Coaches Hot Seat NFL Quotes of the Day – Tuesday, July 23, 2013 – Mark Twain
“At last the lake burst upon us–a noble sheet of blue water lifted six thousand three hundred feet above the level of the sea, and walled in by a rim of snow-clad mountain peaks that towered aloft three thousand feet higher still! As it lay there with the shadows of the mountains brilliantly photographed upon its still surface, I thought it must surely be the fairest picture the whole world affords.” Mark Twain on Lake Tahoe, Roughing It, 1861
And
“It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.”
And
“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
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“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”
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“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
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“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”
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“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. “
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“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”
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“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
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“Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”
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“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
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“Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”
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“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”
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“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”
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“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
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“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
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“There are lies, damned lies and statistics.”
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“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
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“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”
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“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
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“All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.”
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“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”
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“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”
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“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
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“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”
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“Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.”
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“The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.”
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“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
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“Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
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“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”
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“Don’t tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.”
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‘There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.”
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“A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”
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“I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”
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“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
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“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
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“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
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“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
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“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”
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“The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.”
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“I haven’t a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.”
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‘Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
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“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”
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“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away and a sunny spirit takes their place.”
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“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.”
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“Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.”
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“The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey.”
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“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.”
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“Always acknowledge a fault frankly. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you opportunity to commit more.”
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“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered — either by themselves or by others. But for the Civil War, Lincoln and Grant and Sherman and Sheridan would not have been discovered, nor have risen into notice. … I have touched upon this matter in a small book which I wrote a generation ago and which I have not published as yet — Captain Stormfield’s Visit to Heaven. When Stormfield arrived in heaven he … was told that … a shoemaker … was the most prodigious military genius the planet had ever produced.”
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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.” The Innocents Abroad, 1869
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“He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it — namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.” The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876
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“Work consists of whatever a body is OBLIGED to do, and…Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.” The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876
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“France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.”
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“Familiarity breeds contempt — and children.”
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“In the beginning of a change, the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot”
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“Never let your schooling interfere with your education.”
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“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”
Wikipedia: Mark Twain
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