For the last time in the 2015 – 2016 College Football Season…Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!
1. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – A college head coach finding his ass on the Hot Seat is usually all about “not meeting the expectations” of a school’s fan base and perhaps no coach has fallen more short of “meeting expectations” of the fans of his football team the last couple of years than…
Kevin Sumlin, head coach at Texas A&M
To get a better understanding of the “expectations” for Kevin Sumlin at Texas A&M we asked a good Aggie friend of ours that is one of those guys in the “energy bidness” in Texas that could buy and sell half of Houston in an afternoon and not break as sweat while doing it about Sumlin. A few Coaches Hot Seat members were in Houston recently on business and we sat down at lunch with our Texas Aggie friend and had a conversation about “expectations” at Texas A&M:
Coaches Hot Seat: “Tell us…what do you believe that Kevin Sumlin should have accomplished by this just completed fourth season at Texas A&M realizing that Sumlin has posted a record of 17 – 15 in SEC play and overall record of 36 – 16?”
Texas Aggie Friend: “We (with “We” referring to a bunch of Aggie buddies of this guy that also could buy half of Houston in afternoon and not break a sweat!) thought for sure in his first four seasons that Sumlin would have won the SEC West and taken the Aggies to the SEC Championship Game at least one time.”
Coaches Hot Seat: “So you and your buddies believe A&M should be competing to win and even win the SEC West Title on a regular basis?”
Texas Aggie Friend: “Why Hell Yes! If Sumlin thinks we are paying him over $5 Million Dollars a year to coach .500 football in the SEC then Sumlin’s ass needs to be run out of town tonight!”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Just a guess, but we rather doubt that Kevin Sumlin believes his A&M team can beat Alabama more than 1 ever 5 years or so and considering how tough the SEC West is the Aggies would probably be lucky to get to the SEC Title game every decade or so…our opinion of course.”
Texas Aggie Friend: “If that’s the case then we need to hire some two-bit high school coach for $250K a year because .500 ball with the amount of talent that is on the Aggies roster right now any Damn coach could do that and for Damn sure we shouldn’t be paying Sumlin $5 Million Plus to coach .500 ball.”
Coaches Hot Seat: “What does Kevin Sumlin have to do in 2016 to keep his job?”
Texas Aggie Friend: “Win the SEC West…PERIOD!”
With the above in mind let’s go to Texas A&M’s 2016 schedule:
Prairie View A&M
Arkansas – Dallas
At South Carolina
New Mexico State
At Mississippi State
Texas San Antonio
Just a guess in January 2016 as we look at the above schedule if Kevin Sumlin has to “Win the SEC West in 2106” to keep his job…
Kevin Sumlin will be coaching his last year at Texas A&M!
Memo to Kevin Sumlin: Soak it ALL in son….soak it ALL in!
2. Will Muschamp, South Carolina – After seeing Will Muchamp’s sideline behavior at Florida and Auburn the last few years both on TV and in person we wouldn’t…
Hire Will Muschamp to Shovel Shit
….and yet a college football program that is now in…
Complete Freaking Disarray
….just hired in Will Muschamp…
A Total and Completely Out-of-Freaking Control Coach
….and if you are thinking there is a…
Train Wreck to END all Train Wrecks coming down the track in Columbia, South Carolina
….you would be right!
Let’s get on that Out-of-Freaking Control Train with Gamecocks Head Coach Will Muschamp and Athletic Director Ray Tanner and see just where this train is going to Jump the Freaking Track and Dive Into an Icy River during the 2016 College Football Season!
At Mississippi State
Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule…..
Got 3 or 4 wins by South Carolina and Will Muschamp in 2016?
Memo to No One In Particular: If South Carolina only wins 3 or 4 games in 2016 not only will Will Muschamp be fired come early December but USC AD Ray Tanner will be run out of Columbia as well….on a rail…which is fitting!
3. Gus Malzahn, Auburn – Gus Malzahn just completed his third season as the head coach of the Auburn Tigers and he has record on the board of…
Overall: 27 – 13
SEC: 13 – 11
….and the calculus for what Gus Malzahn and Auburn AD Jay Jacobs are facing in 2016 was explained to us by an Auburn-alum friend of ours in the Atlanta area that put it pretty plainly to us by saying…
“Anything less than 8 wins overall and 5 wins in SEC play in 2016 by Auburn and Gus Malzahn will be fired and Jay Jacobs will be re-assigned at Auburn.”
Hmmm…..8 wins overall and 5 wins in SEC play and who is Auburn playing in 2016?
At Mississippi State
At Ole Miss
Geez with that tough schedule…don’t call us Nostradamus but it sure the Hell looks like come early December…
“Gus Malzahn will be fired and Jay Jacobs will be re-assigned at Auburn!”
4. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell has now coached three seasons at Purdue and his records on the board are:
Overall: 6 – 30
Big Ten: 2 – 22
Please…ANYONE…tell us why Darrell Hazell is still the head football coach at Purdue?
That is what one would call the Sounds of Freaking Silence!
5. Steve Addazio, Boston College – After taking Boston College to bowl games in his first two seasons head coach Steve Addazio’s BC team Fell to Freaking Pieces in 2015 and posted records of…
3 – 9 overall
0 – 8 in ACC play
…..and now Addazio is coaching for his job and his future as a head coach on the FBS level in 2016 and in our opinion…
Anything less than SIX wins in 2016 and Steve Addazio is done on Chestnut Hill!
6. Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – Mike MacIntyre has coached for three seasons at Colorado and has on the board records of…
Overall: 10 – 27
Pac 12: 2 – 25
Damn…that is BAD when one considers we are talking about Colorado Football which should be able to win a Helluva lot more than TWO Pac-12 Conference games over a THREE year period and yet…
The CU Buffs have won TWO Pac-12 Conference Games in the last THREE seasons!
Our learned opinion on this since we have some DEEP contacts at the University of Colorado who tell us EVERYTHING that is going on with the Colorado football program….which is probably MORE than what head coach Mike MacIntyre knows or would want to know on what is going on with CU Buffs football…
2016 is either SIX wins plus or BUST for Mike MacIntyre meaning either Colorado gets to SIX wins or it’s Turn Out the Lights the Party’s Over in Boulder for Mike MacIntyre!
Oh….here is Colorado’s 2016 schedule which is not finalized on all the dates yet:
Colorado State – Denver
Geez with that tough schedule…it’s going to take a Rocky Mountain Miracle for Mike MacIntyre and the Colorado Buffs to win SIX games plus in 2016!
7. Les Miles, LSU – Right after the New Year a call was placed by a Coaches Hot Seat member to a “friend” in the Great State of Louisiana that we had met during our many travels to New Orleans and Baton Rouge in recent years and the following question was posed to that LSU Friend:
Coaches Hot Seat: “So what’s up with Les Miles in 2016?”
LSU Friend: “Anything less than 10 wins and Les Miles is done at LSU.”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Damn….Thanks.”
LSU Friend: “No problem….come by house when you are in New Orleans next time.”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Absolutely.”
Damn…..with that in mind let’s go to the LSU 2016 schedule:
Wisconsin – Lambeau Field, Green Bay
At Texas A&M
Les Miles has to win “10 games” in 2016 or he is done huh?
Geez with that schedule….Les Miles is DONE come December 2016!
8. Mark Stoops, Kentucky – After three seasons in Lexington Mark Stoops has record on the board at Kentucky of..
Overall: 12 – 24
SEC: 4 – 20
…..and those records make 2016 either…
.500 or BUST for Mark Stoops in Bluegrass Country!
Let’s go to Kentucky’s 2016 schedule:
New Mexico State
Damn…we just don’t see SIX wins on the Kentucky schedule in 2016 and if the Wildcats don’t get SIX wins we just might see….
THREE Stoops Brothers on the Oklahoma coaching staff in 2017!
9. Charlie Strong, Texas – The word on the street from our Texas-alum buddies is that the Texas Money Boys have already come to the conclusion that Charlie Strong is not going to “Cut It” at Texas and that come December 2016 the Longhorns will be in the market for a new head football coach and that this time around the Texas Money Boys are going to have…
The Money Ready to Go to Get the “Best Damn Football Coach in the Country!”
In case you were wondering that might just mean the Texas Money Boys will make another run at Nick Saban in 2016 if Charlie Strong can’t “Cut It” and since we don’t think Nick Saban to Texas will happen that means the Texas Money Boys will be going after the…
“Second Best Damn Coach in the Country”
….with Saban-Like Money so we would recommend that the Top 25 or so Head Coaches in College Football COACH LIKE HELL in 2016 because you just might get yourself in line for..
$8 Million Dollars Plus A Year
….from the Texas Money Boys come December 2016!
So what will Charlie Strong have to do to have deemed to have “Cut It” by the Texas Money Boys in 2016?
10 Plus Wins we are being told which brings us to the Texas 2016 schedule:
At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma – Dallas
At Kansas State
At Texas Tech
Can Charlie Strong and Texas win 10 football games in 2016 playing the above schedule to get to the “Cut It” mark?
Not Very Damn Likely…in our humble opinion!
Coach Hard Charlie Strong and if it doesn’t work out at Texas you will be RICH for ONE and you will probably be able to get another head coaching job if you want one for TWO!
10. Mike Riley, Nebraska – Mike Riley’s Nebraska team got a nice win over UCLA in their bowl game BUT the Huskers had MORE talent on their roster than the Bruins and in 2015 Nebraska which finished with a record of…
6 – 7
….only played ONE football team with MORE talent than the Huskers in 2015 and that was ironically a team that Nebraska beat….
In 2016 with the below schedule…
At Ohio State
….Nebraska will only play TWO football teams…Oregon and Ohio State…that have MORE talent than the Huskers so we are expecting…
A Helluva lot more than 6 wins in 2016 Mike Riley….A HELLUVA LOT MORE!