Where are you Johnny Cash? Or there you are….great to see you again Johnny! Now can you give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell for us Johnny?
1. David Beaty, Kansas – Kansas lost 48 – 16 at Texas Tech on Saturday and 43 games into his tenure in Lawrence David Beaty’s records now stand at…
Overall: 5 – 38
Big 12: 1 – 30
With these games left to play….
At Kansas State
…we give Kansas a ZERO-POINT.ZERO chance of winning another game this season and one can only wonder who is on Kansas AD Jeff Long’s short list to be next head football coach of the Jayhawks because when you look at the head football coaches that Jeff Long has hired as an AD it’s got to be worrisome if you are fan of Kansas football!
2005 – Dave Wannstedt, Pitt – FIRED
2008 – Bobby Petrino, Arkansas – FIRED
2009 – John L. Smith, Interim Arkansas – CRAZY AS HELL!
2013 – Bret Bielema – FIRED
We can think of 10 coaches that could turn Kansas football into a .500 football program in 3 years or less…are any of those 10 coaches on Kansas AD Jeff Long’s list to replace David Beaty?
NOPE…and we have that on good authority!
Just an opinion…the Total Disaster that is Kansas Football will keep rolling into the future with no end in sight!
2. Chris Ash, Rutgers – Rutgers gave a Northwestern team that has looked at times in 2018 like head coach Pat Fitzgerald and his staff spend every afternoon at the local bar drinking bear, playing video games, and hitting on waitresses rather a team that is Coached by Real Coaches in practice on a regular basis a decent game on Saturday but come now..
3 – 3 Akron beat Northwestern in Evanston this year!
What kind of football program is Rutgers in head coach Chris Ash third season on the job…well the records are…
Overall: 7 – 25
Big Ten: 3 – 21
…and those 7 wins were over….
So in three seasons Chris Ash has beaten ONE FBS team with a .500 or better record and that was Purdue last year which went 7 – 6 in Jeff Brohm’s first year on the job and what has Brohm done in less than two seasons on the job with the same amount of talent at Purdue that Ash inherited at Rutgers….
Well…he just beat Ohio State which Rutgers lost to earlier this by a score of…wait for it…
52 – 3!
A very simple question the folks at Rutgers need to ask themselves:
Is Rutgers a better football team today than it was when Chris Ash took over 3 seasons ago and remember he took over a team that had gone…
27 – 24
…the previous four seasons under Kyle Flood.
If you answer anything but NO to the above question not only do you Not Have A Damn Clue about the game of football you are a Damn Fool!
Yes…there are Lots of Damn Fools in AD positions hiring football coaches in today’s world!
3. Lovie Smith, Illinois – In Lovie Smith’s 31 st game as the head coach at Illinois his football team got whipped by an Average Wisconsin team in Madison by the score of…
49 – 20
…to drop the Illini’s record to 3 – 4 on the year and Lovie’s record at the school to…
Overall: 8 – 23
Big Ten: 3 – 19
Oh…those 8 wins were over….
Like Rutgers HC Chris Ash Ole Lovie Smith has beaten ONE FBS team with a .500 or better record…no not Michigan State in 2016 which went 3 – 9 that year but….wait for it…
…which finished last year…wait for it…at 6 – 7!
You want to read something Really Damn Hilarious? Read the below statement by Illinois AD on the hiring of Lovie Smith at Illinois:
“Naming Lovie Smith as the Illinois head football coach is the first step in taking this program to a place of national prominence,” Whitman said. “We will build a program that contends annually for Big Ten and national championships. The timing for this move was extremely tight, and we needed to move quickly. A coach of Lovie’s caliber would not have been available to us if we had waited until after the 2016 season. Lovie’s reputation as a coach, and even more so as a person, made it clear it was an awesome opportunity for the University of Illinois.”
Got LOL – Freaking – LOL?
Also got Lovie Smith’s agent ROLLED Illinois AD Josh Whitman thinking that because Lovie got a loaded NFL roster with Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl that wasn’t something hundreds if not thousands of football coaches in America couldn’t have also done?
Oh…lest us not forget that Lovie Smith took over an Illinois football team that went 5 – 7 in 2015 under Bill Cubit and the year before had finished at 6 – 7 under Tim Beck.
Here’s what Lovie Smith has done at Illinois:
He has taken an Average Football Program and turned into a Complete Freaking Laughingstock…that’s what Lovie Smith has done and Oh his buyout on December 1, 2018….
…on top of Lovie getting paid $5 Million Dollars A Year!
What in the Hell has Lovie Smith done to earn that $5 Million Dollars A Year?
Not One Damn Thing and in FACT his presence in Champaign has made the Illinois football program WORSE not BETTER!
Oh…the 3 – 4 Illini have left on their schedule…
We would be shocked if Illinois wins more than 1 of their remaining 5 games….but then we were shocked when Lovie Smith was hired to coach a college football team when the last time he coached in the college game before taking this job in 2016 was in 1995 at Ohio State!
20+ Freaking Years!
Got there are Helluva Lot of Stupid Damn People hiring football coaches on the FBS level right now?
4. Randy Edsall, UConn – South Florida may just be the softest undefeated football in recent college football history and UConn gave those soft Bulls a decent game before losing by the score of 38 – 30 which with the loss dropped the Huskies record in 2018 to…
1 – 6
….and Randy Edsall’s record at UConn the last two seasons to….
4 – 15
Oh…those 4 wins were over…
Randy Edsall has beaten ONE FBS team with a .500 or better record and that was…
Temple last year that went 7 – 6.
Is Randy Edsall long for the UConn right now meaning will Edsall coach the Huskies in 2019?
We haven’t a Damn clue but let us know how many more games you think 1 – 6 UConn will win in 2018 from their remaining games…
At East Carolina
Maybe they beat UMass….Maybe!
5. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – It didn’t surprise anyone at Coaches Hot Seat that Larry Fedora’s Tar Heels gave Syracuse all it could want on Saturday since Dino Baber’s football teams melt like a cube of butter on a hot sidewalk in Phoenix in the middle of Summer but North Carolina did take Syracuse to two overtimes before losing after they should have beaten Virginia Tech the week before but come now….UNC is still 1 – 5 on the season and they still have left to play games against…
Georgia Tech can be beat….that’s obvious…and Western Carolina is a win but can UNC end up with a record better than…
3 – 8
….in 2018 with the game against UCF cancelled due to a hurricane…which woulda been a loss?
Not in our humble opinion.
6. Brent Brennan, San Jose State – Again the San Jose Spartans gave a decent team….San Diego State…..a decent game before losing 16 – 13 to the Aztecs but come now….San Jose State is now 0 – 7 on the season and head coach Brent Brennan’s record in two years at the school are now at…
Overall: 2 – 18
MWC: 1 – 11
Who exactly did San Jose State beat in those two games last year?
Cal Poly and then Wyoming in the last game of the season.
Is Brent Brennan long for the San Jose State job?
We haven’t a Damn Clue but with these games left…
At Utah State
At Fresno State
…if SJSU doesn’t beat UNLV on Saturday it looks like ZERO wins in 2018 for the Spartans!
7. Gus Malzahn, Auburn – It’s clear now the money has been put together to buyout Gus Malzahn if that is what needs to be done at the end of this season which is something along the lines of…
$32 Million Dollars Total
$15 Million Dollars Paid Within 90 Days
$17 Million Dollars Remaining Paid Over Next 6 Years
…and we can understand why with the way Auburn has looked in 2018 which we would characterize as…
A Head Coach with a $32 Million Dollar Buyout who could really care less how many games Auburn wins in 2018 or ever again!
In our humble opinion!
We have lots of ways to measure coaches at Coaches Hot Seat and one of those measure is a scale of 1 – 100 which we do before each season on how bad does a loss impact “X” coach with the scale being…
100 = The Freaking World Is Over!
1 = No Big Whoop!
…and Gus Malzahn before the 2018 season fell at….
25 = Whatever
…on that measure and the general consensus if we had to redo that measure again it would today be….
12 = We Lost? Really? It’s A Beautiful Day Though!
Oh…Nick Saban on this measure of coaches on how hard a loss hits them is at…
100 = The Freaking World Is Over!
Be Proud Auburn fans because here is what you now have on your hands when a team in the state of Alabama loses a game…
Nick Saban = 100 = The Freaking World Is Over!
Gus Malzahn = 12 = We Lost? Really? It’s A Beautiful Day Though!
With the win over Totally Damn Listless Ole Miss which looked Totally Un-Coached on Saturday and in the second half had players….Loafing All Over the Field…the Auburn Tigers are now 5 – 3 on the season with games left against…
If Auburn beats Liberty and loses to the A&M, Georgia and Alabama to finish at 6 – 6 with a totally loaded roster will Gus Malzahn get the Heave-Hoe out the back door with Millions of Dollars in early December of this year?
Who might be the front-runner to replace Gus Malzahn at Auburn?
Purdue Head Coach Jeff Brohm….in our humble opinion.
Where does Jeff Brohm fall on how does a loss impact “X” coach with Brohm being the coach in this case…the same as Saban:
100 = The Freaking World Is Over!
Jeff Brohm just might be the Pat Dye to Paul “Bear” Bryant who at the end of Bryant’s career turned the tables just enough to send the Bear packing beating him in their last Auburn – Alabama game against each other at Legion Field in Birmingham, Alabama:
8. Clay Helton, USC – If there ever was a FBS head coach that really could not afford to lose a game on Saturday it was USC head coach Clay Helton whose Trojans lost to Utah by the score of…
41 – 28
….to drop the Trojans record to 4 – 3 on the season with games still left against…
At Oregon State
We have it on good authority that Clay Helton really needs to win 4 of the next 5 games or things will be mighty ugly around USC in late November especially if the Trojans lose the last two games to the Bruins and Irish!
9. Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist wrote a hilarious story last week about Paul Johnson’s situation at Georgia Tech…
…with this really hilarious lead:
“The belief is that Todd Stansbury, Georgia Tech’s athletic director, doesn’t want to fire his football coach. Events, however, aren’t cooperating. The Yellow Jackets are 3-4. The only Power 5 team they’ve beaten is Louisville, which might be the worst Power 5 team.”
An AD that doesn’t want to fire a coach?
No AD wants to fire a coach but what AD that is competent in his job would do anything but fire ANY coach that wasn’t performing and in the last two seasons Johnson has posted a records of…
Overall: 8 – 10
ACC: 5 – 7
…and 3 – 4 Tech still has to play in 2018 games against…
At Virginia Tech
At North Carolina
So the AD at Georgia Tech is hoping with his fingers crossed that Georgia Tech wins 3 of their remaining 5 games to get bowl eligible in Paul Johnson’s….
11 th season at Georgia Tech?
Shouldn’t the AD at Tech be thinking that the Georgia Tech football team should be winning 10+ games in Johnson’s 11 th year at the school?
Yes…but that would be a Competent AD that Knew His Ass From the Side of a Barn and if you are thinking America was not built by LOSERS like Todd Stansbury then you would be right!
Here’s a thought for you Todd Stansbury >
Walk into Paul Johnson’s office and tell him if his team doesn’t win at least 4 of its remaining 5 games his ass is going to be fired instead of sitting in your office and hoping like a Damn Loser that Georgia Tech gets to 6 wins in 2018!
10. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – Oklahoma State had a bye in Week 8 and the only real question that needs to be answered is…
Did Cowboys head coach Mike Gundy and his coaches do any Real Work in the bye week in getting ready for a primetime match up against Texas next week of will the Total Slop that is Oklahoma State football continue rolling on in the 2018 season with the coaching staff asleep at the wheel?
We are all going to find out the answer to that question because there really is…
No Damn Good Excuse
…for Tom Herman in his second year at Texas to come rolling into Stillwater…after taking over a totally tanking Longhorns football program…and beat Mike Gundy’s Cowboys when Gundy is in his….
14 th year at OSU!
If Texas does come in and beat Oklahoma State to drop the Cowboys record to 4 – 4 on the year with games still left against…
….Ole Mike Gundy might have to get his agent to shop his wares around to program’s with open jobs this coming offseason because Ole Gundy may just find his ass out of his job in Stillwater in early December!
Texas beats OSU
Baylor beats OSU
Oklahoma beats OSU
West Virginia beats OSU
TCU beats OSU
….and the Cowboys finish at 4 – 8 on the year and Mike Gundy is sitting around the Christmas Tree without a job but with $16 million dollars in the bank from his buyout!
Karma can be a bitch and in his case the Karma is bad but Gundy will get $16 Million Dollars to do NOTHING which may be what he wants….if Oklahoma State QUITS down the stretch then that will be what Gundy wants….
In our humble opinion!