Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

The college football season is really rolling along and let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to show tell these Coaches on the Hot Seat about the Facts of Life!

Thank You Johnny!

Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – An interesting thing to look at for Head Coaches on the Hot Seat is there record against FBS teams with .500 records and Pruitt’s records against those teams is >

2 – 9

No…that’s not too good and that means that of Pruitt’s 6 wins at Tennessee in posting a 6 – 10 record in two seasons in Knoxville….4 of those wins were against FCS or FBS teams with sub-.500 records! Yep…Tennessee Football is Dead and it ain’t coming back anytime soon!

The Vols had a bye in Week 5 and now it’s back to Real Football with Georgia coming to town with a 1 – 3 record on the board so with this schedule left to play…

Mississippi State
At Alabama
South Carolina
At Kentucky
At Missouri

…just how many games can the Tennessee win in 2019?

Well, if the Vols cannot beat Mississippi State on October 12 then they might not win another game this season because the Bulldogs are softer than butter on the sidewalk in the Summer Alabama Sun!

2.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Ole Lovie Smith been the head coach at Illinois for 4 seasons now and his record against FBS teams with .500+ records now stands at >

3 – 27

Laugh Out Loud Forever because wait for it…Lovie Smith got a contract extension after last season!

Lovie Smith now sitting on a Big Ten Conference record of 4 – 24 had a bye in Week 5 and the 2 – 2 Illini have games left against…

At Minnesota
At Purdue
At Michigan State
At Iowa

Well….Purdue is softer than Butter in the Summer Alabama Sun as is Rutgers and Northwestern so Illinois has a chance to win 3 more games in 2019 to finish at 5 – 7 which…wait for it…probably get Lovie Smith another contract extension!

Hell…with Lovie Smith at Illinois, Jeff Brohm at Purdue, and Pat Fitzgerald at Northwestern there are at least 3 Big Ten Teams that are almost guaranteed wins on the schedule which dropped from 4 with Chris Ash getting fired this week! Hell you just show up at the stadium against Northwestern they just…

Lay Down and Quit like their Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald who is now known around Coaches Hot Seat as….

Quitting Patty Boy!

Don’t earn your paycheck again this week Patty Boy whose ass will be on the Hot Seat soon!

3.  Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – Justin Fuente’s record against FBS teams with .500+ records at Va. Tech now stands at >

17 – 15

Not so good…at Virginia Tech especially when you consider Fuente’s overall record is 27 – 17 with the Hokies so that means many of his wins are against FBS teams with sub-.500 records!

We have a definite opinion on Hokies Coach Justin Fuente >

He’s just Worthless As Hell!

We believe we know why the Hokies have fallen apart and are obviously in our opinion no longer playing hard for Fuente and other Hokies coaches and we are sitting in San Francisco so the Head Coach should know as well but somehow he seems like he does not…or maybe he does know and in our opinion Fuente is too much of a Damn Coward to address the problem and LEAD the football program that he is being paid Millions of Dollars a year to LEAD and if we had to guess…it’s the latter >

Justin Fuente is just a Damn Coward with No Damn Guts so he hides like the Damn Coward to the Obvious As Hell Problems with his football team!

Just our humble opinion!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season with wins against…wait for it…Old Dominion and Furman…still have to play games against…

At Miami
Rhode Island
North Carolina
At Notre Dame
Wake Forest
Georgia Tech
At Virginia

That looks like a season record of 3 – 9 and 4 – 8 to us and Justin Fuente being fired right after the Virginia game in late November and not a Damn moment too soon in our humble opinion!

4.  Chad Morris, Arkansas – Chad Morris has an overall record of 4 – 13 at Arkansas and his record against FBS teams with .500+ records now stands at >

0 – 12

Not good…even at Arkansas!

We almost would have been quicker to fire Chad Morris after the close loss to Texas A&M than the Total Disaster of a loss to San Jose State last week because if you can play the Aggies to one score game please now…

How in Hell can you lose to San Jose State at home Chad Morris?

Arkansas is now 2 – 3 on the season with wins over Portland State and Colorado State and has games left against…

At Kentucky
At Alabama
Mississippi State
Western Kentucky

Just our opinion….Arkansas will TOPS win one more game in 2019 and Chad Morris will finish with a record of 3 – 9 after going 2 – 10 last season and that would mean another 0 – 8 record in SEC Conference play for the Hogs and if they do go 0 – 8 for a second straight season that would mean for Arkansas under Morris and Bielema over the past 4 seasons the Hogs record in SEC play would be >

4 – 28!

Maybe one day they will hire an Athletic Director at Arkansas that actually knows his ass from the side of a barn and the Hogs will hire a…wait for it…

Freaking Head Football Coach!

5.  Chip Kelly, UCLA – Chip Kelly’s overall record at UCLA now stands at 4 – 13 and his record against FBS teams with .500+ records is now at….

4 – 12!

The Bruins played pretty well against Arizona but made so many mistakes on offense that really slowed down the UCLA offense we saw against Wazzu and in 2019 UCLA has scored in games…


You think that Wazzu defense is a Total Disaster? Yep!

UCLA now at 1 – 4 on the season has left to play games against…

Oregon State
At Stanford
Arizona State
At Utah

Now if UCLA can score 35 points in all of their remaining 7 games they can win 5 of them but finding a way to score those 35 points is the problem!

Memo to Chip Kelly:  There’s an old saying in the US Navy that when you have superiority over your enemy you just whip their ass straight-up but when you have fewer forces to bring to bare against the enemy you….

Create Chaos and Hell and Whip Their Asses With Confusion!

You beat Wazzu by Creating Chaos and Hell and Whipping Their Asses With Confusion…so do the same against Oregon State!

6.  Charlie Strong, South Florida – Charlie Strong’s overall record at South Florida is 18 – 11 and his record against FBS teams with .500+ records now stands at…

3 – 11

The reality is that even with an overall record of 18 – 11 that Charlie Strong has gotten a Helluva Lot of Wins against FCS or FBS teams with sub.500 records and now at 1 – 3 on the season the Bulls have these games left to play in 2019 >

At UConn
At Navy
At East Carolina

South Florida should be able to beat UConn even on the road but will they win another game in 2019?

Not likely and the South Florida job which is one Helluva Job in our opinion will be coming open in late November.

7.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – Will Muschamp’s overall record at South Carolina now stands at 24 – 20 and his record against FBS teams with .500+ records is now…

12 – 20

HALF of Will Muschamp’s wins are against FCS or FBS teams with sub-.500 records and his record in SEC Conference play >

13 – 14

Neither very Hot but the do put your ass on the Hot Seat!

Now at 2 – 3 on the season the Gamecocks have left in 2019 games against…

At Georgia
At Tennessee
Appalachian State
At Texas A&M

South Carolina has the talent to win 5 of their remaining 7 games but how many games will they win….we’ll go…

Appalachian State

…which adds up to 5 – 7 and 5 – 7 in Year 4 at South Carolina….Well…this fellow could have done that!

8.  Clay Helton, USC – Helton’s overall record at USC now stands at 35 – 19 and his record against FBS teams with .500+ records is now…

21 – 19

No…not so good when we are talking about USC!

After the loss to Washington the Trojans are now 3 – 2 and they have left to play games against…

At Notre Dame
At Colorado
At Arizona State
At California

Our guess is that USC finishes with someone like a 7 – 5 record in 2019 and the Trojans will be looking for a new head football coach come late November.

9.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – 2019 has been an up-and-down year for BYU in Kalani Sitake’s 4th year at the school where he has posted a 22 – 22 mark and against FBS teams with .500+ his record is now…

11 – 20

Now at 2 – 3 on the season after the loss to Toledo the Cougars have left to play in 2019…

At South Florida
Boise State
At Utah State
Idaho State
At UMass
At San Diego State

South Florida is a Total Disaster right now so that should be a win as should games against Idaho State and UMass and that adds up to 5 wins and BYU better find at least 2 wins against Boise State, Utah State, Liberty, and San Diego State if Sitake is going to have a chance to return to coach BYU in 2020!

10.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – Willie Taggart’s overall record at FSU now stands at 8 – 9 and his mark against FBS teams with .500+ records is….

6 – 8

Not good….this is FSU!

The 3 – 2 Seminoles now have games left against…

At Clemson
At Wake Forest
At Boston College
Alabama State
At Florida

…and since Taggart needs at least 7 wins in 2019 to return to coach the Seminoles in 2020 he better find 4 wins in those last 7 games!