We will have a lot more to say about the New FBS Head Coaching Hires in January 2020 but so far….
Appalachian State – Shawn Clark – No Clue About
Arkansas – Sam Pittman – The Worst Head Coaching Hire in College Football History…YES…even worse than Charlie Weis Hired by Kansas…in our humble opinion!
Colorado State – Steve Addazio – We would not hire Steve Addazio to Shovel Shit in Eastern Colorado forget about to coach Colorado State because in our opinion Addazio is a Pompous Arrogant Ass Punk and a Sorry Damn Excuse for a Human Being and top of all that…he’s an Average As Hell Coach!
Florida Atlantic – Willie Taggert – Whatever. Makes No Sense To Us but….Whatever.
Missouri – Eli Drinkwitz – Eli can coach the game of football and we expect him to WIN at Missouri…how much he will WIN is up for debate but the guy can coach and he will WIN at Mizzou!
Old Dominion – Ricky Rahne – No Clue About
Ole Miss – Lane Kiffin – Lane Kiffin is a different + better Human Being and a better Football Coach than the guy who was fired on the tarmac at Los Angeles International Airport and we will be interested to see what Lane can do at Ole Miss. Our expectations is that he will average 7 to 8 wins a season over the first 3 seasons which is Pretty Damn Good at Ole Miss. Whether Lane Kiffin can do better than that is really up to Lane Kiffin!
Rutgers – Greg Schiano – We don’t like Greg Schiano and consider him to be a Pompous Arrogant Ass Jerk and we would never hire the guy to coach any football team we were associated with but maybe he can win at Rutgers….maybe not. It’s a tough place to win sitting in the Big Ten East Division and Rutgers should be a better football program than Maryland but the rest of the teams in that division….those teams will be very hard to pass.
South Florida – Jeff Scott – Jeff Scott has been a solid assistant coach but now he’s got to lead a South Florida football program that should be winning 8+ games a season and let’s see what the kid can do.
UNLV – Marcus Arroyo – Really? What a Crazy Ass Hire!
UTSA – Jeff Traylor – No Clue About
Washington – Jimmy Lake – Jimmy Lake has always impressed us as an assistant coach at Washington and we are interested to see what he can do following Chris Petersen who elevated the Huskies to place where they haven’t been since Rick Neuheisel’s days at UW and now it’s up to Jimmy Lake to do that as well. Good Luck to you Jimmy!
Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!
Thank You Johnny!
1. Tom Herman, Texas – There really is no explanation for what has been going on at Texas since the Longhorns won the National Championship in 2009 and have posted the following records since >
2010 = 5 – 7
2011 = 8 – 5
2012 = 9 – 4
2013 = 8 – 5
2014 = 6 – 7
2015 = 5 – 7
2016 = 5 – 7
2017 = 7 – 6
2018 = 10 – 4
2019 = 7 – 5
That’s 4+ losses for the Mighty Texas Longhorns for 10 straight seasons now and 5+ losses in 7 of the last 10 seasons!
What exactly is going on at Texas which has plenty of talent but can’t seem to find a Head Coach that can win on any kind of consistent basis is a mystery to us and the current Head Coach Tom Herman is now sitting on records of >
Overall: 24 – 15
Big 12: 17 – 10
An even worse record is Herman’s W/L against FBS Teams with .500+ records…
10 – 8
This is Texas Football we are talking about here where the coaches should be able to roll the footballs out on the practice fields and the team would win 7 games a year with the players coaching themselves….and yet Herman has only won 7 games in 2 of his 3 seasons at the school!
Now with that 7 – 5 record Tom Herman and the Longhorns get to play Utah in the Alamo Bowl a team that just got whipped and embarrassed in the Pac-12 Title Game against Oregon and who will surely be Royally Pissed-Off when they get to San Antonio and will be looking to obliterate a Texas that looks Very Damn Obliteratable!
7 – 6 in Year 3 for Tom Herman would be nothing short of a Complete Disaster and set-up 2020 to be the season that will determine not only Herman’s future at Texas but his head coaching career Period!
2. Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – It’s not just that Kevin Sumlin is now sitting on records at Arizona of…
Overall: 9 – 15
Pac-12: 6 – 12
…but that the Wildcats under Sumlin really haven’t beat many decent teams at all with a record in 2 seasons against FBS Teams with .500+ records of…
2 – 15
….and that is nothing short of a football program on the brink of sinking into Total Oblivion with now very few people in Tucson that really even care about Arizona Football anymore.
Kevin Sumlin in our opinion has turned Arizona Football into an operation that exists for one reason and that is to serve his Massive Ego and if Arizona Football has to be taken down on the cross of the Great Kevin Sumlin then it will be taking down the AD at the school….Dave Heeke….cheering that taking down of the football program that he is supposed to be supervising…in our humble opinion.
In 2020 Arizona Football will be playing…
At Texas Tech
At Oregon State
That looks like another sub-500 record to us which will probably lead to Arizona AD Dave Heeke giving Kevin Sumlin an extension because if you are willing to tolerate a record of 2 – 15 against FBS Teams with .500+ records then do you even care about you’re the football program?
No…in our humble opinion.
3. Will Muschamp, South Carolina – It really is something that in your 51st game at a school like South Carolina that you can lose a game on your home field against your cross-state rival by…
…and keep your job but that is what we have with Will Muschamp at South Carolina who has posted records at the school of…
Overall: 26 – 25
SEC: 15 – 17
….which isn’t very inspiring to us so how in the Hell could it be to anyone else in or around South Carolina and just take a look at what the Gamecocks are facing in 2020 >
We count at least 6 losses and only 2 for-sure wins and the 4 remaining games who knows and that’s the problem for Will Muschamp at South Carolina as he heads into his 5th at USC….
No one knows what is coming and that by itself is a Complete Disaster for the near and long-term future of South Carolina Football!
Oh….Will Muschamp just hired just fired Colorado State head coach Mike Bobo to be the new offensive coordinator at South Carolina and Bobo’s offense in 2019 finished at…wait for it…
The Bells of Doom just Keep On Ringing at South Carolina and what we need to do is to get someone to quit letting a Damn Fool to pull the ropes in Columbia! Yall folks gonna need to fire the bell ringer before any of this gets better!
4. Mark Dantonio, Michigan State – As they say in the game of golf as it relates to how good of a player you are…
“You are what you shoot!”
…and over the past 4 seasons Mark Dantonio hasn’t been much at all at Michigan State >
Overall: 26 – 24
Big Ten: 17 – 19
This is Michigan State Football we are talking about here where Bozo the Clown could win 7 games a year and over the past 4 seasons Dantonio has averaged….
6.5 Wins A Season
….and the real problem at Michigan State University isn’t so much Dantonio Totally Gutting Spartans Football on the back of his Massive Ego but that the Athletic Director and President at MSU are Gutless Cowards who don’t really care that Dantonio is Gutting Spartans Football and why would they since this is an institution that let Pure Damn Evil go on at their school for years with no one say a word so what’s allowing someone to GUT a football program?
Not really all that much by comparison!
Looking ahead to the 2020 Michigan State Football Schedule….
At Penn State
…that looks like another 7 win or worse season to us so the Bozo the Clown Football will continue in East Lansing for another season it seems and we will be right back here in the same spot a year from today with the Gutless Cowards still running things and accepting…
Total Damn Average and Worse Football!
5. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – We are talking about Vanderbilt when talking about Derek Mason which needs an Extraordinary Head Coach to post .500+ records every season…it can certainly be done…with an Extraordinary Head Coach but even a Good Head Coach can get Vandy to 6 wins in his 6th season on the job and yet Vandy in Mason’s 6th season on the job went…
3 – 9
That’s the problem at Vanderbilt…not so much that they are willing to accept Average Football with Mason’s records now at…
Overall: 27 – 47
SEC: 10 – 38
…but that they are willing to accept Way Damn Below Average Football in Mason’s 6th year on the job when the team should be getting…
Better Not Worse!
As anyone with a 2+ IQ we expect someone as they work in a job to get better at that job and when a coach has a football program going backwards as is the case with Mason at Vanderbilt right now you can either let it keep going backwards….Vandy’s choice…or go find someone who can start moving the thing FORWARD…not Vandy’s choice.
Be Happy Vandy Football Fans…Vanderbilt is choosing Going Backwards and that’s all you really need to know!
6. Scott Frost, Nebraska – To really put into perspective what a Total Damn Disaster Scott Frost’s first two seasons at Nebraska have been just look at the records of past Nebraska Head Football Coaches after two seasons going back to Tom Osborne >
Tom Osborne = 18 – 5 – 1
Frank Solich = 21 – 5
Bill Callahan = 13 – 10
Bo Pelini = 19 – 8
Mike Riley = 15 – 11
Scott Frost = 9 – 15
Really now….does anyone doubt that if Scott Frost’s name was Willie Taggart he would have already had his ass run out of Lincoln?
Didn’t think so and Nebraska AD Bill Moos can say all he wants about “staying the course” with Scott Frost but reality is Frost will coaching for his job in 2020 because if he cannot get it done in 3 full seasons then there’s no point to any of this and with that in mind let’s look at the Huskers 2020 schedule >
South Dakota State
At Ohio State
Barring a Massive Improvement by Nebraska between now and the 2020 season we see…
No Damn Way the Huskers get to 6 wins in 2020 and if they don’t the Scott Frost era will be OVER in Lincoln…and more than likely the Bill Moos era as well!
7. Randy Edsall, Connecticut – Randy Edsall has now been 3 seasons at UConn, the school he left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye to his players when taking the Maryland job in 2015, and in those 3 seasons Edsall has posted records of….
Overall: 6 – 30
AAC: 2 – 22
….which includes ZERO AAC Conference Wins the last 2 seasons and Edsall still has a job at UConn?
Anyone that can explain the above and mainly that Randy Edsall is still employed at UConn will be doing the Damn Impossible!
8. Manny Diaz, Miami – Manny Diaz took over a pretty decent Miami Football program from Mark Richt and promptly went…
6 – 6
4 – 4
…against FBS Teams with .500+ Records and this is Miami Football we are talking about here that finished the season with losses to….
Florida International – 6 – 6 record
Duke – 5 – 7 record
…and the program reeling and headed to the Independence Bowl to play a La. Tech football team which will whip Miami’s ass if the Hurricanes are not prepared to play the bowl game!
Looking at the 2020 Miami schedule…
At Michigan State
At Georgia Tech
At Wake Forest
….in our opinion the Canes will have a tough time just getting to 6 wins in 2020 and Manny Diaz will be in the same spot a year from now that he is in today = Roaring Hot Seat!
9. Dana Holgorsen, Houston – We cannot imagine that the folks at Houston who just fired a coach in Major Applewhite who posted records of…
2017 = 7 – 5
2018 = 8 – 5
….and hired a coach in Dana Holgorsen who just posted in his first year on the job of…
4 – 8
…can be very happy but then things been going South for several years at Houston so maybe Holgo imploding in Year 1 wasn’t a surprise to the folks in H-Town!
Oh…Holgorsen’s record in 2019 against FBS Teams with .500 records was….
0 – 8
Yes…you got that right….Houston got it’s 4 wins against….
Prairie View A&M – FCS
North Texas – 4 – 8 record
UConn – 2 – 10 record
Tulsa – 4 – 8 record
….so as bad as you think the 2019 season was for Dana Holgorsen and Houston…it was actually Much Damn Worse!
Looking at the 2020 Houston Football schedule….
At Washington State
….that looks like it’s going to be Very Tough for Houston to get 6 wins in 2020 and will that acceptable at a place where University of Houston President Renu Khator once said….
“We fire coaches that don’t win 10 games!”
If so why is Dana Holgorsen still employed at the University of Houston Prez?
10. Chip Kelly, UCLA – Chip Kelly has now coached 2 seasons at UCLA and has posted records of….
2018 = 3 – 9
2019 = 4 – 8
Overall: 7 – 17
Pac-12: 7 – 11
…which certainly isn’t optimum but even worse is Kelly’s record against FBS Teams with .500+ records over two seasons….
3 – 15
Geez….Chip….you can do better than that Son!