Post Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches – The Regular Season Is Now Over Johnny Cash and the Millionaire Coaches Are on the Firing Line….This Is No Time To Let Up….Keep Giving Them Hell Mr. Cash!


A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

The Regular Season Is Now Over Johnny Cash and the Millionaire Coaches Are on the Firing Line….This Is No Time To Let Up….Keep Giving Them Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches


1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – There is a lot we could write in this spot about the Auburn loss to Alabama in the Iron Bowl but why waste time listing the dozen-plus reasons that the Tigers had No Damn Chance to win that game with the gameplan the Tigers used which in our opinion….

Was designed by the Auburn coaches to stop Alabama from blowing Auburn out-of-stadium instead of winning the football game

….but instead let us turn to Gus Malzahn’s recent record in SEC Conference play at Auburn which has these lowlights:

6 – 10 in SEC Conference play last 2 seasons

4 – 9 in SEC Conference play in last 13 games

2 – 8 in SEC Conference play in last 10 games

Oh…in case you were wondering….

Auburn has paid Gus Malzahn $8 Million Dollars the last two football seasons in which he has won…

6 SEC Conference Games!

Several people here at Coaches Hot Seat have been to between 2 and 15 football games in Auburn at Jordan-Hare Stadium and we believe we have a pretty good handle on the “Auburn family” and the HUGE $40-plus Dollar commitment made to Auburn football each year and as we look at the historical record of AU football we find a very troubling trend…

Once a head coach starts trending down from a HIGH of wins and losses meaning….

Ralph “Shug” Jordan
Doug Barfield
Pat Dye
Terry Bowden
Tommy Tuberville
Gene Chizik

….the last SIX Auburn football coaches before Gus Malzahn the trend continues DOWNWARD until the coach either retires, is pushed-out, or is fired and in our opinion Auburn AD Jay Jacobs better Damn have a plan in place for what could be…

Complete and Total Disaster of a Season in 2016

….because if the TRUTH be known opposing teams have figured out how to stop the Chip Kelly – Gus Malzahn spread/hurry-up offense and unless you have an athletic future NFL quarterback under center that can make very quick and right decisions….see the Philadelphia Eagles Unfolding Disaster Right Now….the Chip Kelly – Gus Malzahn spread/hurry-up offense now has…

No Damn Chance of Working

….and thus why Jay Jacobs better have a handful of potential head coaches he is interested in hiring….

Assuming of course Jay Jacobs will hire the next head football coach at Auburn

….which we have heard is 50/50 right now.

No…putting up large video boards with someone else’s money…meaning the alums, boosters and fans of Auburn Football…does not guarantee your job security at Auburn or anywhere else and thus between now and a year from now there are TWO people on a Roaring Hot Seat at Auburn:

Gus Malzahn, Head Football Coach

Jay Jacobs, Auburn Athletic Director


2.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We are not quite sure what leverage that Purdue head coach has over Purdue athletic director Morgan Burke that he is using to get another year as the head coach at Purdue with these records on the board…

Overall:  6 – 30

Big Ten:  2 – 22

…but it must be something BIG because from any direction we look at the Purdue Football program in late November 2015 it’s in WORSE shape now than it was when the last head coach at Purdue Danny Hope was fired by Morgan Burke in late November 2012.

Darrell Hazell….nice guy….but if we take over the AD position at Purdue today we tell Hazell….

“Thanks son for your hard work but we are moving on and you are no longer employed by Purdue University.”

…and then we would immediately get on a plane and fly to Missoula, Montana and hire University of Montana head football coach…

Bob Stitt


…(who in his FIRST year has his Montana team in the Second Round of the FCS Playoffs against North Dakota State this week) which would bring some OFFENSE and FUN back to West Lafayette, Indiana and the Purdue Football program but then that would….

Make Too Much Damn Common Sense

….so don’t count on that happening anytime soon at Purdue University!

How Montana Head Coach Bob Stitt’s Lethal and Fun Offense Actually Works, Ian Boyd, SB Nation

Instead with Purdue AD Morgan Burke’s MASSIVE EGO he is more interested in NOT admitting he was wrong in firing Danny Hope and hiring Darrell Hazell and like a lot of Whack Jobs ADs with MASSIVE EGOS it’s our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that…

Morgan Burke would rather the Purdue Football program go in the toilet than Burke admit he made a dreadful mistake!

That’s a Damn fine example of a “Leader” you have running the athletic department at Purdue University there President of Purdue Mitch Daniels who a few years ago was too much of a COWARD to run for President of the United States in the Republican primaries against…Mitt Romney and a bunch of LOSERS!


3.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Just when you thought that Charlie Strong’s situation at Texas couldn’t get any worse with Strong sitting on records after TWO years on the job of…

Overall:  10 – 14

Big 12:  8 – 9

…with still a game left against at Baylor things got worse over the weekend with Iowa State hiring Matt Campbell from Toledo who just made the Big 12 that much TOUGHER because now the Cyclones will be…

Scoring A Helluva Lot of Points

….as well and Texas has a defensive coach that spent most of his coaching career in the South where putting up LOTS of points wasn’t that important and the question now is…

Can Charlie Strong pivot fast enough to find a way to score MORE points before he loses his job at Texas?

The easy answer to the above question is that either Charlie Strong will figure out that he’s going to need score 40-plus points a game in Big 12 play….Texas only scored over 40 points TWICE in 2015 in Big 12 games…or Charlie Strong will be out of a job at Texas a year from now!

Consider this for a moment….TEXAS FOOTBALL…over the past THREE football seasons under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong has posted a win/loss record of…

18 – 19

….and frankly we don’t see any way in Hell that Texas wins more than 7 games in 2016 which should just thrill fans of Texas Football who it will be noted if TRUTH be told have been on a downward spiral since the below story was published in June 2010:

Pac-10 set to invite 6 from Big 12, Chip Brown,


….with the Texas Football win/loss record standing at since the above story was published at…

40 – 35

Arrogance and Hubris comes with a price and with a smile on our faces we can write….

The Pompous Arrogant Asses at Texas starting with former Texas AD DeLoss Dodds and the last Texas AD Steve Patterson have gotten just what their Idiocy deserved and have put Texas Football in a Helluva hole that may take a decade to dig out of….maybe even longer!


4.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – At the end of the 2012 college football season then Steve Addazio the head football coach at Temple had just posted a record of….

4 – 7

…and was hired by Boston College to be their head coach in the wake of the Frank Spaziani firing which was greeted with a collective…

What the Hell?

….here at Coaches Hot Seat and in THREE seasons at BC Addazio has records on the board of…..

Overall:  17 – 21

ACC:  8 – 17

….and posted records in 2015 of…

3 – 9 overall

0 – 9 in ACC play

Call us CRAZY…but in your THIRD year coaching a college football team shouldn’t your team be getting BETTER…..not a Helluva lot WORSE?

Whatever the Hell is going on at Boston College right now from our vantage point in the peanut gallery after watching BC play a few times this year we can only say….

What or Who in the Hell is coaching this team?

….and when you are asking questions like that about a college football team you can pretty much Damn guarantee the head coach of that team is on the Hot Seat and this case with Steve Addazio with Steve now sitting on a….

Roaring Hot Seat!


5.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – With the Colorado loss to Utah on Saturday Mike MacIntyre had now completed THREE years as the head football coach at CU and has records on the board of…

Overall:  10 – 27

Pac-12:  2 – 25

….which we would classify as….

Not Very Damn Good

….and in Mike MacIntyre’s FOURTH season at Colorado in 2016 we think it will be almost impossible for CU to win 6 games with out-of-conference games against Colorado State and at Michigan (along with Idaho State) and another 9 games in Pac-12 play.

Bottom-Line:  If Colorado doesn’t get to at least 6 wins in Mike MacIntyre’s FOURTH season at CU then he is DONE which as you can see is in CAPITAL letters for good reason!


6.  Les Miles, LSU – If you like EVERY sane American thought that former Louisiana Governor and US Senator Huey P. Long…a.k.a. “The Kingfish” was a Total Freak Show….


….then you MIGHT and we repeat MIGHT be able to understand the Total Freak Show that was Les Miles’ Firing and then Non-Firing at LSU in the last week that had a Helluva lot more to do with Louisiana politics than whether Les Miles has a Damn clue to what he is doing as a football coach which you can actually…

READ ALL ABOUT the Total Freak Show

…in the blog of one Scott McKay appropriately titled The Hayride which has the LOW and even LOWERDOWN on Les Miles and the Total Clown Show that is the State of Louisiana:

Notes on A. F. King Debacle, Scott McKay, The Hayride

Getting back to Les Miles and as Frank Sinatra used to say in Las Vegas….

“There ain’t no other place to go!”

…..beating a mediocre Texas A&M team that has a head coach in Kevin Sumlin that is a piece of balsa wood breaking from getting his own as fired in College Station means NOTHING unless of course you love being AVERAGE which as we have found out in the last weeks Hundreds of Thousands of LSU fans love….

Being Average!

As our fathers used to tell us all the time…

“The world needs ditch diggers son and if you want to be average Hell you can be a ditch digger.”

….and from what we can tell there are Helluva lot of ditch diggers in the state of Louisiana who rather like that Les Miles is…

10 – 10 in his last 20 SEC Conference Games against SEC teams with .500 or better records

….and if a .500 record doesn’t spell A-V-E-R-A-G-E at L-S-U then NOTHING will and thus why Les Miles will enter the 2016 college football season on one of the Hottest Seats in the country which is appropriate for ANY head coach at LSU that is sitting on a record of….

14 – 10

…in SEC Conference play in his last 3 seasons on the job….right?

Oh…that’s RIGHT this is Louisiana home of Huey P. Long, Bobby Jindal and Les Miles which is rightly called….

A Complete Freaking Clown Show!


7.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – We are BIG believers in comparing current head coaches at schools with what previous head coaches at those same school were able to accomplish especially when comparing a current head coach to what a previous fired head coach was able to do.

Case In Point:  Mark Stoops replaced Joker Phillips at Kentucky and both now have THREE years on the board to compare to each other and let’s get right to that then:

Mark Stoops – Current Kentucky Head Coach

Overall: 12 – 24

SEC: 4 – 20

Joker Phillips – Fired Kentucky Head Coach

Overall: 13 – 24

SEC: 4 – 20

Yes…that is mighty Damn consistent in being consistently Damn bad for Kentucky Football over the past SIX seasons which includes….

8 SEC Conference Wins

….in an SEC Eastern Division that has NEVER been weaker with Tennessee, Florida, and Georgia all struggling compared to their past histories and thus just when Kentucky should have been SURGING to the top of the SEC East….they are still mired in the bottom!

Coaches Hot Seat to Lexington:  We think you have a problem…NO….make that we KNOW you have a Helluva problem and seriously now…does ANYONE think that Kentucky will win SIX games under Mark Stoops in 2016 in his FOURTH year on the job having to play 8 SEC Conference Games, Louisville, and Southern Miss which might just lay an EPIC beatdown on Kentucky on September 3, 2016 in Lexington?

Here’s a Recommendation to Mark Stoops:  If you spend ONE MINUTE not working on making YOUR Kentucky Football team better over the next 9 months then what the Hell are you doing son because your coaching future is on the line….PERIOD!


8.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – After a long night celebrating the Stanford win over Notre Dame late into the night on Saturday the phone rang mighty Damn early in San Francisco on Sunday morning and when we saw the Houston area code on the Caller ID we knew who was calling and what he was calling about:

Houston A&M Alum: “Did you see that shit last night?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “You mean Notre Dame getting their Sorry Asses beat?”

Houston A&M Alum: “Funny….No Dammit that SHIT that Kevin Sumlin put on the field against an LSU team that barely showed-up to play against Arkansas and Ole Miss and is suddenly the Doomsday Freaking Defense!”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Yes….we saw the game and someone here said at the end…in Kevin Sumlin’s 51 st game as the head coach at Texas A&M at the end of his FOURTH season on the job his football team scored 7 points.”

Houston A&M Alum: “7 Freaking Points! What in God’s name are these A&M coaches doing all week? They have two of the most highly-recruited quarterbacks in the country on their roster and the Aggies scored 7 Freaking Points in the last game of the year!”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Yes…7 Points…what was it Herman Melville wrote in Moby Dick about this very subject?”

Houston A&M Alum: “Hell…I don’t know what Herman Melville wrote in Moby Dick but I bet your pretentious arrogant ass is going tell me now aren’t you?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Yes….Melville wrote in Moby Dick…“It is the easiest thing in the world for a man to look as if he had a great secret in him.”

Houston A&M Alum: “And what in the Hell does that supposed to mean?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “You gift a coach a player like Johnny Manziel and …“It is the easiest thing in the world for a man to look as if he had a great secret in him.”

Houston A&M Alum: “Amen to that…and if you take Johnny Manziel away from Sumlin at A&M he is already out of a job.”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Exactly right..but then Alabama scored 30 points against LSU, Arkansas scored 31 and Ole Miss scored 38…and the Aggies scored 7….not even Herman Melville could explain that.”

Houston A&M Alum: “Damn right and from what I am hearing there are Helluva lot of problems within this Texas A&M football team that are tearing it apart and we have a head coach making $5 Million Dollars Plus a year posting .500 records in SEC play!:

Coaches Hot Seat: “We hear you….now go get a cocktail at the club after church and we will talk on Tuesday afternoon.”

Houston A&M Alum: “Oh yea….Tuesday afternoon….talk to you then.”

Kevin Sumlin has now coached Texas A&M for FOUR seasons and has records on the board of…

Overall:  36 – 15

SEC:  17 – 15

….and in case Kevin Sumlin doesn’t know it when you are making $5 Million Dollars Plus a year there are rightfully going to be a Helluva lot of Aggies pissed-off when you have a record of…

11 – 13

….in SEC Conference play in your last THREE years on the job and a record of…

5 – 9

….in SEC play at home in Kyle Field!

Herman Melville was right….

“It is the easiest thing in the world for a man to look as if he had a great secret in him.”

…and unless Kevin Sumlin turns things around in a Helluva hurry at A&M the WHALE that is Texas A&M Football will be the end of his big-time coaching career meaning a year from now could very well be the last time the public hears Kevin Sumlin’s name until of course he is introduced at Texas State to replace Dennis Franchione!


9.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – It’s impossible for us to pull against Mike Riley here at Coaches Hot Seat and since it’s our opinion…

Iowa is a Total Fraud and has played and beaten NO ONE in 2015

….we were pulling for the Nebraska Cornhuskers on Saturday but alas…the Huskers lost…and with that loss Nebraska posted a record of…

5 – 7

….on the 2015 season and in Mike Riley’s 15 seasons as a Head Coach at Oregon State and Nebraska that was the…

7 th time Riley has posted a LOSING record

…..and to understand how low of depths Nebraska Football have sunk there are people in Lincoln, Nebraska PRAYING that enough teams don’t get to 6 wins so the 5 – 7 Huskers can go to a bowl game!

Leaving aside the Complete Idiocy that even 6 – 6 teams are going to bowl games how Damn PITIFUL is it that folks around the Nebraska Football program are hoping and rooting against teams to win another game to get to 6 wins so the Huskers can go to a bowl game?

Memo to Nebraska Fans:  As the Great William Shakespeare wrote in The Tempest….

“What’s Past is the Prologue”

….and for those Huskers fans not slow on the up-take they already understand completely what they have now and what is coming and if not a quick visit to Mike Riley’s Wikipedia page will be education enough:

Mike Riley, Wikipedia


10.  Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – With the loss to Georgia on Saturday consider that since Georgia Tech won the ACC in 2009 the Yellow Jackets under Paul Johnson have posted 5 or MORE LOSSES in…

5 of the last 6 Seasons

…..and have posted 6 or MORE LOSSES in…

4 of the last 6 Seasons

…which to us points to an Unhealthy Football Program under Paul Johnson….in our humble opinion of course…which is caused by…

Paul Johnson’s Personal Arrogance

….towards ANYTHING that does not serve to promote Paul Johnson which is our humble opinion of course.

We asked one of the wives of a Coaches Hot Seat member who used to work in the field of psychology before leaving work to raise her children over a decade ago to watch some clips we had put together of Paul Johnson coaching over the past few years at Georgia Tech and at Navy and give us her raw opinion on what she saw in Paul Johnson and below is her assessment which is of course her opinion:

“Interestingly the Paul Johnson I saw at Georgia Tech is a lot different than when he was at Navy. At Navy Johnson looked confident borderline cocky on the sideline but pretty healthy overall mental-wise….at Georgia Tech he looks arrogant, pissed-off a lot of the time, much more unsure of himself and his team, less trusting of his players…even confused at what he is watching at times but overarching all of that is what looks like a deep-seated narcissism that is creating lots of tension among his players, coaches and football team. That’s what I see in this Paul Johnson character.”

What is Narcissism you ask?

“A pattern of traits and behaviors which signify infatuation and obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance and ambition.”

Yep…that’s what we see in Paul Johnson as well and in case Paul Johnson doesn’t know it you CANNOT be a successful head football coach and be a Raging Narcissist….just ask Lane Kiffin who is of the BIGGEST Pompous Arrogant Asses to ever coach a down of football in America and who we wouldn’t hire to coach a Pee Wee football team because who in the Hell wants a Pompous Arrogant Ass around kids of any age?

There really is only ONE way out for Paul Johnson if he has any hope to turn around the Georgia Tech Football program now because the stuff that he and we were raised on in the 1970s just…

Flat-Out Does Not Work Anymore

….with today’s kids and either Paul Johnson will change with the times which we have seen EVERY successful head coach in college football do in recent years to at least some extent OR Paul Johnson will be out of his job at Georgia Tech a year from now….if not sooner.

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