If you don’t think time flies this is the NINTH college football season that Coaches Hot Seat will be…what exactly?
Throwing out our opinions from the peanut gallery on the job status of college and now NFL head coaches and generally being the all-around “Shit-Disturbers” that our wives love so much?
Yep…that’s about it and to think this entire Coaches Hot Seat “thing” started with seven guys sitting around a table in the bar the Balboa Café in the Marina section of San Francisco in the Fall of 2006 talking about how in the Hell they were going to get Walt Harris’ sorry ass fired as the head coach of the Stanford football team!
Hell, let’s end this trip down memory lane and get to the subject at hand which is what College Football Head Coaches are on the Hot Seat at the end of Week 1 of the 2015 College Football season! Geez…that felt very Damn good to type that out and with the memories of Week 1 dancing in the heads of Coaches Hot Seat members and college football fans everywhere let’s bring the Late Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling!
Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!
Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking
1. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – No doubt…Purdue played very hard against a very good Marshall team on Sunday…BUT…is anyone going to argue that a coach in his third season coaching a Big Ten Conference football team…
Darrell Hazell – Purdue
…should lose to a Conference USA team even if that CUSA team is very well coached and a Top 50 team in the country?
NO….no one should argue that it was OK that Purdue lost to Marshall on Sunday with a head coach in his third year on the job and thus that is why Darrell Hazell now sits on the…
No. 1 Hot Seat!
Up next for Hazell and Purdue…
…and then Virginia Tech at home which is a game that in our opinion Purdue can and should win and in a few weeks and thus the Purdue Boilermakers should be….
2 – 1
….when they host Bowling Green on September 26.
Keep coaching these kids up Darrell!
2. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Really Kevin Wilson? Really?
In Kevin Wilson’s FIFTH season as the head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers football team IU was only able to beat FCB Southern Illinois at home by a score of…
48 – 47
….and that is a Southern Illinois team that put up a record of…
6 – 6
Really Kevin Wilson?
Here’s the bad news for Kevin Wilson and Indiana…the rest of the Hoosiers non-conference slate after the close win over the Salukis:
FIU – Which just beat UCF
Western Kentucky – Which just beat Vanderbilt
At Wake Forest – Which isn’t that good BUT is sure the Hell better than Southern Illinois!
YES…Kevin Wilson’s head coaching career should be flashing before his eyes right now because it’s on the verge of extinction if the past continues into the future in Bloomington!
YES….we would heartedly recommend your Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday Kevin Wilson!
3. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – The good news is that Iowa State beat Northern Iowa by a score of 38 – 7 on Saturday and the bad news is that means about as much as…
A Pinto Bean rolling across the heartland of America right now!
…which means the 2015 college football season actually begins for Paul Rhoads and Iowa State this coming Saturday in their home game against the Iowa Hawkeyes!
With both head coaches in Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz coming into this game on the Hot Seat the Winning Coach will…
Have the HEAT turned down a bit
..and the Losing Coach can be assured…
His ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!
Anyone else ever seen a prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland?
It isn’t a pretty sight at all and thus why we recommend to BOTH Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz they BOTH win this game which when one thinks about it pretty much assures that either Rhoads or Ferentz’s…
Ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!
….come next Monday morning!
Oh…Paul Rhoads record against Iowa in six seasons at Iowa State is…
2 – 4
…which is a winning percentage of .333% which is not all that different than Rhoads overall winning percentage coaching the Cyclones which now sit at .395%!
4. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Score from Saturday’s game:
Florida – 61
NMSU – 13
Doug Martin’s record at New Mexico State:
4 – 21
Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!
Enough said on New Mexico State!
5. Mike London, Virginia – In the South when Southerners are really feeling sorry for your ass but in reality they really don’t give a Damn about your predicament they will say something like….
“Well, just bless your heart.”
We are not going to say…
“Well, just bless your heart.”
…to Virginia head coach Mike London after his Cavaliers got blasted 34 – 16 by UCLA on Saturday because we truly would like to see Mike London succeed at UVA but then how can anyone look at the following records for Mike and not put London’s ass on the Hot Seat?
Overall: 23 – 29
ACC: 11 – 29
If the above continues in 2015 and thus can keep someone employed at the University of Virginia we will be applying to UVA soon for a job because you evidently can fail like a Sorry Son of a Bitch and make Millions of Dollars a year at the school that Thomas Jefferson founded!
Oh..up next for Virginia….
Notre Dame at home!
“Well, just bless Mike London’s heart,” Notre Dame fans around America are now saying in unison!
6. Trent Miles, Georgia State – Score from Saturday’s game:
Charlotte – 23
Georgia State – 20
Trent Miles record at Georgia State:
1 – 24
Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!
Enough said on Georgia State!
7. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Southern Miss played a decent game against Mississippi State for about a half BUT we nor anyone else with a working brain gave Todd Monken and his Golden Eagles much of a chance to beat the Bulldogs which means there is yet another loss on the board and that leave Monken’s records in his third season on the job in Hattiesburg at…
Overall: 4 – 21
Conference: 2 – 14
YES…Larry Fedora did win 12 games in the 2011 season at Southern Miss and now over the last three seasons plus Southern Miss has won….
4 Football Games!
Shocking…just Damn Shocking!
8. Charlie Strong, Texas – It’s one thing in your second year on the job at Texas to take your football team to South Bend, Indiana and lose to Notre Dame.
There is no shame in losing to Notre Dame after all BUT in Charlie Strong’s second year on the job at Texas Strong took his Longhorns to South Bend and lost…
38 – 3
….in a performance where…
The Texas Offense did not exist
The Texas Defense did not exist
The Texas Special Teams barely existed
…which makes us wonder here at Coaches Hot Seat:
Just what in the Hell has Charlie Strong and his football coaches been doing since the end of the 2014 football season?
The answer to that question is evidently NOTHING AT ALL!
On top of that Texas has a QB that would be lucky to run SIXTH string on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag-Football team who from where we sit has NO DAMN ABILITY to lead anyone to do anything which really makes us wonder what exactly is going on at Texas right now because it may be the case that…
Charlie Strong and the Texas assistant football coaches…
Don’t Have A Freaking Clue!
Now at 0 – 1 here is what Texas has left on the schedule in 2015:
At Iowa State
At West Virginia
Hell…there is a REAL chance that Texas….YES Texas…IF the Longhorns play like they did against Notre Dame will…
NOT win another football game in 2015!
Memo to Charlie Strong: If your Texas football team loses to Rice and California and you then lose to Oklahoma State, TCU and Oklahoma you will be fired before the Iowa State game so here’s a thought for you Charlie…
We would recommend your football team actually show-up against a Rice team that checking the Owls roster does not have ONE player on their team that Texas recruited!
YES…this Saturday’s game against Rice at home in Austin is the BIGGEST game of Charlie Strong’s coaching career because with a loss in this spot to the Owls it will only be a matter of WHEN and not IF Charlie Strong will be fired in Austin so we would recommend someone on the Texas coaching staff get the attention of the Texas football players before Saturday!
9. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and Miami did what they had to do in Week 1 and beat Bethune-Cookman by a score of 45 – 0 and now the 2015 college football season begins for Al Golden and Miami with a trip to play FAU in Boca Raton in a game that Al Golden and Miami…
Lose to FAU with Nebraska and a game at Cincinnati left on the non-conference schedule before starting ACC play at Florida State and Al Golden will be in a Helluva HOT spot for the rest of the 2015 college football season!
10. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – In a home game against Western Kentucky that Derek Mason and Vanderbilt HAD TO WIN the Commodores lost to WKU and now Derek Mason is really in a Helluva spot with Georgia coming to Nashville this Saturday. We will say that Vanderbilt looked better on defense and better on offense against Western Kentucky than in the 2014 season BUT the margin for error is very small for Derek Mason and he will probably need 4 or maybe 5 wins to return for the 2016 season and with that let’s take a look at what Vanderbilt has left on the schedule in 2015:
At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Geez….can Derek Mason and Vanderbilt really find four or maybe five wins playing the above remaining games?
We would be STUNNED if Vanderbilt wins four or five games in 2015 is our answer to that question!
11 – 30 Post Week 1 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!