Monthly Archive: September 2015

 

“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”

Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan performing Deacon Blues!

1.  Al Golden, Miami vs. Cincinnati – Below are the win/loss records and winning percentages of the Miami head football coaches before Al Golden starting with Howard Schnellenberger in 1979:

Howard Schnellenberger:  41 – 16  (.719)

Jimmy Johnson:  52 – 9  (.852)

Dennis Erickson:  63 – 9  (.875)

Butch Davis:  51 – 20  (.718)

Larry Coker:  60 – 15  (.800)

Randy Shannon:  28 – 22  (.560)

Al Golden:  31 – 22  (.585)

Clearly…make that Very Damn Clearly….Randy Shannon and Al Golden have not lived up to the expectations….our and the fans of Miami football’s expectations…and either Al Golden in his FIFTH season as the head coach of the Canes will start winning a lot more football games in 2015 or Miami will be looking for another head coach come December.

Clearly…make that Very Damn Clearly the Cincinnati game on Thursday night is a CANNOT LOSE Game for Al Golden and Miami.

2.  Nick Saban, Alabama vs. Georgia – Although it’s our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that the end of the Alabama football dynasty will be recorded in history as the moment the “Kick 6” return happened in the 2013 Alabama – Auburn game on the night of November 30, 2013 which ended Nick Saban and Bama’s attempt to win…

3 Straight Bogus BCS National Championships

….but it’s ultimately up to Nick Saban and his Alabama football team to prove us and others wrong on the end of this particular era of winning BIG Alabama football which has seen several great runs by legendary football coaches like the one Saban has put together in Tuscaloosa since 2007.

With the loss to Ole Miss already in the books in 2015 Alabama cannot afford another loss and then expect the Rebels to lose 3 games in the SEC in so Saturday’s game at Georgia is MASSIVE for Alabama football and Nick Saban who with a loss in this spot will find himself coaching out of the National Title hunt at Alabama for the first time during the regular season since….his first year at Alabama in 2007.

English historian Edward Gibbon recorded in his book The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire written some 1400 years after the Roman Empire disappeared from the Earth that the once mighty Roman power fell because quoting from the Wikipedia entry on Gibbon’s book (The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Wikipedia):

“According to Gibbon, the Roman Empire succumbed to barbarian invasions in large part due to the gradual loss of civic virtue among its citizens. They had become weak, outsourcing their duty to defend their empire to barbarian mercenaries, who then became so numerous and ingrained that they were able to take over the Empire. Romans, he believed, had become effeminate, unwilling to live a tougher, “manly” military lifestyle. In addition, Gibbon argued that Christianity created a belief that a better life existed after death, which fostered an indifference to the present among Roman citizens, thus sapping their desire to sacrifice for a larger purpose. He also believed that Christianity’s comparative pacifism tended to hamper the traditional Roman martial spirit. Finally, like other Enlightenment thinkers and British citizens of the age steeped in institutional anti-Catholicism, Gibbon held in contempt the Middle Ages as a priest-ridden, superstitious Dark Age. It was not until his own era, the “Age of Reason,” with its emphasis on rational thought, it was believed, that human history could resume its progress.”

…but the Alabama football dynasty under Nick Saban may have well been felled by two fluke plays from the 2013 college football season….

The miracle tipped-pass that let Auburn beat Georgia

The insane Kick-6 which let Auburn slip past Alabama

Year 476 is the year that Edward Gibbon marks as the year the Roman Empire ended

Year 2013 is the year that the Nick Saban dynasty at Alabama was felled with the 2015 Georgia game just another marker in the decline of the Saban dynasty only this time a loss to Georgia in this spot will neatly bookend the Nick Saban run at Alabama between two precise dates:

September 27, 2008: Alabama whips Georgia in Athens 41 – 30

October 3, 2013: Georgia whips Alabama in Athens by the score of “?”

It was a nice run Nick….but it’s over son and you need to get the Fat Boy in Memphis to find you another mountain to climb because your ass is sliding down the Alabama mountain in a Helluva hurry!

A sidenote to the end of the Nick Saban dynasty at Alabama:  The Kick-6 debacle against Auburn was only made that much worse by bringing Dumbass Lane “Narcissus” Kiffin to Tuscaloosa which was akin to Caesar letting the Barbarians into Rome which of course hastened the end of the Roman Empire!

See history can be mighty Damn entertaining!

3.  Mark Richt, Georgia vs. Alabama – On the other side of the ledger sits Mark Richt and his Georgia Bulldogs who have not won a SEC Conference title since….

2005

….and frankly have been a very mediocre football program in recent years with Mark Richt losing…

4 or More Games

….in 4 of the last 6 seasons with often a key loss coming at the exact wrong time like the…

Complete Cowardly Breakdown of Mark Richt and the Georgia Bulldogs against the Hapless Florida Gators in Jacksonville last season!

Now here come the Mighty Alabama Crimson Tide to Athens presenting Mark Richt with a unique opportunity in American life…

A Third Chance to Right Two Wrongs or rather Two Losses

….to Alabama that still must sting Mark Richt to the core which are the…

2008 Whipping that Alabama put on Georgia in Athens

2012 SEC Conference Championship Game that Georgia should have won…if only…Mark Richt would have had the common sense to take a timeout!

So what will it be for Mark Richt and the Georgia Bulldogs against Alabama in 2015?

Are the Georgia Bulldogs COWARDS with a COWARD as a head coach that don’t have the Courage or the Guts to beat an Alabama team that just got manhandled by an Ole Miss team with less talent than Bama in Tuscaloosa no less?

OR

Is Mark Richt and his Georgia Bulldogs MAN ENOUGH to stand-up like REAL MEN and beat Alabama and end all of us using Mark Richt and his football team as a punchline….

“Hell, if you think the USA Ryder Cup teams are a bunch of chokers….don’t forget Mark Richt and the Georgia Bulldogs who have mastered the art of choking in the last decade!”

We can just see the title of Mark Richt’s biography:

How I Choked Away Several SEC Conference Titles Coaching the Georgia Bulldogs While Making Millions and Millions of Dollars in the Process

Subtitle: “Oh…and I was owned Lock, Stock and Barrel by Nick Saban!”

Our humble suggestion to folks stupid enough to bet on college football:

Take Alabama and the points because clearly…

Mark Richt and Georgia aren’t MAN ENOUGH to beat Alabama!

4.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State vs. Auburn – A lot of people here at Coaches Hot Seat thought that Ron Caragher was going to do some great work at San Jose State and follow-up on the nice coaching job that now Colorado head coach Mike MacIntyre did with the Spartans BUT after a 6 – 6 record his first season Caragher has posted a win/loss record the last two seasons of….

5 – 11

…and although way off the national CFB radar Ron Caragher comes into Auburn game on Saturday on one of the Hottest Seats in the country only behind….you got it…..

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. San Jose State – The San Jose State game is just a Very Damn Clear situation for Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn:

Lose to a San Jose State team on your home field in Auburn and Gus Malzahn’s coaching career with the Tigers is effectively over because there will be no recovery short of winning the SEC Western Division in 2015 from a loss to the Spartans that have lost 11 of their last 16 games

Let’s just be honest…if Auburn cannot beat San Jose State on Saturday then they have ONE win left on their schedule….

At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

…against Idaho on November 21 which may in the end be ironic because Idaho may just be where Gus Malzahn will be coaching in 2016 because there is…

Not A Chance in Hell

….that Gus Malzahn will be retained as the head coach at Auburn if he opens the 2015 season as a heavy favorite to win the SEC and be in the 4-Team Playoff and ends up with a record of…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 SEC

….which as everyone knows are the exact records that got Gene Chizik’s ass fired after the 2012 season at Auburn!

Good Luck Gus and if you lose to San Jose State you will have no one to blame but yourself!

6.  David Shaw, Stanford vs. Arizona – We always laugh when people on the outside say there isn’t any pressure to win at Stanford when the TRUTH is…

Stanford University is the toughest pressure cooker on the planet university-wise right now with competition being the order of the day in every corner of The Farm

…which extends right to the Stanford athletic department which places an emphasis on winning…

Pac-12 Championships

AND

National Championships

…something that we note that Stanford football has not done on the Pac-12 Championship side of things since 2013 which in our books is way too Damn long ago! Hell, that was two years ago now if Stanford doesn’t win the Pac-12 Title in 2015 and the last time that Stanford won the National Championship in football was…..

1940 after Stanford beat Nebraska in the Rose Bowl!

…and that is a Freaking Outrage!

Arizona is coming to The Farm on Saturday after getting blasted by UCLA and if the Stanford Cardinal is going to be a player in the Pac-12 Title run this season….and why the Hell wouldn’t they be since we are talking about Stanford….then they need to protect their home field and whip Arizona just like the Bruins did and besides…

David Shaw CANNOT LOSE this game because his ass will be right back on the Hot Seat and who the Hell wants that….

Certainly not us at Coaches Hot Seat

…so play like Men Possessed AGAIN Stanford Boys!

7.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Tennessee – Let’s just be honest here…

Bret Bielema has done NOTHING at Arkansas in the last 3 seasons

…that any random stumble-bum off the streets of Fayetteville couldn’t have done with the same amount of talent and resources at his disposal and believe it folks when you have these kinds of records on the board…

Overall:  11 – 18

SEC:  2 – 15

….there are many here at Coaches Hot Seat that believe if AD Jeff Long had hired a stumble-bum off the streets of Fayetteville not only would he have posted better records than Bielema the stumble-bum would have been able to find a razor to shave his Damn face before football games something that Bret Bielema was for Damn sure not able to accomplish before the Texas A&M game last Saturday!

In an age full of boring people Shakespeare would have reveled in Bret Bielema and no doubt the bard would have spun up a nice tale about Bielema’s big mouth and how that big mouth got his big ass in a Helluva spot which will be in…

A Helluva Hot Spot

…if Arkansas loses to this stumbling, bumbling Tennessee team in Knoxville on Saturday!

Tennessee is not so much a CANNOT LOSE game for Bret Bielema as it is a game that with a loss will just be another…

Step towards West Texas where Big Mouth will be shoveling shit with….

8.  Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Arkansas – If you think Bret Bielema is in a Helluva tough spot right now then consider Butch Jones who is the laughingstock of the American Republic right now after the Complete Meltdown of the Vols in the second-half against the Gators last Saturday which included the inability of Jones to do basic math which is especially not a good thing when you are working on a college campus but then now….we are talking about the…

University of Tennessee

…here which somehow granted a diploma to Paul Finebaum which is a marker to us that just about any Random Moron can show up in Knoxville and leave with sheepskin!

Seriously now folks the TRUTH about this Arkansas – Tennessee game for Butch Jones is that…

He Just Flat-Out CANNOT LOSE It

…but let your mind wander for a moment and consider IF…

Butch Jones loses to Arkansas in a situation caused by…Butch Jones…in the fourth quarter!

Clearly…another one of those “situations” against Arkansas and Butch Jones coaching career will effectively be over in Knoxville so our recommendation to Butch Jones on Saturday is to do what we tell our kids to do when they tell us they are going to be nervous playing in a sporting event:

“Play aggressive because when you play aggressive you don’t have time to worry about messing up!”

Play aggressive against Arkansas Butch Jones and go for the kill if you have the chance because the last Damn thing you need is another game coming down to the fourth quarter AND…..

9.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Middle Tennessee – Talk about a football coach that CANNOT LOSE on Saturday that is Vandy head coach Derek Mason to INFINITY because after looking like a decent football team in 2015 there is just no room at the inn for Derek Mason’s football team to go to Murfreesboro and lose to a Middle Tennessee team that NO DAMN SEC team has any Damn business losing to!

Good Luck Derek Mason against Middle Tennessee! We will be watching the game from The Farm and pulling for you hoping you can finally get your ass off the Hot Seat!

10.  Randy Edsall, Maryland vs. Michigan – Randy Edsall has got himself and his Maryland football team in a Helluva spot now opening the season with a record of 2 – 2 with these games still to be played:

Michigan
At Ohio State
Penn State
At Iowa
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Indiana
At Rutgers

Damn….Maryland will be LUCKY to win 6 games in 2015 which means it looks like Randy Edsall’s ass will be on FIRE the rest of the season!

11.  Mark Helfrich, Oregon vs. Colorado – We talked to a long-time Oregon alum friend of ours that lives in the Portland area to get the inside scoop on the state of Oregon Ducks football right now and what he said even surprised us here at Coaches Hot Seat and we aren’t surprised very often anymore but we sure the Hell were surprised when we heard this:

Coaches Hot Seat: “So what’s up with Oregon football?”

Long-Time Oregon Alum-Friend: “I will tell you what’s up. If Oregon implodes or even struggles to get to a bowl game this season Mark Helfrich is done and the entire Oregon coaching staff is done also. There is a feeling that things have gotten stale in Eugene and that there are way too many people both in the football operation and athletic department that have been around too long and gotten too Damn lazy and it may just be time for department wide cleaning to get things right again with Ducks football.”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Damn!”

Long-Time Oregon Alum Friend: “That Utah game was a wake-up call for a lot of people that I have not seen this mad since 2004 when the Ducks went 5 – 6 and I will be Damned if we are going back to those days of losing to Oregon State and Washington so that a few people can sit on their asses in Eugene and do next to nothing while making hundreds of thousands of Dollars a year!”

Memo to Oregon head coach Mark Helfrich: Don’t lose to Colorado Mark….PERIOD.

So maybe the Nike SHOUT video was the Peak of Oregon Ducks football!

12.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina vs. Missouri – Now at 2 – 2 on the season take a look at the rest of South Carolina’s schedule in 2015 and you tell us how many wins that Steve Spurrier and his football team gets in 2015:

At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Geez…South Carolina could end up with a record of…

4 – 8

…easy in 2015 and anyone that thinks Steve Spurrier can return to coach South Carolina in 2016 after posting a record of 4 – 8 in 2015 is either…

Out of Their Freaking Mind OR A Communist

….and last time we checked there weren’t a Helluva lot of Communists running around the Great State of South Carolina!

YES….Missouri is a CANNOT LOSE game for Steve Spurrier as are ALL of the games left on the South Carolina schedule!

Have fun Ole’ Ball Coach!

13.  Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Illinois – We will be honest here…there were many times in the last few years when Mike Riley should have been on the Hot Seat as the head coach at Oregon State and we collectively voted to keep Riley off the Hot Seat because Mike is such a nice guy and he played college football for one of our favorite coaches in Paul “Bear” Bryant at Alabama. With that in mind we do hope that Nebraska beats Illinois on Saturday so we can take Mike Riley’s ugly mug off the frontpage of the Coaches Hot Seat website and off the Hot Seat BUT if Nebraska loses to Illinois when the Huskers have No Damn Reason to be losing to his average Illini team…

Then Mike Riley’s ass will only get hotter!

Coach ‘em up Mike Riley!

14.  Willie Taggart, South Florida vs. Memphis – This one is very simple for us here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Get Off Your Ass and get Your South Florida football team off their asses Willie Taggart and beat Memphis on Saturday!

15.  George O’Leary, UCF vs. Tulane – Geez…this one is very simple also…

If UCF loses to Tulane after already losing to FIU and Furman

…..someone should fire George O’Leary at the airport in New Orleans forget about waiting to fire him at the airport in Orlando!

16.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane vs. UCF – It’s time Curtis Johnson to show us what he and his Tulane football team has going for it starting with BEATING the UCF Knights in New Orleans on Saturday especially if you want to get your ass of the Hot Seat!

UCF is Pitiful and there is No Damn Reason why Tulane shouldn’t whip UCF’s ass!

17.  Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech vs. Pitt – We just checked and Frank Beamer has not had a losing season at Virginia Tech since 1992 BUT if the Hokies keep playing the way they have played so far in 2015 they might just find themselves at home during bowl season which more than likely would be the end of Frank Beamer in Blacksburg….because MEDIOCRITY cannot be tolerated in Blacksburg….right?

Here’s what Virginia Tech has left to play this season with a record of 2 – 2 right now:

Pitt
NC State
At Miami
Duke
At Boston College
At Georgia Tech
North Carolina
At Virginia

Damn….this Pitt game is a CANNOT LOSE Game for Damn sure!

18.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Kansas – In a season when Paul Rhoads and Iowa State are going to have a hard time finding many wins at all the Cyclones clearly CANNOT LOSE to Pitiful Kansas team on Saturday at home which no doubt with a loss would end Paul Rhoads already slim chance of returning to coach Iowa State in 2016.

With a game at Texas Tech on deck…you Better Damn Beat Kansas Paul Rhoads!

19.  Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. West Virginia – After beating basically NOTHING in 2015 with wins over Akron, Tennessee and Tulsa Bob Stoops is crowing around Norman like he has won another National Championship to which we say….

Good for Bob to have something to crow about after the last few seasons of MEDIOCRITY

…..but now can Crazy Boy Dana Holgorsen bring his West Virginia team to Norman and shut-up Bob Stoops for the duration of the 2015 season?

Hell..what if Oklahoma got whipped by West Virginia and Texas got whipped by TCU heading into the Red River Shootout in Dallas which no doubt would leave both Bob Stoops and Charlie Strong rolling into Big D on donkeys and empty saddle bags as our Texas buddies like to say?

You might be able to find the Texas – Oklahoma game on ESPN3 if that happened!

20.  Charlie Strong, Texas vs. TCU – Texas is now 1 – 3 on the season and they play TCU on Saturday with the game against Oklahoma in Dallas on deck…

Do you think TCU is a CANNOT LOSE Game for Charlie Strong?

Hell…if Texas loses to TCU….and then Oklahoma…do you think that game against Kansas State in Austin on October 24 would be BIG?

Last season TCU beat Texas 48 – 10 in Austin which is a good marker to see where the Texas football program stands against TCU a year later so we are guessing anything better than a 38 point loss against TCU will be a “win” for Texas and their fans…right? RIGHT!

21.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue vs. Michigan State – If you can’t beat Bowling Green at home there is little Damn chance you can beat Michigan State on the road so this would be one of those….

CANNOT LOSE Games for Purdue head coach Darrell Hazell

…that is in reality…

A CANNOT LOSE too Damn bad for Purdue head coach Darrell Hazell!

22.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Wisconsin – Kirk Ferentz has Iowa off to a 4 – 0 start in 2015 against four pretty pedestrian teams in Illinois State, Iowa State, Pitt and North Texas and the question is now can the Hawkeyes keep the winning going in a game at Wisconsin on Saturday?

Our gut tell us NO but then this Wisconsin team is a loss to Iowa away from putting their head coach Paul Chryst on the Hot Seat so maybe the Hawkeyes can win this CANNOT LOSE Game in Madison!

23.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville vs. NC State – Talk about a potential disaster ahead….take a look at Louisville’s remaining games now sitting at 1 – 3 on the season:

At NC State
At Florida State
Boston College
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Virginia
At Pitt
At Kentucky

Geez….if Louisville drops to 1 – 4 with a loss to NC State we don’t see any way in Hell that the Cardinals wins 6 games in 2015 barring a….MIRACLE….and is anyone else thinking that Bobby Petrino is not first person in line to be getting MIRACLES handed to him on this Earth?

24.  Ron Turner, FIU vs. UMass – An interesting question being bantered around here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Can Ron Turner post three straight losing seasons in three years on the job at Florida International and keep his job?

Most of us say NOT….but a few people here think that it doesn’t matter how many wins Ron Turner posts because football just isn’t that Damn important at FIU!

Either way….FIU plays at UMass on Saturday in what would be a CANNOT LOSE Game if we were the AD at FIU!

25.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming vs. Appalachian State – Geez….we really hope that Craig Bohl and his Wyoming football team can get a win after traveling across most of the country to play Appalachian State on Saturday but we aren’t holding our breath….although beating Appalachian State on the road would be good spot for Craig Bohl to get things rolling with the Cowboys!

Good Luck Craig Bohl!

26.  Trent Miles, Georgia State vs. Liberty – Talk about another CANNOT LOSE Game there is No Damn Way that Trent Miles and Georgia State can lose to Liberty at home although Liberty we have heard is a pretty decent football team under head coach Turner Gill!

27.  Chuck Martin, Miami (OH) vs. Kent State – It’s time for Chuck Martin to start winning some football games at Miami (OH) and beating a Kent State team with a head coach on the Hot Seat is a good place to start in this CANNOT LOSE Game!

28.  Paul Haynes, Kent State vs. Miami (OH) – It’s time for Paul Haynes to start winning some football games at Kent State and beating a Miami (OH) team with a head coach on the Hot Seat is a good place to start in this CANNOT LOSE Game!

29.  Paul Petrino, Idaho vs. Arkansas State – We are now getting to the point with Paul Petrino at Idaho where games aren’t so much CANNOT LOSE as they are…

Wouldn’t It Be Great If Idaho Won A Football Game

….not that we give the Vandals any chance at all to travel down to Arkansas State and win this football game.

30.  Todd Berry, La. Monroe, Georgia Southern – With losses to Georgia and Alabama in 2015 the one thing that Todd Berry and his football team needs is some wins starting with a win over a very tough Georgia Southern team that is a CANNOT LOSE Game for Berry especially with a game at Tulsa on deck.

31.  Dan McCarney, North Texas vs. Southern Miss – Since Dan McCarney was at Iowa State we have always pulled for Dan McCarney’s football teams and we will be pulling for McCarney to get a win on Saturday at Southern Miss against an improving Golden Eagles football team. With Portland State up next a win against USM and North Texas could get two straight wins before a tough game against Western Kentucky on October 15.

32.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss. vs. North Texas – To our eyes Southern Miss football is poised to turn a corner and become a force again in Conference USA…BUT…this is a spot where Todd Monken and his football team CANNOT LOSE to a struggling North Texas team which would be nothing less than a setback for….

Todd Monken and Southern Miss

….and be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Don’t lose this CANNOT LOSE Game Todd Monken which with a win would get your ass off the Hot Seat!

33.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State vs. New Mexico – Doug Martin and his New Mexico State Aggies need a win in the worst way and there is nothing sweeter than beating your cross-state rival especially when your cross-state rival are those Arrogant Asses from the Big City in the New Mexico Lobos!

We aren’t holding our breath on NMSU winning this one though!

34.  Bob Davie, New Mexico vs. New Mexico State – Talk about a CANNOT LOSE Game after beating Wyoming in Week 4 the one Damn thing that Bob Davie and his New Mexico football team CANNOT do this week is lose to New Mexico State which would put Davie and the Lobos in a Helluva spot with a game at Nevada in Week 6.

35.  Norm Chow, Hawaii vs. Boise State – Not that we think Norm Chow and his Hawaii Warriors have any Damn chance to beat Boise State in Boise on Saturday but it would be GREAT if they did!

Coach ‘Em Up Norm!

It’s Never A Pleasant Sight To See Grown Man Crying….But Give These Head Coaches on the Hot Seat Hell Anyway Johnny Cash!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

11.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – The New Mexico State Lobos had a bye in Week 4 but nothing has changed in the Hot Seat world of Doug Martin who now sits on a win/loss record at NMSU of…

Overall:  4 – 23

….and a record of 0 – 3 in 2015 with these games still left to be played:

At New Mexico
At Ole Miss
At Georgia Southern
Troy
Idaho
At Texas State
At La Lafayette
Arkansas State
At La. Monroe

Damn….what will New Mexico State win…1…maybe 2 games in 2015?

No…these are not good times for NMSU Lobos football!

12.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – Here’s the problem for USF head coach Willie Taggart:

After coaching 27 games at South Florida his record now stands at…

7 – 20

….and the man that got run out of Tampa as the last head coach at South Florida…Skip Holtz….had a record after 27 games at USF of…

15 – 12

…and in case anyone was wondering when your running record as a head coach is worse than the coach that got fired your ass is rightfully on the Hot Seat!

It’s past time for Willie Taggart to start winning some football games at South Florida starting with the home against a very hot Memphis team on Friday night.

We say it again…get off your ass already Willie Taggart!

13.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – With the Idaho loss to Georgia Southern by the score of 44 – 20 and Paul Petrino’s win/loss record with the Vandals falling to…

3 – 24

…it really is only a matter of time before there is new head football coach leading the Vandals meaning probably in December unless of course Paul Petrino can turn things around this season which is still a possibility….right?

Uhh….Not Very Damn Likely!

Up next for Idaho….at Arkansas State!

Good Luck with that Paul Petrino!

14.  Trent Miles, Georgia State – No doubt….Georgia State is a very tough head coaching job but it is our firm belief here at Coaches Hot Seat that a great football coach can win…

ANYWHERE

….and when you are the athletic director at a place like Georgia State you just can’t hire an average coach and expect that average coach to excel in a tough job like the one at Georgia State…..PERIOD.

Case in Point:  Trent Miles came to Georgia State after coaching FIVE seasons at Indiana State where he posted an overall win/loss record of…

20 – 36!

Sorry….the head football coach at Georgia State MUST BE a head coach that has won BIG on what will probably be a level lower than FBS football and in case the folks at Georgia State don’t know it there are dozens of very Damn successful coaches on the FCS, Division II, and lower division football levels that would walk from where they are at now to be the head football coach at Georgia State!

Below is Trent Miles win/loss record in his third season at Georgia State:

2 – 25

Thus why Trent Miles is on the Hot Seat and if the folks at Georgia State make a coaching change later this year and they need a dozen names of very Damn successful football coaches that would LOVE to have a shot at the Georgia State job just email us at info@coacheshotseat.com for that list!

Up next for Georgia State….Liberty!

Hell, even Liberty could be another loss for Trent Miles! Ooops…should have written “Heck, even Liberty could be another loss for Trent Miles” in order to not offend the good folks at Liberty!

15.  Norm Chow, Hawaii – Believe it or not the last Hawaii head coach Greg McMackin never won fewer than 6 games playing the Warriors 13 game regular season schedules and it really was only in the 2007 – 2008 season that June Jones had Hawaii playing in the Sugar Bowl against Hawaii but now…

Likable Norm Chow is now in his FOURTH season at Hawaii and has posted an overall record of…

10 – 31

….not even sniffing a postseason bowl game and thus you now understand how far Hawaii football has fallen and in case you were wondering we don’t see it getting any better anytime soon.

With the loss to Wisconsin the Warriors are now at 2 – 2 on the season and play at Boise State on Saturday which means Hawaii is about to be 2 – 3 on the season!

16.  Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner is in his third season as the head football coach at Florida International and has posted records of…

Overall:  7 – 21

CUSA:  4 – 13

…and if anyone sees things getting better for FIU football in the near future please stand-up so we can…

See You and Identify You as a Complete Moron!

Up next for FIU….

At UMass

…which we have to think will be 2 – 3 for FIU in 2015!

17.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken’s Southern Miss football team played a decent game against Nebraska on Saturday before losing by the score of 36 – 28 which leaves USM’s record at 2 – 2 on the season with these games left to be played:

North Texas
At Marshall
Texas San Antonio
At Charlotte
UTEP
At Rice
Old Dominion
At La. Tech

We are going to go out on a limb here and predict that Southern Miss will win…

EIGHT Games in 2015

….which will be a nice turnaround for Todd Monken’s and get his ugly mug off the frontpage of Coaches Hot Seat!

18.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming – The Magical Mystery Tour of Craig Bohl at Wyoming continues with the Cowboys losing to New Mexico on Saturday which dropped Wyoming’s record in 2015 to 0 – 4 and makes us think that…

If you can’t beat New Mexico at home

…how in the Hell are you even going to win ONE game in 2015 with these games remaining to be played?

At Appalachian State
At Air Force
Nevada
At Boise State
At Utah State
Colorado State
At San Diego State
UNLV

Well Hell…Wyoming might and we say might beat UNLV in that last game of the season but the reality is the Cowboys in Craig Bohl’s second season are looking at…

One…Maybe Two Wins

….which makes us wonder again:

What in the Hell were you thinking Craig Bohl taking the Wyoming job?

19.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt could have easily beaten Ole Miss in Oxford on Saturday and even with the Rebels coming off their big win over Alabama and probably suffering a letdown we were very impressed with how the gutsy Commodores played and as they say in the South….

There is life in the old dog yet that is Vanderbilt football!

Here’s the problem…Vandy is now at 1 – 3 on the season and they have these games remaining on their schedule:

At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

Hell…that is a tough schedule for Vandy…BUT…if Vandy plays like they did against Ole Miss against Middle Tennessee, South Carolina, Missouri, Kentucky and Tennessee they will win at least…

3 or 4 more games

….and 3 or 4 more wins in 2015 and Derek Mason has something to build on for 2016 BUT Derek Mason…

Vanderbilt MUST BEAT Middle Tennessee on Saturday….PERIOD!

20.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – South Carolina beating UCF on Saturday was like….South Carolina beating Furman since Furman has already beaten UCF in 2015 and as everyone in the great state of South Carolina knows…

South Carolina beating Furman is No Damn Big Whoop!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season and with some life in the South Carolina offense now Steve Spurrier takes his football team to Columbia, Missouri to play what looks like a…

Falling to pieces Mizzou football team

….which it seems will be Damn lucky to win SIX football games in 2015 and with that reality there is no Damn reason why South Carolina doesn’t beat Missouri on Saturday especially if they score 21 points because this woeful Mizzou offense will be lucky to get 10 points on the board even against the weak Gamecocks defense!

Of course now…should South Carolina lose to this very Damn average Missouri team….

Someone in Columbia, South Carolina should get the gold watch ready for Steve Spurrier because he will be needing it come December as he walks out the door!

Good Luck against Missouri Ole’ Ball Coach!

21.  Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – Let’s take a quick look at the win/loss records that Frank Beamer has posted the last four seasons at Virginia Tech:

2012:  7 – 6
2013:  8 – 5
2014:  7 – 6
2015:  2 – 1

Overall:  24 – 18 (.571)

Very simply…that is MEDIOCRE football that Frank Beamer’s Hokies have been playing last few seasons and if MEDIOCRE is OK for the folks in Blacksburg then that is OK with us but then now….

That is where the 1 st Amendment to the US Constitution comes in

…and we here at Coaches Hot Seat see no Damn reason why Virginia Tech fans should accept MEDIOCRITY in their football program but then maybe that is just us!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season after the loss to East Carolina on Saturday the Hokies have left to play on their schedule these games:

Pitt
NC State
At Miami
Duke
At Boston College
At Georgia Tech
North Carolina
At Virginia

How many games might Virginia Tech win in 2015 realizing they are basically about even with East Carolina?

Hell….we are having a hard time seeing Virginia Tech winning 6 games in 2015 but then we have been wrong many times before so it will be up to Frank Beamer and his football team to get Frank Beamer’s future College Football Hall of Fame ass off the Hot Seat!

Coach ‘em up Coach Beamer!

22.  Al Golden, Miami – There is full agreement here at Coaches Hot Seat that if we were a head coach on the FBS football level we sure the Hell would want to be at a place where the…

Expectations for Winning Football Games and Championships was HIGH

….and Miami is that kind of place and thus that is why Al Golden in his FIFTH season coaching the Hurricanes is squarely on the Hot Seat with the following records up on the board:

Overall:  31 – 22

ACC:  16 – 16

Hell….with the above records at Miami Al Golden is lucky his ass hasn’t already been run out of South Florida and barring “9 maybe 10 wins” in 2015 Al Golden’s ass will be run out of South Florida and that will mean the somewhat ill-conceived Straight-Arrow Al Golden being hired at Miami will have failed as we assumed it would from Day One!

Still though…Miami is 3 – 0 on the season and they have a Thursday night game against Cincinnati which his HUGE because a loss in this spot by Miami to a team that just lost to Memphis will be another body blow to Al Golden just as the Hurricanes enter ACC play on October 10 at Florida State.

Before the Seminoles though the Hurricanes MUST BEAT the Bearcats!

23.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Tulane had a bye in Week 4 and if EVER Curtis Johnson is going to get Green Wave football rolling it will be in Week 5 with the Hapless UCF Knights coming to town who have already lost to…

FIU and Freaking Furman!

Curtis Johnson in his FOURTH season at Tulane with ONE winning season on the board really needs to post a .500-plus record in 2015 and now at 1 – 2 a win over UCF would be a good start with then these games remaining to be played:

Temple
At Houston
At Navy
At Memphis
UConn
At Army
At SMU
Tulsa

Hell, Curtis Johnson you better Damn beat UCF because we don’t see an easy game left on the Tulane schedule after the Knights!

24.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – The general consensus here at Coaches Hot Seat is that Mike Riley is not even going to match Bo Pelini’s somewhat average records at Nebraska over seven seasons which were….

Overall:  66 – 27

Conference:  39 – 17

…which included at least NINE wins in every season which again is a record that we don’t think Mike Riley will match at Nebraska and here’s to hoping that Mike Riley does exceed Bo Pelini’s mark and get his ass of the Hot Seat!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season after the win over Southern Miss the Huskers have left to play….

At Illinois
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Northwestern
At Purdue
Michigan State
At Rutgers
Iowa

….with this Saturday’s game at Illinois which has a head coach in his first year in that position with the Illini in Bill Cubit and a program coming out of a total chaotic situation is a MUST WIN game with Wisconsin, Minnesota and Northwestern on deck.

This is going to be Damn fascinating to see what Mike Riley is able to do at Nebraska in the next few years starting with this game at Illinois on Saturday.

Good Luck Mike!

25.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Kent State has been playing some good football the last two weeks with close losses to Minnesota and Marshall and now we are going to see if head coach Paul Haynes can keep things rolling as the Golden Flashes enter MAC Conference play on Saturday against a struggling Miami (OH) team which is very simply a MUST WIN Game for Paul Haynes and his football team with a game at Toledo in Week 6.

Below is why Paul Haynes is now on the Hot Seat…his records…

Overall:  7 – 20

MAC:  4 – 11

…and the only way to get off the Hot Seat is…

Start Winning Some Football Games!

26.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – Louisville beating FCS Cupcake Samford on Saturday doesn’t mean very much to anyone with the Cardinals now sitting on a record of 1 – 3 with a HUGE game on the road against NC State on Saturday which will play a big role in determining if Louisville is even able to get to a bowl game this season. With a loss to NC State with these games still be played…

At Florida State
Boston College
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Virginia
At Pitt
At Kentucky

….it would put Bobby Petrino and Louisville in a Helluva spot and headed towards a season-ending showdown in Lexington which has all the marks of Kentucky destroying Louisville and leaving the Cardinals at home during bowl season.

YES….NC State is a MUST WIN Game for Bobby Petrino and Louisville!

27.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State – A little known fact about San Jose State football is that Jack Elway father of John Elway was the head coach of the Spartans for FIVE seasons in the early 1980s before taking over the Stanford head coaching job between 1984 and 1988….

…and another interesting factoid about Jack Elway was his offensive coordinator at San Jose State who was none other than Dennis Erickson who was running the spread offense long before most people in the world of football knew what the “spread offense” was all about. Below is a section from Jack Elway’s Wikipedia page:

“After three seasons at Northridge, Jack Elway moved up the California coast (and up to Division I) to San Jose State following the 1978 season, where his first offensive coordinator was Dennis Erickson. They employed the spread offense, which Elway had picked up from his son’s high school coach, and then used at Northridge. San Jose State had considerable success, especially against Stanford, where son John was the starting quarterback through the 1982 season. Jack Elway’s Spartans won three consecutive games over Stanford from 1981 to 1983, and he compiled an overall record of 35–20–1 (.634) in five seasons.”

In our opinion it was Dennis Erickson who building upon what he did at San Jose State ran the first true “spread offense” on the FBS level first at San Jose State and then at Washington State and then later at Miami which you can see some of in the below highlights video from the 1994 FSU – Miami game which has a very young Chris Fowler introducing the game at the top!

Getting back to Ron Caragher and San Jose State we here at Coaches Hot Seat have some personal connections to the SJSU football program and thus we expect a Helluva lot more than the records that Caragher had put up to this point in Ron’s third season on the job…

Overall:  11 – 17

MWC:  8 – 10

…and thus we fully expect San Jose State to roll into Auburn on Saturday and whip this struggling Auburn Tigers team….well….not really…..but then we would not be surprised if San Jose State beat Auburn on Saturday which in effect would end Gus Malzahn’s coaching career at Auburn so we would recommend that Gus Malzahn have his Auburn football team ready to play in the….

FIFTH Game of the Freaking Season!

Our expectations for San Jose State and head coach Ron Caragher in 2015 are…

6 Wins Minimum

….so coach your football team up Ron or expect to be on the Hot Seat for the duration!

28.  Dan McCarney, North Texas – Dan McCarney got off to a great start at North Texas winning NINE games in year one including the Heart of Dallas bowl but in the last two seasons McCarney has posted records of…

2014:  4 – 8
2015:  0 – 3

…which equals 4 – 11 and thus why Dan McCarney is now on the Hot Seat!

Can Dan McCarney get his Mean Green off the mat and get a win at Southern Miss on Saturday?

We sure the Hell hope so which means…

Get Your Damn North Texas team coached up Dan!

29.  Chuck Martin, Miami (OH) – Chuck Martin won a Helluva lot of football games and championships at Grand Valley State….

Overall Record: 74 – 7

Two NCAA Division II National Championships

….before joining the Notre Dame staff for four seasons and then taking the Miami (OH) job in 2014 where Martin has posted records of…

Overall:  3 – 13

MAC:  2 – 6

Sorry Chuck Martin….those records don’t feed the Bulldog or the Chihuahua and Martin better Damn start winning some football games or his ass is also going to be on the Hot Seat for the duration and a good place to start would be a win at Kent State on Saturday!

30.  Todd Berry, La. Monroe – Todd Berry did a decent job in his first FOUR seasons at La. Monroe but in the last two seasons the Warhawks have stumbled and posted records of…

2014:  4 – 8
2015:  1 – 2

….and thus that is why Todd Berry now finds his ass on the Hot Seat with these games still left to be played in 2015:

Georgia Southern
At Tulsa
Appalachian State
At Idaho
At La. Lafayette
At Troy
Arkansas State
At Texas State
At Hawaii
New Mexico State

Damn….La. Monroe has….

SIX Away Games left on their schedule

….and if Todd Berry is able to get to 7 wins playing 13 games in 2015 that will be a Helluva accomplishment after starting 1 – 2!

 

Before we get to the Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis after watching several college football teams go through….

Total and Complete Meltdowns on Saturday

….we thought this might be good spot for some…

College Head Football Coaching 101

…with the subject of this posting titled:

Remember Well Your Position Head Coaches for the World…and More Importantly….Your Team is Watching

A few decades ago now which seems like a Helluva lot time ago….because it is….a few Coaches Hot Seat members were watching the tape of football game with a legendary football coach and in this game one of the head coaches was acting like what charitably would be called a Complete Freaking Idiot on the sidelines which the legendary football coach after watching for awhile reacted to by saying:

“Doesn’t that F-ing Jackass know his football team is watching him act like that?”

What the Hell does above have to do what we here at Coaches Hot Seat saw over the weekend in college football and what does it have to do with a few college football teams and often their coaches going into a…

Total and Complete Meltdown on Saturday?

First…let’s get Reality #1 on the table which it seems that some head coaches….even in 2015….still don’t understand even though these coaches must see themselves on TV all the time:

Reality #1 – Head Football Coaches are being watched by the television cameras and thus millions of viewers, by the fans in the stands, and by lots of other people in modern day football BUT nothing has changed in the last 100-plus years of football in America in that head coaches are also watched by two other groups ALL THE TIME during appearances, practices and especially during games and those two other groups are:

Their Assistant Coaches

Their Players

It should be self-evident why it is vital for head football coaches to know…especially on the college level…that their own personal behavior, demeanor, and attitude is vitally important in the overall success of their football team because it’s the head coach that the assistant coaches and players on the team look to and look at when things get tight in games and just as sure as day follows night….

A Loose Coach will have a Loose Football Team

A Tight Coach will have a Tight Football Team

A Confident Coach will have a Confident Football Team

A Nervous Coach will have a Nervous Football Team

An Anxious Coach will have an Anxious Football Team

….and we could go on but we believe you get the drift and hopefully already what we are driving at in this blog post.

Case in Point and what a Damn Case in Point it is:  Butch Jones in two BIG games in 2015 coaching the Tennessee Vols against Oklahoma and Florida has appeared to be…

Very Nervous and Very Uptight on the sidelines

….to both Coaches Hot Seat members sitting in the stands and watching on TV and in both of those games as it got to crunch time guess what happened?

The Tennessee Players Played Very Nervous and Uptight

Does Butch Jones not understand in his NINTH season as a head coach that his…

Nervous and Uptight Behavior on the sidelines

….is directly impacting his Tennessee football team and has in our opinion led to the Vols playing uptight in 2015 as well in 2014 in some tight and critical football games?

Evidently not and we are guessing that Butch Jones needs a little lesson on life here that he somehow missed along the way and what better way to teach that lesson than do what that legendary coach did a few decades ago now by leaving the room where we were watching the tape of that football game and then coming back a few minutes later with a Xerox copy (Yes, from a Xerox copy machine!) of a speech by Ralph Waldo Emerson with the below passage marked-up with his comments in the margin. Below is a portion of what Ralph Waldo Emerson said in the speech not the legendary coach’s comments written in the margin which were fascinating as well! (Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecture on Courage, November 1859, Boston, MA):

“The general must stimulate the mind of his soldiers to the perception that they are men, and the enemy is no more. Knowledge, yes; for the danger of dangers is illusion. The eye is easily daunted; and the drums, flags, shining helmets, beard and moustache of the soldier have conquered you long before his sword or bayonet reaches you.”

Tennessee fans surely understand how the above quote from a speech by Ralph Waldo Emerson delivered in 1859 applies to the Vols losses to both Oklahoma and Florida this season which were both games that Tennessee COULD HAVE and SHOULD HAVE WON and it is our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that it was Butch Jones’ negative behavior and to some extent Tennessee’s very conservative offensive play-calling that led to both of those losses which has put the Vols behind the 8-ball and Butch Jones’ ass on the Hot Seat!

We would laugh at anyone that watched Butch Jones especially in the second-halves of the Oklahoma and Tennessee games to challenge our assertion that Butch Jones’ behavior, demeanor and attitude didn’t have a dramatic negative effect on his football team and directly led to the Vols tossing away two football games in 2015.

For some reason a quote from the Late Great Coach Bill Walsh seems important in this spot:

“Providing confidence to your team is perhaps the most powerful lever you can pull to help them optimize their performance.”

Is there anyone with a working brain on the Earth that was either at or watched the Tennessee vs. Florida and/or Oklahoma vs. Tennessee games that watched Butch Jones closely that believes that Jones came anywhere close to doing the below for his coaches and players when both of those games got tight in the second half?

“Providing confidence to your team is perhaps the most powerful lever you can pull to help them optimize their performance.”

The answer to the above question is not only…

NO…BUT HELL NO!

The Bottom-Line on Butch Jones and lots of other head coaches in college football that we will not call out in this spot but may very well in the future:

Butch Jones got nervous, got tight, acted out-of-control at times on the sideline during the Oklahoma and Florida games and there is not a doubt in our minds that Jones’ behavior, demeanor and attitude on the sideline had a negative effect on his football team which helped to lead to both of those losses.

We will also say in this spot that a head coach acting like a Total Ass on the sideline which is usually caused by an underlying nervousness and fear….

“Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.” Yoda – George Lucas, The Phantom Menace, Episode 1

….of what could be a negative outcome of a football game is by far the worst emotion that a head coach can send to his football team in a tight football game and we will also say that coaching from “fear” in a head football coach is usually a “learned trait” picked-up by other coaches that the head coach worked for and/or with in the past. Just check Butch Jones’ Wikipedia page to see who he worked for in the past and it should be easy to put the “Learned Fear = Learned Fear = Lots of Fear” equation together which leads to acting like a Total Ass on the sidelines during football games especially in tight situations when the head coach should be….

“Providing confidence to your team is perhaps the most powerful lever you can pull to help them optimize their performance.”

We could go on for a quite awhile on this subject of the proper behavior of head football coaches on the sideline to get the most out of their assistant coaches, players and thus football team including a story about a change of command on an US Navy ship during Desert Storm in the Persian Gulf in 1991 that would be Helluva example of how one man can change things towards a positive direction overnight with different behavior and a more confident approach but alas we write way the Hell too much here at Coaches Hot Seat already!

Let’s hope the above insight was imparted to Butch Jones in the “Bark On” manner it was delivered and move onto the….

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches Analysis

No Head Coach Likes To Imagine His Precious Ass Getting Fired…But Give These Head Coaches on the Hot Seat Anyway Johnny Cash!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – In a season when Iowa State head coach Paul Rhoads really needs to get the Cyclones to a .500-plus record and bowl game opening with a record of…

1 – 2

…which includes a loss to Toledo of the MAC Conference really puts Rhoads behind the 8-ball because if you can’t beat Toledo can anyone find 5 more wins out of the remaining 9 games on the ISU schedule?

Kansas
At Texas Tech
TCU
At Baylor
Texas
At Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
At West Virginia

Geez…the Big 12 Conference has become a very tough place to hang out these days especially with TCU, Baylor and now Texas Tech scoring points like crazy and being very tough games to win which leaves Oklahoma, Texas and Oklahoma state as pretty much always tough games to win and the two Kansas schools with only Kansas being a true doormat team in the conference.

Our guess….Iowa State wins something like 3….maybe 4 games in 2015 and there is NO way in Hell Paul Rhoads returns to coach the Cyclones in 2016 without winning 6 games or coming very Damn close to winning 6 games.

It really is too bad that Wyoming head coach Craig Bohl is no longer at North Dakota State still winning FCS championships but instead coaching the Cowboys and on the Hot Seat because Iowa State is the EXACT kind of FBS program he could win big at…..but Craig Bohl was either getting some bad advice or acted without talking to someone who had a clue because Wyoming is a graveyard for very good coaches and if you don’t believe that just ask former Wyoming head coach Joe Glenn who also saw his head coaching career flame out in Laramie! Oh, Joe Glenn who won a FCS National Championship at Montana is now the head coach at South Dakota? Yes, that’s right and his record at South Dakota in four seasons at the school is 9 – 29! More on Craig Bohl’s Hot Seat status in a bit….

2.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – With Purdue’s loss to Bowling Green on Saturday we don’t know where the Boilermakers’ season and football program is going now with Purdue’s record dropping to….

1 – 3

…on the season and head coach Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records at Purdue now standing at….

Overall:  5 – 23

Big Ten:  1 – 15

…but we do know that the right coach whoever that “right coach” actually is can win at Purdue and to prove that we only have to write the name….Joe Tiller….who in 12 seasons coaching the Boilermakers posted records of…

Overall:  87 – 62

Big Ten:  53 – 43

Ten .500 or better seasons and thus Ten bowl game trips

…so please don’t cry us a river that Darrell Hazell hasn’t had a chance to win at Purdue because Joe Tiller took over a Boilermakers team coming off SIX straight losing seasons and won NINE games in season one and NINE games in season two! By the way Joe Tiller is one coach that did make it out of Wyoming alive taking the Purdue job after FOUR straight .500 or better records with the Cowboys!

Getting back to Darrell Hazell’s whose Purdue football team is 1 – 3 on the season the Boilermakers still have to play….

At Michigan State
Minnesota
At Wisconsin
Nebraska
Illinois
At Northwestern
At Iowa
Indiana

Frankly, we would be stunned if Purdue won 3 more games in 2015 and Hazell has to win more than 4 games in 2015 to return to coach the Boilermakers in 2016?

One would think so.

3.  Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team got destroyed on Friday night by Boise State by the score of 56 – 14 and that drops the Cavs record to 1 – 3 with still eight ACC Conference games to play which you can see is no bed or roses for UVA:

At Pitt
Syracuse
At North Carolina
Georgia Tech
At Miami
At Louisville
Duke
Virginia Tech

If Virginia plays like they did against Boise State they will not win another game this season….PERIOD.

If Virginia plays like they did against Notre Dame…they might win four or five more games this season and save Mike London’s job…but then that’s up to Mike London coaching HIS football team up…right?

RIGHT!

Coach Like Hell Mike!

4.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – As one of our Arkansas buddies put it early on Sunday morning from his hotel room in Dallas after attending the Texas A&M – Arkansas game at the Jerry Dome in Arlington on Saturday:

“Arkansas had no Damn business losing to the Aggies that did almost everything possible to lose that football game except not making any stupid decisions on the field or sideline at the end of the game.”

Amen….and Case In Damn Point!

Below is the play-by-play of the Arkansas drive in overtime which started with a 5 year penalty and thus 1 st and fifteen at the A&M 30-yard line with Texas A&M already on the board in overtime with a touchdown:

1st and 15 at Texas A&M 30
Alex Collins run for 6 yds to the Texas A&M 24

2nd and 9 at Texas A&M 24
Brandon Allen pass complete to JoJo Robinson for 5 yds to the Texas A&M 19

3rd and 4 at Texas A&M 19
Brandon Allen pass incomplete to Jeremy Sprinkle

4th and 4 at Texas A&M 19
Brandon Allen pass incomplete to Drew Morgan

So let’s get this straight:

Supposed Tough Guy Bret Bielema who got tough growing up on a Hog Farm needs his football team to score a touchdown to get into a second overtime and thus has four downs to use with his team averaging 5.5 yards per rush and has the following situation…

3rd and 4 at Texas A&M 19

….has his quarterback throw two passes…both incomplete….to lose a game that Arkansas had no Damn business losing to the Aggies?

Sorry…but if you give us the ball in the situation of….

3rd and 4 at Texas A&M 19

….we are going to give the football to running back Alex Collins….averaged 5.8 yards per rush against A&M…and we are going to stuff the Damn football down the throats of the Aggies!

No doubt Brandon Allen threw the ball well against Texas A&M completing 20 of 25 passes but there is NO DAMN REASON for Brandon Allen to be throwing the football 25 times and our Arkansas buddy summed up the current situation at Arkansas with another quote from his somber hotel room in Dallas on Sunday morning:

“Hell, if Arkansas hadn’t thrown one pass in 2015 we would be 4 – 0 right now.”

Amen to that Arkansas brother but instead the Razorbacks with their new “balanced” offensive approach which would probably work well at many schools but has been nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster in Hog-Land

….are now sitting at…

1 – 3

…with their only win over UTEP which struggled like Hell for awhile to put away Incarnate Word on Saturday!

Put yourself in Bret Bielema’s shoes right now….in your third season at Arkansas you are sitting on win/loss records of…

Overall:  11 – 18

SEC:  2 – 15

…and you are 1 – 3 this season with these games still left to be played:

At Tennessee
At Alabama
Auburn
UT Martin
At Ole Miss
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

How many more games will Arkansas wins in 2015?

3…maybe 4 more games tops?

Our Arkansas buddy also said something else from his hotel room early on Sunday morning which should scare the Hell out of Bret Bielema and the man that brought Bielema to Fayetteville Arkansas AD Jeff Long:

“Hell, in Bobby Petrino’s third season at Arkansas he won 10 games and took us to the Sugar Bowl and in his fourth season Petrino won 11 games and we went to the Cotton Bowl and Big Mouth (Bielema) is going to post a losing record in his third season and think he is going to keep his job? F _ _ _ that! What the Hell are they doing with all our Damn money up there in Fayetteville anyway? Paying coaches millions of dollars so they can live like Roman emperors who can’t even post .500 or better seasons? That Shit for Damn sure cannot be tolerated!”

Next up for Big Mouth Bielema is a Pissed-Off Tennessee team in Knoxville and then potentially a Very Damn Pissed-Off Alabama team the next week which could be coming off a loss to Georgia!

Good Luck to you Big Mouth who evidently is living like a Roman Emperor in Fayetteville (Guessing Bielema must have moved into a new and BIG house but we don’t know that for a fact) only with a .379 winning percentage! Hell, Roman Emperors with something akin to a .379 winning percentage often found themselves stabbed in the back so watch out for all those Brutuses up there in Fayetteville Big Mouth!

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At halftime of the Mississippi State – Auburn game a Coaches Hot Seat member on the way to the kitchen to get another Fat Tire beer said what many of us were thinking…

“What in the Hell has happened to Auburn? This looks nothing like the Auburn team that went to the National Title game two seasons ago and not even like the Auburn team that almost beat Alabama and Wisconsin at the end of last season!”

Geez…we don’t know what the Hell has happened to Auburn but for Damn sure something beyond not having a sterling QB and a shaky defense is the problem or set of problems here but then this Auburn football team looks so…

Off The Rails

So Different Than Malzahn’s Teams in the Past

….that we can only conclude that “something” has fundamentally changed at Auburn and we don’t have a Freaking Clue what that “something” is and believe us…we have tried to find out by talking to some folks we know around Auburn…who report nothing has changed…or they are flat-out lying to us which may be a possibility.

Hell, in 2012 when Gene Chizik was posting a record of 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play only two seasons removed from going undefeated and winning the Bogus BCS National Championship Game the same folks in Auburn were telling us there were no problems on The Plains and we later learned there were lots of internal issues going on with Chizik’s Auburn football program…in our humble opinion…that led to Chizik’s ass getting run out of town…and those same folks may be lying to us again and this time we are calling them out on it in this blog and let’s see if they change their tune in the coming days because in our opinion…

Something is NOT right at Auburn

….because watching Auburn play this season it’s obvious to anyone with a working brain that…

Something is NOT right at Auburn

We have a guess on what is NOT right at Auburn right now but an attorney friend says we cannot write what we believe in this blog without proof so we will just leave our opinion out there that….

Something is NOT right at Auburn

Up next for Auburn a home game against San Jose State who also has a coach on the Hot Seat in Ron Caragher and whose football team just scored 49 points on Fresno State.

Hell, if San Jose State scores 28 points on Auburn it will beat the Tigers!

Oh, after San Jose State the Tigers still have to play….

At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

Geez…there is a REAL chance that the two season records that Gene Chizik posted at Auburn after winning the national title…

8 – 5
3 – 9 – No SEC Wins

…will be the two identical records that Gus Malzahn posts at Auburn after taking his team to the national title game:

8 – 5
2 – 2 – 0 – 2 in SEC play

Will Gus Malzahn be fired if he goes 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play in 2015?

YES Gus Malzahn will be fired…but give some thought to the above two similarities and why history may be repeating itself in Auburn….YES…give that some Damn thought.

6.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Consider this for a moment to understand how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown took the Horns to the Bogus BCS National Championship Game in the 2009 – 2010 season:

Texas Big 12 Conference record 2011 to Current

23 – 22!

At Texas!

For all the talk about bad penalty calls, missed extra points, bobbled snaps on punts, etc. the TRUTH is that we are talking about the football program at the…

University of Texas

….and with the amount of football talent in state of Texas there is just No Damn Excuse for football games to come down to…

Bad Penalty Calls

Missed Extra Points

Bobbled Snaps on Punts

Etc.

…..but arguing over the above is where the Texas football program is right now which we shy away from calling…

Mediocre

…because to call Texas Football Mediocre right now would be an insult to all the Mediocre folks in the state of Texas and around the world!

Where does Texas football go from here after dropping to 1 – 3 after the loss to Oklahoma State which drops Charlie Strong’s records at Texas to this…

Overall:  7 – 10

Big 12:  5 – 5

…in Strong’s second season at the school?

We don’t have a clue but with these games still to be played….

At TCU
Oklahoma
Kansas State
At Iowa State
Kansas
At West Virginia
Texas Tech
At Baylor

….in our opinion there is a better than 50 – 50 chance that Texas DOES NOT WIN 6 games in 2015 and the last three Texas head coaches that posted a losing season without a National Title trophy in the UT athletic building…

Fred Akers, David McWilliams and John Mackovic

….were ALL three fired at the end of that losing season and no matter what “people in the know” in Austin say if Texas gets boat-raced by West Virginia, Texas Tech and Baylor to end the 2015 season which ends up being a losing season all bets are off on the future of Charlie Strong and Texas football come December.

We here at Coaches Hot Seat still believe in Charlie Strong and will believe in the man even if he gets fired at Texas but what we believe here at Coaches Hot Seat means about as much as a fly on the ass of a cow in a West Texas pasture!

How about a song about a town about 70 miles west of Austin, Texas sung by the Great Waylon Jennings to cheer up the good folks in the Lone Star State which is a song that a LOT of these Million Dollar College Football Head Coaches could learn a Helluva lot from! Listen closely to the lyrics of Luckenbach, Texas Hot Seat Head Coaches!

Luckenbach, Texas

7.  George O’Leary, UCF – With the loss to a very average South Carolina team on Saturday which dropped UCF’s record in 2015 to…

0 – 4

…there is a Very Damn Good Chance that the Knights finish the 2015 season without a win because what George “When the Hell are they going to make that announcement about me being the permanent UCF AD?” O’Leary and his UCF football team still have on the schedule is NOT easy!

At Tulane
UConn
At Temple
Houston
At Cincinnati
At Tulsa
East Carolina
USF

YES….it REALLY was in 2013 that UCF went 12 – 1 and won the Fiesta Bowl and YES UCF has already this season lost to FIU and Furman!

Here’s a thought for George O’Leary: How about this week you show up at practice and…

Coach Up Your Damn Football Team

…because if UCF loses to a pitiful Tulane team in New Orleans….George O’Leary in our opinion should be fired before the plane returns to Orlando!

8.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – See the above post…

Remember Well Your Position Head Coaches for the World…and More Importantly Your Team is Watching

….for a summary of what we believe has gone wrong for Tennessee in their two losses this season and with the loss to Florida the Vols are now sitting at..

2 – 2

…on the year and still have to play the below games and things don’t get any easier in Knoxville in the coming weeks:

Arkansas
Georgia
At Alabama
At Kentucky
South Carolina
North Texas
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

How many games can Tennessee win in 2015?

Well, Tennessee should be 4 – 0 right now BUT at 2 – 2 and with the above games still to be played the Vols have plenty of talent to win…

8 Games in 2015

….and anything less than 8 Wins in 2015 and Butch Jones’ ass will be on the Hot Seat for the duration!

9.  Mark Helfrich, Oregon – A few Coaches Hot Seat members stayed at the house they rented north of Eugene for this past weekend so they could attend the Utah – Oregon game on Saturday evening and let’s just go ahead and say it after the Utes destroyed the Ducks by the score of…

62 – 20

…if the losing continues especially the way Oregon has played this season giving up a Helluva lot of points in EVERY game then head coach Mark Helfrich is going to be in a Helluva hot spot come December.

In our opinion at Coaches Hot Seat Oregon football is an unique program in major college football today because unlike any other program in the country the Ducks are dominated by one person and one company that overshadow the entire football operation in Eugene and that one person and one company is…

Phil Knight and Nike

…and in case anyone hasn’t checked lately Phil Knight is 77 years old and has poured Millions and Millions of Dollars of money into the Oregon football program and how many National Championships have the Ducks won?

That would be….ZERO!

Are we saying that it’s our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that because Phil Knight is not exactly a young man at 77 years old and that Oregon winning a National Championship SOON is thus important may have a factor in Mark Helfrich getting his ass run out of Eugene if the Ducks football program falls to pieces in 2015?

Yes…that is our opinion.

How much influence does Phil Knight and Nike have over the Oregon football program?

In our opinion it is ABSOLUTE influence now which for the most part is a GOOD thing when the Ducks are winning but if the Ducks start falling to pieces which we may have seen the first act of on Saturday against Utah then that ABSOLUTE influence will in our opinion be an ABSOLUTE nightmare for Mark Helfrich and others in Eugene.

Mark Helfrich and Oregon are now at 2 – 2 on the season and still have these games to play:

At Colorado
Washington State
At Washington
At Arizona State
California
At Stanford
USC
Oregon State

Could the mighty Oregon Ducks possibly lose 6 or more games in 2015?

YES…if they played like they did against Utah and if Oregon loses more than 6 games…and maybe even 6 games…then there is NO doubt in our minds that Mark Helfrich will be fired in December and that firing will be loud and clear kind of like a…

SHOUT!

10.  Randy Edsall, Maryland – Randy Edsall got his ass off the Hot Seat in 2014 by posting a second straight 7 – 5 regular season record BUT we would like to welcome Maryland head coach Randy Edsall’s ass back to the Hot Seat after a…

2 – 2

…start to the 2015 season and a season that doesn’t get any easier for Edsall and his Terps with these games still on the slate:

Michigan
At Ohio State
Penn State
At Iowa
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Indiana
At Rutgers

Geez….could Maryland finish with a sub-.500 record in 2015?

YES…and that would put Randy Edsall’s coaching future in jeopardy in College Park in case anyone was wondering!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Head Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!

 

“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”

Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan performing Deacon Blues!

1.  Mike London, Virginia vs. Boise State – The Virginia football non-conference schedule from Hell ends on Friday night with a game against Boise State after games against UCLA and Notre Dame (and CUPCAKE William & Mary which wasn’t that Damn easy of a game for the Cavs) and barring another great performance more than likely Virginia will enter ACC play at Pitt on October 10 at 1 – 3 and fighting for their lives and head coach Mike London on one of the Hottest Seats in America.

Can Mike London’s Cavs find a way to beat a very good Boise State on Friday night?

Make that Mike London’s Cavs CANNOT LOSE to Boise State at home on Friday night!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford vs. Oregon State – Even with the win over an USC football team that looked very wobbly against Stanford the Cardinal football team is still for the most part an unknown that has seen David Shaw post a record of….

10 – 7 in his last 17 games at Stanford

6 – 4 in his last 10 Pac-12 games at Stanford

…which makes Friday night’s game against Oregon State in Corvallis a mystery for sure especially when you calculate in new Beavers head coach Gary Andersen who should make OSU a more competitive team than they were under Mike Riley especially during Riley’s last few years on the job where Mediocrity with a Capital M was the dominant theme of the program.

The word that we here at Coaches Hot Seat are getting is that Stanford is a very motivated football team right now and the players are determined to build on the momentum that they got in the win over the Trojans BUT if for some reason the Cardinal should stumble and fall to 2 – 2 on the season after a loss to Oregon State which does have a first-year head coach then Stanford David Shaw will be right back on the Hot Seat so for Damn sure….

Play like men possessed Stanford boys!

3.  Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Southern Miss – We were talking on the phone this past week to one of our long-time Nebraska friends who we first met over 20 years ago at a Berkshire-Hathaway annual shareholders meeting in Omaha and as a HUGE Nebraska alum and booster he had naturally looked into Mike Riley’s tenure at Oregon State and relative to Riley he asked the following of us:

“Did you guys know that in Mike Riley’s last 50 games at Oregon State his win/loss record was 24 – 26?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Yes, of course we knew that and during most of that time Mike Riley was on the Hot Seat.”

Nebraska Friend: “I have asked a lot of people here in Nebraska a question I cannot get a good answer to and that question is: “How in the Heck can you get the Nebraska job when at your last school in your last 50 games you posted a record of 24 – 26?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “We have some news for you….no one will be able to answer that question with an answer that makes any Damn sense!”

Nebraska: “Let’s hope Mike Riley understands that if he posts a losing record in 2015 with the amount of talent that Bo Pelini left on the Huskers roster Riley will be back on Oregon permanently before Christmas along with anyone else that was responsible for hiring him!”

Damn!

Nebraska is now at 1 – 2 and still has these games to play:

Southern Miss
At Illinois
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Northwestern
At Purdue
Michigan State
At Rutgers
Iowa

Can Mike Riley and his Nebraska team win at least 5 of their remaining 9 games to avoid Riley spending Christmas back in Oregon permanently?

Golly Gee Whiz….we don’t know about that so here’s to hoping Mike Riley hasn’t sold his house in Corvallis yet!

4.  George O’Leary, UCF vs. South Carolina – Why is it that words of Jed Clampett come to mind when considering the current state of UCF football under George “I want to be the permanent AD at UCF “ O’Leary with those words being….

“Pitiful….Just Pitiful!”

Because those words fit the current state of UCF football under George “Anyone heard yet if I have been named the permanent AD at UCF yet” O’Leary!

Luckily for UCF and George “I just love the idea of being the permanent AD at UCF because I won’t have to work all these long hours that the football coach has to” O’Leary they play a team this week in South Carolina that is almost as Damn pitiful as the Knights!

Still…no way that the Ole’ Ball Coach and the Gamecocks lose to this Pitiful UCF team….right?

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

5.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina vs. UCF – For a lucky group of Coaches Hot Seat members our fathers started taking us to The Masters golf tournament in the 1970s before we were even in junior high school and it was there that we fell in love with the Augusta National Golf Club and everything else that makes up the greatest golf tournament in the world and in our opinion the very best thing about The Masters is its co-founder…

The Great Bobby Jones

….who is still in our minds one of the greatest golfers who ever lived and who did something that would be Completely Damn Unheard today.

Bobby Jones retired from the game of golf ON TOP of the game!

In 1930 playing as an amateur golfer Bobby Jones won the so-called “Grand Slam” of that age in the game of golf which included wins in the following major golf tournaments…

British Amateur
Open Championship (British Open to Americans)
US Open
US Amateur

…and after that amazing accomplishment which included a career of winning 13 major championships overall and 7 wins in the US and British Opens Bobby Jones retired from golf at the ripe old age of 28 and of course went on to great success including the founding of the Augusta National Golf Club and The Masters golf tournament.

What does Bobby Jones have to do with Steve Spurrier exactly?

The TRUTH is it’s just no Damn fun watching one of your heroes failing at the very thing that made him a hero which in this case is…

Stephen Orr Spurrier coaching the game of football

…but that is exactly what is happening right now at South Carolina and barring a major miracle turnaround the 2015 season is going to be a Complete and Total Disaster for the Gamecocks and Steve Spurrier knows it.

Here’s Steve Spurrier’s BIGGEST problem:  When you are a part-time coach which in our opinion Steve Spurrier is in spades at South Carolina and you are winning games then everything is fine….BUT…if you start posting losing records as a part-time coach and there are dozens of up-and-coming football coaches around the country that will work like a Demon at 80-plus hours a week if they had your job then your job status is in great danger and that is the case of Steve Spurrier at South Carolina no matter what the “Powers That Be” at the University of South Carolina tell you.

The South Carolina football head coaching job is not a gift to be given from God to someone that can keep as long as they like and if the Gamecocks crash and burn in 2015 as it looks like they are bound and determined to do then Steve Spurrier will have no choice but to retire to the beach and play a lot of golf.

Can South Carolina beat UCF?

South Carolina BETTER DAMN beat this Pitiful UCF team!

An old Greek idea…”As long as your name is whispered on the Earth you are immortal” = “Bobby Jones!”

6.  Les Miles, LSU vs. Syracuse – Les Miles has LSU off to a nice start in 2015 with wins over Mississippi State and Auburn but we are talking about the Mad Hatter here and this is the kind of game where if LSU is not focused on the road against Syracuse in the Carrier Dome the Tigers could end up on the losing side of this game which would of course…

Send Les Miles right back to the Hot Seat!

Yes…Syracuse if a CANNOT LOSE game for Les Miles and the LSU Tigers!

7.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue vs. Bowling Green – Purdue is off to a slow start in 2015 with their pretty tough non-conference schedule of Marshall, Indiana State, Virginia Tech and Bowling Green and Bowling Green in Week 4 is not going to be a Box of Cupcakes and a loss in this spot and Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers will be sitting at…

1 – 3

….with Big Ten play beginning on October 3 at Michigan State!

Can Darrell Hazell and Purdue find 5 more wins playing the remaining games?

Bowling Green
At Michigan State
Minnesota
At Wisconsin
Nebraska
Illinois
At Northwestern
At Iowa
Indiana

If they can then that will be a Helluva coaching job by Darrell Hazell which really makes Bowling Green a CANNOT LOSE Game!

8.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. Wake Forest – Indiana head coach Kevin Wilson is very close to getting his ass off the Hot Seat which would happen with a win over a slightly improving Wake Forest team and the Hoosiers especially need this win because that would put them at 4 – 0 heading into Big Ten play where they should be able to find 2 wins out of 8 conference games and thus get IU back to a bowl game which is ALWAYS a significant accomplishment at Indiana.

YES….Wake Forest is a CANNOT LOSE Game for Kevin Wilson and Indiana!

9.  Ron Turner, Florida International vs. La. Tech – This is Ron Turner’s third season as the head coach at FIU and he has posted an overall record of…

7 – 20

…and thus EVERY game from here on out will be CANNOT LOSE game which of course makes this Saturday’s game at La Tech a CANNOT LOSE game especially with a game at UMass on deck.

10.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming vs. New Mexico – If Craig Bohl is EVER going to get the Wyoming football program pointed in the right direction after a 4 – 11 start in Laramie then beating a struggling New Mexico team may just be the spot to do that BUT this is also a game that Bohl CANNOT LOSE because a loss to the Lobos will really show just how far Wyoming football has fallen and how far it will have to come back just to get within sniffing distance of 6 wins-plus and a bowl game!

New Mexico is a CANNOT LOSE game for Craig Bowl and Wyoming!

11.  Bob Davie, New Mexico vs. Wyoming – Bob Davie needs some wins at New Mexico and fast and a game against a struggling Wyoming team may be just the place for the Lobos to get their second win of the 2015 season BUT a loss in this spot to the Cowboys will make it very tough for New Mexico to get 6 wins in 2015 and in our opinion Bob Davie REALLY needs 6 wins in 2015 to return to coach the Lobos next season.

YES….Wyoming is a CANNOT LOSE game for Bob Davie and the Lobos!

12.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia vs. Maryland – With a 2 – 0 start to the 2015 season Dana Holgorsen is now only a win over Maryland from getting his ass off the Hot Seat….at least for now….and we would recommend that the Mountaineers beat Maryland because it will be no Damn fun going into Big 12 play with a game at Oklahoma with your ass on the Hot Seat so Holgorsen get your ass off the Hot Seat with a win on Saturday!

13.  Randy Edsall, Maryland vs. West Virginia – Randy Edsall got off the long smoldering Hot Seat in 2014 with a 7 – 5 regular season record before getting crushed by Stanford in their bowl game and now the Terps have started slow in 2015 and with a loss to West Virginia in Morgantown Randy Edsall will find his ass right back on the Hot Seat which for Damn sure makes this WVU game at….

CANNOT LOSE or it is Hot Seat for sure for Edsall!

14.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. North Texas – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa are off to a 3 – 0 start in 2015 but we have seen this movie before and the question is now can the Hawkeyes keep things rolling against North Texas before they open up Big Ten play at Wisconsin on October 3?

We don’t know but we do know that…

North Texas is a CANNOT LOSE game for Kirk Ferentz and the Iowa Hawkeyes!

15.  Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Oklahoma State – If you want to understand what is going on behind the scenes of the Texas athletic department and Texas football program right now deep in the heart of Texas just watch the below clip from the movie Nixon when Richard Nixon met with some “boys” in Texas shortly before November 1963 when the “Texas boys” tried without success to get Nixon to commit to run against John F. Kennedy in the 1964 Presidential Election:

Charlie Strong and his Texas coaches should just keep their heads down and keep trying to win football games BUT everyone should understand the firing of now former Texas AD Steve Patterson was done for a reason while the college football season was still going on and that is because in our opinion if the Texas football team falls flat on its face this season with a less than .500 record then there will be a MASSIVE push by the “Texas boys” to payoff Charlie Strong and go hire a new head football coach for the Texas Longhorns which we would handicap in the following way as the most likely next head football coach at Texas…in order with most likely first:

Nick Saban
Jimbo Fisher
Mark Dantonio
Jim Mora
Rich Rodriguez
Gary Patterson
Chip Kelly

YES…you could say that Oklahoma State is a CANNOT LOSE game for Charlie Strong and the Texas Longhorns!

16.   Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Florida – You can do all the Damn great recruiting you want and all the Damn great talking you want but if you don’t win football games when you are at a place like Tennessee you will find your ass on the Hot Seat and eventually out of a job and when we say “win football games” it is our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that Butch Jones’ Tennessee football team should win…

8 Games in 2015

….and that is why that Cowardly Oklahoma loss was such a Complete Freaking Disaster for Jones and a loss that Jones MUST atone for with a win over Florida on Saturday in the….

CANNOT DAMN LOSE Game of the Day!

The Tennessee Vols now at 2 – 1 on the season have these games remaining to be played….

At Florida
Arkansas
Georgia
At Alabama
At Kentucky
South Carolina
North Texas
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

…and in our opinion if you could have beaten Oklahoma if not for some COWARDLY coaching then for Damn sure you can beat….Florida, Arkansas, Kentucky, South Carolina, North Texas and Vanderbilt which adds up to…

8 Wins Total and an 8 – 4 overall record

…and thus Butch Jones now has his charge…beat ALL of the above listed teams and get 8 wins on the board or Hot Seat it will be!

17.  Jeff Monken, Army vs. Eastern Michigan – Even sitting on an 0 – 3 record and his ass on the Hot Seat Jeff Monken’s Army team hasn’t played too badly in 2015 and that is why we here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expect Army to beat Eastern Michigan on Saturday in a CANNOT LOSE game for the West Point Boys….Go Army!

18.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Texas A&M –From where we sit we see only three possible scenarios for the rest of the 2015 Arkansas football season and Bret Bielema’s future in Northwest Arkansas:

A.  Somehow Arkansas beats Texas A&M on Saturday and the Razorbacks come roaring back under BIG Talking Bret Bielema to win 8 games overall and a winning record in SEC play and Bielema is the talk of Razorback Country come December!

B.  Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday but somehow regroups to win 6 or 7 games with a .500 record in SEC play and although Bret Bielema’s ass is still on the Hot Seat come December he lives to fight another day and comes back for the 2016 season to coach the Razorbacks.

C.  Arkansas gets destroyed by Texas A&M and then loses to Tennessee and Alabama on the road and amazingly somehow loses to Auburn at home also which has Bret Bielema’s ass HOTTER than a newly arrived showgirl in Vegas and then the rest of the season falls apart with the Hogs finishing with records of….

2 – 10 overall

0 – 8 in SEC play

…which is followed by Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long being driven out of Fayetteville in the dark of the night for their own personal safety never to be seen again in Northwest Arkansas!

We asked one of our Arkansas fishing buddies what would happen if Arkansas only won 2, 3 or 4 games in 2015 and his response was:

“That Fat Ass Bielema would have his ass run right out of town is what would happen!”

With the possibility of “that Fat Ass Bielema getting his ass run right out of town” come December we now have a pool going on at Coaches Hot Seat on who will be the next head football coach at Arkansas and the leader of that Coaches Hot Seat Next Arkansas Head Coach Pool as of September 25 is…

Justin Fuentes, Memphis head football coach!

Coach ‘Em Up Bret Bielema or fully expect to get your “Fast Ass run right out of town” come December!

Good Luck against the Aggies Bret and if you lose….well….you know…your ass will only get Hotter!

19.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Ole Miss – Assuming for a moment that Derek Mason can retain his job at Vandy if somehow the Commodores can get 4 wins at least in 2015 this Saturday’s game against Ole Miss is not really a…

CANNOT LOSE Game

…but rather how about let’s see if Vandy can make this game competitive for awhile and stay healthy in the process and get ready for a BIG game at Middle Tennessee on October 3 which is for Damn sure a CANNOT LOSE Game!

20.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. Mississippi State – Almost two decades ago now when a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were working on the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta they were invited over to Talladega, Alabama for one of the 500 mile NASCAR races at the Talladega Motor Speedway and during that trip they learned a very valuable lesson about human nature. Before the race the two Coaches Hot Seat members were talking to the owner of one of the cars in the race that day and they were telling the owner how exciting it was to watch races on TV from Talladega and that they were looking forward to a great day of racing to which the car owner replied to by saying:

“Well Hell Boys….glad to hear you love the racing but as for everyone else at home watching on TV and the people at the track they love to see the crashes!”

The above insight into human nature is why to all of us in the general public that watching what is unfolding at Auburn is so Damn interesting because the Auburn Tigers football program is right now in the middle of a slow-motion crash that could turn into one of those 20-plus car pileups they have ALWAYS have at Daytona and Talladega with just one more loss on the board and that is why this game against Mississippi State on Saturday is not only a HUGE game for the Auburn Tigers…

It is the BIGGEST game of Gus Malzahn’s young college coaching career!

The line between Failure and Success is now razor thin in Major College Football and there is no Damn guarantee that what worked today will work tomorrow mainly because what you are doing today is being taken apart by dozens of graduate assistants in college athletic departments that are working overtime to find ways to BLOW-UP what you are succeeding with today and there in a nutshell is what has happened at Auburn for Gus Malzahn who runs an offense that even a mediocre defense can BLOW-UP if Malzahn does not have a game-changing quarterback receiving the snaps.

We don’t have a Freaking Clue if the new starting Auburn QB Sean White is the solution to what ails the Tigers’ offense BUT for Damn sure Gus Malzahn had no choice but to try another quarterback because Jeremy Johnson was moving in slow motion while making very Damn slow decisions and when you combine Slow + Gus Malzahn’s offense you have nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

Let’s look at Auburn’s remaining schedule with the Tigers now at 2 – 1:

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

If Auburn plays like they did against Louisville, Jacksonville State and LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

5 Games in 2015

…and if Auburn only wins 5 games in 2015 the Hot Seat under Gus Malzahn’s ass especially if the Tigers don’t beat Alabama will make Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell look like a rollercoaster ride at Six Flags!

21.  Norm Chow, Hawaii vs. Wisconsin – Is there anyone with a working brain that believes Hawaii can beat Wisconsin in Madison?

Didn’t think so which makes this Saturday’s Hawaii at Wisconsin game not so much a…

CANNOT LOSE

…..game for Warriors head coach Norm Chow but rather a….

CANNOT LOSE TOO DAMN BAD Game!

Good Luck in Madison Norm!

22.  Paul Petrino, Idaho vs. Georgia Southern – Eventually when you post a win/loss record like this…

3 – 23

…as a head football coach you will be called into someone’s office and told to get your stuff together because you are done and sooner rather than later unless Paul Petrino starts winning some football games at Idaho that is a conversation that Petrino will be having which makes the Vandals’ Saturday game against Georgia Southern a…

CANNOT DAMN LOSE Game!

23.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State vs. Fresno State – Most of all right now San Jose State HC Ron Caragher needs some wins because his win/loss records with the Spartans of….

Overall:  10 – 17

MWC:  7 – 10

….in now his third season on the job equals Hot Seat in a BIG way and the only way to get off the Hot Seat is to start winning some football games starting with the game against Fresno State on Saturday.

Fresno State is a clear CANNOT LOSE game for Ron Caragher and San Jose State!

24.  Steve Sarkisian, USC vs. Arizona State – To say our USC alum friends are unhappy right now with the state of USC football would be a massive understatement because they fully believed that the Trojans would roll Stanford last Saturday setting up a BIG game this week against Arizona State in Tempe BUT now this Arizona State game is very simply….

A game that Steve Sarkisian CANNOT LOSE

…especially with what remains on USC’s schedule after this Saturday:

Washington
At Notre Dame
Utah
At California
Arizona
At Colorado
At Oregon
UCLA

Damn…if USC drops to 2 – 2 with a loss to Arizona State on Saturday the Trojans will be fighting to just get to 6 wins in 2015 and if the Trojans win less than 8 games this season….

Damn…just Damn…our USC alum friends will be all over AD Pat Haden to find a new football coach for the Trojans and when these boys start calling for your ass to be fired…your ass is almost always fired!