Daily Archive: November 7, 2016

The Grand Tour – Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – We Are Ten Weeks Into the College Football Season Mr. Cash….Just Keep Giving It To These Hot Seat Coaches Straight With The Bark On Johnny…With The Damn Bark On!


Before we get to the Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis and since it is early November we must remind everyone that…

The Grand Tour


….television program starring Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May starts streaming on Amazon.com Prime on November 18 so make Damn sure you have Amazon.com Prime so you don’t miss The Grand Tour because these three Idiots….Clarkson, Hammond and May…are Great Damn Fun!


Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

We Are Ten Weeks Into the College Football Season Mr. Cash….Just Keep Giving It To These Hot Seat Coaches Straight With The Bark On Johnny…With The Damn Bark On!

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings


1.  Mark Helfrich, Oregon – Reading the below piece from October 2014…

The Quiet Genius, Mark Helfrich isn’t brash, or showy, or all that recognizable. He rarely gets the credit Chip Kelly got. He doesn’t want to be famous. But if Oregon keeps winning, he will be., Michael Weinreb, Grantland.com

….we at least have to wonder if Mark Helfrich missed a great opportunity when he took over the Oregon Ducks football team to make it more reflect…

Mark Helfrich

….instead of continuance of what Chip Kelly built at Oregon which one must say was a potent force in the world of college football but was like the San Francisco 49ers are now…

A Lifeless Form With No Real Heart or Soul

We have a Coaches Hot Seat member that was at the University of Oregon earning a master’s degree in the last two years of Chip Kelly’s reign in Eugene and his great interest in the game of football led him to try and find out just what made Chip Kelly such a great coach but alas….the Oregon football program was sealed-up like a tomb as if it was afraid of the outside world when Chip Kelly was at the helm…and sadly even with a strikingly different new head coach in Mark Helfrich who should have taken a chance and put his own stamp on the Ducks….

Oregon Football is still a place With No Real Heart or Soul

Just guessing, but the core group of people that founded Coaches Hot Seat about ten years ago now when Walt Harris was still the head coach of the Stanford Cardinal football program, have over the last two decades-plus run into Phil Knight a few hundred times not that any of us have ever gleaned anything from those meet-ups since Phil doesn’t share much but the Oregon Ducks football program reflects Knight totally in that same, “The Hell with them, we are going to do it our…the Oregon way,” fashion.

Everyone at Coaches Hot Seat agrees that the Oregon Ducks football team that Mark Helfrich took over in 2013 was a Top 5 football program and over the next two years posted a record of…

24 – 4

…including a National Title Game appearance against Ohio State at the end of the 2014 season.

What then has happened since that loss to Ohio State that has seen the Ducks post a record of…

12 – 10

…the last two seasons and a record against Power 5 Conference schools of…

9 – 10

….in 2015 + 2016?

Just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat…but the Chip Kelly Oregon football team that Mark Helfrich took over in 2013 is slowly dying and indeed may already be dead and Helfrich has created nothing to put in its place…a Mark Helfrich football team for starters…that reflected Mark Helfrich…

Not the Aloof Chip Kelly

Not the Private Phil Knight

…but Mark Helfrich who is by all accounts is a smart and nice guy that has a football team that reflects something not of him really and that is now crumbling around Helfrich with the head coach seemingly not having a clue why!


Of course those in the know in and close to Oregon athletics would say in this spot that…

Oregon football reflects Phil Knight above all

….and to wander from that spot would be like committing suicide for any head coach but to that we will only say this…

Above all Phil Knight loves a WINNER

….and has had under contract at Nike athletes that won in all kinds of different ways and approaches and that brings us back to Mark Helfrich and his 3 – 6 football team which still has to play this season…

At Utah
At Oregon State

Sorry…even if Oregon wins its next three games 6 – 6 is not good enough for Mark Helfrich to keep his job mainly because there isn’t anyone with a working brain that thinks Oregon would be any better in 2017 than they have been in 2016 which to be honest has been…

Damn Awful!

Oh…just for the record….below are Oregon’s Team Recruiting Rankings according to Rivals.com for the years 2009 through 2017 and does anyone else notice a trend….a downward trend that is?

Rivals.com Team Recruiting Records

2010 – 13
2011 – 9
2012 –16
2013 – 22
2014 – 23
2015 – 17
2016 – 28
2017 – 33

It’s just a guess since it seems that Mark Helfrich is all but done at Oregon, but if the reports are true that Phil Knight is thinking about making a $10 million dollar a year offer for a coach to replace Helfrich then the list of coaches that might be worth that kind of money is short in the game of football is short….Very Damn Short:

Nick Saban, Alabama
Urban Meyer, Ohio State
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan
John Harbaugh, Baltimore Ravens
Dabo Swinney, Clemson
Bobby Petrino, Louisville
Jimbo Fisher, Florida State
David Shaw, Stanford
Chris Petersen, Washington

Oh…who is that coach at the end…Chris Petersen of Washington…who coached for FIVE years at Oregon under Mike Bellotti before heading off to be an assistant and then Uber-successful head coach at Boise State and now Washington.

Would Chris Petersen leave the big city of Seattle to take the Oregon job for $10 million a year for 10 years which would more than double his current salary at Washington?

We have a feeling he might…but then that’s just our opinion…and with Chris Petersen 52 years of age that might be a call that one of Phil Knight’s assistants should make in the next couple of weeks….just saying.


2.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – The difference between the Power 5 Conference Schools + Notre Dame has gotten to be so big in recent years we here at Coaches Hot Seat have begun to look at Head Coaches at Power 5 Schools Win/Loss Records against other Power 5 Schools and when we started to do that we found a STUNNING number with Irish head coach Brian Kelly.

Since Notre Dame lost to Alabama in the Bogus BCS National Title Game on January 7, 2013 Notre Dame under Brian Kelly has posted the following Win/Loss Record against teams that are members of a Power 5 Conference:

22 – 17 (.564)


Oh…but check-out Brian Kelly and Notre Dame Football’s record against Power 5 Conference Schools with .500 or better records in the year they played them….

10 – 14 (.417)

Again….at NOTRE DAME!

Sorry…but we here at Coaches Hot Seat must have a little higher expectations for Notre Dame Football than Irish AD Jack Swarbrick who evidently believes that…

Brian Kelly can post ANY Damn record in 2016 and keep his job

…which Kelly is going to test with the Irish now at 3 – 6 on the season and with wins over…


….which now have a combined win/loss record of…

12 – 15!

Oh….Notre Dame has lost to THREE teams in 2016…

Michigan State

…that either already have confirmed will not or might not have a .500+ record in 2016!

Oh the Joys of working at Notre Dame where as head coach you can now…

Average over FOUR-PLUS losses a season

…and keep your Damn job!

We have some news for Notre Dame AD Jack Swarbrick and everyone else making excuses for Brian Kelly who is in his SEVENTH season in South Bend…

In your SEVENTH season at Notre Dame you should be competing for a National Title…PERIOD…but then why should…

We have HIGH expectations for Notre Dame Football when it’s clear the Athletic Director of the school for Damn Sure Doesn’t?


3.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – After the 52 – 7 beatdown of Boston College by Louisville on Saturday in BC Head Coach Steve Addazio’s…

47 th Game at Boston College

…Addazio’s win/loss records now stand at…

Overall:  21 – 26

ACC:  9 – 21

Oh..the last two seasons in ACC Conference play Boston College’s win/loss record is…

1 – 13!

Forgive us if we are not clear on this whole hiring a Head Coach thing BUT shouldn’t a Head Coach’s football team be betting BETTER in Years 3 and 4 instead of worse?

Oh…BC is now 4 – 5 on the season with games left against…

At Florida State
At Wake Forest

What is the Over/Under on how many people will be at the UConn – Boston College game at BC on November 19?


No…we wouldn’t have just fired Steve Addazio’s ass if we were the AD at Boston College after his team got whipped 52 – 7 by Louisville in Addazio’s….

47 th Game at BC

….but rather we would have grabbed Addazio by the scruff of the neck and dragged his ass to Boston Harbor followed by quickly throwing his ass into Boston Harbor just as American tossed tea into the harbor almost 243 years ago!


By the Scruff of the Damn Neck!


4.  David Beaty, Kansas – After the Kansas Jayhawks 48 – 21 loss to West Virginia on Saturday in Head Coach David Beaty’s…

21 st game at Kansas

….that leaves Beaty’s win/loss records at the school in TWO years on the job at…

Overall:  1 – 20

Big 12:  0 – 15

David Beaty is a nice enough of a guy so if we were hired as the AD at Kansas tomorrow we would call Beaty into our office and say….

“Son….you have won one football game in two seasons on the job here at Kansas. You have Iowa State, Texas and Kansas State left on the schedule. If you win two of the three remaining games you will be coaching the Jayhawks in 2017….if you win less than two games it’s over. Now best of luck to you Son in these last three games and if you need anything just let me know.”

Last week that we wrote in this blog that if we fired David Beaty at Kansas that we would call the below coaches in order to find a new coach, but alas we left a name off this list which we should add now which is Tulsa head coach Phillip Montgomery who has done a very nice job in two years at the school:

1. Mike Leach, Washington State
2. Craig Bohl, Wyoming
3. PJ Fleck, Western Michigan
4. Philip Montgomery, Tulsa
5. K. C. Keeler, Sam Houston State
6. John Grass, Jacksonville State
7. Bob Stitt, Montana


5.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – What was being whispered a few weeks ago in Knoxville is now public fodder and has even made into onto the Paul Finebaum Show on the SEC Network and what we are referring to is…

Butch Jones believes that the news media in Knoxville….yes in Knoxville…are out to get him and Jones has turned into the Richard Nixon of college football obsessing over what every member of the local and regional media is saying about him and his football program.

Now for Butch Jones to think that the media in Knoxville or any coach about to think that the media in ANY SEC Conference town is out to get the head football coach is NUTS beyond belief since the football team pays a lot of the bills and keeps a lot of people employed covering said football team AND…listen closely here Butch…

There is nothing more the local media in ANY SEC Conference town wants than their local football team to win and win BIG!

Now that the Total Damn Idiocy that the media in Knoxville is out to get Butch Jones has been Totally Debunked let’s look at the FACTS starting with Jones win/loss records at Tennessee….

Overall:  27 – 20

SEC:  12 – 17

….which we would label as AVERAGE to BELOW AVERAGE for a place like Tennessee especially when one considers that the Vols could easily be…

4 – 5

…right now instead of 6 – 3 in 2016 which if reversed would have Butch Jones on the #1 Hot Seat in America even ahead of Mark Helfrich at Oregon which brings us to what’s left on Tennessee’s schedule in 2016….

At Vanderbilt

….and what would have to happen for Butch Jones to lose his job in a few weeks:

Tennessee loses all THREE games = Butch Jones is DONE

Tennessee loses TWO of last THREE games = Butch Jones is DONE

Tennessee loses ONE of the last THREE games = Butch Jones comes back in 2017

Oh you think Tennessee can finish 7 – 5 in Butch Jones FOURTH year at Tennessee and Jones can keep his job?

Not a chance in Hell especially considering that entering the season the Vols were favorites in…

10 of the 12 games on their schedule

….and the best case scenario they will end up with 9 wins which is OK…if you are partial to AVERAGE!


6.  Rich Rodriguez, Arizona – On Saturday Arizona got beat by Washington State by the score of…

69 – 7

…and there is only ONE way a football team with as much talent as Arizona can lose a game to Washington State which has Equal or Less Talent than the Wildcats….

The Arizona Football Team just Flat-Out QUIT…PERIOD…in our humble opinion.

What happens now after Arizona QUIT….in our humble opinion….against Washington State which leaves Arizona’s record at 2 – 7 with games left with….

At Oregon State
Arizona State

…and the very real chance that Arizona in Rich Rodriguez’s FIFTH season at the school could finish at…

2 – 10?

Well….at least those rumors that Rodriguez was interested in the South Carolina and Miami jobs last year….in our humble opinion mind you….are starting to make sense not that we don’t understand that since the reality is…

Rich Rodriguez grew-up and spent most of his life in GREEN West Virginia and he is now living in the BARREN desert of south Arizona which is beautiful but is a place that those of us here at Coaches Hot Seat can only take for a few weeks at the most before we are ready to get back to the GREEN of California, Colorado, and Georgia.

It’s just a hunch on our part but we wouldn’t be surprised if Rich Rodriguez’s agent was right now talking to other schools that might have a job opening coming up in the next few weeks about Rich Rod possibly moving on down the road from Arizona to somewhere where it is GREEN and somewhere where they speak more Southern….Hmmmmm…now where could that possibly be?

We can think of at least one…maybe two places…that are in GREEN places and in the South where a job may be coming open in the coming weeks and for Damn sure if Rich Rodriguez does make a move we are quite confident that Arizona AD Greg Byrne has a list of coaches at the ready and we have a pretty good idea who Byrne would attempt to hire first if he suddenly had a head football coach opening….THINK….

Row The Boat…just Row the Damn Boat!

Not that anyone at Coaches Hot Seat would like to see the Boat Rower in the Pac-12 Conference but it’s something that could very well happen!


7.  Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – On Saturday Charlie Partridge and his FAU football got a nice win over woeful Rice which also has a head coach in David Bailiff on the Hot Seat and now in THREE seasons at the school Charlie’s win/loss records stand at….

Overall:  8 – 25

CUSA:  6 – 15

….which in our opinion is BELOW AVERAGE for what we expected out of Partridge at FAU who we had High High Hopes for when Charlie came from Arkansas to take this job in Boca Raton.

Now at 2 – 7 on the season can FAU maybe get a few more wins with games left against…

Old Dominion
At Middle Tennessee

…which probably means one more win and if that happens it would leave Charlie Partridge with THREE straight seasons at FAU with records of…

3 – 9
3 – 9
3 – 9

Sorry…if we are the AD at FAU tomorrow and had this stadium for our football team to play in….


….we would call Charlie into our office in late November and say:

“You have a good Thanksgiving Charlie?” Good….Good…now as for FAU we are no longer going to be needing your services Son and you and your coaches have until Saturday, December 3 to get all of your stuff out of the athletic building. Understood? Good…now good luck to you Son!”


8.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – Yes…Kliff Kingsbury’s overall record at Texas Tech is BELOW AVERAGE at…

23 – 24

….and Kingsbury’s Big 12 Conference record at Tech is AWFUL…

12 – 21

….but even worse is Kingsbury’s record against Power 5 Conference Schools in FOUR seasons in Lubbock:

14 – 25

Damn….is there a word in the English language to describe a 14 – 25 record against Power 5 Conference Schools when you are the head coach at Texas Tech?

Well…maybe not a word but a phrase perhaps…

Total Horseshit!


The Red Raiders are now 4 – 5 after their loss to Texas on Saturday and still have games left against…

At Oklahoma State
At Iowa State

….and our guess is that Tech finishes the season at 6 – 6 since it looks like that the Baylor football team and coaches it seems are about to Totally Quit on the 2016 season.

Will a 6 – 6 record save Kliff Kingsbury’s job at Texas Tech?

Maybe…Just Maybe.


9.  Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – In Paul Johnson’s EIGHT and NINTH seasons at Georgia Tech he has posted combined win/loss records of…

Overall:  8 – 13

ACC:  3 – 11

…and if that can keep you employed at Georgia Tech then we don’t have a Damn Clue why Tech even bothers to field a football team any longer!

Now at 5 – 4 on the season after the loss to North Carolina the Yellow Jackets have games left against…

At Virginia Tech – Guess A Loss
Virginia – Guess A Loss
At Georgia – Guess A Loss

…which would leave Tech at 5 – 7 on the season and looking for a new head football coach come early December under new athletic director and former football player at Georgia Tech Todd Stansbury.

Who might Todd Stansbury hire at Georgia Tech if he should have an opening in the football head coaching job in a few weeks?

Our guess…someone that is under 50 years of age…someone who runs an up-tempo offense that is NOT the wishbone…and someone that can get the Atlanta area excited about Georgia Tech football again. We can think of a handful of coaches that fit that bill!


10.  Tommy Tuberville, Cincinnati – Tommy….Tommy….Tommy….

“Hey…Go To Hell…Get A Job?”

Oh Tommy….Son….we learned something in business a Helluva long time ago…

When someone paying YOUR salary is criticizing and/or yelling at your ass about your job performance you don’t yell back at them…

“Hey…Go To Hell…Get A Job!”

Tommy Tuberville has had a decent run at Texas Tech and Cincinnati after getting fired or after mutually parting with Auburn after the 2008 season but in the last couple of years we have detected a bit of…

“If we win we win…if we lose we lose”

….attitude from Tuberville at Cincinnati….in our humble opinion….and after two 9 – 4 records to start at Cincinnati in the last two seasons Tuberville has posted records of…

Overall: 11 – 11

AAC:  5 – 8

Here’s the problem….with Cincinnati now at 4 – 5 on the season after their loss to BYU at home on Saturday they have games left against…

At Tulsa

…and there is a very good chance that the Bearcats could lose all three of their remaining games and not go to a bowl game for the first time in Tuberville’s time at the school.

Come on Tommy….your Cincinnati team SHOULD beat UCF under a first-year head coach and SHOULD beat Memphis under a first year head coach and as for that game at Tulsa on November 25…

There’s not a chance in Hell you will beat Tulsa Tommy

…so you better Damn beat UCF and Memphis to get your ass off the Hot Seat!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Monday, November 7, 2016 – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.



“A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve.”


“Every calling is great when greatly pursued.”


“Every idea is an incitement… Eloquence may set fire to reason.”


“Happiness consists in activity. It is running steam, not a stagnant pool.”


“Have the courage to act instead of react.”


“I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived.”


“It’s faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.”


“Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.”


“Most people are willing to take the Sermon on the Mount as a flag to sail under, but few will use it as a rudder by which to steer.”


“One’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.”


“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.”


“The man who is always worrying about whether or not his soul would be damned generally has a soul that isn’t worth a damn.”


“Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.”


“Wisdom is the abstract of the past, but beauty is the promise of the future.”


“Without wearing any mask we are conscious of, we have a special face for each friend.”


“If I were dying, my last words would be, Have faith and pursue the unknown end.”


“Get down, you fool!” Assertion famously directed at then-President Abraham Lincoln when he came under enemy fire at Fort Stevens during the American Civil War, as quoted in Team of Rivals : The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln


“Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered that I was not God.”


“Free competition is worth more to society than it costs.”


“State interference is an evil, where it cannot be shown to be a good.”


“To have doubted one’s own first principles is the mark of a civilized man.”


“If I were dying, my last words would be, Have faith and pursue the unknown end.”


“I happen to prefer champagne to ditchwater, but there is no reason to suppose that the cosmos does.”


“That, at any rate, is the theory of our Constitution. It is an experiment, as all life is an experiment.”


“Life is a roar of bargain and battle, but in the very heart of it there rises a mystic spiritual tone that gives meaning to the whole. It transmutes the dull details into romance. It reminds us that our only but wholly adequate significance is as parts of the unimaginable whole. It suggests that even while living we are living to ends outside ourselves.”


“Life is an end in itself, and the only question as to whether it is worth living is whether you have had enough of it.”


“Most of the things we do, we do for no better reason than that our fathers have done them or our neighbors do them, and the same is true of a larger part than what we suspect of what we think.”


“Lawyers spend their professional careers shoveling smoke.”


“A second class mind, but a first class temperament.” A summation of his opinion of Theodore Roosevelt


“A man’s mind is stretched by a new idea or sensation, and never shrinks back to its former dimensions.”


“I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving – we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.”

Wikipedia:  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.