Daily Archive: October 15, 2018

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Laziest Ass College Head Coaches!

Time is getting short for several of these Hot Seat Coaches so let’s get right to it and bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give it straight to these coaches with the bark on!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  David Beaty, Kansas – We are not really sure what is going on at Kansas…

David Beaty still firing away, Tom Keegan, Lawrence World-Journal

…but head coach David Beaty did fire his OC Doug Meacham last week which is like tossing your Executive Officer overboard on US Navy ship as you head towards a reef so you can make sure you hit the reef in the just the right way but come now….in 4 seasons at Kansas Beaty is sitting on records of…

Overall:  5 – 37

Big 12:  1 – 29

…and the Jayhawks still have to play in 2018 games against…

At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

….and we don’t see KU winning any of those games so everyone knows where this is going and as John Wayne said playing character Davey Crockett in the movie The Alamo…

“I always counted on dying, it’s just the where and the when I’m not sure of right now!”

It’s down the Where and the When…just like with Davey Crockett at The Alamo!

2.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – Ole Steve Politi wrote after the Rutgers loss to Maryland on Saturday…

Rutgers has become Blowout U under Chris Ash, Steve Politi, Star-Ledger

….things are really a Damn mess at Rutgers and Chris Ash in 3 years on the job is sitting on records of…

Overall:  7 – 24

Big Ten:  3 – 20

….with still games to be played against in 2018….

Northwestern
At Wisconsin
Michigan
Penn State
At Michigan State

Rutgers is not winning another game in 2018 and when you are a head football coach and in your…

31 st game at a school

…as Chris Ash was coaching on Saturday against Maryland and your team…

Gets Its Ass-Whipped All Over The Damn Field

…and has been…

Getting Its Ass-Whipped All Over the Damn Field All Damn Season

….it matters little that you have a….

$10.35 Million Dollar buyout on December 1, 2018

…because your ass MUST BE BOUGHT OUT….unless of course the people running Rutgers Athletics needs to have their asses fired and run out of town!

3.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – What we saw on Saturday in the Tennessee – Auburn game wasn’t just an…

Inferior Football Team in Tennessee by 2 or 3 times that beat Auburn on its homefield

….but watching a replay of the game we saw….

Auburn Football Players QUITTING

…which makes sense because we wrote in this blog last week that…

Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team!

Now…when we say that Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team we are saying that because we believe there is a reason why Malzahn has QUIT and that reason…in our humble opinion is…

Gus Malzahn in a Petty, Selfish, and in a Big Ego kind of way has created a toxic place for his assistant coaches to work and that has now seeped down to the Auburn players and unless someone owns up….make that Gus Malzahn accepts direct responsibility for his Pitiful Pettiness, Selfishness, and Massive Ego…and apologizes for acting like a Spoiled Pompous Arrogant Ass to his coaches and players…NOTHING is going to change at Auburn and the now…

4 – 3 Tigers

…will be lucky to win another game….YES lucky to even beat Liberty at home in November since Liberty just beat Troy….this season with these games left:

At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

Maybe Gus Malzahn is hoping that Auburn doesn’t win another game and that he will get his ass run off The Plains with $32 million dollars in early December but….we have it on good authority that if Auburn collapses down the stretch and it’s obvious as Hell that Gus Malzahn has Totally Damn QUIT on his football team that Malzahn will have go into court to get that $32M or take a lot less if Auburn runs his ass out of town because when you Flat-Out QUIT your ass is not fulfilling the obligations inherent in being the…

Head Football Coach of the Auburn Tigers!

What is probably coming for Gus Malzahn and the Auburn football team?

Trouble….we see lots of trouble ahead with potentially the President at Auburn getting fired followed by Gus Malzahn getting fired and anyone else that signed-off on the Idiocy of giving someone a 7 year $49 million fully guaranteed contract getting their asses out of Auburn….that’s the trouble that is coming plus a few other items as well if this does indeed implode that will make the insanity around Terry Bowden getting run from Auburn almost 3 decades ago look sane by comparison!

4.  Randy Edsall, Connecticut – During this past Summer when about a dozen Coaches Hot Seat members were on our 2018 See America RV Tour which included visits to 30 US states we drove from Gettysburg Battlefield in Pennsylvania to the Hartford area to spend the night before heading into Boston the next day. We went to Hartford because we wanted to meet with a UConn alum + booster of ours to talk to him about Randy Edsall and he met us at a great barbecue restaurant near the Hartford airport called the Bear’s Smokehouse.

We cannot recommend Bear’s Smokehouse – The Official BBQ of the UConn Huskies by the way – enough to folks love barbecue, and on that night when we asked our UConn alum + booster buddy about Edsall his response was a Sigh and then…

“It’s a Damn Mess and has been for awhile. (meaning UConn football.) In my opinion anything less than 6 wins this season and Randy is gone, but who would we hire?”

Our UConn alum + booster passed along a few other tidbits about UConn football we will not post in this spot for various reasons, but if Randy Edsall does need to win 6 games in 2018 then the 1 – 5 Huskies with only a win over FCS Rhode Island and still to play these games…

At South Florida
UMass
At Tulsa
SMU
At East Carolina
Temple

….better Damn get busy but come now…is there anyone on Earth thinks UConn will win more than one more game the rest of this season?

Didn’t think so!

We happen to know 3 or 4 coaches we think could turn around and win at UConn in a short amount of time which we passed along to our UConn alum + booster and let’s hope he has passed those names along to the folks at UConn because it looks like 2018 is going to be nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster for the Huskies!

5.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – By all rights North Carolina should have beaten Virginia Tech on Saturday before losing 22 – 19 to the Hokies at home and with that loss Larry Fedora is…

5 – 16

….in his last 21 games at UNC and things don’t get any easier with these games left in 2018…

At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

We would guess that UNC maybe wins 2 more games to finish at…

3 – 9

…for the second straight season and Larry Fedora’s buyout on December 1, 2018….

$12.2 Million Dollars!

Now that is Freaking Hilarious because we would not give a contract like that to Nick Saban but then we don’t work in the Total Damn Freaking Fantasyland that is a college campus where ADs make contracts with coaches with…

Other People’s Money

…so what the Hell do they care if they create Totally Damn Stupid contracts?

Hint: They don’t care at all!

Thus why there are so many asinine contracts in college football and also because Athletic Directors and Presidents are…

So Damn Easy To Roll!

6.  Brent Brennan, San Jose State – In Brent Brennan’s 19 th game as the head football coach at San Jose State his team got beat by Army….at home mind you…by the score of…

52 – 3

…which leaves Brennan’s records at…

Overall:  2 – 17

MWC:  1 – 10

Oh…San Jose State now at 0 – 6 on the season still has to play in 2018 games against…

At San Diego State
UNLV
At Wyoming
At Utah State
Nevada
At Fresno State

That looks like at best…a record of….

1 – 11

…for San Jose State in Brennan’s second year on the job and that is not something we would tolerate if we were the AD at SJSU but then come now…if we were the AD at SJSU we would be interested in actually…

Finding a Head Football Coach that could Win Some Football Games

…not looking for a coach that checks off a few boxes and gets recommendations from a few people….many of them out of the game of football because they also got their asses run out of jobs!

That’s just us now and then you have ADs that Don’t Know Their Asses From the Side of a Barn when it comes to hiring football coaches…hiring fraud football coaches that have No Damn Idea how to lead a football program and to win football games on a regular basis across America!

7.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – Louisville lost to Boston College on Saturday by the score of…

38 – 20

…which drops the Cardinals record down to 2 – 5 on the year with games still to play against…

Wake Forest
At Clemson
At Syracuse
NC State
Kentucky

We don’t think Louisville will win another game this season and that Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats will DESTROY Louisville in the last game of the season which will be followed by Bobby Petrino being fired by the AD at Louisville.

That is all.

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Lovie Smith coached his 30 th football game at Illinois against Purdue and his team lost at home to a team with roughly the same amount of talent in Purdue by the score of…

46 – 7

…and what you saw on Saturday was…

Jeff Brohm – A College Head Coach That Has A Damn Clue

Lovie Smith – A College Head Coach That Has No Damn Clue

….and if you cannot figure out a way to not Get Your Damn Ass Whipped All Over The Damn Field in your 30 th game as a head coach going against a team with the same talent as you…

Your Ass Is NEVER Going To Figure It Out!

Lovie Smith is his third year coaching the Illini and his records now stand at…

Overall:  8 – 22

Big Ten:  3 – 18

…and Illinois still have games left against…

At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

We don’t see Illinois winning another game in 2018 but Lovie is being paid…

$5 Million Dollars A Year

…and has a buyout on December 1, 2018 of…

$12.6 Million Dollars!

Freaking Hilarious!

Josh Whitman is the AD at Illinois and not only was the hiring of Lovie Smith to coach a college football team…

Incredibly Asinine

..but to give a guy who had never been a college head football coach the above contract in our opinion means that…

Josh Whitman’s ass should be fired today

…but come now…we are talking about an AD here where being…

Stupid As Hell is actually a Freaking Job Requirement!

Anyone that tells you someone is smart because they are an attorney we note that Josh Whitman’s Wikipedia entry says he was graduated…

Summa Cum Laude from the Illinois School of Law!

Now that’s Freaking Hilarious because when Lovie Smith was hired by Illinois three years ago a friend of ours that has worked in the NFL for 30+ years said to us….

“This will turn out to be the Stupidest Hire in recent college football history!”

Close…but there’s a few even worse with Charlie Weis being hired by Kansas easily in our opinion the…

Worst Hire since the end of World War II in major college football

….but Lovie Smith being hired by Illinois might just be #2!

9.  Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – So let’s get this straight….

Paul Johnson had a long-term grudge against Louisville defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder so Johnson’s Georgia Tech team whips the Cardinals by a score of…

66 – 31

….but then that same team led by the same coach loses to Duke at home a week later by the score of…

28 – 14

Now what Damn sense does that make and why in the Hell was Paul Johnson not fired on the field after the Duke game?

We have several Georgia Tech alum friends been fed-up with Paul Johnson’s Horseshit for years now and being good engineers who work their asses off in their day jobs they don’t let that the Yellow Jackets look like Total Shit on the field really bother their daily lives but come now…

Over the past two seasons Georgia Tech’s combined record now stands at…

8 – 10

…and Tech still has to play in 2018 games against…

At Virginia Tech
At North Carolina
Miami
Virginia
At Georgia

What…Tech might win 2 more games in 2018 and finish with a second straight 5 win season in Paul Johnson’s 11 th year at the school where Johnson seems more interested in settling scores with other coaches than winning Games and Championships?

Exactly why we would have fired Paul Johnson on the field right after the Duke game on Saturday!

10.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – It’s not easy to find out what’s going on at schools around the country with their football programs on a day-to-day basis with the way coaches hide their football programs from most everyone, but we hear enough things from our contacts and by reading things in the media to form opinions and something we have been kicking around at Coaches Hot Seat for about a year is new Coaches Ranking called the…

Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches

…and in our opinion if we had to list the 10 Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches who in our opinion do a Helluva Lot less work than other coaches around the country the that list would start with…

1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn
2.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State

Why is it our opinion that Gus Malzahn and Mike Gundy are the 2 Laziest Ass College Football Head Coaches in America?

We don’t have to answer that question because…it’s our opinion as Americans and US Military Combat Vets and Mike “I Am A Man but a Lazy Ass Man In Our Opinion” Gundy can stuff that opinion…

Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine!

Even if Mike Gundy is Lazy As Hell….and in our opinion Ole Gundy is Lazy As Hell and has been for a couple of years now as he has shopped his ass around to any school with a job opening that might consider his ass…be lucky you didn’t hire him because Gundy is Lazy As Hell in our opinion….what has landed Gundy on the Hot Seat is the performance of his football team which after losing to a…

Pitiful Kansas State team on Saturday

…is now 4 – 3 on the season and things aren’t going to get any better because…

When Your Head Coach is Lazy As Hell

…and you still have to play games against…

Texas
At Baylor
At Oklahoma
West Virginia
At TCU

…there’s a decent chance the Cowboys don’t win another game this season and checking the USA Today Coaches Salaries list we see that Gundy’s buyout on December 1, 2018 is…

$16.25 Million Dollars

…and that might be a number that T. Boone Pickens would be wise to write a check for since Ole Boone is 90 years old and if he wants to see Okie State win a national title that’s not something he will see with a..

Lazy Ass Head Coach in Stillwater!

Memo to T. Boone Pickens:  Boone, we know a Helluva Head Football Coach that would love to have the Oklahoma State job and in addition to not being Lazy As Hell like Mike Gundy he could win in 2019 so you might want to get that checkbook out and make it out to…

Mike Gundy

…for $16.25 Million Dollars and on the comments line just write in:

To fire the 2 nd Damn Laziest Coach in College Football!

In our humble opinion of course!

You want the name of that coach Boone just give us a call…you should have our number!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Monday, October 15, 2018 – George Lucas

“A lot of people like to do certain things, but they’re not that good at it. Keep going through the things that you like to do, until you find something that you actually seem to be extremely good at. It can be anything.”

And

“Everybody has talent, it’s just a matter of moving around until you’ve discovered what it is.”

And

“Part of the issue of achievement is to be able to set realistic goals, but that’s one of the hardest things to do because you don’t always know exactly where you’re going, and you shouldn’t.”

And

“Star Wars” is fun, its exciting, its inspirational, and people respond to that. It’s what they want.”

And

“Whatever has happened in my quest for innovation has been part of my quest for immaculate reality.”

And

“When you are a beginning film maker you are desperate to survive. The most important thing in the end is survival and being able to get to your next picture.”

And

“Working hard is very important. You’re not going to get anywhere without working extremely hard.”

And

“You simply have to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. Put blinders on and plow right ahead.”

And

“Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you can imagine it.”

And

“Luke, there is no try, there is either do or not do.”

And

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

And

“In my experience, there’s no such thing as luck.”

And

“You sort of see these recurring themes where a democracy turns itself into a dictatorship, and it always seems to happen kind of in the same way, with the same kinds of issues, and threats from the outside, needing more control. A democratic body, a senate, not being able to function properly because everybody’s squabbling, there’s corruption.”

And

“Being in Washington is more fictional than being in Hollywood.”

And

“Don’t avoid the cliches – they are cliches because they work!”

And

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

“Yoda: Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.”

And

“[Luke has seen a vision of Han, Leia and Chewie being tortured in Cloud City]
Luke: I saw – I saw a city in the clouds.
Yoda: [nods] Friends you have there.
Luke: They were in pain…
Yoda: It is the future you see.
Luke: The future?
[pause]
Luke: Will they die?
Yoda: [closes his eyes for a moment] Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future.
Luke: I’ve got to go to them.
Yoda: Decide you must, how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could; but you would destroy all for which they have fought, and suffered.”

And

“C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1.
Han Solo: Never tell me the odds. “

And

“[Luke can’t levitate his X-Wing out of the bog] 

Luke: I can’t. It’s too big.
Yoda: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”

And

“Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here?
Luke: I’m looking for someone.
Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm?
Luke: Right…
Yoda: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.
Luke: I don’t think so. I’m looking for a great warrior.
Yoda: Ohhh. Great warrior.
[laughs and shakes his head]
Yoda: Wars not make one great.”

And

“Luke: All right, I’ll give it a try.
Yoda: No. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.

And

“[Using the Force, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog]
Luke: I don’t, I don’t believe it.
Yoda: That is why you fail.”

And

“Yoda: Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi’s strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice.
Luke: Vader… Is the dark side stronger?
Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.
Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
Yoda: You will know… when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, NEVER for attack.
Luke: But tell my why I can’t…
Yoda: No, no! There is no “why””

And

“Luke: I won’t fail you. I’m not afraid.
Yoda: You will be. You… will… be.”

And

“Luke: There’s something not right here… I feel cold. Death.
Yoda: [points to a cave opening beneath a large tree] That place… is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
Luke: What’s in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you.”

Wikipedia:  George Lucas

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