Tag Archive: Arkansas

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

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Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

21.  David Shaw, Stanford – As a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members sat in Stanford Stadium on Saturday night watching Stanford whip Hapless and it seemed almost Coachless UCF an interesting observation was made by one CHS member:

“Is it just me or do the Stanford football players seem to going back to the size physically they were (which was puny) when Walt Harris was run off The Farm and replaced with Jim Harbaugh in 2007?”

This idea that the Stanford football players are getting increasingly smaller under head coach David Shaw compared to the size they were under Jim Harbaugh and in the first couple of years of the Shaw reign has been a topic of hushed discussion for over a year now among a small group of Coaches Hot Seat members which blew-up into a wide ranging discussion on Saturday night with lots of comments thrown in from the peanut gallery like…..

“How small the Stanford football players seemed at fan day in August. Hell, my boy in the ninth grade was bigger than half the Stanford team!”

“How it seems the Stanford football players are losing rather than gaining weight year-over year under David Shaw.”

“Doesn’t it seem like the Stanford football players are less cut, less in shape looking and overall not in the condition they were in during the Jim Harbaugh years?”

What was the final conclusion to this discussion you ask among the participating Coaches Hot Seat members which included a couple of CHS Members chiming-in from their hotel room in Knoxville, Tennessee?

Stanford football IS GETTING SMALLER and LESS PHYSICAL overall under David Shaw and all it takes for one to understand this FACT is for anyone to watch a tape of the Northwestern game from this season to see a smaller team in Northwestern push Stanford around all over the field on the way to a 16 – 6 win over the Cardinal.

Of course, the proof is ALWAYS in the pudding as someone once said and this week Stanford plays at USC which has ALWAYS had larger and stronger players across the board than Stanford but for a few seasons during the Jim Harbaugh years there was a time when USC was flat-out…

Intimidated by Stanford Football

….which culminated in 2009 Stanford – USC game at the LA Coliseum when the Cardinal led Jim Harbaugh team CRUSHED the Trojans by the score of…

55 – 21!

Unfortunately USC has won the last two games in the Stanford – USC series and it will be fascinating to see what the Trojans are able to do with Stanford at the LA Coliseum on Saturday in Steve Sarkisian’s second year as the head coach at USC after narrowly beating the Cardinal 13 – 10 last season on The Farm.

Will Stanford get pushed around by a team in USC that has five to six times as much talent as Northwestern which thoroughly dominated Stanford in the first game of the season or is there something…..anything….that David Shaw can do to get the Cardinal offense on track before the Pac-12 schedule really cranks up with several teams on the schedule that can easily score 30 or more points a game which would leave the pitiful Stanford offense in the dust?

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We shall all see on Saturday night with a decent amount of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Los Angeles for the Stanford – USC game at one of our favorite venues to watch football games the LA Coliseum which a few Coaches Hot Seat members have been watching football games at for almost 40 years now. Needless to say with the remaining games on Stanford’s schedule as listed below…

At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

….there is a REAL chance that Stanford does NOT win 6 games in 2015 if they play like they did against Northwestern and of course if Stanford doesn’t win 6 games in 2015 Stanford WILL be looking for a new head football coach come December for Damn sure!

22.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson is now in his fourth season coaching the Tulane Green Wave and has posted win/loss records of…

Overall:  12 – 27

CUSA:  9 – 15

….with ONE winning season and bowl game in the books in his first three seasons.

Is Tulane the kind of place that should expect to be playing .500 or better football on a regular basis?

We sure the Hell don’t know why not and after Tulane started the 2015 season with losses to Duke and Georgia Tech the Green Wave has these games left on the schedule:

Maine
UCF
At Temple
Houston
At Navy
At Memphis
UConn
At Army
At SMU
Tulsa

Hmmm…..with the above games remaining is there anyone that believes Tulane will win at least 6 games in 2015?

Didn’t think so which takes us to…

Coach up your team Curtis Johnson or the Hot Seat will just get HOTTER!

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23.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – What a PERFECT opportunity Saturday is for…

Pretty Boy Kingsbury

….to both get Coaches Hot Seat off his back, have us drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER, and get a win for Texas Tech football when the Red Raiders travel to Fayetteville on Saturday to play an Arkansas team that is coming off a loss to Toledo and is according to our buddies in Ft. Smith, Arkansas…

In Total and Complete Disarray Right Now

….with people in Fayetteville pointing fingers at who was responsible for the Toledo loss and therein lies the…

PERFECT opportunity for Pretty Boy Kingsbury and his Red Raiders!

Can Texas Tech really go into Fayetteville and beat an Arkansas team coached by someone (Bret “Ohio State LOVES THEIR CUPCAKES” Bielema) who it seems is more interested in who Ohio State is playing each week (Northern Illinois) than in getting his team ready to play football games?

YES is that answer to that question and a loss in this spot for Bret Bielema to Texas Tech would not only get Pretty Boy Kingsbury OFF the Hot Seat it would send Bret “Anyone seen Urban Meyer eating CUPCAKES today” Bielema into a close orbit around the Sun for the foreseeable future with the SEC Conference schedule still ahead!

Memo to Pretty Boy Kingsbury:  If you score 35 points in this game you will beat Arkansas and YES if you beat Arkansas on Saturday we will drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

Good Luck Pretty Boy!

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24.  Les Miles, LSU – With wins over Mississippi State AND Auburn Les Miles has an opportunity to go from the frying pan to the catbird seat if LSU can get a win over a Totally Hapless Auburn team in Baton Rouge on Saturday and consider this for a moment that IF LSU can beat Auburn the Tigers will then have the below games left on their schedule before they play at Alabama on November 7:

At Syracuse
Eastern Michigan
At South Carolina
Florida
Western Kentucky

Hell, if LSU can beat Mississippi State and Auburn we see no reason why LSU can’t roll through their next FIVE games and show up in Tuscaloosa on November 7 at….

7 – 0

….to play the Crimson Tide BUT hold it just a second…after Alabama the Tigers still have to play…

Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M

….so even if LSU was 7 – 0 on November 7 Les Miles could still lose his last 4 games and end the 2015 season at…

7 – 4

….and rightfully get his ass run out of Baton Rouge come December!

Up first though before Les Miles possibly gets his ass run out of Baton Rouge in December is the Auburn Tigers in Tiger Stadium and don’t tell anyone Les because what we are about to tell you is just between you Les and us here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Coaches Hot Seat whispering through the computer to Les Miles:  “Our contact at Auburn tells us the Auburn coaching staff is in full-on panic mode right now because they know and Gus Malzahn knows that if Auburn loses to LSU on Saturday and Malzahn drops to 10 – 7 in his last 17 games that Malzahn’s ass will be on fire and on the Hot Seat!”

Good Luck Mad Hatter and OH…if you lose to Auburn at home in Tiger Stadium when Auburn is in “full-on panic mode” your precious ass will be climbing back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!

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25.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over Liberty University which is where that Total Nutcake Bernie Sanders was speaking on Monday but we will say about Bernie Sanders that even though he is a Total Nutcake at least he is a Total Nutcake with personal principles that he sticks to whether you disagree with him or not!

Getting back to Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia Crazy Boy Holgorsen has a chance to get his ass off the Hot Seat next week with a win against Maryland at home on September 26 which would be nice since WVU travels to play at Oklahoma in their fourth game of the season after the Terps come to Morgantown.

For now though with West Virginia having an off-week Crazy Boy Dana Holgorsen remains on the Hot Seat right where Crazy Boy belongs!

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26.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa got a nice win at Iowa State on Saturday but then…

Iowa State has LOST 21 of their last 26 games

…so beating Iowa State is akin to beating a Ladies Senior Citizen Bridge Club’s auxiliary football team that meets on every Tuesday night in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa so we hope that fans of Iowa football aren’t getting too confident after a win over the Cyclones especially with Pitt coming to town on Saturday.

We will tell everyone why a loss to Pitt on Saturday would be especially devastating to Kirk Ferentz and Iowa:

Pat Narduzzi is in his first year as a head coach at Pitt or as a head coach anywhere and if Pat Narduzzi can in his third game as a head coach roll into Iowa and beat the Hawkeyes on the road where exactly does that leave Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz?

Right in the septic tank on the farm is where that leaves Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz!

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27.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Several Coaches Hot Seat members have been traveling to the Great State of Nebraska for over two decades on business and thus we have had a long love affair going with Nebraska and the Good People of that state and even when we put Mike Riley on the Hot Seat we have done so reluctantly since Mike Riley is a lot like the Good People of Nebraska in that Riley is almost…

Impossible NOT to like

….but this is Coaches Hot Seat and when you are the head coach at Nebraska you have to win “X” number of games to stay OFF the Hot Seat and thus why this Saturday’s game at Miami is so Damn important for Mike Riley and Nebraska football as they head towards Big Ten Conference play.

Of course, this Nebraska – Miami game is also very important for Hurricanes head coach Al Golden and thus we have set-up here in South Florida a..

Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up

….with the winning coach getting his ass off the Hot Seat for now and the losing coaching getting the heat turned up on his ass Come Monday….

….and no doubt many times in the future during the rest of this college football season as well.

Good Luck to Mike Riley and Al Golden in this Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaches game!

28.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – Mike MacIntyre and Colorado got a nice win over UMass at home in Boulder on Saturday and now the Buffs face a CRITICAL game against Colorado State on Saturday which is a match-up that Colorado MUST WIN with the Pac-12 conference schedule looming over their shoulders and with the first Pac-12 game against Oregon in Boulder on October 3.

Can Colorado beat Colorado State on Saturday to get Mike MacIntyre off to a 2 – 1 start with Nicholls State up next which should be 3 – 1 before the Buffs start Pac-12 play against Oregon on October 3?

We don’t see why the Hell not!

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29.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora and North Carolina got a win over CUPCAKE North Carolina A&T on Saturday and now getting back to Big Boy College Football UNC will host Illinois on Saturday in Chapel Hill which is being coached by interim head coach Bill Cubit.

Yep…North Carolina CANNOT lose to this Illinois team that was in Complete and Total Disarray just a few weeks ago because a loss in this spot to drop to 1 – 2 with the below schedule still looming…

Delaware
At Georgia Tech
Wake Forest
Virginia
At Pitt
Duke
Miami
At Virginia Tech
NC State

…would put both Fedora and the Tar Heels in a precarious position as ACC Conference play gets underway on October 3 with a game at Georgia Tech.

Memo to SPF which is short for Six Pack Fedora here at Coaches Hot Seat: DO NOT LOSE TO Illinois! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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30.  Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – Frank Beamer and the Hokies loaded-up on a CUPCAKE this past Saturday with a win over Furman and now it is back to reality for Virginia Tech with a game at Purdue in Week 3 in what is for Damn sure…

A MUST WIN Game for Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech

….because a loss in this spot to a Purdue football team that has won FIVE total football games the past three seasons would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and fully reveal the current….

Hapless State of Virginia Tech Football

….which in what may be Frank Beamer’s last season in Blacksburg is certainly something that Coach Beamer does not want to be fully revealed for all the world to see.

With a game at East Carolina in Week 4 a loss to Purdue might just lead to the Hokies starting the 2015 season at…

1 – 3

….and fighting for their lives just to get to a pitiful bowl game and is a mediocre season and pitiful bowl game really how Frank Beamer wants to go out at Virginia Tech after a legendary coaching career?

NO is the answer to that question and thus YES Virginia Tech had better Damn beat Purdue!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

There are just a few reasons why a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and by far the main reason a coach finds his ass on the Hot Seat is…

He did not win enough football games!

But…there are other reasons a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and two of those reasons that we have had to account for in recent years have been…

1.  A Head Coach like Charlie Weis who in our opinion did not give a Damn about coaching the Kansas football team in the proper way which also makes Charlie Weis a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being….with that being the opinion of EVERY American here at Coaches Hot Seat

AND

2.  Coaching like a Scared Coward which is how four SEC head coaches coached their teams on Saturday….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzhan, Auburn

….with three of the above COWARD COACHES now finding their precious and COWARDLY asses on the Hot Seat for their COWARDLY behavior because they lost their games and Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan now just one loss away from finding his ass on the Hot Seat with Auburn playing at LSU this coming Saturday! Besides coaching in a COWARDLY way which clearly in our opinion ALL FOUR of the above SEC head coaches did on Saturday what really pisses us off here at Coaches Hot Seat is when head coaches who have guaranteed contracts that will pay them Millions of Dollars whether they win or lose so they will never have to work a day the rest of their lives…

Still Coach like COWARDS!

It was just Shameful and a Disgrace to the American Republic forget about an embarrassment to the SEC that head coaches…

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzahn, Auburn

….were on Saturday…just so Damn SHAMEFUL!

We will get more into the COWARDLY behavior of head coaches….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina

…in the Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis BUT is it just us here at Coaches Hot Seat or is everyone else thinking the same thing?

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The Southeastern Conference reached its PEAK at the same time that Paul Finebaum was negotiating the contract for his book in New York City in the spring of 2013 for what eventually became this….

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….and after the past two college football seasons and especially this past weekend has become what historians will mark as the Beginning of the End of the SEC? Of course, anyone that knows Paul Finebaum knows that Paul has a stellar record of latching onto public figures just before they are sent off to prison so Finebaum signaling the end of the SEC with his Idiotic book would not only be the MOST right thing in the world it would make a Helluva lot of sense also!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Let’s bring out the Man in Black to…

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Cyclones head coach Paul Rhoads is on a pretty bad run of late and the loss to Iowa over the weekend on Iowa State’s home field by a score of…

31 – 17

….didn’t help matters and just by comparison over Paul Rhoads last 26 games coaching ISU he has posted a record of….

6 – 20

…and the previous head coach at Iowa State Dan McCarney posted a record over his last 26 games at ISU of…

12 – 14

….and also by comparison puts the winning percentages of Rhoads and McCarney at…

.231 for Paul Rhoads in last 26 games at ISU

.462 for Dan McCarney in last 26 games at ISU

Sorry, but Paul Rhoads can be the nicest and hardest working guy in the world and by all accounts we have heard he is both BUT we caught some of the Iowa – Iowa State game on Saturday and to put it bluntly…..

Iowa State DOES NOT look like a very well coached football team right now…PERIOD.

Oh….up next for Iowa State…

At Toledo which just beat Arkansas in Fayetteville!

Good Luck with that Paul and here’s a tip…don’t complain this week like some kind of LOSER about Ohio State’s schedule when you have a team to get ready to play Toledo!

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2.  Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team had Notre Dame right where they wanted the Irish on Saturday…

Up by a point with just a few minutes to play with the Irish starting QB out and a back-up QB in for Notre Dame that had hardly played at all in a meaningful live college football game

….and how exactly did Mike London’s Virginia team find a way to lose this time around?

By allowing that back-up QB that had next to no experience throw a ball to a receiver that was allowed to get behind a defensive back for some reason which ended up with a touchdown!

Geez…you really cannot make-up some of the stuff that has happened to Virginia football in recent years BUT this loss to Notre Dame takes the cake, the pie and every Damn dessert in the kitchen and with that loss London’s record at UVA dropped to…

Overall:  23 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…over the last six seasons which is bad from whatever direction one looks at those records.

Up next for Virginia…

William & Mary
Boise State
At Pitt

Our recommendation to Mike London = WIN all three of those games son!

3.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Oh, you thought it was a big deal that the Florida Gators beat New Mexico State 61 – 13 on Week 1?

Uhhhh….NOT….because Georgia State which had won ONE football game the last two seasons just beat New Mexico State on their home field!

This is Doug Martin’s third season as the head coach at New Mexico State and his record at NMSU now stands at:

Overall:  4 – 22

Enough said on the Hot Seat situation at NMSU!

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4.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and the Purdue Boilermakers got their first win of the 2015 season over Indiana State on Saturday which means about as much as a grizzly bear crapping in the woods of Yellowstone National Park meaning it means NOTHING AT ALL!

The 2015 college football season begins again for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers on Saturday with Virginia Tech coming to town and this is a game in our opinion that….

Purdue Should Win

….IF Purdue plays with the same intensity that they played with against Marshall in Week 1.

In the “Just By Comparison” department Darrell Hazell has now been the head coach at Purdue for 26 games and his win/loss record stands at…

5 – 21

….and the coach he replaced at Purdue who was fired and run out-of-town posted a record in his first 26 games at Purdue of….

10 – 16

….which should tell everyone that is paying attention why exactly Darrell Hazell is on the Hot Seat!

5.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt looked OK at times against Georgia on Saturday but in the end a loss to the Dawgs by a score of…

31 – 14

…..leaves Derek Mason’s win/loss record in his second season at Vandy now at….

3 – 11

…and let’s hope Mason’s record after this coming Saturday’s game against Austin Peay is…

4 – 11

….or Mason might not make it as head coach at Vandy to the Ole Miss game in Oxford on September 26!

Looking over the rest of Vanderbilt’s 2015 schedule…

Austin Peay
At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

….if Vandy improves just a little bit more as the season progresses MAYBE the Commodores can win…

4 Games in 2015

….which would be an improvement by ONE win over 2014 and would give Mason one more year in Nashville to get Vandy back to their “James Franklin-years” winning ways and with that Derek Mason now has his goal for 2015….

4 Wins!

Coach ‘Em Up Derek!

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6.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson and the Indiana Hoosiers beat Florida International on Saturday by the score of 36 – 22 and when one considers that FIU had won….

6 Games

…the last three seasons combined Indiana beating FIU meant about as much as a wild pig finding an acorn in Alabama which means that win over FIU means NOTHING AT ALL!

Up next for Kevin Wilson and Indiana….a very tough Western Kentucky team that is very simply a…

CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson and the Hoosiers but especially a CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson!

7.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – In Week 2 Paul Petrino’s Idaho team lost to USC in Los Angeles by a score of…

59 – 9

….and with that loss Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho now stands at….

2 – 23

…..which is a winning percentage of…

.080%

….and the last Idaho head coach Robb Akey got fired at Idaho after posting a winning percentage of…

.286%

…over 6 seasons and thus why Paul Petrino is clearly on the Hot Seat!

Up next for Idaho….

Wofford!

OK…this should be a WIN for sure for Paul Petrino and the Vandals!

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8.  Ron Turner, Florida International – After seeing in person an average Stanford team made of balsa wood whip UCF on Saturday night we now understand how FIU beat UCF in Week 1 and thus it was no surprise to us that an average Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday.

FIU has won…

6 Games

…in three seasons under Ron Turner and FIU should get its SEVENTH win under Ron Turner on Saturday when they play

NC Central

….not that anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue who in the Hell NC Central is!

We do know that Ron Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat whether Dave Wannstedt of Fox Sports thinks Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat or not!

Memo to Dave Wannstedt:  Ron Turner’s precious ass is on the Hot Seat and FIU beating UCF in Week 1 was No Damn Big Deal!

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9.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game saw the same thing that the other 100-plus Coaches Hot Seat members saw watching the Sooners – Vols game on TV and that was….

Tennessee head coach Butch Jones had the Sooners on the ropes for much of the game and if not for COACHING LIKE A COWARD and COACHING NOT TO LOSE the Vols could have delivered the knockout punch to Oklahoma many times in the game and when you COACH LIKE A COWARD your precious ass ends up on the Hot Seat and that is where Butch Jones finds his precious ass on this Monday morning!

Oh by the way….below are Butch Jones win/loss records at Tennessee which make a Helluva lot more sense now after seeing him COACH LIKE A COWARD in the Oklahoma game:

Overall:  13 – 14

SEC:  5 – 11

Sorry Butch Jones…we don’t give a Damn if you inherited a wreck of a football program from the combo of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley because IF you are going to the head coach at Tennessee and a head coach in the SEC you first and most importantly must…

NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD!

As Coaches Hot Seat members discussed the outcome of the Oklahoma – Tennessee game on Saturday night after watching a day of college football and that Badass Madison Bumgarner almost throw a perfect game against the San Diego Padres two things were mentioned the most about Butch Jones’ coaching performance against Oklahoma:

1.  Butch Jones COACHED LIKE A COWARD and in many ways COACHED SCARED against Oklahoma on Saturday

AND

2.  Butch Jones clearly DOES NOT trust his quarterback Joshua Dobbs because there were numerous instances in the first and second half of the game against the Sooners where Butch Jones and his new and OLD offensive coordinator could have unleashed Dobbs on OU and put the game out of reach of the Sooners BUT Butch Jones didn’t do that which brings to mind a quote from the Great Bill Walsh on quarterbacks that one of us heard Coach Walsh say a Helluva long time ago:

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Bill Walsh:  “If you don’t trust your quarterback to make plays and decisions on the field then you don’t have a quarterback and you don’t have a leader. A head coach must prepare his starting quarterback to the best of his ability and then trust his quarterback on gameday. To do anything but that would lead me to believe that a team either has the wrong head coach or wrong quarterback….or both. A head coach must trust his quarterback because that trust is fundamental to playing winning football.”

YES….we miss Coach Walsh and YES there are dozens of college football head coaches across America that DO NOT TRUST their quarterback and SHAME on them for that idiocy!

Sorry Butch Jones BUT it was YOU that cost the Tennessee Vols that game against Oklahoma because very simply Butch Jones you…

COACHED LIKE A COWARD….PERIOD.

Up next for Tennessee…

Western Carolina

…which is a SURE win and then COWARD Butch Jones and the Vols play…

At Florida

…and we would recommend that Butch Jones NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD against the Florida Gators because if the Vols lose to the Gators again….

Your ass Butch Jones and thus YOU will find yourself on the Face of the Sun!

SunEarthOh!

 

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10.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members had been watching a tape of the Toledo – Arkansas game on Sunday and after watching things for awhile someone said check the box score on the game for Arkansas and after doing that what about these numbers for the Hogs offense?

Arkansas ran the ball 31 times for 103 yards

Arkansas threw the ball 53 times completing 32 for 412 yards

What in the Freaking Hell Bret Bielema?

So the working theory in Fayetteville must be that Arkansas can run the ball against SEC West teams but not a team from the MAC Conference? Is that right Bret Bielema who seemed in the last week very Damn concerned about Ohio State’s schedule and not the Hogs opponent which just whipped your team’s ass in Little Rock Bret and landed your ass back on the Hot Seat in the process!

YES…like Butch Jones…Bret Bielema COACHED LIKE A COWARD on Saturday but it was a different kind of COWARDICE that Bielema brought out against the Toledo Rockets….it was COWARDICE plus STUPIDITY because if Arkansas had not panicked and had just ran the ball down Toledo’s throat instead of throwing the ball all over the lot they could have won by two touchdowns but instead like in Knoxville and in Columbia…

COWARDLY behavior by the head coach won the day

….and with that COWARDICE the SEC now has FIVE head coaches on the Hot Seat….

Derek Mason, Vanderbilt
Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Les Miles, LSU

….and if the COWARDLY coaching continues at least three of the above head coaches will NOT be coaching their teams in 2016!

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Memo to Bret Bielema:  This week Bret focus on getting your football team ready to play against Texas Tech because in case you didn’t know it your win/loss records at Arkansas of…

Overall:  11 – 16

SEC:  2 – 14

….are NOT the records that should lead to a head coach popping-off about ANYTHING relative to other football teams around the country especially the Defending National Champions in Ohio State which BEAT Alabama in the Semi-Final Playoff Game in case you forgot Bret!

Oh….lose to Texas Tech Bielema and your ass will be like the Persian Gulf region the last time a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members were in it during the spring and summer of 1991 for Desert Storm which was….

Hotter than Hell!

cc: Jeff Long, Arkansas Athletic Director