Tag Archive: California

COACHES HOT SEAT > California

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

November 14, 2022

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > You really gotta wonder about the Simple Intelligence of the people who work at Texas A&M University who don’t seem to have any understanding of what Texas A&M stands for or should be projecting into the world, because if anyone at Texas A&M had a Damn Clue about what Texas A&M stands for and is they would have NEVER hired…

Dennis Franchione
Mike Sherman
Kevin Sumlin
Jimbo Fisher

….to follow RC Slocum as the Head Coach of the Aggies!

There is a serious problem at Texas A&M that extends far beyond the Total Damn Disaster that is Jimbo Fisher’s football program in Aggieland and it is the so-called Leadership at A&M and the Top Boosters not knowing…

Just what in the Hell that Texas A&M University is all about!

It’s not about Jimbo Fisher who has created a Selfish, Self-Consumed, and Toxic environment with Aggies Football and was allowed to do so in our opinion in the blind pursuit of a National Championship but here’s a Newsflash for you Damn Morons running Texas A&M and sit in those fancy suites at Kyle Field that…

Don’t Know Your Asses From the Side of a Barn

…and proved it by first hiring Jimbo Fisher, second giving Jimbo a Totally Absurd Contract, and third extending that contract last year when a Total Gift from Heaven was sent to you and LSU wanting to hire Fisher that got your Totally Stupid Asses out of the that Totally Stupid and Absurd Contract with Jimbo!

Very Simply…the so-called Leadership at Texas A&M and Top Alums + Boosters are…

Very Stupid People that are not qualified to run a lemonade stand forget about a Great Institution like Texas A&M University and especially oversee the Aggies Football Program and it’s been this way for 2 Damn Decades now!

Reality is if you don’t count the Corona Virus Season of 2020 which was Total Horseshit Football from start to finish Jimbo Fisher’s Win/Loss Records at Texas A&M are >

Overall > 28 – 20

SEC > 14 – 18

Anyone with a 2+ IQ would look in the mirror and admit they are Total Damn Morons and raise the $86M and buyout Jimbo Fisher before Aggies Football is Totally Destroyed but what you gotta understand…

The folks that run and support Texas A&M University are…

Too Big of a Damn Cowards to admit the Truth that they are Damn Morons and even if they did run Jimbo’s ass out of College Station none of them have the have the Simple Common Sense to go hire a…

Real Football Coach!

…to replace Jimbo!

Not A Damn One of Them!

2.  Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Pretty Boy Patty Boy and his Non-Fighting Wildcats got their asses handed to them again…

This time by that Powerhouse Football Program Minnesota

….to drop to 1 – 9 on the season and what can we say about Pretty Boy Patty Boy that we haven’t already said this season beyond Pretty Boy Patty Boy…

Those are some mighty Pretty Non-Football Players you got there at Northwestern

…and we would recommend you not get your team into a disagreement with the Northwestern Chess Club because those Boys….

Would Whip You and Your Non-Fighting Players Asses and Make You Like It!

Anyone out there in America wants a coach that can turn your football team into a bunch of…

Damn Candy Asses

…too give Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy up in Evanston a call because he’s your Boy for sure!

Northwestern at 1 – 9 has left in 2022 >

At Purdue
Illinois

Got 1 – 11 Pretty Boy Patty Boy?

Your ass is about to have it Son so Pass the Tea and Crumpets because it’s High Tea time in Evanston which is pretty much around the clock these days in Evanston!

3.  David Shaw, Stanford > What can you do but laugh at what a Total Laughingstock that Non-Football Stanford Cardinal program is now because for Damn Sure these Boys and that’s what they are from David Shaw on down…

Just Boys without a Damn Clue about Life or Anything Else

…who are now a Total Joke in the Pac-12 just like Stanford Football was before Jimmy Harbaugh got to The Farm in 2007!

The Big Game is this coming Saturday with the #3 and #4 Hot Seat Coaches facing off and both their Sorry Asses should not be coaching in this game and should have already been fired because they are both a…

Damn Disgrace to Stanford and Cal

….because of ONE SIMPLE REASON >

Neither are Coaching Football nor anything close to the Game of Football!

Tidily-Winks maybe…but certainly not Football!

4.  Justin Wilcox, California > Justin Wilcox firing his Offensive Coordinator and Offensive Line Coach like Captain of the Titanic rearranging the deck chairs as the ship was going down but come on now…

No one really cares whether Cal Football wins or not beyond Wilcox being able to keep cashing a check that his ass does not deserve to cash because…

Wilcox has Failed as the Cal Head Coach with a 29 – 35 record in 6 seasons and he should be fired but come on now…

No one really cares about Cal Football or The Big Game because it is now little more than a Farce of a Game between 2 programs that no longer play the Game of Football!

It’s Just Tidily-Winks!

5. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > Dan Gonzales’s records at New Mexico >

Overall > 7 – 22

MWC > 3 – 18

What else is there to say?

Nothing…Just Damn Nothing!

6.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy > Just like with David Shaw at Stanford a few years ago we knew totally that when Kenny Boy at Navy started talking about Non-Tackling in Practice that Navy Football was Doomed and Doomed it has been with Navy posting a record over the past 3 seasons of…

10 – 22

This is Very Simple Pretty Boy Patty Boy Fitzgerald, David Shaw, Kenny Boy >

If your ass doesn’t Practice the Game of Football your ass will NOT play the Game of Football in the Games you Damn Morons! Go to practice on Monday and Hit, Tackle, Block, and actually Practice the Game of Football and your teams will Improve Immediately in the next game but keep up this Candy Ass Horseshit…and you will turn your players into even Bigger and More Worthless Candy Asses you Damn Morons!

Just Damn Idiots!

7.  Brent Venables, Oklahoma > While Northwestern, Stanford, and Navy have a very simple problem to fix…

They are all coached by Total Candy Asses who have turned their teams into Total Candy Asses

…the problem at Oklahoma is a little different and what it boils down to is this >

A Lack of Leadership by Brent Venables that has led his Sooners team to not believe in what he and his coaches are telling the players and the Oklahoma team plays like it doesn’t believe in their coaches but then to call Oklahoma a “Team” is a stretch because it certainly isn’t anything close to a “Team!”

We could fly to Norman on Monday and fix the problems with Oklahoma Football with 1 Meeting and 3 Practices of the team this week but that’s not going to happen so either Brent Venables figures this out and quick or he’s gonna get his ass run right out of Norman!

The now 5 – 5 Sooners have left in 2022 >

Oklahoma State
At Texas Tech

We Highly Recommend you beat the Pokes on Saturday Brent…Highly Recommend…because you lose this game Son the amount of HEAT that’s gonna be brought by Sooners fans will be something neither you nor anyone on your staff has ever experienced before!

1 Meeting and 3 Practices and it’s fixed….easily!

8.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas > We have always liked Steve Sarkisian a Helluva Lot going back to first time we ran into Sark when he joined Pete Carroll’s staff at USC and Sark is a good guy who wants to do things right and we would like nothing more than for Sark to Win and Win Big at Texas but Son….

This is nothing short of a Total Damn Disaster at Texas right now!

Sarkisian is now 11 – 11 in 2 seasons at Texas and NO Head Coach who has started with a record like that in Texas Football History has been able to hang around for long so with the Horns now at 6 – 4 on the season with these games left >

At Kansas
Baylor

We recommend Sark win both those games and especially don’t lose to Kansas on Saturday…NO don’t do that Son!

9.  Tom Allen, Indiana > We take no joy having Tom Allen on the Hot Seat but Tom…the last 2 seasons Son…

Overall > 5 – 17

Big Ten > 1 – 15

…what in the Hell is going on here Tom?

The 3 – 7 Hoosiers have left in 2022 >

At Michigan State
Purdue

That’s probably 3 – 9 after going 2 – 10 in 2021!

What in the Hell is going on here Tom?

Gotta be something and since we aren’t at the Indiana practices to see what it is Tom you need to figure it out…what are you doing wrong because you are doing something wrong and you better Damn figure out what it is and quick!

10.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > Word is in the Hollars of West Virginia that the Power and $$$ Folks at WVU want to fire Neal Brown and we can see why with Neal sitting on these records >

Overall > 21 – 24

Big 12 > 13 – 0

That’s not going to cut it at West Virginia and with WVU now at 4 – 6 with these games left >

Kansas State
At Oklahoma State

We would guess that it would take West Virginia winning both their remaining games to just give Brown a chance of hanging onto this job!

Coaches Hot Seat

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Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

November 7, 2022

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash and….

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > You gotta feel for the Average Texas A&M Football Fan because…

They got a Head Coach that 95% of Aggies fans would love to fire tomorrow and yet…

They cannot fire Jimbo’s Ass because they would own him $86M Large if they did!

Got Damn Lunacy on Steroids?

Yep and what a Helluva Lesson that no one in College Athletics will learn a Damn Thing from but here’s the Real Kicker and hold onto your sides because your ass is about to breakout laughing like a Hyena drunk on East Tennessee River Moonshine >

If the Aggies fire Jimbo’s Ass after the 2023 season they will owe him…wait for it…

$77M Large!

As one Aggie Buddy of ours in Houston told us on Sunday…

“Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures and since our Aggies asses are in a sling here with Jimbo there are 500,000 Aggies alums in the world today and if each one of them just donated $172 each we could fire Jimbo’s Damn Ass this afternoon! Just for good measure I will throw in $1,720 to really get the ball rolling and Hell if we lose to Auburn this coming Saturday make that $17,200!”

Oh…the Aggies go to Auburn on Saturday to play a fired-up Tigers team under Cadillac Williams and you know what that means…

Aggies and Jimbo about to get their asses handed to them on The Plains by a team with an Interim Head Coach and Roster that has about 50% of the Talent of Texas A&M!

$172 Per Aggie…Time To Pony Up Aggies and end this Damn Stupidity before it gets really bad in Aggieland and you ain’t no where the Rock Bottom that is coming Aggies…trust us on that one!

2.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy and his Non-Fighting Wildcats lost another game on Saturday and over the last 4 seasons for Pretty Boy Patty Boy that’s a record of…

14 – 28

….which a Perfect Pretty Boy Patty Boy Winning Percentage of…wait for it…

.333!

Pass the Tea & Crumpets because Mr. .333 Pretty Boy Patty Boy is on a number that rhymes with…

Tea, Tea, Tea

…which his Non-Fighting Wildcats take each day at High Noon instead of practicing and then they have a Fun, Fun, Fun Goose Down Pillow Fight in a warm room inside the Northwestern Athletic Complex because Pretty Boy Patty Boy’s players can’t be getting their little tushes cold now outside….no we can’t have that!

The Non-Fighting Wildcats with a loss on Saturday are now at…

1 – 8

….on the season and have left games against….

At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Got 14 – 31 the last 4 seasons which would be a Winning Percentage of .311 for Pretty Boy Patty Boy?

Great Thing is .311 Rhymes with….

Tea + One + One = Tea + 1 Crumpet + 1 Goose Down Pillow for All the Non-Fighting Wildcats Players = Oh So Special!

3.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The Butch Jones Era at Arkansas State the last 2 seasons summed-up in a movie clip >

That Is All!

4.  David Shaw, Stanford > If you know a Damn Thing about the Game of Football you can Hear a Great Football Practice going on instead of having to See It and the Stanford alums at Coaches Hot Seat noticed something beginning in the 2018 season when they on the Stanford campus that really cranked-up in the Spring and Fall before the 2019 season that they started talking about a lot years ago now >

Stanford Football was no longer practicing Football but were instead what one Coaches Hot Seat Member described as “Glorified Tiddly-Winks!”

Well…since Stanford Football began their Glorified Tiddly-Winks Horseshit their Head Coach David Shaw has posted a record the last 4 seasons of…

14 – 25

As you can see this is very similar to the Win/Loss Record of Pretty Boy Patty Boy Fitzgerald at Northwestern and the Common Theme with both programs >

Their Asses Quit Practicing Football but instead…you got it…just been doing Glorified Tiddly Winks = Total Horseshit!

When your ass practices like Total Candy Asses guess what your ass gonna play like?

Total Damn Candy Asses and the Biggest Candy Asses in America today >

The Stanford Non-Damn Football Team!

It’s Shameful but David Shaw has No Shame, No Pride, Not One Damn Thing beyond…

Total Damn Arrogance that his Ass is God Almighty on Earth and anyone that would dare disagree with him is a Worthless Shit!

Sorry David….Your Damn Idiocy has Totally Destroyed Stanford Football!

Be Proud…Be Damn Proud of the Damn Losers you have created with Damn Idiocy!

Stanford is now 3 – 6 on the season after getting Totally Destroyed by 4 – 4 Washington State team at home on The Farm and the Candy Asses have left >

At Utah = Will Totally Destroy Stanford

At Cal = Who knows in what should be known as the Total Candy Ass Game instead of the Big Game!

BYU = Will Probably Totally Destroy Stanford

5.  Justin Wilcox, California > Somehow the Cal Offense could only score 13 points on Awful Colorado just a few weeks ago and yet they scored 35 points on the USC Defense says all you gotta know about the Damn Idiocy of the Trojans Defense and with that loss to USC Justin Wilcox’s records at Cal in 6 seasons stands at >

Overall:  29 – 34

Pac-12:  16 – 30

We don’t have a clue what Cal expects out of their football program but it’s got to better than the above records…Right?

6.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > New Mexico lost at Utah State which has been reeling itself of late and that drops the Lobos record in 2022 to 2 – 7 and Danny Gonzales records at UNM to >

Overall:  7 – 21

MWC:  3 – 17

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

7.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > We are not quite sure what West Virginia expected out of Neal Brown when they hired him 4 seasons ago but it can’t be this >

Overall:  20 – 24

Big 12:  12 – 20

That 20 – 24 is a .455 Winning % and the last WVU Head Coach Dana Holgorsen posted a….

.598 Winning %

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

8.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > The Winning Percentages of the Last 5 Arizona Head Coaches >

John Mackovic = .357 = Fired
Mike Stoops = .451 = Fired
Rich Rodriguez = .551 = Fired
Kevin Sumlin = .310 = Fired

Jedd Fisch = .190

Arizona is now 3 – 6 on the 2022 season and has left to play >

At UCLA
Washington State
Arizona State

9.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College > In what has got to be the Weakest ACC Football Conference in 2022 that we have seen in a Helluva Long Time it’s really perplexing that Boston College is Weaker than most with BC sitting on a record of…

2 – 7

…in 2022 and their Head Coach Jeff Hafley now having records posted of….

Overall:  14 – 18

ACC:  8 – 16

Boston College at 2 – 7 has left this season >

At NC State
At Notre Dame
Syracuse

That looks like 2 – 10 to us and a Helluva Problem for the folks up on Chestnut Hill…a Helluva Problem!

10.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – We didn3t expect Navy to beat Cincinnati on Saturday but they kept the game close before losing 20 – 10 to drop their record to 3 – 6 on the season with these games left >

Notre Dame in Baltimore
At UCF
Army

Geez…with Kenny Boy sitting on record the last 3 seasons of…

10 – 21

…that sure looks like 2 more losses to us and then the Army game against a Very Average Army team and…

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

Coaches Hot Seat

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Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

October 31, 2022

Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1. Jeff Scott, South Florida > In Jeff Scott’s 29 th game as the Head Coach at South Florida his Bulls lost to Houston by the score of 43 – 27 and that puts Scott’s records at >

Overall > 4 – 25
AAC > 1 – 18

That is all! What more can we say exactly?

2.  Bryan Harsin, Auburn > If only Bryan Harsin called us a couple of years ago when he first heard from Auburn and asked us what we thought we told Bryan then >

If you go to Auburn you are going to get your ass run in a couple of years, but you will make a pot piss full of money so that decision is really up to you Son!

With Harsin scheduled to get something around an $18M buyout when Auburn fires him in a few weeks what can one say but >

Great Work Son!

Auburn does have an interesting game on November 12 at home on The Plains against Texas A&M and if Jimbo Fisher and the Aggies lost this game to a Head Coach all but fired already and Auburn team in disarray one of those Oil Boys in Texas have to right that check for $86M Large…Right?

3.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > In Jimbo Fisher’s 56 th game at Texas A&M the Aggies lost at home to Ole Miss and most interesting thing about the Aggies losing this game?

Not one person with a 2+ IQ was surprised the Aggies lost this game!

Let’s be honest here >

Texas A&M Football is a Damn Mess and in a Bigger Mess than even the late Dennis Franchione years which were a Helluva Big Mess and with the Aggies now at 3 – 5 on the season and these games left >

Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

If the Aggies don’t get to 6 wins Jimbo’s ass has gotta be run no matter the buyout…Right?

6 Wins is now the Standard of Excellence at Texas A&M!

“If we can only get to 6 wins everything will be A-OK!”

What A Damn Mess!

4.  Patty Boy Fitzgerald, Northwestern >The Losses keep coming for Patty Boy Fitzgerald and the Candy Ass Non-Fighting Wildcats with a loss to Iowa by the score of 33 – 13 on Saturday and you gotta wonder this about Ole Patty Boy >

Do you take 2 lumps of sugar with your high tea or just one Patty Boy?

We are thinking Ole Patty Boy take 4 lumps of sugar in his high tea and he takes his high tea sitting on a big pile of goose down feather pillows!

Ole Patty Boy and the Candy Ass Non-Fighting Wildcats are now 1 – 7 and have left to play this season >

Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Got 1 – 11 Patty Boy?

Your Candy Ass is about to have it Son!

5.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > We don’t have Any Damn Idea why Arkansas State hired Butch Jones 2 years ago save a Fat Boy in Memphis convinced these Damn Morons in Jonesboro it would be a good idea and anyone listening to the Fat Boy in Memphis on who to hire as your next Head Football Coach >

Way beyond a Damn Moron and not qualified to run a lemonade stand which about 95% of ADs in America right now!

Butch Jones records in 2 seasons at Arkansas State >

Overall > 4 – 17

Sun Belt > 2 – 12

That is all and what in Hell more could we say exactly?

Well Arkansas State has left in 2022 >

UMass
At Texas State
Troy

Hell Arkansas State should win at least 2 of these remaining 3 games…Right?

6. David Shaw, Stanford > A couple of Coaches Hot Seat Members were in Los Angeles last week on business and decided to hang around for the Stanford at UCLA football game at the Rose Bowl and both being Stanford alums we were interested to hear their report from the game and here it is and this is of course their humble opinions >

“It was beyond disgraceful how UCLA, F-ing UCLA, pushed around Stanford the entire game and sitting behind the Cardinal bench as soon as it became clear the game was over the Stanford players could have really cared less about playing in the game or even paying attention on the sideline. David Shaw has long ago lost this team and entire Stanford football program and all because he fully embraced Candy Ass Football based upon absolute Horseshit being fed to him by Worthless Academics at Stanford that wouldn’t know how to play in a football game or coach a football team on the best day of their lives. Stanford Football is now Weaker, Most Disorganized, Less Caring, and More Pitiful than it was before Jim Harbaugh arrived on The Farm and we cannot understand how David Shaw can look at himself in the mirror and take a penny from Stanford since he is a Total Disgrace to the Athletic Department and the University as a whole and if he was failing like this anywhere else on the Stanford campus his ass would have been fired long ago!”

Can we get an Amen! Make that a Zillion Amens!

The Truth is the UCLA Powder Blue Bruins just flat-out whipped Stanford on Saturday night because David Shaw is a Candy Ass that hasn’t coached football in 3 years now and will if allowed turn Stanford Football into a collection of the Biggest Damn Candy Asses on the face of the Earth!

Hell Stanford Football is already that > The Biggest Damn Candy Asses on the face of the Earth!

It’s just a Damn Disgrace to not only Stanford University but to America and to the game of football in America because this isn’t football being played at Stanford and if Bill Walsh was alive today he would throttle Shaw’s Candy Ass right off The Farm in a Damn Nanosecond!

In our humble opinion that is!

Stanford is now 3 – 5 with games left against >

Washington State
At Utah
At Cal
BYU

Who knows on Washington State, at Utah is gonna be a Loss, and the Big Game will be a Hot Seat vs Hot Seat Coaches Game with Cal Football being a Damn Disaster as well and BYU is being turned into a bunch of Damn Candy Asses by Kalani Sitake so maybe Stanford will have a chance in that game if the Cougars keep moving towards Total Candy Ass!

7.  Justin Wilcox, California > In 6 seasons at California Justin Wilcox is sitting on 2 Winning Seasons and records of >

Overall > 29 – 33

Pac-12 > 16 – 29

Pitiful is a word that comes to mind and after the loss to Oregon on Saturday the Cal Bears are now 3 – 5 on the season with games left against >

At USC
At Oregon State
Stanford
UCLA

Maybe 4 – 8 in his 6 th season at Cal? Maybe!

8.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > New Mexico had a bye in Week 9 so what we wrote last week on Gonzales still stands and for the record Danny’s records at UNM are >

Overall > 7 – 20

MWC > 3 – 16

Pitiful. Just Pitiful

9.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas > In 2 seasons at Texas Ole Steve Sarkisian now sitting on a record of >

10 – 10

And 5 – 3 in 2022 and the Longhorns have left in 2022 >

At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Damn, the way that Kansas State and TCU playing that looks like 2 losses and Kansas could easily be a loss and Baylor to end the season ain’t gonna be easy so Sark could again go 5 – 7 this season like last year and for the record Tom Herman who got his ass run out of Austin >

Didn’t Have ANY Losing Seasons at Texas!

We would recommend Sark find a way to get to 6 Wins in 2022!

Just Saying!

10.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > Ole Jedd a nice enough of a guy and he’s working hard to get things going at Arizona but in 2 seasons in Tucson Jedd’s records now stand at >

Overall > 4 – 16

Pac-12 > 2 – 12

After the loss to USC the Wildcats now at 3 – 5 on the season and have left in 2022 >

At Utah
At UCLA
Washington State
Arizona State

Maybe if the Wildcats can win 2 their last 4 games that would be an improvement….Hell it would be an improvement so get off your ass and get it done Son!

Uncategorized

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