Tag Archive: Chris Ash

“Change Is The Law of Life” and the 8-Team College Football Playoff – Thank You Johnny Cash! – Post 2018 Regular Season Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

With the bowl season now underway and the 21 FBS Head Coaching Jobs that opened all filled we can take a look at the Post 2018 College Football Regular Season Top 10 Coaches on the Hot Seat.

We have a lot of opinions on the 21 FBS Head Coaches hired in this cycle which we believe to be….

The Worst Group of Head Coaching Hires

….in our lifetime of watching college football which goes back 40+ years to the 1970s and here at Coaches Hot Seat now encompasses the last 12 seasons since we cranked this website up in January 2007.

Before we get to those Top 10 Hot Seat Coaches we first must say that it really is too bad the Damn Fools running college football which is primarily….

The Power 5 Conference Commissioners + the Notre Dame AD

…are willing to shutdown the top teams in college football each year for 30+ days when this past Saturday – December 15 sports fans in America…think the 75%+ of the Americans that do not now watch the sport….could have watched what would be the…

Biggest Day in Sports in America Each and Every Year

….if college football had an 8-Team College Football Playoff which in 2018 would have produced the below 4 On-Campus College Football Games if the sport had the following qualifying for the CFB Postseason:

Keep the College Football Season just as it is right now including keeping all the Conference Championship Games just adding 1 Quarterfinal Round of 4 On-Campus Games on a Saturday in the middle of December

5 Power Five Conference Champs IF LESS than 3 losses (if Power Five Conference Champ has 3+ losses they will have to be selected as a Wild Card for the 8-Team Playoff)

2 Wild Card Teams (More if there is a Power Five Conference Champ with 3+ losses which may or may not be selected as a Wild Card)

1 Group of Five Conference Team IF in the Top 12 of Final Rankings

Losers of Quarterfinal Games then slotted into NYE 6 Bowl Games or other bowls if appropriate around the first of January

Here are those 4 College Football On-Campus Games for 2018 which would create the Biggest Day in Sports in America Each and Every Year which this year would have been played on Saturday – December 15:

UCF at Alabama

Washington at Clemson

Ohio State at Notre Dame

Georgia at Oklahoma

For now at least the Damn Fools still have the wheel of FBS College Football but not forever because the Meaningless Bowl Exhibition Games will not forever define and even control FBS College Football….No….that will not exist forever and the National Champion of FBS will be settled on the field of play without ceding all of December to the NFL and that will be a glorious day and it will be a True Blue American Day because in America…Real Americans settle Championships on the field!

On a more serious note the website The Athletic has written a serious of stories in the last few weeks about a growing movement within collegiate athletics to an 8-Team College Football Playoff with some of the 5 Power Five Conference Commissioners leaning towards 8 Teams and some holding onto the current 4-Team set-up because for now….it benefits them which is incredibly short-sighted and brings to mind the vision of the Late Great Mike Slive who headed-up the SEC as Commissioner for years and saw that the 4-Team Playoff….much like the 8-Team…would benefit not only college football as a whole but the SEC as well and which Mike pushed until the College Football Playoff was a reality. Beyond Mike Slive having great vision and looking ahead while not constantly worried about now but instead focusing on the future where America is always unfolding into to Mike was a Helluva guy who is terribly missed in college athletics.

In the last year of his life on Earth President John F. Kennedy in 1963 traveled to Europe and delivered one of the great speeches of his Presidency at the Assembly Hall in Frankfurt, Germany which is often overlooked because there are so many other speeches Kennedy made that evoked themes that have come to define what America has become in the Post World War II period. We often quote a line from this Kennedy speech in Germany to our friends, co-workers and anyone else that will listen to us on “Change” that is in our opinion the very definition of what has made America so great today:

“But Goethe tell us in his greatest poem that Faust lost the liberty of his soul when he said to the passing moment: “Stay, thou art so fair.” And our liberty, too, is endangered if we pause for the passing moment, if we rest on our achievements, if we resist the pace of progress. For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

Mike Slive was born in 1940 around the same time as many of our Dads and lived through World War II and saw America become the world’s lone superpower not by looking to the past or trying to hold onto the present, but by doing what Americans have always done, by looking forward into the future. If college football is going to achieve its full potential in the life of America it needs to bring everyone in the country along so that like every other NCAA sport the Champions and Top Teams around the country that have earned the right to earn a National Championship on the field of play have that opportunity in the Postseason and that’s just what an 8-Team Playoff would do for college football.

The opportunity to make college football everything it can be in is in the hands of people that often live in the past, that look to a time that is gone and never coming back, instead of looking to the future and embracing change because after all Kennedy was right and every Real American knows it:

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

Let’s get to Top 10 Hot Seat Coaches as of middle of December 2018 with no doubt some changes coming as the bowl season unfolds and with that let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post 2018 College Football Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Clay Helton, USC – The most disturbing thing about the USC football team this past year is how little the Trojans looked like the Trojans under Pete Carroll who were surging in all areas heading into Year 3 when this Trojans team under Helton looked towards the end of the 2018 season….

Undisciplined
Not In Great Shape
Confused
Out-of-Control
Almost Un-Coached at Times

….and we cannot help but wonder how USC could be getting worse under Helton the longer his tenure at the school?

Clay Helton took over the USC football program during the 2015 season from Steve Sarkisian and if one looks at the Trojans recruiting the last few seasons under both Sarkisian and Helton according to 24/7 Sports USC by all rights should have had a team playing for a National Title this season:

USC 24/7 Team Recruiting Rankings

2014 – #10
2015 – #2
2016 – #10
2017 – #4
2018 – #4

Average #6 Recruiting Class the last 5 seasons!

And yet in 2018 USC played 7 FBS teams with .500+ records and their record in those 7 games was:

1 – 6

Oh….USC also lost to a 3 – 9 UCLA team!

Consider this for a moment…USC over the past 5 seasons averaged recruiting the….

#6 Recruiting Class in America

….and the Trojans went 1 – 7 against .500+ FBS teams + the loss to UCLA in 2018!

That is nothing short of STUNNING!

This is USC Football Dammit which we have been watching both in person and on TV since the mid-1970s and we are not going to tolerate this Embarrassing Horseshit nor should USC fans and alumni!

Looking ahead to the 2019 season we haven’t a Damn Clue why Clay Helton hired Kliff Kingsbury as his offensive coordinator when Kingsbury proved he is a…

College Football Program Killer

…at Texas Tech where Kingsbury Totally Damn Failed winning an average of….

5.83 wins a season

…where Bozo the Clown could win 6 games a season!

In our opinion USC does not have the defensive depth to handle the pressure that will put on it by the offense that Kingsbury runs which wears out and eventually destroys the defenses on the teams he coaches and with that in mind let’s look at USC’s 2019 schedule:

Fresno State
Stanford
At BYU
Utah
At Washington
At Notre Dame
Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
At Arizona State
At California
UCLA

Whatever the Hell Clay Helton has planned for 2019 it better Damn be good because there’s a decent chance the Trojans start 0 – 6 or 1 – 5 and if that happens USC will have an interim coach when Arizona comes to the LA Coliseum on October 19.

Oh…USC’s 24/7 Team Recruiting Ranking as of right now….and remember we are talking about USC Football now….is…

#28

Personally….we are pulling for Clay Helton to turn this thing around at USC but honestly we don’t think he has it in him to be the head coach at a place like USC. Some people can handle jobs like Alabama, Texas, Ohio State, Florida State…and USC…and some can’t. Let’s see if Clay can and….

Great Luck Clay!

2.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – To understand the Total Disaster that has been Chris Ash’s time as head coach at Rutgers where he has posted records of…

Overall:  7 – 29
Big Ten:  3 – 24

….you have to understand that in the two seasons that the previous Rutgers head coach, Kyle Flood, led the team the Scarlet Knights in the Big Ten Conference the Knights won…

12 Games

….that’s in 2 seasons….and in 3 seasons Chris Ash has won…

7 Games!

Oh….in Chris Ash’s THIRD season on the job his Rutgers football team put up a record of…

1 – 11!

For some reason the words of former Athletic Director at Florida Jeremy Foley are ringing in our ears right now…

“Anything that will have to be done eventually….should be done immediately!”

Eventually Chris Ash will be fired at Rutgers and he should have been fired after this season….in our humble opinion.

Let’s look at Rutgers 2019 schedule:

UMass
At Iowa
Boston College
At Michigan
Maryland
At Indiana
Minnesota
Liberty
At Illinois
Ohio State
Michigan State
At Penn State

That looks like between 1 and 3 wins to us for Rutgers in 2019 and the reality is we here at Coaches Hot Seat may care more about Rutgers football than the people running Rutgers Athletics because for Damn sure we would not tolerate this kind of losing….not for a Damn second!

3.  Randy Edsall, UConn – After the Total Disaster that was Bob Diaco as the head coach at UConn for 3 seasons when Diaco posted records of….

Overall:  11 – 26
AAC:  6 – 18

….we haven’t a Damn Clue why UConn brought back Randy Edsall after he left out the back door not even saying goodbye to his players at UConn to take the Maryland job but Edsall was brought back and the last 2 seasons he has posted records of….

Overall:  4 – 20
AAC:  2 – 14

….and still we cannot understand…

Why was Randy Edsall hired at UConn?

There’s no good answer to that question and when you look at UConn’s 2019 schedule one can see only more Total Disaster ahead!

Wagner
Illinois
At Indiana
At UMass
At Cincinnati
At Temple
At Tulane
At UCF
East Carolina
Houston
Navy
USF

That looks like THREE wins max to us and if UConn only wins 3 games in 2019 one has to assume the Huskies will have a new head football coach a year from today….right?

4.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Much like Randy Edsall as UConn we haven’t a Damn Clue why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois who in 3 seasons on the job has posted records of…

Overall:  9 – 27
Big Ten:  4 – 23

….and remember now…Lovie Smith took over a .500 football program at Illinois and has turned it into…

A Complete Freaking Disaster!

Consider this STUNNING Number for a moment…

Illinois has played 22 FBS teams under Lovie Smith with .500+ records and the Illini’s records in those games is…

1 – 21!

1 of Lovie Smith’s 9 wins at Illinois is against a FBS team with a .500 or better record and even more AMAZING the Illini have lost…

6 games to teams with sub-.500 records!

Oh….the Freaking Damn Moron who is the AD at Illinois…

Josh Whitman

…just gave Lovie Smith a 2-year contract extension at $5M a season!

Geez…there are so many Stupid People working in college athletics today that cannot see what is right in front of them or as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote and was said by Sherlock Holmes which sums up a lot of college football administration today:

“There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”
Sherlock Holmes, The Boscombe Valley Mystery

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – There are so many people with their hands in the pot at Auburn it’s always hard to know what’s going on across The Plains but over a decade ago we were in Auburn for a football game and a well-known Auburn alum told us over lunch at a diner in Opelika, Alabama (next door to Auburn) that (paraphrased since so long ago but this Auburn alum is still around and he would say the same thing today!)….

“What mainly drives Auburn is what’s happening at Alabama and if Alabama is doing well then that just puts that much more pressure on the head coach at Auburn. Also there are a lot of politics at Auburn that a head coach, athletic director and president at Auburn University need to understand is something that can be managed…for awhile at least…but that eventually the politics will get them unless they have the power to ignore what the folks with the money want which is not really possible.”

Translation for what’s going on at Auburn in 2018: Alabama is rolling under Nick Saban and has been for a decade now and unless the Auburn head coach is able to keep up with Bama he is going to be under pressure and make no mistake about it…

Gus Malzahn needs to win 10+ games in 2019 to be the head coach of the Auburn Tigers one year from today!

In our opinion it was a BIG mistake for Gus Malzahn to not take the Arkansas job which is not only home for Gus but it would have gotten Gus away from the pressure of coaching at Auburn when Nick Saban is across the state coaching Alabama and it would have gotten Gus to a place where 7 to 8 wins a season would have kept him off the Hot Seat.

This is Auburn Football which we have been watching play on TV and in person for 40+ years now and with the resources at Auburn there’s no reason for the school to be so far behind Alabama even if Nick Saban is in T-Town.

Consider Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban’s overall records in the last 6 seasons which is how long Gus has been at Auburn:

Last 6 Seasons

Gus Malzahn: 52 – 27

Nick Saban: 77 – 7

Also consider this….Gus Malzahn has been the head coach at Auburn for 6 seasons and he has lost…

4+ games in 5 of those 6 seasons
5+ games in 4 of those 6 seasons

Oh…Gus Malzahn is making $7 Million Dollars A Year…..losing 5 games in 2018 and in 2018 the Tigers played 8 FBS teams with .500+ records and Auburn’s record in those games was:

4 – 4

For someone being paid $7 Million Dollars A Year!

Auburn plays Purdue on Friday December 28 in the Music City Bowl and that is a Purdue team that finished the season at 6 – 6 even if they did beat Ohio State and we have some news for Gus Malzahn….

Lose to Purdue and you will replace Clay Helton on the Hottest Seat in America going into the 2019 season in the #1 Hot Seat Slot!

The good news for Gus Malzahn is that word from our Arkansas-alum buddy in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who we have known for decades and who has known Gus for decades and likes the guy told us recently….

“If Gus can win at least 7 games at Auburn next year and our coach (Chad Morris) has another disaster of a season Gus must might be able to come home to Arkansas after all.”

Let’s look at Auburn’s 2019 schedule:

Oregon (Dallas)
Tulane
Kent State
At Texas A&M
Mississippi State
At Florida
At Arkansas
At LSU
Ole Miss
Georgia
Samford
Alabama

That looks like another 7 – 5 to us for Auburn in 2019 and if that happens Gus Malzahn will not be the head coach at Auburn a year from today….Hell…anything less than 10 wins and Gus will be gone…but maybe Gus will be the head coach at Arkansas a year from today….which is very doable in our opinion.

More on Chad Morris in a moment.

6.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – The Late Great Johnny Carson who took over the Tonight Show from Jack Paar in 1962 when he was only 37 years old had a saying about being ready in life when your chance on the big stage came along….

“Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: “Are your ready?”

…and let’s just face FACTS here….

Willie Taggart was NOT ready to take over or handle the Florida State job and it showed on the field in 2018 with the Seminoles finishing with a record of 5 – 7 but even worse in the 10 games it played against FBS teams with .500+ records FSU’s record was…

3 – 7

This is Florida State Football and when we say that it means…

This is the Florida State Football program that Bobby Bowden built and Jimbo Fisher revived and that Willie Taggart will either get back on track in 2019 or FSU will have a new head football coach a year from today…PERIOD!

An FSU-alum who a couple of us first met when we were serving in the US Navy in Jacksonville, Florida in the late 1980s and who took us to several FSU football games in Tallahassee called us in August after a business trip to Tallahassee where he checked in on what was going on in Fall Camp for FSU football and he says:

“It’s just all fluff. There is no football being coached or practiced at FSU and I would be stunned if they win 6 games this season.”

Our buddy in Jacksonville was right and it’s going to be very interesting to see how Willie Taggart responds which is a guy we first ran across when he was on Jim Harbaugh’s staff at Stanford and frankly we like Willie but come now…

We are not going to tolerate Mediocre or Worse Football at Florida State and that’s why Willie is going to need 8+ wins in 2019 or he will be gone and it doesn’t get any clearer than that!

Let’s look at Florida State’s 2019 schedule:

Boise State (Jacksonville)
La. Monroe
At Boston College
At Clemson
Louisville
Miami
NC State
Syracuse
At Virginia
At Wake Forest
Alabama State
At Florida

We would be stunned if FSU won more than 7 games in 2019 and if that’s the case….one of the best jobs in college football will come open in late November 2019!

7.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – No one needs to tell us what BYU Football was in the past and still can be today and certainly the 3 year run of Kalani Sitake as the head coach of BYU producing this record…

19 – 19

…is not the BYU Football we grew up nor the BYU Football we are going to accept!

No one at Coaches Hot Seat is a Mormon, but we do have plenty of Mormon friends in Utah and around America and if you have Mormons as friends you know they don’t tend to complain much but we can tell you they are not happy with the current state of their football program at BYU and either Kalaini Sitake is going to get things fixed in Provo or BYU will be forced to find another head coach that can get it done.

Let’s look at BYU’s 2019 schedule:

Utah
At Tennessee
USC
Washington
At Toledo
At South Florida
Boise State
At Utah State
Liberty
Idaho State
At UMass
At San Diego State

Geez….that’s a pretty tough schedule and we gotta think Sitake is going to need 8+ wins in 2019 to keep his job and 8+ wins with that schedule would be pretty impressive!

8.  Chad Morris, Arkansas – It’s hard to know just how bad the Arkansas Football program was when Bret Bielema left but a friend of ours that works on the academic side of the University of Arkansas sent us a note after Bielema was fired and before Morris was hired that said…

“Maybe the next coach won’t allow the football team to be such sloppy pigs. I know we are the Razorbacks but it was just f-ing ridiculous how undisciplined Arkansas was under Bielema!”

Certainly Bret Bielema’s records at Arkansas over 5 seasons of…

Overall:  29 – 34

SEC:  11 – 29

…were bad enough to get both Bielema and former AD Jeff Long fired but could it have been so bad in Fayetteville that it was the poor Leadership and Coaching of Bielema that led to new head coach Chad Morris posting a record of….

2 – 10

….in his first season on the job at Arkansas?

Maybe…or maybe Chad Morris is just an Average Coach who is now sitting on an overall record of…

16 – 32

….in 4 seasons at SMU and Arkansas and from what we saw of the Razorbacks in 2018 which was a good bit….

We didn’t see a Helluva lot!

As mentioned above Gus Malzahn might just become available at the end of the next football season to return to Arkansas if Chad Morris cannot get things rolling and with that in mind let’s look at the 2019 schedule for the Razorbacks:

Portland State
At Ole Miss
Colorado State
San Jose State
Texas A&M
At Kentucky
Auburn
At Alabama
Mississippi State
Western Kentucky
At LSU
Missouri

With 4 Cupcakes on the Arkansas 2019 schedule which is just how folks in SEC Country love their competition = Easy As Hell and Cupcakes Galore…we don’t see why Arkansas doesn’t win at least 6 games in 2019 and if the Hogs don’t win at least 6 games in 2019 Ole Chad Morris is going to find his rear-end on fire because after all….

This Is Arkansas Football!

9.  Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – Virginia Tech was able to get Marshall on their schedule for a make-up game because of the washout of a game earlier this year because of a hurricane to get to 6 – 6 on the season but come now…

The Hokies played 8 FBS Teams in 2018 with .500+ records and their record in those games was….

3 – 5

…and in case some of the folks haven’t been paying attention out there and didn’t get to see Virginia Tech play this season…

Something stinks in Blacksburg and it stinks bad!

We know what Justin Fuente is capable of doing which is a lot but in our opinion he is no more leading the Virginia Tech football program or is capable of leading the Virginia Tech football program right now than the Pillsbury Dough Boy which may mean he is being distracted by something….maybe something personal….or he just forgot how to Lead and to Coach but something’s wrong with the Hokies football program and in our opinion the problem goes deep….very deep!

With Justin Fuente now having lost…

4+ games in ALL 3 of his seasons at Virginia Tech

….and sitting on records of…

Overall:  25 – 14

ACC:  15 – 9

…2019 will be a critical year for Fuente where either the Hokies will continue their downward trend after winning 10 games in 2016 or they will recover and become a power again in the ACC and with that in mind let’s look at Va. Tech’s 2019 schedule:

Furman
Old Dominion
At East Carolina
At Notre Dame
At Boston College
At Georgia Tech
At Miami
At Virginia
Duke
North Carolina
Pitt
Wake Forest

That looks like 7 – 5 to us unless the Hokies get some problems fixed in the offseason and at a place like Virginia Tech going 7 – 5 in your FOURTH year on the job….

Will get your ass fired!

10.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – All of Mike Gundy’s having his name out there for every decent job opening in FBS football the last few seasons came home to roost in 2018 with Oklahoma State being very lucky to finish at 6 – 6 and a Damn Pitiful 3 – 6 in Big 12 Conference play and against FBS teams with .500+ records the Cowboys were….

3 – 5

Yes…Oklahoma State was Damn Lucky to win 6 games in 2018 and one has to wonder if Gundy has lost it with all the rattlesnake rodeo and other Meaingless Horseshit that has nothing to do with winning football games at OSU or maybe there’s something else going on but just our opinion having watched a lot of the Cowboys games in 2018…

Gundy doesn’t look very interested in our humble opinion

…on the sidelines and when the Head Coach is tuned out guess what…

The Coaching Staff and Whole Damn Team tunes out!

Luckily there is something that can focus the mind for Mike Gundy and that is getting his ass fired at his alma mater next season which another 6 or even 7 win season would do and with that in mind let’s look at Oklahoma State’s 2019 schedule:

At Oregon State
McNeese
At Tulsa
At Texas
Kansas State
At Texas Tech
Baylor
At Iowa State
TCU
Kansas
At West Virginia
Oklahoma

Anyone else get the feeling that Mike Gundy will be coaching for his job and career as a head coach when the Cowboys travel to Norman to play Oklahoma on November 30, 2019?

Thought so!

Hey Gundy!

That Tulsa job probably open up next season so you could just slide over to Tulsa from Stillwater so all might not be lost Son!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Laziest Ass College Head Coaches!

Time is getting short for several of these Hot Seat Coaches so let’s get right to it and bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give it straight to these coaches with the bark on!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  David Beaty, Kansas – We are not really sure what is going on at Kansas…

David Beaty still firing away, Tom Keegan, Lawrence World-Journal

…but head coach David Beaty did fire his OC Doug Meacham last week which is like tossing your Executive Officer overboard on US Navy ship as you head towards a reef so you can make sure you hit the reef in the just the right way but come now….in 4 seasons at Kansas Beaty is sitting on records of…

Overall:  5 – 37

Big 12:  1 – 29

…and the Jayhawks still have to play in 2018 games against…

At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

….and we don’t see KU winning any of those games so everyone knows where this is going and as John Wayne said playing character Davey Crockett in the movie The Alamo…

“I always counted on dying, it’s just the where and the when I’m not sure of right now!”

It’s down the Where and the When…just like with Davey Crockett at The Alamo!

2.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – Ole Steve Politi wrote after the Rutgers loss to Maryland on Saturday…

Rutgers has become Blowout U under Chris Ash, Steve Politi, Star-Ledger

….things are really a Damn mess at Rutgers and Chris Ash in 3 years on the job is sitting on records of…

Overall:  7 – 24

Big Ten:  3 – 20

….with still games to be played against in 2018….

Northwestern
At Wisconsin
Michigan
Penn State
At Michigan State

Rutgers is not winning another game in 2018 and when you are a head football coach and in your…

31 st game at a school

…as Chris Ash was coaching on Saturday against Maryland and your team…

Gets Its Ass-Whipped All Over The Damn Field

…and has been…

Getting Its Ass-Whipped All Over the Damn Field All Damn Season

….it matters little that you have a….

$10.35 Million Dollar buyout on December 1, 2018

…because your ass MUST BE BOUGHT OUT….unless of course the people running Rutgers Athletics needs to have their asses fired and run out of town!

3.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – What we saw on Saturday in the Tennessee – Auburn game wasn’t just an…

Inferior Football Team in Tennessee by 2 or 3 times that beat Auburn on its homefield

….but watching a replay of the game we saw….

Auburn Football Players QUITTING

…which makes sense because we wrote in this blog last week that…

Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team!

Now…when we say that Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team we are saying that because we believe there is a reason why Malzahn has QUIT and that reason…in our humble opinion is…

Gus Malzahn in a Petty, Selfish, and in a Big Ego kind of way has created a toxic place for his assistant coaches to work and that has now seeped down to the Auburn players and unless someone owns up….make that Gus Malzahn accepts direct responsibility for his Pitiful Pettiness, Selfishness, and Massive Ego…and apologizes for acting like a Spoiled Pompous Arrogant Ass to his coaches and players…NOTHING is going to change at Auburn and the now…

4 – 3 Tigers

…will be lucky to win another game….YES lucky to even beat Liberty at home in November since Liberty just beat Troy….this season with these games left:

At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

Maybe Gus Malzahn is hoping that Auburn doesn’t win another game and that he will get his ass run off The Plains with $32 million dollars in early December but….we have it on good authority that if Auburn collapses down the stretch and it’s obvious as Hell that Gus Malzahn has Totally Damn QUIT on his football team that Malzahn will have go into court to get that $32M or take a lot less if Auburn runs his ass out of town because when you Flat-Out QUIT your ass is not fulfilling the obligations inherent in being the…

Head Football Coach of the Auburn Tigers!

What is probably coming for Gus Malzahn and the Auburn football team?

Trouble….we see lots of trouble ahead with potentially the President at Auburn getting fired followed by Gus Malzahn getting fired and anyone else that signed-off on the Idiocy of giving someone a 7 year $49 million fully guaranteed contract getting their asses out of Auburn….that’s the trouble that is coming plus a few other items as well if this does indeed implode that will make the insanity around Terry Bowden getting run from Auburn almost 3 decades ago look sane by comparison!

4.  Randy Edsall, Connecticut – During this past Summer when about a dozen Coaches Hot Seat members were on our 2018 See America RV Tour which included visits to 30 US states we drove from Gettysburg Battlefield in Pennsylvania to the Hartford area to spend the night before heading into Boston the next day. We went to Hartford because we wanted to meet with a UConn alum + booster of ours to talk to him about Randy Edsall and he met us at a great barbecue restaurant near the Hartford airport called the Bear’s Smokehouse.

We cannot recommend Bear’s Smokehouse – The Official BBQ of the UConn Huskies by the way – enough to folks love barbecue, and on that night when we asked our UConn alum + booster buddy about Edsall his response was a Sigh and then…

“It’s a Damn Mess and has been for awhile. (meaning UConn football.) In my opinion anything less than 6 wins this season and Randy is gone, but who would we hire?”

Our UConn alum + booster passed along a few other tidbits about UConn football we will not post in this spot for various reasons, but if Randy Edsall does need to win 6 games in 2018 then the 1 – 5 Huskies with only a win over FCS Rhode Island and still to play these games…

At South Florida
UMass
At Tulsa
SMU
At East Carolina
Temple

….better Damn get busy but come now…is there anyone on Earth thinks UConn will win more than one more game the rest of this season?

Didn’t think so!

We happen to know 3 or 4 coaches we think could turn around and win at UConn in a short amount of time which we passed along to our UConn alum + booster and let’s hope he has passed those names along to the folks at UConn because it looks like 2018 is going to be nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster for the Huskies!

5.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – By all rights North Carolina should have beaten Virginia Tech on Saturday before losing 22 – 19 to the Hokies at home and with that loss Larry Fedora is…

5 – 16

….in his last 21 games at UNC and things don’t get any easier with these games left in 2018…

At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

We would guess that UNC maybe wins 2 more games to finish at…

3 – 9

…for the second straight season and Larry Fedora’s buyout on December 1, 2018….

$12.2 Million Dollars!

Now that is Freaking Hilarious because we would not give a contract like that to Nick Saban but then we don’t work in the Total Damn Freaking Fantasyland that is a college campus where ADs make contracts with coaches with…

Other People’s Money

…so what the Hell do they care if they create Totally Damn Stupid contracts?

Hint: They don’t care at all!

Thus why there are so many asinine contracts in college football and also because Athletic Directors and Presidents are…

So Damn Easy To Roll!

6.  Brent Brennan, San Jose State – In Brent Brennan’s 19 th game as the head football coach at San Jose State his team got beat by Army….at home mind you…by the score of…

52 – 3

…which leaves Brennan’s records at…

Overall:  2 – 17

MWC:  1 – 10

Oh…San Jose State now at 0 – 6 on the season still has to play in 2018 games against…

At San Diego State
UNLV
At Wyoming
At Utah State
Nevada
At Fresno State

That looks like at best…a record of….

1 – 11

…for San Jose State in Brennan’s second year on the job and that is not something we would tolerate if we were the AD at SJSU but then come now…if we were the AD at SJSU we would be interested in actually…

Finding a Head Football Coach that could Win Some Football Games

…not looking for a coach that checks off a few boxes and gets recommendations from a few people….many of them out of the game of football because they also got their asses run out of jobs!

That’s just us now and then you have ADs that Don’t Know Their Asses From the Side of a Barn when it comes to hiring football coaches…hiring fraud football coaches that have No Damn Idea how to lead a football program and to win football games on a regular basis across America!

7.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – Louisville lost to Boston College on Saturday by the score of…

38 – 20

…which drops the Cardinals record down to 2 – 5 on the year with games still to play against…

Wake Forest
At Clemson
At Syracuse
NC State
Kentucky

We don’t think Louisville will win another game this season and that Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats will DESTROY Louisville in the last game of the season which will be followed by Bobby Petrino being fired by the AD at Louisville.

That is all.

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Lovie Smith coached his 30 th football game at Illinois against Purdue and his team lost at home to a team with roughly the same amount of talent in Purdue by the score of…

46 – 7

…and what you saw on Saturday was…

Jeff Brohm – A College Head Coach That Has A Damn Clue

Lovie Smith – A College Head Coach That Has No Damn Clue

….and if you cannot figure out a way to not Get Your Damn Ass Whipped All Over The Damn Field in your 30 th game as a head coach going against a team with the same talent as you…

Your Ass Is NEVER Going To Figure It Out!

Lovie Smith is his third year coaching the Illini and his records now stand at…

Overall:  8 – 22

Big Ten:  3 – 18

…and Illinois still have games left against…

At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

We don’t see Illinois winning another game in 2018 but Lovie is being paid…

$5 Million Dollars A Year

…and has a buyout on December 1, 2018 of…

$12.6 Million Dollars!

Freaking Hilarious!

Josh Whitman is the AD at Illinois and not only was the hiring of Lovie Smith to coach a college football team…

Incredibly Asinine

..but to give a guy who had never been a college head football coach the above contract in our opinion means that…

Josh Whitman’s ass should be fired today

…but come now…we are talking about an AD here where being…

Stupid As Hell is actually a Freaking Job Requirement!

Anyone that tells you someone is smart because they are an attorney we note that Josh Whitman’s Wikipedia entry says he was graduated…

Summa Cum Laude from the Illinois School of Law!

Now that’s Freaking Hilarious because when Lovie Smith was hired by Illinois three years ago a friend of ours that has worked in the NFL for 30+ years said to us….

“This will turn out to be the Stupidest Hire in recent college football history!”

Close…but there’s a few even worse with Charlie Weis being hired by Kansas easily in our opinion the…

Worst Hire since the end of World War II in major college football

….but Lovie Smith being hired by Illinois might just be #2!

9.  Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – So let’s get this straight….

Paul Johnson had a long-term grudge against Louisville defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder so Johnson’s Georgia Tech team whips the Cardinals by a score of…

66 – 31

….but then that same team led by the same coach loses to Duke at home a week later by the score of…

28 – 14

Now what Damn sense does that make and why in the Hell was Paul Johnson not fired on the field after the Duke game?

We have several Georgia Tech alum friends been fed-up with Paul Johnson’s Horseshit for years now and being good engineers who work their asses off in their day jobs they don’t let that the Yellow Jackets look like Total Shit on the field really bother their daily lives but come now…

Over the past two seasons Georgia Tech’s combined record now stands at…

8 – 10

…and Tech still has to play in 2018 games against…

At Virginia Tech
At North Carolina
Miami
Virginia
At Georgia

What…Tech might win 2 more games in 2018 and finish with a second straight 5 win season in Paul Johnson’s 11 th year at the school where Johnson seems more interested in settling scores with other coaches than winning Games and Championships?

Exactly why we would have fired Paul Johnson on the field right after the Duke game on Saturday!

10.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – It’s not easy to find out what’s going on at schools around the country with their football programs on a day-to-day basis with the way coaches hide their football programs from most everyone, but we hear enough things from our contacts and by reading things in the media to form opinions and something we have been kicking around at Coaches Hot Seat for about a year is new Coaches Ranking called the…

Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches

…and in our opinion if we had to list the 10 Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches who in our opinion do a Helluva Lot less work than other coaches around the country the that list would start with…

1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn
2.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State

Why is it our opinion that Gus Malzahn and Mike Gundy are the 2 Laziest Ass College Football Head Coaches in America?

We don’t have to answer that question because…it’s our opinion as Americans and US Military Combat Vets and Mike “I Am A Man but a Lazy Ass Man In Our Opinion” Gundy can stuff that opinion…

Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine!

Even if Mike Gundy is Lazy As Hell….and in our opinion Ole Gundy is Lazy As Hell and has been for a couple of years now as he has shopped his ass around to any school with a job opening that might consider his ass…be lucky you didn’t hire him because Gundy is Lazy As Hell in our opinion….what has landed Gundy on the Hot Seat is the performance of his football team which after losing to a…

Pitiful Kansas State team on Saturday

…is now 4 – 3 on the season and things aren’t going to get any better because…

When Your Head Coach is Lazy As Hell

…and you still have to play games against…

Texas
At Baylor
At Oklahoma
West Virginia
At TCU

…there’s a decent chance the Cowboys don’t win another game this season and checking the USA Today Coaches Salaries list we see that Gundy’s buyout on December 1, 2018 is…

$16.25 Million Dollars

…and that might be a number that T. Boone Pickens would be wise to write a check for since Ole Boone is 90 years old and if he wants to see Okie State win a national title that’s not something he will see with a..

Lazy Ass Head Coach in Stillwater!

Memo to T. Boone Pickens:  Boone, we know a Helluva Head Football Coach that would love to have the Oklahoma State job and in addition to not being Lazy As Hell like Mike Gundy he could win in 2019 so you might want to get that checkbook out and make it out to…

Mike Gundy

…for $16.25 Million Dollars and on the comments line just write in:

To fire the 2 nd Damn Laziest Coach in College Football!

In our humble opinion of course!

You want the name of that coach Boone just give us a call…you should have our number!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – CFB Season Just “Feels Good” Like Glen Campbell’s Gentle On My Mind – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – Yes…Still Millions Of Racists In America and It Seems….Some Communists in Kansas!

 

Well that has been one Helluva two weeks to start the college football season for us here at Coaches Hot Seat…what about for you folks?

At least in our households there is nothing that can get the attention of everyone from the kids to the adults…including our wives…like the game of football and it’s fascinating to see the anticipation for the football season and the games unfold each week and year. Only the Olympic Games from our younger days in the 1970s through 2000 or so created as much excitement as the game of football in our lives and Good, Bad or Indifferent it’s great to have football back which when you get down to it just “Feels Good” like Glen Campbell singing Gentle On My Mind:

Thank You Glen Campbell and now let’s bring out the Late Great Johnny Cash to send a message to the Coaches on the Hot Seat!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – We are not sure how many games that Todd Graham needs to win in 2017 to return as the head coach of the Sun Devils next season but Arizona State President Michael Crow in a story in the Arizona Republic earlier this year made it clear he was raised by Real Americans in making the below comments on the importance of ASU football winning on a regular basis:

“”Losing records over more than one year in any sport are unacceptable,” Crow said. “You have to look at what the reasons are and the dynamics, but (football) coach (Todd) Graham completely understands that his very successful start at ASU has got to be realized again.”

Graham’s teams were 28-12 from 2012-14 and 11-14 since (39-26 overall). He is going into his sixth season with five new assistant coaches including both coordinators and four years left on his contract after not receiving a one-year extension as he had in the past.

“We’ve got tremendous athletes, new coordinators, new thoughtful additions to the coaching staff,” Crow said. “Coach Graham is completely energized. I don’t think it’s possible for him to be un-energized. We’re exciting about bringing all of that together. We think we’ve got a great culture that’s been evolving. We’re excited about this season, but losing seasons at our level of performance expectation are unacceptable.” “

Yep…that’s about as Damn Clear as an university president can get when it comes to what he or she expects out of their football program and Bravo for President Crow in being upfront and having high expectations because having high expectations for oneself and the company or institution you work for is not only what made America GREAT it’s what has defined the American Republic from the start!

Getting back to Todd Graham the worst thing that could have happened to Todd Graham was for him to lose any of his three non-conference games against New Mexico State, San Diego State and Texas Tech, but on Saturday night ASU lost to a very good San Diego State team and now has to play Texas Tech in Lubbock in what is seriously a MUST WIN Game for Todd Graham and his Sun Devils with NINE Pac-12 Conference games still on the slate and a tough slate it is after Tech:

Oregon
At Stanford
Washington
At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

Damn! Let’s assume for a moment that Todd Graham could get away with 7 wins and thus return for the 2018 season as the head coach at Arizona State…if ASU falls to 1 – 2 after a loss to Texas Tech where in the Hell are 6 more wins out of the remaining 9 games on the Arizona State schedule?

Yep….Todd Graham better Damn get his team straightened out before they get to Lubbock and they better Damn score 45 points if they want to be the Red Raiders on Saturday!

2.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – There are lots of folks in the media talking about how many games Notre Dame has lost in the last year by “less than one score” and we have some news for the folks who we like to call the…

“Cry Me A River of Tears Non-Fighting Irish Enablers”

….in the last 16 games under Brian Kelly Notre Dame’s record is…

5 – 11

The funny thing is that the folks from Georgia actually think they went to South Bend and actually accomplished something when in FACT they only did what James Franklin said beating Pitt felt like to the Nittany Lions…

“Like beating Akron!”

Yep fans of Georgia Football…your asses just beat Akron wearing gold helmets and you are one of the….

11 teams

…that have beaten Notre Dame in their last 16 games so don’t act like you have done anything big boys because you haven’t!

As for the future of Brian Kelly who proved once again in the post-Georgia game press conference that he is a…

Pompous Arrogant Ass that believes he invented the Sun, the Stars and all that we peons see in the sky

…in our opinion we have it on good authority that if Kelly wins less than 9 games in 2017 his ass is DONE in South Bend!

Here’s what Notre Dame has left on their schedule now at 1 – 1 on the year and look for 8 more wins for the Irish in 2017 with us:

At Boston College
At Michigan State
Miami (Ohio)
At North Carolina
USC
NC State
Wake Forest
At Miami
Navy
At Stanford

Well…Notre Dame has more talent than every team remaining on their schedule save the USC Trojans so how many games might Brian Kelly and the Irish win out of the 10 remaining?

Our guess….Notre Dame will be lucky to win 7 games in 2017 and that means one of the highest profile jobs in FBS football will open up in late November – early December and one’s gotta think that if the Irish job does open up that the first call will be to Bob Stoops to see if he’s interested in getting back into coaching and if Bob isn’t interested then we know who the second call will be to but we don’t want to throw that coach’s name out there since he might have a shot at getting his team into the College Football Playoff this year and he doesn’t need the Damn headache of a mention with the Notre Dame job!

3.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – A few of us were watching a tape of the Nicholls – Texas A&M game on Sunday night and the Aggies….don’t look like that great of a football team and in our opinion don’t look like they are all that interested in playing football in our opinion…but then it was Nicholls the Aggies were playing and this week A&M gets La. Lafayette or Louisiana as they like to be called now, and if the Aggies play like they did against Nichols against Louisiana their asses will get beat and that should get someone’s attention in College Station one would think!

As for the racist letter that Kevin Sumlin received this past week that his wife posted on Twitter we have no problem with people speaking out against racism when they experience it or identifying racists directly when they come into contact with them. The Lily-White Boys at Coaches Hot Seat raised in the 1970s-80s were primarily raised in California by parents that would not tolerate racism or bigotry or any kind and would even jump down your ass if you didn’t respect older people and say “Yes Sir and Yes Ma’am” when interacting with them and our Fathers…Oh Damn…we were raised in a time in America when Fathers…no doubt like Kevin Sumlin’s father…who would use the belt on our asses if we did something bad enough that called for the belt and no doubt if we used the belt on our kids today like out Dads did they would haul our asses away to the jail!

One thing in particular that a few of our Fathers instilled in us was that we should not let someone make a racist statement and get away with it if we were in a place where it was appropriate to do or say something about it, and on more than one occasion we have been in situations where other white folks have said something racist that we have responded to in a verbal way that in a few situations escalated to a physical altercation, but then that is what our Fathers would have expected of us. The most surprising thing about the racist letter sent to Kevin Sumlin’s house is that anyone is surprised that there are Millions of Racists in America that hold racist views of people that don’t look or act or talk or generally aren’t exactly like them and for those that were surprised we have a Newsflash for you….

There are Millions of Racists in America!

The Great Bobby Bowden has a terrific quote on about treating people that are harsh to you “with kindness” because it really kills them when you do that, but a few years ago a couple of us were with our wives at a party near the Pebble Beach Golf Resort on the Monterey Peninsula which was all white folks and some guy says something very racist about black people that we will not repeat in this blog post and the two of us can remember well our wives looking at each other who were no doubt thinking that they were about to leave this party which is exactly what happened but not before the two of us hauled the guy that made the racist comment out on the patio and throttled his ass which our wives weren’t thrilled with but made us feel good! The thing is when you play sports and you serve in the US Military you are forced to work, live, eat, and play with people from all kinds of backgrounds, colors, creeds, religions, philosophies on life, etc., and you cannot be around people that are different than you and but come away with a Helluva lot different view of life than people that have spent their entire lives in one town, around one type of people, and living one kind of life and it’s too bad that all Americans can’t play sports and serve in the military because it would do a Helluva lot of good for our country….in our humble opinion.

Getting back to Kevin Sumlin the word on the street in Texas is that anything less than 10 wins in 2017 and Sumlin will be out of a job come late November and now at 1 – 1 on the season here is what the Aggies have left to play:

Louisiana
Arkansas (Dallas)
South Carolina
Alabama
At Florida
Mississippi State
Auburn
New Mexico
At Ole Miss
At LSU

In our opinion A&M has more talent than every team remaining on its schedule except for Alabama and LSU and the Aggies have roughly equal talent to Florida and Auburn so assume the Aggies lose to Alabama at home and to LSU in Baton Rouge that is only 9 wins and we don’t think 9 wins in 2017 is going to get it done for Sumlin unless maybe that 9th win was over LSU in Baton Rouge to end the season….now that might get Sumlin one more year to prove he can turn the Aggies into a serious contender for the SEC Conference Title which in our opinion the Aggies should be in the middle of…

Every Damn Year!

For those that don’t know it the Main Reason Kevin Sumlin is on the Hot Seat are the below two records:

SEC: 21 – 19

Against FBS Teams: 26 – 22

At Texas A&M that’s just flat-out…Not Good Enough!

4.   Mark Whipple, UMass – Mark Whipple and UMass lost to Old Dominion at home on Saturday to drop the Minutemen’s record to 0 – 3 in 2017 and Whipple’s record in the last four years at UMass now stands at:

8 – 21

Damn…that’s not a good thing Martha Stewart who lives up UMass way might say!

Can UMass win a game in 2017?

At Temple
At Tennessee
Ohio
At USF
Georgia Southern
Appalachian State
At Mississippi State
Maine
At BYU

Maybe the Minutemen can beat a struggling Georgia Southern team and maybe they can beat the Maine Black Bears….Maybe!

5.  Lance Leipold, Buffalo – With Buffalo’s loss to Army on Saturday in a close game by the score of 21 – 17 Lance Leipold’s records at Buffalo now stand at:

Overall:  7 – 19

MAC:  4 – 12

Those are “Firing Numbers” is what a certain member at Coaches Hot Seat would say in this spot and he would be right!

Up next for Buffalo is a MUST WIN game against Colgate and then they host FAU on September 23 in a game that if Leipold and the Bulls win will launch Lane Kiffin’s ass back onto the Hot Seat and Oh that will be fun to be roasting Lane Kiffin’s ass again here at Coaches Hot Seat so….

Memo to Lance Leipold: Beat Colgate and FAU Son!

6.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – After the Total Debacle of a loss to Eastern Michigan on Saturday Rutgers head coach Chris Ash is now facing the MUST WIN Game of all-time on Saturday in a home game against FCS Morgan State and in our opinion if Ash can’t win this game his ass should be fired right after the game and told to turn in the keys to his courtesy car because….

You are done Son!

OK…let’s assume Rutgers beats Morgan State to improve to 1 – 2 on the season which is only right since a loss in this spot and….Ash is done…what does Rutgers have left after the Morgan State game?

At Nebraska – Loss
Ohio State – Loss
At Illinois – Who knows
Purdue – Loss
At Michigan – Loss
Maryland – Loss
At Penn State – Loss
At Indiana – Loss
Michigan State – Who knows

OK….Rutgers COULD win 3 games in 2017 if everything goes right and every fan of Rutgers football that just read that line put his or her head down and said…

“The Hell with the whole Damn thing!”

7.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – Last week in the Must Win Game blog post we said that Bret Bielema’s record against FBS schools was 14 – 25 in 5 seasons at Arkansas when in fact his record against FBS schools is now after the TCU game…

20 – 27

…and his record against Power 5 Conference schools now stands at….

14 – 26

OK…Bret Bielema is making…

$4.4 Million Dollars A Year

…and he has already been paid by Arkansas…

$16+ Million Dollars

…and here’s the kicker if Bret Bielema is fired anytime between now and December 31, 2017 his buyout is….

$15.4 Million Dollars

…which Doc Harper over at the Arkansas Fight website points out is the second biggest potential buyout number in college football history only behind Charlie Weis at Notre Dame who was given a contract that only a…

Total Damn Moron that knows NOTHING about Football

….would have given to Weis so what does this massive…

$15.4 Million Dollars

…buyout say about Arkansas AD Jeff Long who has given a contact north of….

$30 Million Dollars

….to a coach who has a record in SEC Conference play of…

10 – 22

….against FBS teams of…

20 – 27

…and against Power 5 schools of…

14 – 26

That would make Jeff Long a Damn Moron of a very High Order just behind the Damn Morons at Notre Dame that signed Charlie Weis to a long-term deal when no one at Coaches Hot Seat would have EVER hired Charlie Weis to wash our cars forget about being our head football coach!

Last week we said that Texas A&M fans should be proud of Being Average because Kevin Sumlin had posted records of…

SEC:  .525

Against FBS Teams:  .542

…so guess what Bret Bielema’s records are….

SEC: .313

Against FBS Teams:  .426

Forget Being Average fans of Arkansas Football…Be Very Damn Proud…you are…

Way Damn Below Average Folks!

Oh…now at 1 – 1 on the season here is what Arkansas has left after looking like Crapola against TCU which if the Horned Frogs hadn’t made a bunch of stupid mistakes could have beaten the Razorbacks by 30+ instead of 21!

Texas A&M
New Mexico State
At South Carolina
At Alabama
Auburn
At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

Arkansas has plenty of talent to win at least 8 games in 2017 but how many games will the Razorbacks win….our guess….

6

…and would a 6 – 6 record keep Bret Bielema employed for another season at Arkansas?

Consider this for a moment….

When Houston Nutt was fired at Arkansas in 2007 his records coaching the Razorbacks in 10 seasons were…

Overall:  75 – 48

SEC:  42 – 38

…and Bret Bielema’s records now stand at…

Overall:  26 – 27

SEC:  10 – 22

You do the Damn math Arkansas fans and please if you can come up with a legitimate reason why Bret Bielema has a $15.4 million dollar buyout please let us know because we cannot think of one Damn reason he has such a contract at Arkansas….not counting of course that Jeff Long is a…

Damn Moron

…which is actually the only Damn thing that makes any Damn sense!

We have some news for Jeff Long…if Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas….your ass may just get fired before your ass gets back to Fayetteville Son!

8.  Rich Rodriguez, Arizona – There just is no Damn good excuse for Arizona losing to Houston at home in Tucson in Rich Rodriguez’s 6 th season coaching the Wildcats and now in Arizona’s last 20 games Rodriguez’s football team has posted a record of…

6 – 14

….and RichRod’s records at Arizona now stand at:

Overall:  37 – 30

Pac-12:  18 – 26

At Arizona Rich Rodriguez or any other head football coach can get away with winning 7-plus games a year and going to a bowl game each season BUT he cannot get away with posting losing records, and another losing record in 2017, in our humble opinion, RichRod will be fired at season’s end and now at 1 – 1 here is what the Wildcats have left….

At UTEP
Utah
At Colorado
UCLA
At Cal
Washington State
At USC
Oregon State
At Oregon
At Arizona State

We see no reason at all that Rich Rodriguez should not be able to lead Arizona to at least 6 wins in 2017 which would mean winning 5 of the remaining 10 games which is a small hurdle to get across in our opinion when you are in your 6 th season on the job and more than likely 6 wins is all RichRod needs to be back in 2018.

9.  Scottie Montgomery, East Carolina – A Fundamental Rule of Firing and Hiring is that if you going to Fire someone make Damn sure you have or will Hire someone better than the person you Fired and in our opinion when Ruffin McNeil was fired after 6 seasons as the head coach at East Carolina posting records of…

Overall:  42 – 34

Conference:  30 – 18

…which was a very dubious move by the ECU AD in our opinion it just made no Damn sense that East Carolina hired Scottie Montgomery in his place who in 2 seasons has posted records of…

Overall:  3 – 11

Conference:  1 – 7

East Carolina is now 0 – 2 on the season after losses to James Madison and West Virginia and still has to play games against…

Virginia Tech
South Florida
Temple
At UCF
BYU
At Houston
At UConn
Tulane
Cincinnati
At Memphis

Will East Carolina win a game in 2017?

ECU will maybe win 1….Possibly 2 games in 2017 and if East Carolina only wins 2 games in 2017 then we fully expect that Scottie Montgomery will be held to the same standard as Ruffin McNeil and will be fired in late November….unless of course Montgomery is being held to a lower standard of some kind by the folks at ECU!

10.  David Beaty, Kansas – We here at Coaches Hot Seat couldn’t help but laugh when we saw this news story earlier this year about Kansas head coach David Beaty…

David Beaty firmly on cold seat as head coach at Kansas, Benton Smith, Lawrence Journal-World

Cold Seat? What the Hell is that?

Of course the above article is based up Dennis Dodd’s Hot Seat Ratings and maybe Dennis who doesn’t live to far from KU also embraces…

Socialism + Communism

…because if David Beaty’s job is safe at Kansas with records in 3 years on the job of…

Overall:  3 – 23

Big 12:  1 – 17

….then we have to wonder where exactly the folks at the University of Kansas were raised because…

It could NOT have been in America NOR by Real Americans!

You see…if you are raised in America by Real Americans you don’t accept Losing and you expect Excellence but then the same Damn Moron AD at Kansas that hired David Beaty hired Charlie Weis so then we are not so much dealing with…

Non-Real Americans

…at Kansas as just….

Total Damn Morons!

Now at 1 – 1 on the season after a win over SE Missouri State and a loss to Central Michigan at home here is what Kansas has left in 2017:

At Ohio
West Virginia
Texas Tech
At Iowa State
At TCU
Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas
Oklahoma
At Oklahoma State

Got 1 and Freaking 11 Cold Seat David Beaty?

Well….Kansas might beat able to beat Baylor which has a team that looks like it has flat-out quit on Matt Rhule already so maybe you can get to 2 – 10 Cold Seat Beaty and if you get to 2 – 10 no doubt the followers of…

Lenin, Stalin and Marx

…in Lawrenceville, Kansas will be proud and might even given you another contract extension!

Oh to be working for Dumb and Stupid Communists….

What else could an American ask for…it’s like Lifetime Employment even if you are Sorry As Hell at your job!  Lenin and Staling would be so proud of the University of Kansas!

The 11th College Football Season of Coaches Hot Seat Kicks-Off! – 2017 Post Week One Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

 

Coaches Hot Seat was first dreamed up in October 2006 as a way to help force out then Stanford head football coach Walt Harris among a group of close friends who were having drinks at the Balboa Café in the Marina District of San Francisco, and here we are in September 2017 with Coaches Hot Seat now entering its 11 th college football season…a second decade now begins…with that same group of close friends tossing out their opinions from the peanut gallery about the relative status of college football head coaches job status vis-à-vis the warmth of their asses!

Coaches Hot Seat has been great fun from the start and has grown from a few close friends to over 170 members of Coaches Hot Seat now that mainly are members it seems to attend the annual Coaches Hot Seat Summer Clambake at Lake Tahoe each August where we have one Helluva great time talking football and the upcoming college football season and CHS members also help to shape the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings each week.

With that in mind let’s get to the business at hand which is the….

2017 Post Week One Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

…which means let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give the coaches on the Hot Seat a wake-up call!

Thank You Mr. Cash and away we go on the 11 th season of Coaches Hot Seat

1.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – If you thought watching the Total Meltdown of Kevin Sumlin and the Texas A&M coaching staff in the Rose Bowl on Sunday night was nothing short of a Total Disaster then watching a replay of the game only makes things worse because one could take a look at each play and see mistake….after mistake….after mistake…after mistake by Sumlin and the Aggies Coaches that flat-out….

Robbed the A&M players of what should have been a win over UCLA!

It’s easy to look at the second-half of the A&M – UCLA game and point to many Beyond Stupid mistakes made by Kevin Sumlin and the A&M coaching staff, but the Idiocy actually began in the first quarter with the Aggies up 7 – 3 and the Bruins fumbling the ball and an A&M player returning it to the 3 yard line which was followed by A&M OC Noel Mazzone calling the following plays:

Fade to Left-Side of the End Zone
Fade to Right-Side of the End Zone
2 Yard Run to 1 Yard Line

Followed by a field goal putting the Aggies up 10 – 3 over UCLA.

Why didn’t Aggies OC Noel Mazzone just run the Damn ball right down the Bruins throat from the 3 yard line you ask when A&M was gashing the Bruins for over 7 yards a carry in the game?

Damn Good Question but this is just the beginning of the Damn Idiocy that was capped off in the second-half by what we hear at Coaches Hot Seat believe to be…

A Series of the Stupidest Coaching Decisions in the History of College Football in America

…which at Texas A&M dates back to 1894!

By now everyone that follows college football closely must know that Texas A&M went up by the score of….

Aggies – 44
Bruins – 10

…after a field goal with 4:08 left in the 3 rd quarter of the game. At this point there should have been NO CHANCE IN HELL of UCLA winning this football game unless Kevin Sumlin and the A&M coaches committed a series of blunders that would make the Stupidest Human Beings on the Earth look like Mensa members and guess what….that is exactly what happened!

Following the Aggies field goal to pt them up 44 – 10 over UCLA the Bruins then scored in 2 minutes to make the score 44 – 17 with 2:06 left in the 3 rd Quarter and this is what Kevin Sumlin and his offensive coaches did the rest of the game leading to one of the great meltdowns in college football history:

Aggies Remaining Offensive Plays in the Game after up 44 – 17:

1. Run for no gain
2. Run for 6 yards
3. Incomplete Pass
4. Punt

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 24

5. Run for 1 yard
6. Incomplete Pas
7. Run for 14 yards
8. Run for 3 yards
9. Run for 8 yards
10. Complete Pass
11. Sack loss of 10 yards
12. Run for 1 yard
13. Punt

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 31

14. Pass Complete
15. Run for 6 yards
16. Incomplete Pass
17. Run for 12 yards
18. Run for 7 yards
19. Run for loss 1 yard

With ball on 16 yard line and a made field goal making the score 47 – 31 or a two TD and two 2-point conversion game Aggies OC Noel Mazzone calls a pass play and….

20. Sack for loss of 9 yards

…which leads to a 43 yard field goal miss by the Aggies kicker instead of what should have been at most a 32 yard field goal if not shorter if Noel Mazzone had just RUN THE DAMN BALL on third down!

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 38

21. Run for 2 yards
22. Incomplete Pass
23. Sack for loss of 5 yards
24. Punt

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 45

The four plays in the last A&M series when the Aggies failed to get a first down are not that important because it was desperation time, but look the other plays above and see the Total Damn Idiocy especially when one realizes that at halftime A&M was averaging over….

6 Yards-Plus Per Run

….and in the second-half when the Aggies could have Stuff the Ball down the Bruins throats with their run game they not only called way Damn too many pass plays they also at the most critical time of the game when a made field goal would have at worst gotten the Aggies into overtime against UCLA a pass play was called with a true freshman QB on the field who not surprisingly took a big loss on a sack which led to a critical missed field goal and in our opinion….

This was level of Stupid Coaching that has not been seen in FBS Football since Charlie Weis was the head coach at Notre Dame!

In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat Kevin Sumlin did nothing less than GUT his own players by allowing his coaches to make one Stupid Damn Decision after another and for that he should have already been fired and the Aggies could have hired ANY high school coach on ANY level from ANYWHERE in the State of Texas and be the Aggies players would be getting better coaching today!

Let’s look at Kevin Sumlin’s records in six seasons at Texas A&M:

Overall: 44 – 22

SEC: 21 – 19

Against FBS Teams: 26 – 22

Against Group of 6 Teams: 12 – 0

Against FCS Teams: 6 – 0

Yep…take away the 18 Cupcakes that Keivn Sumlin has played and beat at A&M and we are talking about winning percentages of…

SEC: .525

Against FBS Teams: .542

…and for the above Very Average Records Kevin Sumlin has already been paid north of….

$25 Million Dollars

….and Texas A&M still owes Sumlin over $11 Million Dollars if they fired him today!

$35+ Million Dollars for a .542 record against FBS teams and .525 record in SEC play?

What kind of Damn Idiots are running Texas A&M University exactly?

Let’s not forget something else in this spot….

Last November at Kyle Field in College Station A&M led Ole Miss by 15 points entering the 4 th quarter before losing 29 – 28 and more to the point in Texas A&M last SIX games against FBS teams Kevin Sumlin’s record is…

0 – 6!

That’s right…Texas A&M has not beaten an FBS team since last October 8 when the Aggies beat Tennessee in double-overtime in College Station!

Luckily for Kevin Sumlin he is working at place….

Texas A&M University

…that embraces and celebrates AVERAGE and thus he can get away with winning percentages like…

.542 and .525

….and A&M has Nicholls and La. Lafayette to play at home in their next two games before playing Arkansas in Dallas on September 23 but then from Arkansas on it’s….

Arkansas (Dallas)
South Carolina
Alabama
At Florida
Mississippi State
Auburn
New Mexico
At Ole Miss
At LSU

…which to us looks like 7 or 8 wins for the Aggies in 2017 and based upon what the folks running Texas A&M have been willing to accept in the past maybe they will continue to accept…

Average

…now tied to the Complete Damn Stupidity of the UCLA game and the beat in College Station will go on for another year!

Be Proud Aggies…YOU are Average As Hell!

2.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – In the last two seasons at Arizona State Todd Graham has posted combined records of…

Overall: 11 – 14

Pac-12: 6 – 12

….and it seems clear from the noise coming out of Tempe that it’s going to probably take 8 wins plus in 2017 for Graham to be coaching the Sun Devils in 2018 and it wasn’t exactly a rousing start to this season in beating a very weak New Mexico State team 37 – 31, and if ASU plays like that the rest of the year there’s not a chance in Hell that Graham will be the head coach come December. Now at 1 – 0 on the year here is what ASU has left to play:

San Diego State
At Texas Tech
Oregon
At Stanford
Washington
At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

Can Todd Graham find 7 wins+ out of the Sun Devils remaining 11 games?

We don’t see it which means a very good job in Arizona State could be opening up come late November.

3.  Tony Sanchez, UNLV – The first time that anyone at Coaches Hot Seat ran into Tony Sanchez he was the head football coach at California High School in San Ramon, California which is in the East Bay of San Francisco and where Tony coached for five years before taking over and having a very successful run at Bishop Gorman High School in Las Vegas which led to him getting the UNLV job in 2015 which has led to the following records at UNLV after the disastrous opening season loss to the Howard University football team on Saturday night:

Overall: 7 – 18

MWC: 5 – 11

Those are not so great records for Tony Sanchez and the Rebels have left play this season….

At Idaho
At Ohio State
San Jose State
San Diego State
At Air Force
Utah State
At Fresno State
Hawaii
BYU
At New Mexico
At Nevada

…and it’s just a guess on our part with a new AD at UNLV on the job in Desiree Reed-Francois on the job who came over from Virginia Tech Sanchez is going to need 6-plus wins in 2017 to be the head coach of the Rebels in 2018, and if Sanchez can find 6 wins out of the above 11 remaining games he should return as the head coach at UNLV and get an extension on his contract as well!

4.  Mark Whipple, UMass – Since returning to coach at UMass in 2014 after an earlier stint coaching the Minutemen on the FCS level between 1998 – 2003 Mark Whipple has posted a record of…

Overall: 8 – 30

…over the last four seasons and an 0 – 2 start to 2017 with losses to Hawaii and Coastal Carolina doesn’t exactly give us confidence that Whipple will be the head coach at UMass when Santa shows up in late December!

What’s left for UMass this season:

Old Dominion – Loss
At Temple – Loss
At Tennessee – Loss
Ohio – Loss
At USF – Loss
Georgia Southern – Maybe Win
Appalachian State – Loss
At Mississippi State – Loss
Maine – Maybe Win
At BYU – Loss

That’s a 2 – 10 record at best in our minds for UMass in 2017 and more than likely a new head football coach for the Minutemen in 2018….in our humble opinion.

5.  Lance Leipold, Buffalo – Buffalo looked decent against Minnesota in the opening game of the season BUT in his third year on the job coaching the Bulls head coach Lance Leipold now has records of…

Overall: 7 – 18

MAC: 4 – 12

….on the board and we rather doubt that Leipold will be able to survive another losing season….but then this is Buffalo we are talking about and maybe Leipold can survive another sub .500 record and return to coach the Bulls again in 2018 which would be fine with us here at Coaches Hot Seat since we don’t have a dog in this fight or in any fight for that matter when it comes to Buffalo!

6.  Tom Herman, Texas – Earlier this year a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were down in Austin for business plus fishing with our Texas-alum buddies and over a BBQ dinner we asked how the Tom Herman-era was going and one of those UT-alums said….

“You mean the Cult of Tom Herman?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “The Cult of Tom Herman? What the Hell does that mean?”

UT Alum: “It means that everything within the Texas Athletic Department is set-up to promote Tom Herman in the public instead of the Texas Football Team.”

Coaches Hot Seat: “That’s a change from the past?”

UT Alum: “You kidding? Mack Brown and Charlie Strong put the focus on the players….Tom Herman seems interested in only one thing…Tom Herman’s Precious Ass!”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Now that’s Damn interesting.”

UT Alum: “It is and there’s no explaining it even in Texas which is full of people with big egos….but I cannot recall running into or seeing anyone operate with a bigger ego than Tom Herman who seems to believe he invented the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars!”

Coaches Hot Seat: “It will be interesting to see how that will play out during the season.”

UT Alum: “Well right now with everything focused on kissing Tom Herman’s ass I fully expect Texas to lose the opening game to Maryland!”

Memo to Tom Herman:  Get Over Yourself Son or your head coaching tenure at Texas or anywhere else will be over before it really gets going. Oh…welcome to the Hot Seat Son!

Texas has PLENTY OF TALENT to win 8 games in 2017 with the below schedule remaining….

San Jose State
At USC
At Iowa State
Kansas State
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
At Baylor
At TCU
Kansas
At West Virginia
Texas Tech

…and if Tom Herman expects to get his ass off the Hot Seat he better Damn win 8 games-plus this season!

7.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Brian Kelly and the Irish got a nice win over a decent Temple team in Week 1 and now the 2017 season actually begins with a pretty good and very talented Georgia team coming to South Bend on Saturday evening. There’s a very good reason why Brian Kelly is on the Hot Seat and that is Kelly’s record over the past 5 seasons since Alabama BLASTED the Irish in the 2012-13 BCS National Title Game and that record is…

32 – 20 .615

…while averaging 7.75 wins per season and ANYTHING below 9 wins a season as head coach of Notre Dame your ass is AVERAGE and will place your ass on the…Yep…you got it…

Hot Seat!

We asked around with a few of our Notre Dame alum friends in the last few weeks how many wins that Brian Kelly needs to return to coach the Irish in 2018 and the consensus is…

10 wins-plus

….and we don’t think there is ANY chance of all of Notre Dame winning 10 games if the Irish lose to Georgia so Coach Hard Brian Kelly against the Dawgs!

8.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – Chris Ash’s Rutgers team played better against Washington they than the team played in almost any game in 2016 and now Ash will need to keep the improvement going in a HUGE and MUST WIN GAMES against Eastern Michigan at home on Saturday and then Morgan State on September 16 which would send the Scarlet Knights to Nebraska with a 2 – 1 record which would at least give Ash’s team some momentum and maybe his ass off the Hot Seat…or maybe not!

9.  Jim Mora, UCLA – We are not quite sure why the Hell the UCLA Bruins didn’t show up ready to play against Texas A&M on Sunday at the Rose Bowl but a Total Collapse by the Aggies plus a Bruins team that wouldn’t quit saved Mora from having the Hottest Seat in the America after Week 1 of the season and at least Jim Mora has that going for him!

Now at 1 – 0 on the season UCLA has left to play in 2017….

Hawaii
At Memphis
At Stanford
Colorado
At Arizona
Oregon
At Washington
At Utah
Arizona State
At USC
California

Damn…that’s a tough schedule and with Jim Mora needing at least 6 wins in 2017 to keep his job even with a MASSIVE buyout if fired it’s not going to be easy for UCLA to get to 6 wins unless they win their next 2 games to start at 3 – 0 before they head to The Farm to play Stanford on September 23.

10.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – In 5 seasons at Arkansas Bret Bielema has the following records on the board…

Overall: 26 – 26

SEC: 10 – 22

…and that is what we would call Below Average for ANY Head Football Coach at Arkansas and we would recommend to both Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long that Bielema win at least 6 games in 2017 or both of them might find themselves out of a job come December which is why the next two games…

TCU
Texas A&M (Dallas)

…are MUST WIN GAMES before playing Cupcake New Mexico State on September 30 and then heading into the rest of the SEC schedule with a game at South Carolina.

If Arkansas does lose to TCU and Texas A&M to be at 2 – 2 at the end of September it’s not going to be easy to find 4 more wins among these last 8 games….

At South Carolina
At Alabama
Auburn
At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

….with 6 wins total needed if Bielema wants to be employed in the State of Arkansas after December 2017!

#12 Hot Seat Head Coach – Chris Ash, Rutgers – #13 Hot Seat Head Coach – Brad Lambert, Charlotte

 

#12 Hot Seat Head Coach – Chris Ash, Rutgers

It is going to be very interesting to see if native of Ottumwa, Iowa Chris Ash can be a success as a head coach at Rutgers which is defacto foreign country to folks that didn’t grow up in the New York – New Jersey region of America, and if Ash is a success in turning Rutgers into again a semi-respectable football team then he will have achieved something mighty impressive indeed.

In the previous 20 years before Chris Ash took over the Rutgers head coaching job in 2016 the Scarlet Knights….playing in sub-par conferences to the Big Ten for 18 of those 20 years….Rutgers posted .500 or better regular season records in….

8 of 20 seasons

….with 6 of those .500 or better regular seasons coming under now Ohio State defensive coordinator Greg Schiano.

The problem that Chris Ash has to deal with as opposed to most Rutgers head football coaches in the past is that the Scarlett Knights are now playing in the very tough….

Big Ten East Division

…which includes the likes of…

Penn State
Ohio State
Michigan
Indiana
Maryland
Michigan State

….in addition to Rutgers and in our opinion with the Big Ten now playing 9 conference games…

As EVERY Conference in America should be playing today and if you are playing 8 Conference Games like the SEC and ACC you are nothing but Total Damn Cowards and you sure the Hell were not raised by Real American since Real Americans are not Damn Cowards = SEC and ACC Conferences

….if Chris Ash or ANY Rutgers head football coach in the foreseeable future is able to post 6 plus wins a year that will be a MAJOR accomplishment.

In his first year on the job at Rutgers Chris Ash posted records of…

Overall:  2 – 10

Big Ten:  0 – 9

….and in 2017 Rutgers is scheduled to play:

Washington
Eastern Michigan
Morgan State
At Nebraska
Ohio State
At Illinois
Purdue
At Michigan
Maryland
At Penn State
At Indiana
Michigan State

With ONE sure win on the schedule in Morgan State it looks like 2017 is going to be another slog for Chris Ash and his Rutgers football team which we see posting a record of…

3 – 9 or 4 – 8 at best

….and no doubt if that happens this time next Chris Ash’s rear-end will still be on the Hot Seat heading into the 2018 college football season!

 

#13 Hot Seat Head Coach – Brad Lambert, Charlotte

2017 will be Brad Lambert’s FIFTH season as the head coach of the Charlotte 49ers who will be entering their THIRD season playing on the FBS level in Conference USA. In the first two seasons in FBS Brad Lambert and his Charlotte football team posted records of…

2015:  2 – 10
2016:  4 – 8

…and Lambert’s records are….

Overall:  16 – 30

CUSA:  3 – 13

Considering the above records so far what are the chances that Brad Lambert can turn Charlotte into a .500-plus team playing in Conference USA on a regular basis?

The chances are Warm-To-Midland at best and primarily because Conference USA has some pretty good football programs in it right now, and secondly because there are very few football programs that have made the jump to FBS and won on a consistent basis until they were an established program for many years.

With the above in mind let’s go to Charlotte’s 2017 schedule:

At Eastern Michigan
At Kansas State
NC A&T
Georgia State
At FIU
Marshall
At Western Kentucky
UAB
At Old Dominion
Middle Tennessee
At Southern Miss
FAU

Looking over the above schedule we give Charlotte a 50-50 or better chance of winning about…

7 of their 12 games in 2017

…and with that in mind we are expecting Brad Lambert to have his Charlotte team fighting for a bowl berth towards the end of the 2017 season and if not we all know what that means….Yep….Hot Seat for Brad Lambert!