“A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.”
“If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”
“I have ten commandments. The first nine are, thou shalt not bore. The tenth is, thou shalt have right of final cut.”
“Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.”
“I’d worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.”
“Now, what is it which makes a scene interesting? If you see a man coming through a doorway, it means nothing. If you see him coming through a window – that is at once interesting.”
“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.”
“Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.”
“The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian.”
“If there’s anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously.”
“My Aunt Minnie would always be punctual and never hold up production, but who would pay to see my Aunt Minnie?”
“One’s too many, and a hundred’s not enough.”
“France is the country where the money falls apart and you can’t tear the toilet paper.”
“You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning.”
“An audience is never wrong. An individual member of it may be an imbecile, but a thousand imbeciles together in the dark – that is critical genius.”
“Don’t be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtleties obvious also.”
“We are on the track of something absolutely mediocre.”
“The best director is the one you don’t see.”
“They’ve tried to manufacture other Marilyn Monroes and they will undoubtedly keep trying. But it won’t work. She was an original.”
“A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don’t bury our dead. When you think it’s out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot.”
“Eighty percent of a picture is writing, the other twenty percent is the execution, such as having the camera on the right spot and being able to afford to have good actors in all parts.”
“The truth always reveals itself.”
“Love is the hardest thing in the world to write about. So simple. You’ve got to catch it through details, like the early morning sunlight hitting the gray tin of the rain spout in front of her house. The ringing of a telephone that sounds like Beethoven’s “Pastoral.” A letter scribbled on her office stationery that you carry around in your pocket because it smells of all the lilacs in Ohio.”
“I never overestimate the audience, nor do I underestimate them. I just have a very rational idea as to who we’re dealing with, and that we’re not making a picture for Harvard Law School, we’re making a picture for middle-class people, the people that you see on the subway, or the people that you see in a restaurant. Just normal people.”
“If you don’t like what you’re doing, it’s unlikely anyone else will either, so be sure you are happy with your own work first.”
“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”
Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan singing Deacon Blues!
1. Bobby Petrino, Louisville vs. Clemson – After a 9 – 4 first season Louisville HC Bobby Petrino is very close to having his Cardinals football team go off the tracks after opening the 2015 season with losses to Auburn and Houston and with the mighty Clemson Tigers coming to town who could leave Louisville with a BIG…
0 – 3
…on the board with 7 ACC games remaining to be played and a game against Kentucky in Lexington to end the season. There will ALWAYS be more pressure on Bobby Petrino because of his past coaching and personal incidents and a loss to Clemson on Thursday night will see a return of Bobby Petrino to the Hot Seat where he will be joining his brother Paul Petrino the head coach at Idaho!
2. Randy Edsall, Maryland vs. South Florida – Randy Edsall got his ass off the Hot Seat in 2014 with a record of 7 – 5 before getting destroyed in the bowl game against Stanford BUT Edsall will be heading back to the Hot Seat if he cannot get his team refocused and ready to play South Florida after the Terps got whipped by MAC Conference team Bowling Green in Week 2. It’s all very simple for Randy Edsall…to stay off the Hot Seat Maryland team MUST beat South Florida who has a head coach in Willie Taggart who has his own Hot Seat problems and who is in desperate need of some wins also right now! Come on Willie Taggart…get off your ass and get YOUR Bulls to start winning some football games!
3. Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. Tulsa – Yes, it was precious watching Bob Stoops crow about his used-to-be mighty Sooners having to storm back to beat a middling SEC team in Tennessee that had a head coach in Butch Jones that coached the last three quarters of that game like a COWARD but then why don’t we let Bob and Mike Stoops crow a bit since after all…
Baylor now routinely treats the Oklahoma like a red-headed stepchild!
Memo to Bob Stoops: Most Big 12 Head Coaches don’t coach like Butch Jones…..COWARDLY….so don’t expect to come roaring back in games when you get into Big 12 Conference play this season son!
As for Tulsa….we cannot imagine that Oklahoma could lose this game with Tulsa having a new head coach and all….but with the Stoops Boys these days one never knows and if the Sooners come out un-focused after their “Big” win over Tennessee…one never knows!
Just don’t lose to Tulsa Bob because a loss would have your ass roaring back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings just like the Sooners roared back against Tennessee and their COWARDLY coach last Saturday!
4. Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech vs. Purdue – In the 12 football seasons between 1999 and 2011 Virginia Tech under Frank Beamer won 10 or more games…
…and won 11 games…
…BUT over the past three seasons the Hokies under Beamer have put-up records of…
2012: 7 – 6 2013: 8 – 5 2014: 7 – 6
…and if that is acceptable to the fans of Virginia Tech football then Virginia Tech football is about one thing and one thing only…
Being Very Damn Average!
The above is why this game at Purdue is a CRITICAL game for Frank Beamer and the Hokies to win because if the Hokies lose to a Purdue football team that has won…
4 Football Games
….the last TWO seasons then it will truly be OVER for Frank Beamer in Blacksburg…..right? RIGHT!
5. Darrell Hazell, Purdue vs. Virginia Tech – We said it before and we will say it again the Purdue football team that lost to Marshall in Week 1 looked like a much-improved team over 2014 and frankly we will be SHOCKED if the Boilermakers lose to a stumbling and bumbling Virginia Tech football team this Saturday but then we have been shocked many Damn times before in our short lives on this Earth!
Very Damn Simply….Virginia Tech is a CRITICAL game for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers to win especially with a game against Bowling Green in Week 4 and Big Ten Conference play beginning on October 3 at Michigan State! Just Damn CRITICAL!
6. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Georgia Tech – Brian Kelly was lucky to get out of Charlottesville with a win and not find his ass scalding at the top of the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings which is where Kelly’s ass would have been with an Irish loss to Virginia and now the pressure is on again in Week 3 because if Notre Dame truly is a…
“College Football Playoff Contender”
…as Brian Kelly seems to believe then for Damn sure the Irish shouldn’t lose to a Georgia Tech team in South Bend…right? RIGHT!
With games remaining at Clemson, Navy, USC, at Temple, at Pitt, Boston College and at Stanford the Irish have very little margin for error especially when Brian Kelly is another 4-plus loss season from finding his ass out of a job in South Bend!
7. Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Miami – As Bo Pelini said in 2011 after Nebraska came back to beat Ohio State….
“Our crowd. What a bunch of f-ing fair-weather fucking—they can all kiss my ass out the f-ing door. ‘Cause the day is f-ing coming now. We’ll see what they can do when I’m f-ing gone. I’m so f-ing pissed off.”
…we are all going to get to see what Nebraska can do with Pelini’s “ass out the f-ing door” and since Bo Pelini spent a good deal of time on the Hot Seat over the past SEVEN seasons even while putting up a lot of..
9 – 4 like records
….the standard for Mike Riley is very simple…
Either EXCEED Bo Pelini’s performance at Nebraska or your “Golly Geez Whiz Mr. McGoo” persona will find it’s ass on the Hot Seat Mike Riley in the same way Bo Pelini’s ass did during his time in Lincoln.
YES…beating Miami is Very Damn Important for Mike Riley and Mike Riley knows it!
8. Al Golden, Miami vs. Nebraska – We made another call down to our buddies in South Florida in the last couple of days and asked again…
“How many wins does Al Golden need this season to return in 2016?”
South Florida Buddies Response = “9….maybe 10 wins….and Miami better not lose to Duke!”
Hmmm….”9 or 10 wins and Miami better not lose to Duke” means that with Miami now sitting at 2 – 0 and 10 games left on the board Al Golden needs 7 or 8 more wins playing 10 these games….
Nebraska At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech Clemson At Duke Virginia At North Carolina Georgia Tech At Pitt
Since we are talking about the Miami Hurricanes here…”The U”….we see no Damn reason at all why Al Golden in his FIFTH season at Miami cannot win…
10 Regular Season Games in 2015…..PERIOD!
9. Les Miles, LSU vs. Auburn – LSU looked so bad at times in 2014 that a win over Mississippi State which used to close to an AUTOMATIC WIN for the LSU Tigers was received with a sigh of relief in Bayou Country and now with Auburn on the ropes and another loss from going into a Complete Tailspin (more on Auburn and Gus Malzahn in a moment) there is a chance that LSU could beat Auburn in Baton Rouge and roll through their next 5 games to be 7 – 0 when they go to play Alabama in Tuscaloosa on November 7!
On the other side of that coin though which we call the Les Miles Roaring Hot Seat Side of the coin if LSU does somehow lose to an Auburn team that looks to be in Complete Disarray right now Les Miles can expect to wake-up Monday morning and see his mug and ass on a Raging Hot Seat!
10. Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. LSU – A few years ago someone asked a Coaches Hot Seat member:
“Why do you guys do that Quotes of the Day thing with famous people on your website?”
The Coaches Hot Seat member responded by saying:
“Nothing wrong with getting a little education on great people along the way especially considering how little folks read these days.”
With the above in mind we are going to give a little education to Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn who we think a lot of here at Coaches Hot Seat before he finds his ass on the Hot Seat which is where Malzahn’s ass will be if the Auburn Tigers lose to LSU on Saturday.
As has been written about in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog a few times we had a lot of interest in the up-tempo offense that Gus Malzahn and many other high school and now college…and even one NFL coach…have brought to the game of football and one Coaches Hot Seat member has been watching the Auburn offense very closely in recent years both when Malzahn was the offensive coordinator and head coach at the school, and from that watching of the Auburn offense he produced a paper this past Summer that he distributed to all Coaches Hot Seat members that is titled:
“The Gus Malzahn Offense at Auburn: As Predictable As the Sun Coming Up in the East”
What the Hell does the above title mean and what is in that paper on The Gus Malzahn Offense at Auburn exactly?
Well….we can’t say exactly what is in that paper but one can probably discern from the title that if a Coaches Hot Seat member spending approximately 50 hours over a year can come up with some very clear tendencies of Gus Malzahn’s offense that opposing coaches with people on staff making collectively Millions of Dollars a year can come up with a Helluva lot of tendencies also!
To that point let’s go to a lesson from long ago from the Late Great Bill Walsh which is of course paraphrased since it was a Helluva long time ago:
“Boys, tell me what this word is with three letters missing:
P E A _ _ _
Yes, that’s right it’s P E A N U T.
OK, let’s try another word…tell me what this word is with four letters missing:
A I R P _ _ _ _
Right again…the word is A I R P L A N E.
Now, how do you think your mind was able to figure out those words with the missing letters so quickly and what the Hell does that have to do with calling offensive plays?
Yes…the human mind is wired to fill-in blanks and notice tendencies quickly based upon past experiences which goes back to the caveman days when a caveman would be in great danger if he was not able to think quickly on his feet and deal with his changing circumstances and environment. Likewise an offensive playcaller must be able to think quickly on his feet and deal with the changing circumstances and environment of a football game but the very thing that makes human beings so successful is also a great liability because human beings also will have great tendencies that they will go back to time and time again when confronted with the same situation and unless a football team is superior to another team and can overwhelm it with talent, power and strength it will be those tendencies of the offensive playcaller that can do great damage to a team’s chances to win the game.”
What the Hell exactly does all of the above mean?
Let’s go to an article in the New York Times from December 1996 that quoted Bill Walsh extensively on the importance of offensive play-calling and see if we can give a little help to Gus Malzahn down on The Plains of southeast Alabama:
‘The coach making the calls must have full command of all of the plays,” said Bill Walsh, who won three Super Bowls with the San Francisco 49ers, in part because he was a master of the play-calling trade. He currently is in the Hall of Fame and is back with the 49ers as an administrative assistant. One of his key roles this season, in fact, has been fine-tuning the 49ers’ play-calling.
”The coach must be well-grounded,” Walsh continued. ”When I was calling the plays early in my career as an assistant with a passing background for the Cincinnati Bengals, I used to fight tooth and nail right there on the sidelines with running backs coach Bill Johnson. He wanted to call all runs. If it was left up to me, we’d be dropping back there and throwing downfield all of the time. That taught me something. If you get a coach calling the plays who’s trying to prove his philosophies in his area, you’re in trouble.”
If the play-caller cannot make adjustments on the fly, trouble also lurks.
”I was also an assistant with the Raiders and we were playing Denver,” Walsh said. ”Denver blitzed on every play. Tom Flores was our quarterback. He hit maybe 6 out of 20 passes for 160 yards. But he hit four long touchdown passes and we won, 28-0. That game left a mark on me, because we hadn’t planned it or practiced it that way. That’s showing adaptability to what defenses are trying to do to you.””
We will assume that all of the above makes sense to anyone that coaches in or follows the Great Game of Football but let’s go to the MONEY quotes in this New York Times article as it pertains to what Bill Walsh always tried to impart to people on the importance of not getting too predictable when calling offensive plays since not only will opposing coaches pick-up on those tendencies before the game is played BUT well-coached players themselves will pick-up on those tendencies during the game itself!
And quoting again from the above New York Times article:
“It was Walsh who helped introduce into the pro game the concept of scripting the plays. When a play-caller scripts, he creates a list of plays — usually 15 to 25 — that he uses at the start of the game.
”Scripting is planning; it’s contingency planning,” Walsh said. ”The fewer decisions to be made during the game, the better. You don’t want to live by your instincts. It’s isolating each situation that comes up and establishing what comes up.”
In essence, scripting plays does two things: 1) It forces an offense to implement what it has practiced during the week and 2) It focuses on your strengths, regardless of what the defense is doing. As many as eight current N.F.L. teams, most of them led by former Walsh assistant coaches, now script plays, usually the first 15 of the game.
”It takes real nerve,” Walsh said. ”If things aren’t working, you can lose your nerve. The script makes you stay in the game plan and make it work. I often did the first 25. So, I did less thinking in the early stages of the game and I’d be less nervous. I would have check points for the defense. This way, I could orchestrate the first quarter of the game. I was able to initiate my plan. On third-and-1, for example, I’d go off that list to a short-yardage list. Then I’d go back to the script.
”You make much better decisions on Thursdays and Fridays than you do on Sundays. If anybody thinks they can make all of the decisions on Sundays, then that person often is simply hoping to be lucky.””
No…an offensive playcaller doesn’t have to script plays to open a game to be successful BUT a head coach and/or whoever is calling the offensive plays must be very aware of how easy it is to get into the same situation over and over again and often calling the same or a very similar play over and over again and in an age when very little escapes notice those tendencies will not only be noticed they will be exploited by your opponent and in our opinion the very obvious playcalling tendencies of Gus Malzahn’s offense at Auburn is a big reason why Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn with that on the verge of moving to 10 – 7 with a loss to LSU.
Memo to Gus Malzahn: What is this word Gus that is missing three letters?
O B V I _ _ _
O B V I O U S
…as is your offense at Auburn!
Lose to LSU and expect to find your ass on the Hot Seat come Monday morning Gus!
11. Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. Western Kentucky – Well, this one is O B V I O U S as well because if Kevin Wilson’s Hoosiers lose to Western Kentucky on Saturday to drop to 2 – 1 on the year with a tough Big Ten Conference schedule ahead….
Well, let’s just say it would NOT BE GOOD so play hard Hoosiers!
12. Steve Spurrier, South Carolina vs. Georgia – Longtime radio show host and all around good guy along with being Steve Spurrier’s official biographer Buddy Martin appeared on the Paul Finebaum show earlier this week and said that most of all Steve Spurrier didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for Steve because of his recent troubles winning football games at South Carolina.
What the Hell?
What person with a working brain would feel sorry for Steve Spurrier who won the Heisman Trophy, played in the NFL, is in the College Football Hall of Fame and is one of the Top 10 college head coaches in the last 50 years?
Hell, we don’t feel sorry for Steve Spurrier but instead we are ready to roast Spurrier’s ass if he doesn’t get off his ass and get his South Carolina football team playing some winning football again starting with this game against Georgia in Athens on Saturday!
There is NO downside for Steve Spurrier in his current situation because even if the 2015 season imploded at South Carolina and Spurrier decided to end his legendary coaching career come December and head to beach and play golf and maybe do some TV work in around college football games life will be very good for Steve Spurrier….just as it is for Bobby Bowden right now….and life everywhere else on Earth and in the Universe will continue on whether Spurrier is on the sideline coaching games or not.
YES…we want the Ol’ Ball Coach…
Hell, Steve you are 70 so that makes you OLD!
…..to start coaching South Carolina to wins again BUT we also know that there are cemeteries all over the world filled with men and women who many thought were “indispensable” and yet the world continued on without their presence and South Carolina and College Football will continue on without Steve Spurrier if the Ol’ Ball Coach decides to do something else with his life later this year.
Hell, what about putting Steve Spurrier in the booth with Jesse Palmer and Brent Musburger to do the SEC Game of the Week on the SEC Network in 2016 and then Steve can play a lot of golf and travel around the SEC Conference each Fall talking to coaches and critiquing what they are doing right and wrong?
Hell, that sounds good to us but how about beating Georgia on Saturday Steve?
13. Mark Richt, Georgia vs. South Carolina – Oh, this one is Very Damn Simple:
IF Mark Richt and Georgia somehow lost to a reeling Ol’ Ball Coach and South Carolina on Saturday….
Welcome Back to the Hot Seat Mark Richt!
14. Todd Monken, Southern Miss vs. Texas State – It’s time…Hell, it’s way past time to get Southern Miss football back on track and a win against Texas State on a road would be a good way to get that “back on track” thing started BUT if USM loses this game….the Hot Seat only gets Hotter for Todd Monken!
15. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. Arkansas – This Saturday’s Arkansas game is HUGE for Kliff Kingsbury and this Texas Tech football team because if the Red Raiders were able to go into Fayetteville and avenge the loss they took to the Hogs in 2014 and get to 3 – 0 on the season that would make the game against TCU at home in Week 4 VERY DAMN HUGE because if you can beat Arkansas on the road you might just be able to beat TCU at home….right? RIGHT!
Besides…if Texas Tech beat Arkansas on Saturday we will quit calling Kliff Kingsbury PBK = Pretty Boy Kingsbury FOREVER and Hell that just by itself is worth the Texas Tech players playing like a House on Fire in this football game!
16. Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Texas Tech – Just a couple of weeks ago Bret Bielema was popping off about Ohio State and about every other Damn thing under the Sun but after the loss to Toledo for some Damn reason we haven’t heard much from Bret this week and we cannot figure out why!
Memo to Head Football Coaches on the Importance of Communication: In the late 1970s the Dad of a Coaches Hot Seat member was having dinner with a legendary college football coach on the West Coast and this Dad had read something in the newspaper earlier in the day about “X player” on this coach’s team and the Dad asked the coach if had meant to make such a borderline negative comment about that “X player” and the legendary coach said:
“Hell Yes, I made a point of making that comment about “X player” in that press conference and I even requested to that the reporter personally to make sure my comment about “X player” made it into the newspaper. My players are paying attention to what is being said about them in the media and often hear things better through the media than on the practice field.”
The above coach’s comment was made in the late 1970s and some 35-plus years later in the Social Media + Information Age do you think players are hearing what is said about them in the media?
Be careful what you say coaches and make sure all of your comments in the media are on target and measured well especially during the football season.
Getting back to Bret Bielema after the loss to Toledo…
Bret Bielema and Arkansas CANNOT LOSE THIS GAME…PERIOD.
17. Mike MacIntyre, Colorado vs. Colorado State – Talk about a head coach that CANNOT LOSE A GAME that would be Colorado head coach Mike MacIntyre who CANNOT LOSE to Colorado State on Saturday for so many reasons but especially because CSU has a first-year head coach in Mike Bobo and the Buffs really need this win over CSU and a win over Nicholls State in Week 4 to be 3 – 1 when they enter Pac-12 Conference play on October 3 against Oregon in Boulder.
Good Luck Mike and DON’T LOSE THIS GAME!
18. Charlie Strong, Texas vs. California – Last time we checked Texas is still Texas and NOT Louisville and since Texas is still Texas we don’t believe in these “not enough talent” excuses for Charlie Strong or anyone else that coaches the football team at the University of Texas and thus why Strong better start winning some football games and in a hurry starting with a win over California on Saturday.
Should we really expect Texas to beat California on Saturday?
HELL YES and that is because what Charlie Strong took over at Texas is no Damn worse off than what Nick Saban took over at Alabama and what was Alabama’s record in Saban’s second year at Alabama?
12 – 2
Oh, what was Alabama’s record in Nick Saban’s third year at Alabama?
14 – 0 and National Champions!
We expect no less at Texas than we would at Alabama and anyone at Texas, or around Texas, or loves Texas football shouldn’t accept anything less either and thus why it’s time for Texas football to start winning some football games starting with a win over California on Saturday which posted a record of…
5 – 7
….in 2014 so we aren’t exactly talking about Alabama coming to Austin on Saturday…right? RIGHT!
IF Texas did lose to California looking over the rest of the Horns’ schedule how many wins might Charlie Strong post in 2015?
Oklahoma State At TCU Oklahoma Kansas State At Iowa State Kansas At West Virginia Texas Tech At Baylor
Hell, if you can’t beat a mediocre California team in your home stadium in Austin just who in the Hell besides Kansas is Texas going to beat on the rest of its schedule exactly?
Geez…could Texas really go 2 – 10 or 3 – 9 in 2015?
Maybe so and if they do we will have to invent a new name for Charlie Strong’s Hot Seat Category like….
RXJ1347 = The Hottest Place in the Universe = 300 Million Degrees C!
….a coach that CANNOT afford a loss in this spot is Penn State HC James Franklin who is coaching what seems like one of the most fragile teams in college football right now.
Penn State played a little better in Week 2 against Buffalo BUT than in their Week 1 loss to Temple which was a lot like many of Penn State’s games in 2014 when it seemed that the Penn State players were playing not aggressively but almost as if they were afraid to make a mistake that might lead to something else….perhaps them getting their ass chewed out royally maybe?
One thing for sure James Franklin’s Vanderbilt teams seemed to have a lot of fun playing football for James Franklin…just an observation from the peanut gallery here at Coaches Hot Seat….and this and last year’s Penn State teams look miserable as Hell playing for James Franklin.
20. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Pitt – It’s impossible for us to know if the 2015 Iowa football team is any good or not since the Hawkeyes have wins over Illinois State and Iowa State on the board which is like saying you beat a team slightly tougher than AIR and even in Week 3 with Pitt coming to town with a new head coach in Pat Narduzzi it’s hard to know if a win in this spot over the Panthers will be that big of a deal or not.
One Damn Thing For Sure….a loss to Pitt will send Kirk Ferentz flying BACK UP the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!
21. David Shaw, Stanford vs. USC – The other day we posted a Stanford Athletics video of the 2009 Stanford – USC game in the LA Coliseum when the Cardinal whipped the Trojans by a score of…
55 – 21
….and many of us after watching the above video could not help but notice with how much…
Passion, Fire, Determination, Kick-Ass Intensity, Craziness, Sheer Will
…that Stanford football was playing with against USC in 2009 especially compared to the 2015 Stanford football team that was barely awake when they lost to Northwestern in the opening game of the season.
One Coaches Hot Seat Member even said after watching the above video and comparing it to the Northwestern game earlier this year:
“That’s it! Stanford football is now DEAD ASLEEP under David Shaw and is on the verge of going into a COMA!”
The old joke among Coaches Hot Seat members before Coaches Hot Seat ever existed was that the Stanford football teams under coaches Buddy Teevens and Walt Harris were so WEAK that the then 30ish and 40ish Coaches Hot Seat members could whip the Hell out of the entire Cardinal team on or off the football field.
That reality changed when Jim Harbaugh got to The Farm….
…and now it’s quickly becoming the consensus again that the now 40ish and 50ish Coaches Hot Seat members could whip the Hell out of the entire Cardinal team on or off the football field and that is nothing less than a…
Complete Freaking Disaster for Stanford Football
Can David Shaw and Stanford beat USC in the LA Coliseum on Saturday night?
Better question might be can Stanford keep the final margin below a 21 point plus defeat at the hands of the Trojans?
One of the worst feelings in the world is embarrassment and we would recommend that David Shaw’s Stanford team not embarrass the Stanford alumni that are traveling to Los Angeles for this game many of whom will be hanging-out with and staying with USC alumni and will rightly be hearing a lot of crowing if USC destroys the Cardinal. No, don’t embarrass yourselves, Stanford fans and alumni, and Stanford University on Saturday night because that leads to people getting pissed-off and pissed-off people is the LAST DAMN THING IN THE WORLD David Shaw wants right now.
22. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Toledo – Talk about bad timing just when Paul Rhoads needs a win in the worst way he has to take his Iowa State football team on the road to play a MAC team on their home field in Toledo which just beat Arkansas on its home field!
A loss in this spot and Iowa State drops to 1 – 2 on the season with NINE Big 12 Conference Games ahead and our guess is that the Cyclones will be the underdog in…
Eight of those Nine Big 12 Conference Games!
Geez…these are not good times for Iowa State football.
23. Mike Leach, Washington State vs. Wyoming – Mike Leach somehow pulled a win out of his ass that was sitting on a very Hot Seat last Saturday against Rutgers and now the Cougs needs to refocus and make sure they beat a reeling Wyoming team at home before starting Pac-12 Conference play at California on October 3.
Absolutely Wyoming is a game that The Pirate CANNOT LOSE!
24. Norm Chow, Hawaii vs. UC Davis – Now sitting on a record of 1 – 1 Norm Chow’s Hawaii team MUST beat UC Davis on Saturday because their next two games are…
At Wisconsin At Boise State
….and there is not a Chance in Hell that the Warriors will win either of those games on the road so clearly UC Davis is a CANNOT LOSE game for Norm Chow and Hawaii!
“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.”
“Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success.”
“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.”
“Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas.”
“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
“I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can’t be done.”
“I do not believe a man can ever leave his business. He ought to think of it by day and dream of it by night.”
“If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself.”
“If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.”
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”
“The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all, but goes on making his own business better all the time.”
“There is joy in work. There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.”
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.”
“What’s right about America is that although we have a mess of problems, we have great capacity – intellect and resources – to do some thing about them.”
“Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.”
“You will find men who want to be carried on the shoulders of others, who think that the world owes them a living. They don’t seem to see that we must all lift together and pull together.”
“You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.”
“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.”
“I don’t know whether Napoleon did or did not try to get across there and I don’t care. I don’t know much about history, and I wouldn’t give a nickel for all the history in the world. It means nothing to me. History is more or less bunk. It’s tradition. We don’t want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker’s damn is the history we make today.”
“An idealist is a person who helps other people to be prosperous.”
“I will build a car for the great multitude. It will be large enough for the family, but small enough for the individual to run and care for. It will be constructed of the best materials, by the best men to be hired, after the simplest designs that modern engineering can devise. But it will be so low in price that no man making a good salary will be unable to own one — and enjoy with his family the blessing of hours of pleasure in God’s great open spaces.”
“The average man won’t really do a day’s work unless he is caught and cannot get out of it. There is plenty of work to do if people would do it.”
“A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business.”
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
“It is not the employer who pays the wages. Employers only handle the money. It is the customer who pays the wages.”
“Most people spend more time and energy going around problems than in trying to solve them.”
“A business absolutely devoted to service will have only one worry about profits. They will be embarrassingly large.”
“Leaders have to act more quickly today. The pressure comes much faster.”
“Success breeds complacency. Complacency breeds failure. Only the paranoid survive.”
“So give me a turbulent world as opposed to a quiet world and I’ll take the turbulent one.”
“There is at least one point in the history of any company when you have to change dramatically to rise to the next level of performance. Miss that moment – and you start to decline.”
“It’s not enough to make time for your children. There are certain stages in their lives when you have to give them the time when they want it. You can’t run your family like a company. It doesn’t work.”
“A fundamental rule in technology says that whatever can be done will be done.”
“A corporation is a living organism; it has to continue to shed its skin. Methods have to change. Focus has to change. Values have to change. The sum total of those changes is transformation.”
“You have to pretend you’re 100 percent sure. You have to take action; you can’t hesitate or hedge your bets. Anything less will condemn your efforts to failure.”
“Stressing output is the key to improving productivity, while looking to increase activity can result in just the opposite.”
“Our biggest competition in achieving our ambitions, … is a television set.”
“Technology happens, it’s not good, it’s not bad. Is steel good or bad?”
“Your career is your business, and you are its CEO.”
“The Lesson is, we all need to expose ourselves to the winds of change”
“Strategic changes doesn’t just start at the top. It starts with your calender”
“The person who is the star of previous era is often the last one to adapt to change, the last one to yield to logic of a strategic inflection point and tends to fall harder than most.”
“If you’re wrong, you will die. But most companies don’t die because they are wrong; most die because they don’t commit themselves. They fritter away their valuable resources while attempting to make a decision. The greatest danger is in Standing still”
“Selectivity – the determination to choose what we will attempt to get done and what we won’t – is the only way out of the panic that excessive demands on our time can create.”
“Business success contains the seeds of its own destruction. The more Successful you are, the more people want a chunk of your business and then another chunk and then another until there is nothing”
“People in the trenches are usually in touch with impending changes early”
“It’s harder to be the best of class in several fields than in just one”
“How can you motivate yourself to continue to follow a leader when he appears to be going around in circles?”
“A strategic inflection point is a time in the life of business when its fundamentals are about to change. that change can mean an opportunity to rise to new heights. But it may just as likely signal the beginning of the end”
“As we throw ourselves into raw actions, our senses and instincts will rapidly be honed again”
“Just as you would not permit a fellow employee to steal a piece of office equipment worth $2,000, you shouldn’t let anyone walk away with the time of his fellow managers.”
“Bad companies are destroyed by crisis, Good companies survive them, Great companies are improved by them.”
“You need to try to do the impossible, to anticipate the unexpected. And when the unexpected happens, you should double the efforts to make order from the disorder it creates in your life. The motto I’m advocating is — Let chaos reign, then rein chaos. Does that mean that you shouldn’t plan? Not at all. You need to plan the way a fire department plans. It cannot anticipate fires, so it has to shape a flexible organization that is capable of responding to unpredictable events.”
“You have no choice but to operate in a world shaped by globalization and the information revolution. There are two options: adapt or die.”
“I think it is very important for you to do two things: act on your temporary conviction as if it was a real conviction; and when you realize that you are wrong, correct course very quickly”
Avoid random motion.
Not all problems have a technological answer, but when they do, that is the more lasting solution.
Satisfaction doesn’t come in moments but in periods of time.
Privacy is one of the biggest problems in this new electronic age. At the heart of the Internet culture is a force that wants to find out everything about you. And once it has found out everything about you and two hundred million others, that’s a very valuable asset, and people will be tempted to trade and do commerce with that asset. This wasn’t the information that people were thinking of when they called this the information age.
Take a bit of the future and make it your present.
We’re living the Next Big Thing. It’s a little like living in the time when electricity was in its early stages. It took decades for electricity to change the landscape. We’re in the early stages of recasting our commercial lives, our professional lives, our health practices, everything.
Profits are the lifeblood of enterprise. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
You must understand your mistakes. Study the hell out of them. You’re not going to have the chance of making the same mistake again — you can’t step into the river again at the same place and the same time — but you will have the chance of making a similar mistake.
Status is a very dangerous thing. I’ve met too many people who make it a point of pride that they never take money out of a cash machine, people who are too good to have their own e-mail address, because that’s for everybody else but not them. It’s hard to fight the temptation to set yourself apart from the rest of the world.
What you’re seeing today is a very, very rapid evolution of an industry where the milieu is better understood by people who grew up in the same time frame as the industry. A lot of the years that many of us have spent in business before this time are of only limited relevance.
Risk is the cost of aggressive objectives.
It’s not enough to make time for your children. There are certain stages in their lives when you have to give them the time when they want it. You can’t run your family like a company. It doesn’t work.
Assume any career moves you make won’t go smoothly. They won’t. But don’t look back.
Technology is both an end in itself and a means to other ends. When you figure something out and make it work, there is pleasure and excitement. Not just because the technology is going to do something, but because you created something with its own inherent beauty, like art, like literature, like music.
Denial can blind.
It is a very important truism that immigrants and immigration are what made America what it is. We must be vigilant as a nation to have a tolerance for differences, a tolerance for new people.
When you have cancer, there’s always a finite chance that it will recur, so talking about the whole experience in past tense is a little presumptuous. So yes, I have faced the prospect of dying, of having a specific cause of mortality hanging over my head for the rest of my life. But I don’t think the experience changed me, not that either I or anyone close to me has been able to spot.
All art is in some fashion escape. It sucks you out of your own life. It absorbs you.
Retirement is a process. You have to figure out the new rules, and you have to figure out what works under the new rules.
“An organization’s ability to learn, and translate that learning into action rapidly, is the ultimate competitive advantage.”
“Be candid with everyone.”
“Control your own destiny or someone else will.”
“Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.”
“Willingness to change is a strength, even if it means plunging part of the company into total confusion for a while.”
“Giving people self-confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act.”
“I’ve learned that mistakes can often be as good a teacher as success.”
“Don’t manage – lead change before you have to.”
“Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.”
“If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings and put compensation as a carrier behind it you almost don’t have to manage them.”
“The team with the best players wins.”
“Change before you have to.”
“You got to be rigorous in your appraisal system. The biggest cowards are managers who don’t let people know where they stand.”
“Management is all about managing in the short term, while developing the plans for the long term.”
“The productivity now at universities is terrible. Tenure is a terrible idea. It keeps them around forever and they don’t have to work hard.”
“Number one, cash is king… number two, communicate… number three, buy or bury the competition.”
“Strong managers who make tough decisions to cut jobs provide the only true job security in today’s world. Weak managers are the problem. Weak managers destroy jobs.”
“There’s no such thing as work-life balance. There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.”
“You’ve got to eat while you dream. You’ve got to deliver on short-range commitments, while you develop a long-range strategy and vision and implement it. The success of doing both. Walking and chewing gum if you will. Getting it done in the short-range, and delivering a long-range plan, and executing on that.”
There are just a few reasons why a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and by far the main reason a coach finds his ass on the Hot Seat is…
He did not win enough football games!
But…there are other reasons a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and two of those reasons that we have had to account for in recent years have been…
1. A Head Coach like Charlie Weis who in our opinion did not give a Damn about coaching the Kansas football team in the proper way which also makes Charlie Weis a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being….with that being the opinion of EVERY American here at Coaches Hot Seat
2. Coaching like a Scared Coward which is how four SEC head coaches coached their teams on Saturday….
Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina Gus Malzhan, Auburn
….with three of the above COWARD COACHES now finding their precious and COWARDLY asses on the Hot Seat for their COWARDLY behavior because they lost their games and Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan now just one loss away from finding his ass on the Hot Seat with Auburn playing at LSU this coming Saturday! Besides coaching in a COWARDLY way which clearly in our opinion ALL FOUR of the above SEC head coaches did on Saturday what really pisses us off here at Coaches Hot Seat is when head coaches who have guaranteed contracts that will pay them Millions of Dollars whether they win or lose so they will never have to work a day the rest of their lives…
Still Coach like COWARDS!
It was just Shameful and a Disgrace to the American Republic forget about an embarrassment to the SEC that head coaches…
Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina Gus Malzahn, Auburn
….were on Saturday…just so Damn SHAMEFUL!
We will get more into the COWARDLY behavior of head coaches….
Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
…in the Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis BUT is it just us here at Coaches Hot Seat or is everyone else thinking the same thing?
The Southeastern Conference reached its PEAK at the same time that Paul Finebaum was negotiating the contract for his book in New York City in the spring of 2013 for what eventually became this….
….and after the past two college football seasons and especially this past weekend has become what historians will mark as the Beginning of the End of the SEC? Of course, anyone that knows Paul Finebaum knows that Paul has a stellar record of latching onto public figures just before they are sent off to prison so Finebaum signaling the end of the SEC with his Idiotic book would not only be the MOST right thing in the world it would make a Helluva lot of sense also!
Let’s bring out the Man in Black to…
Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!
1. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Cyclones head coach Paul Rhoads is on a pretty bad run of late and the loss to Iowa over the weekend on Iowa State’s home field by a score of…
31 – 17
….didn’t help matters and just by comparison over Paul Rhoads last 26 games coaching ISU he has posted a record of….
6 – 20
…and the previous head coach at Iowa State Dan McCarney posted a record over his last 26 games at ISU of…
12 – 14
….and also by comparison puts the winning percentages of Rhoads and McCarney at…
.231 for Paul Rhoads in last 26 games at ISU
.462 for Dan McCarney in last 26 games at ISU
Sorry, but Paul Rhoads can be the nicest and hardest working guy in the world and by all accounts we have heard he is both BUT we caught some of the Iowa – Iowa State game on Saturday and to put it bluntly…..
Iowa State DOES NOT look like a very well coached football team right now…PERIOD.
Oh….up next for Iowa State…
At Toledo which just beat Arkansas in Fayetteville!
Good Luck with that Paul and here’s a tip…don’t complain this week like some kind of LOSER about Ohio State’s schedule when you have a team to get ready to play Toledo!
2. Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team had Notre Dame right where they wanted the Irish on Saturday…
Up by a point with just a few minutes to play with the Irish starting QB out and a back-up QB in for Notre Dame that had hardly played at all in a meaningful live college football game
….and how exactly did Mike London’s Virginia team find a way to lose this time around?
By allowing that back-up QB that had next to no experience throw a ball to a receiver that was allowed to get behind a defensive back for some reason which ended up with a touchdown!
Geez…you really cannot make-up some of the stuff that has happened to Virginia football in recent years BUT this loss to Notre Dame takes the cake, the pie and every Damn dessert in the kitchen and with that loss London’s record at UVA dropped to…
Overall: 23 – 40
ACC: 11 – 29
…over the last six seasons which is bad from whatever direction one looks at those records.
Up next for Virginia…
William & Mary Boise State At Pitt
Our recommendation to Mike London = WIN all three of those games son!
3. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Oh, you thought it was a big deal that the Florida Gators beat New Mexico State 61 – 13 on Week 1?
Uhhhh….NOT….because Georgia State which had won ONE football game the last two seasons just beat New Mexico State on their home field!
This is Doug Martin’s third season as the head coach at New Mexico State and his record at NMSU now stands at:
Overall: 4 – 22
Enough said on the Hot Seat situation at NMSU!
4. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and the Purdue Boilermakers got their first win of the 2015 season over Indiana State on Saturday which means about as much as a grizzly bear crapping in the woods of Yellowstone National Park meaning it means NOTHING AT ALL!
The 2015 college football season begins again for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers on Saturday with Virginia Tech coming to town and this is a game in our opinion that….
Purdue Should Win
….IF Purdue plays with the same intensity that they played with against Marshall in Week 1.
In the “Just By Comparison” department Darrell Hazell has now been the head coach at Purdue for 26 games and his win/loss record stands at…
5 – 21
….and the coach he replaced at Purdue who was fired and run out-of-town posted a record in his first 26 games at Purdue of….
10 – 16
….which should tell everyone that is paying attention why exactly Darrell Hazell is on the Hot Seat!
5. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt looked OK at times against Georgia on Saturday but in the end a loss to the Dawgs by a score of…
31 – 14
…..leaves Derek Mason’s win/loss record in his second season at Vandy now at….
3 – 11
…and let’s hope Mason’s record after this coming Saturday’s game against Austin Peay is…
4 – 11
….or Mason might not make it as head coach at Vandy to the Ole Miss game in Oxford on September 26!
Looking over the rest of Vanderbilt’s 2015 schedule…
Austin Peay At Ole Miss At Middle Tennessee At South Carolina Missouri At Houston At Florida Kentucky Texas A&M At Tennessee
….if Vandy improves just a little bit more as the season progresses MAYBE the Commodores can win…
4 Games in 2015
….which would be an improvement by ONE win over 2014 and would give Mason one more year in Nashville to get Vandy back to their “James Franklin-years” winning ways and with that Derek Mason now has his goal for 2015….
Coach ‘Em Up Derek!
6. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson and the Indiana Hoosiers beat Florida International on Saturday by the score of 36 – 22 and when one considers that FIU had won….
…the last three seasons combined Indiana beating FIU meant about as much as a wild pig finding an acorn in Alabama which means that win over FIU means NOTHING AT ALL!
Up next for Kevin Wilson and Indiana….a very tough Western Kentucky team that is very simply a…
CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson and the Hoosiers but especially a CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson!
7. Paul Petrino, Idaho – In Week 2 Paul Petrino’s Idaho team lost to USC in Los Angeles by a score of…
59 – 9
….and with that loss Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho now stands at….
2 – 23
…..which is a winning percentage of…
….and the last Idaho head coach Robb Akey got fired at Idaho after posting a winning percentage of…
…over 6 seasons and thus why Paul Petrino is clearly on the Hot Seat!
Up next for Idaho….
OK…this should be a WIN for sure for Paul Petrino and the Vandals!
8. Ron Turner, Florida International – After seeing in person an average Stanford team made of balsa wood whip UCF on Saturday night we now understand how FIU beat UCF in Week 1 and thus it was no surprise to us that an average Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday.
FIU has won…
…in three seasons under Ron Turner and FIU should get its SEVENTH win under Ron Turner on Saturday when they play
….not that anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue who in the Hell NC Central is!
We do know that Ron Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat whether Dave Wannstedt of Fox Sports thinks Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat or not!
Memo to Dave Wannstedt: Ron Turner’s precious ass is on the Hot Seat and FIU beating UCF in Week 1 was No Damn Big Deal!
9. Butch Jones, Tennessee – The two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game saw the same thing that the other 100-plus Coaches Hot Seat members saw watching the Sooners – Vols game on TV and that was….
Tennessee head coach Butch Jones had the Sooners on the ropes for much of the game and if not for COACHING LIKE A COWARD and COACHING NOT TO LOSE the Vols could have delivered the knockout punch to Oklahoma many times in the game and when you COACH LIKE A COWARD your precious ass ends up on the Hot Seat and that is where Butch Jones finds his precious ass on this Monday morning!
Oh by the way….below are Butch Jones win/loss records at Tennessee which make a Helluva lot more sense now after seeing him COACH LIKE A COWARD in the Oklahoma game:
Overall: 13 – 14
SEC: 5 – 11
Sorry Butch Jones…we don’t give a Damn if you inherited a wreck of a football program from the combo of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley because IF you are going to the head coach at Tennessee and a head coach in the SEC you first and most importantly must…
NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD!
As Coaches Hot Seat members discussed the outcome of the Oklahoma – Tennessee game on Saturday night after watching a day of college football and that Badass Madison Bumgarner almost throw a perfect game against the San Diego Padres two things were mentioned the most about Butch Jones’ coaching performance against Oklahoma:
1. Butch Jones COACHED LIKE A COWARD and in many ways COACHED SCARED against Oklahoma on Saturday
2. Butch Jones clearly DOES NOT trust his quarterback Joshua Dobbs because there were numerous instances in the first and second half of the game against the Sooners where Butch Jones and his new and OLD offensive coordinator could have unleashed Dobbs on OU and put the game out of reach of the Sooners BUT Butch Jones didn’t do that which brings to mind a quote from the Great Bill Walsh on quarterbacks that one of us heard Coach Walsh say a Helluva long time ago:
Bill Walsh: “If you don’t trust your quarterback to make plays and decisions on the field then you don’t have a quarterback and you don’t have a leader. A head coach must prepare his starting quarterback to the best of his ability and then trust his quarterback on gameday. To do anything but that would lead me to believe that a team either has the wrong head coach or wrong quarterback….or both. A head coach must trust his quarterback because that trust is fundamental to playing winning football.”
YES….we miss Coach Walsh and YES there are dozens of college football head coaches across America that DO NOT TRUST their quarterback and SHAME on them for that idiocy!
Sorry Butch Jones BUT it was YOU that cost the Tennessee Vols that game against Oklahoma because very simply Butch Jones you…
COACHED LIKE A COWARD….PERIOD.
Up next for Tennessee…
…which is a SURE win and then COWARD Butch Jones and the Vols play…
…and we would recommend that Butch Jones NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD against the Florida Gators because if the Vols lose to the Gators again….
Your ass Butch Jones and thus YOU will find yourself on the Face of the Sun!
10. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members had been watching a tape of the Toledo – Arkansas game on Sunday and after watching things for awhile someone said check the box score on the game for Arkansas and after doing that what about these numbers for the Hogs offense?
Arkansas ran the ball 31 times for 103 yards
Arkansas threw the ball 53 times completing 32 for 412 yards
What in the Freaking Hell Bret Bielema?
So the working theory in Fayetteville must be that Arkansas can run the ball against SEC West teams but not a team from the MAC Conference? Is that right Bret Bielema who seemed in the last week very Damn concerned about Ohio State’s schedule and not the Hogs opponent which just whipped your team’s ass in Little Rock Bret and landed your ass back on the Hot Seat in the process!
YES…like Butch Jones…Bret Bielema COACHED LIKE A COWARD on Saturday but it was a different kind of COWARDICE that Bielema brought out against the Toledo Rockets….it was COWARDICE plus STUPIDITY because if Arkansas had not panicked and had just ran the ball down Toledo’s throat instead of throwing the ball all over the lot they could have won by two touchdowns but instead like in Knoxville and in Columbia…
COWARDLY behavior by the head coach won the day
….and with that COWARDICE the SEC now has FIVE head coaches on the Hot Seat….
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina Les Miles, LSU
….and if the COWARDLY coaching continues at least three of the above head coaches will NOT be coaching their teams in 2016!
Memo to Bret Bielema: This week Bret focus on getting your football team ready to play against Texas Tech because in case you didn’t know it your win/loss records at Arkansas of…
Overall: 11 – 16
SEC: 2 – 14
….are NOT the records that should lead to a head coach popping-off about ANYTHING relative to other football teams around the country especially the Defending National Champions in Ohio State which BEAT Alabama in the Semi-Final Playoff Game in case you forgot Bret!
Oh….lose to Texas Tech Bielema and your ass will be like the Persian Gulf region the last time a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members were in it during the spring and summer of 1991 for Desert Storm which was….
“Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.”
“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.”
“When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.”
“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.”
“No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving something behind.”
“Since new developments are the products of a creative mind, we must therefore stimulate and encourage that type of mind in every way possible.”
“There is no short cut to achievement. Life requires thorough preparation – veneer isn’t worth anything.”
“Each of us has been put on earth with the ability to do something well. We cheat ourselves and the world if we don’t use that ability as best we can.”
“Every day you waste is one you can never make up.”
“One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life you must keep fighting and adjusting if you hope to survive. No matter who you are or what your position is you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve.”
“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit. Most men succeed because they are determined to.”
“Winning is the science of being totally prepared.”
“Every time you win, you’re reborn; when you lose, you die a little.”
“Work hard, stay positive, and get up early. It’s the best part of the day.”
“The achiever is the only individual who is truly alive.”
“The future? This team hasn’t been to the playoffs in over two decades and you’re worried about the future? The Future is Now!”
“Football isn’t necessarily won by the best players. It’s won by the team with the best attitude.”
“Football is one-third offense, one-third defense, and one-third special teams.”
“If you can accept defeat and open your pay envelope without feeling guilty, you’re stealing.”
“Try not to do too many things at once. Know what you want, the number one thing today and tomorrow. Persevere and get it done.”
“Success is what you do with your ability. It’s how you use your talent.”
“Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.”
“The street to obscurity is paved with athletes who can perform great feats before friendly crowds.”
“The tougher the job, the greater the reward.”
“Forget the past- the future will give you plenty to worry about”
We are introducing a new feature at Coaches Hot Seat for the 2015 football season and beyond…the….
10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week “X”
…..and to introduce this feature we will use a song from the 1970s Super Band Steely Dan…
“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”
Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan singing Deacon Blues!
10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2
1. Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. FIU – After the close 1-point win over FCS team Southern Illinois in Week 1 there is just no way in Hell that Kevin Wilson’s Hoosiers can lose to FIU at home this week because a loss in this spot to a pitiful team from South Florida…
No…not the Miami Hurricanes
…would send Wilson’s ass into a part of the Universe that is Hotter than our Sun and last time we checked the Sun is pretty Damn HOT!
2. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Iowa – In Paul Rhoads last 25 games at Iowa State his Cyclones have posted the downright startling and depressing win/loss record of…
5 – 20
….and rightly so Paul Rhoads’ ass is now hotter than that coffee that some Idiot spilled on himself and sued McDonald’s about years ago and won BIG which we seem to recall was Pretty, Pretty Hot Coffee which means a loss in this spot to the Iowa Hawkeyes and fellow Hot Seat coach Kirk Ferentz would be nothing short of a…
Complete Freaking Disaster!
3. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Iowa State – Consider this in the Total Disaster that Iowa Football has become in recent years under the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz:
In Iowa’s last 40 games the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz has posted a win/loss record of…
20 – 20!
That’s right the University of Iowa….or rather the fans of Iowa Football and in many ways collectively college football fans across America that watch all of these college football games on TV have collectively paid Kirk Ferentz over the past four football seasons something on the order of….
$15 Million Dollars
….for 20 Stinking Wins which works out to the amazing number…
$750,000 Per Freaking Win!
Seriously…you CANNOT make this kind of stuff up and thus why Kirk Ferentz and his Iowa Hawkeyes CANNOT lose to Iowa State on Saturday because if they do the above number goes up to….
$800,000 Per Freaking Win!
Hell, if Kirk Ferentz keeps up this Mediocre Football at Iowa by the end of the 2015 college football season he could be getting paid something on the order of…
$1,000,000 Per Freaking Win!
…and that’s good money IF you can find people STUPID enough to pay that kind of money for MEDIOCRITY which Kirk Ferentz has found in the state of Iowa IN SPADES!
4. Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Rice – Anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog over the past EIGHT college football seasons knows that we have some good fishing and hunting buddies in the Austin, Texas area who are Texas grads and love showing us “City Boys” what life is like in the Republic of Texas while hunting and fishing and every so often we haul those “Texas Boys” up to Montana to show them what life is like when you really go into backcountry where the trout are large and the grizzly bears will eat your ass if you are not careful!
Getting back to the subject at hand which is….
The Rolling and Raging On Fire Wagon Train
…that is now Texas football we asked our Austin fishing and hunting buddies what the temperature was down in Texas relative to Charlie Strong and Texas football and their replay was…
“Let’s just say that if Texas loses to Rice on Saturday night Charlie Strong’s house could be on the market and sold before the Horns play Cal the next Saturday!”
Uhhhhh….we would call that the temperature of some wings we used to eat at a chicken wing place in Jacksonville Beach, Florida when a few of us were serving in the US Navy that were the Hottest Damn Wings we have ever put in our mouths and the very simple one word name for those wings was:
This is very simple….Charlie Strong and Texas CANNOT lose to Rice on Saturday night…PERIOD.
5. Al Golden, Miami vs. FAU – If there is ONE coach in college football that knows he MUST produce in 2015 meaning win a Helluva lot of football games it is Miami’s head coach Al Golden and in Week 2 Golden and his Hurricanes play Florida Atlantic on Friday night and a loss in this spot with these SIX games up next…
Nebraska At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech At Clemson At Duke
…would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and send Al Golden’s ass onto the face of an O Class Star which in case you didn’t know…
Is One Helluva Hot Place for your ass to be sitting on!
6. Les Miles, LSU vs. Mississippi State – We don’t have any fishing and hunting buddies in the state of Louisiana but we have heard that if LSU loses to Mississippi State on Saturday night that Les Miles will not be traveling back to Baton Rouge with the LSU football team but will instead be taken immediately to Cape Kennedy in Florida where several influential LSU boosters have arranged to have Les Miles and his ass launched on a NASA rocket to…
Calvera the closest neutron star to Earth which is approximately 250 to 1000 light-years from Earth
….which it will take The Mad Hatter several million years to reach and we have also heard that in order to really stick-it-to Les Miles during the entire trip to Calvera those LSU boosters have arranged it so Les Miles will be forced watch a continuous loop replay of the January 2011 BCS Title Game loss to Alabama which most agree was the…
Boringest College Football Game of All Time!
Memo to Les Miles: Don’t Lose to Mississippi State!
7. David Shaw, Stanford vs. UCF – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were on a conference call this week with a “non-athletic related contact” of ours on the Stanford campus who keeps his ears to the ground for us on The Farm since we have to work for a living and cannot hang around the Stanford Athletic Complex and whip the football team into shape which this Stanford football team needs desperately and our “non-athletic related contact” at Stanford said something very Damn interesting on our weekly conference call:
“If Stanford loses to UCF on Saturday there is a very good chance that Stanford doesn’t win 6 games this season because of how fragile and weak this team is and how tough the remaining schedule is.”
Hmmmm….this Stanford football team is “fragile and weak?”
Yep…that was our opinion of the Stanford football team we saw in August on The Farm although our term of…
Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses
…for this the 2015 Stanford football team seems to be a little more on the nose to us!
Let’s look at Stanford’s remaining games in 2015
UCF At USC At Oregon State Arizona UCLA Washington At Washington State At Colorado Oregon California Notre Dame
Yep…if Stanford cannot beat UCF which just lost to FIU on their home field then…
There is NO WAY IN HELL that Stanford gets close to 6 wins this season which would further validate what we have seen happen in recent years that has turned the once Very Damn Tough Stanford Football Program into the…
Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses
…that will fold-up like a cheap tent bought from Wal-Mart if even the slightest gust of wind hits the campground on The Farm in this case!
YES….UCF is a CANNOT lose game for Stanford head coach David Shaw but then when the cake has already been mixed and baked there isn’t a Helluva lot that one can do to that cake once it is sitting on the counter of the kitchen!
8. Mike Leach, Washington State vs. Rutgers – With Washington State about to look down the pipe of NINE Pac-12 Conference Games that will ALL be very difficult wins for the Cougars if there is a game that Mike Leach and his WSU football team needs to win it is this Saturday’s game against Rutgers because a loss in this spot to fall to 0 – 2 on the season and it will next to impossible for Washington State to get to 6 wins in 2015 and that would make…
Three Out of Four Losing Seasons for Mike Leach at Washington State
YES…beating Rutgers is CRITICAL for Mike Leach and the Cougs!
9. Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. Tennessee – There is no doubt in our minds that Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops would like to get the Sooners back into the running for a National Championship before he is politely told that his services are no longer needed in Norman since being just a little better than average is eventually not going to cut it at OU even for Bob Stoops, BUT when you talk to people around Norman and we mean folks that have some insight….not total insight but some insight….into what is going on the feeling that used to pervade Oklahoma football under Stoops….
That Dammit We ARE Going To Win Big 12 Championships and National Titles or Die Trying
….just NO LONGER EXISTS in Norman and there in a nutshell is what is wrong with OU football.
We are always coming up with new ways to rank college football head coaches here at Coaches Hot Seat and one way we came up with this past Summer was the “Hungry Meter” meaning on a 1 to 10 scale how “Hungry” is EVERY college football head coach to win Games, Championships and National Titles either at his current school or a bigger school if a great job opportunity presented itself. We have been tossing around the idea of publishing our opinion on the “Hungry Level” for each college football head coach BUT it is such a subjective opinion based on admitted less-than-perfect information we have held it back….so far.…BUT we will tell you of what “Hungry Level” we have OU head coach Bob Stoops at on a 1 to 10 scale to win Games, Championships and a National Title with the Sooners which is of course just our opinion:
Bob Stoops was a “10” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2001 to 2008
Bob Stoops was a “9” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2009 to 2011
Bob Stoops was an “8” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2012 to 2014
Bob Stoops current rating on the “Hungry Meter” = 7.8
In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat ANY college football head coach who has a rating of less than “9.5” on the Coaches Hot Seat “Hungry Meter” in today’s incredibly Damn competitive college football landscape has NO DAMN CHANCE to win a Conference Championships and National Titles.
Two Coaches Hot Seat members will be traveling up from Atlanta to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game and they will report back on what they see from Bob Stoops and the Sooners….and our guess is….OU loses to Tennessee and ends up with 7 or 8 wins on the season and Bob Stoops is DONE at Oklahoma come December either in reality meaning no longer the head coach at OU or just a coach going through the motions hauling down millions of dollars a year for “X” number of years into the future.
Just our opinion.
10. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Virginia – Of course both Brian Kelly and Virginia head coach Mike London BADLY need a win in this spot BUT this is a game that Brian Kelly CANNOT lose after the Week 1 crushing of the Hapless Texas Longhorns that are still the Texas Longhorns even though they are now Hapless with a Capital “H” under Charlie Strong! With Georgia Tech coming to South Bend a week from Saturday a loss in this spot will not only dash the hopes of Irish faithful all over the country but would set-up the biggest game of Brian Kelly’s career at Notre Dame because a loss to Virginia followed by a loss to the Yellow Jackets at home would more than likely be a irreversible stake into Kelly’s future unless the Irish ran the table the rest of the way and there CANNOT be a Human Being alive on the Earth that believes the Irish could pull that off!
Our guess….Notre Dame whips Virginia just as UCLA did in Week 1….BUT if the Irish flop-around and lose this game to the Cavaliers Brian Kelly might as well travel on down to Cape Kennedy and get on that rocket with Les Miles that is headed to the closest neutron star because South Bend will be a terrible place to be next week even if Kelly will have to watch along with Miles a continuous loop of the 2011 BCS Title Game between LSU and Alabama which thankfully for ALL college football games was So Damn Boring it gave us the College Football Playoff!