Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Laziest Ass College Head Coaches!
Time is getting short for several of these Hot Seat Coaches so let’s get right to it and bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give it straight to these coaches with the bark on!
Thank You Mr. Cash!
1. David Beaty, Kansas – We are not really sure what is going on at Kansas…
…but head coach David Beaty did fire his OC Doug Meacham last week which is like tossing your Executive Officer overboard on US Navy ship as you head towards a reef so you can make sure you hit the reef in the just the right way but come now….in 4 seasons at Kansas Beaty is sitting on records of…
Overall: 5 – 37
Big 12: 1 – 29
…and the Jayhawks still have to play in 2018 games against…
At Texas Tech
At Kansas State
….and we don’t see KU winning any of those games so everyone knows where this is going and as John Wayne said playing character Davey Crockett in the movie The Alamo…
“I always counted on dying, it’s just the where and the when I’m not sure of right now!”
It’s down the Where and the When…just like with Davey Crockett at The Alamo!
2. Chris Ash, Rutgers – Ole Steve Politi wrote after the Rutgers loss to Maryland on Saturday…
….things are really a Damn mess at Rutgers and Chris Ash in 3 years on the job is sitting on records of…
Overall: 7 – 24
Big Ten: 3 – 20
….with still games to be played against in 2018….
At Michigan State
Rutgers is not winning another game in 2018 and when you are a head football coach and in your…
31 st game at a school
…as Chris Ash was coaching on Saturday against Maryland and your team…
Gets Its Ass-Whipped All Over The Damn Field
…and has been…
Getting Its Ass-Whipped All Over the Damn Field All Damn Season
….it matters little that you have a….
…because your ass MUST BE BOUGHT OUT….unless of course the people running Rutgers Athletics needs to have their asses fired and run out of town!
3. Gus Malzahn, Auburn – What we saw on Saturday in the Tennessee – Auburn game wasn’t just an…
Inferior Football Team in Tennessee by 2 or 3 times that beat Auburn on its homefield
….but watching a replay of the game we saw….
Auburn Football Players QUITTING
…which makes sense because we wrote in this blog last week that…
Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team!
Now…when we say that Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team we are saying that because we believe there is a reason why Malzahn has QUIT and that reason…in our humble opinion is…
Gus Malzahn in a Petty, Selfish, and in a Big Ego kind of way has created a toxic place for his assistant coaches to work and that has now seeped down to the Auburn players and unless someone owns up….make that Gus Malzahn accepts direct responsibility for his Pitiful Pettiness, Selfishness, and Massive Ego…and apologizes for acting like a Spoiled Pompous Arrogant Ass to his coaches and players…NOTHING is going to change at Auburn and the now…
4 – 3 Tigers
…will be lucky to win another game….YES lucky to even beat Liberty at home in November since Liberty just beat Troy….this season with these games left:
At Ole Miss
Maybe Gus Malzahn is hoping that Auburn doesn’t win another game and that he will get his ass run off The Plains with $32 million dollars in early December but….we have it on good authority that if Auburn collapses down the stretch and it’s obvious as Hell that Gus Malzahn has Totally Damn QUIT on his football team that Malzahn will have go into court to get that $32M or take a lot less if Auburn runs his ass out of town because when you Flat-Out QUIT your ass is not fulfilling the obligations inherent in being the…
Head Football Coach of the Auburn Tigers!
What is probably coming for Gus Malzahn and the Auburn football team?
Trouble….we see lots of trouble ahead with potentially the President at Auburn getting fired followed by Gus Malzahn getting fired and anyone else that signed-off on the Idiocy of giving someone a 7 year $49 million fully guaranteed contract getting their asses out of Auburn….that’s the trouble that is coming plus a few other items as well if this does indeed implode that will make the insanity around Terry Bowden getting run from Auburn almost 3 decades ago look sane by comparison!
4. Randy Edsall, Connecticut – During this past Summer when about a dozen Coaches Hot Seat members were on our 2018 See America RV Tour which included visits to 30 US states we drove from Gettysburg Battlefield in Pennsylvania to the Hartford area to spend the night before heading into Boston the next day. We went to Hartford because we wanted to meet with a UConn alum + booster of ours to talk to him about Randy Edsall and he met us at a great barbecue restaurant near the Hartford airport called the Bear’s Smokehouse.
We cannot recommend Bear’s Smokehouse – The Official BBQ of the UConn Huskies by the way – enough to folks love barbecue, and on that night when we asked our UConn alum + booster buddy about Edsall his response was a Sigh and then…
“It’s a Damn Mess and has been for awhile. (meaning UConn football.) In my opinion anything less than 6 wins this season and Randy is gone, but who would we hire?”
Our UConn alum + booster passed along a few other tidbits about UConn football we will not post in this spot for various reasons, but if Randy Edsall does need to win 6 games in 2018 then the 1 – 5 Huskies with only a win over FCS Rhode Island and still to play these games…
At South Florida
At East Carolina
….better Damn get busy but come now…is there anyone on Earth thinks UConn will win more than one more game the rest of this season?
Didn’t think so!
We happen to know 3 or 4 coaches we think could turn around and win at UConn in a short amount of time which we passed along to our UConn alum + booster and let’s hope he has passed those names along to the folks at UConn because it looks like 2018 is going to be nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster for the Huskies!
5. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – By all rights North Carolina should have beaten Virginia Tech on Saturday before losing 22 – 19 to the Hokies at home and with that loss Larry Fedora is…
5 – 16
….in his last 21 games at UNC and things don’t get any easier with these games left in 2018…
We would guess that UNC maybe wins 2 more games to finish at…
3 – 9
…for the second straight season and Larry Fedora’s buyout on December 1, 2018….
Now that is Freaking Hilarious because we would not give a contract like that to Nick Saban but then we don’t work in the Total Damn Freaking Fantasyland that is a college campus where ADs make contracts with coaches with…
Other People’s Money
…so what the Hell do they care if they create Totally Damn Stupid contracts?
Hint: They don’t care at all!
Thus why there are so many asinine contracts in college football and also because Athletic Directors and Presidents are…
So Damn Easy To Roll!
6. Brent Brennan, San Jose State – In Brent Brennan’s 19 th game as the head football coach at San Jose State his team got beat by Army….at home mind you…by the score of…
52 – 3
…which leaves Brennan’s records at…
Overall: 2 – 17
MWC: 1 – 10
Oh…San Jose State now at 0 – 6 on the season still has to play in 2018 games against…
At San Diego State
At Utah State
At Fresno State
That looks like at best…a record of….
1 – 11
…for San Jose State in Brennan’s second year on the job and that is not something we would tolerate if we were the AD at SJSU but then come now…if we were the AD at SJSU we would be interested in actually…
Finding a Head Football Coach that could Win Some Football Games
…not looking for a coach that checks off a few boxes and gets recommendations from a few people….many of them out of the game of football because they also got their asses run out of jobs!
That’s just us now and then you have ADs that Don’t Know Their Asses From the Side of a Barn when it comes to hiring football coaches…hiring fraud football coaches that have No Damn Idea how to lead a football program and to win football games on a regular basis across America!
7. Bobby Petrino, Louisville – Louisville lost to Boston College on Saturday by the score of…
38 – 20
…which drops the Cardinals record down to 2 – 5 on the year with games still to play against…
We don’t think Louisville will win another game this season and that Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats will DESTROY Louisville in the last game of the season which will be followed by Bobby Petrino being fired by the AD at Louisville.
That is all.
8. Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Lovie Smith coached his 30 th football game at Illinois against Purdue and his team lost at home to a team with roughly the same amount of talent in Purdue by the score of…
46 – 7
…and what you saw on Saturday was…
Jeff Brohm – A College Head Coach That Has A Damn Clue
Lovie Smith – A College Head Coach That Has No Damn Clue
….and if you cannot figure out a way to not Get Your Damn Ass Whipped All Over The Damn Field in your 30 th game as a head coach going against a team with the same talent as you…
Your Ass Is NEVER Going To Figure It Out!
Lovie Smith is his third year coaching the Illini and his records now stand at…
Overall: 8 – 22
Big Ten: 3 – 18
…and Illinois still have games left against…
We don’t see Illinois winning another game in 2018 but Lovie is being paid…
$5 Million Dollars A Year
…and has a buyout on December 1, 2018 of…
Josh Whitman is the AD at Illinois and not only was the hiring of Lovie Smith to coach a college football team…
..but to give a guy who had never been a college head football coach the above contract in our opinion means that…
Josh Whitman’s ass should be fired today
…but come now…we are talking about an AD here where being…
Stupid As Hell is actually a Freaking Job Requirement!
Anyone that tells you someone is smart because they are an attorney we note that Josh Whitman’s Wikipedia entry says he was graduated…
Summa Cum Laude from the Illinois School of Law!
Now that’s Freaking Hilarious because when Lovie Smith was hired by Illinois three years ago a friend of ours that has worked in the NFL for 30+ years said to us….
“This will turn out to be the Stupidest Hire in recent college football history!”
Close…but there’s a few even worse with Charlie Weis being hired by Kansas easily in our opinion the…
Worst Hire since the end of World War II in major college football
….but Lovie Smith being hired by Illinois might just be #2!
9. Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – So let’s get this straight….
Paul Johnson had a long-term grudge against Louisville defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder so Johnson’s Georgia Tech team whips the Cardinals by a score of…
66 – 31
….but then that same team led by the same coach loses to Duke at home a week later by the score of…
28 – 14
Now what Damn sense does that make and why in the Hell was Paul Johnson not fired on the field after the Duke game?
We have several Georgia Tech alum friends been fed-up with Paul Johnson’s Horseshit for years now and being good engineers who work their asses off in their day jobs they don’t let that the Yellow Jackets look like Total Shit on the field really bother their daily lives but come now…
Over the past two seasons Georgia Tech’s combined record now stands at…
8 – 10
…and Tech still has to play in 2018 games against…
At Virginia Tech
At North Carolina
What…Tech might win 2 more games in 2018 and finish with a second straight 5 win season in Paul Johnson’s 11 th year at the school where Johnson seems more interested in settling scores with other coaches than winning Games and Championships?
Exactly why we would have fired Paul Johnson on the field right after the Duke game on Saturday!
10. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – It’s not easy to find out what’s going on at schools around the country with their football programs on a day-to-day basis with the way coaches hide their football programs from most everyone, but we hear enough things from our contacts and by reading things in the media to form opinions and something we have been kicking around at Coaches Hot Seat for about a year is new Coaches Ranking called the…
Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches
…and in our opinion if we had to list the 10 Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches who in our opinion do a Helluva Lot less work than other coaches around the country the that list would start with…
1. Gus Malzahn, Auburn
2. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State
Why is it our opinion that Gus Malzahn and Mike Gundy are the 2 Laziest Ass College Football Head Coaches in America?
We don’t have to answer that question because…it’s our opinion as Americans and US Military Combat Vets and Mike “I Am A Man but a Lazy Ass Man In Our Opinion” Gundy can stuff that opinion…
Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine!
Even if Mike Gundy is Lazy As Hell….and in our opinion Ole Gundy is Lazy As Hell and has been for a couple of years now as he has shopped his ass around to any school with a job opening that might consider his ass…be lucky you didn’t hire him because Gundy is Lazy As Hell in our opinion….what has landed Gundy on the Hot Seat is the performance of his football team which after losing to a…
Pitiful Kansas State team on Saturday
…is now 4 – 3 on the season and things aren’t going to get any better because…
When Your Head Coach is Lazy As Hell
…and you still have to play games against…
…there’s a decent chance the Cowboys don’t win another game this season and checking the USA Today Coaches Salaries list we see that Gundy’s buyout on December 1, 2018 is…
…and that might be a number that T. Boone Pickens would be wise to write a check for since Ole Boone is 90 years old and if he wants to see Okie State win a national title that’s not something he will see with a..
Lazy Ass Head Coach in Stillwater!
Memo to T. Boone Pickens: Boone, we know a Helluva Head Football Coach that would love to have the Oklahoma State job and in addition to not being Lazy As Hell like Mike Gundy he could win in 2019 so you might want to get that checkbook out and make it out to…
…for $16.25 Million Dollars and on the comments line just write in:
To fire the 2 nd Damn Laziest Coach in College Football!
In our humble opinion of course!
You want the name of that coach Boone just give us a call…you should have our number!