Tag Archive: FSU

2018 Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Let’s Bring Out The Great Johnny Cash To Give These Hot Seat coaches Hell! – Thank You Johnny!

The Week 3 College Football Games are done and watching college football in person at UC Davis – Stanford game and then watching a Helluva lot of college football on television on Saturday it’s hard to imagine how the game could be better and let’s hope that it keeps going like this for a long time into the future.

The game of football in America is facing a lot of issues that will have to be dealt with for the game to navigate its way forward, and one of the things that needs to be done is move the current FBS 4-Team College Football Playoff to 8-Teams with 5 Power Five Conference Champs (If 3 losses or less) + 3 Wildcard teams but more on that as the season moves along because worrying about the Postseason Playoff takes away from the games being played right now!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1. Urban Meyer, Ohio State – We watched the interview that ESPN’s Tom Rinaldi did with Urban Meyer that aired on Sunday and it’s an interesting interview with a lot going on beyond what Meyer said…which wasn’t much….but to guess on what Meyer was thinking would be speculative and we are all about speculation and opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat!

In our humble opinion Urban Meyer sees both of the Smiths complicit in the failure of their marriage which flows from how Meyer was raised in that there are issues in all marriages but that two mature adults…especially ones with children…should be able to work things out and for lots of reasons the Smith marriage just imploded which probably seems unthinkable to Meyer.

There’s an old saying attributed to Lou Holtz that….

“If he’s got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don’t hire him.”

…with the implication being that a good assistant football coach isn’t planning on playing lots of golf when working for Holtz. What is also implicit in the above statement is that Lou Holtz was interested in the personal lives of his coaches as it pertains to their ability to do their job, and when something is going wrong with someone’s personal life that will of course impact that person’s work as well. In our opinion there’s not a chance in Hell that Urban Meyer wasn’t aware that Smith was having lots of problems with his marriage and that Smith was doing all kinds of Crazy Shit in his personal life, and anyone that has been around a football team knows…

Everyone knows…especially the coaches….what’s going on with everyone if it falls outside what would be considered “normal”

…and for whatever reason Meyer kept Smith around with Meyer now admitting he should have fired the troubled Smith long ago which is incredibly obvious to anyone that can read the recent reports on this issue.

If we were a head football coach in college we would realize that is a very public position and that the coaches on our staff were also in very public positions and with what’s happened at Ohio State in mind we would talk to each our coaches and support staff and tell them straight-up:

“If something is going on in your personal life that is a problem…I am talking about a serious problem and not just normal personal or marriage issues…I want to know about it because you are representing this university and you are working for me and I don’t want to be surprised by something down the road. I can help you a lot with issues, even personal issues, but I cannot help you if you don’t tell me about it so keep that in mind.”

Will see what if anything else comes out on this Smith issue at Ohio State, and if something else does come out we would not be surprised, but for now it seems it has quieted down which is of course the same thing that happened with the Tressel issue. We shall see.

Interestingly Ohio State has looked like a team that can beat anyone in the country including Alabama in its first three games of the season and it will be fascinating to see how the Buckeyes play under Meyer in the coming weeks with OSU having left:

Tulane
At Penn State
Indiana
Minnesota
At Purdue
Nebraska
At Michigan State
At Maryland
Michigan

Our guess the Buckeyes lose 2 of their remaining 9 games which would be a Major Disappointment and lead to a lot of folks asking a lot of questions to why in the Hell a team with enough talent to beat anyone in the country ended up with 2 losses in the regular season!

2.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – It was probably a Godsend that North Carolina didn’t play UCF at home on Saturday because of Hurricane Florence since UCF would have probably blasted the falling to pieces Tar Heels who are 0 – 2 and still have games left against…

Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

Our guess UNC wins 3 of their last 9 games to finish at….

3 – 9

…in 2018 which will open up the North Carolina job which is a Good but not Great job in college football but certainly a job we would walk from San Francisco to Chapel Hill to take if they offered it to anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat!

3.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – The first time any of us ran into Willie Taggart was in 2007 when he came to Stanford to coach running backs for Jim Harbaugh on The Farm and we can be honest here and say we are biased FOR Willie Taggart but for Damn sure we are not going to tolerate Willie or ANY other coach blowing up a college football program…especially one like Florida State….just because we like the guy!

We really don’t have a clue how good of a Head Football Coach that Willie Taggart is since he spent so little time at his previous HC stops at Western Kentucky, South Florida, and Oregon before taking over at FSU but we can tell you what we have been told by our friends in Florida who have been around Florida State football going back to the 1970s which is before Bobby Bowden arrived in Tallahassee in 1976 some very interesting and some very troubling things.

Back in August a Florida State-alum buddy of ours who has had season tickets to FSU games since the 1970s and who we have known since the late 1980s hinted in some conversations that he was hearing that….

“There is no football being practiced at Florida State. It’s just a lot of PR fluff.”

That is the phrase he used back in August for what Willie Taggart and his coaching staff were doing at FSU practices…

“It’s just a lot of PR fluff.”

After seeing FSU play against Virginia Tech, Samford, and Syracuse we don’t need someone watching FSU practice to know what is going on in Tallahassee because it’s as Plain As Damn Day and that is….

Willie Taggart and his Assistant Coaches are NOT coaching football at Florida State!

…but rather it’s just a lot “making sure the players are happy” and guess what Willie….

You have a football team that has already QUIT on you Son!

…and if you don’t start Coaching The Game of Football with your FSU football team TODAY….meaning Monday….then there’s a good chance you will not be the head coach at Florida State in 2019 and if you get run from this job after one year you will have a tough time getting a high school head coaching job in the future!

We have been told by that same FSU-alum buddy of ours that a significant portion of the $30M or so that it would take to buyout Willie Taggart and everyone that Willie has hired has already been raised and that if Florida State keeps playing the way they did against Syracuse…

Where the Florida State Football Team QUIT

….Willie Taggart will be fired shortly after the Florida game on November 24!

YES….it’s that bad Willie and your better Damn start coaching your football team especially with what you have left to play…

Northern Illinois
At Louisville
At Miami
Wake Forest
Clemson
At NC State
At Notre Dame
Boston College
Florida

If FSU plays the rest of the season the way they played against Syracuse…

They will not win another football game and finish the season at 1 – 11 and Willie Taggart and his entire coaching staff WILL BE FIRED in late November!

Northern Illinois comes to Tallahassee on Saturday with a pretty good football team that would love to beat FSU whether the Seminoles are any good or not and if FSU loses this game there will not be more than 20,000 people at any home FSU game the rest of the year so YES you could say there is a Helluva Lot riding on Saturday’s game and most of all what we would like to see is a…

FSU Football Team that actually shows up and plays like men instead of the Candy Ass Cowards and Quitters that Willie Taggart has been running out on the field in the first three games of the season!

Lastly we will leave Willie Taggart with a comment from an ACC assistant coach we talked to on Sunday and passing along this comment, even if we don’t identify the assistant, will probably end us talking to that coach but we think it’s important enough of a comment to relay in this spot, and the comment is the general feeling among the coaches on this particular ACC football team and that comment is in the form of a question:

ACC Assistant Coach: “Any way you can take Taggart off the Hot Seat?”

CHS: “Why is that?”

ACC Assistant Coach: “Because we need to keep Willie in Tallahassee for as long as possible since it’s a guaranteed win every year now!”

You gonna take that Willie?

If not then how about showing up at practice on Monday and quit giving a Damn about making your players happy and….

Coaching The Freaking Game of Football Son

…and you can start by running the Hell out of the 15+ players on your FSU football team that Flat-Out QUIT against Syracuse!

The Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his book The Prince that….

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”

…and what Willie Taggart needs to understand is….

Your players will NEVER Love you if they do not Respect you and right now….

The FSU players have No Damn Respect for Willie Taggart or the FSU Assistant Coaches

…but be assured if dozen members of Coaches Hot Seat took over the Florida State football program on Monday by Tuesday evening after practice the players still left on the team….

Would Respect Us….You Can Damn Sure Count On That….Because We Would Tolerate Nothing But Respect From Our Players and the same should go for Willie Taggart!

4.  Clay Helton, USC – It’s impossible to understand the situation that USC head coach Clay Helton is in today unless you grew up watching USC football in the 1970s when the Trojans were one of the Top 10 teams in the country every year. Yes, Pete Carroll had a great run at USC from 2001 – 2009 but the USC alumni in their 50s, 60s, and 70s who have a Helluva Lot of money and influence in the Los Angeles and all over the world even are just not going to tolerate Clay Helton turning USC into average football program even if Helton is sitting on records now of…

Overall:  28 – 12

Pac-12:  20 – 6

The above are pretty decent numbers, but our friends who are USC-alums don’t think those records are so great and when they see in person in Austin the Trojans get blown-out by 23 points to a Texas team that lost to Maryland which just lost to Freaking Temple then you have some…

Pissed-Off USC Folks

…and believe it….they are now passing the hat around to raise the money to fire Clay Helton later this year if it comes to it which caused a member of Coaches Hot Seat to ask one our USC-alum buddies who could buy and sell Nick Saban in about 15 minutes on Sunday….

“What would it take for Helton to keep his job at USC?”

USC-alum:  “Clay better Damn win out the rest of the games.”

OK…let’s look at the remaining 9 games that Clay better Damn win every Damn one of them!

Washington State
At Arizona
Colorado
At Utah
Arizona State
At Oregon State
Cal
At UCLA
Notre Dame

Don’t think there’s a chance in Hell that Clay Helton and the USC Trojans win their last 9 games and if we had to guess we would say they go….

6 – 3 or 7 – 2 at best!

You know what that means right?

USC will be looking for a new head football coach by December and we happen to know a college head football coach with a team in the Top 15 who would love a shot at the USC job!

We wouldn’t recommend that Clay Helton and the Trojans lose to Washington State on Friday night OR any game the rest of the season or it’s Dandy Don time in South LA!

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – Maybe it’s just us but if we had…

$49 Million Dollars Guaranteed in our back pocket

…over the next 7 years whether we won another football game or not we would NOT….

Coach Like A Damn Coward

….but on Saturday at Jordan-Hare Stadium on The Plains in Auburn you had Gus Malzahn again….

Coaching Like A Damn Coward Against LSU!

Why Gus?

Can you please explain to us why you are still…

Coaching Like A Damn Coward Scared of Your Shadow Son?

Auburn has one of the best defenses in America and Gus is coaching the Tigers offense like the AU defense is not even going to show up for the game and just why in the Hell is that Gus?

Clearly that’s a question that Gus Malzahn is not going to answer but it’s a Helluva question because you give anyone at Coaches Hot Seat….

Guaranteed $49 Million Dollars over the next 7 Years

…we are going to attack your ass…

All Over The Field
Up and Down the Field
In the Damn Stands If Necessary

…to score as many Damn points as possible because….

We have no Damn Fear of anything because our ass is going to get paid $49 Million Dollars Whatever the Hell Happens!

Let’s look at Malzahn’s seasons at Auburn:

2013:  12 – 2
2014:  8 – 5
2015:  7 – 6
2016:  8 – 5
2017:  10 – 4

Geez…that’s 4+ losses in 4 of Gus’s 5 seasons at Auburn AND he is….

Guaranteed to make $7M a season for the next 7 years if he doesn’t win another football game!

Please now Gus….

Why in the Hell are you coaching the Auburn football team like a Damn Coward Son?

Let’s see what Auburn has left in 2018:

Arkansas
Southern Miss
At Mississippi State
Tennessee
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

That looks like at least THREE more losses which again would be….

FOUR losses on the season

…and that means….

8 – 4

….or could even be a….

7 – 5

…record in 2018 and we have to wonder just what Big Chumps the folks at Auburn will feel like if Gus Malzahn lays down a 8 – 4 or 7 – 5 after you just guaranteed him $49 Million Dollars?

Got VERY BIG Chumps?

Yep!

6.  Major Applewhite, Houston – Big-Time Houston booster and billionaire Tillman Fertitta made it clear a couple of years ago that….

Anything less than 10 wins a year with Houston football is not acceptable

…and after Major Applewhite put up a record of 7 – 5 in year one at Houston it was made clear to us that Major needed to hit the 10 win mark in 2018 to keep his job going into 2019 and losing to a Texas Tech team that got blasted by Ole Miss which just got blasted by Alabama is no doubt something that Tillman Fertitta has noted and with that in mind let’s see what the 2 – 1 Cougars have left on their schedule in 2018:

Texas Southern
Tulsa
At East Carolina
At Navy
USF
At SMU
Temple
Tulane
At Memphis

Let’s assume Fertitta is willing to give Major Applewhite a chance to get to 10 wins by winning a bowl game so that would mean Houston needs to win…

7 of their last 9 games

….and that’s going to be a challenge….a BIG Challenge!

7.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – Kevin Sumlin’s Arizona team beat FCS Southern Utah on Saturday night to raise their record to 1 – 2 but it’s back to Real Football in Week 4 with a game at Oregon State and a game that Sumlin and the Wildcats….

Better Damn Not Lose

….because if Arizona cannot beat Oregon State then we rather doubt they will win another game in 2018 and just think we thought at the beginning of the season that…

Anything less than 7 wins in 2018 would be a Total Disaster for Arizona!

Let’s look at the rest of Arizona’s schedule:

At Oregon State
USC
Cal
At Utah
At UCLA
Oregon
Colorado
At Washington State
Arizona State

We don’t have a Damn Clue how Arizona gets to 6 wins in 2018 = Code Red Total Damn Disaster for Kevin Sumlin in Year 1 in Tucson!

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – The Illini were up on South Florida for most of the game on Saturday before letting USF get them in the fourth quarter and that loss to the Bulls drops Illinois head coach Lovie Smith’s records to….

Overall:  7 – 20

Big Ten:  2 – 16

….and Big Ten Conference play starts this coming Saturday for the Illini with…

Penn State coming to Champaign!

Oh…here’s the rest of the Illini schedule who are now at 2 – 1:

Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

Our guess the Illini win 2 of their remaining 9 games to finish at 4 – 8 which is DOUBLE the number of wins the last two seasons for Illinois!

Woo-Freaking-Hoo!

Maybe give Lovie and extension and raise he gets to 4 wins in 2018?

It’s Illinois after all where Average is Great and Good is You Are A Freaking God on Earth!

9.  David Beaty, Kansas – You gotta give whoever is making the schedules in Lawrence great credit because when you open the season with….

Nicholls
At Central Michigan
Rutgers

….you are hoping for a 2 – 1 start at least and that is what David Beaty and Kansas got and now it’s back to Big Boy Football in Week 4 with a trip to Baylor but come now….Baylor just got blasted by Duke in Waco and Hell…

Kansas could move to 3 – 1 with a win over Baylor on Saturday!

After Baylor its…

Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

We would recommend that David Beaty and Kansas find a way to beat Baylor in Waco in Saturday because if you can’t beat Baylor….

You will not win another game this season!

10.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – After a slow start in the game against SMU the Wolverines turned it up a few notches and coasted to a 45 – 20 win over the Mustangs and looky-here we have a…

Damn Fascinating Game in Ann Arbor on Saturday

…with winless Nebraska and new head coach Scott Frost coming into town in a game that…

Neither Team or Coach can afford to lose

….and that’s true for Jim Harbaugh and Michigan because what comes after the Huskers visit to the Big House:

At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

The way that Wisconsin looked against BYU and Michigan State against Arizona State we don’t see why Michigan doesn’t get to the Ohio State game with more than 2 losses or less because the above are all teams that Blue should beat save the game against Penn State on November 3 and even that game is winnable.

Jim Harbaugh and Michigan just CANNOT LOSE to Nebraska this coming Saturday and to lose this game would nothing short of a Code Red Total Disaster!

Great Luck Jimmy!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

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Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.