Tag Archive: Gus Malzahn

No One Will Believe What Happened in 2020 In 10 Years! – Whatever the Hell It is Week Coaches Hot Seat Rankings! – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

In the 50+ years that the 7 people that founded Coaches Hot Seat in the Fall of 2006 been on Earth we cannot recall anything like what has happened in 2020, and even as we are more connected than ever on the Internet it’s our opinion the American People today collectively know less, read less, ask questions less, and ponder big questions less than anytime in American history. We have no idea what’s coming in the next 25 years, but if we are around to see it we are confident people will not believe what we will tell them about what happened in….2020!

One of the things no one will believe in 10 years is that so much time was spent testing College Age Kids for Corona Virus when it has a Fatality Rate lower than the Seasonal Flu for those under 30, but especially that lots of college football games have been cancelled and moved around for Positive Corona Virus Tests that if it was the Flu would mean nothing at all. Corona Virus primarily kills people over the age of 65 and America instead of Protecting Older Americans + Those Pre-Existing Conditions until a Corona Virus Vaccine was available the US + State + Local Governments have taken a Sledgehammer to the entire American Society and if they just done the former there be 200,000+ less dead Americans today.

Indeed, We Are Damn Morons and that will come be well-known in future years once everyone understands what Was and Wasn’t Done to stop a Corona Virus that can be stopped with a combination of Protecting the Vulnerable and a Few Simple Health Rules for the rest. Yes….We Are Damn Morons!

On to College Football in Whatever the Hell Week we just wrapped up it was another fascinating week of football that did have some impact on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings including launching Louisville Head Coach Scott Satterfield onto the Hot Seat for taking an interview with South Carolina when Scott should have known doing such things at a place like Louisville is Very Damn Stupid Indeed! 3 – 7 Louisville hosts Wake Forest this coming Saturday and we would recommend Scott Satterfield win that game or he may just find his ass launched onto a Hot Seat that could end his Head Coaching career and all for what…

So your ass could turn down a job that went to a Tight-Ends Coach?

Very Dumb Scott Satterfield….Very Damn Dumb Son!

Speaking of Dumb when Will Muschamp was hired as the South Carolina Head Coach by AD Ray Tanner 5 years ago we wrote in this Coaches Hot Seat Blog why in the Hell someone would hire a coach that got his ass fired a Florida where it’s almost impossible to get your ass fired since Captain Kangaroo would win 8 games a year at Florida?

5 Years Later Will Muschamp is now gone leaving behind records of..

Overall:  28 – 30

SEC:  17 – 22

…which was as predictable as the Sun coming up in the East but as Batshit Crazy as the hiring of Will Muschamp was the hiring of Shane Beamer who at 43 years of ago has NEVER even held a Coordinator Position on Any Level of Football is a Total Damn Lunacy not of this Earth or of Any Known Planet in the Universe!

In 2019 we were talking to a College Football Coach about Shane Beamer and asked him why Beamer had not gotten a Coordinator Position and his response was >

“He will never get a Coordinator Position, but I would bet he will get a Head Coaching Job because of his last name and only because of his last name.”

We happen to agree and if you change Shane Beamer’s last name to Smith there’s not a Chance In Hell he would have even gotten an interview for the South Carolina Head Coaching Job since there are at least 500 Coaches in College Football more accomplished than Smith….make that Beamer!

Shane Beamer spent 4 years at South Carolina and he’s a Bright Kid…but what in the Hell does that have to do with South Carolina hiring…

The Very Best Damn Coach it Can = A Winner That Has Proven He Can Win on the FBS Level as A Head Coach!

South Carolina just hired a Tight-Ends Coach from Oklahoma because his last name is Beamer and in our opinion…..

Ray Tanner should be fired today but he won’t be because Ray Tanner could Totally Destroy South Carolina Football and Burn Down the University of South Carolina and Stupid Shits in South Carolina be lined-up for miles in Columbia to tell you about how great Ray Tanner is….in our humble opinion!

Please…this Shane Beamer hiring is Total Damn Lunacy after the Batshit Crazy hiring of Will Muschamp and in a Sane World Ray Tanner would be in an Insane Asylum….in our humble opinion!

On to the Whatever the Hell It is Week Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!

Mr. Johnny Cash could you please give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell?

Thank You Johnny!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – Jim Harbaugh is the same age as many folks at Coaches Hot Seat so we grew up watching Jim, playing College Football the same time as Jim, knowing Jim’s Father Jack Harbaugh, and generally we were very supportive of Jim getting the Stanford job in 2006 and we pushed as much as we could for Stanford to hire Jim over the other finalist who will remain nameless in this blog.

People you give a Damn about you will give the hardest time when they are slacking off and it’s our opinion since Ohio State boat-raced Michigan at the end of the 2018 season the Michigan Football Team has been on a continuous spiral downwards with Little to No Damn Leadership from Jim Harbaugh which led to these records since that OSU game >

Overall:  11 – 9

Big Ten:  8 – 7

We know some folks in Ann Arbor and have a suspicion on what is going on with Jim Harbaugh and why he has lost a lot of his fire the last couple of seasons which has led to a…

Dramatic Decline in Michigan Defensive Play

A Michigan Offense That Has No Rhyme, No Reason, No Heart, No Style, Hell…It Has Nothing At All!

Jim Harbaugh drove Stanford Football, the San Francisco 49rs, and even Michigan Football until the 2018 season like Vince Lombardi drove the Green Bay Packers, but that Jim Harbaugh is gone and it’s our opinion if Jim is not going to give his all to Michigan then he should go find something else to do whether it’s coaching in the NFL or something else…

Just go find something you have a Passion for Jim because Michigan Football right now is a…

Damn Embarrassment!

A buddy ours who works for an NFL team asked us recently…

“Would we hire Jim Harbaugh right now to coach an NFL team?”

Our response was….

“We would have to talk to Jim in person before we could answer that question because something’s wrong with Jim now and maybe a change of scenery would give Jim new energy…or maybe it wouldn’t. For Damn Sure though we would know after talking to Jim for 10 minutes if we would hire him or not and anyone that knows how to interview people the right way would know it too.”

2 – 4 Michigan has Ohio State left on their schedule and the Buckeyes have been established as 30-point favorites in what would be Jim Harbaugh’s….

72 nd game at Michigan

Sorry but if your ass is the Head Football Coach at Michigan and you are 30 point underdogs to Ohio State in your 6 th season on the job…

Your Ass Should Be Fired!

And Bo Schembechler if alive and Michigan AD would have already fired Jim Harbaugh’s ass….in our humble opinion!

2.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – We are confident that Kevin Sumlin never saw coming where he is now in his Head Coaching Career and what a great lesson Sumlin is if you don’t care about money and no Real Football Coach cares about money because they are too worried about Winning Football Games.

After Kevin Sumlin got fired at Texas A&M and got a Shit-Load-Ton Potful of Money on the way out the door he should have taken a year or 2 off from coaching but for some reason Arizona came calling to hire a coach who just got fired at Texas A&M which is a Helluva Lot Easier Place to Win Football Games than Arizona!

Why Arizona ever considered Kevin Sumlin for their head coaching job or why Sumlin took the job is a mystery to us but 3 seasons in Sumlin is sitting on records of..

Overall:  9 – 19

Pac-12:  6 – 16

…which is nothing less than a Total and Complete Disaster!

0 – 4 Arizona hosts 0 – 2 Arizona Sate this coming Friday in what can only be described as…

A Total Disaster in Tucson!

3.  Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – Tennessee playing a Freshman Quarterback #15 against Florida seemed to keep things pretty simple on Offense to try and get the kid some experience and the Sophomore QB #12 that came in looked even better with him being able to handle some more aggressive plays but really now…

In your 33 rd game as the Head Coach at Tennessee you are not competitive at all against Florida….at home in Neyland Stadium?

Jeremy Pruitt’s records are bad enough…

Overall:  15 – 18

SEC:  9 – 15

…but even worse is Pruitt’s record against FBS Teams with .500+ records…

7 – 14

Really….at the University of Tennessee you have a 33% winning percentage against FBS Teams with .500+ records?

Phil Fulmer can do whatever he wants with Jeremy Pruitt job status as long as he’s the AD at Tennessee but there’s Not A Chance In Hell if we had taken over the Vols AD job 3 years ago we interviewed any of the 3 Candidates that Fulmer had as his finalists…

Mel Tucker
Kevin Steele
Jeremy Pruitt

Really….that’s the best Tennessee Football can do?

Sorry but that’s Damn Pitiful and the now 2 – 6 Vols have left in 2020…

At Vanderbilt
Texas A&M

…and if Tennessee loses to Vanderbilt this coming Saturday we have been told by our friends in Knoxville that there’s better than a 50 – 50 chance that both Phil Fulmer and Jeremy Pruitt will be fired before the Texas A&M game and Tennessee will go after Hugh Freeze as their next Head Coach….before Auburn does it as well!

4.  Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – A Virginia Tech alum buddy of ours that works on Wall Street called on Sunday and says….

“In the last 3 seasons Fuente’s records are 18 – 18 overall and 13 – 12 in ACC play and for the life of me I cannot imagine Fuente coaching the Hokies in 2021.”

With the 4 – 6 Hokies only having Virginia at home left on the schedule we cannot imagine it either!

5.  Tom Herman, Texas – With that 69 – 31 win over Kansas State to move to 6 – 3 on the season and only Pitiful Kansas left Tom Herman will have a 7 – 3 record on the board in 2020 which would leave Herman’s records in 4 seasons at Texas at….

Overall:  32 – 18  .644

Big 12:  22 – 14  .611

If the above records are acceptable to the folks at Texas fine, but they sure the Hell NOT would be acceptable to us nor our Texas-alum buddies who we missed fishing with in South Texas this Summer because of this Damn Corona Virus!

With Urban Meyer reportedly turning down the Texas job that leaves the folks in Austin in an interesting spot with an open engagement with Urban Meyer on the table and no other obvious coach out there that would get Texas Fans and Big Boosters excited.

Now if we were the Athletic Director at Texas understanding the Critical Role that the Head Football Coach at Texas plays in not only winning football games but raising money, talking-up boosters, engaging with fans, and generally being someone who isn’t a Total Damn Ass like Tom Herman who believes his Ass was put on Earth for everyone else to kiss…in our humble opinion….we would fire Tom Herman and hire Any Random Person off the streets of Austin and be assured it be a step-up just on the Human Being scale and yet who should Texas hire to replace Herman then?

Well…if Urban Meyer is out below are the Coaches we would talk to in order to see if they were interested in the Texas Head Coaching Job >

Brian Kelly
Dan Mullen
Matt Campbell
Mario Cristobal
Jamey Chadwell
Luke Fickell
Bryan Harsin

One of the above Coaches would take the Texas job…in our humble opinion and ALL be better than Tom Herman!

6.  Jeff Brohm, Purdue – Someone that is making $5M+ Dollars shouldn’t be posting records that look like this at Purdue or anywhere else…

2017:  7 – 6
2018:  6 – 7
2019:  4 – 8
2020:  2 – 4

That 2 – 4 Purdue team has a game left at Indiana so that’s 2 – 5 more than likely in Jeff Brohm’s 4 th year at Purdue and a team that in Brohm’s 44 th game just flat-out…

Got Its Ass Whipped by Nebraska Team that had only 2 Wins coming into the game!

Please…can someone tell us what Jeff Brohm is doing because in our opinion you could fire the Entire Damn Purdue Coaching Staff today and just roll the footballs out onto the practice field and the Boilermakers play a Lot Better and a Helluva Lot Harder!

7.  Scott Frost, Nebraska – Scott Frost has now entered the “Mike Shula” era of his career where if Frost can just get his ass dressed in the morning and get his ass into work and beat Pitiful Damn Teams like Penn State and Purdue it’s a…

Huge Victory!

Famously many Alabama Football Fans were Fighting Like Dogs to keep Mike Shula as the Head Coach at Alabama when after 4 seasons on the job Shula had posted a record of…

26 – 23

..and it is our humble opinion that Scott Frost could Burn Down the Nebraska Football Program and Entire State of Nebraska and a majority of Nebraska Football fans would be cheering him on hoping he could burn down something else!

In the Real World this is called Mass Delusional and it’s a real problem at Nebraska now where people are able to justify Scott Frost sitting on a record of…..

11 – 19

…after 3 years on the job and if the Huskers beat Minnesota to end the season that be..

12 – 19

…and here are the records of the 2 Previous Head Coaches at Nebraska after 3 seasons on the job…

Bill Callahan:  22 – 15

Mike Riley:  19 – 19

As we said….Mass Delusion + Lots of Stupid Shit!

Today most fans of Alabama Football will readily admit that accepting the Mike Shula Years at Alabama was a form of Total Damn Lunacy and eventually if Scott Frost continues on his current trend it will be seen as Total Damn Lunacy as well.

8.  Dino Babers, Syracuse – With the loss to Notre Dame on Saturday the Orange finished at 1 – 10 in 2020 and Dino Babers records after 5 seasons on the job now stand at…

Overall:  24 – 36

SEC:  13 – 29

…with only ONE Winning Season on the board and if that’s OK for the folks that run and cheer for Syracuse Football then Fine and Dandy and immediately turn in your American Citizen Cards because your ass should be living in a Communist Country that is willing to accept Total Mediocrity!

9.  Les Miles, Kansas – With only Texas left on the schedule for 0 – 9 Kansas Les Miles is headed for a Winless Record in his 2nd Season on the job which has left Miles’ records at…

Overall:  3 – 17

Big 12:  1 – 15

Please…Someone…Anyone…can you tell us why Les Miles was hired at Kansas?

Looking for some Damn Moron to speak-up and we don’t even see or hear that!

10.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – If Gus Malzahn is succeeding at Auburn then Auburn Fans must be willing to accept 4+ Losses A Season for…wait for it…

7 Straight Seasons Now

….which is what you got with Gus Malzahn and that would be FIVE losses in 2020 if the SEC Conference actually employed Refs that knew their ass from the side of a barn…the Bogus Arkansas Game ending of course!

What it really comes down to Auburn is…

Are you willing to accept Total Damn Mediocrity?

If you are….GREAT….then keep Gus Malzahn but understand that you…meaning Auburn….

Is Totally Damn Mediocre….and You Love It!

Embrace that Truth and Love It!

Tua’s College Career Ending Injury at Alabama – Don’t Believe Someone Just Because They Are Wearing A White Coat! – 2019 Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Thank You Johnny Cash!

Tua’s College Career Ending Injury at Alabama – Don’t Believe Someone Just Because They Are Wearing A White Coat!

There’s a Helluva Lot we could write about Tua’s college career ending hip injury at Alabama, but it is the opinion of the Doctors who are members of Coaches Hot Seat that the surgery for a high ankle sprain that Tua had was Totally Damn Unnecessary and that Tua should have just rested his ankle for a couple of weeks and come back and played when healthy enough to play again!

We have visited the Great State of Alabama dozens of times in the 13 seasons that Coaches Hot Seat has existed and dozens of times before that going back to the early 1980s and there is a serious problem in Alabama that far Damn too many people will do something just because a Doctor tells them to do something. It is our opinion that there is Way Damn Too Much orthopedic surgery going on in the state of Alabama, across the Southern United States, and with University of Alabama athletes and it is far past time for Nick Saban, AD Greg Byrne, parents of Alabama athletes, and others around Alabama to quit always deferring to a surgeon just because he or she recommends surgery!

We have some news for you folks…

Surgeons Love To Do Surgery because…they make a Helluva Lot of $$$….doing Damn surgery!

We will go further than that…

Surgeons will often do Total Damn Horseshit Surgeries and it is our opinion that the high ankle sprain surgery that Tua got by the Doctors who work for the University of Alabama Football team was…

Total Damn Horseshit!

That’s our opinion as American Citizens and as former athletes because a high ankle sprain, which many of us had in high school and college, is something that needs to be rested for 2 to 3 weeks. YES…Tua would have been out for a couple of weeks resting that ankle but instead he had surgery done and then was rushed back for the LSU game…in our opinion…which was game he was obviously limping in even in the first half and which led to him being a lot less mobile quarterback…and wait for it…a lot less mobile quarterback will have a hard time getting away from defenders just like Tua wasn’t able to do against Mississippi State when he took the hit that ended his college career!

Damn Idiocy goes like this….

Total Horseshit High Ankle Sprain Surgery
Tua Is Not Totally Healthy For LSU Game and Plays Limping Throughout
Tua Is Not Totally Healthy for Mississippi State Game and Plays and Is Not That Mobile
Tua Gets College Career Ending Hit Because His Ass….Is Not As Mobile As He Should Be Because…Wait For It….His Ass Should Have NEVER Has the High Ankle Sprain Surgery!

Memo to Nick Saban: Just because a Doctor or Surgeon says that he or she should do “X” for an Alabama player does not mean you should accept that advice or that the player should take that advice, and it would be good policy for You and the Player + His Family to get 2 or even 3 other opinions on the issue and if you had done that with Tua on both his high ankle sprain surgeries there’s a very Damn good chance…

Neither Surgery Would Have Happened!

Here’s the problem with far too many people in Alabama and across America >

Just because someone in white coat who thinks his or her Precious Ass is God-All-Damn-Knowing Everything because they went to medical school doesn’t mean you do something just because they told you to do something and if Nick Saban had…

Worked One Damn Day in the Real World

…his ass would know this by now but since Nick Saban has…

Not Worked One Damn Day in the Real World In His Entire Damn Life

…he actually believes Damn Everything a doctor tell him!

Sorry Nick…Doctors and Surgeons are not only Incompetent at Times they only make $$$….doing Things like Surgeries…not just for athletes at Alabama but because they can tell other patients and the family of patients…

“We did the Tua surgery!”

Think Nick Saban….it’s time for you to THINK Son!

Surgeons make Millions of Dollars….wait for it….Doing Damn Surgery….and just because some Surgeon Hack has made Tens of Millions of Dollars doing surgery and has big houses in Birmingham and on the Gulf Coast does NOT mean that you have to believe his Worthless Hack Ass or the what his “mentees” believe should be done Saban and when your ass finally understands that you will for the first time in your life actually begin…

Looking out for your players instead of always taking the advice of people that make all that money doing things…such as unnecessary surgeries…that happens in our opinion…

Thousands of Times in the State of Alabama Every Damn Year!

Get A Damn Clue Nick Saban and next time you have player that is not 100% healthy….

Don’t Play His Ass in a game that you could have won playing Captain Kangaroo at Quarterback!

This is on YOU Nick Saban for blindly believed Hack Surgeons who make Millions of Dollars doing surgery and or playing Tua against Mississippi State when he should NOT have even been dressed for the game!

Needless to say ALL of the above are our opinions…they are educated opinions…but they are our opinions!

Let’s bring out the Late Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

2019 Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Mark Dantonio, Michigan State – One of the most important things for people running anything from a company to an athletic department are troubling trends and Mark Dantonio is on one Helluva troubling trend at Michigan State with a record in Big Ten Conference play the last four seasons of…

15 – 19

…and even worse…

6+ losses in 3 of the last 4 seasons!

6+ losses in 3 of the last 4 seasons is just flat-out Frightening to anyone that cares about Michigan State football and when one looks ahead to 2020 the Spartans have…

At BYU
Toledo
Miami

….in addition to 9 Big Ten Conference games and does anyone think 2020 is going to be better than 2019 when it seems Mark Dantonio is unable to make the necessary changes to keep up with modern game of football?

Not in our opinion and Michigan State now at 4 – 6 on the season have left to play…

At Rutgers
Maryland

…which are 2 of the worst 10 teams in FBS Football in 2019 and if Spartans lose either game one would have to think that Dantonio is done in East Lansing.

2.  Scott Frost, Nebraska – Scott Frost sitting on records in his second season at Nebraska of…

Overall:  8 – 14

Big Ten:  5 – 11

….and has been nothing short of a Total Disaster with no end in sight because the Huskers play is often unorganized, undisciplined…un-coached even at times…and now at 4 – 6 on the season Nebraska has left…

At Maryland
Iowa

This 2019 Maryland team is one of the worst Power 5 Conference School Teams we have seen play in recent memory and what if….YES…what if Nebraska went to College Park and….GASP….lost to Maryland?

If Nebraska loses to Maryland then Scott Frost may indeed be done because it would be a loss that Nebraska Football may never recover from under Frost or any other coach in the foreseeable future which is roughly 10 years in our mind so we would REALLY recommend Scott Frost not lose to this game to the Terps!

Oh….after 22 games as the Head Football Coach at Nebraska >

Scott Frost =  8 – 14

Mike Riley =  13 – 9

You think Scott Frost is in a Helluva Tough Spot with very few ways to get out of this corner?

You would be right!

Don’t lose to Maryland Scott!

3.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – The folks in Columbia, South Carolina can remain in all the Denial of Reality mode they want but there’s no getting around the FACT that Will Muschamp in his FOURTH season as the Head Football Coach at South Carolina is sitting on a record of 4 – 7 with only a game left against…

Clemson

…and without a Miracle From the Heavens that…

4 – 8

….record in Boom’s FOURTH season at South Carolina and if that’s acceptable to the folks in Columbia then More The Damn Power to Their Asses but please don’t tell us you were raised by Real Americans forget about Real Southerners who actually value Winning!

Oh…Will Muschamp’s records now in FOUR seasons at South Carolina >

Overall:  26 – 24

SEC:  15 – 17

Interesting are Will Muschamp’s records in FOUR seasons at Florida >

Overall: 28 – 21

SEC: 17 – 15

Hmmmm….anyone noticing a trend here?

Thought So!

4.  Joe Moorhead, Mississippi State – We are not quite sure what the folks at Mississippi State thought Joe Moorhead would do in Starkville record wise but we are guessing it’s not this with 2 games left in his 2nd season on the job >

Overall:  12 – 11

SEC:  6 – 9

The 4 – 6 Bulldogs are playing Uber-Cupcake Abilene Christian on November 23 and finish the season hosting Ole Miss in the Egg Bowl and will it take Moorhead beating Mississippi to hang onto his job?

Maybe so because imagine this scenario for a moment if Mississippi State did lose the Egg Bowl >

Moorhead would be sitting on a 5 – 7 record in his 2nd season right after a loss to Ole Miss which is sitting on record of….wait for it…4 – 7 right now!

There just ain’t no way to defend Joe Moorhead going 5 – 7 in his 2nd season on the job AND losing the Egg Bowl AND not going to a bowl game in this age of even the Damn Sorry and Average As Hell go to bowl games!

5.  Barry Odom, Missouri – Barry Odom is working on his 4th season as the Head Coach at Missouri and he is sitting on records of…

Overall:  24 – 24

SEC:  12 – 18

…which Ain’t That Good and with Mizzou now at 5 – 5 with games left against…

Tennessee
At Arkansas

….if Odom lost these last two games we have to think that would be the end of the Odom era at Missouri…..right?

Yep!

6.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Derek Mason is in his 6th season at Vanderbilt and has records on the board of…

Overall:  26 – 46

SEC:  10 – 37

…and that is 10 SEC Conference wins in 6 season….Not So Damn Good!

Even worse is Mason’s record of 2 – 8 in his 6th season with games still left against…

East Tennessee State
At Tennessee

…which looks like 3 – 9 to us which will be….

The same record Derek Mason posted in his first season at Vanderbilt in 2014!

4 – 8 to 4 – 8 = No Damn Improvement At All!

7.  Tom Herman, Texas – We had high expectations for Tom Herman at Texas but heading towards the end of Year 3 Herman is sitting on records of…

Overall:  23 – 14

Big 12:  16 – 9

…..and we just didn’t see Herman with 4 losses on the board this season and thought at most the Longhorns have 2 losses heading into the last 2 games of the season…

At Baylor
Texas Tech

Baylor is going to be really motivated to win this game against Texas and Texas Tech has been in almost every game they have played this season so there’s a chance that a Terribly Disappointing season could turn into a Total Disaster of a Season for Tom Herman and already our 2 Texas-alum buddies who live in the Austin area are telling us…

“Herman is treading in some very dangerous waters.”

We recommend you find a way to beat Baylor and Texas Tech Tom or your will be coaching for your job and head coaching career in 2020 at Texas!

8.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – After Kevin Sumlin got fired at Texas A&M putting up Pretty Average Numbers in College Station with a boatload of money given to him on the way out the door there’s just no way we would have hired him at a place like Arizona where you need Head Coach that is…

Fired-Up and Will Fight Your Ass In Every Damn Game

….because with all that money will Sumlin be…

Fired-Up and Will Fight Your Ass In Every Damn Game?

Not in our opinion and thus in Sumlin’s 2nd year at Arizona he is now sitting on records of…

Overall:  9 – 13

Pac-12:  6 – 10

….with the 4 – 6 Wildcats still having games to play against…

Utah
At Arizona State

That looks like a 4 – 8 record to us and looking to 2020 is there anyone in Tucson that thinks that next season will be any better under Kevin Sumlin?

The 2020 Arizona Football schedule….

Hawaii
Portland State
At Texas Tech
Colorado
Oregon
Stanford
USC
At Oregon State
At UCLA
At Utah
At Washington
At Arizona State

We would be STUNNED if Arizona won even 6 games in 2020…in our humble opinion!

9.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – When one considers that Dana Holgorsen is sitting on a record of…

3 – 7

….in his first year at Houston let’s consider for a moment that the Powers That Be at the University of Houston including Tilman Fertitta who has his hands in everything when it comes to Houston Football and Basketball let’s look at the records of the last Houston Head Football Coach Major Applewhite who got his ass run out of Houston by those Powers That Be >

2017:  7 – 5
2018:  8 – 5

Overall:  15 – 11

AAC:  10 – 6

Now if the above records were not good enough to keep your rear-end employed at Houston then what exactly is…

3 – 7

…doing for your ass?

Anyone know where Tilman Fertitta is at and what he thinks about Holgo sitting on a record of 3 – 7 with still games to played against…

At Tulsa
Navy?

Oh…no one has seen Get Us Some More Rolls Boy?

Didn’t think so but then when things going good Get Us Some Rolls Boy ass is plastered Anywhere and Everywhere in the media and beyond but his ass is nowhere to be seen now which is…

No Damn Surprise to anyone with 2+ IQ!

10.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – The word on the street on The Plains before the 2019 season started was that if Gus Malzahn lost the 4 games to…

LSU
Florida
Georgia
Alabama

…he would be done at Auburn and with losses to those first three teams on the board it really is now only a win over Alabama that can stop from the Gus Malzahn era from being brought to an end so with games left against..

Samford
Alabama

…both at Jordan-Hare Stadium what is the appropriate Game Theory approach for Gus Malzahn as he head towards the critical game against Bama?

If we were Gus Malzahn we probably would not take the Arkansas job even if offered but rather just let Auburn fire him and then see what other jobs might be open between now and the end of the year and if one of those jobs looked like a place you can win at….then maybe take it….but if not we would probably just take the $25 or so million that Auburn owes us and go relax and do some traveling the world for a year and then come back to coaching at the end of 2020 Relaxed, Refreshed, and Ready To Go!

“Change Is The Law of Life” and the 8-Team College Football Playoff – Thank You Johnny Cash! – Post 2018 Regular Season Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

With the bowl season now underway and the 21 FBS Head Coaching Jobs that opened all filled we can take a look at the Post 2018 College Football Regular Season Top 10 Coaches on the Hot Seat.

We have a lot of opinions on the 21 FBS Head Coaches hired in this cycle which we believe to be….

The Worst Group of Head Coaching Hires

….in our lifetime of watching college football which goes back 40+ years to the 1970s and here at Coaches Hot Seat now encompasses the last 12 seasons since we cranked this website up in January 2007.

Before we get to those Top 10 Hot Seat Coaches we first must say that it really is too bad the Damn Fools running college football which is primarily….

The Power 5 Conference Commissioners + the Notre Dame AD

…are willing to shutdown the top teams in college football each year for 30+ days when this past Saturday – December 15 sports fans in America…think the 75%+ of the Americans that do not now watch the sport….could have watched what would be the…

Biggest Day in Sports in America Each and Every Year

….if college football had an 8-Team College Football Playoff which in 2018 would have produced the below 4 On-Campus College Football Games if the sport had the following qualifying for the CFB Postseason:

Keep the College Football Season just as it is right now including keeping all the Conference Championship Games just adding 1 Quarterfinal Round of 4 On-Campus Games on a Saturday in the middle of December

5 Power Five Conference Champs IF LESS than 3 losses (if Power Five Conference Champ has 3+ losses they will have to be selected as a Wild Card for the 8-Team Playoff)

2 Wild Card Teams (More if there is a Power Five Conference Champ with 3+ losses which may or may not be selected as a Wild Card)

1 Group of Five Conference Team IF in the Top 12 of Final Rankings

Losers of Quarterfinal Games then slotted into NYE 6 Bowl Games or other bowls if appropriate around the first of January

Here are those 4 College Football On-Campus Games for 2018 which would create the Biggest Day in Sports in America Each and Every Year which this year would have been played on Saturday – December 15:

UCF at Alabama

Washington at Clemson

Ohio State at Notre Dame

Georgia at Oklahoma

For now at least the Damn Fools still have the wheel of FBS College Football but not forever because the Meaningless Bowl Exhibition Games will not forever define and even control FBS College Football….No….that will not exist forever and the National Champion of FBS will be settled on the field of play without ceding all of December to the NFL and that will be a glorious day and it will be a True Blue American Day because in America…Real Americans settle Championships on the field!

On a more serious note the website The Athletic has written a serious of stories in the last few weeks about a growing movement within collegiate athletics to an 8-Team College Football Playoff with some of the 5 Power Five Conference Commissioners leaning towards 8 Teams and some holding onto the current 4-Team set-up because for now….it benefits them which is incredibly short-sighted and brings to mind the vision of the Late Great Mike Slive who headed-up the SEC as Commissioner for years and saw that the 4-Team Playoff….much like the 8-Team…would benefit not only college football as a whole but the SEC as well and which Mike pushed until the College Football Playoff was a reality. Beyond Mike Slive having great vision and looking ahead while not constantly worried about now but instead focusing on the future where America is always unfolding into to Mike was a Helluva guy who is terribly missed in college athletics.

In the last year of his life on Earth President John F. Kennedy in 1963 traveled to Europe and delivered one of the great speeches of his Presidency at the Assembly Hall in Frankfurt, Germany which is often overlooked because there are so many other speeches Kennedy made that evoked themes that have come to define what America has become in the Post World War II period. We often quote a line from this Kennedy speech in Germany to our friends, co-workers and anyone else that will listen to us on “Change” that is in our opinion the very definition of what has made America so great today:

“But Goethe tell us in his greatest poem that Faust lost the liberty of his soul when he said to the passing moment: “Stay, thou art so fair.” And our liberty, too, is endangered if we pause for the passing moment, if we rest on our achievements, if we resist the pace of progress. For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

Mike Slive was born in 1940 around the same time as many of our Dads and lived through World War II and saw America become the world’s lone superpower not by looking to the past or trying to hold onto the present, but by doing what Americans have always done, by looking forward into the future. If college football is going to achieve its full potential in the life of America it needs to bring everyone in the country along so that like every other NCAA sport the Champions and Top Teams around the country that have earned the right to earn a National Championship on the field of play have that opportunity in the Postseason and that’s just what an 8-Team Playoff would do for college football.

The opportunity to make college football everything it can be in is in the hands of people that often live in the past, that look to a time that is gone and never coming back, instead of looking to the future and embracing change because after all Kennedy was right and every Real American knows it:

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

Let’s get to Top 10 Hot Seat Coaches as of middle of December 2018 with no doubt some changes coming as the bowl season unfolds and with that let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post 2018 College Football Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Clay Helton, USC – The most disturbing thing about the USC football team this past year is how little the Trojans looked like the Trojans under Pete Carroll who were surging in all areas heading into Year 3 when this Trojans team under Helton looked towards the end of the 2018 season….

Undisciplined
Not In Great Shape
Confused
Out-of-Control
Almost Un-Coached at Times

….and we cannot help but wonder how USC could be getting worse under Helton the longer his tenure at the school?

Clay Helton took over the USC football program during the 2015 season from Steve Sarkisian and if one looks at the Trojans recruiting the last few seasons under both Sarkisian and Helton according to 24/7 Sports USC by all rights should have had a team playing for a National Title this season:

USC 24/7 Team Recruiting Rankings

2014 – #10
2015 – #2
2016 – #10
2017 – #4
2018 – #4

Average #6 Recruiting Class the last 5 seasons!

And yet in 2018 USC played 7 FBS teams with .500+ records and their record in those 7 games was:

1 – 6

Oh….USC also lost to a 3 – 9 UCLA team!

Consider this for a moment…USC over the past 5 seasons averaged recruiting the….

#6 Recruiting Class in America

….and the Trojans went 1 – 7 against .500+ FBS teams + the loss to UCLA in 2018!

That is nothing short of STUNNING!

This is USC Football Dammit which we have been watching both in person and on TV since the mid-1970s and we are not going to tolerate this Embarrassing Horseshit nor should USC fans and alumni!

Looking ahead to the 2019 season we haven’t a Damn Clue why Clay Helton hired Kliff Kingsbury as his offensive coordinator when Kingsbury proved he is a…

College Football Program Killer

…at Texas Tech where Kingsbury Totally Damn Failed winning an average of….

5.83 wins a season

…where Bozo the Clown could win 6 games a season!

In our opinion USC does not have the defensive depth to handle the pressure that will put on it by the offense that Kingsbury runs which wears out and eventually destroys the defenses on the teams he coaches and with that in mind let’s look at USC’s 2019 schedule:

Fresno State
Stanford
At BYU
Utah
At Washington
At Notre Dame
Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
At Arizona State
At California
UCLA

Whatever the Hell Clay Helton has planned for 2019 it better Damn be good because there’s a decent chance the Trojans start 0 – 6 or 1 – 5 and if that happens USC will have an interim coach when Arizona comes to the LA Coliseum on October 19.

Oh…USC’s 24/7 Team Recruiting Ranking as of right now….and remember we are talking about USC Football now….is…

#28

Personally….we are pulling for Clay Helton to turn this thing around at USC but honestly we don’t think he has it in him to be the head coach at a place like USC. Some people can handle jobs like Alabama, Texas, Ohio State, Florida State…and USC…and some can’t. Let’s see if Clay can and….

Great Luck Clay!

2.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – To understand the Total Disaster that has been Chris Ash’s time as head coach at Rutgers where he has posted records of…

Overall:  7 – 29
Big Ten:  3 – 24

….you have to understand that in the two seasons that the previous Rutgers head coach, Kyle Flood, led the team the Scarlet Knights in the Big Ten Conference the Knights won…

12 Games

….that’s in 2 seasons….and in 3 seasons Chris Ash has won…

7 Games!

Oh….in Chris Ash’s THIRD season on the job his Rutgers football team put up a record of…

1 – 11!

For some reason the words of former Athletic Director at Florida Jeremy Foley are ringing in our ears right now…

“Anything that will have to be done eventually….should be done immediately!”

Eventually Chris Ash will be fired at Rutgers and he should have been fired after this season….in our humble opinion.

Let’s look at Rutgers 2019 schedule:

UMass
At Iowa
Boston College
At Michigan
Maryland
At Indiana
Minnesota
Liberty
At Illinois
Ohio State
Michigan State
At Penn State

That looks like between 1 and 3 wins to us for Rutgers in 2019 and the reality is we here at Coaches Hot Seat may care more about Rutgers football than the people running Rutgers Athletics because for Damn sure we would not tolerate this kind of losing….not for a Damn second!

3.  Randy Edsall, UConn – After the Total Disaster that was Bob Diaco as the head coach at UConn for 3 seasons when Diaco posted records of….

Overall:  11 – 26
AAC:  6 – 18

….we haven’t a Damn Clue why UConn brought back Randy Edsall after he left out the back door not even saying goodbye to his players at UConn to take the Maryland job but Edsall was brought back and the last 2 seasons he has posted records of….

Overall:  4 – 20
AAC:  2 – 14

….and still we cannot understand…

Why was Randy Edsall hired at UConn?

There’s no good answer to that question and when you look at UConn’s 2019 schedule one can see only more Total Disaster ahead!

Wagner
Illinois
At Indiana
At UMass
At Cincinnati
At Temple
At Tulane
At UCF
East Carolina
Houston
Navy
USF

That looks like THREE wins max to us and if UConn only wins 3 games in 2019 one has to assume the Huskies will have a new head football coach a year from today….right?

4.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Much like Randy Edsall as UConn we haven’t a Damn Clue why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois who in 3 seasons on the job has posted records of…

Overall:  9 – 27
Big Ten:  4 – 23

….and remember now…Lovie Smith took over a .500 football program at Illinois and has turned it into…

A Complete Freaking Disaster!

Consider this STUNNING Number for a moment…

Illinois has played 22 FBS teams under Lovie Smith with .500+ records and the Illini’s records in those games is…

1 – 21!

1 of Lovie Smith’s 9 wins at Illinois is against a FBS team with a .500 or better record and even more AMAZING the Illini have lost…

6 games to teams with sub-.500 records!

Oh….the Freaking Damn Moron who is the AD at Illinois…

Josh Whitman

…just gave Lovie Smith a 2-year contract extension at $5M a season!

Geez…there are so many Stupid People working in college athletics today that cannot see what is right in front of them or as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote and was said by Sherlock Holmes which sums up a lot of college football administration today:

“There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”
Sherlock Holmes, The Boscombe Valley Mystery

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – There are so many people with their hands in the pot at Auburn it’s always hard to know what’s going on across The Plains but over a decade ago we were in Auburn for a football game and a well-known Auburn alum told us over lunch at a diner in Opelika, Alabama (next door to Auburn) that (paraphrased since so long ago but this Auburn alum is still around and he would say the same thing today!)….

“What mainly drives Auburn is what’s happening at Alabama and if Alabama is doing well then that just puts that much more pressure on the head coach at Auburn. Also there are a lot of politics at Auburn that a head coach, athletic director and president at Auburn University need to understand is something that can be managed…for awhile at least…but that eventually the politics will get them unless they have the power to ignore what the folks with the money want which is not really possible.”

Translation for what’s going on at Auburn in 2018: Alabama is rolling under Nick Saban and has been for a decade now and unless the Auburn head coach is able to keep up with Bama he is going to be under pressure and make no mistake about it…

Gus Malzahn needs to win 10+ games in 2019 to be the head coach of the Auburn Tigers one year from today!

In our opinion it was a BIG mistake for Gus Malzahn to not take the Arkansas job which is not only home for Gus but it would have gotten Gus away from the pressure of coaching at Auburn when Nick Saban is across the state coaching Alabama and it would have gotten Gus to a place where 7 to 8 wins a season would have kept him off the Hot Seat.

This is Auburn Football which we have been watching play on TV and in person for 40+ years now and with the resources at Auburn there’s no reason for the school to be so far behind Alabama even if Nick Saban is in T-Town.

Consider Gus Malzahn and Nick Saban’s overall records in the last 6 seasons which is how long Gus has been at Auburn:

Last 6 Seasons

Gus Malzahn: 52 – 27

Nick Saban: 77 – 7

Also consider this….Gus Malzahn has been the head coach at Auburn for 6 seasons and he has lost…

4+ games in 5 of those 6 seasons
5+ games in 4 of those 6 seasons

Oh…Gus Malzahn is making $7 Million Dollars A Year…..losing 5 games in 2018 and in 2018 the Tigers played 8 FBS teams with .500+ records and Auburn’s record in those games was:

4 – 4

For someone being paid $7 Million Dollars A Year!

Auburn plays Purdue on Friday December 28 in the Music City Bowl and that is a Purdue team that finished the season at 6 – 6 even if they did beat Ohio State and we have some news for Gus Malzahn….

Lose to Purdue and you will replace Clay Helton on the Hottest Seat in America going into the 2019 season in the #1 Hot Seat Slot!

The good news for Gus Malzahn is that word from our Arkansas-alum buddy in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who we have known for decades and who has known Gus for decades and likes the guy told us recently….

“If Gus can win at least 7 games at Auburn next year and our coach (Chad Morris) has another disaster of a season Gus must might be able to come home to Arkansas after all.”

Let’s look at Auburn’s 2019 schedule:

Oregon (Dallas)
Tulane
Kent State
At Texas A&M
Mississippi State
At Florida
At Arkansas
At LSU
Ole Miss
Georgia
Samford
Alabama

That looks like another 7 – 5 to us for Auburn in 2019 and if that happens Gus Malzahn will not be the head coach at Auburn a year from today….Hell…anything less than 10 wins and Gus will be gone…but maybe Gus will be the head coach at Arkansas a year from today….which is very doable in our opinion.

More on Chad Morris in a moment.

6.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – The Late Great Johnny Carson who took over the Tonight Show from Jack Paar in 1962 when he was only 37 years old had a saying about being ready in life when your chance on the big stage came along….

“Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: “Are your ready?”

…and let’s just face FACTS here….

Willie Taggart was NOT ready to take over or handle the Florida State job and it showed on the field in 2018 with the Seminoles finishing with a record of 5 – 7 but even worse in the 10 games it played against FBS teams with .500+ records FSU’s record was…

3 – 7

This is Florida State Football and when we say that it means…

This is the Florida State Football program that Bobby Bowden built and Jimbo Fisher revived and that Willie Taggart will either get back on track in 2019 or FSU will have a new head football coach a year from today…PERIOD!

An FSU-alum who a couple of us first met when we were serving in the US Navy in Jacksonville, Florida in the late 1980s and who took us to several FSU football games in Tallahassee called us in August after a business trip to Tallahassee where he checked in on what was going on in Fall Camp for FSU football and he says:

“It’s just all fluff. There is no football being coached or practiced at FSU and I would be stunned if they win 6 games this season.”

Our buddy in Jacksonville was right and it’s going to be very interesting to see how Willie Taggart responds which is a guy we first ran across when he was on Jim Harbaugh’s staff at Stanford and frankly we like Willie but come now…

We are not going to tolerate Mediocre or Worse Football at Florida State and that’s why Willie is going to need 8+ wins in 2019 or he will be gone and it doesn’t get any clearer than that!

Let’s look at Florida State’s 2019 schedule:

Boise State (Jacksonville)
La. Monroe
At Boston College
At Clemson
Louisville
Miami
NC State
Syracuse
At Virginia
At Wake Forest
Alabama State
At Florida

We would be stunned if FSU won more than 7 games in 2019 and if that’s the case….one of the best jobs in college football will come open in late November 2019!

7.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – No one needs to tell us what BYU Football was in the past and still can be today and certainly the 3 year run of Kalani Sitake as the head coach of BYU producing this record…

19 – 19

…is not the BYU Football we grew up nor the BYU Football we are going to accept!

No one at Coaches Hot Seat is a Mormon, but we do have plenty of Mormon friends in Utah and around America and if you have Mormons as friends you know they don’t tend to complain much but we can tell you they are not happy with the current state of their football program at BYU and either Kalaini Sitake is going to get things fixed in Provo or BYU will be forced to find another head coach that can get it done.

Let’s look at BYU’s 2019 schedule:

Utah
At Tennessee
USC
Washington
At Toledo
At South Florida
Boise State
At Utah State
Liberty
Idaho State
At UMass
At San Diego State

Geez….that’s a pretty tough schedule and we gotta think Sitake is going to need 8+ wins in 2019 to keep his job and 8+ wins with that schedule would be pretty impressive!

8.  Chad Morris, Arkansas – It’s hard to know just how bad the Arkansas Football program was when Bret Bielema left but a friend of ours that works on the academic side of the University of Arkansas sent us a note after Bielema was fired and before Morris was hired that said…

“Maybe the next coach won’t allow the football team to be such sloppy pigs. I know we are the Razorbacks but it was just f-ing ridiculous how undisciplined Arkansas was under Bielema!”

Certainly Bret Bielema’s records at Arkansas over 5 seasons of…

Overall:  29 – 34

SEC:  11 – 29

…were bad enough to get both Bielema and former AD Jeff Long fired but could it have been so bad in Fayetteville that it was the poor Leadership and Coaching of Bielema that led to new head coach Chad Morris posting a record of….

2 – 10

….in his first season on the job at Arkansas?

Maybe…or maybe Chad Morris is just an Average Coach who is now sitting on an overall record of…

16 – 32

….in 4 seasons at SMU and Arkansas and from what we saw of the Razorbacks in 2018 which was a good bit….

We didn’t see a Helluva lot!

As mentioned above Gus Malzahn might just become available at the end of the next football season to return to Arkansas if Chad Morris cannot get things rolling and with that in mind let’s look at the 2019 schedule for the Razorbacks:

Portland State
At Ole Miss
Colorado State
San Jose State
Texas A&M
At Kentucky
Auburn
At Alabama
Mississippi State
Western Kentucky
At LSU
Missouri

With 4 Cupcakes on the Arkansas 2019 schedule which is just how folks in SEC Country love their competition = Easy As Hell and Cupcakes Galore…we don’t see why Arkansas doesn’t win at least 6 games in 2019 and if the Hogs don’t win at least 6 games in 2019 Ole Chad Morris is going to find his rear-end on fire because after all….

This Is Arkansas Football!

9.  Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – Virginia Tech was able to get Marshall on their schedule for a make-up game because of the washout of a game earlier this year because of a hurricane to get to 6 – 6 on the season but come now…

The Hokies played 8 FBS Teams in 2018 with .500+ records and their record in those games was….

3 – 5

…and in case some of the folks haven’t been paying attention out there and didn’t get to see Virginia Tech play this season…

Something stinks in Blacksburg and it stinks bad!

We know what Justin Fuente is capable of doing which is a lot but in our opinion he is no more leading the Virginia Tech football program or is capable of leading the Virginia Tech football program right now than the Pillsbury Dough Boy which may mean he is being distracted by something….maybe something personal….or he just forgot how to Lead and to Coach but something’s wrong with the Hokies football program and in our opinion the problem goes deep….very deep!

With Justin Fuente now having lost…

4+ games in ALL 3 of his seasons at Virginia Tech

….and sitting on records of…

Overall:  25 – 14

ACC:  15 – 9

…2019 will be a critical year for Fuente where either the Hokies will continue their downward trend after winning 10 games in 2016 or they will recover and become a power again in the ACC and with that in mind let’s look at Va. Tech’s 2019 schedule:

Furman
Old Dominion
At East Carolina
At Notre Dame
At Boston College
At Georgia Tech
At Miami
At Virginia
Duke
North Carolina
Pitt
Wake Forest

That looks like 7 – 5 to us unless the Hokies get some problems fixed in the offseason and at a place like Virginia Tech going 7 – 5 in your FOURTH year on the job….

Will get your ass fired!

10.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – All of Mike Gundy’s having his name out there for every decent job opening in FBS football the last few seasons came home to roost in 2018 with Oklahoma State being very lucky to finish at 6 – 6 and a Damn Pitiful 3 – 6 in Big 12 Conference play and against FBS teams with .500+ records the Cowboys were….

3 – 5

Yes…Oklahoma State was Damn Lucky to win 6 games in 2018 and one has to wonder if Gundy has lost it with all the rattlesnake rodeo and other Meaingless Horseshit that has nothing to do with winning football games at OSU or maybe there’s something else going on but just our opinion having watched a lot of the Cowboys games in 2018…

Gundy doesn’t look very interested in our humble opinion

…on the sidelines and when the Head Coach is tuned out guess what…

The Coaching Staff and Whole Damn Team tunes out!

Luckily there is something that can focus the mind for Mike Gundy and that is getting his ass fired at his alma mater next season which another 6 or even 7 win season would do and with that in mind let’s look at Oklahoma State’s 2019 schedule:

At Oregon State
McNeese
At Tulsa
At Texas
Kansas State
At Texas Tech
Baylor
At Iowa State
TCU
Kansas
At West Virginia
Oklahoma

Anyone else get the feeling that Mike Gundy will be coaching for his job and career as a head coach when the Cowboys travel to Norman to play Oklahoma on November 30, 2019?

Thought so!

Hey Gundy!

That Tulsa job probably open up next season so you could just slide over to Tulsa from Stillwater so all might not be lost Son!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Laziest Ass College Head Coaches!

Time is getting short for several of these Hot Seat Coaches so let’s get right to it and bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give it straight to these coaches with the bark on!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  David Beaty, Kansas – We are not really sure what is going on at Kansas…

David Beaty still firing away, Tom Keegan, Lawrence World-Journal

…but head coach David Beaty did fire his OC Doug Meacham last week which is like tossing your Executive Officer overboard on US Navy ship as you head towards a reef so you can make sure you hit the reef in the just the right way but come now….in 4 seasons at Kansas Beaty is sitting on records of…

Overall:  5 – 37

Big 12:  1 – 29

…and the Jayhawks still have to play in 2018 games against…

At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

….and we don’t see KU winning any of those games so everyone knows where this is going and as John Wayne said playing character Davey Crockett in the movie The Alamo…

“I always counted on dying, it’s just the where and the when I’m not sure of right now!”

It’s down the Where and the When…just like with Davey Crockett at The Alamo!

2.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – Ole Steve Politi wrote after the Rutgers loss to Maryland on Saturday…

Rutgers has become Blowout U under Chris Ash, Steve Politi, Star-Ledger

….things are really a Damn mess at Rutgers and Chris Ash in 3 years on the job is sitting on records of…

Overall:  7 – 24

Big Ten:  3 – 20

….with still games to be played against in 2018….

Northwestern
At Wisconsin
Michigan
Penn State
At Michigan State

Rutgers is not winning another game in 2018 and when you are a head football coach and in your…

31 st game at a school

…as Chris Ash was coaching on Saturday against Maryland and your team…

Gets Its Ass-Whipped All Over The Damn Field

…and has been…

Getting Its Ass-Whipped All Over the Damn Field All Damn Season

….it matters little that you have a….

$10.35 Million Dollar buyout on December 1, 2018

…because your ass MUST BE BOUGHT OUT….unless of course the people running Rutgers Athletics needs to have their asses fired and run out of town!

3.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – What we saw on Saturday in the Tennessee – Auburn game wasn’t just an…

Inferior Football Team in Tennessee by 2 or 3 times that beat Auburn on its homefield

….but watching a replay of the game we saw….

Auburn Football Players QUITTING

…which makes sense because we wrote in this blog last week that…

Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team!

Now…when we say that Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team we are saying that because we believe there is a reason why Malzahn has QUIT and that reason…in our humble opinion is…

Gus Malzahn in a Petty, Selfish, and in a Big Ego kind of way has created a toxic place for his assistant coaches to work and that has now seeped down to the Auburn players and unless someone owns up….make that Gus Malzahn accepts direct responsibility for his Pitiful Pettiness, Selfishness, and Massive Ego…and apologizes for acting like a Spoiled Pompous Arrogant Ass to his coaches and players…NOTHING is going to change at Auburn and the now…

4 – 3 Tigers

…will be lucky to win another game….YES lucky to even beat Liberty at home in November since Liberty just beat Troy….this season with these games left:

At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

Maybe Gus Malzahn is hoping that Auburn doesn’t win another game and that he will get his ass run off The Plains with $32 million dollars in early December but….we have it on good authority that if Auburn collapses down the stretch and it’s obvious as Hell that Gus Malzahn has Totally Damn QUIT on his football team that Malzahn will have go into court to get that $32M or take a lot less if Auburn runs his ass out of town because when you Flat-Out QUIT your ass is not fulfilling the obligations inherent in being the…

Head Football Coach of the Auburn Tigers!

What is probably coming for Gus Malzahn and the Auburn football team?

Trouble….we see lots of trouble ahead with potentially the President at Auburn getting fired followed by Gus Malzahn getting fired and anyone else that signed-off on the Idiocy of giving someone a 7 year $49 million fully guaranteed contract getting their asses out of Auburn….that’s the trouble that is coming plus a few other items as well if this does indeed implode that will make the insanity around Terry Bowden getting run from Auburn almost 3 decades ago look sane by comparison!

4.  Randy Edsall, Connecticut – During this past Summer when about a dozen Coaches Hot Seat members were on our 2018 See America RV Tour which included visits to 30 US states we drove from Gettysburg Battlefield in Pennsylvania to the Hartford area to spend the night before heading into Boston the next day. We went to Hartford because we wanted to meet with a UConn alum + booster of ours to talk to him about Randy Edsall and he met us at a great barbecue restaurant near the Hartford airport called the Bear’s Smokehouse.

We cannot recommend Bear’s Smokehouse – The Official BBQ of the UConn Huskies by the way – enough to folks love barbecue, and on that night when we asked our UConn alum + booster buddy about Edsall his response was a Sigh and then…

“It’s a Damn Mess and has been for awhile. (meaning UConn football.) In my opinion anything less than 6 wins this season and Randy is gone, but who would we hire?”

Our UConn alum + booster passed along a few other tidbits about UConn football we will not post in this spot for various reasons, but if Randy Edsall does need to win 6 games in 2018 then the 1 – 5 Huskies with only a win over FCS Rhode Island and still to play these games…

At South Florida
UMass
At Tulsa
SMU
At East Carolina
Temple

….better Damn get busy but come now…is there anyone on Earth thinks UConn will win more than one more game the rest of this season?

Didn’t think so!

We happen to know 3 or 4 coaches we think could turn around and win at UConn in a short amount of time which we passed along to our UConn alum + booster and let’s hope he has passed those names along to the folks at UConn because it looks like 2018 is going to be nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster for the Huskies!

5.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – By all rights North Carolina should have beaten Virginia Tech on Saturday before losing 22 – 19 to the Hokies at home and with that loss Larry Fedora is…

5 – 16

….in his last 21 games at UNC and things don’t get any easier with these games left in 2018…

At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

We would guess that UNC maybe wins 2 more games to finish at…

3 – 9

…for the second straight season and Larry Fedora’s buyout on December 1, 2018….

$12.2 Million Dollars!

Now that is Freaking Hilarious because we would not give a contract like that to Nick Saban but then we don’t work in the Total Damn Freaking Fantasyland that is a college campus where ADs make contracts with coaches with…

Other People’s Money

…so what the Hell do they care if they create Totally Damn Stupid contracts?

Hint: They don’t care at all!

Thus why there are so many asinine contracts in college football and also because Athletic Directors and Presidents are…

So Damn Easy To Roll!

6.  Brent Brennan, San Jose State – In Brent Brennan’s 19 th game as the head football coach at San Jose State his team got beat by Army….at home mind you…by the score of…

52 – 3

…which leaves Brennan’s records at…

Overall:  2 – 17

MWC:  1 – 10

Oh…San Jose State now at 0 – 6 on the season still has to play in 2018 games against…

At San Diego State
UNLV
At Wyoming
At Utah State
Nevada
At Fresno State

That looks like at best…a record of….

1 – 11

…for San Jose State in Brennan’s second year on the job and that is not something we would tolerate if we were the AD at SJSU but then come now…if we were the AD at SJSU we would be interested in actually…

Finding a Head Football Coach that could Win Some Football Games

…not looking for a coach that checks off a few boxes and gets recommendations from a few people….many of them out of the game of football because they also got their asses run out of jobs!

That’s just us now and then you have ADs that Don’t Know Their Asses From the Side of a Barn when it comes to hiring football coaches…hiring fraud football coaches that have No Damn Idea how to lead a football program and to win football games on a regular basis across America!

7.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – Louisville lost to Boston College on Saturday by the score of…

38 – 20

…which drops the Cardinals record down to 2 – 5 on the year with games still to play against…

Wake Forest
At Clemson
At Syracuse
NC State
Kentucky

We don’t think Louisville will win another game this season and that Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats will DESTROY Louisville in the last game of the season which will be followed by Bobby Petrino being fired by the AD at Louisville.

That is all.

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Lovie Smith coached his 30 th football game at Illinois against Purdue and his team lost at home to a team with roughly the same amount of talent in Purdue by the score of…

46 – 7

…and what you saw on Saturday was…

Jeff Brohm – A College Head Coach That Has A Damn Clue

Lovie Smith – A College Head Coach That Has No Damn Clue

….and if you cannot figure out a way to not Get Your Damn Ass Whipped All Over The Damn Field in your 30 th game as a head coach going against a team with the same talent as you…

Your Ass Is NEVER Going To Figure It Out!

Lovie Smith is his third year coaching the Illini and his records now stand at…

Overall:  8 – 22

Big Ten:  3 – 18

…and Illinois still have games left against…

At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

We don’t see Illinois winning another game in 2018 but Lovie is being paid…

$5 Million Dollars A Year

…and has a buyout on December 1, 2018 of…

$12.6 Million Dollars!

Freaking Hilarious!

Josh Whitman is the AD at Illinois and not only was the hiring of Lovie Smith to coach a college football team…

Incredibly Asinine

..but to give a guy who had never been a college head football coach the above contract in our opinion means that…

Josh Whitman’s ass should be fired today

…but come now…we are talking about an AD here where being…

Stupid As Hell is actually a Freaking Job Requirement!

Anyone that tells you someone is smart because they are an attorney we note that Josh Whitman’s Wikipedia entry says he was graduated…

Summa Cum Laude from the Illinois School of Law!

Now that’s Freaking Hilarious because when Lovie Smith was hired by Illinois three years ago a friend of ours that has worked in the NFL for 30+ years said to us….

“This will turn out to be the Stupidest Hire in recent college football history!”

Close…but there’s a few even worse with Charlie Weis being hired by Kansas easily in our opinion the…

Worst Hire since the end of World War II in major college football

….but Lovie Smith being hired by Illinois might just be #2!

9.  Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – So let’s get this straight….

Paul Johnson had a long-term grudge against Louisville defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder so Johnson’s Georgia Tech team whips the Cardinals by a score of…

66 – 31

….but then that same team led by the same coach loses to Duke at home a week later by the score of…

28 – 14

Now what Damn sense does that make and why in the Hell was Paul Johnson not fired on the field after the Duke game?

We have several Georgia Tech alum friends been fed-up with Paul Johnson’s Horseshit for years now and being good engineers who work their asses off in their day jobs they don’t let that the Yellow Jackets look like Total Shit on the field really bother their daily lives but come now…

Over the past two seasons Georgia Tech’s combined record now stands at…

8 – 10

…and Tech still has to play in 2018 games against…

At Virginia Tech
At North Carolina
Miami
Virginia
At Georgia

What…Tech might win 2 more games in 2018 and finish with a second straight 5 win season in Paul Johnson’s 11 th year at the school where Johnson seems more interested in settling scores with other coaches than winning Games and Championships?

Exactly why we would have fired Paul Johnson on the field right after the Duke game on Saturday!

10.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – It’s not easy to find out what’s going on at schools around the country with their football programs on a day-to-day basis with the way coaches hide their football programs from most everyone, but we hear enough things from our contacts and by reading things in the media to form opinions and something we have been kicking around at Coaches Hot Seat for about a year is new Coaches Ranking called the…

Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches

…and in our opinion if we had to list the 10 Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches who in our opinion do a Helluva Lot less work than other coaches around the country the that list would start with…

1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn
2.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State

Why is it our opinion that Gus Malzahn and Mike Gundy are the 2 Laziest Ass College Football Head Coaches in America?

We don’t have to answer that question because…it’s our opinion as Americans and US Military Combat Vets and Mike “I Am A Man but a Lazy Ass Man In Our Opinion” Gundy can stuff that opinion…

Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine!

Even if Mike Gundy is Lazy As Hell….and in our opinion Ole Gundy is Lazy As Hell and has been for a couple of years now as he has shopped his ass around to any school with a job opening that might consider his ass…be lucky you didn’t hire him because Gundy is Lazy As Hell in our opinion….what has landed Gundy on the Hot Seat is the performance of his football team which after losing to a…

Pitiful Kansas State team on Saturday

…is now 4 – 3 on the season and things aren’t going to get any better because…

When Your Head Coach is Lazy As Hell

…and you still have to play games against…

Texas
At Baylor
At Oklahoma
West Virginia
At TCU

…there’s a decent chance the Cowboys don’t win another game this season and checking the USA Today Coaches Salaries list we see that Gundy’s buyout on December 1, 2018 is…

$16.25 Million Dollars

…and that might be a number that T. Boone Pickens would be wise to write a check for since Ole Boone is 90 years old and if he wants to see Okie State win a national title that’s not something he will see with a..

Lazy Ass Head Coach in Stillwater!

Memo to T. Boone Pickens:  Boone, we know a Helluva Head Football Coach that would love to have the Oklahoma State job and in addition to not being Lazy As Hell like Mike Gundy he could win in 2019 so you might want to get that checkbook out and make it out to…

Mike Gundy

…for $16.25 Million Dollars and on the comments line just write in:

To fire the 2 nd Damn Laziest Coach in College Football!

In our humble opinion of course!

You want the name of that coach Boone just give us a call…you should have our number!

2018 Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Let’s Bring Out The Great Johnny Cash To Give These Hot Seat coaches Hell! – Thank You Johnny!

The Week 3 College Football Games are done and watching college football in person at UC Davis – Stanford game and then watching a Helluva lot of college football on television on Saturday it’s hard to imagine how the game could be better and let’s hope that it keeps going like this for a long time into the future.

The game of football in America is facing a lot of issues that will have to be dealt with for the game to navigate its way forward, and one of the things that needs to be done is move the current FBS 4-Team College Football Playoff to 8-Teams with 5 Power Five Conference Champs (If 3 losses or less) + 3 Wildcard teams but more on that as the season moves along because worrying about the Postseason Playoff takes away from the games being played right now!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1. Urban Meyer, Ohio State – We watched the interview that ESPN’s Tom Rinaldi did with Urban Meyer that aired on Sunday and it’s an interesting interview with a lot going on beyond what Meyer said…which wasn’t much….but to guess on what Meyer was thinking would be speculative and we are all about speculation and opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat!

In our humble opinion Urban Meyer sees both of the Smiths complicit in the failure of their marriage which flows from how Meyer was raised in that there are issues in all marriages but that two mature adults…especially ones with children…should be able to work things out and for lots of reasons the Smith marriage just imploded which probably seems unthinkable to Meyer.

There’s an old saying attributed to Lou Holtz that….

“If he’s got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don’t hire him.”

…with the implication being that a good assistant football coach isn’t planning on playing lots of golf when working for Holtz. What is also implicit in the above statement is that Lou Holtz was interested in the personal lives of his coaches as it pertains to their ability to do their job, and when something is going wrong with someone’s personal life that will of course impact that person’s work as well. In our opinion there’s not a chance in Hell that Urban Meyer wasn’t aware that Smith was having lots of problems with his marriage and that Smith was doing all kinds of Crazy Shit in his personal life, and anyone that has been around a football team knows…

Everyone knows…especially the coaches….what’s going on with everyone if it falls outside what would be considered “normal”

…and for whatever reason Meyer kept Smith around with Meyer now admitting he should have fired the troubled Smith long ago which is incredibly obvious to anyone that can read the recent reports on this issue.

If we were a head football coach in college we would realize that is a very public position and that the coaches on our staff were also in very public positions and with what’s happened at Ohio State in mind we would talk to each our coaches and support staff and tell them straight-up:

“If something is going on in your personal life that is a problem…I am talking about a serious problem and not just normal personal or marriage issues…I want to know about it because you are representing this university and you are working for me and I don’t want to be surprised by something down the road. I can help you a lot with issues, even personal issues, but I cannot help you if you don’t tell me about it so keep that in mind.”

Will see what if anything else comes out on this Smith issue at Ohio State, and if something else does come out we would not be surprised, but for now it seems it has quieted down which is of course the same thing that happened with the Tressel issue. We shall see.

Interestingly Ohio State has looked like a team that can beat anyone in the country including Alabama in its first three games of the season and it will be fascinating to see how the Buckeyes play under Meyer in the coming weeks with OSU having left:

Tulane
At Penn State
Indiana
Minnesota
At Purdue
Nebraska
At Michigan State
At Maryland
Michigan

Our guess the Buckeyes lose 2 of their remaining 9 games which would be a Major Disappointment and lead to a lot of folks asking a lot of questions to why in the Hell a team with enough talent to beat anyone in the country ended up with 2 losses in the regular season!

2.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – It was probably a Godsend that North Carolina didn’t play UCF at home on Saturday because of Hurricane Florence since UCF would have probably blasted the falling to pieces Tar Heels who are 0 – 2 and still have games left against…

Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

Our guess UNC wins 3 of their last 9 games to finish at….

3 – 9

…in 2018 which will open up the North Carolina job which is a Good but not Great job in college football but certainly a job we would walk from San Francisco to Chapel Hill to take if they offered it to anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat!

3.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – The first time any of us ran into Willie Taggart was in 2007 when he came to Stanford to coach running backs for Jim Harbaugh on The Farm and we can be honest here and say we are biased FOR Willie Taggart but for Damn sure we are not going to tolerate Willie or ANY other coach blowing up a college football program…especially one like Florida State….just because we like the guy!

We really don’t have a clue how good of a Head Football Coach that Willie Taggart is since he spent so little time at his previous HC stops at Western Kentucky, South Florida, and Oregon before taking over at FSU but we can tell you what we have been told by our friends in Florida who have been around Florida State football going back to the 1970s which is before Bobby Bowden arrived in Tallahassee in 1976 some very interesting and some very troubling things.

Back in August a Florida State-alum buddy of ours who has had season tickets to FSU games since the 1970s and who we have known since the late 1980s hinted in some conversations that he was hearing that….

“There is no football being practiced at Florida State. It’s just a lot of PR fluff.”

That is the phrase he used back in August for what Willie Taggart and his coaching staff were doing at FSU practices…

“It’s just a lot of PR fluff.”

After seeing FSU play against Virginia Tech, Samford, and Syracuse we don’t need someone watching FSU practice to know what is going on in Tallahassee because it’s as Plain As Damn Day and that is….

Willie Taggart and his Assistant Coaches are NOT coaching football at Florida State!

…but rather it’s just a lot “making sure the players are happy” and guess what Willie….

You have a football team that has already QUIT on you Son!

…and if you don’t start Coaching The Game of Football with your FSU football team TODAY….meaning Monday….then there’s a good chance you will not be the head coach at Florida State in 2019 and if you get run from this job after one year you will have a tough time getting a high school head coaching job in the future!

We have been told by that same FSU-alum buddy of ours that a significant portion of the $30M or so that it would take to buyout Willie Taggart and everyone that Willie has hired has already been raised and that if Florida State keeps playing the way they did against Syracuse…

Where the Florida State Football Team QUIT

….Willie Taggart will be fired shortly after the Florida game on November 24!

YES….it’s that bad Willie and your better Damn start coaching your football team especially with what you have left to play…

Northern Illinois
At Louisville
At Miami
Wake Forest
Clemson
At NC State
At Notre Dame
Boston College
Florida

If FSU plays the rest of the season the way they played against Syracuse…

They will not win another football game and finish the season at 1 – 11 and Willie Taggart and his entire coaching staff WILL BE FIRED in late November!

Northern Illinois comes to Tallahassee on Saturday with a pretty good football team that would love to beat FSU whether the Seminoles are any good or not and if FSU loses this game there will not be more than 20,000 people at any home FSU game the rest of the year so YES you could say there is a Helluva Lot riding on Saturday’s game and most of all what we would like to see is a…

FSU Football Team that actually shows up and plays like men instead of the Candy Ass Cowards and Quitters that Willie Taggart has been running out on the field in the first three games of the season!

Lastly we will leave Willie Taggart with a comment from an ACC assistant coach we talked to on Sunday and passing along this comment, even if we don’t identify the assistant, will probably end us talking to that coach but we think it’s important enough of a comment to relay in this spot, and the comment is the general feeling among the coaches on this particular ACC football team and that comment is in the form of a question:

ACC Assistant Coach: “Any way you can take Taggart off the Hot Seat?”

CHS: “Why is that?”

ACC Assistant Coach: “Because we need to keep Willie in Tallahassee for as long as possible since it’s a guaranteed win every year now!”

You gonna take that Willie?

If not then how about showing up at practice on Monday and quit giving a Damn about making your players happy and….

Coaching The Freaking Game of Football Son

…and you can start by running the Hell out of the 15+ players on your FSU football team that Flat-Out QUIT against Syracuse!

The Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his book The Prince that….

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”

…and what Willie Taggart needs to understand is….

Your players will NEVER Love you if they do not Respect you and right now….

The FSU players have No Damn Respect for Willie Taggart or the FSU Assistant Coaches

…but be assured if dozen members of Coaches Hot Seat took over the Florida State football program on Monday by Tuesday evening after practice the players still left on the team….

Would Respect Us….You Can Damn Sure Count On That….Because We Would Tolerate Nothing But Respect From Our Players and the same should go for Willie Taggart!

4.  Clay Helton, USC – It’s impossible to understand the situation that USC head coach Clay Helton is in today unless you grew up watching USC football in the 1970s when the Trojans were one of the Top 10 teams in the country every year. Yes, Pete Carroll had a great run at USC from 2001 – 2009 but the USC alumni in their 50s, 60s, and 70s who have a Helluva Lot of money and influence in the Los Angeles and all over the world even are just not going to tolerate Clay Helton turning USC into average football program even if Helton is sitting on records now of…

Overall:  28 – 12

Pac-12:  20 – 6

The above are pretty decent numbers, but our friends who are USC-alums don’t think those records are so great and when they see in person in Austin the Trojans get blown-out by 23 points to a Texas team that lost to Maryland which just lost to Freaking Temple then you have some…

Pissed-Off USC Folks

…and believe it….they are now passing the hat around to raise the money to fire Clay Helton later this year if it comes to it which caused a member of Coaches Hot Seat to ask one our USC-alum buddies who could buy and sell Nick Saban in about 15 minutes on Sunday….

“What would it take for Helton to keep his job at USC?”

USC-alum:  “Clay better Damn win out the rest of the games.”

OK…let’s look at the remaining 9 games that Clay better Damn win every Damn one of them!

Washington State
At Arizona
Colorado
At Utah
Arizona State
At Oregon State
Cal
At UCLA
Notre Dame

Don’t think there’s a chance in Hell that Clay Helton and the USC Trojans win their last 9 games and if we had to guess we would say they go….

6 – 3 or 7 – 2 at best!

You know what that means right?

USC will be looking for a new head football coach by December and we happen to know a college head football coach with a team in the Top 15 who would love a shot at the USC job!

We wouldn’t recommend that Clay Helton and the Trojans lose to Washington State on Friday night OR any game the rest of the season or it’s Dandy Don time in South LA!

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – Maybe it’s just us but if we had…

$49 Million Dollars Guaranteed in our back pocket

…over the next 7 years whether we won another football game or not we would NOT….

Coach Like A Damn Coward

….but on Saturday at Jordan-Hare Stadium on The Plains in Auburn you had Gus Malzahn again….

Coaching Like A Damn Coward Against LSU!

Why Gus?

Can you please explain to us why you are still…

Coaching Like A Damn Coward Scared of Your Shadow Son?

Auburn has one of the best defenses in America and Gus is coaching the Tigers offense like the AU defense is not even going to show up for the game and just why in the Hell is that Gus?

Clearly that’s a question that Gus Malzahn is not going to answer but it’s a Helluva question because you give anyone at Coaches Hot Seat….

Guaranteed $49 Million Dollars over the next 7 Years

…we are going to attack your ass…

All Over The Field
Up and Down the Field
In the Damn Stands If Necessary

…to score as many Damn points as possible because….

We have no Damn Fear of anything because our ass is going to get paid $49 Million Dollars Whatever the Hell Happens!

Let’s look at Malzahn’s seasons at Auburn:

2013:  12 – 2
2014:  8 – 5
2015:  7 – 6
2016:  8 – 5
2017:  10 – 4

Geez…that’s 4+ losses in 4 of Gus’s 5 seasons at Auburn AND he is….

Guaranteed to make $7M a season for the next 7 years if he doesn’t win another football game!

Please now Gus….

Why in the Hell are you coaching the Auburn football team like a Damn Coward Son?

Let’s see what Auburn has left in 2018:

Arkansas
Southern Miss
At Mississippi State
Tennessee
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

That looks like at least THREE more losses which again would be….

FOUR losses on the season

…and that means….

8 – 4

….or could even be a….

7 – 5

…record in 2018 and we have to wonder just what Big Chumps the folks at Auburn will feel like if Gus Malzahn lays down a 8 – 4 or 7 – 5 after you just guaranteed him $49 Million Dollars?

Got VERY BIG Chumps?

Yep!

6.  Major Applewhite, Houston – Big-Time Houston booster and billionaire Tillman Fertitta made it clear a couple of years ago that….

Anything less than 10 wins a year with Houston football is not acceptable

…and after Major Applewhite put up a record of 7 – 5 in year one at Houston it was made clear to us that Major needed to hit the 10 win mark in 2018 to keep his job going into 2019 and losing to a Texas Tech team that got blasted by Ole Miss which just got blasted by Alabama is no doubt something that Tillman Fertitta has noted and with that in mind let’s see what the 2 – 1 Cougars have left on their schedule in 2018:

Texas Southern
Tulsa
At East Carolina
At Navy
USF
At SMU
Temple
Tulane
At Memphis

Let’s assume Fertitta is willing to give Major Applewhite a chance to get to 10 wins by winning a bowl game so that would mean Houston needs to win…

7 of their last 9 games

….and that’s going to be a challenge….a BIG Challenge!

7.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – Kevin Sumlin’s Arizona team beat FCS Southern Utah on Saturday night to raise their record to 1 – 2 but it’s back to Real Football in Week 4 with a game at Oregon State and a game that Sumlin and the Wildcats….

Better Damn Not Lose

….because if Arizona cannot beat Oregon State then we rather doubt they will win another game in 2018 and just think we thought at the beginning of the season that…

Anything less than 7 wins in 2018 would be a Total Disaster for Arizona!

Let’s look at the rest of Arizona’s schedule:

At Oregon State
USC
Cal
At Utah
At UCLA
Oregon
Colorado
At Washington State
Arizona State

We don’t have a Damn Clue how Arizona gets to 6 wins in 2018 = Code Red Total Damn Disaster for Kevin Sumlin in Year 1 in Tucson!

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – The Illini were up on South Florida for most of the game on Saturday before letting USF get them in the fourth quarter and that loss to the Bulls drops Illinois head coach Lovie Smith’s records to….

Overall:  7 – 20

Big Ten:  2 – 16

….and Big Ten Conference play starts this coming Saturday for the Illini with…

Penn State coming to Champaign!

Oh…here’s the rest of the Illini schedule who are now at 2 – 1:

Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

Our guess the Illini win 2 of their remaining 9 games to finish at 4 – 8 which is DOUBLE the number of wins the last two seasons for Illinois!

Woo-Freaking-Hoo!

Maybe give Lovie and extension and raise he gets to 4 wins in 2018?

It’s Illinois after all where Average is Great and Good is You Are A Freaking God on Earth!

9.  David Beaty, Kansas – You gotta give whoever is making the schedules in Lawrence great credit because when you open the season with….

Nicholls
At Central Michigan
Rutgers

….you are hoping for a 2 – 1 start at least and that is what David Beaty and Kansas got and now it’s back to Big Boy Football in Week 4 with a trip to Baylor but come now….Baylor just got blasted by Duke in Waco and Hell…

Kansas could move to 3 – 1 with a win over Baylor on Saturday!

After Baylor its…

Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

We would recommend that David Beaty and Kansas find a way to beat Baylor in Waco in Saturday because if you can’t beat Baylor….

You will not win another game this season!

10.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – After a slow start in the game against SMU the Wolverines turned it up a few notches and coasted to a 45 – 20 win over the Mustangs and looky-here we have a…

Damn Fascinating Game in Ann Arbor on Saturday

…with winless Nebraska and new head coach Scott Frost coming into town in a game that…

Neither Team or Coach can afford to lose

….and that’s true for Jim Harbaugh and Michigan because what comes after the Huskers visit to the Big House:

At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

The way that Wisconsin looked against BYU and Michigan State against Arizona State we don’t see why Michigan doesn’t get to the Ohio State game with more than 2 losses or less because the above are all teams that Blue should beat save the game against Penn State on November 3 and even that game is winnable.

Jim Harbaugh and Michigan just CANNOT LOSE to Nebraska this coming Saturday and to lose this game would nothing short of a Code Red Total Disaster!

Great Luck Jimmy!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Best Land Under Heaven: The Donner Party in the Age of Manifest Destiny

 

Before we get to the Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings the members of Coaches Hot Seat have been reading a GREAT book the last few weeks which will give anyone a great perspective on life and one’s relative lack of luck in their lives on this Earth. The book is…

The Best Land Under Heaven: The Donner Party in the Age of Manifest Destiny, Michael Wallis, Amazon.com

…and not only does the above book provide an amazing history of the trials and tribulations of the Donner Party’s trip from the Midwest to California in 1846, it weaves into the story many important parts of American history that will change how you view our Great Country. As the great Civil War author and historian Shelby Foote has rightly said…

“One cannot understand America without understanding the US Civil War.”

…one cannot also really understand America without knowing about the massive movement of Americans to the West in the middle of the 19 th Century before and after gold was found in California in 1849.

The main lesson though we got from the book The Best Land Under Heaven is that no matter how bad things are in our lives they could be a Helluva lot worse which brings some great perspective to our daily lives and with that in mind let’s get to the latest ranking of multi-millionaire college head coaches on the Hot Seat who haven’t a care in the world beyond their asses now being lit-up!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Thank Johnny!

1.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – If Butch Jones hadn’t committed so many verbal and personal gaffes at Tennessee the last five seasons he might have a fighting chance to survive to coach the Vols in 2018 with plenty of winnable games left on the schedule but after back-to-back home losses to Georgia and South Carolina it’s all but over for one of the most disliked men in Tennessee football history.

There’s an art + science to a college head football coach winning over both his football team and fan base and Butch Jones has amazingly alienated both to varying degrees at Tennessee and thus Butch has all but given up an important thing for coaches….”the benefit of the doubt”…when things get tough and with Alabama on deck for the 3 – 3 Vols Jones has now worked himself into a position where he better Damn have Chubby Boy in Memphis looking for an exit door to another head coaching job IF Jones wants to coach next season.

Here’s what Tennessee has left in 2017:

At Alabama
At Kentucky
Southern Miss
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt

Our guess the Vols win 6 or 7 games at best in 2017 and there’s not a chance in Hell Butch Jones will survive that in Year 5 in Knoxville so the attention now turns to who will be the next head football coach at Tennessee which will be one of the most interesting hires in the upcoming weeks.

2.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – If there is one thing we really distrust at Coaches Hot Seat it is anything categorized as a “slam-dunk” and Bret Bielema was described as such when hired at Arkansas in 2013 and yet here we are FIVE years later and Bielema now has on the board:

Overall:  27 – 30

SEC:  10 – 25

Nope….Bret Bielema was NOT a “slam-dunk” hire at Arkansas and in reality Bielema has made a Helluva lot of bad decisions in Fayetteville primarily around assistant coaches he has hired + failed to keep which is richly ironic since one of the reasons some claimed Bielema took the Arkansas job was that he couldn’t get more money for his assistants at Wisconsin! Bret Bielema has had ALL the Damn Money and Resources he has needed or possibly wanted at Arkansas and yet his record in SEC play is…

10 – 25

….so please don’t tell us Bielema hasn’t had every Damn chance to win games in Fayetteville because the reality is he has had EVERYTHING and he has FAILED miserably!

What is really scary at Arkansas is that there are otherwise smart people like Arky AD Jeff Long who don’t have the ability to admit they were “wrong” or even to make it clear that expectations at Arkansas are a Helluva lot higher than what Bielema has been not achieving with the Hogs and what a great lesson this is for everyone who should learn from this situation that…

When Wrong…Admit You Are Wrong…Learn From Your Mistakes…and Move the Hell On To Fixing the Damn Problem!

Instead Arkansas AD Jeff Long is in deep denial about Bret Bielema but then why wouldn’t Long be in denial since after all he has hired as head football coaches at Arky that in the end turned out to be…

Bobby Petrino – Total Damn Disaster
John L. Smith – Total Damn Disaster
Bret Bielema – Total Damn Disaster

Some may argue that Bobby Petrino won a Helluva lot of games at Arkansas, but there is not a chance in Hell we would have hired Petrino then or today to wash our cars because we have standards somewhere way the Hell north of Jeff Long and the University of Arkansas and when you set your standards low no one should be surprised that your ass ends up looking like a fool when a motorcycle accident happens!

After the loss to Alabama the 2 – 4 Hogs now have left on the schedule…

Auburn
At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

…and does anyone with a working brain think Arkansas can win 4 of their last 6 games to get to even a .500 record in Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job?

Nope and that is why fans of Arkansas Football have one choice and one choice only…

Fire AD Jeff Long AND Head Coach Bret Bielema

…or let your football program be totally destroyed!

It’s YOUR choice fans of Arkansas Football!

3.  David Beaty, Kansas – Things are getting Very Damn Stupid at the University of Kansas and we write that because KU AD Sheahon Zenger has hired two head football coaches….Charlie Weis and David Beaty….and their combined records the last SIX seasons stands at:

Overall:  9 – 49

Big 12:  2 – 38

Geez….can someone explain to us how Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger is still employed in Lawrence?

Oh…current Kansas head coach David Beaty’s records are now…

Overall:  3 – 27

Big 12:  1 – 20

..and the 1 – 5 Jayhawks still have to play in 2017….

At TCU
Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State

…which looks to us like a 1 – 11 record in Beaty’s THIRD season on the job.

Can ANY head football coach and the AD that hired him survive the above records?

Not in the Real World but is the University of Kansas part of the Real World?

Not really it seems!

4.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – The Cold Hard Reality of Mike Riley’s tenure at Nebraska are his records which after the Total Debacle home loss to Ohio State now stand at…

Overall:  18 – 15

Big Ten:  11 – 10

….which would get ANY coach fired in Lincoln and now there really is nothing that can save Riley’s job barring the Yellowstone Supervolcano erupting and ending all life on Earth!

With the above reality in mind it will be interesting to see who new Nebraska AD Bill Moos hires to replace Mike Riley between now and early December and we would be stunned if Moos tried to bring Washington State head coach Mike Leach to Lincoln since our friends in the Great State of Nebraska that we checked with aren’t really into a…

Head Coach blaming his players when HIS team gets its ass whipped as Washington State got whipped by California on Friday night!

…but then who the Hell wants a coach that gives blame when HIS team loses and takes credit when THEY win? As Paul “Bear” Bryant rightly said and which no doubt the Great Tom Osborne would agree with…

“If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”

….which Mike Leach has turned on its head by essentially saying to his players:

When things go right I get the credit and when thing go wrong YOU get the blame!

Who in the Hell would want his Son playing for a coach that believes that kind of Total and Non-American Excuse Making Bullshit and where exactly was Mike Leach raised because Real Americans don’t raise Total Asses that care little about anything but their own Precious Ass?

Pitiful Mike Leach…just So Damn Pitiful and if you lost a couple more games it will be a Damn Pleasure to roast your Sorry and Pitiful Ass Mike!

The obvious choice of the next head coach at Nebraska is of course UCF HC Scott Frost but Frost might have several attractive offers to choose from in the coming weeks and if Frost does decide to go elsewhere Moos will have a career defining job to do that will determine the future fate of Nebraska Football so no pressure at all Bill and Good Luck to you in the new job as well!

5.  Barry Odom, Missouri – After the loss to Georgia on Saturday Mizzou head coach Barry’s Odom’s records now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 13

SEC:  2 – 10

….and the 1 – 5 Tigers still have to play in 2017:

Idaho
At UConn
Florida
Tennessee
At Vanderbilt
At Arkansas

…and our guess is that Mizzou wins 3….maybe 4 games…this season and that would be 4 wins or less TWO straight seasons and nothing short of a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Mizzou Football!

6.  Jim Mora, UCLA – For some reason between the 2015 and 2016 football seasons they quit teaching the UCLA Bruins football players how to tackle in Westwood and “Surprise – Surprise”…NOT…. in the last two seasons the Bruins under Jim Mora have posted records of…

Overall:  7 – 11

Pac-12:  3 – 8

….and now at 3 – 3 after the loss to Arizona what is still left on the schedule in 2017 is…

Oregon
At Washington
At Utah
Arizona State
At USC
California

….which looks like SIX wins at best for Mora & Company and is that acceptable to the folks at UCLA in Mora’s SIXTH year on the job?

It might just be!

7.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – Congratulations to Todd Graham and his Arizona State football team on beating the Mighty Washington Huskies which for some reason looked unprepared and borderline un-coached in Tempe on Saturday night….What’s Up With That Pete?….and with that win over the Huskies the 3 – 3 Sun Devils have to keep things rolling because head coach Graham needs 7+ wins to hang onto this job and here is what ASU still has in front of them this season:

At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

One of the toughest things for a college head football coach is to get his team down from the HIGH of a beating a top-ranked team and Todd Graham has his work cut-out for him in getting the Sun Devils re-focused to play a very tough Utah team in Salt Lake City on Saturday because a loss to the Utes on Saturday and Graham will be moving right back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings again!

8.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – In a season where Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn needs no more than 4 losses AND a win over either Georgia or Alabama to save his job losing two games to Clemson and LSU with Georgia and Alabama still left on the schedule is definitely Not A Good Thing and the calculus for Malzahn is that he has NO margin for error between now and the first of December with the 5 – 2 Tigers still having to play games against…

At Arkansas
At Texas A&M
Georgia
La. Monroe
Alabama

Bottom-Line:

If Gus Malzahn loses to Georgia and Alabama to finish at 8 – 4 he’s DONE at Auburn

If Gus Malzahn loses another game but beats either Georgia and Alabama to finish at 8 – 4 he HAS A CHANCE at Auburn

Yep…this is about Gus Malzahn winning at least one of the two games against Georgia and Alabama and we would recommend that Malzahn and his Tigers not lose either of the next two games before Georgia comes to The Plains on November 11 because that would put Gus into a borderline impossible spot so…

Coach Hard Gus because your job in on the line EVERY week Son!

9.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Can someone…anyone…explain to us why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois?

No one can explain to us why Lovie Smith is the head coach at Illinois?

Didn’t think so and now after nothing short of a Total Disaster of a loss to Rutgers at home which came into the game with 16 straight Big Ten Conference losses Lovie Smith’s records with the Illini now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 13

Big Ten:  2 – 10

…and they still have to play this season:

At Minnesota
Wisconsin
At Purdue
Indiana
At Ohio State
Northwestern

Hell…will Illinois win another game in 2017?

Hell..even if they do win 1 or 2 of their last 6 games to finish at 3 – 9 or 4 – 8 how could Lovie Smith stay employed at Illinois?

The reality is that there are some coaches that are Pro Coaches and there are some coaches that are College Coaches and then there are a TINY amount of coaches that can coach both Pro and College players and if there is one thing that coaches that have successfully coached in both the Pro and College games…think Jimmy Johnson and Pete Carroll…it is they have…

PASSION

…for the Great Game of Football and thus can motivate 18 – 22 year old kids and Lovie Smith seems to us to be…

Barely Awake Even During the Games

….so Please…how in the Hell can Lovie Smith ever win a Damn thing at Illinois?

Eventually Lovie Smith will be fired at Illinois because there’s not a chance in Hell he will ever make the Illini competitive in the Uber-competitive Big Ten Conference and when the firing of a coach is inevitable it’s ALWAYS best to get on with the firing which is something the AD at Illinois will either understand now or learn eventually in the next year or so!

10.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s BC team beat Louisville on Saturday which was nice win BUT beating this year’s Louisville team is not going to be that big of a deal come the end of the season because Louisville couldn’t stop the prison team from the original The Longest Yard movie and with that win Addazio’s Eagles improved to 3 – 4 in 2017 with these games still left to be played…

At Virginia
Florida State
NC State
UConn
At Syracuse

Unlike Louisville most of the above teams actually play DEFENSE and thus we fully expect BC to finish with a losing record in 2017 and for Steve Addazio to lose his job come late November – early December because with these records on the board…

Overall:  27 – 31

ACC:  12 – 24

…how could Addazio possibly keep his job with another losing season this year?

The Les Miles and Ron Turner Firings on Sunday – Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – These Hot Seat Coaches Need to Understand Mr. Cash That When You Make Millions of Dollars A Year…Your Ass Will Either Perform Or End Up On The Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

 

The Les Miles and Ron Turner Firings on Sunday

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Many of us here at Coaches Hot Seat were flying back to San Francisco from Los Angeles on Sunday after seeing Stanford come back and beat UCLA on Saturday night at the Rose Bowl and as we tweeted out on Sunday…

We were surprised but not shocked that LSU fired Les Miles

…because we believe Totally in the saying that now former Florida AD Jeremy Foley has said many times during his great career as AD in Gainesville…

“What will have to be done eventually should be done immediately.”

…and No Damn Doubt in our minds Les Miles should have been fired at the end of the 2016 season because in our opinion…

Les Miles is Incredibly Stubborn and would rather LSU Football lose football games than Miles EVER having to admit that he was wrong about ANYTHING

…and anyone with a working brain knows that Les Miles’ brand of football should be tossed on the scrapheap of college football history and anyone that is considering hiring Les Miles in the future should understand that reality Very Damn Clearly!

The Win/Loss Numbers for Les Miles over the past THREE seasons…2014 – 2016…are Very Damn Ugly Indeed when one considers that during the past THREE seasons Miles has had Top 5 talent in college football and those Win/Loss numbers are…

Overall:  19 – 10

SEC:  10 – 8

Power 5 Schools:  12 – 10

…which is nothing short of a Total and Complete Disaster when you have…

TOP FIVE TALENT in College Football at LSU

…which makes it in our opinion that LSU was 10 Months Late in firing Les Miles and in the end if might cost LSU….

Tom Herman to Texas or USC!

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Let’s leave the who will be the next head coach at LSU speculation for another day and give a Hearty Congratulations for Coach Ed Orgeron who is now the…

Head Football Coach at LSU

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…and who we hope can win many of the remaining games the Tigers have against…

Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

…especially since LSU has MORE talent on its roster than every team left on its schedule except for Alabama.

One thing that Coach O said that caught our attention in his press conference on Monday was that LSU was going to…

“Spend less time on the practice field and more time in the meeting rooms.”

….which is what Pete Carroll did at USC and which as former football players here at Coaches Hot Seat is something we have believed in for 30+ years now going back to the Bill Walsh days at Stanford the first-time around.

As the great Alabama head coach Frank Thomas, who played for Knute Rockne at Notre Dame and coached Paul “Bear” Bryant at Alabama, once said:

“Keep the players high. Make practice a pleasure, not a lark. Be a disciplinarian, but not a slave driver. It’s better to have a short, full practice than a long lazy one.”

Amen to that Coach Thomas….and Coach O as well!

Give ‘Em Hell Coach O…and just like at USC…we will be pulling for you Coach!

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On the Ron Turner firing at FIU it was no surprise to anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat that Ron Turner was fired in his FOURTH season at FIU where he put up records of…

Overall:  10 – 30

CUSA:  7 – 17

….because as we said when Ron Turner was hired…

FIU had no Damn Business hiring Ron Turner because if you are going to fire Mario Cristobal then you better Damn hire someone better than Cristobal and Ron Turner is not in the same world as Cristobal in coaching college football in the early part of the 21 st century…..PERIOD!

FIU should hire a young, fiery, smart, tenacious, hard-charging, fighting like Hell coach and just realize if the coach does a good job at FIU he will probably be off to a bigger job and then FIU should go out and hire another….

Young, fiery, smart, tenacious, hard-charging, fighting like Hell coach!

Do that FIU….just do that!

 

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These Hot Seat Coaches Need to Understand Mr. Cash That When You Make Millions of Dollars A Year…Your Ass Will Either Perform Or End Up On The Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Clay Helton, USC – We spent several hours with an USC-alum friend of ours on this past Saturday night in Santa Monica after we watched Stanford come back and beat UCLA at the Rose Bowl and to say that our friend and many of his fellow USC-alum friends are PISSED-OFF about the current state of USC football would be a massive understatement!

Consider these numbers for a moment…since 2009 USC’s combined Pac-12 Conference record over the past 8 seasons now stands at…

40 – 25

…which includes USC head coaches Pete Carroll’s last year, Lane Kiffin, Ed Orgeron, Steve Sarkisian, and Clay Helton. Then consider the below numbers which is Alabama and Nick Saban’s record in SEC Conference play over the past 8 seasons…

48 – 8

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Why do we mention Nick Saban and Alabama’s record in SEC Conference play over the past 8 seasons you ask?

Because an USC-alum that could buy and sell most of the Westside of Los Angeles on any given afternoon has it written on a dry erase board in his home office and those two numbers….USC and Alabama’s conference records since 2009….was written on that dry erase board by someone who is fed-up with what is going on with USC football, and who is now going around Los Angeles briefing other USC alums about just what in the Hell is going to happen at USC if Clay Helton doesn’t get things turned around with the Trojans…and in a Helluva hurry!

Here are the important win/loss records at USC for Clay Helton as this moment:

Overall:  7 – 7

Pac-12:  5 – 3

The word we got from our USC-alum friend on Saturday night….

Clay Helton either wins 7 games in 2016…meaning USC will need to win 6 of its last 8 games this season…or the Clay Helton era at USC will be over shortly after the Notre Dame game on November 26.

Oh..Clay Helton better Damn beat UCLA and Notre Dame in getting those 7 wins!

Our opinion after talking to our USC-alum friend on Saturday night for a few hours:

Clay Helton better win 7-plus games or there is going to be a MEGA OFFER by USC to hire Tom Herman in 6 or so weeks that will make Herman the highest-paid coach in college football and with that in mind we would recommend that Helton’s Trojans beat Arizona State on Saturday night at the LA Coliseum!

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2.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s Boston College team beat Total Damn Cupcake Wagner on Saturday which raised the Eagles overall record in 2016 to…

2 – 2

….which leaves Addazio’s win/loss records in four seasons at…

Overall:  19 – 23

ACC:  8 – 18

…and on Saturday BC plays host to Buffalo in a game that we would recommend Steve Addazio NOT lose because if the Eagles did lose to a Buffalo team at home then Addazio might not be the BC coach by Noon on Sunday!

It’s all very simple for Steve Addazio in 2016 IF Boston College can beat Buffalo on Saturday:

Win at least 6 games and Addazio will get another season at BC.

Don’t win at least 6 games and the Boston College job will open up in late November…if not sooner!

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3.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Our Texas-alum friends are NOT Stupid and after Texas got beat by what many of us think is just an average California team coupled with Notre Dame’s defense being more porous than a 3-year old sponge Charlie Strong is now in a very dangerous spot where Charlie will either win several critical games coming up or he might be out of a job before the 2016 season is half over.

The numbers or Charlie Strong at Texas are very mediocre…

Overall:  13 – 15

Big 12:  9 – 9

…and even though we think the world of Charlie and are hoping he can turn Texas back into a college football power the TRUTH is that Notre Dame’s Total Damn Collapse has turned up the heat on Strong who is facing TWO CRITICAL games in the next TWO weeks…

At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma

….that with TWO losses could very well lead to Charlie Strong being shown the door before the Longhorns play Iowa State on October 15.

Oh Yes…Charlie Strong is in a very precarious situation and from what we have been told…

“Anything less than 8 wins in 2016 and Charlie is done….PERIOD!”

….because the Texas boys with very deep pockets are not going to be left on the outside looking in on the Tom Herman sweepstakes and if a change in the head coaching job at Texas has to be made and USC is offering Tom Herman…

$8 Million A Year

…the Texas Boys will go with…

$9 Million A Year!

Our recommendation to Charlie Strong:

Beat Oklahoma State on Saturday Charlie and for God’s Sake…start playing some Damn Defense!

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4.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – The numbers since Fresno State won the Mountain West Conference title for the second straight time in 2013 are very ugly indeed for Tim DeRuyter and his Bulldogs….since 2013 Fresno State’s records at…

Overall:  10 – 18

MWC:  7 – 13

…and a home loss to Tulsa in two overtimes on Saturday just made things that much worse and now it’s either…

Start Winning Some Football Games

…for Tim DeRuyter or there will be a new head football coach for Fresno State come sometime in December.

How many games does Tim DeRuyter need to win in 2016 to keep his job?

At least 6 games total Tim…at least 6 games.

Now at 1 – 3 on the season and these games still left to be played…

At UNLV
At Nevada
San Diego State
At Utah State
Air Force
At Colorado State
Hawaii
San Jose State

….can the Bulldogs win 5 of their last 8 games?

If they can’t then Tim DeRuyter NEEDS to be fired!

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5.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – With the Alabama whipping of Kent State on Saturday Paul Haynes record coaching the Golden Flashes over the last FOUR seasons now stands at…

Overall:  10 – 29

MAC:  6 – 17

…and with KSU now at 1 – 3 on the 2016 season either Haynes will get his team to 6 wins in 2016 or Kent State will be looking for a new head coach come December.

Next up for Paul Haynes and Kent State…

Akron and head coach Terry Bowden at home on Saturday!

Good Luck with that Paul!

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6.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – We especially wanted to talk to some our Auburn friends after the Tigers close win over LSU on Saturday to get their opinions on the future of Gus Malzahn and it took until Tuesday afternoon to reach all of them and the general consensus among the Auburn alums we talked to is this…

Gus Malzahn will more than likely be back to coach at Auburn in 2017 IF the Tigers at least SEVEN games in 2016 and with that in mind and Auburn now sitting on a 2 – 2 record this season here is what AU have left to play:

La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

So Gus Malzahn has to win FIVE of his last EIGHT games to return as the Auburn coach in 2017 and he has…

TWO Total Damn Cupcakes in La. Monroe and Alabama A&M

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….so Malzahn has to win THREE of SIX games against…

At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
At Alabama

Our opinion…if Gus Malzahn can’t win THREE of the above SIX games then he should be fired shortly after the Alabama game on November 26 because EVEN IF Malzahn finished at…

7 – 5

…in 2016 his win/loss records over the last THREE seasons…2014 – 2016….would stand at:

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….and a coach at Auburn cannot possibly survive posting a record in SEC Conference play over three years of…

10 – 14

….right?

Hell…maybe the folks around and support Auburn Football are now willing to accept…

Average As Hell

….but then at Auburn a 10 – 14 SEC Conference record over three years isn’t even…

Average As Hell

….it’s MUCH WORSE!

Oh…if La. Monroe happened to beat Auburn on Saturday which is coached by Matt Viator who is a pretty Damn good football coach then we recommend the Alabama media pay close attention because we rather doubt that Gus Malzahn will be the head coach at Auburn by Noon on Sunday!

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7.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – Some…make that Many…will say that it’s crazy to have Will Muschamp on the Hot Seat in his first year at South Carolina BUT we have a couple of close friends that are South Carolina alumni who have plenty of friends who were…

None Too Happy About Will Muschamp’s Hiring at USC

…and who are more than willing to throw their weight around if the 2016 season should turn into a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Muschamp at USC

….and if you can’t beat Kentucky….the 2016 season has the potential to turn into a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Muschamp at USC!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season Will Muschamp and South Carolina still have 8 games left against…

Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

…and we would recommend…and we are pulling for Will Muschamp….to win at least…

THREE of the last EIGHT games

…because if for some reason South Carolina finishes the 2016 season with wins only over…

Vanderbilt
East Carolina
UMass
Western Carolina

….we could recommend folks keep their eyes on Columbia come late November…just saying!

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8.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – One thing we tell our young employees is…

When you get into a position of power don’t be an Arrogant Ass

….because when you fail…and EVERYONE will fail at some time in their life….the people that sign your paychecks….

The Alumni, Boosters, and Fans of Notre Dame Football for Brian Kelly

….will be more likely to…

Kick Your Arrogant Ass to the Curb

…and that is what Brian Kelly is now facing if the 2016 season should turn into a Total and Complete Disaster after losses to Texas, Michigan State, and Duke to open the 2016 season.

Now at 1 – 3 the Non-Fighting Irish still have games against….

Syracuse
At NC State
Stanford
Miami
Navy
Army
Virginia Tech
At USC

….and it’s just a humble guess by the folks here at Coaches Hot Seat but we are thinking Notre Dame will win…

4….maybe 5…games in 2016

….and if Notre Dame wins 4…maybe 5…games in 2016…

Notre Dame will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after the USC game on November 26…

COUNT ON IT!

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9.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and his Purdue football team got a nice win at home over Nevada on Saturday which leaves Hazell’s records in FOUR seasons at the school at…

Overall:  8 – 31

Big Ten:  2 – 22

….and we have it on what we call Very Damn Good Authority that if Hazell wins less than 6 games in 2016 Purdue will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after the Indiana game on September 26!

Up next for Darrell Hazell and Purdue….at Maryland which has a first year coach in his first head coaching job which is a game that Purdue and Hazell SHOULD win but will they…

Not Bloody Likely!

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10.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – We don’t know a whole lot of people around the University of Kentucky since we don’t follow college basketball like we do college football BUT we did reach what will call a “person of interest” in the Lexington area who told us on Monday of this week that…

“If Mark Stoops wins five games in 2016….Hell, maybe four games in 2016 he will be back to coach Kentucky next season.”

Geez…in your FOURTH year on the job at Kentucky you can win FOUR games and keep your job?

Well…this is Kentucky Football we are talking about here BUT with Kentucky now at 2 – 2 on the season and these games still to be played…

At Alabama
Vanderbilt
Mississippi State
At Missouri
Georgia
At Tennessee
Austin Peay
At Louisville

…can Mark Stoops and the Wildcats win just TWO of their last EIGHT games to save Mark Stoops job?

Now that is just Damn Silly that you can KEEP your job by winning TWO of your last EIGHT games but then can UK and Stoops even do that?

Maybe….Just Damn Maybe!

If Mark Stoops does win only 3 games in 2016…

Kentucky will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after Bobby Petrino and Louisville BEATS the Living Hell out of the Wildcats on November 26!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – It’s Early In The Season Yes…But That Doesn’t Mean Mr. Johnny Cash Isn’t Already Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

 

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

It’s Early In The Season Yes…But That Doesn’t Mean Mr. Johnny Cash Isn’t Already Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – The most shocking thing about the…

Fall of Gus Malzahn at Auburn

…is how Fast + Far the Fall has been and if one goes back to Saturday, October 4, 2014 which is the day that Auburn beat LSU at home by the score of…

41 – 7

….over the past two-plus seasons Gus Malzahn has posted TWO records that are nothing less than a…

Total and Complete Disaster at Auburn!

In Gus Malzahn’s Last 18 games against Power 5 Conference Schools his win/loss record is…

5 – 13

….and in Gus Malzahn’s Last 15 SEC Conference Games his win/loss record is…

4 – 11

Sorry….NO Coach can survive those kinds of records at Auburn and that means the BIGGEST game of Gus Malzahn’s coaching career is this coming Saturday night at home against an LSU team that is wobbling as well and also has a coach on the Hot Seat in Les Miles because very simply….

Gus Malzahn CANNOT Lose to LSU at home on Saturday night!

According to Tyler Thompson at Kentucky Sports Radio who did a nice breakdown of the current buyouts in the SEC…

Comparing Mark Stoops’ buyout to the rest of the SEC, Tyler Thompson, Kentucky Sports Radio

….Gus Malzahn’s buyout if fired at the end of the 2016 season would be…

$8.95 Million Dollars

….which is Beyond Damn Absurd although not as Absurd as the $12 Million Dollars that Kentucky would owe Mark Stoops if fired, and if we were in a position of power at Auburn University right now we would be wondering?

Who in the Hell is hiring and signing these Beyond Damn Absurd contracts with Auburn Head Football Coaches that would if Gus Malzahn is fired after this season lead to Auburn paying out…

North of $20 Million Dollars to buyout Tommy Tuberville, Gene Chizik and Gus Malzahn!

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That would be Auburn AD Jay Jacobs who is a Helluva nice man and talented college athletic sports administrator but unfortunately it seems that Jay like many ADs in FBS today have…

No Damn Respect for other people’s money meaning the Fans, Boosters, Alumni and anyone else that spends their hard-earned money on Auburn Football and Athletics!

Our opinion on the Auburn situation: If Auburn can’t beat what is a Very Average LSU team at home on The Plains the Tigers will be lucky to win…

6 Games in 2016!

Yes…it’s that bad at Auburn and someone at Auburn better have a Damn plan in place if the 2016 season melts down in the coming weeks!

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2.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Let this sink in for a moment…

In Steve Addazio’s 41 st game at Boston College in his FOURTH season on the job his BC football team just got beat…

49 – 0

….by a team in Virginia Tech with a first-year head coach in Justin Fuente who took over a Hokies team that won SIX games in the 2015 regular season!

There is NO DAMN EXCUSE for Steve Addazio to take a team to Blacksburg and lose 49 – 0 to what is still a finding-its-way Virginia Tech team and with that loss Steve Addazio’s records at BC dropped to…

Overall:  18 – 23

ACC:  8 – 18

….and over the last two seasons Steve Addazio is now sitting on a record of…

4 – 11!

Geez….you think things are coming apart at Boston College with the Eagles next REAL game after playing Cupcakes Wagner and Buffalo in the next two weeks being Clemson at home?

Yes…things are coming apart at Boston College and the word on the street in Boston where it seems BC-alums are finally coming to their senses before their football program goes in the totally in the toilet…

Anything less than 6 wins in 2016 and Steve Addazio is DONE come late November.

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Purdue has a bye in Week 3 and gets back to playing with a home game against Nevada on Saturday in a game that flat-out…

Darrell Hazell CANNOT Lose

….because a loss to Nevada to drop to 1 – 2 on the season with NINE Big Ten games left to play would be…

Forget Turning Out the Lights Because There is No Damn Electricity

….for the Purdue Boilermakers in 2016!

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4.  Clay Helton, USC – It hasn’t been easy to reach our USC-alum friends especially as they let sink in that..

Stanford has won EIGHT of the last TEN games against USC

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….but we did get what we will call a Very Damn Influential USC-alum on the phone on Monday morning at his office overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica and here is what he said about Clay Helton when asked…

“Clay Helton is a nice man but anything less than NINE wins this season and it’s over for Clay. We know (meaning USC-alums) we will have to raise a lot of money to get someone like Tom Herman, but we are determined to make USC football relevant again whatever the cost may be.”

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With the above in mind USC plays at Utah on Saturday and with a loss Clay Helton’s overall record coaching the Trojans would drop to…

7 – 7

…and we recommend to Clay Helton that…

Your Trojans BEAT Utah Son!

Oh…what is a “lot of money” in the mind of a Very Damn Influential USC-alum to hire someone like Tom Herman you ask?

$10M A Year meaning the Highest Paid Coach in College Football!

Yep…USC-alums are not happy and they are willing to take out their checkbooks to show just how unhappy they are with the current state of USC Football!

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5.  Les Miles, LSU – Talk about what would be nothing less than a…

Total and Complete Disaster

…what if Les Miles LSU team went to Auburn this coming Saturday night and lost to Auburn team that looks like it has No Damn Clue what stadium it is playing in?

Oh that would be a…Total and Complete Disaster…which is why this Saturday’s LSU vs. Auburn game is one of those….

A CANNOT Lose Game for both Les Miles and Gus Malzahn

…with the losing coach being taken straight to Cape Kennedy after the game to be put on a rocket to launch him and his ass Straight Towards the Face of the Sun!

OK…we have seen LSU play against Wisconsin, Jacksonville State, and Mississippi State this year and the Tigers looked like a very AVERAGE football team in all three games and if one looks at what is left on LSU’s schedule…

At Auburn
Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

…how many games can Les Miles and his football team realistically win in 2016?

We say…no more than EIGHT games and anything less than TEN wins and Les Miles is done come December and if LSU fans want to hire Tom Herman or Bobby Petrino for that matter they better like our USC-alum friends be ready to…

Write Some BIG Checks!

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6.  Ron Turner, Florida International – With the FIU loss to UMass on Saturday head coach Ron Turner’s records at FIU now stand at…

Overall:  10 – 29

CUSA:  7 – 17

….an do we need to write any more about Ron Turner at FIU?

NO is the answer to that question!

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7.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – At first we thought it was an Internet Joke that Kentucky head coach Mark Stoops had a…

$12 Million Dollar Buyoutat Kentucky but as Tyler Thompson has shown doing some great research…

Comparing Mark Stoops’ buyout to the rest of the SEC, Tyler Thompson, Kentucky Sports Radio

…that $12 Million Dollar buyout DO BE TRUE which again shows that another AD…this time Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart…doesn’t…

Know His Ass From the Side of a Barn

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….because when Mark Stoops was given this Totally Damn Absurd Contract and Buyout…

Mark Stoops had done NOTHING to have earned such a RICH payout

…but then don’t feel bad Mitch Barnhart…

College Athletics is riddled with Total Damn Complete Moron ADs that seem to love giving away Other People’s Hard-Earned Money!

With Kentucky’s come from behind win over woeful New Mexico State on Saturday Mark Stoops records at UK now stand at…

Overall:  13 – 26

SEC:  4 – 21

….and with these games still left on the Wildcats schedule…

South Carolina
At Alabama
Vanderbilt
Mississippi State
At Missouri
Georgia
At Tennessee
Austin Peay
At Louisville

….we don’t see Kentucky winning more than…

FOUR Games in 2016

…and even though Kentucky would owe Mark Stoops the Totally Damn Absurd…

$12 Million Dollars

…if fired after the season how could Kentucky keep on a head football coach that won…

FOUR Games in his FOURTH season on the job?

They COULD NOT is the answer to that question!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were at the Texas – Cal game at Memorial Stadium on Saturday night and the word they brought back to us on Sunday was that….

Texas let the Cal wide-receivers run wild and didn’t pressure the Bears QB

…and if you allow that to happen with ANY spread-passing offensive attack as Cal…and many Big 12 schools now run….you are going to give up a Helluva LOT of points and…

Giving up 50 Points to Cal when Cal only scored 51 on woeful Hawaii and only 40 on San Diego State

…is not only Not Freaking Acceptable is it borderline a Firing Offense when you are in your THIRD season on the job as Charlie Strong is at Texas.

The Problem that Charlie Strong is now facing is that many schools in the Big 12 play an offense just like Cal’s and Charlie better get the Texas Defense fixed and quick because look what’s coming up for the Horns…

At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas Tech
West Virginia
At Kansas
TCU

Hell…if Texas plays like they did against Cal the rest of the season the Horns will win….

FIVE…Maybe SIX Games in 2016 and if that happens…

Charlie Strong will NOT be the head coach at Texas come December….PERIOD!

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9.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – Since Tim DeRuyter and his Fresno State football team won the Mountain West Conference in 2013 his Bulldogs have posted records over the past three seasons of…

Overall:  10 – 19

MWC:  7 – 9

…and the proud folks that support Fresno State football are just NOT going to tolerate that kind of football for much longer and thus why Tim DeRuyter better get things turned around in the Valley or he will be out of a job at the end of this season.

Now at 1 – 2 on the season and looking at what is left on Fresno State’s schedule in 2016…

Tulsa
At UNLV
At Nevada
San Diego State
At Utah State
Air Force
At Colorado State
Hawaii
San Jose State

…there is NO reason for the Bulldogs to win less than…

SEVEN Games in 2016

…and SEVEN Wins in 2016 is probably what DeRuyter needs to keep his job at Fresno State!

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10.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Hey, Hey, Hey…Kent State and head coach Paul Haynes got a win on Saturday against Monmouth which is enough to temper much of the enthusiasm for the win….especially when one sees who the Golden Flashes are playing next…

Alabama in Tuscaloosa!

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Uhhhh…Good Luck with that Paul Haynes!

Paul Hayne’s win/loss records in FOUR seasons at Kent State:

Overall:  10 – 28

MAC:  6 – 17

Make that 10 – 29 with the Crimson Tide looming!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches – These Coaches on the Hot Seat might not like it Mr. Cash…but Give Them Hell Anyway!

 

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These Coaches on the Hot Seat might not like it Mr. Cash…but Give Them Hell Anyway!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Les Miles, LSU – When you have a quarterback that has played as much football as LSU QB Brandon Harris it’s the Height of Idiocy for that QB to have his head coach saying things like this about him…

“We’re trying to get Brandon comfortable and settled down,” Miles said, “but I don’t know if that will happen.”

….because reality is Les Miles…either Brandon Harris is by now…

Ready to Play Football or Not Ready to Play Football

…and any random teenager that is fan of the great game of football can see that…

Brandon Harris is just Flat-Out NOT Ready to Play Football!

We don’t have a clue if Purdue transfer QB Danny Etling is the answer to LSU’s offensive woes but we for Damn sure know…

There are at least three dozen 30, 40, and 50 something old former football players that are members at Coaches Hot Seat that are much older than LSU QB Brandon Harris who are right now BETTER quarterbacks than Brandon Harris will EVER be in college and with that in mind…

It’s time for Les Miles to ride Danny Etling to try and get his ass off the Hot Seat because if Brandon Harris is the LSU QB in 2016

….Les Miles will be working on TV in 2017 doing analyst work on games which isn’t a bad gig but for Damn sure it’s not the same as being the head coach of the….

LSU Tigers Football Team!

Can’t you just see Les Miles doing color on a football game on TV = “He really gave him his chest on that play!”

Yes…a win over a decent FCS team in Jacksonville State is nice but let’s not forget that in Les Miles last 20 football games against Power 5 Conference Teams he has a record of…

12 – 8

…and now over the next four weeks of the season Les Miles and LSU will get to play what is no doubt the most crucial stretch in Miles head coaching career against the following teams:

Mississippi State
At Auburn
Missouri
At Florida

The TRUTH is that if Les Miles loses just 2 of the next 4 games against the above teams the chances of Miles returning to coach at LSU in 2017 drop to around 10% because with 3 losses on the board with still games against..

A Pretty Good Southern Miss team
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

….there is no way in Hell LSU loses fewer than FOUR games in 2016 and from what we have been told if LSU loses more than THREE games this season…

Les Miles is DONE in Baton Rouge

….and even THREE losses might lead to Miles firing come December if one of those losses to Alabama again.

Bottom-Line in the immediate future for Les Miles at LSU:

LSU CANNOT lose at home to Mississippi State on Saturday night….PERIOD!

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2.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – As Gus Malzahn knows Arkansas State has a decent football program that has achieved a lot in recent years with a very small amount of resources especially compared to place like Auburn where Gus Malzahn has…

EVERYTHING HE NEEDS

….to win football games, SEC Conference Titles, and National Championships which brings us to the important numbers as it related to Gus Malzahn at Auburn.

Forget about Gus Malzahn’s first year at Auburn in 2013 which included just Total Fluke wins over both Georgia and Alabama which launched the Tigers into the National Title game and focus instead on the last three seasons…

2014 – 2016

….because the TREND is what is important for Malzahn and over the last three seasons Gus Malzahn’s records at Auburn now stand at:

Overall:  16 – 12

SEC:  6 – 10

Sorry….NO Coach can survive the above win-loss numbers at Auburn over even a short period of time with the amount of money that Auburn Athletics is spending on the Tigers football program which is really not an identifiable number since there is…

NOTHING

…that Gus Malzahn could ask for and not get which means that either Gus Malzahn performs in 2016 or there will be a new head coach of the Auburn Tigers come before the New Year.

Now at 1 – 1 on the season and Gus Malzahn needing from what we have been told in recent days…

“At least 8 wins to keep his job.”

….means that Malzahn and his Tigers will need to find 7 wins out of their remaining 10 games against:

Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

Well…Auburn will certainly beat La. Monroe and Alabama A&M which gives Malzahn…

3 Wins

….which means the Tigers will need to win 5 of their remaining 8 games against…

Texas A&M
LSU
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
At Alabama

…and if you give Auburn a win over Vandy that is…4 wins against the below 7 teams…

Texas A&M
LSU
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
At Georgia
At Alabama

Hell…if Gus Malzahn and Auburn can’t win 4 games against the above 7 teams with the amount of resources and talent that Malzahn has access to then no doubt in our minds….

Gus Malzahn SHOULD be fired shortly after the Iron Bowl against Alabama in late November!

Do you think it’s important for Gus Malzahn and his Tigers to win the next 2 home games against Texas &M and LSU?

You Better Damn Believe Winning Those Two Games Is VERY Damn Important!

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3.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – In his third year at Kentucky with Mark Stoops sitting on records of…

Overall:  12 – 26

SEC:  4 – 21

….and regardless of the size of Stoops buyout the margin of error is becoming smaller and smaller for Bob Stoops younger brother starting with a MUST WIN game against New Mexico State on Saturday in Lexington which with a loss would…

Effectively END the Mark Stoops Era at Kentucky

This is all very Damn simple for Mark Stoops….a defensive coach like Stoops just flat-out CANNOT give up…

44 points to Southern Miss
45 points to Florida

….and keep his job and with New Mexico State beating New Mexico this past weekend there could be a new name for “Waterloo” in the English language…

“Lexington” meaning when an era came to an end in America with this era being the Mark Stoops one at Kentucky!

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4.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Sorry…but in your FOURTH season at a Big Ten school like Purdue you should NOT be losing at home to a team like Cincinnati and with that loss to the Bearcats Darrell Hazell’s records with the Boilermakers drops to…

Overall:  7 – 31

Big Ten:  2 – 22

….and if the current trend continues one would think that Purdue will have a new head football coach come December.

Oh…a good way for Darrell Hazell to stop the “trend” would be for his football team to beat Nevada at home in their next game on September 24 before the Big Ten season gets underway!

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5.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s Boston College football team HAD to beat UMass on Saturday and the Eagles got that win but then we are still talking about…

UMass

….which is about equal to beating a plate of cupcakes on any kitchen counter and that is why Addazio’s BC team needs to keep the ball rolling by beating Virginia Tech on Saturday in Blacksburg with what should be EASY WINS against Wagner and Buffalo looming in Weeks 4 and 5.

We finally got an old Boston friend of ours on the phone this past week and he did some asking around with his Boston College friends on what Addazio has to do to return for the 2017 season as head coach of the BC Eagles and his findings are:

“Win 7 football games….isn’t that pitiful?”

There you have it Steve Addazio…”win 7 football games” in your FOURTH season on the job and you will get a FIFTH season at BC!

As Jed Clampett used to tell Jethro….”Pitiful…Just Pitiful!”

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6.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Paul Haynes Kent State football team lost to North Carolina A&T over the weekend in FOUR overtimes so give the Flashes props for playing hard but with that loss to NC A&T Paul Haynes records at Kent State dropped to…

Overall:  9 – 27

MAC:  6 – 17

….and remember Haynes took over a Flashes team that had won 11 games in 2012 under former KSU head coach Darrell Hazell!

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Hey…there’s a thought! When Darrell Hazell gets his ass fired by Purdue later this year he should come back and coach Kent State where he won 11 games in 2012!

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7.  Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner’s FIU team lost to Maryland on Saturday…

Alert the Press…..NOT!

…and now in his FOURTH season as the head coach at FIU Ron Turner’s records now stand at:

Overall:  10 – 28

CUSA:  7 – 17

Forget Turn Out the Lights the Party’s Over…..this Ron Turner Party at FIU NEVER Got Started!

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8.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – We watched most of the Mississippi State – South Carolina game last night when it was being replayed on one of the ESPN channels and if TRUTH be neither…

MSU or USC looked like very good football teams

….not that Will Muschamp really needs a very good football team in his first season in Columbia because what he needs is SIX wins to get his ass off the Hot Seat and with these games left…

East Carolina
At Kentucky
Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

….can Coach Boom find FIVE more wins among the remaining TEN games?

Well…let’s give USC the UMass and Western Carolina games which means Coach Boom needs THREE more wins out of the remaining EIGHT games…

Hell, if Will Muschamp can’t win THREE of EIGHT football games we will fly to Columbia in early December and fire his ass ourselves!

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9.  Clay Helton, USC – Someone at USC got the message that Clay Helton’s ass will be run out of Los Angeles if the Trojans don’t win a Helluva lot more than SIX games in 2016 and on Saturday USC played with a lot more focus against Utah State winning 45 – 7 and up next is…

Mighty Stanford on The Farm!

For those that follow Stanford Football closely as we do here at Coaches Hot Seat it is historical that Stanford is going for…

7 wins in the last 10 games against USC

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….on Saturday and even with the Trojans struggling it should be a Helluva football game because the Cardinal has a number of problems it needs to fix on both sides of the ball in what is clearly…

A MUST and DESPERATE TO WIN GAME for both Stanford and USC

….which is the kind of football game we love to watch and attend and no doubt there will be two dozen-plus from Coaches Hot Seat on The Farm on Saturday and with that mind…

Let’s Play some USC vs. Stanford Football!

As for Clay Helton the latest we have heard from our USC-alum friends in Los Angeles…

Anything LESS than 8 wins and USC is looking for a new head coach come December and that is straight from someone that could…

Buy and Sell most of Santa Monica this afternoon!

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10.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Kevin Sumlin GOT the start he had to have to begin the 2016 season with wins over UCLA and Prairie View BUT what our A&M-alum family members and friends are watching is Sumlin’s record in SEC Conference play which in his FIFTH season on the job in College Station stands at…

17 – 15

….and the TRUTH is…

If Kevin Sumlin goes 4 – 4 or worse in SEC Conference play in 2016 he is DONE at Texas A&M…PERIOD.

Yes…the Auburn game on Saturday on The Plains is HUGE for both Gus Malzahn and Kevin Sumlin and that’s what makes the game so Damn delicious to those of us in the peanut gallery!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The TENTH Season of Coaches Hot Seat Is Now Underway! – Let’s Play Football!

 

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

It’s been quite awhile since we have typed this so this feels rather good….give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Les Miles, LSU – We waited a day to write the Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Analysis to talk to our good friends in Baton Rouge…who have been struggling mightily in recent weeks….about the Tigers loss to Wisconsin, and needless to say the general feeling from the folks we have talked to down on the bayou now believe they have been taken for a ride and left on the side of the road by Les Miles and more importantly that as one LSU-alum friend told us….

“It’s clear now that Les Miles will take down the LSU football program on the cross of his massive ego!”

An interesting record that we have been tracking here at Coaches Hot Seat is Les Miles’ record against Power 5 Conference Schools since the beginning of the 2014 college football season which after the loss to Wisconsin now stands at….

2014:  5 – 4
2015:  7 – 3
2016:  0 – 1

12 – 8  (.600)

….which is a STUNNING and DISASTROUS record considering the amount of talent that ANY coach can recruit to LSU on a regular basis and that over the past three football seasons the TRUTH is…

LSU has had and now has on campus as much talent as any team in college football….PERIOD!

We asked a good LSU-Cajun friend of ours in Baton Rouge to tell us what is coming down the pike for Les Miles and the Tigers and his response on Tuesday was…

“I don’t know, but if LSU loses to Jacksonville State Les Miles and Cam Cameron will be fired on Saturday night before they leave the athletic offices and Ed Orgeron will be the interim head coach of the Tigers.”

Hmmmm….checking the latest FCS Coaches Rankings from September 5, 2016 Jacksonville State is now ranked…

#5 in the country in FCS Football

…but has what…

10 to 15 times LESS talent than LSU?

Yep…that’s about right and if Jacksonville State does beat LSU on Saturday Les Miles should be fired on the spot before he leaves Tiger Stadium and he should be forced to clean-out his office before he leaves the LSU campus….in our humble opinion….ditto for Cam Cameron.

If LSU does beat Jacksonville State next up is a Mississippi State team at home that just lost to South Alabama and Auburn football program on the road that on offense looks in about much disarray as a team can look above the Pee Wee football level in America!

Speaking of the Auburn Tigers…

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2.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – Beyond the fact that the Clemson offense didn’t look like it had a Damn clue to what it was doing on Saturday night which may or may not have something to do with improved play by the Auburn defense, we here at Coaches Hot Seat just don’t…

Have A Damn Freaking Clue what Gus Malzahn was doing on Saturday night with the Auburn offense and quarterbacks and we have the sneaking suspicion that Gus Malzahn Doesn’t Have A Damn Freaking Clue what he is doing either!

The calculus at Auburn is very easy to understand…

Anything less than 8 wins and Gus Malzahn and more than likely Auburn AD Jay Jacobs are both DONE on The Plains come December and with the loss to Clemson and this schedule left to be played….

Arkansas State
Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

….we only see THREE…MAYBE….FOUR more sure wins left on Auburn’s schedule and giving Gus Malzahn FOUR wins from the remaining 11 games that means the Tigers will have to find FOUR other wins somehow in 2016 and even if the Auburn defense is much improved does anyone think the Tigers offense will be anything but…

The Biggest Damn Disaster in College Football in 2016?

Good Luck to Gus Malzahn and if Auburn loses to Arkansas State at home on Saturday….

Gus Malzahn might very well be fired before he leaves the Auburn campus on Saturday night!

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3.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Both Georgia Tech and Boston College looked like very AVERAGE football teams in their little sojourn to Dublin, Ireland to play a football game, and if there is one thing that Steve Addazio cannot afford in 2016 is for his Eagles football team to be AVERAGE again and with that loss to the Yellow Jackets Addazio is now facing the BIGGEST game of his tenure at BC this Saturday in an away game against…

UMass

With a road game at Virginia Tech up next there is the real chance that…

Steve Addazio could be fired on Saturday evening if his BC Eagles lose to UMass and in our opinion in his FOURTH season at Boston College if Addazio should lose to UMass on Saturday…

Steve Addazio SHOULD be fired on Saturday night!

Just for the record Steve Addazio’s records in FOUR seasons at BC now stand at:

Overall:  17 – 22

ACC:  8 – 17

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4.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – The MOST shocking number in the Southern Miss win over Kentucky by the score of…

44 – 35

…was that Southern Miss scored 44 points on Kentucky in Mark Stoops 37 th game as the head coach of the Wildcats and Mark Stoops is supposed to know something about defense…right?

RIGHT!

Here’s the ugly reality for Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats right now:

If Southern Miss can score 44 points on Kentucky then even some of the anemic offense in the SEC will be able to hang 30 points on the Wildcats this season and we have some news for fans of UK Football…

Kentucky will not be able to score 30+ points on offense in 2016 against SEC-level defenses…PERIOD!

Up next for Kentucky after that nothing less than…

A Total Freaking Disaster of a Loss to Southern Miss

At Florida

The reality is that the expectations are so low for Kentucky Football right now both inside and outside the Kentucky Athletic Department that Mark Stoops could probably get away with not getting to 6 wins in 2016 in his FOURTH year on the job, but we rather doubt that Mark Stoops could survive less than 5 wins this season even if his buyout is $10 Million Plus Dollars as has been reported in the Kentucky media.

With Florida, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi State, Georgia, Tennessee, and Louisville still left on Kentucky’s schedule and with that loss to Southern Miss there is the very REAL chance Kentucky wins FOUR or less games in 2016 and if that happens in Mark Stoops FOURTH season at UK then this is all very simple:

The Mark Stoops era at Kentucky is OVER….PERIOD!

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5.  Clay Helton, USC – The first call from a USC-alum friend of ours came during the week of The Masters in April and that call went something like this….

“The USC Football program is in total disarray….I was just over there and it’s like no one is in charge of anything.”

Since then the calls from USC-alum friends our of the same vain kept coming and then in August we got a call from an USC-alum friend of ours that also happens to be a surgeon and who is thus busy as Hell who says on the phone…

“I think this season is going to be a Complete F-ing Disaster for USC!”

After the 52 – 6 Total Damn Debacle against Alabama when the USC Football Team basically…

Did Not Show Up in the Second Half of the game against Bama

….the “Complete F-ing Disaster” of a season is officially underway and up next for Clay Helton and the Trojans is Utah State in the Coliseum on Saturday and if the Trojans should lose this game at home with a road game against Stanford up next…

Clay Helton might not make it to the SIXTH game of the season against Colorado as the head coach of the Trojans!

One thing we know for Damn Sure…

It’s a Total Damn Embarrassment for USC and the Pac-12 Conference that in our opinion…

USC Football Gave-Up and QUIT against Alabama in the second-half on Saturday

…and if the Trojans QUIT and lose to Utah State on Saturday Clay Helton MUST be fired right after the game…PERIOD!

By the way….in Two-Plus Seasons at USC now…Clay Helton’s record after the loss to Alabama…

6 – 5!

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6.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Kevin Sumlin must have seen his coaching career flash before his eyes in the fourth quarter against UCLA on Saturday because to lose to the Bruins in that way….meaning in letting UCLA come back and win the game after the Aggies were way up…would have been the WORST scenario for Sumlin who is flat-out right now on…

A Knife’s Edge relative to his job status in College Station

…and who cannot afford ANY train crashes in 2016, and with that in mind and with the win over the Bruins now in the books the only thing that matters now is somehow…someway for the Aggies to get to…

8-Plus Wins in 2016

…because ANYTHING less than 8-Plus Wins in 2016 for the Aggies and Kevin Sumlin’s head coaching career will come to screeching halt come December!

Let’s look at what A&M has left on their schedule:

Prairie View
At Auburn
Arkansas – Dallas
At South Carolina
Tennessee
At Alabama
New Mexico State
At Mississippi State
Ole Miss
Texas – San Antonio
LSU

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Well…Kevin Sumlin and his Aggies SHOULD be able to find 7 more wins in their last 11 games….with THREE Cupcakes on their plate…which means A&M only needs to go .500 in SEC play so…

There really are NO more excuses…right Kevin Sumlin?

RIGHT!

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7.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – The expectations for Purdue football are at such a low level now that Darrell Hazell could probably get away with win 4 or 5 wins in his FOURTH season on the job and get a FIFTH season which is…

So Damn Freaking Pitiful

….since we remember well the Joe Tiller years at Purdue BUT with that opening season win over Cupcake Eastern Kentucky the Boilermakers still have these teams to play in 2016…

Cincinnati
Nevada
At Maryland
At Illinois
Iowa
At Nebraska
Penn State
At Minnesota
Northwestern
Wisconsin
At Indiana

…and if Purdue can’t get to 4 or 5 wins with what they have left then Darrell Hazell SHOULD be fired but then if we were the AD at Purdue we would have told Hazell before the season something like…

“This is your fourth season at Purdue Darrell and it’s either six wins and a bowl or we are moving on to another coach in December. Now Good Luck to you Son.”

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8.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – The way Fresno State has played the last few years we gave the Bulldogs little chance to beat Nebraska in Lincoln on Saturday and not surprisingly the Huskers won the game 43 – 10 which runs Tim DeRuyter’s record over the last THREE seasons at Fresno to…

9 – 18

…which is the kind of record that will get your ass fired at Fresno State and why in 2016 it’s either…

Six Wins Plus in 2016

…or the Tim DeRuyter-era at Fresno State will be over shortly after the Bulldogs last game against San Jose State on November 26.

Up next for Fresno State is Sacramento State which should be a WIN and then a critical road game at Tulsa which Tim DeRuyter and his Bulldogs will NEED to win with a lot of tough Mountain West Conference games still on their schedule.

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9.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The Pitiful Reality of Tennessee Football in Butch Jones FOURTH season on the job is that in the first game of the 2016 season at home against a team in Appalachian State which the Vols have at least FOUR to FIVE more times talent than….

The Tennessee Football Team was just NOT ready to play

…and having your team ready to play is the responsibility of the head coach Butch Jones and by all rights…

Appalachian State SHOULD have beaten Tennessee

…which would have put Butch Jones at the top of the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings even ahead of the…

Total Damn Disaster that is Les Miles in Baton Rouge!

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Forget about the Battle of Bristol and the show that will accompany a football game being played at a NASCAR track because the TRUTH is…

Butch Jones is coaching the biggest game of his coaching career on Saturday against Virginia Tech

…because if Virginia Tech which won SIX games in 2016 and has a first-year head coach in Justin Fuente can beat Tennessee in Butch Jones FOURTH year on the job then…

What exactly is the point of Butch Jones being the head coach at Tennessee?

There is NONE is the answer to that question!

Forget about the game against Florida in Knoxville on September 24…because if Butch Jones and his Vols lose this game to Virginia Tech on Saturday….

The Entire Damn Vol Nation is going to IMPLODE and Butch Jones will be sitting on the Hottest Seat in America!

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10.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – With Kent State’s expected loss to Penn State in the opening game Paul Haynes record at Kent State now stands at:

Overall:  9 – 27

MAC:  6 – 17

Yes…those kind of records will get you fired at Kent State and before the Golden Flashes travel to play at Alabama on September 24 Paul Haynes and his football team REALLY need to win their next two games against…

North Carolina A&T
Monmouth

Good Luck Paul Haynes!