Tag Archive: Jimbo Fisher

2019 Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Mr. Cash…We Have Some Lazy As Hell Coaches Making Millions….Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

It’s hard to believe that we now have 7 weeks in the books of the 2019 College Football Season but here we are and let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – There is a deeply troubling problem in college football today and that problem is Athletic Directors that listen to the agents of coaches telling that they should consider “X Coach” for “Y Job” and there is not an Athletic Director with a 2+ IQ that would possibly listen to a coach’s agent on anything beyond telling him what the school was willing to offer a coach and yet here we are….

Lovie Smith is the head football coach of the University of Illinois football team and in 4 years on the job Lovie has posted records of >

Overall:  11 – 31

Big Ten:  4 – 26

Why exactly Lovie Smith was hired as the head coach at Illinois when he spent the vast majority of his coaching career in the NFL is hard for us to fathom unless you understand this >

There are a Helluva Lot of Stupid As Hell Athletic Directors that actually listen to the agents of coaches when making coach hiring decisions.

Memo to You Stupid As Hell Athletic Directors and You Know Who You Are: YOU decide who you are going to hire as the head coach of your football program and then call the agent to set-up an interview and don’t listen to agents…agents are salesman and only want you to hire the coach and if your ass gets rolled by a coach’s agent that leads you to hiring a coach that his not remotely qualified to coach your school’s football team do you know what that makes you?

Stupid As Hell!

Getting back to Lovie Smith who was not remotely qualified to be a college head football coach the Illini are now 2 – 4 on the season after the loss to Michigan and those 2 wins are over >

Akron
UConn

What is the combined record of Akron and UConn you ask?

1 – 11

Oh…Lovie Smith wasn’t when he was hired and is not today remotely qualified to be a college head football coach…PERIOD!

At 2 – 4 the Illini have left to play in 2019 >

Wisconsin
At Purdue
Rutgers
At Michigan State
At Iowa
Northwestern

Save Rutgers and Northwestern which the Little Sisters of the Poor, Blind, and Deaf football team could beat the Illini will not win another game in 2019 and that makes the best case scenario for Lovie Smith in his 4th year on the job at Illinois >

4 – 8

Oh….Lovie Smith is not today and NEVER will be remotely qualified to be a head coach in college football….as for the NFL…we would probably give Lovie a look if we at a place had decent defensive players but in college?

Forget about it!

2.  Clay Helton, USC – We thought Georgia was a decent football team which Notre Dame gave a good game but after finding out that Georgia is coached by someone in Kirby Smart that is Lazy As Hell and is unwilling to get his football team ready to play football for a home SEC game in our humble opinion…more on Lazy As Hell Kirby Smart in a moment….maybe the Irish aren’t that great and maybe USC isn’t very good either…but then we already knew that!

Here are the Facts of Life at USC: As a new head football coach you have about 15 games to get things at USC rolling and Clay Helton starting off 12 – 3 in this first 15 games at USC in his first two full years on the job was pretty good but in Helton’s last 19 games he has now posted a record of….

8 – 11

Sorry but an 8 – 11 record in any stretch of losing games over a 5+ game stretch at USC is Totally Damn Unacceptable and when you get the USC football program rolling you either keep the USC football program rolling or you will be fired as soon as it stops rolling and USC football…is almost at a Complete Stop now!

USC is now 3 – 3 on the season and have left to play in 2019 >

Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
At Arizona State
At California
UCLA

That looks like 2, 3, maybe 4 more wins for USC in 2019 and even 7 – 5 by the Trojans in Clay Helton’s 4th full year on the job means that USC will be looking for a new head football coach come early December but then most everyone knows that by now….don’t you?

We might consider hiring Clay Helton at another school on a lower level and maybe Clay can reinvent himself like Sonny Dykes is doing at SMU right now after getting fired at California and with that in mind Helton is conducting an interview of sorts over these last 6 games for ADs out there that will be looking to hire a coach in a couple of months!

3.  Chad Morris, Arkansas – Arkansas played a decent game against a very average Kentucky football team that has been decimated by losses to the NFL and injuries but came up short again and now Morris’ records at Arkansas stand at:

Overall:  4 – 14

SEC:  0 – 11

Geez…that’s not good but take a look at this Stunning Number >

Going back to the 2012 season when John L. Smith coached the Razorbacks the Arkansas record in SEC Conference play is…wait for it…

13 – 46

That’s right…Arkansas has won 13 SEC Conference games in the last 8 seasons for an average of…

1.33 SEC Conference Wins A Year!

Got that now Kansas AD Jeff Long was nothing short of a Total Disaster for Arkansas Football because Jeff also gets credit for hiring Bobby Petrino who we would not hire to Shovel Shit in South Georgia or even to clean the shovels for the people we might hire to Shovel Shit in South Georgia?

Yep…Jeff Long was just a Total Disaster for Arkansas Football and we don’t expect any different at Kansas!

Getting back to Chad Morris and the 2019 Arkansas Razorbacks the 2 – 4 Hogs have left in 2019 >

Auburn
Alabama
Mississippi State
Western Kentucky
At LSU
Mizzou

Mississippi State is totally imploding so that could be a Win but Western Kentucky is playing pretty good football now under Clay Helton’s brother Tyson so what….Arkansas will finish with a 3 or 4 win season maybe under Chad Morris?

Got nothing short of a Freaking Disaster in Fayetteville?

Yep!

4.  Chip Kelly, UCLA – As one UCLA alum buddy of ours described the feeling among the UCLA folks he knows about the Bruins football program >

“It feels like we have been circling a black hole for awhile now knowing that the black hole is going to suck us in and we just wish it would go ahead and crush us to atoms and get it over with because what’s going on right now is nothing short of Hell!”

That Hell looks like this with Chip Kelly’s current records at UCLA:

Overall:  4 – 14

Pac-12:  4 – 8

The good news is that the 1 – 5 Bruins play Stanford this coming Thursday night and if they can score 30+ points they just might be able to get a second win in 2019 but with these games remaining….

Stanford
Arizona State
Colorado
At Utah
At USC
California

…if the Bruins don’t beat Stanford we don’t see them winning another game this season.

Looks like the entry into that black hole could be coming soon and not a moment too soon!

We will be hosting some our UCLA buddies on The Farm this coming week on Thursday night for the Bruins – Cardinal game and it will be fascinating to see what direction things should go if things continue to fall apart in Westwood and the Stanford game will be the game that will Tell The Tale so Let’s Play Some Football on Thursday night!

5.  Joe Moorhead, Mississippi State – We were quite alarmed when we saw Kansas State totally manhandle Mississippi State earlier this year in Starkville but after losses to Auburn and now a Tennessee team that lost to Georgia State and BYU we don’t think one could find a Softer Team in America than these Bulldogs who look to us like the Ultra Charmin that you pay a couple of extra bucks for in the grocery store!

Joe Moorhead or Fordham Joe as he is known around Coaches Hot Seat because of Joe’s 4 years coaching the Rams where he posted a decent record of 38 – 13….but then the Patriot League isn’t the SEC and that’s the problem here…isn’t it?

Fordham Joe’s records at Mississippi State now stand at…

Overall:  11 – 8

SEC:  5 – 6

…and the 3 – 3 Bulldogs still have to play in 2019 games against >

LSU
At Texas A&M
At Arkansas
Alabama
Abilene Christian
Ole Miss

Of course the SEC has a Big Fat Cupcake right before the rivalry game for Mississippi State so the Bulldogs will get 4 wins and they should be able to beat Arkansas which lost to San Jose State at home but where will they get at other win to get at least…

I am Average As Hell and Bowl Eligible at 6 – 6?

We don’t know and if Fordham Joe doesn’t win 6 games in his 2nd year after taking over a Top 25 Mississippi State program from Dan Mullen then in our opinion Fordham Joe AND anyone and everyone involved in bringing him to Starkville should be FIRED!

Just our humble opinion!

6.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – BYU is such a secretive institution and our Mormon friends are not really into gossip or running down their coach to non-Mormons but we can tell you they are frustrated and a little down after BYU went to Tampa and lost to a really average South Florida team this past Saturday and now Cougs head coach Kalani Sitake’s record at BYU stands at:

Overall:  22 – 23

Not good…not good at all…and now the 2 – 4 Cougs have games left in 2019 of…

Boise State
At Utah State
Liberty
Idaho State
At UMass
At San Diego State

If you can’t beat South Florida then you are not beating Boise State and more than likely not beating Utah State…nor Liberty probably…nor San Diego State and that means that the record in 2019 is going to look like 4 – 8, or 5 – 7, or 6 – 6 and this is Kalani Sitake’s 4th year at BYU.

Not good…not good at all.

7.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – It was reported over the weekend that if Willie Taggart is fired after this season that he will be owed $17 Million-Plus Dollars by FSU and we cannot help but wonder >

Who in the Hell was interested in hiring Willie Taggart after one season at Oregon where he posted a 7 – 6 record to justify Willie getting such a lucrative contract?

The answer to that question would be NO ONE which brings us to this >

Just how Damn Stupid are the people at Florida State University to agree to such a deal?

Very Damn Stupid People is the answer to that question and that is important because FSU just got beat 45 – 14 by Clemson to fall to 3 – 3 on the season and they have games left against…

At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Miami
At Boston College
Alabama State
At Florida

Alabama State will be a win…we think…so can FSU find 2 more wins out of those remaining 5 games to at least get to…

I am Average As Hell and Bowl Eligible at 6 – 6?

If not it would be worth every penny of that $17M+ to fire Willie Taggart!

8.  Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – Tennessee finally got a win over an FBS team on Saturday but then that was over Mississippi State and there are at least a dozen junior college football teams that could travel to Starkville and whip the Hell out of the Mississippi State Charmin Non-Bulldogs so it’s back to Big Boy Football with these games coming up for the 2 – 4 Vols >

At Alabama
South Carolina
UAB
At Kentucky
At Mizzou
Vanderbilt

There are a few hundred high school football teams in America that could whip Vandy so that should be a win but will Tennessee win another game in 2019 besides Vandy?

Maybe…maybe they can beat South Carolina, UAB, or Kentucky….but maybe not as well and there’s the problem…

No one really knows what to make of Tennessee Football and that’s because there’s no one LEADING Tennessee Football right now….in our humble opinion!

9.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – The following comment from a Houston resident and long-time Texas A&M alum sums up the feeling of many Aggies with Jimbo Fisher 19 games into his tenure in College Station >

“We did not agree to give Jimbo $75 million dollars for him to be Kevin Sumlin-lite and right now it looks like this football program is going backwards not forwards from where it was under Sumlin.”

Hmmmm…..so Jimbo Fisher has now coached Texas A&M for 19 games and his overall record stands at…

12 – 7

And Kevin Sumlin’s record after 19 games coaching the Aggies was….

16 – 3

Please now…can someone tell us why in the Hell that Texas A&M is paying Jimbo Fisher $7.5 million dollars a year when they could hired any Stumblebum that fell of a train going thru College Station and he too also after getting a shower, a hot meal or two, and some hot coffee could have also be sitting on record after 19 games of…

12 – 7?

Oh…what about Jimbo’s record in SEC play in Aggieland >

6 – 5

And Kevin Sumlin’s record in SEC play after 11 games with the Aggies was…

8 – 3

Come now…let’s cut the Horseshit on Jimbo Fisher and start holding accountable all the folks that thought they were geniuses in bring Jimbo to College Station which it seems that some Aggies are starting to realize with our buddy also saying about Jimbo if he doesn’t get things rolling and rolling soon >

“If Jimbo cannot even hit Sumlin’s win/loss marks then we will run him right out of College Station and Jimbo’s legacy will be the total dumpster fire he left behind in Tallahassee and then getting his ass run out of Aggieland.”

The 3 – 3 Aggies now have left on their schedule games against…

At Ole Miss
Mississippi State
Texas San Antonio
South Carolina
At Georgia
At LSU

Can the Aggies even find 3 more wins this season?

Maybe…Maybe Not…but if A&M doesn’t win 6 games in 2019 then Jimbo Fisher will be given a check and 30 minutes to get his shit together and get his ass out of College Station and thus we highly recommend Jimbo beat Ole Miss in Oxford on Saturday or it’s gonna get Mighty Damn Uncomfortable in Aggieland!

Oh that $60M left on Jimbo’s contract…evidently our Aggie buddies could raise that in less than 15 minutes and Jimbo would be on his way!

10.  Kirby Smart, Georgia – We have contacts at about 50 FBS schools around America and we have a good friend that works at the University of Georgia going back to the earliest days of Mark Richt’s tenure in Athens and this fellow has passed along a lot of great info on Georgia Football over the years….and 95% of it we have never written about…at least directly….but we talked to our Athens buddy last week and he says to us…

“It feels like Kirby and the football team are just going through the motions this week not that it will matter against South Carolina. Aren’t we like 21 point favorites or something in this game?”

Yep….Georgia was a 21 point favorite at home against South Carolina and in our humble opinion…

Kirby Smart and his coaches took last week off thinking they could easily beat South Carolina and it is also our opinion that Smart had no interest in laying a beatdown on his good friend Will Muschamp and it was THAT that led to Georgia getting its ass handed to them on their homefield which means…

Kirby Smart totally failed himself, the University of Georgia, the fans of Georgia Football, and most importantly the Georgia Football team because he was a Lazy Ass last week…in our humble opinion…and didn’t properly get his team ready to play South Carolina.

Now…we just did a comparison between Kevin Sumlin and Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M so let’s look at a comparison between Mark Richt and Kirby Smart thru 48 games at Georgia >

Kirby Smart = 37 – 11

Mark Richt = 39 – 9

Hmmmm….so Mark Richt was fired to hire Kirby Smart and Smart has a worse record than Richt and more importantly…

His Lazy Ass just took a week off and he didn’t get his team ready to play a 21-point underdog in a game at home….in our humble opinion?

Yep!

What does Georgia have with Kirby Smart exactly?

To us it looks like they have a very good recruiter who makes a Helluva Lot of Gameday mistakes and Preparation mistakes and now the pressure is really about to be turned up with Georgia having perhaps the most talent in America and the 5 – 1 Bulldogs have left in 2019 >

Kentucky
Florida – Jacksonville
Missouri
At Auburn
Texas A&M
At Georgia Tech

Will Kirby Smart have Georgia ready to play Kentucky on Saturday or the games against Florida, Mizzou, Auburn, Texas A&M, at Georgia Tech?

No one knows…and that’s the problem and if Georgia does drop 1 or 2 more games down the stretch with a Massive Talent Advantage in every one of those games then someone in Athens will have to ask the question >

Why in the Hell is Kirby Smart the head football coach at Georgia?

Gus Malzahn Is Sitting On One of the Hottest Seats in College Football Entering the 2016 College Football Season….and Should Be After What Was Nothing Less Than A Complete Freaking Disaster For Auburn Football In 2015! – Our Contact “Around” Auburn Lays Out the Reality That Now Faces Gus Malzahn AND Auburn AD Jay Jacobs = 2016 Is A Critical Year For BOTH Men! – Good Luck Gus!

 

OK…we West Coasters at Coaches Hot Seat will admit it…

We are loving us some SEC Football

….and since the late 1980s when a few Coaches Hot Seat members were serving in the US Navy in the Jacksonville, Florida area when a couple of us first ran into the Head Ball Coach Steve Spurrier at a Florida practice in Gainesville we have been lucky enough to have seen 100+ SEC football games in person, and there is not a more passionate place that loves their football more than at…

Auburn University!

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Yes….the folks at Alabama love their football team BUT not more than the folks at Auburn love theirs and that is why there is so much distress these days on The Plains because the Mighty Alabama Crimson Tide under Nick Saban has won…

4 of the last 7 National Championships

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….while Auburn has won what exactly?

ONE National Championship since 1957!

Yes…current Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn took the Auburn Tigers to the National Title Game in 2013 after what were nothing less than…

Two Luckier Than Hell Plays Against Georgia and Alabama at the end of the 2013 season

….BUT since Auburn lost to FSU in that 2013-14 Bogus BCS National Title Game one Gus Malzahn has put-up records of….

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….over the last two seasons and we have some news for Gus Malzahn and his immediate family:

If there is not SIGNIFICANT improvement in the Auburn Tigers football team in 2016 Auburn will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now…we here at Coaches Hot Seat being good business folks or what they would call “bidness folks” in the South have always made a point of making lots of contacts during our business endeavors, and that approach has extended to the great game of college football during our 40-plus years of watching this great game, and we now have a group of contacts across college football that we believe rivals anyone….and we happen to have a GREAT contact “around” Auburn who we have been talking to a lot over the past 6 months on the status of one….Gus Malzahn.

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We recently talked again to our contact “around” Auburn and asked him straight-out:

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What does Gus Malzahn have to do in 2016 to keep his job at Auburn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Whoa now boys…no one said Gus Malzahn is about t o be fired…but I will say there is plenty of pink paper in the Auburn athletic offices at the ready if Malzahn and his football team don’t perform this season and a pink slip has to be delivered.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What the Hell does that mean?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well now boys….Jay Jacobs (the Auburn AD) thinks very highly of the Auburn football program and believes it should compete toe-to-toe with Alabama and other SEC heavyweights EVERY year and if Malzahn should have another 8, 7 or Heaven help us 6 win or less season then Jacobs will no doubt have a list of coaches at the ready to make a move later this year.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Any guesses who might be on Jay Jacobs short-list to replace a fired Gus Malzahn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys…you didn’t hear this from me….but if you asked me to guess I would think Jay’s list would include…in order mind you…

Jimbo Fisher
Mark Dantonio
Art Briles
Gary Patterson
Dan Mullen
Tom Herman

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Geez…that’s a pretty strong list of coaches!”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys….if Jay Jacobs has to fire a third head football coach (Tuberville, Chizik, Malzahn) since 2008 you can bet your bottom Dollar this time Jay will go big and be bringing a Heckuva lot of money with him…..meaning Saban-type money.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be $7 million dollars plus per season.”

Auburn Contact:  “Exactly….Auburn cannot make another mistake in hiring its next coach…that is if Jay Jacobs is given the chance to hire the next coach, because if Malzahn should someone not win 6 or more games in 2016 then Jay Jacobs may be fired right before Gus Malzahn is.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be carnage on The Plains.”

Auburn Contact:  “It would be carnage in the family….but sometimes a good housecleaning is needed and Auburn may need that is this season implodes under Gus (Malzahn).”

OK…it seems pretty clear to us that Gus Malzahn is sitting on one of the Hottest Damn Seats in College Football and should be with records the last two seasons at Auburn of…

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….so let’s go the numbers and look at Auburn’s 2016 schedule.

Gus Malzahn, Auburn

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4 th season at South Carolina

Overall Head Coaching Record (Arkansas State + Auburn):  36 – 16

Auburn Head Coaching Record

Overall:  27 – 17

SEC:  13 – 11

Let’s look at Auburn’s 2016 football schedule:

Clemson
Arkansas State
Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

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OK….Bozo the Clown or ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

3 Football Games

….coaching Auburn in 2016 BUT as we look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule which begins with FIVE straight home games we are thinking that Gus Malzahn and his Auburn Tigers better Damn be NO worse than…

4 – 1

…when they travel to play at Mississippi State on October 8 because we see FOUR serious potential losses in Auburn’s last SEVEN games…

At Mississippi State
At Ole Miss
At Georgia
At Alabama

Here’s the problem for Gus Malzahn….in our opinion if Auburn finishes with a record worse than…

8 – 4 overall

5 – 3 in SEC play

….Gus Malzahn is going to be in a Helluva spot when the Alabama game is over on November 26 and if Auburn finishes at…

7 – 5 overall

4 – 4 in SEC play

….in 2016 which would leave Malzahn’s the last THREE seasons at Auburn standing at…

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….then Gus Malzahn is….

DONE at Auburn…PERIOD!

Hell….with 3 games at home against Clemson, Texas A&M, and LSU in the first 5 weeks of the season Gus Malzahn could be DONE at Auburn before October 1 if the Tigers somehow tripped up and lost those 3 CRITICAL games!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Coach YOUR football team YOUR way in 2016 because there’s a very Damn good chance this will be YOUR last year at Auburn unless there is dramatic improvement from the Tigers football team of 2016 which in our opinion was nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

….because when you finish at…

2 – 6 in SEC play

….at Auburn that is just flat-out a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

Good Luck Gus!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

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Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.