Tag Archive: Jimbo Fisher

Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give these Coaches on the Hot Seat Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash

Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give these Coaches on the Hot Seat Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash

Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – In 3 seasons at South Florida Head Coach Jeff Scott now has 4 wins and his lone win in the 2022 season is against Howard and only one of his wins is against an American Athletic Conference foe so that all ain’t good and look at what the Bulls have left in 2022

At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

Will the Bulls win another game this season?

Not likely!

Instead of Jeff Scott asking for “Patience” how about this

Coach Your Damn Football Team Son!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford – The Worthless Candy Ass Tour by the Stanford Cardinal football team continues on under David Shaw with David not having a

Damn Clue of his Total Destruction of Stanford Football

not that Stanford plays the Game of Football anymore since they long ago gave up that game on The Farm!

In the last 4 seasons since David Shaw went Total Damn Pitiful Candy Ass his record is

12 – 22

and the Hits will keep coming because we have little doubt

David Shaw would take down Stanford Football and Stanford University on this

Cross of Idiot Candy Assness

and Laugh, Laugh, Laugh because in our humble opinion

David doesn’t give a Damn about anything but his own Damn Candy Ass!

Be Damn Proud David because few have Destroyed So Much with So Much Total Damn Candy Ass Idiocy!

The Cardinal is now 1 – 3 and has left in 2022

Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At Cal
BYU

Will Stanford win another game this season?

Maybe Not and that says everything about these Worthless Candy Asses on The Farm who are Total Disgrace to Everything that Stanford University claims to stand for or claims to stand for!

3.  Brent Venables, Oklahoma – After seeing Oklahoma get Totally Destroyed by TCU we are not sure what Brent Venables and the Sooners Coaches been doing the last 9 months but your asses either

Haven’t been doing much at all or your asses doing everything wrong Son!

Memo to Brent Venables: Football is a physical game Son and you unless you want to go the same way as David Shaw at Stanford = Worthless Candy Ass Losers you better start hitting in practice because the Game of Football

You actually hit, tackle, and whip other people to Win Football Games!

Oklahoma is now 3 – 2 on the season and has left

Texas
Kansas
At Iowa State
Baylor
At West Virginia
Oklahoma State
At Texas Tech

and this Whole Enchilada could go down and quick if Venables doesn’t right the ship soon starting with a Win over Texas on Saturday!

4.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The Rising Candy Ass of the Midwest is Northwestern Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald who has the Softest Team in Any Sport in the Midwestern United States and before this is over Pat may takedown the Wildcats so much they won’t be able to make a splash jumping into Lake Michigan, they will just slide into the Lake softly, like the Total Candy Asses they are now!

The 1 – 4 Wildcats with a lone win over Pitiful Nebraska have left in 2022

Wisconsin
At Maryland
At Iowa
Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Will Candy Ass Pat and his Candy Ass Cats win another game in 2022?

Not Likely!

Memo to Pat Fitzgerald: Football is a CONTACT SPORT Son so maybe at practice today you can end the Pillow Fights and actually hold a Real Football Practice? Maybe Son?

The Lesson Here for ADs > Don’t Let Total Candy Asses Destroy Your Football Program with Candy Ass Damn Idiocy and at the first Hint of Candy Ass = Fire Their Candy Ass!

5.  Tim Albin, Ohio – With the loss to Kent State on Saturday Tim Albin’s records at Ohio in 2 seasons now sit at

Overall:  5 – 12
MAC:  3 – 6

and the Bobcats have left in 2022:

Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (OH)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

Maybe Ohio will get 4 wins in 2022. Maybe!

6.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Navy played better against Air Force before losing by the score of 13 – 10 and now Kenny’s record the last 3 seasons since he went Total Damn Candy Ass with Navy Football is sitting at

8 – 18

and it may be too late for Kenny Boy to turn this thing about because just like at Stanford and Northwestern and it looks like Oklahoma when you go

Total Damn Candy Ass

it’s really hard to suddenly start playing the Game of Football again!

Navy now at 1 – 3 has left in 2022

Tulsa
At SMU
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

A Normal Navy Football Team actually playing the Game of Football would win at least HALF the above games but these Candy Ass Midshipman

Might win 3. Maybe!

7.  Bryan Harsin, Auburn – As we said when Bryan Harsin was hired at Auburn there was No Damn Reason for Auburn to hire Harsin or for Harsin to take the Auburn job but folks who don’t know Jack about Auburn for the Game of Football in America will do all kinds of Damn Idiocy and here we sit with

Damn Idiocy going on with Bryan Harsin at Auburn!

It’s almost like these folks at do things like hire Bryan Harsin at Auburn just landed from Mars and don’t have a Damn Clue about where they work of the Game of College Football in America! Why is that exactly when they are paid Millions of Dollars to actually know what the Hell they are doing?

Harsin is now 9 – 9 in his second season at Auburn and 3 – 2 on the 2022 season and the Tigers have left this season

At Georgia
At Ole Miss
Arkansas
At Mississippi State
Texas A&M
Western Kentucky
At Alabama

Auburn can win 2 or 3 more games in 2022, maybe even 4 more games, but none of that gonna save Harsin’s job and when they send Harsin packing the folks at Auburn will hire

Another Head Coach who doesn’t fit the Auburn Culture which they have not had since Pat Dye was the Head Coach of the Tigers so No Doubt More Damn Idiocy ahead on The Plains!

8.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – Ole Jimbo has just Totally Lost the Plot in Aggieland and this Whole Enchilada is very close to going over the edge from which there will be No Return!

Through 53 games at Texas A&M guess what were/are both Kevin Sumlin and Jimbo Fisher’s records?

37 – 16

Yep, both Sumlin and Fisher had the same records after 53 games and the Aggies folks were pushing to Run Sumlin’s ass out of Aggieland and if they aren’t now doing the same with Jimbo what exactly is going on in Aggieland now?

The Aggies in 2022 are now at 3 – 2 and have left this season

At Alabama
At South Carolina
Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

Geez, will the Aggies even get 6 wins this season? Probably Not!

9.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – Since we now know that Oklahoma couldn’t whip a Wet Paper Bag this Saturday’s game against the Sooners is a MUST WIN for Sarkisian and the Longhorns because lose in this spot with these game left

Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Ole Sarkisian might not get 6 wins in 2022 and that would nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster and Sark’s ass getting run right out of Austin right after Thanksgiving!

10.  Scott Satterfield, Louisville – With the loss to Boston College on Saturday Scott Satterfield’s records at Louisville now stand at

Overall:  20 – 22
ACC:  12 – 17

and either this thing will turn around soon or there will be a New Head Coach of the Cardinals in 2022!

Louisville is now 2 – 3 on the season and have left

At Virginia
Pitt
Wake Forest
James Madison
At Clemson
NC State
At Kentucky

Damn that’s a Tough slate of games and it ain’t gonna be easy for Louisville to get to 6 Wins in 2022 and no way Satterfield can survive 3 straight losing seasons.

Just No Way!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

The College Football Season is Really Roaring now as we moved right through Week 3 like a knife through warm butter and that’s the nature of life when you get past 50 years old

It just goes Rip Roaring along so make Damn sure you living Every Damn Day!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Before we get to the Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking a word or two on the firing of Herm Edwards at Arizona State

Ole Herm is a Great Guy but come on now

Why was Herm Edwards ever hired at Arizona State?

When you find the answer to the above question please let us know…would you now?

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – Jeff Scott and this USF Bulls almost got a win over the Florida Gators in The Swamp who played like they were hardly coached at all Billy Napier and with another loss Scott’s records at USF now stand at

Overall:  4 – 20
AAC:  1 – 14

Now the Bulls have left

At Louisville
East Carolina
At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

Geez…maybe the Bulls can win 2 or 3 of those games…if they play better than they played against Florida that is!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford – There’s just no explaining Stanford Head Coach David Shaw deciding to turn the Cardinal Football Program from one of the

Toughest Programs in College Football to the Biggest Bunch of Pillow Fight Loving Candy Asses in America

but David has done it and now there really is no longer a Football Program on the Stanford campus and there’s little doubt the

Stanford Chess Club could Whip the Hell out of the Stanford Football Team and…Make Them Like It!

Over the last 4 seasons David Shaw’s record now stands at

12 – 20

and most of those 12 Wins over Sub-.500 teams and now the 1 – 1 Cardinal gets a trip to Husky Stadium in Seattle who are coached by new Head Coach Kalen DeBoer and talk about an Ass Kicking…

The Cardinal are about to….Get Their Asses Kicked by Washington = A Real Football Team!

What’s left for Stanford >

At Washington
At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Probably 3 – 9….Maybe 4 – 8 for Stanford in 2022 and it would take Major Miracle for the Cardinal to get 6 wins which is

Just A Total Damn Disgrace on Every Level Imaginable!

3.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – Karl Dorrell’s Buffs got their asses handed to them on Saturday by Minnesota by the score of

49 – 7

which drops Colorado’s 2022 record to 0 – 3 with games still left against

UCLA
At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

Now in his 3 rd season at Colorado Karl Dorrell should win 7+ games with the above schedule but reality is

The Buffs might not win a game in 2022!

4.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Navy had Week 3 off and Thank Goodness for that because the Midshipmen no doubt needed to have lots of Pillow Fights and High Tea to get ready for the rest of the 2022 season and 0 – 2 Navy has left under Kenny Boy games against

At East Carolina
At Air Force
Tulsa
At SMU
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Will Navy win even 1 game in 2022?

Probably Not!

Back to the Pillow Fights Boys and don’t forget High Team you Damn Candy Asses!

Signed,
15+ US Navy Combat Vets at Coaches Hot Seat Totally Ashamed of what Navy Football has become!

5.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – We didn’t give Arkansas State much chance to win at Memphis on Saturday but they kinda made it a game and with that loss the Red Wolves are now 1 – 2 on the season and Butch Jones records at Arkansas State now stand at

Overall:  3 – 12

Sun Belt:  1 – 7

Arkansas State has left in 2022

At Old Dominion
La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
At Texas State
Troy

There’s a few winnable games left on the Arkansas State schedule but will they get to 6 wins in 2022?

Not A Damn Chance in Hell or Highwater or even Low Water!

6.  Geoff Collins,. Georgia Tech – Getting whipped 42 – 0 by Ole Miss isn’t a recommendation when you looking to hang onto a job but Geoff Collins Georgia Tech team did get whipped by the Rebels 42 – 0 and Collins records in 4 seasons at Tech now stand at

Overall:  10 – 27

ACC:  7 – 19

The Yellowjackets have left in 2022

At UCF
At Pitt
Duke
Virginia
At Florida State
At Virginia Tech
Miami
At North Carolina
At Georgia

Turn out the Lights

7.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – We finally found an offense more inept than Jimbo Fisher’s Aggies offense

The Miami Offense = What A Total Disaster It Is Mario!

and luckily for Jimbo Ole Mario Cristobal has his hands in the Canes offense just like he did at Oregon which F-Up the Ducks offense totally and it looks like that’s continuing in Miami!

Back to Jimbo who got a Total Gift from the Canes on Saturday to move the Aggies record to 2 – 1 on the season with these games left

Arkansas in Dallas
At Mississippi State
At Alabama
At South Carolina
Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

Geez…the Aggies loses to the Razorbacks on Sunday they might not win another game until they host UMass on November 19!

Our guess is the Aggies win 4 or 5 of their remaining games to finish at 6 – 6 or 7 – 5 and that would be $38 Million Dollars paid to Jimbo Fisher to do something that

Bozo the Clown coulda done for $100K a year = $500K Total!

8.  Scott Satterfield, Louisville – With the loss to Florida State on Saturday to drop the Louisville record to 1 – 2 on the season that leaves Satterfield’s record at Louisville now at

Overall:  19 – 21

ACC:  12 – 16

That’s Pitiful…Damn Pitiful and Louisville has left in 2022

South Florida
At Boston College
Virginia
Pitt
Wake Forest
James Madison
At Clemson
NC State
At Kentucky

Maybe Louisville can get to 6 wins in 2022 but should Satterfield’s 4 th season at Louisville be about Maybe getting to 6 wins?

Nope!

9.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – A couple of weeks ago we thought that Northwestern beating Nebraska was something but now we know

A Wet Paper Sack could be the Huskers

and now Pat Fitzgerald team loses at home in back-to-back games to

Duke
Southern Illinois

Whatever they are paying Pat Fitzgerald at Northwestern if it’s over 10 cents per game it’s way Damn too much because this is just a

Total Damn Disgrace

and couldn’t have happened to a Bigger Ass who believes his ass spun up the entire Universe when his ass hasn’t worked a day in his Pitiful Life off the Northwestern campus and he couldn’t run a lemonade stand in downtown Evanston on the best Damn day of his Damn life!

If you are going to be a Total Damn Arrogant Ass Patty Boy

Win some Damn Football Games Son and don’t lose…wait for it…to

Southern Illinois at home Son!

10.  Tim Albin, Ohio – Since taking over a Pretty, Pretty Good football program from Frank Solich at Ohio Ole Tim Albin has now posted records of

Overall:  4 – 11

MAC:  3 – 5

and now at 1 – 2 on the year the Bobcats have left in 2022

Fordham
At Kent State
Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (Ohio)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

What…3 or 4 more wins tops for Ohio in 2022?

Whatever…it ain’t good!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thanks Mr. Cash!

There’s a lot we could write here about Nebraska firing Scott Frost but in 4+ seasons Frost was…

16 – 31  .340

….and Mike Riley in 3 seasons at Nebraska had a record of…

19 – 19  .500

By all rights Frost shoulda been fired after last season but he had a $20M+ buyout and now his buyout $16M+ after getting run and clearly…

Scott Frost had to be fired!

…for lots of reasons but mainly because watching the Huskers play their first 3 games in 2022….

They look hardly coached at all!

What a Helluva Week and for all those Damn Morons who claimed that NIL + Transfer Portal was going to benefit the…

Biggest Most Powerful Football Programs

…and what your Damn Moron Asses got to say about..

Marshall over Notre Dame
Appy State over Texas A&M

…not to mention a few other upsets that raised our eyebrows and for those you don’t know…

Coaching > Roster Talent

….which maybe one day your asses will wake-up too because lots these College Football Head Coaches…

Don’t Have A Damn Clue what they are doing!

Come on out Mr. Cash and give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – If you want to see a football team that has Totally Tuned out their Head Coach + Assistant Coaches put on tape of the Appy State at Texas A&M game from Saturday and you will see…

Lots of Aggies players playing at 50% or Less Effort who don’t give 1 Damn Rip what Jimbo Fisher says, does, or Damn anything else for that matter!

We been telling anyone that will listen that Jimbo Fisher has created a Helluva Problem in Aggieland by becoming King Jimbo and not being involved with Players on a daily basis and that reality has now reached Gameday and we could be looking at a Total Tailspin and Massive Crash & Burn with the Aggies if they lose another game and….

Here comes the Miami Hurricanes under new Head Coach Mario Cristobal to Aggieland which gonna pop the Aggies in the mouth and make em like it!

Lose to Miami in this spot with Arkansas in Dallas on deck and then this schedule…

At Mississippi State
At Alabama
At South Carolina
Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

…Jimbo and the Aggies be Damn Lucky to win 6 games in 2022 and Jimbo wins less than 8 Wins this season according to our Aggies alum buddies…

“We are going to run Jimbo’s ass right out of the State of Texas forget about just College Station!”

Most Amazing Thing about Aggies loss to Appy State on Saturday is that was…wait for it…

Jimbo Fisher’s 50 th Freaking Football Game Coaching Texas A&M and that is what he has built in 50 games…what he put on the field against the Mountaineers?

How can Jimbo Fisher even go into work and collect a paycheck after that Total Horseshit Crapola he and the Aggies Coaches put on the field Saturday?

Shameful comes to mind but it’s worse than that…this is Borderline Flat-Out Quitting As Coaches!

If the Aggies don’t show up against Miami on Saturday then Jimbo and the entire Aggies staff should be fired and bring in some Pee Wee Coaches to coach the Aggies who actually Give A Damn and will get A&M ready to play football games!

We may just have 2 College Football Programs passing each other at Kyle Field on Saturday….

Miami headed UP

Texas A&M headed back to the Dumpster on Fire going down river!

Dumpster Fire GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

2.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – With a Win over Howard on Saturday Ole Jeff Scott has now won….wait for it…4 games at USF in 3 seasons and Ole Scott may not win another game for awhile >

At Florida
At Louisville
East Carolina
At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

We be stunned if USF won more than 1 more game in 2022….Totally Stunned!

3.  David Shaw, Stanford – If not for Lincoln Riley calling off the Trojans Offense against Stanford in the 2 nd half USC would have easily scored 100+ points on David Shaw’s Cardinal which really is no longer a…

Football Team or Football Program

It’s just now….Damn Nothing!

Disgraceful come to mind

Pitiful comes to mind

But what really comes to mind is that the Super Duper Tea Party Candy Ass Football Program that David Shaw has allowed Stanford Football to become is a…

Total Disgrace to Stanford University and to the Game of Football in America!

This isn’t Football that is Stanford is playing….it’s Sub Tiddly-Winks with Candy Asses everywhere you look that couldn’t punch there way out of a wet paper sack on the best Damn day of their lives!

Now at 1 – 1 Shaw and Stanford have left…

At Washington
At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Geez…what now…Stanford might win 4 games total in 2022? Maybe…if they are Damn Lucky!

It’s Just A Damn Freaking Disgrace!

4.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – On Saturday Karl Dorrell coached his 20 the game as the Head Coach at Colorado against Air Force and…wait for it…

The Buffs got TOTALLY DESTROYED by the score of 41 – 10!

Why exactly Karl Dorrell was hired at Colorado we will never know because the hire made…

No Damn Sense if your ass actually watched Karl coach at UCLA

AND/OR

Your ass has a 2+ IQ!

Karl Dorrell is a terrific guy and human being and we wish his ass was winning at Colorado but this….

Is A Damn Disgrace to the University of Colorado and Football in America!

Now at 0 – 2 on the season the Buffs have left in 2022…

At Minnesota
UCLA
At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

Geez…the Buffs might not win a game in 2022!

We’ll go 2 – 10 record for Colorado in 2022 as a guess and our humble opinion!

5.  Scot Loeffler, Bowling Green – With the loss to FCS Eastern Kentucky on Saturday Bowling Green Head Coach Scot Loeffler’s records in 4 seasons at the school are now…

Overall:  7 – 24
MAC:  4 – 17

Nothing else needs to said or written on Loeffler!

6.  Marcus Freeman, Notre Dame – We have been watching Notre Dame Football since the early 1970s and since the Irish play USC and Stanford every season we have seen lots of Notre Dame games in person in South Bend, Los Angeles, Palo Alto, and at bowl games and here’s what we know about Notre Dame Football!

No one with a 2+ IQ and/or has watched 1 Down of Football in their lives on any Damn level would hire…

Someone to be the Head Coach at Notre Dame unless they have been a SUCCESSFUL College Head Coach before!

Hiring an Assistant Coach at Notre Dame who never even sniffed a Head Coaching Job forget about being SUCCESSFUL in that job is…

Total and Complete Stupidity and Level of Human Ignorance that goes beyond the 2003 Iraq War which only a…

Total Damn Moron would have launched and George W. Bush is one of the Stupidest Bastards we ever run into and we known W since the early 1980s!

Memo to Marcus Freeman since your ass knows NOTHING about being Head Coach Son >

Your ONLY JOB Son is to deliver your football team to Gameday….wait for it…

READY TO PLAY FOOTBALL!

We are not talking about having a Great Gameplan and making sure your football team is ready on the physical side to play the game….Any Damn Moron Coach can do that if he has a 2+ IQ…we are talking about something far more important Son…

Making Damn Sure Your Football Team is READY To Play the Game!

The Irish on Saturday were…

NOT READY TO PLAY Marshall and that…

WAS YOUR ONLY DAMN JOB KID which your ass is being paid Millions of Dollars to do and if you can’t do that Son guess what…

Your Ass Is Going To Get Run…and after Season 1!

This is the Damn Leagues Son not Podunk U so Get Off Your Damn Ass and Coach the Notre Dame Football Team and don’t you dare lose to California on Saturday….or your ass might get run right after the game!  Kidding of course now…but highly recommend you don’t lose to Cal because if you do Son the folks with the $$$ around Notre Dame gonna start talking about putting a pot of $$$ together to buy you and Jack out!  

7.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – The Complete Destruction of Navy Football continues under Ken Niumatalolo with a loss to Memphis by 3+ touchdowns on Saturday and in the last 3 seasons Kenny Boy has put up records of…

3 – 7
4 – 8
0 – 2

…and we don’t see any end in sight of this Total Damn Madness and Complete Destruction of Navy Football…until Ken and his Candy Ass Football is…

Banished from the US Naval Academy….FOREVER!

End This Damn Idiocy already!

8.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – With the Arkansas State loss to Ohio State by score of 45 – 12 on Saturday Butch Jones records at ASU now stand at…

Overall:  3 – 11

Sun Belt:  1 – 7

…and the Sun Belt just proved it’s No Damn Joke on Saturday so with these games left…

At Memphis
At Old Dominion
La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
Texas State
Troy

…..it ain’t gonna be easy to get the Red Wolves to 6 wins in 2022 and the Arkansas State folks are exactly patient with coaches that don’t get them to at least 6 wins every season!

9.  Geoff Collins, Georgia Tech – The Yellow Jackets beat Western Carolina on Saturday which is Geoff Collins…

10 th Win in 4 seasons at Georgia Tech

…and with these games left on the schedule…

Ole Miss
At UCF
At Pitt
Duke
Virginia
At Florida State
At Virginia Tech
Miami
At North Carolina
At Georgia

….it ain’t exactly like there are lots of Wins left on Tech’s schedule now!

We’ll guess 4 – 8 and see if Collins can beat our guess!

10.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – Sometimes you gotta wonder about a Coach like Sarkisian calling pass plays from inside the 5 yard-line with a Freshman QB on the field that ends up getting the Freshman QB injured and out of a game where he’s playing some good football, but these are things that…

Great Coaches Think About and A Great Coach

…is not Damn throwing the ball from the 2-yard line and getting his Freshman QB hurt when playing Alabama when you had to know Bama would be coming after his ass!

We really also don’t have Damn Clue what Alabama OC Bill O’Brien was doing on Saturday who easily called one of the…

Worst Offensive Games in recent College Football History

…throwing the ball lots when Alabama could have used their running game to pound Texas and hang onto the football but…

Arrogant Asses have to prove their Ass can do something and Billy Boy called lots of pass plays to prove what exactly…that his ass could?

In a game Alabama should have won by 2+ Touchdowns on Billy Boy with Little Nicky listening in on the headset called Dumb Play after Dumb Play and if Texas could tackle as well as Aunt Mildred they easily beat Alabama or if Sark would just…

Run the Damn Ball at the Endzone he doesn’t get his Freshman QB hurt and Texas wins the game!

Stupid…Just Plain Stupidity on both side of this Bama – Horns game!

Now at 1 – 1 when Texas should be 2 – 0 and rolling with a win over Alabama the Horns have left in 2022…

UTSA
At Texas Tech
West Virginia
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Texas could easily lose to UTSA at home and the rest of those games are No Damn Joke either including at Kansas so don’t think that just because Sark and Texas gave Alabama a good game…remember now..

Billy Boy O’Brien Dumber than Anyone on Earth…well not as Dumb as George W Bush now

….that they will roll rest of the 2022 because their asses could easily lose 5+ games this season and that happens…

Watch Out Now because Sark’s ass is getting run!

2019 Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Mr. Cash…We Have Some Lazy As Hell Coaches Making Millions….Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

It’s hard to believe that we now have 7 weeks in the books of the 2019 College Football Season but here we are and let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – There is a deeply troubling problem in college football today and that problem is Athletic Directors that listen to the agents of coaches telling that they should consider “X Coach” for “Y Job” and there is not an Athletic Director with a 2+ IQ that would possibly listen to a coach’s agent on anything beyond telling him what the school was willing to offer a coach and yet here we are….

Lovie Smith is the head football coach of the University of Illinois football team and in 4 years on the job Lovie has posted records of >

Overall:  11 – 31

Big Ten:  4 – 26

Why exactly Lovie Smith was hired as the head coach at Illinois when he spent the vast majority of his coaching career in the NFL is hard for us to fathom unless you understand this >

There are a Helluva Lot of Stupid As Hell Athletic Directors that actually listen to the agents of coaches when making coach hiring decisions.

Memo to You Stupid As Hell Athletic Directors and You Know Who You Are: YOU decide who you are going to hire as the head coach of your football program and then call the agent to set-up an interview and don’t listen to agents…agents are salesman and only want you to hire the coach and if your ass gets rolled by a coach’s agent that leads you to hiring a coach that his not remotely qualified to coach your school’s football team do you know what that makes you?

Stupid As Hell!

Getting back to Lovie Smith who was not remotely qualified to be a college head football coach the Illini are now 2 – 4 on the season after the loss to Michigan and those 2 wins are over >

Akron
UConn

What is the combined record of Akron and UConn you ask?

1 – 11

Oh…Lovie Smith wasn’t when he was hired and is not today remotely qualified to be a college head football coach…PERIOD!

At 2 – 4 the Illini have left to play in 2019 >

Wisconsin
At Purdue
Rutgers
At Michigan State
At Iowa
Northwestern

Save Rutgers and Northwestern which the Little Sisters of the Poor, Blind, and Deaf football team could beat the Illini will not win another game in 2019 and that makes the best case scenario for Lovie Smith in his 4th year on the job at Illinois >

4 – 8

Oh….Lovie Smith is not today and NEVER will be remotely qualified to be a head coach in college football….as for the NFL…we would probably give Lovie a look if we at a place had decent defensive players but in college?

Forget about it!

2.  Clay Helton, USC – We thought Georgia was a decent football team which Notre Dame gave a good game but after finding out that Georgia is coached by someone in Kirby Smart that is Lazy As Hell and is unwilling to get his football team ready to play football for a home SEC game in our humble opinion…more on Lazy As Hell Kirby Smart in a moment….maybe the Irish aren’t that great and maybe USC isn’t very good either…but then we already knew that!

Here are the Facts of Life at USC: As a new head football coach you have about 15 games to get things at USC rolling and Clay Helton starting off 12 – 3 in this first 15 games at USC in his first two full years on the job was pretty good but in Helton’s last 19 games he has now posted a record of….

8 – 11

Sorry but an 8 – 11 record in any stretch of losing games over a 5+ game stretch at USC is Totally Damn Unacceptable and when you get the USC football program rolling you either keep the USC football program rolling or you will be fired as soon as it stops rolling and USC football…is almost at a Complete Stop now!

USC is now 3 – 3 on the season and have left to play in 2019 >

Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
At Arizona State
At California
UCLA

That looks like 2, 3, maybe 4 more wins for USC in 2019 and even 7 – 5 by the Trojans in Clay Helton’s 4th full year on the job means that USC will be looking for a new head football coach come early December but then most everyone knows that by now….don’t you?

We might consider hiring Clay Helton at another school on a lower level and maybe Clay can reinvent himself like Sonny Dykes is doing at SMU right now after getting fired at California and with that in mind Helton is conducting an interview of sorts over these last 6 games for ADs out there that will be looking to hire a coach in a couple of months!

3.  Chad Morris, Arkansas – Arkansas played a decent game against a very average Kentucky football team that has been decimated by losses to the NFL and injuries but came up short again and now Morris’ records at Arkansas stand at:

Overall:  4 – 14

SEC:  0 – 11

Geez…that’s not good but take a look at this Stunning Number >

Going back to the 2012 season when John L. Smith coached the Razorbacks the Arkansas record in SEC Conference play is…wait for it…

13 – 46

That’s right…Arkansas has won 13 SEC Conference games in the last 8 seasons for an average of…

1.33 SEC Conference Wins A Year!

Got that now Kansas AD Jeff Long was nothing short of a Total Disaster for Arkansas Football because Jeff also gets credit for hiring Bobby Petrino who we would not hire to Shovel Shit in South Georgia or even to clean the shovels for the people we might hire to Shovel Shit in South Georgia?

Yep…Jeff Long was just a Total Disaster for Arkansas Football and we don’t expect any different at Kansas!

Getting back to Chad Morris and the 2019 Arkansas Razorbacks the 2 – 4 Hogs have left in 2019 >

Auburn
Alabama
Mississippi State
Western Kentucky
At LSU
Mizzou

Mississippi State is totally imploding so that could be a Win but Western Kentucky is playing pretty good football now under Clay Helton’s brother Tyson so what….Arkansas will finish with a 3 or 4 win season maybe under Chad Morris?

Got nothing short of a Freaking Disaster in Fayetteville?

Yep!

4.  Chip Kelly, UCLA – As one UCLA alum buddy of ours described the feeling among the UCLA folks he knows about the Bruins football program >

“It feels like we have been circling a black hole for awhile now knowing that the black hole is going to suck us in and we just wish it would go ahead and crush us to atoms and get it over with because what’s going on right now is nothing short of Hell!”

That Hell looks like this with Chip Kelly’s current records at UCLA:

Overall:  4 – 14

Pac-12:  4 – 8

The good news is that the 1 – 5 Bruins play Stanford this coming Thursday night and if they can score 30+ points they just might be able to get a second win in 2019 but with these games remaining….

Stanford
Arizona State
Colorado
At Utah
At USC
California

…if the Bruins don’t beat Stanford we don’t see them winning another game this season.

Looks like the entry into that black hole could be coming soon and not a moment too soon!

We will be hosting some our UCLA buddies on The Farm this coming week on Thursday night for the Bruins – Cardinal game and it will be fascinating to see what direction things should go if things continue to fall apart in Westwood and the Stanford game will be the game that will Tell The Tale so Let’s Play Some Football on Thursday night!

5.  Joe Moorhead, Mississippi State – We were quite alarmed when we saw Kansas State totally manhandle Mississippi State earlier this year in Starkville but after losses to Auburn and now a Tennessee team that lost to Georgia State and BYU we don’t think one could find a Softer Team in America than these Bulldogs who look to us like the Ultra Charmin that you pay a couple of extra bucks for in the grocery store!

Joe Moorhead or Fordham Joe as he is known around Coaches Hot Seat because of Joe’s 4 years coaching the Rams where he posted a decent record of 38 – 13….but then the Patriot League isn’t the SEC and that’s the problem here…isn’t it?

Fordham Joe’s records at Mississippi State now stand at…

Overall:  11 – 8

SEC:  5 – 6

…and the 3 – 3 Bulldogs still have to play in 2019 games against >

LSU
At Texas A&M
At Arkansas
Alabama
Abilene Christian
Ole Miss

Of course the SEC has a Big Fat Cupcake right before the rivalry game for Mississippi State so the Bulldogs will get 4 wins and they should be able to beat Arkansas which lost to San Jose State at home but where will they get at other win to get at least…

I am Average As Hell and Bowl Eligible at 6 – 6?

We don’t know and if Fordham Joe doesn’t win 6 games in his 2nd year after taking over a Top 25 Mississippi State program from Dan Mullen then in our opinion Fordham Joe AND anyone and everyone involved in bringing him to Starkville should be FIRED!

Just our humble opinion!

6.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – BYU is such a secretive institution and our Mormon friends are not really into gossip or running down their coach to non-Mormons but we can tell you they are frustrated and a little down after BYU went to Tampa and lost to a really average South Florida team this past Saturday and now Cougs head coach Kalani Sitake’s record at BYU stands at:

Overall:  22 – 23

Not good…not good at all…and now the 2 – 4 Cougs have games left in 2019 of…

Boise State
At Utah State
Liberty
Idaho State
At UMass
At San Diego State

If you can’t beat South Florida then you are not beating Boise State and more than likely not beating Utah State…nor Liberty probably…nor San Diego State and that means that the record in 2019 is going to look like 4 – 8, or 5 – 7, or 6 – 6 and this is Kalani Sitake’s 4th year at BYU.

Not good…not good at all.

7.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – It was reported over the weekend that if Willie Taggart is fired after this season that he will be owed $17 Million-Plus Dollars by FSU and we cannot help but wonder >

Who in the Hell was interested in hiring Willie Taggart after one season at Oregon where he posted a 7 – 6 record to justify Willie getting such a lucrative contract?

The answer to that question would be NO ONE which brings us to this >

Just how Damn Stupid are the people at Florida State University to agree to such a deal?

Very Damn Stupid People is the answer to that question and that is important because FSU just got beat 45 – 14 by Clemson to fall to 3 – 3 on the season and they have games left against…

At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Miami
At Boston College
Alabama State
At Florida

Alabama State will be a win…we think…so can FSU find 2 more wins out of those remaining 5 games to at least get to…

I am Average As Hell and Bowl Eligible at 6 – 6?

If not it would be worth every penny of that $17M+ to fire Willie Taggart!

8.  Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – Tennessee finally got a win over an FBS team on Saturday but then that was over Mississippi State and there are at least a dozen junior college football teams that could travel to Starkville and whip the Hell out of the Mississippi State Charmin Non-Bulldogs so it’s back to Big Boy Football with these games coming up for the 2 – 4 Vols >

At Alabama
South Carolina
UAB
At Kentucky
At Mizzou
Vanderbilt

There are a few hundred high school football teams in America that could whip Vandy so that should be a win but will Tennessee win another game in 2019 besides Vandy?

Maybe…maybe they can beat South Carolina, UAB, or Kentucky….but maybe not as well and there’s the problem…

No one really knows what to make of Tennessee Football and that’s because there’s no one LEADING Tennessee Football right now….in our humble opinion!

9.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – The following comment from a Houston resident and long-time Texas A&M alum sums up the feeling of many Aggies with Jimbo Fisher 19 games into his tenure in College Station >

“We did not agree to give Jimbo $75 million dollars for him to be Kevin Sumlin-lite and right now it looks like this football program is going backwards not forwards from where it was under Sumlin.”

Hmmmm…..so Jimbo Fisher has now coached Texas A&M for 19 games and his overall record stands at…

12 – 7

And Kevin Sumlin’s record after 19 games coaching the Aggies was….

16 – 3

Please now…can someone tell us why in the Hell that Texas A&M is paying Jimbo Fisher $7.5 million dollars a year when they could hired any Stumblebum that fell of a train going thru College Station and he too also after getting a shower, a hot meal or two, and some hot coffee could have also be sitting on record after 19 games of…

12 – 7?

Oh…what about Jimbo’s record in SEC play in Aggieland >

6 – 5

And Kevin Sumlin’s record in SEC play after 11 games with the Aggies was…

8 – 3

Come now…let’s cut the Horseshit on Jimbo Fisher and start holding accountable all the folks that thought they were geniuses in bring Jimbo to College Station which it seems that some Aggies are starting to realize with our buddy also saying about Jimbo if he doesn’t get things rolling and rolling soon >

“If Jimbo cannot even hit Sumlin’s win/loss marks then we will run him right out of College Station and Jimbo’s legacy will be the total dumpster fire he left behind in Tallahassee and then getting his ass run out of Aggieland.”

The 3 – 3 Aggies now have left on their schedule games against…

At Ole Miss
Mississippi State
Texas San Antonio
South Carolina
At Georgia
At LSU

Can the Aggies even find 3 more wins this season?

Maybe…Maybe Not…but if A&M doesn’t win 6 games in 2019 then Jimbo Fisher will be given a check and 30 minutes to get his shit together and get his ass out of College Station and thus we highly recommend Jimbo beat Ole Miss in Oxford on Saturday or it’s gonna get Mighty Damn Uncomfortable in Aggieland!

Oh that $60M left on Jimbo’s contract…evidently our Aggie buddies could raise that in less than 15 minutes and Jimbo would be on his way!

10.  Kirby Smart, Georgia – We have contacts at about 50 FBS schools around America and we have a good friend that works at the University of Georgia going back to the earliest days of Mark Richt’s tenure in Athens and this fellow has passed along a lot of great info on Georgia Football over the years….and 95% of it we have never written about…at least directly….but we talked to our Athens buddy last week and he says to us…

“It feels like Kirby and the football team are just going through the motions this week not that it will matter against South Carolina. Aren’t we like 21 point favorites or something in this game?”

Yep….Georgia was a 21 point favorite at home against South Carolina and in our humble opinion…

Kirby Smart and his coaches took last week off thinking they could easily beat South Carolina and it is also our opinion that Smart had no interest in laying a beatdown on his good friend Will Muschamp and it was THAT that led to Georgia getting its ass handed to them on their homefield which means…

Kirby Smart totally failed himself, the University of Georgia, the fans of Georgia Football, and most importantly the Georgia Football team because he was a Lazy Ass last week…in our humble opinion…and didn’t properly get his team ready to play South Carolina.

Now…we just did a comparison between Kevin Sumlin and Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M so let’s look at a comparison between Mark Richt and Kirby Smart thru 48 games at Georgia >

Kirby Smart = 37 – 11

Mark Richt = 39 – 9

Hmmmm….so Mark Richt was fired to hire Kirby Smart and Smart has a worse record than Richt and more importantly…

His Lazy Ass just took a week off and he didn’t get his team ready to play a 21-point underdog in a game at home….in our humble opinion?

Yep!

What does Georgia have with Kirby Smart exactly?

To us it looks like they have a very good recruiter who makes a Helluva Lot of Gameday mistakes and Preparation mistakes and now the pressure is really about to be turned up with Georgia having perhaps the most talent in America and the 5 – 1 Bulldogs have left in 2019 >

Kentucky
Florida – Jacksonville
Missouri
At Auburn
Texas A&M
At Georgia Tech

Will Kirby Smart have Georgia ready to play Kentucky on Saturday or the games against Florida, Mizzou, Auburn, Texas A&M, at Georgia Tech?

No one knows…and that’s the problem and if Georgia does drop 1 or 2 more games down the stretch with a Massive Talent Advantage in every one of those games then someone in Athens will have to ask the question >

Why in the Hell is Kirby Smart the head football coach at Georgia?

Gus Malzahn Is Sitting On One of the Hottest Seats in College Football Entering the 2016 College Football Season….and Should Be After What Was Nothing Less Than A Complete Freaking Disaster For Auburn Football In 2015! – Our Contact “Around” Auburn Lays Out the Reality That Now Faces Gus Malzahn AND Auburn AD Jay Jacobs = 2016 Is A Critical Year For BOTH Men! – Good Luck Gus!

 

OK…we West Coasters at Coaches Hot Seat will admit it…

We are loving us some SEC Football

….and since the late 1980s when a few Coaches Hot Seat members were serving in the US Navy in the Jacksonville, Florida area when a couple of us first ran into the Head Ball Coach Steve Spurrier at a Florida practice in Gainesville we have been lucky enough to have seen 100+ SEC football games in person, and there is not a more passionate place that loves their football more than at…

Auburn University!

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Yes….the folks at Alabama love their football team BUT not more than the folks at Auburn love theirs and that is why there is so much distress these days on The Plains because the Mighty Alabama Crimson Tide under Nick Saban has won…

4 of the last 7 National Championships

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….while Auburn has won what exactly?

ONE National Championship since 1957!

Yes…current Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn took the Auburn Tigers to the National Title Game in 2013 after what were nothing less than…

Two Luckier Than Hell Plays Against Georgia and Alabama at the end of the 2013 season

….BUT since Auburn lost to FSU in that 2013-14 Bogus BCS National Title Game one Gus Malzahn has put-up records of….

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….over the last two seasons and we have some news for Gus Malzahn and his immediate family:

If there is not SIGNIFICANT improvement in the Auburn Tigers football team in 2016 Auburn will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now…we here at Coaches Hot Seat being good business folks or what they would call “bidness folks” in the South have always made a point of making lots of contacts during our business endeavors, and that approach has extended to the great game of college football during our 40-plus years of watching this great game, and we now have a group of contacts across college football that we believe rivals anyone….and we happen to have a GREAT contact “around” Auburn who we have been talking to a lot over the past 6 months on the status of one….Gus Malzahn.

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We recently talked again to our contact “around” Auburn and asked him straight-out:

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What does Gus Malzahn have to do in 2016 to keep his job at Auburn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Whoa now boys…no one said Gus Malzahn is about t o be fired…but I will say there is plenty of pink paper in the Auburn athletic offices at the ready if Malzahn and his football team don’t perform this season and a pink slip has to be delivered.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What the Hell does that mean?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well now boys….Jay Jacobs (the Auburn AD) thinks very highly of the Auburn football program and believes it should compete toe-to-toe with Alabama and other SEC heavyweights EVERY year and if Malzahn should have another 8, 7 or Heaven help us 6 win or less season then Jacobs will no doubt have a list of coaches at the ready to make a move later this year.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Any guesses who might be on Jay Jacobs short-list to replace a fired Gus Malzahn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys…you didn’t hear this from me….but if you asked me to guess I would think Jay’s list would include…in order mind you…

Jimbo Fisher
Mark Dantonio
Art Briles
Gary Patterson
Dan Mullen
Tom Herman

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Geez…that’s a pretty strong list of coaches!”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys….if Jay Jacobs has to fire a third head football coach (Tuberville, Chizik, Malzahn) since 2008 you can bet your bottom Dollar this time Jay will go big and be bringing a Heckuva lot of money with him…..meaning Saban-type money.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be $7 million dollars plus per season.”

Auburn Contact:  “Exactly….Auburn cannot make another mistake in hiring its next coach…that is if Jay Jacobs is given the chance to hire the next coach, because if Malzahn should someone not win 6 or more games in 2016 then Jay Jacobs may be fired right before Gus Malzahn is.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be carnage on The Plains.”

Auburn Contact:  “It would be carnage in the family….but sometimes a good housecleaning is needed and Auburn may need that is this season implodes under Gus (Malzahn).”

OK…it seems pretty clear to us that Gus Malzahn is sitting on one of the Hottest Damn Seats in College Football and should be with records the last two seasons at Auburn of…

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….so let’s go the numbers and look at Auburn’s 2016 schedule.

Gus Malzahn, Auburn

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4 th season at South Carolina

Overall Head Coaching Record (Arkansas State + Auburn):  36 – 16

Auburn Head Coaching Record

Overall:  27 – 17

SEC:  13 – 11

Let’s look at Auburn’s 2016 football schedule:

Clemson
Arkansas State
Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

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OK….Bozo the Clown or ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

3 Football Games

….coaching Auburn in 2016 BUT as we look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule which begins with FIVE straight home games we are thinking that Gus Malzahn and his Auburn Tigers better Damn be NO worse than…

4 – 1

…when they travel to play at Mississippi State on October 8 because we see FOUR serious potential losses in Auburn’s last SEVEN games…

At Mississippi State
At Ole Miss
At Georgia
At Alabama

Here’s the problem for Gus Malzahn….in our opinion if Auburn finishes with a record worse than…

8 – 4 overall

5 – 3 in SEC play

….Gus Malzahn is going to be in a Helluva spot when the Alabama game is over on November 26 and if Auburn finishes at…

7 – 5 overall

4 – 4 in SEC play

….in 2016 which would leave Malzahn’s the last THREE seasons at Auburn standing at…

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….then Gus Malzahn is….

DONE at Auburn…PERIOD!

Hell….with 3 games at home against Clemson, Texas A&M, and LSU in the first 5 weeks of the season Gus Malzahn could be DONE at Auburn before October 1 if the Tigers somehow tripped up and lost those 3 CRITICAL games!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Coach YOUR football team YOUR way in 2016 because there’s a very Damn good chance this will be YOUR last year at Auburn unless there is dramatic improvement from the Tigers football team of 2016 which in our opinion was nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

….because when you finish at…

2 – 6 in SEC play

….at Auburn that is just flat-out a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

Good Luck Gus!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

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Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.