Tag Archive: Les Miles

The Les Miles and Ron Turner Firings on Sunday – Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – These Hot Seat Coaches Need to Understand Mr. Cash That When You Make Millions of Dollars A Year…Your Ass Will Either Perform Or End Up On The Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

 

The Les Miles and Ron Turner Firings on Sunday

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Many of us here at Coaches Hot Seat were flying back to San Francisco from Los Angeles on Sunday after seeing Stanford come back and beat UCLA on Saturday night at the Rose Bowl and as we tweeted out on Sunday…

We were surprised but not shocked that LSU fired Les Miles

…because we believe Totally in the saying that now former Florida AD Jeremy Foley has said many times during his great career as AD in Gainesville…

“What will have to be done eventually should be done immediately.”

…and No Damn Doubt in our minds Les Miles should have been fired at the end of the 2016 season because in our opinion…

Les Miles is Incredibly Stubborn and would rather LSU Football lose football games than Miles EVER having to admit that he was wrong about ANYTHING

…and anyone with a working brain knows that Les Miles’ brand of football should be tossed on the scrapheap of college football history and anyone that is considering hiring Les Miles in the future should understand that reality Very Damn Clearly!

The Win/Loss Numbers for Les Miles over the past THREE seasons…2014 – 2016…are Very Damn Ugly Indeed when one considers that during the past THREE seasons Miles has had Top 5 talent in college football and those Win/Loss numbers are…

Overall:  19 – 10

SEC:  10 – 8

Power 5 Schools:  12 – 10

…which is nothing short of a Total and Complete Disaster when you have…

TOP FIVE TALENT in College Football at LSU

…which makes it in our opinion that LSU was 10 Months Late in firing Les Miles and in the end if might cost LSU….

Tom Herman to Texas or USC!

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Let’s leave the who will be the next head coach at LSU speculation for another day and give a Hearty Congratulations for Coach Ed Orgeron who is now the…

Head Football Coach at LSU

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…and who we hope can win many of the remaining games the Tigers have against…

Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

…especially since LSU has MORE talent on its roster than every team left on its schedule except for Alabama.

One thing that Coach O said that caught our attention in his press conference on Monday was that LSU was going to…

“Spend less time on the practice field and more time in the meeting rooms.”

….which is what Pete Carroll did at USC and which as former football players here at Coaches Hot Seat is something we have believed in for 30+ years now going back to the Bill Walsh days at Stanford the first-time around.

As the great Alabama head coach Frank Thomas, who played for Knute Rockne at Notre Dame and coached Paul “Bear” Bryant at Alabama, once said:

“Keep the players high. Make practice a pleasure, not a lark. Be a disciplinarian, but not a slave driver. It’s better to have a short, full practice than a long lazy one.”

Amen to that Coach Thomas….and Coach O as well!

Give ‘Em Hell Coach O…and just like at USC…we will be pulling for you Coach!

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On the Ron Turner firing at FIU it was no surprise to anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat that Ron Turner was fired in his FOURTH season at FIU where he put up records of…

Overall:  10 – 30

CUSA:  7 – 17

….because as we said when Ron Turner was hired…

FIU had no Damn Business hiring Ron Turner because if you are going to fire Mario Cristobal then you better Damn hire someone better than Cristobal and Ron Turner is not in the same world as Cristobal in coaching college football in the early part of the 21 st century…..PERIOD!

FIU should hire a young, fiery, smart, tenacious, hard-charging, fighting like Hell coach and just realize if the coach does a good job at FIU he will probably be off to a bigger job and then FIU should go out and hire another….

Young, fiery, smart, tenacious, hard-charging, fighting like Hell coach!

Do that FIU….just do that!

 

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These Hot Seat Coaches Need to Understand Mr. Cash That When You Make Millions of Dollars A Year…Your Ass Will Either Perform Or End Up On The Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Clay Helton, USC – We spent several hours with an USC-alum friend of ours on this past Saturday night in Santa Monica after we watched Stanford come back and beat UCLA at the Rose Bowl and to say that our friend and many of his fellow USC-alum friends are PISSED-OFF about the current state of USC football would be a massive understatement!

Consider these numbers for a moment…since 2009 USC’s combined Pac-12 Conference record over the past 8 seasons now stands at…

40 – 25

…which includes USC head coaches Pete Carroll’s last year, Lane Kiffin, Ed Orgeron, Steve Sarkisian, and Clay Helton. Then consider the below numbers which is Alabama and Nick Saban’s record in SEC Conference play over the past 8 seasons…

48 – 8

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Why do we mention Nick Saban and Alabama’s record in SEC Conference play over the past 8 seasons you ask?

Because an USC-alum that could buy and sell most of the Westside of Los Angeles on any given afternoon has it written on a dry erase board in his home office and those two numbers….USC and Alabama’s conference records since 2009….was written on that dry erase board by someone who is fed-up with what is going on with USC football, and who is now going around Los Angeles briefing other USC alums about just what in the Hell is going to happen at USC if Clay Helton doesn’t get things turned around with the Trojans…and in a Helluva hurry!

Here are the important win/loss records at USC for Clay Helton as this moment:

Overall:  7 – 7

Pac-12:  5 – 3

The word we got from our USC-alum friend on Saturday night….

Clay Helton either wins 7 games in 2016…meaning USC will need to win 6 of its last 8 games this season…or the Clay Helton era at USC will be over shortly after the Notre Dame game on November 26.

Oh..Clay Helton better Damn beat UCLA and Notre Dame in getting those 7 wins!

Our opinion after talking to our USC-alum friend on Saturday night for a few hours:

Clay Helton better win 7-plus games or there is going to be a MEGA OFFER by USC to hire Tom Herman in 6 or so weeks that will make Herman the highest-paid coach in college football and with that in mind we would recommend that Helton’s Trojans beat Arizona State on Saturday night at the LA Coliseum!

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2.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s Boston College team beat Total Damn Cupcake Wagner on Saturday which raised the Eagles overall record in 2016 to…

2 – 2

….which leaves Addazio’s win/loss records in four seasons at…

Overall:  19 – 23

ACC:  8 – 18

…and on Saturday BC plays host to Buffalo in a game that we would recommend Steve Addazio NOT lose because if the Eagles did lose to a Buffalo team at home then Addazio might not be the BC coach by Noon on Sunday!

It’s all very simple for Steve Addazio in 2016 IF Boston College can beat Buffalo on Saturday:

Win at least 6 games and Addazio will get another season at BC.

Don’t win at least 6 games and the Boston College job will open up in late November…if not sooner!

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3.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Our Texas-alum friends are NOT Stupid and after Texas got beat by what many of us think is just an average California team coupled with Notre Dame’s defense being more porous than a 3-year old sponge Charlie Strong is now in a very dangerous spot where Charlie will either win several critical games coming up or he might be out of a job before the 2016 season is half over.

The numbers or Charlie Strong at Texas are very mediocre…

Overall:  13 – 15

Big 12:  9 – 9

…and even though we think the world of Charlie and are hoping he can turn Texas back into a college football power the TRUTH is that Notre Dame’s Total Damn Collapse has turned up the heat on Strong who is facing TWO CRITICAL games in the next TWO weeks…

At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma

….that with TWO losses could very well lead to Charlie Strong being shown the door before the Longhorns play Iowa State on October 15.

Oh Yes…Charlie Strong is in a very precarious situation and from what we have been told…

“Anything less than 8 wins in 2016 and Charlie is done….PERIOD!”

….because the Texas boys with very deep pockets are not going to be left on the outside looking in on the Tom Herman sweepstakes and if a change in the head coaching job at Texas has to be made and USC is offering Tom Herman…

$8 Million A Year

…the Texas Boys will go with…

$9 Million A Year!

Our recommendation to Charlie Strong:

Beat Oklahoma State on Saturday Charlie and for God’s Sake…start playing some Damn Defense!

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4.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – The numbers since Fresno State won the Mountain West Conference title for the second straight time in 2013 are very ugly indeed for Tim DeRuyter and his Bulldogs….since 2013 Fresno State’s records at…

Overall:  10 – 18

MWC:  7 – 13

…and a home loss to Tulsa in two overtimes on Saturday just made things that much worse and now it’s either…

Start Winning Some Football Games

…for Tim DeRuyter or there will be a new head football coach for Fresno State come sometime in December.

How many games does Tim DeRuyter need to win in 2016 to keep his job?

At least 6 games total Tim…at least 6 games.

Now at 1 – 3 on the season and these games still left to be played…

At UNLV
At Nevada
San Diego State
At Utah State
Air Force
At Colorado State
Hawaii
San Jose State

….can the Bulldogs win 5 of their last 8 games?

If they can’t then Tim DeRuyter NEEDS to be fired!

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5.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – With the Alabama whipping of Kent State on Saturday Paul Haynes record coaching the Golden Flashes over the last FOUR seasons now stands at…

Overall:  10 – 29

MAC:  6 – 17

…and with KSU now at 1 – 3 on the 2016 season either Haynes will get his team to 6 wins in 2016 or Kent State will be looking for a new head coach come December.

Next up for Paul Haynes and Kent State…

Akron and head coach Terry Bowden at home on Saturday!

Good Luck with that Paul!

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6.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – We especially wanted to talk to some our Auburn friends after the Tigers close win over LSU on Saturday to get their opinions on the future of Gus Malzahn and it took until Tuesday afternoon to reach all of them and the general consensus among the Auburn alums we talked to is this…

Gus Malzahn will more than likely be back to coach at Auburn in 2017 IF the Tigers at least SEVEN games in 2016 and with that in mind and Auburn now sitting on a 2 – 2 record this season here is what AU have left to play:

La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

So Gus Malzahn has to win FIVE of his last EIGHT games to return as the Auburn coach in 2017 and he has…

TWO Total Damn Cupcakes in La. Monroe and Alabama A&M

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….so Malzahn has to win THREE of SIX games against…

At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
At Alabama

Our opinion…if Gus Malzahn can’t win THREE of the above SIX games then he should be fired shortly after the Alabama game on November 26 because EVEN IF Malzahn finished at…

7 – 5

…in 2016 his win/loss records over the last THREE seasons…2014 – 2016….would stand at:

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….and a coach at Auburn cannot possibly survive posting a record in SEC Conference play over three years of…

10 – 14

….right?

Hell…maybe the folks around and support Auburn Football are now willing to accept…

Average As Hell

….but then at Auburn a 10 – 14 SEC Conference record over three years isn’t even…

Average As Hell

….it’s MUCH WORSE!

Oh…if La. Monroe happened to beat Auburn on Saturday which is coached by Matt Viator who is a pretty Damn good football coach then we recommend the Alabama media pay close attention because we rather doubt that Gus Malzahn will be the head coach at Auburn by Noon on Sunday!

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7.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – Some…make that Many…will say that it’s crazy to have Will Muschamp on the Hot Seat in his first year at South Carolina BUT we have a couple of close friends that are South Carolina alumni who have plenty of friends who were…

None Too Happy About Will Muschamp’s Hiring at USC

…and who are more than willing to throw their weight around if the 2016 season should turn into a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Muschamp at USC

….and if you can’t beat Kentucky….the 2016 season has the potential to turn into a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Muschamp at USC!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season Will Muschamp and South Carolina still have 8 games left against…

Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

…and we would recommend…and we are pulling for Will Muschamp….to win at least…

THREE of the last EIGHT games

…because if for some reason South Carolina finishes the 2016 season with wins only over…

Vanderbilt
East Carolina
UMass
Western Carolina

….we could recommend folks keep their eyes on Columbia come late November…just saying!

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8.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – One thing we tell our young employees is…

When you get into a position of power don’t be an Arrogant Ass

….because when you fail…and EVERYONE will fail at some time in their life….the people that sign your paychecks….

The Alumni, Boosters, and Fans of Notre Dame Football for Brian Kelly

….will be more likely to…

Kick Your Arrogant Ass to the Curb

…and that is what Brian Kelly is now facing if the 2016 season should turn into a Total and Complete Disaster after losses to Texas, Michigan State, and Duke to open the 2016 season.

Now at 1 – 3 the Non-Fighting Irish still have games against….

Syracuse
At NC State
Stanford
Miami
Navy
Army
Virginia Tech
At USC

….and it’s just a humble guess by the folks here at Coaches Hot Seat but we are thinking Notre Dame will win…

4….maybe 5…games in 2016

….and if Notre Dame wins 4…maybe 5…games in 2016…

Notre Dame will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after the USC game on November 26…

COUNT ON IT!

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9.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and his Purdue football team got a nice win at home over Nevada on Saturday which leaves Hazell’s records in FOUR seasons at the school at…

Overall:  8 – 31

Big Ten:  2 – 22

….and we have it on what we call Very Damn Good Authority that if Hazell wins less than 6 games in 2016 Purdue will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after the Indiana game on September 26!

Up next for Darrell Hazell and Purdue….at Maryland which has a first year coach in his first head coaching job which is a game that Purdue and Hazell SHOULD win but will they…

Not Bloody Likely!

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10.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – We don’t know a whole lot of people around the University of Kentucky since we don’t follow college basketball like we do college football BUT we did reach what will call a “person of interest” in the Lexington area who told us on Monday of this week that…

“If Mark Stoops wins five games in 2016….Hell, maybe four games in 2016 he will be back to coach Kentucky next season.”

Geez…in your FOURTH year on the job at Kentucky you can win FOUR games and keep your job?

Well…this is Kentucky Football we are talking about here BUT with Kentucky now at 2 – 2 on the season and these games still to be played…

At Alabama
Vanderbilt
Mississippi State
At Missouri
Georgia
At Tennessee
Austin Peay
At Louisville

…can Mark Stoops and the Wildcats win just TWO of their last EIGHT games to save Mark Stoops job?

Now that is just Damn Silly that you can KEEP your job by winning TWO of your last EIGHT games but then can UK and Stoops even do that?

Maybe….Just Damn Maybe!

If Mark Stoops does win only 3 games in 2016…

Kentucky will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after Bobby Petrino and Louisville BEATS the Living Hell out of the Wildcats on November 26!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – It’s Early In The Season Yes…But That Doesn’t Mean Mr. Johnny Cash Isn’t Already Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

 

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

It’s Early In The Season Yes…But That Doesn’t Mean Mr. Johnny Cash Isn’t Already Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – The most shocking thing about the…

Fall of Gus Malzahn at Auburn

…is how Fast + Far the Fall has been and if one goes back to Saturday, October 4, 2014 which is the day that Auburn beat LSU at home by the score of…

41 – 7

….over the past two-plus seasons Gus Malzahn has posted TWO records that are nothing less than a…

Total and Complete Disaster at Auburn!

In Gus Malzahn’s Last 18 games against Power 5 Conference Schools his win/loss record is…

5 – 13

….and in Gus Malzahn’s Last 15 SEC Conference Games his win/loss record is…

4 – 11

Sorry….NO Coach can survive those kinds of records at Auburn and that means the BIGGEST game of Gus Malzahn’s coaching career is this coming Saturday night at home against an LSU team that is wobbling as well and also has a coach on the Hot Seat in Les Miles because very simply….

Gus Malzahn CANNOT Lose to LSU at home on Saturday night!

According to Tyler Thompson at Kentucky Sports Radio who did a nice breakdown of the current buyouts in the SEC…

Comparing Mark Stoops’ buyout to the rest of the SEC, Tyler Thompson, Kentucky Sports Radio

….Gus Malzahn’s buyout if fired at the end of the 2016 season would be…

$8.95 Million Dollars

….which is Beyond Damn Absurd although not as Absurd as the $12 Million Dollars that Kentucky would owe Mark Stoops if fired, and if we were in a position of power at Auburn University right now we would be wondering?

Who in the Hell is hiring and signing these Beyond Damn Absurd contracts with Auburn Head Football Coaches that would if Gus Malzahn is fired after this season lead to Auburn paying out…

North of $20 Million Dollars to buyout Tommy Tuberville, Gene Chizik and Gus Malzahn!

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That would be Auburn AD Jay Jacobs who is a Helluva nice man and talented college athletic sports administrator but unfortunately it seems that Jay like many ADs in FBS today have…

No Damn Respect for other people’s money meaning the Fans, Boosters, Alumni and anyone else that spends their hard-earned money on Auburn Football and Athletics!

Our opinion on the Auburn situation: If Auburn can’t beat what is a Very Average LSU team at home on The Plains the Tigers will be lucky to win…

6 Games in 2016!

Yes…it’s that bad at Auburn and someone at Auburn better have a Damn plan in place if the 2016 season melts down in the coming weeks!

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2.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Let this sink in for a moment…

In Steve Addazio’s 41 st game at Boston College in his FOURTH season on the job his BC football team just got beat…

49 – 0

….by a team in Virginia Tech with a first-year head coach in Justin Fuente who took over a Hokies team that won SIX games in the 2015 regular season!

There is NO DAMN EXCUSE for Steve Addazio to take a team to Blacksburg and lose 49 – 0 to what is still a finding-its-way Virginia Tech team and with that loss Steve Addazio’s records at BC dropped to…

Overall:  18 – 23

ACC:  8 – 18

….and over the last two seasons Steve Addazio is now sitting on a record of…

4 – 11!

Geez….you think things are coming apart at Boston College with the Eagles next REAL game after playing Cupcakes Wagner and Buffalo in the next two weeks being Clemson at home?

Yes…things are coming apart at Boston College and the word on the street in Boston where it seems BC-alums are finally coming to their senses before their football program goes in the totally in the toilet…

Anything less than 6 wins in 2016 and Steve Addazio is DONE come late November.

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Purdue has a bye in Week 3 and gets back to playing with a home game against Nevada on Saturday in a game that flat-out…

Darrell Hazell CANNOT Lose

….because a loss to Nevada to drop to 1 – 2 on the season with NINE Big Ten games left to play would be…

Forget Turning Out the Lights Because There is No Damn Electricity

….for the Purdue Boilermakers in 2016!

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4.  Clay Helton, USC – It hasn’t been easy to reach our USC-alum friends especially as they let sink in that..

Stanford has won EIGHT of the last TEN games against USC

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….but we did get what we will call a Very Damn Influential USC-alum on the phone on Monday morning at his office overlooking the Pacific Ocean in Santa Monica and here is what he said about Clay Helton when asked…

“Clay Helton is a nice man but anything less than NINE wins this season and it’s over for Clay. We know (meaning USC-alums) we will have to raise a lot of money to get someone like Tom Herman, but we are determined to make USC football relevant again whatever the cost may be.”

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With the above in mind USC plays at Utah on Saturday and with a loss Clay Helton’s overall record coaching the Trojans would drop to…

7 – 7

…and we recommend to Clay Helton that…

Your Trojans BEAT Utah Son!

Oh…what is a “lot of money” in the mind of a Very Damn Influential USC-alum to hire someone like Tom Herman you ask?

$10M A Year meaning the Highest Paid Coach in College Football!

Yep…USC-alums are not happy and they are willing to take out their checkbooks to show just how unhappy they are with the current state of USC Football!

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5.  Les Miles, LSU – Talk about what would be nothing less than a…

Total and Complete Disaster

…what if Les Miles LSU team went to Auburn this coming Saturday night and lost to Auburn team that looks like it has No Damn Clue what stadium it is playing in?

Oh that would be a…Total and Complete Disaster…which is why this Saturday’s LSU vs. Auburn game is one of those….

A CANNOT Lose Game for both Les Miles and Gus Malzahn

…with the losing coach being taken straight to Cape Kennedy after the game to be put on a rocket to launch him and his ass Straight Towards the Face of the Sun!

OK…we have seen LSU play against Wisconsin, Jacksonville State, and Mississippi State this year and the Tigers looked like a very AVERAGE football team in all three games and if one looks at what is left on LSU’s schedule…

At Auburn
Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

…how many games can Les Miles and his football team realistically win in 2016?

We say…no more than EIGHT games and anything less than TEN wins and Les Miles is done come December and if LSU fans want to hire Tom Herman or Bobby Petrino for that matter they better like our USC-alum friends be ready to…

Write Some BIG Checks!

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6.  Ron Turner, Florida International – With the FIU loss to UMass on Saturday head coach Ron Turner’s records at FIU now stand at…

Overall:  10 – 29

CUSA:  7 – 17

….an do we need to write any more about Ron Turner at FIU?

NO is the answer to that question!

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7.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – At first we thought it was an Internet Joke that Kentucky head coach Mark Stoops had a…

$12 Million Dollar Buyoutat Kentucky but as Tyler Thompson has shown doing some great research…

Comparing Mark Stoops’ buyout to the rest of the SEC, Tyler Thompson, Kentucky Sports Radio

…that $12 Million Dollar buyout DO BE TRUE which again shows that another AD…this time Kentucky AD Mitch Barnhart…doesn’t…

Know His Ass From the Side of a Barn

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….because when Mark Stoops was given this Totally Damn Absurd Contract and Buyout…

Mark Stoops had done NOTHING to have earned such a RICH payout

…but then don’t feel bad Mitch Barnhart…

College Athletics is riddled with Total Damn Complete Moron ADs that seem to love giving away Other People’s Hard-Earned Money!

With Kentucky’s come from behind win over woeful New Mexico State on Saturday Mark Stoops records at UK now stand at…

Overall:  13 – 26

SEC:  4 – 21

….and with these games still left on the Wildcats schedule…

South Carolina
At Alabama
Vanderbilt
Mississippi State
At Missouri
Georgia
At Tennessee
Austin Peay
At Louisville

….we don’t see Kentucky winning more than…

FOUR Games in 2016

…and even though Kentucky would owe Mark Stoops the Totally Damn Absurd…

$12 Million Dollars

…if fired after the season how could Kentucky keep on a head football coach that won…

FOUR Games in his FOURTH season on the job?

They COULD NOT is the answer to that question!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were at the Texas – Cal game at Memorial Stadium on Saturday night and the word they brought back to us on Sunday was that….

Texas let the Cal wide-receivers run wild and didn’t pressure the Bears QB

…and if you allow that to happen with ANY spread-passing offensive attack as Cal…and many Big 12 schools now run….you are going to give up a Helluva LOT of points and…

Giving up 50 Points to Cal when Cal only scored 51 on woeful Hawaii and only 40 on San Diego State

…is not only Not Freaking Acceptable is it borderline a Firing Offense when you are in your THIRD season on the job as Charlie Strong is at Texas.

The Problem that Charlie Strong is now facing is that many schools in the Big 12 play an offense just like Cal’s and Charlie better get the Texas Defense fixed and quick because look what’s coming up for the Horns…

At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas Tech
West Virginia
At Kansas
TCU

Hell…if Texas plays like they did against Cal the rest of the season the Horns will win….

FIVE…Maybe SIX Games in 2016 and if that happens…

Charlie Strong will NOT be the head coach at Texas come December….PERIOD!

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9.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – Since Tim DeRuyter and his Fresno State football team won the Mountain West Conference in 2013 his Bulldogs have posted records over the past three seasons of…

Overall:  10 – 19

MWC:  7 – 9

…and the proud folks that support Fresno State football are just NOT going to tolerate that kind of football for much longer and thus why Tim DeRuyter better get things turned around in the Valley or he will be out of a job at the end of this season.

Now at 1 – 2 on the season and looking at what is left on Fresno State’s schedule in 2016…

Tulsa
At UNLV
At Nevada
San Diego State
At Utah State
Air Force
At Colorado State
Hawaii
San Jose State

…there is NO reason for the Bulldogs to win less than…

SEVEN Games in 2016

…and SEVEN Wins in 2016 is probably what DeRuyter needs to keep his job at Fresno State!

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10.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Hey, Hey, Hey…Kent State and head coach Paul Haynes got a win on Saturday against Monmouth which is enough to temper much of the enthusiasm for the win….especially when one sees who the Golden Flashes are playing next…

Alabama in Tuscaloosa!

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Uhhhh…Good Luck with that Paul Haynes!

Paul Hayne’s win/loss records in FOUR seasons at Kent State:

Overall:  10 – 28

MAC:  6 – 17

Make that 10 – 29 with the Crimson Tide looming!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches – These Coaches on the Hot Seat might not like it Mr. Cash…but Give Them Hell Anyway!

 

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Head Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These Coaches on the Hot Seat might not like it Mr. Cash…but Give Them Hell Anyway!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Les Miles, LSU – When you have a quarterback that has played as much football as LSU QB Brandon Harris it’s the Height of Idiocy for that QB to have his head coach saying things like this about him…

“We’re trying to get Brandon comfortable and settled down,” Miles said, “but I don’t know if that will happen.”

….because reality is Les Miles…either Brandon Harris is by now…

Ready to Play Football or Not Ready to Play Football

…and any random teenager that is fan of the great game of football can see that…

Brandon Harris is just Flat-Out NOT Ready to Play Football!

We don’t have a clue if Purdue transfer QB Danny Etling is the answer to LSU’s offensive woes but we for Damn sure know…

There are at least three dozen 30, 40, and 50 something old former football players that are members at Coaches Hot Seat that are much older than LSU QB Brandon Harris who are right now BETTER quarterbacks than Brandon Harris will EVER be in college and with that in mind…

It’s time for Les Miles to ride Danny Etling to try and get his ass off the Hot Seat because if Brandon Harris is the LSU QB in 2016

….Les Miles will be working on TV in 2017 doing analyst work on games which isn’t a bad gig but for Damn sure it’s not the same as being the head coach of the….

LSU Tigers Football Team!

Can’t you just see Les Miles doing color on a football game on TV = “He really gave him his chest on that play!”

Yes…a win over a decent FCS team in Jacksonville State is nice but let’s not forget that in Les Miles last 20 football games against Power 5 Conference Teams he has a record of…

12 – 8

…and now over the next four weeks of the season Les Miles and LSU will get to play what is no doubt the most crucial stretch in Miles head coaching career against the following teams:

Mississippi State
At Auburn
Missouri
At Florida

The TRUTH is that if Les Miles loses just 2 of the next 4 games against the above teams the chances of Miles returning to coach at LSU in 2017 drop to around 10% because with 3 losses on the board with still games against..

A Pretty Good Southern Miss team
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

….there is no way in Hell LSU loses fewer than FOUR games in 2016 and from what we have been told if LSU loses more than THREE games this season…

Les Miles is DONE in Baton Rouge

….and even THREE losses might lead to Miles firing come December if one of those losses to Alabama again.

Bottom-Line in the immediate future for Les Miles at LSU:

LSU CANNOT lose at home to Mississippi State on Saturday night….PERIOD!

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2.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – As Gus Malzahn knows Arkansas State has a decent football program that has achieved a lot in recent years with a very small amount of resources especially compared to place like Auburn where Gus Malzahn has…

EVERYTHING HE NEEDS

….to win football games, SEC Conference Titles, and National Championships which brings us to the important numbers as it related to Gus Malzahn at Auburn.

Forget about Gus Malzahn’s first year at Auburn in 2013 which included just Total Fluke wins over both Georgia and Alabama which launched the Tigers into the National Title game and focus instead on the last three seasons…

2014 – 2016

….because the TREND is what is important for Malzahn and over the last three seasons Gus Malzahn’s records at Auburn now stand at:

Overall:  16 – 12

SEC:  6 – 10

Sorry….NO Coach can survive the above win-loss numbers at Auburn over even a short period of time with the amount of money that Auburn Athletics is spending on the Tigers football program which is really not an identifiable number since there is…

NOTHING

…that Gus Malzahn could ask for and not get which means that either Gus Malzahn performs in 2016 or there will be a new head coach of the Auburn Tigers come before the New Year.

Now at 1 – 1 on the season and Gus Malzahn needing from what we have been told in recent days…

“At least 8 wins to keep his job.”

….means that Malzahn and his Tigers will need to find 7 wins out of their remaining 10 games against:

Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

Well…Auburn will certainly beat La. Monroe and Alabama A&M which gives Malzahn…

3 Wins

….which means the Tigers will need to win 5 of their remaining 8 games against…

Texas A&M
LSU
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
At Alabama

…and if you give Auburn a win over Vandy that is…4 wins against the below 7 teams…

Texas A&M
LSU
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
At Georgia
At Alabama

Hell…if Gus Malzahn and Auburn can’t win 4 games against the above 7 teams with the amount of resources and talent that Malzahn has access to then no doubt in our minds….

Gus Malzahn SHOULD be fired shortly after the Iron Bowl against Alabama in late November!

Do you think it’s important for Gus Malzahn and his Tigers to win the next 2 home games against Texas &M and LSU?

You Better Damn Believe Winning Those Two Games Is VERY Damn Important!

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3.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – In his third year at Kentucky with Mark Stoops sitting on records of…

Overall:  12 – 26

SEC:  4 – 21

….and regardless of the size of Stoops buyout the margin of error is becoming smaller and smaller for Bob Stoops younger brother starting with a MUST WIN game against New Mexico State on Saturday in Lexington which with a loss would…

Effectively END the Mark Stoops Era at Kentucky

This is all very Damn simple for Mark Stoops….a defensive coach like Stoops just flat-out CANNOT give up…

44 points to Southern Miss
45 points to Florida

….and keep his job and with New Mexico State beating New Mexico this past weekend there could be a new name for “Waterloo” in the English language…

“Lexington” meaning when an era came to an end in America with this era being the Mark Stoops one at Kentucky!

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4.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Sorry…but in your FOURTH season at a Big Ten school like Purdue you should NOT be losing at home to a team like Cincinnati and with that loss to the Bearcats Darrell Hazell’s records with the Boilermakers drops to…

Overall:  7 – 31

Big Ten:  2 – 22

….and if the current trend continues one would think that Purdue will have a new head football coach come December.

Oh…a good way for Darrell Hazell to stop the “trend” would be for his football team to beat Nevada at home in their next game on September 24 before the Big Ten season gets underway!

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5.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s Boston College football team HAD to beat UMass on Saturday and the Eagles got that win but then we are still talking about…

UMass

….which is about equal to beating a plate of cupcakes on any kitchen counter and that is why Addazio’s BC team needs to keep the ball rolling by beating Virginia Tech on Saturday in Blacksburg with what should be EASY WINS against Wagner and Buffalo looming in Weeks 4 and 5.

We finally got an old Boston friend of ours on the phone this past week and he did some asking around with his Boston College friends on what Addazio has to do to return for the 2017 season as head coach of the BC Eagles and his findings are:

“Win 7 football games….isn’t that pitiful?”

There you have it Steve Addazio…”win 7 football games” in your FOURTH season on the job and you will get a FIFTH season at BC!

As Jed Clampett used to tell Jethro….”Pitiful…Just Pitiful!”

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6.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Paul Haynes Kent State football team lost to North Carolina A&T over the weekend in FOUR overtimes so give the Flashes props for playing hard but with that loss to NC A&T Paul Haynes records at Kent State dropped to…

Overall:  9 – 27

MAC:  6 – 17

….and remember Haynes took over a Flashes team that had won 11 games in 2012 under former KSU head coach Darrell Hazell!

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Hey…there’s a thought! When Darrell Hazell gets his ass fired by Purdue later this year he should come back and coach Kent State where he won 11 games in 2012!

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7.  Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner’s FIU team lost to Maryland on Saturday…

Alert the Press…..NOT!

…and now in his FOURTH season as the head coach at FIU Ron Turner’s records now stand at:

Overall:  10 – 28

CUSA:  7 – 17

Forget Turn Out the Lights the Party’s Over…..this Ron Turner Party at FIU NEVER Got Started!

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8.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – We watched most of the Mississippi State – South Carolina game last night when it was being replayed on one of the ESPN channels and if TRUTH be neither…

MSU or USC looked like very good football teams

….not that Will Muschamp really needs a very good football team in his first season in Columbia because what he needs is SIX wins to get his ass off the Hot Seat and with these games left…

East Carolina
At Kentucky
Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

….can Coach Boom find FIVE more wins among the remaining TEN games?

Well…let’s give USC the UMass and Western Carolina games which means Coach Boom needs THREE more wins out of the remaining EIGHT games…

Hell, if Will Muschamp can’t win THREE of EIGHT football games we will fly to Columbia in early December and fire his ass ourselves!

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9.  Clay Helton, USC – Someone at USC got the message that Clay Helton’s ass will be run out of Los Angeles if the Trojans don’t win a Helluva lot more than SIX games in 2016 and on Saturday USC played with a lot more focus against Utah State winning 45 – 7 and up next is…

Mighty Stanford on The Farm!

For those that follow Stanford Football closely as we do here at Coaches Hot Seat it is historical that Stanford is going for…

7 wins in the last 10 games against USC

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….on Saturday and even with the Trojans struggling it should be a Helluva football game because the Cardinal has a number of problems it needs to fix on both sides of the ball in what is clearly…

A MUST and DESPERATE TO WIN GAME for both Stanford and USC

….which is the kind of football game we love to watch and attend and no doubt there will be two dozen-plus from Coaches Hot Seat on The Farm on Saturday and with that mind…

Let’s Play some USC vs. Stanford Football!

As for Clay Helton the latest we have heard from our USC-alum friends in Los Angeles…

Anything LESS than 8 wins and USC is looking for a new head coach come December and that is straight from someone that could…

Buy and Sell most of Santa Monica this afternoon!

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10.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Kevin Sumlin GOT the start he had to have to begin the 2016 season with wins over UCLA and Prairie View BUT what our A&M-alum family members and friends are watching is Sumlin’s record in SEC Conference play which in his FIFTH season on the job in College Station stands at…

17 – 15

….and the TRUTH is…

If Kevin Sumlin goes 4 – 4 or worse in SEC Conference play in 2016 he is DONE at Texas A&M…PERIOD.

Yes…the Auburn game on Saturday on The Plains is HUGE for both Gus Malzahn and Kevin Sumlin and that’s what makes the game so Damn delicious to those of us in the peanut gallery!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The TENTH Season of Coaches Hot Seat Is Now Underway! – Let’s Play Football!

 

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

It’s been quite awhile since we have typed this so this feels rather good….give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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1.  Les Miles, LSU – We waited a day to write the Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Analysis to talk to our good friends in Baton Rouge…who have been struggling mightily in recent weeks….about the Tigers loss to Wisconsin, and needless to say the general feeling from the folks we have talked to down on the bayou now believe they have been taken for a ride and left on the side of the road by Les Miles and more importantly that as one LSU-alum friend told us….

“It’s clear now that Les Miles will take down the LSU football program on the cross of his massive ego!”

An interesting record that we have been tracking here at Coaches Hot Seat is Les Miles’ record against Power 5 Conference Schools since the beginning of the 2014 college football season which after the loss to Wisconsin now stands at….

2014:  5 – 4
2015:  7 – 3
2016:  0 – 1

12 – 8  (.600)

….which is a STUNNING and DISASTROUS record considering the amount of talent that ANY coach can recruit to LSU on a regular basis and that over the past three football seasons the TRUTH is…

LSU has had and now has on campus as much talent as any team in college football….PERIOD!

We asked a good LSU-Cajun friend of ours in Baton Rouge to tell us what is coming down the pike for Les Miles and the Tigers and his response on Tuesday was…

“I don’t know, but if LSU loses to Jacksonville State Les Miles and Cam Cameron will be fired on Saturday night before they leave the athletic offices and Ed Orgeron will be the interim head coach of the Tigers.”

Hmmmm….checking the latest FCS Coaches Rankings from September 5, 2016 Jacksonville State is now ranked…

#5 in the country in FCS Football

…but has what…

10 to 15 times LESS talent than LSU?

Yep…that’s about right and if Jacksonville State does beat LSU on Saturday Les Miles should be fired on the spot before he leaves Tiger Stadium and he should be forced to clean-out his office before he leaves the LSU campus….in our humble opinion….ditto for Cam Cameron.

If LSU does beat Jacksonville State next up is a Mississippi State team at home that just lost to South Alabama and Auburn football program on the road that on offense looks in about much disarray as a team can look above the Pee Wee football level in America!

Speaking of the Auburn Tigers…

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2.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – Beyond the fact that the Clemson offense didn’t look like it had a Damn clue to what it was doing on Saturday night which may or may not have something to do with improved play by the Auburn defense, we here at Coaches Hot Seat just don’t…

Have A Damn Freaking Clue what Gus Malzahn was doing on Saturday night with the Auburn offense and quarterbacks and we have the sneaking suspicion that Gus Malzahn Doesn’t Have A Damn Freaking Clue what he is doing either!

The calculus at Auburn is very easy to understand…

Anything less than 8 wins and Gus Malzahn and more than likely Auburn AD Jay Jacobs are both DONE on The Plains come December and with the loss to Clemson and this schedule left to be played….

Arkansas State
Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

….we only see THREE…MAYBE….FOUR more sure wins left on Auburn’s schedule and giving Gus Malzahn FOUR wins from the remaining 11 games that means the Tigers will have to find FOUR other wins somehow in 2016 and even if the Auburn defense is much improved does anyone think the Tigers offense will be anything but…

The Biggest Damn Disaster in College Football in 2016?

Good Luck to Gus Malzahn and if Auburn loses to Arkansas State at home on Saturday….

Gus Malzahn might very well be fired before he leaves the Auburn campus on Saturday night!

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3.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Both Georgia Tech and Boston College looked like very AVERAGE football teams in their little sojourn to Dublin, Ireland to play a football game, and if there is one thing that Steve Addazio cannot afford in 2016 is for his Eagles football team to be AVERAGE again and with that loss to the Yellow Jackets Addazio is now facing the BIGGEST game of his tenure at BC this Saturday in an away game against…

UMass

With a road game at Virginia Tech up next there is the real chance that…

Steve Addazio could be fired on Saturday evening if his BC Eagles lose to UMass and in our opinion in his FOURTH season at Boston College if Addazio should lose to UMass on Saturday…

Steve Addazio SHOULD be fired on Saturday night!

Just for the record Steve Addazio’s records in FOUR seasons at BC now stand at:

Overall:  17 – 22

ACC:  8 – 17

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4.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – The MOST shocking number in the Southern Miss win over Kentucky by the score of…

44 – 35

…was that Southern Miss scored 44 points on Kentucky in Mark Stoops 37 th game as the head coach of the Wildcats and Mark Stoops is supposed to know something about defense…right?

RIGHT!

Here’s the ugly reality for Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats right now:

If Southern Miss can score 44 points on Kentucky then even some of the anemic offense in the SEC will be able to hang 30 points on the Wildcats this season and we have some news for fans of UK Football…

Kentucky will not be able to score 30+ points on offense in 2016 against SEC-level defenses…PERIOD!

Up next for Kentucky after that nothing less than…

A Total Freaking Disaster of a Loss to Southern Miss

At Florida

The reality is that the expectations are so low for Kentucky Football right now both inside and outside the Kentucky Athletic Department that Mark Stoops could probably get away with not getting to 6 wins in 2016 in his FOURTH year on the job, but we rather doubt that Mark Stoops could survive less than 5 wins this season even if his buyout is $10 Million Plus Dollars as has been reported in the Kentucky media.

With Florida, South Carolina, Alabama, Mississippi State, Georgia, Tennessee, and Louisville still left on Kentucky’s schedule and with that loss to Southern Miss there is the very REAL chance Kentucky wins FOUR or less games in 2016 and if that happens in Mark Stoops FOURTH season at UK then this is all very simple:

The Mark Stoops era at Kentucky is OVER….PERIOD!

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5.  Clay Helton, USC – The first call from a USC-alum friend of ours came during the week of The Masters in April and that call went something like this….

“The USC Football program is in total disarray….I was just over there and it’s like no one is in charge of anything.”

Since then the calls from USC-alum friends our of the same vain kept coming and then in August we got a call from an USC-alum friend of ours that also happens to be a surgeon and who is thus busy as Hell who says on the phone…

“I think this season is going to be a Complete F-ing Disaster for USC!”

After the 52 – 6 Total Damn Debacle against Alabama when the USC Football Team basically…

Did Not Show Up in the Second Half of the game against Bama

….the “Complete F-ing Disaster” of a season is officially underway and up next for Clay Helton and the Trojans is Utah State in the Coliseum on Saturday and if the Trojans should lose this game at home with a road game against Stanford up next…

Clay Helton might not make it to the SIXTH game of the season against Colorado as the head coach of the Trojans!

One thing we know for Damn Sure…

It’s a Total Damn Embarrassment for USC and the Pac-12 Conference that in our opinion…

USC Football Gave-Up and QUIT against Alabama in the second-half on Saturday

…and if the Trojans QUIT and lose to Utah State on Saturday Clay Helton MUST be fired right after the game…PERIOD!

By the way….in Two-Plus Seasons at USC now…Clay Helton’s record after the loss to Alabama…

6 – 5!

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6.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Kevin Sumlin must have seen his coaching career flash before his eyes in the fourth quarter against UCLA on Saturday because to lose to the Bruins in that way….meaning in letting UCLA come back and win the game after the Aggies were way up…would have been the WORST scenario for Sumlin who is flat-out right now on…

A Knife’s Edge relative to his job status in College Station

…and who cannot afford ANY train crashes in 2016, and with that in mind and with the win over the Bruins now in the books the only thing that matters now is somehow…someway for the Aggies to get to…

8-Plus Wins in 2016

…because ANYTHING less than 8-Plus Wins in 2016 for the Aggies and Kevin Sumlin’s head coaching career will come to screeching halt come December!

Let’s look at what A&M has left on their schedule:

Prairie View
At Auburn
Arkansas – Dallas
At South Carolina
Tennessee
At Alabama
New Mexico State
At Mississippi State
Ole Miss
Texas – San Antonio
LSU

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Well…Kevin Sumlin and his Aggies SHOULD be able to find 7 more wins in their last 11 games….with THREE Cupcakes on their plate…which means A&M only needs to go .500 in SEC play so…

There really are NO more excuses…right Kevin Sumlin?

RIGHT!

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7.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – The expectations for Purdue football are at such a low level now that Darrell Hazell could probably get away with win 4 or 5 wins in his FOURTH season on the job and get a FIFTH season which is…

So Damn Freaking Pitiful

….since we remember well the Joe Tiller years at Purdue BUT with that opening season win over Cupcake Eastern Kentucky the Boilermakers still have these teams to play in 2016…

Cincinnati
Nevada
At Maryland
At Illinois
Iowa
At Nebraska
Penn State
At Minnesota
Northwestern
Wisconsin
At Indiana

…and if Purdue can’t get to 4 or 5 wins with what they have left then Darrell Hazell SHOULD be fired but then if we were the AD at Purdue we would have told Hazell before the season something like…

“This is your fourth season at Purdue Darrell and it’s either six wins and a bowl or we are moving on to another coach in December. Now Good Luck to you Son.”

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8.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – The way Fresno State has played the last few years we gave the Bulldogs little chance to beat Nebraska in Lincoln on Saturday and not surprisingly the Huskers won the game 43 – 10 which runs Tim DeRuyter’s record over the last THREE seasons at Fresno to…

9 – 18

…which is the kind of record that will get your ass fired at Fresno State and why in 2016 it’s either…

Six Wins Plus in 2016

…or the Tim DeRuyter-era at Fresno State will be over shortly after the Bulldogs last game against San Jose State on November 26.

Up next for Fresno State is Sacramento State which should be a WIN and then a critical road game at Tulsa which Tim DeRuyter and his Bulldogs will NEED to win with a lot of tough Mountain West Conference games still on their schedule.

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9.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The Pitiful Reality of Tennessee Football in Butch Jones FOURTH season on the job is that in the first game of the 2016 season at home against a team in Appalachian State which the Vols have at least FOUR to FIVE more times talent than….

The Tennessee Football Team was just NOT ready to play

…and having your team ready to play is the responsibility of the head coach Butch Jones and by all rights…

Appalachian State SHOULD have beaten Tennessee

…which would have put Butch Jones at the top of the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings even ahead of the…

Total Damn Disaster that is Les Miles in Baton Rouge!

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Forget about the Battle of Bristol and the show that will accompany a football game being played at a NASCAR track because the TRUTH is…

Butch Jones is coaching the biggest game of his coaching career on Saturday against Virginia Tech

…because if Virginia Tech which won SIX games in 2016 and has a first-year head coach in Justin Fuente can beat Tennessee in Butch Jones FOURTH year on the job then…

What exactly is the point of Butch Jones being the head coach at Tennessee?

There is NONE is the answer to that question!

Forget about the game against Florida in Knoxville on September 24…because if Butch Jones and his Vols lose this game to Virginia Tech on Saturday….

The Entire Damn Vol Nation is going to IMPLODE and Butch Jones will be sitting on the Hottest Seat in America!

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10.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – With Kent State’s expected loss to Penn State in the opening game Paul Haynes record at Kent State now stands at:

Overall:  9 – 27

MAC:  6 – 17

Yes…those kind of records will get you fired at Kent State and before the Golden Flashes travel to play at Alabama on September 24 Paul Haynes and his football team REALLY need to win their next two games against…

North Carolina A&T
Monmouth

Good Luck Paul Haynes!

We Got The Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU When We Were in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida for The Players Championship Last Week From A Buddy of Ours From Baton Rouge and We Have Some News For Les Miles —> Either Win BIG Son Or You Are DONE Down on the Bayou!

 

We here at Coaches Hot Seat waited until The Players Championship which many of us attended this past week in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida to write about Les Miles in 2016 because we knew that one of our good buddies from Baton Rouge would be joining us at the beach and that we would get the…

Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU

….and as they say in the Bayou…

That Is Exactly Damn What We Got!

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A Helluva lot has been written about Les Miles near dismissal as the head football coach at LSU last November, but let’s cut through the Bullshit and get the following down on the barrelhead:

If the state of Louisiana have had a pot to piss in Les Miles would have lost his job last November…PERIOD!

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In the end it was the FACT that the state of Louisiana was flat-broke last November that save Les Miles Precious Ass and with thousands of folks in Louisiana hurting it would have looked very Damn bad to have sent Les Miles packing with a $18 Million Dollar buyout and there you have why Les Miles is still the head coach at LSU today.

As for the reasons why Les Miles should have been fired last November let’s go Joe Friday and give you a Helluva good reason why Les Miles is very Damn lucky to have a head coaching job in Baton Rouge today:

Since LSU lost to Alabama in the 2011 – 2012 Bogus BCS National Championship Game in New Orleans which encompasses the last FOUR college football seasons Les Miles has put up records of…

Overall:  37 – 14

SEC:  20 – 12

OK…those aren’t bad Overall and SEC Win/Loss records over the past FOUR seasons for Les Miles at LSU…BUT….let’s go Joe Friday again and say this time…

Just The Facts Ma’am

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….because we are talking about LSU Football here where Bozo the Clown could recruit Top 10 Recruiting Classes each year and where Les Miles has averaged over the last EIGHT seasons signing the…

No. 7 Recruiting Class in American according to Rivals.com

Oh….but if you are landing Top 10 Recruiting Classes on a regular basis…as Les Miles has done at LSU…one would think that your Win/Loss records against teams with .500 or better records would be pretty Damn good…right?

RIGHT…but NOT for Les Miles folks!

Let’s bring Joe Friday in with the FACTS and as they say on the Bayou…these FACTS are not pretty!

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In the last FOUR seasons Les Miles LSU Football Teams have played….

34 Games against FBS teams with .500 or better records and Les Miles’ record in those 34 games is…

19 – 15  (.559)

In the last FOUR seasons Les Miles LSU Football Teams have played…

29 Games in the SEC against teams with .500 or better records and Les Miles’ record in those 29 games is…

16 – 13  (.552)

Oh…that’s bad enough if not outright Very Damn Embarrassing for LSU Football….BUT….did we mention that Les Miles LSU Football Teams have lost…

FIVE straight games to Nick Saban and Alabama?

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So here is what you have on your hands now fans of LSU football….

You have a head coach in Les Miles that not only has lost FIVE straight games to Nick Saban and Alabama but you have a head coach in Les Miles that is making over $4 Million Dollars A Year posting winning percentages against teams with .500 or better records of…

Overall against .500 or better teams = .559

SEC against .500 or better teams = .552

Uhhh…got that is A Damn Joke Les Miles and by all rights your Ass Should Have Been Run Out of Baton Rouge and WOULD have been run out of Baton Rouge last November if…

The State of Louisiana had not been Dead Damn Broke!

Now let’s get back to the….

Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU

…that our buddy from Baton Rouge gave us in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida this past week which is…

“Les Miles HAS TO beat Alabama and win the SEC West in 2016 or he will not be employed at LSU in early December.”

Well Hell…that’s about as….

Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU

…that one can get and with that mind let’s go to LSU’s 2016 Football Schedule to see if Les Miles is indeed looking at his last season down on the Bayou:

Wisconsin – Lambeau Field
Jacksonville State
Mississippi State
At Auburn
Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

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Well…Bozo the Clown or any Coonass in Louisiana…a term that Nick Saban knows well…could win…

4 Games coaching LSU in 2016

….but the question is how many games will Les Miles win in 2016 or rather the question is can Les Miles and his LSU Football Team BEAT Alabama and win the SEC West Division to save Les Miles job?

Not A Damn Chance in Hell….in our humble opinion!

How many games will Les Miles win in 2016….in our humble opinion?

7..maybe 8 Wins…for Les Miles and his LSU Football Team in 2016

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And if that happens as the Great Dandy Don Meredith used to say…or rather sing….

Turn Out the Lights on Les Miles Ass on the Bayou!

Kevin Sumlin In the Middle of A Total Disaster In College Station and Owed A $20 Million Dollar Buyout….Oh….$20 Million Dollars Is NOTHING To Texas Oil Boys…and There Is A TOP College Football Head Coach Who Will Accept the Texas A&M Head Coaching Job For the Right Amount of Money…And “Incentives” Of Course! – Gig ‘Em Aggies

As we detailed in this Coaches Hot Seat Blog just a few weeks ago about how Completely Average LSU Football has become under Les Miles…

11 College Football Head Coaches Facing CANNOT Lose Games in Week Thirteen, Coaches Hot Seat Blog

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….with Miles posting a record of…

10 – 10  (.500)

…in his last 20 games against SEC Conference schools with records of .500 or better there is yet another school in the SEC Western Division that has fallen off the Earth in the last couple of years in the…

Texas A&M Aggies under Head Coach Kevin Sumlin

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…..who in some ways has an even WORSE resume than Les Miles in recent years and with that let’s…

Go Joe Friday and get “Just the Facts Ma’am…Just the Facts”

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….on Kevin Sumlin’s FOUR years at Texas A&M:

Kevin Sumlin, Head Coach Texas A&M – 2012 – 2015

Overall:  36 – 15

SEC:  17 – 15

In the last FOUR seasons under Kevin Sumlin Texas A&M has played…

36 FBS Teams with .500 or better records

…and in those 36 games Sumlin has posted a record of…

21 – 15

Hmmmm….for someone that has made OVER…

$16 Million Dollars over the past FOUR seasons

….we would classify a record of 21 – 15 against FBS teams with .500 or better records as…

Average at Best

….but wait until you see Kevin Sumlin’s record against SEC Conference teams with .500 or better records….Oh…it’s Very Damn Ugly Indeed!

Over the past FOUR seasons Kevin Sumlin has played 28 SEC Conference teams with .500 or better records and in those 28 games Sumlin has posted a record of…

13 – 15

Yes…you read that right…the $16 Million Dollar Plus Man even with Johnny Manziel for TWO seasons is now sitting on a record of…

13 – 15

….against SEC Conference Teams with .500 or better records over the past FOUR seasons and that coupled with….

The Total and Complete Meltdown of the Texas A&M Football Program right now in College Station

…has rightfully led to Kevin Sumlin’s rear-end being on the No. 1 Hot Seat after an…

Emergency Meeting at Coaches Hot Seat on Thursday to consider Kevin Sumlin’s Job Status which included plenty of cold beer, chips & salsa, chocolate chip cookies, and Kentucky bourbon!

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Oh…here’s the kicker for fans of Texas A&M Football…yesterday someone who we will call…

“A Person DEEP in the Know”

….called a Coaches Hot Seat member in the wake of Texas A&M quarterbacks Kyle Allen and Kyler Murray transferring from the school and said…

“Blue Horseshoe loves Bluestar Airlines!”

No…that’s not right….”A Person DEEP in the Know” actually said to the Coaches Hot Seat member relative to the current situation at Texas A&M….

“A Top and I mean TOP head coach in college football will take the Texas A&M job if offered.”

Coaches Hot Seat Member: “I know which TOP head coach you are talking about….but how much money would A&M have to throw out to land this TOP head coach?”

A Person DEEP in the Know: “$7.5M plus over 6 seasons plus…incentives.”

Coaches Hot Seat Member: “Guess those incentives would be an interest in some oil wells or something similar?”

A Person DEEP in the Know: “Exactly.”

Oh…this TOP College Football Head Coach is NOT Houston head coach Tom Herman who we have heard is waiting for the Texas job and might or might be interested in Texas A&M if they came calling….rather this TOP College Football Head Coach we are talking about has a LONG track-record of success and is in our opinion…

One of the FIVE best College Football Head Coaches in America

So let’s update the Total Disaster that is Texas A&M Football as of December 18, 2015:

Kevin Sumlin who has been paid OVER $16 Million Dollars over the past FOUR football seasons is sitting on records of…

21 – 15 against the 36 FBS teams with .500 or better records he has played

13 – 15 against the 28 SEC teams with .500 or better records he has played

…and…

One of the TOP head coaches in College Football would accept the Texas A&M job in January if offered…for the right amount of money and “incentives” of course

Is there anyone else thinking what we are thinking right now?

Kevin Sumlin has FOUR years left on his Fully Guaranteed Contract at…

$5 Million Dollars Per Year x 4 Years = $20 Million Dollars Total

…and somewhere there are some oil boys near Houston sitting in a cigar smoke-filled with room saying something like…

“We can raise the $20 Million to pay Sumlin off easy by passing the pot around…but can we land a TOP coach to replace Sumlin and what will that cost us?”

Memo to the Oil Boys in that Cigar Smoke-Filled Room from Coaches Hot Seat:

Yes…you can raise the $20 Million to pay Sumlin off easily.

Yes…you can land a TOP College Football Head Coach for…

$7.5 Million Per Year x 6 Years = $45 Million Dollars

PLUS

“Incentives” that we would value at $7 to $10 Million Dollars over the next 25 years.

Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

Kevin Sumlin and his Texas A&M football team play Louisville on Wednesday, December 30 in the….

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl in Nashville, Tennessee

….which with a loss to a very AVERAGE Louisville team would turn the Total Disaster in College Station into…

A Roaring Complete and Total Disaster

….and by our back-of-the-envelope figuring Texas A&M could have a new head coach in place by….

January 12, 2016

….at the latest!

Gig ‘Em Aggies!

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Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

21.  David Shaw, Stanford – As a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members sat in Stanford Stadium on Saturday night watching Stanford whip Hapless and it seemed almost Coachless UCF an interesting observation was made by one CHS member:

“Is it just me or do the Stanford football players seem to going back to the size physically they were (which was puny) when Walt Harris was run off The Farm and replaced with Jim Harbaugh in 2007?”

This idea that the Stanford football players are getting increasingly smaller under head coach David Shaw compared to the size they were under Jim Harbaugh and in the first couple of years of the Shaw reign has been a topic of hushed discussion for over a year now among a small group of Coaches Hot Seat members which blew-up into a wide ranging discussion on Saturday night with lots of comments thrown in from the peanut gallery like…..

“How small the Stanford football players seemed at fan day in August. Hell, my boy in the ninth grade was bigger than half the Stanford team!”

“How it seems the Stanford football players are losing rather than gaining weight year-over year under David Shaw.”

“Doesn’t it seem like the Stanford football players are less cut, less in shape looking and overall not in the condition they were in during the Jim Harbaugh years?”

What was the final conclusion to this discussion you ask among the participating Coaches Hot Seat members which included a couple of CHS Members chiming-in from their hotel room in Knoxville, Tennessee?

Stanford football IS GETTING SMALLER and LESS PHYSICAL overall under David Shaw and all it takes for one to understand this FACT is for anyone to watch a tape of the Northwestern game from this season to see a smaller team in Northwestern push Stanford around all over the field on the way to a 16 – 6 win over the Cardinal.

Of course, the proof is ALWAYS in the pudding as someone once said and this week Stanford plays at USC which has ALWAYS had larger and stronger players across the board than Stanford but for a few seasons during the Jim Harbaugh years there was a time when USC was flat-out…

Intimidated by Stanford Football

….which culminated in 2009 Stanford – USC game at the LA Coliseum when the Cardinal led Jim Harbaugh team CRUSHED the Trojans by the score of…

55 – 21!

Unfortunately USC has won the last two games in the Stanford – USC series and it will be fascinating to see what the Trojans are able to do with Stanford at the LA Coliseum on Saturday in Steve Sarkisian’s second year as the head coach at USC after narrowly beating the Cardinal 13 – 10 last season on The Farm.

Will Stanford get pushed around by a team in USC that has five to six times as much talent as Northwestern which thoroughly dominated Stanford in the first game of the season or is there something…..anything….that David Shaw can do to get the Cardinal offense on track before the Pac-12 schedule really cranks up with several teams on the schedule that can easily score 30 or more points a game which would leave the pitiful Stanford offense in the dust?

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We shall all see on Saturday night with a decent amount of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Los Angeles for the Stanford – USC game at one of our favorite venues to watch football games the LA Coliseum which a few Coaches Hot Seat members have been watching football games at for almost 40 years now. Needless to say with the remaining games on Stanford’s schedule as listed below…

At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

….there is a REAL chance that Stanford does NOT win 6 games in 2015 if they play like they did against Northwestern and of course if Stanford doesn’t win 6 games in 2015 Stanford WILL be looking for a new head football coach come December for Damn sure!

22.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson is now in his fourth season coaching the Tulane Green Wave and has posted win/loss records of…

Overall:  12 – 27

CUSA:  9 – 15

….with ONE winning season and bowl game in the books in his first three seasons.

Is Tulane the kind of place that should expect to be playing .500 or better football on a regular basis?

We sure the Hell don’t know why not and after Tulane started the 2015 season with losses to Duke and Georgia Tech the Green Wave has these games left on the schedule:

Maine
UCF
At Temple
Houston
At Navy
At Memphis
UConn
At Army
At SMU
Tulsa

Hmmm…..with the above games remaining is there anyone that believes Tulane will win at least 6 games in 2015?

Didn’t think so which takes us to…

Coach up your team Curtis Johnson or the Hot Seat will just get HOTTER!

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23.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – What a PERFECT opportunity Saturday is for…

Pretty Boy Kingsbury

….to both get Coaches Hot Seat off his back, have us drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER, and get a win for Texas Tech football when the Red Raiders travel to Fayetteville on Saturday to play an Arkansas team that is coming off a loss to Toledo and is according to our buddies in Ft. Smith, Arkansas…

In Total and Complete Disarray Right Now

….with people in Fayetteville pointing fingers at who was responsible for the Toledo loss and therein lies the…

PERFECT opportunity for Pretty Boy Kingsbury and his Red Raiders!

Can Texas Tech really go into Fayetteville and beat an Arkansas team coached by someone (Bret “Ohio State LOVES THEIR CUPCAKES” Bielema) who it seems is more interested in who Ohio State is playing each week (Northern Illinois) than in getting his team ready to play football games?

YES is that answer to that question and a loss in this spot for Bret Bielema to Texas Tech would not only get Pretty Boy Kingsbury OFF the Hot Seat it would send Bret “Anyone seen Urban Meyer eating CUPCAKES today” Bielema into a close orbit around the Sun for the foreseeable future with the SEC Conference schedule still ahead!

Memo to Pretty Boy Kingsbury:  If you score 35 points in this game you will beat Arkansas and YES if you beat Arkansas on Saturday we will drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

Good Luck Pretty Boy!

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24.  Les Miles, LSU – With wins over Mississippi State AND Auburn Les Miles has an opportunity to go from the frying pan to the catbird seat if LSU can get a win over a Totally Hapless Auburn team in Baton Rouge on Saturday and consider this for a moment that IF LSU can beat Auburn the Tigers will then have the below games left on their schedule before they play at Alabama on November 7:

At Syracuse
Eastern Michigan
At South Carolina
Florida
Western Kentucky

Hell, if LSU can beat Mississippi State and Auburn we see no reason why LSU can’t roll through their next FIVE games and show up in Tuscaloosa on November 7 at….

7 – 0

….to play the Crimson Tide BUT hold it just a second…after Alabama the Tigers still have to play…

Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M

….so even if LSU was 7 – 0 on November 7 Les Miles could still lose his last 4 games and end the 2015 season at…

7 – 4

….and rightfully get his ass run out of Baton Rouge come December!

Up first though before Les Miles possibly gets his ass run out of Baton Rouge in December is the Auburn Tigers in Tiger Stadium and don’t tell anyone Les because what we are about to tell you is just between you Les and us here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Coaches Hot Seat whispering through the computer to Les Miles:  “Our contact at Auburn tells us the Auburn coaching staff is in full-on panic mode right now because they know and Gus Malzahn knows that if Auburn loses to LSU on Saturday and Malzahn drops to 10 – 7 in his last 17 games that Malzahn’s ass will be on fire and on the Hot Seat!”

Good Luck Mad Hatter and OH…if you lose to Auburn at home in Tiger Stadium when Auburn is in “full-on panic mode” your precious ass will be climbing back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!

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25.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over Liberty University which is where that Total Nutcake Bernie Sanders was speaking on Monday but we will say about Bernie Sanders that even though he is a Total Nutcake at least he is a Total Nutcake with personal principles that he sticks to whether you disagree with him or not!

Getting back to Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia Crazy Boy Holgorsen has a chance to get his ass off the Hot Seat next week with a win against Maryland at home on September 26 which would be nice since WVU travels to play at Oklahoma in their fourth game of the season after the Terps come to Morgantown.

For now though with West Virginia having an off-week Crazy Boy Dana Holgorsen remains on the Hot Seat right where Crazy Boy belongs!

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26.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa got a nice win at Iowa State on Saturday but then…

Iowa State has LOST 21 of their last 26 games

…so beating Iowa State is akin to beating a Ladies Senior Citizen Bridge Club’s auxiliary football team that meets on every Tuesday night in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa so we hope that fans of Iowa football aren’t getting too confident after a win over the Cyclones especially with Pitt coming to town on Saturday.

We will tell everyone why a loss to Pitt on Saturday would be especially devastating to Kirk Ferentz and Iowa:

Pat Narduzzi is in his first year as a head coach at Pitt or as a head coach anywhere and if Pat Narduzzi can in his third game as a head coach roll into Iowa and beat the Hawkeyes on the road where exactly does that leave Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz?

Right in the septic tank on the farm is where that leaves Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz!

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27.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Several Coaches Hot Seat members have been traveling to the Great State of Nebraska for over two decades on business and thus we have had a long love affair going with Nebraska and the Good People of that state and even when we put Mike Riley on the Hot Seat we have done so reluctantly since Mike Riley is a lot like the Good People of Nebraska in that Riley is almost…

Impossible NOT to like

….but this is Coaches Hot Seat and when you are the head coach at Nebraska you have to win “X” number of games to stay OFF the Hot Seat and thus why this Saturday’s game at Miami is so Damn important for Mike Riley and Nebraska football as they head towards Big Ten Conference play.

Of course, this Nebraska – Miami game is also very important for Hurricanes head coach Al Golden and thus we have set-up here in South Florida a..

Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up

….with the winning coach getting his ass off the Hot Seat for now and the losing coaching getting the heat turned up on his ass Come Monday….

….and no doubt many times in the future during the rest of this college football season as well.

Good Luck to Mike Riley and Al Golden in this Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaches game!

28.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – Mike MacIntyre and Colorado got a nice win over UMass at home in Boulder on Saturday and now the Buffs face a CRITICAL game against Colorado State on Saturday which is a match-up that Colorado MUST WIN with the Pac-12 conference schedule looming over their shoulders and with the first Pac-12 game against Oregon in Boulder on October 3.

Can Colorado beat Colorado State on Saturday to get Mike MacIntyre off to a 2 – 1 start with Nicholls State up next which should be 3 – 1 before the Buffs start Pac-12 play against Oregon on October 3?

We don’t see why the Hell not!

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29.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora and North Carolina got a win over CUPCAKE North Carolina A&T on Saturday and now getting back to Big Boy College Football UNC will host Illinois on Saturday in Chapel Hill which is being coached by interim head coach Bill Cubit.

Yep…North Carolina CANNOT lose to this Illinois team that was in Complete and Total Disarray just a few weeks ago because a loss in this spot to drop to 1 – 2 with the below schedule still looming…

Delaware
At Georgia Tech
Wake Forest
Virginia
At Pitt
Duke
Miami
At Virginia Tech
NC State

…would put both Fedora and the Tar Heels in a precarious position as ACC Conference play gets underway on October 3 with a game at Georgia Tech.

Memo to SPF which is short for Six Pack Fedora here at Coaches Hot Seat: DO NOT LOSE TO Illinois! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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30.  Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – Frank Beamer and the Hokies loaded-up on a CUPCAKE this past Saturday with a win over Furman and now it is back to reality for Virginia Tech with a game at Purdue in Week 3 in what is for Damn sure…

A MUST WIN Game for Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech

….because a loss in this spot to a Purdue football team that has won FIVE total football games the past three seasons would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and fully reveal the current….

Hapless State of Virginia Tech Football

….which in what may be Frank Beamer’s last season in Blacksburg is certainly something that Coach Beamer does not want to be fully revealed for all the world to see.

With a game at East Carolina in Week 4 a loss to Purdue might just lead to the Hokies starting the 2015 season at…

1 – 3

….and fighting for their lives just to get to a pitiful bowl game and is a mediocre season and pitiful bowl game really how Frank Beamer wants to go out at Virginia Tech after a legendary coaching career?

NO is the answer to that question and thus YES Virginia Tech had better Damn beat Purdue!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

There are just a few reasons why a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and by far the main reason a coach finds his ass on the Hot Seat is…

He did not win enough football games!

But…there are other reasons a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and two of those reasons that we have had to account for in recent years have been…

1.  A Head Coach like Charlie Weis who in our opinion did not give a Damn about coaching the Kansas football team in the proper way which also makes Charlie Weis a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being….with that being the opinion of EVERY American here at Coaches Hot Seat

AND

2.  Coaching like a Scared Coward which is how four SEC head coaches coached their teams on Saturday….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzhan, Auburn

….with three of the above COWARD COACHES now finding their precious and COWARDLY asses on the Hot Seat for their COWARDLY behavior because they lost their games and Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan now just one loss away from finding his ass on the Hot Seat with Auburn playing at LSU this coming Saturday! Besides coaching in a COWARDLY way which clearly in our opinion ALL FOUR of the above SEC head coaches did on Saturday what really pisses us off here at Coaches Hot Seat is when head coaches who have guaranteed contracts that will pay them Millions of Dollars whether they win or lose so they will never have to work a day the rest of their lives…

Still Coach like COWARDS!

It was just Shameful and a Disgrace to the American Republic forget about an embarrassment to the SEC that head coaches…

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzahn, Auburn

….were on Saturday…just so Damn SHAMEFUL!

We will get more into the COWARDLY behavior of head coaches….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina

…in the Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis BUT is it just us here at Coaches Hot Seat or is everyone else thinking the same thing?

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The Southeastern Conference reached its PEAK at the same time that Paul Finebaum was negotiating the contract for his book in New York City in the spring of 2013 for what eventually became this….

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….and after the past two college football seasons and especially this past weekend has become what historians will mark as the Beginning of the End of the SEC? Of course, anyone that knows Paul Finebaum knows that Paul has a stellar record of latching onto public figures just before they are sent off to prison so Finebaum signaling the end of the SEC with his Idiotic book would not only be the MOST right thing in the world it would make a Helluva lot of sense also!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Let’s bring out the Man in Black to…

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Cyclones head coach Paul Rhoads is on a pretty bad run of late and the loss to Iowa over the weekend on Iowa State’s home field by a score of…

31 – 17

….didn’t help matters and just by comparison over Paul Rhoads last 26 games coaching ISU he has posted a record of….

6 – 20

…and the previous head coach at Iowa State Dan McCarney posted a record over his last 26 games at ISU of…

12 – 14

….and also by comparison puts the winning percentages of Rhoads and McCarney at…

.231 for Paul Rhoads in last 26 games at ISU

.462 for Dan McCarney in last 26 games at ISU

Sorry, but Paul Rhoads can be the nicest and hardest working guy in the world and by all accounts we have heard he is both BUT we caught some of the Iowa – Iowa State game on Saturday and to put it bluntly…..

Iowa State DOES NOT look like a very well coached football team right now…PERIOD.

Oh….up next for Iowa State…

At Toledo which just beat Arkansas in Fayetteville!

Good Luck with that Paul and here’s a tip…don’t complain this week like some kind of LOSER about Ohio State’s schedule when you have a team to get ready to play Toledo!

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2.  Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team had Notre Dame right where they wanted the Irish on Saturday…

Up by a point with just a few minutes to play with the Irish starting QB out and a back-up QB in for Notre Dame that had hardly played at all in a meaningful live college football game

….and how exactly did Mike London’s Virginia team find a way to lose this time around?

By allowing that back-up QB that had next to no experience throw a ball to a receiver that was allowed to get behind a defensive back for some reason which ended up with a touchdown!

Geez…you really cannot make-up some of the stuff that has happened to Virginia football in recent years BUT this loss to Notre Dame takes the cake, the pie and every Damn dessert in the kitchen and with that loss London’s record at UVA dropped to…

Overall:  23 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…over the last six seasons which is bad from whatever direction one looks at those records.

Up next for Virginia…

William & Mary
Boise State
At Pitt

Our recommendation to Mike London = WIN all three of those games son!

3.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Oh, you thought it was a big deal that the Florida Gators beat New Mexico State 61 – 13 on Week 1?

Uhhhh….NOT….because Georgia State which had won ONE football game the last two seasons just beat New Mexico State on their home field!

This is Doug Martin’s third season as the head coach at New Mexico State and his record at NMSU now stands at:

Overall:  4 – 22

Enough said on the Hot Seat situation at NMSU!

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4.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and the Purdue Boilermakers got their first win of the 2015 season over Indiana State on Saturday which means about as much as a grizzly bear crapping in the woods of Yellowstone National Park meaning it means NOTHING AT ALL!

The 2015 college football season begins again for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers on Saturday with Virginia Tech coming to town and this is a game in our opinion that….

Purdue Should Win

….IF Purdue plays with the same intensity that they played with against Marshall in Week 1.

In the “Just By Comparison” department Darrell Hazell has now been the head coach at Purdue for 26 games and his win/loss record stands at…

5 – 21

….and the coach he replaced at Purdue who was fired and run out-of-town posted a record in his first 26 games at Purdue of….

10 – 16

….which should tell everyone that is paying attention why exactly Darrell Hazell is on the Hot Seat!

5.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt looked OK at times against Georgia on Saturday but in the end a loss to the Dawgs by a score of…

31 – 14

…..leaves Derek Mason’s win/loss record in his second season at Vandy now at….

3 – 11

…and let’s hope Mason’s record after this coming Saturday’s game against Austin Peay is…

4 – 11

….or Mason might not make it as head coach at Vandy to the Ole Miss game in Oxford on September 26!

Looking over the rest of Vanderbilt’s 2015 schedule…

Austin Peay
At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

….if Vandy improves just a little bit more as the season progresses MAYBE the Commodores can win…

4 Games in 2015

….which would be an improvement by ONE win over 2014 and would give Mason one more year in Nashville to get Vandy back to their “James Franklin-years” winning ways and with that Derek Mason now has his goal for 2015….

4 Wins!

Coach ‘Em Up Derek!

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6.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson and the Indiana Hoosiers beat Florida International on Saturday by the score of 36 – 22 and when one considers that FIU had won….

6 Games

…the last three seasons combined Indiana beating FIU meant about as much as a wild pig finding an acorn in Alabama which means that win over FIU means NOTHING AT ALL!

Up next for Kevin Wilson and Indiana….a very tough Western Kentucky team that is very simply a…

CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson and the Hoosiers but especially a CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson!

7.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – In Week 2 Paul Petrino’s Idaho team lost to USC in Los Angeles by a score of…

59 – 9

….and with that loss Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho now stands at….

2 – 23

…..which is a winning percentage of…

.080%

….and the last Idaho head coach Robb Akey got fired at Idaho after posting a winning percentage of…

.286%

…over 6 seasons and thus why Paul Petrino is clearly on the Hot Seat!

Up next for Idaho….

Wofford!

OK…this should be a WIN for sure for Paul Petrino and the Vandals!

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8.  Ron Turner, Florida International – After seeing in person an average Stanford team made of balsa wood whip UCF on Saturday night we now understand how FIU beat UCF in Week 1 and thus it was no surprise to us that an average Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday.

FIU has won…

6 Games

…in three seasons under Ron Turner and FIU should get its SEVENTH win under Ron Turner on Saturday when they play

NC Central

….not that anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue who in the Hell NC Central is!

We do know that Ron Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat whether Dave Wannstedt of Fox Sports thinks Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat or not!

Memo to Dave Wannstedt:  Ron Turner’s precious ass is on the Hot Seat and FIU beating UCF in Week 1 was No Damn Big Deal!

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9.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game saw the same thing that the other 100-plus Coaches Hot Seat members saw watching the Sooners – Vols game on TV and that was….

Tennessee head coach Butch Jones had the Sooners on the ropes for much of the game and if not for COACHING LIKE A COWARD and COACHING NOT TO LOSE the Vols could have delivered the knockout punch to Oklahoma many times in the game and when you COACH LIKE A COWARD your precious ass ends up on the Hot Seat and that is where Butch Jones finds his precious ass on this Monday morning!

Oh by the way….below are Butch Jones win/loss records at Tennessee which make a Helluva lot more sense now after seeing him COACH LIKE A COWARD in the Oklahoma game:

Overall:  13 – 14

SEC:  5 – 11

Sorry Butch Jones…we don’t give a Damn if you inherited a wreck of a football program from the combo of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley because IF you are going to the head coach at Tennessee and a head coach in the SEC you first and most importantly must…

NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD!

As Coaches Hot Seat members discussed the outcome of the Oklahoma – Tennessee game on Saturday night after watching a day of college football and that Badass Madison Bumgarner almost throw a perfect game against the San Diego Padres two things were mentioned the most about Butch Jones’ coaching performance against Oklahoma:

1.  Butch Jones COACHED LIKE A COWARD and in many ways COACHED SCARED against Oklahoma on Saturday

AND

2.  Butch Jones clearly DOES NOT trust his quarterback Joshua Dobbs because there were numerous instances in the first and second half of the game against the Sooners where Butch Jones and his new and OLD offensive coordinator could have unleashed Dobbs on OU and put the game out of reach of the Sooners BUT Butch Jones didn’t do that which brings to mind a quote from the Great Bill Walsh on quarterbacks that one of us heard Coach Walsh say a Helluva long time ago:

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Bill Walsh:  “If you don’t trust your quarterback to make plays and decisions on the field then you don’t have a quarterback and you don’t have a leader. A head coach must prepare his starting quarterback to the best of his ability and then trust his quarterback on gameday. To do anything but that would lead me to believe that a team either has the wrong head coach or wrong quarterback….or both. A head coach must trust his quarterback because that trust is fundamental to playing winning football.”

YES….we miss Coach Walsh and YES there are dozens of college football head coaches across America that DO NOT TRUST their quarterback and SHAME on them for that idiocy!

Sorry Butch Jones BUT it was YOU that cost the Tennessee Vols that game against Oklahoma because very simply Butch Jones you…

COACHED LIKE A COWARD….PERIOD.

Up next for Tennessee…

Western Carolina

…which is a SURE win and then COWARD Butch Jones and the Vols play…

At Florida

…and we would recommend that Butch Jones NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD against the Florida Gators because if the Vols lose to the Gators again….

Your ass Butch Jones and thus YOU will find yourself on the Face of the Sun!

SunEarthOh!

 

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10.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members had been watching a tape of the Toledo – Arkansas game on Sunday and after watching things for awhile someone said check the box score on the game for Arkansas and after doing that what about these numbers for the Hogs offense?

Arkansas ran the ball 31 times for 103 yards

Arkansas threw the ball 53 times completing 32 for 412 yards

What in the Freaking Hell Bret Bielema?

So the working theory in Fayetteville must be that Arkansas can run the ball against SEC West teams but not a team from the MAC Conference? Is that right Bret Bielema who seemed in the last week very Damn concerned about Ohio State’s schedule and not the Hogs opponent which just whipped your team’s ass in Little Rock Bret and landed your ass back on the Hot Seat in the process!

YES…like Butch Jones…Bret Bielema COACHED LIKE A COWARD on Saturday but it was a different kind of COWARDICE that Bielema brought out against the Toledo Rockets….it was COWARDICE plus STUPIDITY because if Arkansas had not panicked and had just ran the ball down Toledo’s throat instead of throwing the ball all over the lot they could have won by two touchdowns but instead like in Knoxville and in Columbia…

COWARDLY behavior by the head coach won the day

….and with that COWARDICE the SEC now has FIVE head coaches on the Hot Seat….

Derek Mason, Vanderbilt
Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Les Miles, LSU

….and if the COWARDLY coaching continues at least three of the above head coaches will NOT be coaching their teams in 2016!

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Memo to Bret Bielema:  This week Bret focus on getting your football team ready to play against Texas Tech because in case you didn’t know it your win/loss records at Arkansas of…

Overall:  11 – 16

SEC:  2 – 14

….are NOT the records that should lead to a head coach popping-off about ANYTHING relative to other football teams around the country especially the Defending National Champions in Ohio State which BEAT Alabama in the Semi-Final Playoff Game in case you forgot Bret!

Oh….lose to Texas Tech Bielema and your ass will be like the Persian Gulf region the last time a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members were in it during the spring and summer of 1991 for Desert Storm which was….

Hotter than Hell!

cc: Jeff Long, Arkansas Athletic Director

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2 – Steely Dan Singing Deacon Blues – Bob Stoops and the “Hungry Meter” for College Football Head Coaches

We are introducing a new feature at Coaches Hot Seat for the 2015 football season and beyond…the….

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week “X”

…..and to introduce this feature we will use a song from the 1970s Super Band Steely Dan…

Deacon Blues

“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”

Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan singing Deacon Blues!

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2

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1.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. FIU – After the close 1-point win over FCS team Southern Illinois in Week 1 there is just no way in Hell that Kevin Wilson’s Hoosiers can lose to FIU at home this week because a loss in this spot to a pitiful team from South Florida…

No…not the Miami Hurricanes

…would send Wilson’s ass into a part of the Universe that is Hotter than our Sun and last time we checked the Sun is pretty Damn HOT!

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2.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Iowa – In Paul Rhoads last 25 games at Iowa State his Cyclones have posted the downright startling and depressing win/loss record of…

5 – 20

….and rightly so Paul Rhoads’ ass is now hotter than that coffee that some Idiot spilled on himself and sued McDonald’s about years ago and won BIG which we seem to recall was Pretty, Pretty Hot Coffee which means a loss in this spot to the Iowa Hawkeyes and fellow Hot Seat coach Kirk Ferentz would be nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

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3.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Iowa State – Consider this in the Total Disaster that Iowa Football has become in recent years under the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz:

In Iowa’s last 40 games the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz has posted a win/loss record of…

20 – 20!

That’s right the University of Iowa….or rather the fans of Iowa Football and in many ways collectively college football fans across America that watch all of these college football games on TV have collectively paid Kirk Ferentz over the past four football seasons something on the order of….

$15 Million Dollars

….for 20 Stinking Wins which works out to the amazing number…

$750,000 Per Freaking Win!

Seriously…you CANNOT make this kind of stuff up and thus why Kirk Ferentz and his Iowa Hawkeyes CANNOT lose to Iowa State on Saturday because if they do the above number goes up to….

$800,000 Per Freaking Win!

Hell, if Kirk Ferentz keeps up this Mediocre Football at Iowa by the end of the 2015 college football season he could be getting paid something on the order of…

$1,000,000 Per Freaking Win!

…and that’s good money IF you can find people STUPID enough to pay that kind of money for MEDIOCRITY which Kirk Ferentz has found in the state of Iowa IN SPADES!

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4.  Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Rice – Anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog over the past EIGHT college football seasons knows that we have some good fishing and hunting buddies in the Austin, Texas area who are Texas grads and love showing us “City Boys” what life is like in the Republic of Texas while hunting and fishing and every so often we haul those “Texas Boys” up to Montana to show them what life is like when you really go into backcountry where the trout are large and the grizzly bears will eat your ass if you are not careful!

Getting back to the subject at hand which is….

The Rolling and Raging On Fire Wagon Train

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…that is now Texas football we asked our Austin fishing and hunting buddies what the temperature was down in Texas relative to Charlie Strong and Texas football and their replay was…

“Let’s just say that if Texas loses to Rice on Saturday night Charlie Strong’s house could be on the market and sold before the Horns play Cal the next Saturday!”

Uhhhhh….we would call that the temperature of some wings we used to eat at a chicken wing place in Jacksonville Beach, Florida when a few of us were serving in the US Navy that were the Hottest Damn Wings we have ever put in our mouths and the very simple one word name for those wings was:

“Chernobyl”

This is very simple….Charlie Strong and Texas CANNOT lose to Rice on Saturday night…PERIOD.

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5.  Al Golden, Miami vs. FAU – If there is ONE coach in college football that knows he MUST produce in 2015 meaning win a Helluva lot of football games it is Miami’s head coach Al Golden and in Week 2 Golden and his Hurricanes play Florida Atlantic on Friday night and a loss in this spot with these SIX games up next…

Nebraska
At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
At Clemson
At Duke

…would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and send Al Golden’s ass onto the face of an O Class Star which in case you didn’t know…

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Is One Helluva Hot Place for your ass to be sitting on!

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6.  Les Miles, LSU vs. Mississippi State – We don’t have any fishing and hunting buddies in the state of Louisiana but we have heard that if LSU loses to Mississippi State on Saturday night that Les Miles will not be traveling back to Baton Rouge with the LSU football team but will instead be taken immediately to Cape Kennedy in Florida where several influential LSU boosters have arranged to have Les Miles and his ass launched on a NASA rocket to…

Calvera the closest neutron star to Earth which is approximately 250 to 1000 light-years from Earth

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….which it will take The Mad Hatter several million years to reach and we have also heard that in order to really stick-it-to Les Miles during the entire trip to Calvera those LSU boosters have arranged it so Les Miles will be forced watch a continuous loop replay of the January 2011 BCS Title Game loss to Alabama which most agree was the…

Boringest College Football Game of All Time!

Memo to Les Miles:  Don’t Lose to Mississippi State!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

7.  David Shaw, Stanford vs. UCF – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were on a conference call this week with a “non-athletic related contact” of ours on the Stanford campus who keeps his ears to the ground for us on The Farm since we have to work for a living and cannot hang around the Stanford Athletic Complex and whip the football team into shape which this Stanford football team needs desperately and our “non-athletic related contact” at Stanford said something very Damn interesting on our weekly conference call:

“If Stanford loses to UCF on Saturday there is a very good chance that Stanford doesn’t win 6 games this season because of how fragile and weak this team is and how tough the remaining schedule is.”

Hmmmm….this Stanford football team is “fragile and weak?”

Yep…that was our opinion of the Stanford football team we saw in August on The Farm although our term of…

Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses

…for this the 2015 Stanford football team seems to be a little more on the nose to us!

Let’s look at Stanford’s remaining games in 2015

UCF
At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

Yep…if Stanford cannot beat UCF which just lost to FIU on their home field then…

There is NO WAY IN HELL that Stanford gets close to 6 wins this season which would further validate what we have seen happen in recent years that has turned the once Very Damn Tough Stanford Football Program into the…

Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses

…that will fold-up like a cheap tent bought from Wal-Mart if even the slightest gust of wind hits the campground on The Farm in this case!

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YES….UCF is a CANNOT lose game for Stanford head coach David Shaw but then when the cake has already been mixed and baked there isn’t a Helluva lot that one can do to that cake once it is sitting on the counter of the kitchen!

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8.  Mike Leach, Washington State vs. Rutgers – With Washington State about to look down the pipe of NINE Pac-12 Conference Games that will ALL be very difficult wins for the Cougars if there is a game that Mike Leach and his WSU football team needs to win it is this Saturday’s game against Rutgers because a loss in this spot to fall to 0 – 2 on the season and it will next to impossible for Washington State to get to 6 wins in 2015 and that would make…

Three Out of Four Losing Seasons for Mike Leach at Washington State

YES…beating Rutgers is CRITICAL for Mike Leach and the Cougs!

Bob Stoops

9.  Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. Tennessee – There is no doubt in our minds that Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops would like to get the Sooners back into the running for a National Championship before he is politely told that his services are no longer needed in Norman since being just a little better than average is eventually not going to cut it at OU even for Bob Stoops, BUT when you talk to people around Norman and we mean folks that have some insight….not total insight but some insight….into what is going on the feeling that used to pervade Oklahoma football under Stoops….

That Dammit We ARE Going To Win Big 12 Championships and National Titles or Die Trying

….just NO LONGER EXISTS in Norman and there in a nutshell is what is wrong with OU football.

We are always coming up with new ways to rank college football head coaches here at Coaches Hot Seat and one way we came up with this past Summer was the “Hungry Meter” meaning on a 1 to 10 scale how “Hungry” is EVERY college football head coach to win Games, Championships and National Titles either at his current school or a bigger school if a great job opportunity presented itself. We have been tossing around the idea of publishing our opinion on the “Hungry Level” for each college football head coach BUT it is such a subjective opinion based on admitted less-than-perfect information we have held it back….so far.…BUT we will tell you of what “Hungry Level” we have OU head coach Bob Stoops at on a 1 to 10 scale to win Games, Championships and a National Title with the Sooners which is of course just our opinion:

Bob Stoops was a “10” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2001 to 2008

Bob Stoops was a “9” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2009 to 2011

Bob Stoops was an “8” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2012 to 2014

Bob Stoops current rating on the “Hungry Meter” = 7.8

In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat ANY college football head coach who has a rating of less than “9.5” on the Coaches Hot Seat “Hungry Meter” in today’s incredibly Damn competitive college football landscape has NO DAMN CHANCE to win a Conference Championships and National Titles.

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Two Coaches Hot Seat members will be traveling up from Atlanta to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game and they will report back on what they see from Bob Stoops and the Sooners….and our guess is….OU loses to Tennessee and ends up with 7 or 8 wins on the season and Bob Stoops is DONE at Oklahoma come December either in reality meaning no longer the head coach at OU or just a coach going through the motions hauling down millions of dollars a year for “X” number of years into the future.

Just our opinion.

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10.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Virginia – Of course both Brian Kelly and Virginia head coach Mike London BADLY need a win in this spot BUT this is a game that Brian Kelly CANNOT lose after the Week 1 crushing of the Hapless Texas Longhorns that are still the Texas Longhorns even though they are now Hapless with a Capital “H” under Charlie Strong! With Georgia Tech coming to South Bend a week from Saturday a loss in this spot will not only dash the hopes of Irish faithful all over the country but would set-up the biggest game of Brian Kelly’s career at Notre Dame because a loss to Virginia followed by a loss to the Yellow Jackets at home would more than likely be a irreversible stake into Kelly’s future unless the Irish ran the table the rest of the way and there CANNOT be a Human Being alive on the Earth that believes the Irish could pull that off!

Our guess….Notre Dame whips Virginia just as UCLA did in Week 1….BUT if the Irish flop-around and lose this game to the Cavaliers Brian Kelly might as well travel on down to Cape Kennedy and get on that rocket with Les Miles that is headed to the closest neutron star because South Bend will be a terrible place to be next week even if Kelly will have to watch along with Miles a continuous loop of the 2011 BCS Title Game between LSU and Alabama which thankfully for ALL college football games was So Damn Boring it gave us the College Football Playoff!

Launch of Atlas V GPS IIF-4 from Cape Canaveral AFS

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

11.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – Now in his third season at Idaho head coach Paul Petrino has posted a record of…

2 – 22

…which includes an opening 2015 season loss to Ohio by a score of 45 – 28.

YES…2 – 22 will land your ass on the Hot Seat and that is exactly where Paul Petrino is at and has been for years now!

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12.  Ron Turner, Florida International – We are not quite sure how FIU beat UCF in Orlando on Thursday…more on George O’Leary who is now on the Hot Seat due to the loss to FIU in a bit…but a win is a win and a win over UCF moves Ron Turner down the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings BUT if Turner is going to get off the Hot Seat for good he will need more than 4 wins in 2015 and HELL if you can beat UCF in Orlando you can beat a pitiful Indiana team in Bloomington this coming Saturday….right?

RIGHT!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

13.  David Shaw, Stanford – Dozens of Coaches Hot Seat members were in the San Francisco Bay area and around Stanford University for work and various professional educational things in August so many of us were able to take-in and size-up the Stanford football August preseason camp and by the third week of August a consensus had been reached that we came very close to publishing in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog that we held back on because….WELL….maybe we were wrong and why send out alarms to Stanford’s first opponent Northwestern about potential problems with Stanford football so we kept our mouths shut.

After seeing in person and watching on TV the Stanford – Northwestern game this past Saturday we can now say….

WE WERE NOT WRONG!

….about the Complete Freaking Disaster that we were watching unfold in August on The Farm which has led to the…

Complete Freaking Disaster that is Stanford Football right now!

Let’s quickly summarize what several Coaches Hot Seat members saw in August with Stanford football by quoting a CHS Member on what he thought of the Cardinal’s August camp practices:

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“If you held all of Stanford’s August football practices in a balsa wood house not only would the balsa wood house still be standing there would not be one dent in any of the balsa wood!”

What the Hell does the above mean exactly?

Stanford Football NO LONGER PLAYS FOOTBALL under head coach David Shaw but rather Shaw just holds pillow fights among the players so the…

Candy Ass Coaches and Candy Ass Players can act like they are football players when in FACT

….any random sorority football team from any university in the country could whip the Hell out of the….

Candy Ass Coaches and Candy Ass Players that call themselves Stanford Football!

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On top of Stanford Football players being Candy Asses that are coached by Candy Asses did anyone else catch the Stanford offense against Northwestern?

Got there are Thousands of Pee Wee football teams across America that not only hit harder but are better coached and more sophisticated than the Stanford offense right now?

What a Complete Freaking Joke Stanford Football is right now and in our opinion the current state of Stanford Football goes straight to the head coach David Shaw who also in our opinion…

Wouldn’t know an honest day’s work if it hit him in the ass!

No David Shaw…sitting in your office listening to jazz music is NOT working IF you are the head coach of the Stanford football team which by the way you have turned into the…

Biggest Group of Candy Asses in the American Republic today!

Congratulations David Shaw you should be Mighty Damn Proud of Yourself because you are going to do the Next Too Damn Impossible….

Be handed a championship football program from Jim Harbaugh and less than three years later be now sitting on a record over your last 15 games of…

8 – 7

….and headed towards getting your precious jazz listening ass run right off The Farm!

Up next for the Candy Asses in Cardinal:

UCF this coming Saturday on The Farm which just lost to FIU at home!

Here’s a thought:

The Stanford football coaches and players should all get in their best Sunday dresses out and find some nice pillows from the nearby Macy’s at the Stanford Shopping Center for the UCF game and do what they best and love so very much in style…

Have a Pillow Fight!

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Fear the Tree? No…not any longer on The Farm!

Fear the Pillows being swung by the Candy Ass Coaches and Players on the Stanford NOT A Football Team anymore!

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14.  Les Miles, LSU – Let’s give the award…

Thank God Almighty that those Idiots weren’t around during World War II

…to the LSU athletic department that could not find a way to move a game one day forward to Sunday after the McNeese State – LSU game was cancelled on Saturday which lots of…

Flunky Paper Pushers in the LSU Athletic Department

….couldn’t somehow do who no doubt would be selling apples on the local street corner if they weren’t working in athletics where morons can hang around forever whether they are actually good at their jobs or not who and couldn’t just say this simple Damn thing:

“Sorry Folks….the McNeese State – LSU game is cancelled…see everyone back here at Tiger Stadium tomorrow for a 5PM for kick-off.”

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Would the above had meant that the McNeese State football team would have driven the 130 miles back to their campus in Lake Charles to spend the night and driven back to Baton Rouge on Sunday for the game?

YES….Big Freaking Deal!

Would the above have meant that LSU Athletics would have spent a few extra hundred thousand dollars in overtime for people working in and around Tiger Stadium?

YES…Big Freaking Deal!

Would the above have meant that LSU athletic administrators otherwise known as Precious Candy Ass Paper Pushers would have had to do some extra work over the weekend?

YES…Big Freaking Deal!

Bottom-Line: LSU Athletics is run by Complete Freaking Morons that cannot move a football game…..A Freaking Football Game…one day forward!

YES…it is true…there are Complete Freaking Morons in position of authority all over America right now and LSU Athletics is a prime example of that FACT!

Getting back to Les Miles the LSU Tigers now open the season at Mississippi State and if Les Miles’ football team loses that game…

Expect your ass to be the temperature in the Bayou on a HOT August Day Les Miles!

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15.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – PBK’s….Pretty Boy Kingsbury…football team at Texas Tech got a 59 – 45 win over FCS team Sam Houston in Week 1 which means about as much as a grain of sand being washed into the ocean and in Week 2 the Red Raiders play UTEP at home in a game that very simply…

PBK…Pretty Boy Kingsbury….CANNOT LOSE

….with Arkansas in Week 3.

Oh…Arkansas beat UTEP in Week 1 by the score of 48 – 13 so everyone here at Coaches Hot Seat will be watching this UTEP – Texas Tech game and score very closely!

Good Luck to you PBK!

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16.  Steve Sarkisian, USC – USC whipped an overmatched Arkansas State team in Week 1 and the Trojans play a very weak Idaho team in Week 2 and then USC gets…

The Balsa Wood Candy Ass Pillow Fight Boys of Stanford in Week 3

….so USC should EASILY be 3 – 0 when they head to play Arizona State in Tempe on September 26.

As for Steve Sarkisian and his recent “troubles” we can only say to Steve….

Focus on Family and Football Steve and keep the Focus there….PERIOD.

17.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – North Carolina looked better…especially the UNC defense under Gene Chizik…than the Tar Heels looked in 2014 BUT the OLD Ball Coach’s South Carolina team looked AVERAGE at best so was UNC’s performance against the Gamecocks something to be impressed with or just….whatever?

In our opinion….WHATEVER….because there are probably some high schools team in the South that could whip the South Carolina team that the OLD Ball Coach ran out onto the field in Charlotte!

Coming up for Larry Fedora and North Carolina:

NC A&T
Illinois
Delaware

Hell…North Carolina SHOULD be…

3 – 1

…when go to Atlanta to play Georgia Tech on October 3!

If not…Larry Fedora knows where he will be….no NOT on the beach with is shirt off wowing the ladies and looking for someone that will take a picture of him but rather….

On the FREAKING HOT SEAT!

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18.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – It’s not just the Iowa football team that is a Complete Freaking Disaster at the University of Iowa after reading about who Iowa just hired as the new president of the school….

The University of Iowa Campus looking west from Old Capitol and the Pentacrest.

Rocky Start for University of Iowa President, Rekha Basu, Des Moines Register

“Less than 2 percent of the faculty thinks J. Bruce Harreld is qualified to be the University of Iowa’s next president; among the college community at large, it’s 2.6 percent. By contrast, more than 90 percent of respondents to a campus survey gave high ratings to the other three finalists.

Nonetheless, Harreld was named UI’s 21st president Thursday in a unanimous vote from the Iowa Board of Regents. In so doing, they chose a former business executive with no experience in university administration, whose resume lists as his present employer a company he has since acknowledged no longer exists.

Harreld has also admitted he’ll have a steep learning curve for the job, and that his “unusual background” will mean he’ll need a lot of teaching, coaching and mentoring from those who criticized him. It’s good he acknowledged that, and gracious to extend the olive branch. But considering he’ll earn $590,000, plus $200,000 annually in deferred compensation, on-the-job training shouldn’t be necessary.”

What in the Freaking Hell?

Of course, the Iowa regents hiring this Buffoon as the new University of Iowa president makes the school paying football coach Kirk Ferentz $4 Million Dollars a year make sense….well…NOTHING can make paying Kirk Ferentz all that money for mediocrity make sense which brings us to the…

$4 Million Dollar Man Kirk Ferentz

…who over the last five seasons while earning around $20 Million Dollars has posted records of…

Overall:  34 – 30

Big Ten:  19 – 21

…which is a good gig if you can’t be the president of the University of Iowa who it seems is NOT qualified for the job while hauling down almost $800K a year!

Anyone else starting to notice a pattern here at the University of Iowa and if so what does that pattern mean?

We don’t know the exact answer to that question but there are plenty of people here at Coaches Hot Seat that are NOT qualified for lots of jobs at the University of Iowa that make six-figures a year and if we can just get to the right person in Iowa no doubt we will be hired in a Helluva hurry…and kept around whether we FAIL at our jobs or not!

Who is dumber….the folks at LSU that can’t move a football game one day forward or the folks at Iowa that pay a football coach millions of dollars for mediocrity and just hired a president that in our opinion that doesn’t know his ass from the side of a barn when it comes to run a major state university?

It’s Iowa by an eyelash!

The N-O Man: The University of Iowa’s new president has no experience, no ideas, and flubbed his own resume, Kembrew McLeod, Slate.com

Oh, these are just Complete Freaking Idiots at the University of Iowa!

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19.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – As we said last week in the Preseason Coaches Hot Seat Ranking Analysis we were hoping for a…

Herculean Effort

…by Mike MacIntyre and the Colorado Buffs in 2015 and what in the Hell did the CU Buffs do in the first game against Hawaii?

The CU Buffs looked like Complete Freaking Buffoons at the opening of the game against the Warriors and it really looked like the head coach and coaching staff showed up at the first game on the sideline without coaching during August camp at all!

Geez….Mike MacIntyre…what in the Hell is going on in Boulder son?

Our recommendation for Colorado head coach Mike MacIntyre: Get things fixed with your football team this week against UMass because if you lose that Week 3 game to Colorado State which has a first-year head coach in Mike Bobo the rest of the 2015 football season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster especially with the Oregon Ducks coming to town on October 3.

If Colorado somehow lost to UMass this Saturday in Boulder Mike MacIntyre and the entire CU coaching staff should be fired before they leave the field and a local high school staff should be hired to coach the rest of the season!

Memo to Mike MacIntyre:  Get Off Your Ass Son!

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20.  Mike Leach, Washington StateReally Mike Leach?

Lose to Portland State in the home opening game in Pullman?

Really Mike Leach?

Your Football Team looked like SHIT on Saturday Mike Leach and since we know you can coach we can only draw ONE conclusion after that pitiful loss to Portland State:

Mike Leach just no longer gives a SHIT because his Washington State football team now plays like SHIT!

In Mike Leach’s last 15 football games at Washington State the Cougars are…

3 – 12

…and those 3 wins last season were over….

Portland State
Utah
Oregon State

Oh…Portland State and Oregon State had losing records last year so in the last 15 games Mike Leach has beaten…

1 Team with a winning record

…and anyone that recalls the Washington State – Utah game from last season knows it took a miracle for the Cougars to win that game!

What is going on at Washington State exactly with Mike Leach?

Well…it’s just our opinion…but Mike Leach was always a terrible fit for Pullman, Washington because look at where Mike Leach was living when he could live anywhere he wanted to live…

Key West, Florida

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Still…Mike Leach won a lot of football games at Texas Tech in Lubbock, Texas which isn’t Key West, Florida either so there really is no excuse for Mike Leach to be losing to Portland State in the first game of this third season at Washington State so then just what in the Hell is going on in Pullman?

We think we know BUT we are going to hold our tongue and watch and see IF…

Mike Leach and Washington State just flat out QUIT in 2015 after the opening season loss OR if they come back strong this week in a very tough game at Rutgers.

Your choice Mike Leach and Washington State BUT if Mike Leach does fail at Washington State he will be remembered as…

The Football Coach that got run out of Lubbock

AND

The Football Coach that QUIT in Pullman

Great thing is Mike Leach will be able to determine how this story ends and if it ends badly whether we like Mike Leach or not if the current trend continues in Pullman we will light Mike Leach’s ass up!

Is everyone reading the Coaches Hot Seat Blog starting to understand that we are TOUGHEST on the people we expect the most from?

That’s way ALL alumni and fans should be….don’t accept anything less than…

EXCELLENCE

…and you have a Helluva lot better chance of actually getting…

EXCELLENCE!

21 – 30 Post Week Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!