Tag Archive: Lovie Smith

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Laziest Ass College Head Coaches!

Time is getting short for several of these Hot Seat Coaches so let’s get right to it and bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give it straight to these coaches with the bark on!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  David Beaty, Kansas – We are not really sure what is going on at Kansas…

David Beaty still firing away, Tom Keegan, Lawrence World-Journal

…but head coach David Beaty did fire his OC Doug Meacham last week which is like tossing your Executive Officer overboard on US Navy ship as you head towards a reef so you can make sure you hit the reef in the just the right way but come now….in 4 seasons at Kansas Beaty is sitting on records of…

Overall:  5 – 37

Big 12:  1 – 29

…and the Jayhawks still have to play in 2018 games against…

At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

….and we don’t see KU winning any of those games so everyone knows where this is going and as John Wayne said playing character Davey Crockett in the movie The Alamo…

“I always counted on dying, it’s just the where and the when I’m not sure of right now!”

It’s down the Where and the When…just like with Davey Crockett at The Alamo!

2.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – Ole Steve Politi wrote after the Rutgers loss to Maryland on Saturday…

Rutgers has become Blowout U under Chris Ash, Steve Politi, Star-Ledger

….things are really a Damn mess at Rutgers and Chris Ash in 3 years on the job is sitting on records of…

Overall:  7 – 24

Big Ten:  3 – 20

….with still games to be played against in 2018….

Northwestern
At Wisconsin
Michigan
Penn State
At Michigan State

Rutgers is not winning another game in 2018 and when you are a head football coach and in your…

31 st game at a school

…as Chris Ash was coaching on Saturday against Maryland and your team…

Gets Its Ass-Whipped All Over The Damn Field

…and has been…

Getting Its Ass-Whipped All Over the Damn Field All Damn Season

….it matters little that you have a….

$10.35 Million Dollar buyout on December 1, 2018

…because your ass MUST BE BOUGHT OUT….unless of course the people running Rutgers Athletics needs to have their asses fired and run out of town!

3.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – What we saw on Saturday in the Tennessee – Auburn game wasn’t just an…

Inferior Football Team in Tennessee by 2 or 3 times that beat Auburn on its homefield

….but watching a replay of the game we saw….

Auburn Football Players QUITTING

…which makes sense because we wrote in this blog last week that…

Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team!

Now…when we say that Gus Malzahn has QUIT coaching the Auburn football team we are saying that because we believe there is a reason why Malzahn has QUIT and that reason…in our humble opinion is…

Gus Malzahn in a Petty, Selfish, and in a Big Ego kind of way has created a toxic place for his assistant coaches to work and that has now seeped down to the Auburn players and unless someone owns up….make that Gus Malzahn accepts direct responsibility for his Pitiful Pettiness, Selfishness, and Massive Ego…and apologizes for acting like a Spoiled Pompous Arrogant Ass to his coaches and players…NOTHING is going to change at Auburn and the now…

4 – 3 Tigers

…will be lucky to win another game….YES lucky to even beat Liberty at home in November since Liberty just beat Troy….this season with these games left:

At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

Maybe Gus Malzahn is hoping that Auburn doesn’t win another game and that he will get his ass run off The Plains with $32 million dollars in early December but….we have it on good authority that if Auburn collapses down the stretch and it’s obvious as Hell that Gus Malzahn has Totally Damn QUIT on his football team that Malzahn will have go into court to get that $32M or take a lot less if Auburn runs his ass out of town because when you Flat-Out QUIT your ass is not fulfilling the obligations inherent in being the…

Head Football Coach of the Auburn Tigers!

What is probably coming for Gus Malzahn and the Auburn football team?

Trouble….we see lots of trouble ahead with potentially the President at Auburn getting fired followed by Gus Malzahn getting fired and anyone else that signed-off on the Idiocy of giving someone a 7 year $49 million fully guaranteed contract getting their asses out of Auburn….that’s the trouble that is coming plus a few other items as well if this does indeed implode that will make the insanity around Terry Bowden getting run from Auburn almost 3 decades ago look sane by comparison!

4.  Randy Edsall, Connecticut – During this past Summer when about a dozen Coaches Hot Seat members were on our 2018 See America RV Tour which included visits to 30 US states we drove from Gettysburg Battlefield in Pennsylvania to the Hartford area to spend the night before heading into Boston the next day. We went to Hartford because we wanted to meet with a UConn alum + booster of ours to talk to him about Randy Edsall and he met us at a great barbecue restaurant near the Hartford airport called the Bear’s Smokehouse.

We cannot recommend Bear’s Smokehouse – The Official BBQ of the UConn Huskies by the way – enough to folks love barbecue, and on that night when we asked our UConn alum + booster buddy about Edsall his response was a Sigh and then…

“It’s a Damn Mess and has been for awhile. (meaning UConn football.) In my opinion anything less than 6 wins this season and Randy is gone, but who would we hire?”

Our UConn alum + booster passed along a few other tidbits about UConn football we will not post in this spot for various reasons, but if Randy Edsall does need to win 6 games in 2018 then the 1 – 5 Huskies with only a win over FCS Rhode Island and still to play these games…

At South Florida
UMass
At Tulsa
SMU
At East Carolina
Temple

….better Damn get busy but come now…is there anyone on Earth thinks UConn will win more than one more game the rest of this season?

Didn’t think so!

We happen to know 3 or 4 coaches we think could turn around and win at UConn in a short amount of time which we passed along to our UConn alum + booster and let’s hope he has passed those names along to the folks at UConn because it looks like 2018 is going to be nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster for the Huskies!

5.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – By all rights North Carolina should have beaten Virginia Tech on Saturday before losing 22 – 19 to the Hokies at home and with that loss Larry Fedora is…

5 – 16

….in his last 21 games at UNC and things don’t get any easier with these games left in 2018…

At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

We would guess that UNC maybe wins 2 more games to finish at…

3 – 9

…for the second straight season and Larry Fedora’s buyout on December 1, 2018….

$12.2 Million Dollars!

Now that is Freaking Hilarious because we would not give a contract like that to Nick Saban but then we don’t work in the Total Damn Freaking Fantasyland that is a college campus where ADs make contracts with coaches with…

Other People’s Money

…so what the Hell do they care if they create Totally Damn Stupid contracts?

Hint: They don’t care at all!

Thus why there are so many asinine contracts in college football and also because Athletic Directors and Presidents are…

So Damn Easy To Roll!

6.  Brent Brennan, San Jose State – In Brent Brennan’s 19 th game as the head football coach at San Jose State his team got beat by Army….at home mind you…by the score of…

52 – 3

…which leaves Brennan’s records at…

Overall:  2 – 17

MWC:  1 – 10

Oh…San Jose State now at 0 – 6 on the season still has to play in 2018 games against…

At San Diego State
UNLV
At Wyoming
At Utah State
Nevada
At Fresno State

That looks like at best…a record of….

1 – 11

…for San Jose State in Brennan’s second year on the job and that is not something we would tolerate if we were the AD at SJSU but then come now…if we were the AD at SJSU we would be interested in actually…

Finding a Head Football Coach that could Win Some Football Games

…not looking for a coach that checks off a few boxes and gets recommendations from a few people….many of them out of the game of football because they also got their asses run out of jobs!

That’s just us now and then you have ADs that Don’t Know Their Asses From the Side of a Barn when it comes to hiring football coaches…hiring fraud football coaches that have No Damn Idea how to lead a football program and to win football games on a regular basis across America!

7.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – Louisville lost to Boston College on Saturday by the score of…

38 – 20

…which drops the Cardinals record down to 2 – 5 on the year with games still to play against…

Wake Forest
At Clemson
At Syracuse
NC State
Kentucky

We don’t think Louisville will win another game this season and that Mark Stoops and the Kentucky Wildcats will DESTROY Louisville in the last game of the season which will be followed by Bobby Petrino being fired by the AD at Louisville.

That is all.

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – On Saturday Lovie Smith coached his 30 th football game at Illinois against Purdue and his team lost at home to a team with roughly the same amount of talent in Purdue by the score of…

46 – 7

…and what you saw on Saturday was…

Jeff Brohm – A College Head Coach That Has A Damn Clue

Lovie Smith – A College Head Coach That Has No Damn Clue

….and if you cannot figure out a way to not Get Your Damn Ass Whipped All Over The Damn Field in your 30 th game as a head coach going against a team with the same talent as you…

Your Ass Is NEVER Going To Figure It Out!

Lovie Smith is his third year coaching the Illini and his records now stand at…

Overall:  8 – 22

Big Ten:  3 – 18

…and Illinois still have games left against…

At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

We don’t see Illinois winning another game in 2018 but Lovie is being paid…

$5 Million Dollars A Year

…and has a buyout on December 1, 2018 of…

$12.6 Million Dollars!

Freaking Hilarious!

Josh Whitman is the AD at Illinois and not only was the hiring of Lovie Smith to coach a college football team…

Incredibly Asinine

..but to give a guy who had never been a college head football coach the above contract in our opinion means that…

Josh Whitman’s ass should be fired today

…but come now…we are talking about an AD here where being…

Stupid As Hell is actually a Freaking Job Requirement!

Anyone that tells you someone is smart because they are an attorney we note that Josh Whitman’s Wikipedia entry says he was graduated…

Summa Cum Laude from the Illinois School of Law!

Now that’s Freaking Hilarious because when Lovie Smith was hired by Illinois three years ago a friend of ours that has worked in the NFL for 30+ years said to us….

“This will turn out to be the Stupidest Hire in recent college football history!”

Close…but there’s a few even worse with Charlie Weis being hired by Kansas easily in our opinion the…

Worst Hire since the end of World War II in major college football

….but Lovie Smith being hired by Illinois might just be #2!

9.  Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – So let’s get this straight….

Paul Johnson had a long-term grudge against Louisville defensive coordinator Brian VanGorder so Johnson’s Georgia Tech team whips the Cardinals by a score of…

66 – 31

….but then that same team led by the same coach loses to Duke at home a week later by the score of…

28 – 14

Now what Damn sense does that make and why in the Hell was Paul Johnson not fired on the field after the Duke game?

We have several Georgia Tech alum friends been fed-up with Paul Johnson’s Horseshit for years now and being good engineers who work their asses off in their day jobs they don’t let that the Yellow Jackets look like Total Shit on the field really bother their daily lives but come now…

Over the past two seasons Georgia Tech’s combined record now stands at…

8 – 10

…and Tech still has to play in 2018 games against…

At Virginia Tech
At North Carolina
Miami
Virginia
At Georgia

What…Tech might win 2 more games in 2018 and finish with a second straight 5 win season in Paul Johnson’s 11 th year at the school where Johnson seems more interested in settling scores with other coaches than winning Games and Championships?

Exactly why we would have fired Paul Johnson on the field right after the Duke game on Saturday!

10.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – It’s not easy to find out what’s going on at schools around the country with their football programs on a day-to-day basis with the way coaches hide their football programs from most everyone, but we hear enough things from our contacts and by reading things in the media to form opinions and something we have been kicking around at Coaches Hot Seat for about a year is new Coaches Ranking called the…

Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches

…and in our opinion if we had to list the 10 Laziest Ass College Head Football Coaches who in our opinion do a Helluva Lot less work than other coaches around the country the that list would start with…

1.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn
2.  Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State

Why is it our opinion that Gus Malzahn and Mike Gundy are the 2 Laziest Ass College Football Head Coaches in America?

We don’t have to answer that question because…it’s our opinion as Americans and US Military Combat Vets and Mike “I Am A Man but a Lazy Ass Man In Our Opinion” Gundy can stuff that opinion…

Where The Sun Doesn’t Shine!

Even if Mike Gundy is Lazy As Hell….and in our opinion Ole Gundy is Lazy As Hell and has been for a couple of years now as he has shopped his ass around to any school with a job opening that might consider his ass…be lucky you didn’t hire him because Gundy is Lazy As Hell in our opinion….what has landed Gundy on the Hot Seat is the performance of his football team which after losing to a…

Pitiful Kansas State team on Saturday

…is now 4 – 3 on the season and things aren’t going to get any better because…

When Your Head Coach is Lazy As Hell

…and you still have to play games against…

Texas
At Baylor
At Oklahoma
West Virginia
At TCU

…there’s a decent chance the Cowboys don’t win another game this season and checking the USA Today Coaches Salaries list we see that Gundy’s buyout on December 1, 2018 is…

$16.25 Million Dollars

…and that might be a number that T. Boone Pickens would be wise to write a check for since Ole Boone is 90 years old and if he wants to see Okie State win a national title that’s not something he will see with a..

Lazy Ass Head Coach in Stillwater!

Memo to T. Boone Pickens:  Boone, we know a Helluva Head Football Coach that would love to have the Oklahoma State job and in addition to not being Lazy As Hell like Mike Gundy he could win in 2019 so you might want to get that checkbook out and make it out to…

Mike Gundy

…for $16.25 Million Dollars and on the comments line just write in:

To fire the 2 nd Damn Laziest Coach in College Football!

In our humble opinion of course!

You want the name of that coach Boone just give us a call…you should have our number!

2018 Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Let’s Bring Out The Great Johnny Cash To Give These Hot Seat coaches Hell! – Thank You Johnny!

The Week 3 College Football Games are done and watching college football in person at UC Davis – Stanford game and then watching a Helluva lot of college football on television on Saturday it’s hard to imagine how the game could be better and let’s hope that it keeps going like this for a long time into the future.

The game of football in America is facing a lot of issues that will have to be dealt with for the game to navigate its way forward, and one of the things that needs to be done is move the current FBS 4-Team College Football Playoff to 8-Teams with 5 Power Five Conference Champs (If 3 losses or less) + 3 Wildcard teams but more on that as the season moves along because worrying about the Postseason Playoff takes away from the games being played right now!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1. Urban Meyer, Ohio State – We watched the interview that ESPN’s Tom Rinaldi did with Urban Meyer that aired on Sunday and it’s an interesting interview with a lot going on beyond what Meyer said…which wasn’t much….but to guess on what Meyer was thinking would be speculative and we are all about speculation and opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat!

In our humble opinion Urban Meyer sees both of the Smiths complicit in the failure of their marriage which flows from how Meyer was raised in that there are issues in all marriages but that two mature adults…especially ones with children…should be able to work things out and for lots of reasons the Smith marriage just imploded which probably seems unthinkable to Meyer.

There’s an old saying attributed to Lou Holtz that….

“If he’s got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don’t hire him.”

…with the implication being that a good assistant football coach isn’t planning on playing lots of golf when working for Holtz. What is also implicit in the above statement is that Lou Holtz was interested in the personal lives of his coaches as it pertains to their ability to do their job, and when something is going wrong with someone’s personal life that will of course impact that person’s work as well. In our opinion there’s not a chance in Hell that Urban Meyer wasn’t aware that Smith was having lots of problems with his marriage and that Smith was doing all kinds of Crazy Shit in his personal life, and anyone that has been around a football team knows…

Everyone knows…especially the coaches….what’s going on with everyone if it falls outside what would be considered “normal”

…and for whatever reason Meyer kept Smith around with Meyer now admitting he should have fired the troubled Smith long ago which is incredibly obvious to anyone that can read the recent reports on this issue.

If we were a head football coach in college we would realize that is a very public position and that the coaches on our staff were also in very public positions and with what’s happened at Ohio State in mind we would talk to each our coaches and support staff and tell them straight-up:

“If something is going on in your personal life that is a problem…I am talking about a serious problem and not just normal personal or marriage issues…I want to know about it because you are representing this university and you are working for me and I don’t want to be surprised by something down the road. I can help you a lot with issues, even personal issues, but I cannot help you if you don’t tell me about it so keep that in mind.”

Will see what if anything else comes out on this Smith issue at Ohio State, and if something else does come out we would not be surprised, but for now it seems it has quieted down which is of course the same thing that happened with the Tressel issue. We shall see.

Interestingly Ohio State has looked like a team that can beat anyone in the country including Alabama in its first three games of the season and it will be fascinating to see how the Buckeyes play under Meyer in the coming weeks with OSU having left:

Tulane
At Penn State
Indiana
Minnesota
At Purdue
Nebraska
At Michigan State
At Maryland
Michigan

Our guess the Buckeyes lose 2 of their remaining 9 games which would be a Major Disappointment and lead to a lot of folks asking a lot of questions to why in the Hell a team with enough talent to beat anyone in the country ended up with 2 losses in the regular season!

2.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – It was probably a Godsend that North Carolina didn’t play UCF at home on Saturday because of Hurricane Florence since UCF would have probably blasted the falling to pieces Tar Heels who are 0 – 2 and still have games left against…

Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

Our guess UNC wins 3 of their last 9 games to finish at….

3 – 9

…in 2018 which will open up the North Carolina job which is a Good but not Great job in college football but certainly a job we would walk from San Francisco to Chapel Hill to take if they offered it to anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat!

3.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – The first time any of us ran into Willie Taggart was in 2007 when he came to Stanford to coach running backs for Jim Harbaugh on The Farm and we can be honest here and say we are biased FOR Willie Taggart but for Damn sure we are not going to tolerate Willie or ANY other coach blowing up a college football program…especially one like Florida State….just because we like the guy!

We really don’t have a clue how good of a Head Football Coach that Willie Taggart is since he spent so little time at his previous HC stops at Western Kentucky, South Florida, and Oregon before taking over at FSU but we can tell you what we have been told by our friends in Florida who have been around Florida State football going back to the 1970s which is before Bobby Bowden arrived in Tallahassee in 1976 some very interesting and some very troubling things.

Back in August a Florida State-alum buddy of ours who has had season tickets to FSU games since the 1970s and who we have known since the late 1980s hinted in some conversations that he was hearing that….

“There is no football being practiced at Florida State. It’s just a lot of PR fluff.”

That is the phrase he used back in August for what Willie Taggart and his coaching staff were doing at FSU practices…

“It’s just a lot of PR fluff.”

After seeing FSU play against Virginia Tech, Samford, and Syracuse we don’t need someone watching FSU practice to know what is going on in Tallahassee because it’s as Plain As Damn Day and that is….

Willie Taggart and his Assistant Coaches are NOT coaching football at Florida State!

…but rather it’s just a lot “making sure the players are happy” and guess what Willie….

You have a football team that has already QUIT on you Son!

…and if you don’t start Coaching The Game of Football with your FSU football team TODAY….meaning Monday….then there’s a good chance you will not be the head coach at Florida State in 2019 and if you get run from this job after one year you will have a tough time getting a high school head coaching job in the future!

We have been told by that same FSU-alum buddy of ours that a significant portion of the $30M or so that it would take to buyout Willie Taggart and everyone that Willie has hired has already been raised and that if Florida State keeps playing the way they did against Syracuse…

Where the Florida State Football Team QUIT

….Willie Taggart will be fired shortly after the Florida game on November 24!

YES….it’s that bad Willie and your better Damn start coaching your football team especially with what you have left to play…

Northern Illinois
At Louisville
At Miami
Wake Forest
Clemson
At NC State
At Notre Dame
Boston College
Florida

If FSU plays the rest of the season the way they played against Syracuse…

They will not win another football game and finish the season at 1 – 11 and Willie Taggart and his entire coaching staff WILL BE FIRED in late November!

Northern Illinois comes to Tallahassee on Saturday with a pretty good football team that would love to beat FSU whether the Seminoles are any good or not and if FSU loses this game there will not be more than 20,000 people at any home FSU game the rest of the year so YES you could say there is a Helluva Lot riding on Saturday’s game and most of all what we would like to see is a…

FSU Football Team that actually shows up and plays like men instead of the Candy Ass Cowards and Quitters that Willie Taggart has been running out on the field in the first three games of the season!

Lastly we will leave Willie Taggart with a comment from an ACC assistant coach we talked to on Sunday and passing along this comment, even if we don’t identify the assistant, will probably end us talking to that coach but we think it’s important enough of a comment to relay in this spot, and the comment is the general feeling among the coaches on this particular ACC football team and that comment is in the form of a question:

ACC Assistant Coach: “Any way you can take Taggart off the Hot Seat?”

CHS: “Why is that?”

ACC Assistant Coach: “Because we need to keep Willie in Tallahassee for as long as possible since it’s a guaranteed win every year now!”

You gonna take that Willie?

If not then how about showing up at practice on Monday and quit giving a Damn about making your players happy and….

Coaching The Freaking Game of Football Son

…and you can start by running the Hell out of the 15+ players on your FSU football team that Flat-Out QUIT against Syracuse!

The Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli wrote in his book The Prince that….

“It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.”

…and what Willie Taggart needs to understand is….

Your players will NEVER Love you if they do not Respect you and right now….

The FSU players have No Damn Respect for Willie Taggart or the FSU Assistant Coaches

…but be assured if dozen members of Coaches Hot Seat took over the Florida State football program on Monday by Tuesday evening after practice the players still left on the team….

Would Respect Us….You Can Damn Sure Count On That….Because We Would Tolerate Nothing But Respect From Our Players and the same should go for Willie Taggart!

4.  Clay Helton, USC – It’s impossible to understand the situation that USC head coach Clay Helton is in today unless you grew up watching USC football in the 1970s when the Trojans were one of the Top 10 teams in the country every year. Yes, Pete Carroll had a great run at USC from 2001 – 2009 but the USC alumni in their 50s, 60s, and 70s who have a Helluva Lot of money and influence in the Los Angeles and all over the world even are just not going to tolerate Clay Helton turning USC into average football program even if Helton is sitting on records now of…

Overall:  28 – 12

Pac-12:  20 – 6

The above are pretty decent numbers, but our friends who are USC-alums don’t think those records are so great and when they see in person in Austin the Trojans get blown-out by 23 points to a Texas team that lost to Maryland which just lost to Freaking Temple then you have some…

Pissed-Off USC Folks

…and believe it….they are now passing the hat around to raise the money to fire Clay Helton later this year if it comes to it which caused a member of Coaches Hot Seat to ask one our USC-alum buddies who could buy and sell Nick Saban in about 15 minutes on Sunday….

“What would it take for Helton to keep his job at USC?”

USC-alum:  “Clay better Damn win out the rest of the games.”

OK…let’s look at the remaining 9 games that Clay better Damn win every Damn one of them!

Washington State
At Arizona
Colorado
At Utah
Arizona State
At Oregon State
Cal
At UCLA
Notre Dame

Don’t think there’s a chance in Hell that Clay Helton and the USC Trojans win their last 9 games and if we had to guess we would say they go….

6 – 3 or 7 – 2 at best!

You know what that means right?

USC will be looking for a new head football coach by December and we happen to know a college head football coach with a team in the Top 15 who would love a shot at the USC job!

We wouldn’t recommend that Clay Helton and the Trojans lose to Washington State on Friday night OR any game the rest of the season or it’s Dandy Don time in South LA!

5.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – Maybe it’s just us but if we had…

$49 Million Dollars Guaranteed in our back pocket

…over the next 7 years whether we won another football game or not we would NOT….

Coach Like A Damn Coward

….but on Saturday at Jordan-Hare Stadium on The Plains in Auburn you had Gus Malzahn again….

Coaching Like A Damn Coward Against LSU!

Why Gus?

Can you please explain to us why you are still…

Coaching Like A Damn Coward Scared of Your Shadow Son?

Auburn has one of the best defenses in America and Gus is coaching the Tigers offense like the AU defense is not even going to show up for the game and just why in the Hell is that Gus?

Clearly that’s a question that Gus Malzahn is not going to answer but it’s a Helluva question because you give anyone at Coaches Hot Seat….

Guaranteed $49 Million Dollars over the next 7 Years

…we are going to attack your ass…

All Over The Field
Up and Down the Field
In the Damn Stands If Necessary

…to score as many Damn points as possible because….

We have no Damn Fear of anything because our ass is going to get paid $49 Million Dollars Whatever the Hell Happens!

Let’s look at Malzahn’s seasons at Auburn:

2013:  12 – 2
2014:  8 – 5
2015:  7 – 6
2016:  8 – 5
2017:  10 – 4

Geez…that’s 4+ losses in 4 of Gus’s 5 seasons at Auburn AND he is….

Guaranteed to make $7M a season for the next 7 years if he doesn’t win another football game!

Please now Gus….

Why in the Hell are you coaching the Auburn football team like a Damn Coward Son?

Let’s see what Auburn has left in 2018:

Arkansas
Southern Miss
At Mississippi State
Tennessee
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
At Georgia
Liberty
At Alabama

That looks like at least THREE more losses which again would be….

FOUR losses on the season

…and that means….

8 – 4

….or could even be a….

7 – 5

…record in 2018 and we have to wonder just what Big Chumps the folks at Auburn will feel like if Gus Malzahn lays down a 8 – 4 or 7 – 5 after you just guaranteed him $49 Million Dollars?

Got VERY BIG Chumps?

Yep!

6.  Major Applewhite, Houston – Big-Time Houston booster and billionaire Tillman Fertitta made it clear a couple of years ago that….

Anything less than 10 wins a year with Houston football is not acceptable

…and after Major Applewhite put up a record of 7 – 5 in year one at Houston it was made clear to us that Major needed to hit the 10 win mark in 2018 to keep his job going into 2019 and losing to a Texas Tech team that got blasted by Ole Miss which just got blasted by Alabama is no doubt something that Tillman Fertitta has noted and with that in mind let’s see what the 2 – 1 Cougars have left on their schedule in 2018:

Texas Southern
Tulsa
At East Carolina
At Navy
USF
At SMU
Temple
Tulane
At Memphis

Let’s assume Fertitta is willing to give Major Applewhite a chance to get to 10 wins by winning a bowl game so that would mean Houston needs to win…

7 of their last 9 games

….and that’s going to be a challenge….a BIG Challenge!

7.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – Kevin Sumlin’s Arizona team beat FCS Southern Utah on Saturday night to raise their record to 1 – 2 but it’s back to Real Football in Week 4 with a game at Oregon State and a game that Sumlin and the Wildcats….

Better Damn Not Lose

….because if Arizona cannot beat Oregon State then we rather doubt they will win another game in 2018 and just think we thought at the beginning of the season that…

Anything less than 7 wins in 2018 would be a Total Disaster for Arizona!

Let’s look at the rest of Arizona’s schedule:

At Oregon State
USC
Cal
At Utah
At UCLA
Oregon
Colorado
At Washington State
Arizona State

We don’t have a Damn Clue how Arizona gets to 6 wins in 2018 = Code Red Total Damn Disaster for Kevin Sumlin in Year 1 in Tucson!

8.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – The Illini were up on South Florida for most of the game on Saturday before letting USF get them in the fourth quarter and that loss to the Bulls drops Illinois head coach Lovie Smith’s records to….

Overall:  7 – 20

Big Ten:  2 – 16

….and Big Ten Conference play starts this coming Saturday for the Illini with…

Penn State coming to Champaign!

Oh…here’s the rest of the Illini schedule who are now at 2 – 1:

Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

Our guess the Illini win 2 of their remaining 9 games to finish at 4 – 8 which is DOUBLE the number of wins the last two seasons for Illinois!

Woo-Freaking-Hoo!

Maybe give Lovie and extension and raise he gets to 4 wins in 2018?

It’s Illinois after all where Average is Great and Good is You Are A Freaking God on Earth!

9.  David Beaty, Kansas – You gotta give whoever is making the schedules in Lawrence great credit because when you open the season with….

Nicholls
At Central Michigan
Rutgers

….you are hoping for a 2 – 1 start at least and that is what David Beaty and Kansas got and now it’s back to Big Boy Football in Week 4 with a trip to Baylor but come now….Baylor just got blasted by Duke in Waco and Hell…

Kansas could move to 3 – 1 with a win over Baylor on Saturday!

After Baylor its…

Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

We would recommend that David Beaty and Kansas find a way to beat Baylor in Waco in Saturday because if you can’t beat Baylor….

You will not win another game this season!

10.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – After a slow start in the game against SMU the Wolverines turned it up a few notches and coasted to a 45 – 20 win over the Mustangs and looky-here we have a…

Damn Fascinating Game in Ann Arbor on Saturday

…with winless Nebraska and new head coach Scott Frost coming into town in a game that…

Neither Team or Coach can afford to lose

….and that’s true for Jim Harbaugh and Michigan because what comes after the Huskers visit to the Big House:

At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

The way that Wisconsin looked against BYU and Michigan State against Arizona State we don’t see why Michigan doesn’t get to the Ohio State game with more than 2 losses or less because the above are all teams that Blue should beat save the game against Penn State on November 3 and even that game is winnable.

Jim Harbaugh and Michigan just CANNOT LOSE to Nebraska this coming Saturday and to lose this game would nothing short of a Code Red Total Disaster!

Great Luck Jimmy!

2018 Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Thank You Johnny Cash!

We are off to a great start to the 2018 college football season which has about fifty good storylines going including football coaches suddenly finding their ass on the Hot Seat for the first time in their coaching careers and with that in mind let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to get to this weeks Top 10 College Head Coaches on the Hot Seat after Week 2!

Thank You As Always Johnny Cash!

2018 Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Urban Meyer, Ohio State – Ohio State had looked great in destroying Oregon State and Rutgers to open the 2018 season….2 Cupcakes for sure but still the Buckeyes are playing some very efficient football even with their head coach on the sideline. Urban Meyer will miss a third game this week in Ft. Worth against TCU in a match-up that has not only attracted College Gameday but also the Vegas Boys have made OSU 13-point favorites on the road against the Horned Frogs.

Ohio State easily has double the talent of TCU and should easily win this game…if they play turnover free football and that is where Gary Patterson and his football team comes in which should be ready to give the Buckeyes a good football game that will no doubt be killing Urban Meyer wherever he will be watching it…if he will be able to watch it that is!

Knowing how much missing on coaching in the OSU – TCU game is appropriate penance for Meyer and should be a tremendous less for Urban and other coaches to remind them that they should pay close attention to the make-up of their coaching staffs and support personnel and when they spot a Self-Consumed Punk they should think hard and long about the inherent risks in keeping that Self-Consumed Punk around their football program and university!

We will go Ohio State beats TCU by ten points in a great football game!

2.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Counting the loss to end the 2016 regular season to NC State and the Sun Bowl of the same year that a few at Coaches Hot Seat were at to see the Tar Heels lose to Stanford Larry Fedora is sitting on a record of….

3 – 13

…in UNC’s last 16 games and now coming on the heels of a 22 point loss to an East Carolina team that has been as bad as UNC the last few seasons we have a full-bodied Code Red Total Disaster on our hands in Chapel Hill!

Now at 0 – 2 UNC has left to play in 2018…

UCF
Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

Unless Larry Fedora can rally the Tar Heels that looks like a 3 or 4 win season coming off a 3 – 9 record in 2017 and that record would lead to a Helluva coaching job that a Helluva Lot of football coaches would love to have opening up in early December!

3.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – We are not quite sure what Willie Taggart and his FSU coaching staff have been doing since they took over the Seminoles in January but for Damn sure….

They have not been coaching this football team

….because there is not a player on the Samford football team that could be on the 4-deep at FSU and yet….Samford had Florida State on the ropes into the 4 th quarter in Tallahassee which would have been the…

Beginning of the End of the Willie Taggart Regime at FSU

….and from talking to a few FSU alums on Sunday including one we have known since the late 1980s….

If Willie Taggart doesn’t get this Total Disaster turned around at FSU he will not be the head coach of the Seminoles in 2019!

The Florida State coaches could just roll the balls out on the field and go to a local bar in Tallahassee and let the players practice themselves and there’s plenty of talent to win….

6 Games A Year

…but when you look at the rest of the now 1 – 1 Florida State schedule we are beginning to wonder if the Seminoles will win another game in 2018!

At Syracuse
Northern Illinois
At Louisville
At Miami
Wake Forest
Clemson
At NC State
At Notre Dame
Boston College
Florida

Geez….if FSU plays the way it did against Virginia Tech and Samford they will NOT win another game this season and when we asked our FSU-alum buddy what would happen if the Seminoles ended the season at 1 – 11 he says….

“They won’t sell 1,000 seasons tickets for the 2019 season if Taggart is still the coach. Hell…if they win less than 6 games I am done with FSU football until they fix that Damn mess in Tallahassee which includes ousting several people that hold tremendous power in the booster organization that are just worthless as Hell!”

Like Chapel Hill…we have a Code Red Total Disaster going on in Tallahassee and Willie Taggart just better Damn find a way to beat Syracuse on Saturday or there will be about 15,000 people at the Northern Illinois game the next Saturday in Tallahassee!

4.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – BYU played pretty good against a decent California team on Saturday losing 21 – 18 and now the 1 – 1 Cougars need to regroup quickly because they have a trip to play Wisconsin in Madison which looks like a Badgers team that can be beat if UW is not focused and what a win it would be if BYU could go on the road and beat the Badgers…but come now…that’s big IF!

Basically when you get right down to brass tacks this is about BYU getting to 6 wins in 2018 which would give head coach Sitake the ability to say that the team improved over the 4 – 9 record last season and with that in mind the 1 – 1 Cougars have left in 2018….

At Wisconsin
McNeese
At Washington
Utah State
Hawaii
Northern Illinois
At Boise State
At UMass
New Mexico State
At Utah

We see 2 easy wins on that schedule….McNeese and New Mexico State at home….that’s 3 wins….which means BYU will need to beat…

Utah State
Hawaii
Northern Illinois

…at home and then to get to 7 wins beat UMass on the road and in our minds…that is very doable although an Utah State team that can score a lot of points will not be an easy win nor will Hawaii or Northern Illinois!

Good Luck in Madison Cougars!

5.  David Beaty, Kansas – Congrats to David Beaty and Kansas for getting a nice road win at Central Michigan on Saturday which is a Big 12 team beating a MAC team which should be a forgone conclusion….but come now…this is Kansas we are talking about here and it’s back to reality in Week 3 for the Jayhawks with Non-Big Ten Powerhouse Rutgers coming to Lawrence which is a….

Very Winnable Football Game

…since Rutgers just got blasted by 49 points by the Buckeyes!

How many games will Kansas win in 2018 with these games left to play?

Rutgers
At Baylor
Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

Our guess….1 more game to finish at 2 – 10 on the season!

6.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – We originally put Kevin Sumlin on the Hot Seat this past offseason when he banned the media from covering Spring practice which is an uniquely Stupid Thing for a new head football coach to do and we fully expected after early wins over BYU at home and Houston the road Sumlin would be off the Hot Seat but now….BUT Arizona looks like a football team that has gotten….

No Coaching At All

…over the last 8 months and there’s a real chance that an Arizona team loaded with plenty of talent to win 8 games will not even get 6 wins in 2018 with these games still left to play on the schedule:

Southern Utah
At Oregon State
USC
California
At Utah
At UCLA
Oregon
Colorado
At Washington State
Arizona State

Hell….Arizona will be LUCKY to win 4 games in 2018 if they play like they did against BYU and Houston to open the season which is…

Undisciplined
Unfocused
Un-Everything

…and in the end really….Un-Coached!

There’s an old rule of thumb about hiring someone for a challenging job:

Don’t hire someone to do a challenging job that just got run from their last job that saw them get paid Millions of Dollars because in our opinion that person is not going to be motivated to do that new challenging job because….they have Millions of Dollars in the bank!

Let’s see if that rule of thumb proves true and Arizona turns into a Code Red Total Disaster which it’s right on the brink of right now!

7.  Dan Mullen, Florida – In all his time at Mississippi State new Florida head coach Dan Mullen flirted with the Hot Seat a few times BUT he was able to stay off the Hot Seat because our expectations for Mississippi State are a Helluva Lot Lower than our expectations for Florida and our first expectation for Florida is….

Your Ass Better Not Lose To Kentucky Especially At Home!

That was just a Freaking Damn Embarrassment the way the Florida Gators played against Kentucky at home running out a quarterback that would not start for thousands of high school teams across the country and a football team that not only….

Did Not Look Prepared To Play Football

…they also…

Did Not Look Very Damn Motivated

…and when we see that at…

FLORIDA

….your ass goes right on the Hot Seat!

Let’s see what the 1 – 1 Gators have left in 2018 to see just what kind of Damn Disaster we are dealing with here >

Colorado State
At Tennessee
At Mississippi State
LSU
At Vanderbilt
Georgia – Jacksonville
Missouri
South Carolina
Idaho
At Florida State

Geez…if the Gators beat Colorado State and Idaho that is 3 wins….and Hell Samford can also beat FSU in Tallahassee so that might be a win which makes 4 wins….but where in the Hell is Florida going to find even 2 more wins to get to 6 on the year?

Got Dan Mullen’s ass is now on the Hot Seat and may never get off until he gets fired at Florida?

Yep!

Keep that potential next head coaches for the Gators list handy there Florida AD Scott Stricklin because you might need it Son!

8. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – Texas Tech destroyed Lamar on Saturday but come now….Lamar is a Damn Joke Cupcake and now it’s back to Big Boy Football with Houston coming to Lubbock in game that Kliff Kingsbury just…

Flat-Out Cannot Lose

…because a loss in this spot to drop to 1 – 2 with these games still left….

At Oklahoma State
West Virginia
At TCU
Kansas
At Iowa State
Oklahoma
Texas
At Kansas State
Baylor

….will be 4 or 5 wins tops and there’s not a chance in Hell Kingsbury can survive less than 6 wins in 2018 to return for 2019!

Our guess if Tech loses to Houston Saturday they finish with a record of…

3 – 9

….and Texas Tech which is a decent job will open up by December 1.

9.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – Michigan destroyed a mediocre Western Michigan team on Saturday and now comes another team in SMU that Blue should destroy in Ann Arbor to at least get this ball rolling a little and assuming Blue beats the Mustangs….

And They Better Damn Beat Em or Jim Harbaugh is Headed for a Code Red Total Disaster

…what is left on the schedule isn’t exactly easy…

Nebraska
At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

Michigan has plenty of talent and a good enough of a defense to be AT WORST….

9 – 2

…when they head to Columbus on November 24 to play Ohio State and that’s the standard we are setting for Jimmy Harbaugh this season….

1 more loss between now and the Buckeyes

…and that loss better Damn not be to SMU on Saturday Jimmy or your ass will be on…

Face of the Sun Hot Seat!

10.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Lovie Smith’s Illini opened up the 2018 season with wins over Big-Time Cupcakes….

Kent State
Western Illinois

….and now it’s back to the Real World with USF coming to town on Saturday and then these games to finish the season:

Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

Illinois is now 2 – 0 and our guess…they finish the season at…

4 – 8

…which would mean Lovie Smith has put up records of….

3 – 9
2 – 10
4 – 8

Overall:  9 – 27

Would that keep Lovie Smith employed for another year at Illinois?

How the Hell could it?

2018 Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking – Let’s Bring Out The Great Johnny Cash To Get Things Rolling! Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Time does fly and the 2018 College Football Season marks the 12 th year of the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings and recently a Coaches Hot Seat member said…

“We cranked this thing up in 2007 when Saban got to Alabama and Hell we might as well keep it going for as long as Nick is still alive and working for a living in Tuscaloosa!”

Amen and that should be thru the 2022 season…right Nick?

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling! Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

2018 Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

1.  Urban Meyer, Ohio State – When the story about Zach Smith broke at Ohio State several weeks back we called a long-time friend of ours in Columbus and asked him what he thought of Smith and his opinion and what he said to us was:

“He’s a punk.”

We asked: “Would you like to expand on that?”

“Nope….just…he’s a punk.”

After watching the ESPN interview with Zach Smith we had the same exact opinion and whatever happened between Smith and his wife in what seems like a very bitter marriage on both sides when you read the report that Ohio State produced on the Zach Smith – Urban Meyer situation we could not help but wonder how Meyer kept his job keeping such a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being on his staff for so long not only risking his own job but the entire Ohio State football program for….”a punk!”

The entire story just makes no freaking sense even if you understand Smith is Earle Bruce’s grandson because where we come from the children of legends are held to a higher standard not a lower one and with that in mind and realizing what went on at Florida under Urban Meyer there is still a chance something else could come out on this entire Smith + Meyer issue in the coming weeks and all it would take is one piece of information to confirm that years ago Meyer also knew Smith was a “punk” and kept him on staff….and maybe for an interesting reason.

Who knows and we shall see about all that so Urban Meyer enters the 2018 College Football Season on the #1 Hot Seat and we will hold him to the same standard as any other coach which includes not only how his football team plays on the field but how the coach runs the football program and manages himself…and his coaches!

After the win over hapless Oregon State the Buckeyes have left in 2018:

Rutgers – without Meyer
TCU – without Meyer
Tulane
At Penn State
Indiana
Minnesota
At Purdue
Nebraska
At Michigan State
At Maryland
Michigan

Only Alabama has more talent on their roster than Ohio State and without the entire Smith – Meyer self-inflicted disaster we would guess 12 – 0 for the Buckeyes in 2018…with the Smith – Meyer self-inflicted disaster our guess for OSU in 2018 >

10 – 2

2.  David Beaty, Kansas – It’s just impossible to explain why now fired Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger’s hired Charlie Weis and David Beaty to coach the Kansas football team unless Zenger is Mentally Insane or a Damn Moron or he just….

Doesn’t Know A Damn Thing About The Game Of Football

…and our guess it was a combination of the last 2 on why he hired Weis and Beaty when there were at least 20 coaches that would have been Home Run hires for the Jayhawks many of which didn’t even get a call!

In 4 seasons at Kansas David Beaty has posted records of…

Overall:  3 – 34

Big 12:  1 – 26

…and those 3 wins are over:

Rhode Island
Texas
SE Missouri State

Add to this tale of horrors the opening season loss to Nicholls in 2018 and we don’t think there’s a chance in Hell that Kansas wins a game this season with these games left to play:

At Central Michigan
Rutgers
At Baylor
Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

NOPE….Kansas will be 0 – 12 in 2018 and will be hiring a new head football coach come December and we can think of 10+ coaches that would be GREAT hires at the school and we have to think new KU AD Jeff Long will look at few of them but will Jeff hire someone who can bring some much needed energy and offensive fire-power to Lawrence?

Maybe…Jeff Long is not an Idiot…far from it…but he did hire Bielema at Arkansas when he could have had the better version of Bobby Petrino in Jeff Brohm so maybe Long will make a hiring mistake at a place that has had a Helluva Lot of hiring mistakes in the last 40 years!

3.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – The train wreck that is now Texas football is partially responsible for the Total Disaster in Lubbock which keeps rolling down the tracks because Tom Herman’s Horns let Kingsbury and Tech come into Austin in the last regular season game of 2017 and beat Texas which got the Red Raiders to 6 wins….not that 6 wins in your FIFTH season on the job should let Kingsbury keep his job…but it did and the….

Total Disaster in Lubbock Train Keeps-A-Rolling In Lubbock!

Mike Leach and Tommy Tuberville were the two head coaches at Texas Tech before Kingsbury got to Lubbock and below are their average wins per season numbers at Tech:

Mike Leach:  8.4

Tommy Tuberville:  6.67

Kliff Kingsbury has averaged….

6 wins per season

…and if that can keep you employed in Lubbock….Geez….that’s a low and embarrassing bar for football at Texas Tech!

Now at 0 – 1 Texas Tech has left on its schedule in 2018:

Lamar
Houston
At Oklahoma State
West Virginia
At TCU
Kansas
At Iowa State
Oklahoma
Texas
At Kansas State
Baylor

That looks like 3 – 9 or 4 – 8 to us and a pretty good job in Texas Tech opening up in early December at the latest!

4.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – Many of us got to see Jim Harbaugh up close and personal when he was coaching Stanford and even the San Francisco 49ers but we haven’t had the ability to know what exactly has been going on at Michigan since Jimmy took the job in 2015. That changed earlier this year when a good friend of ours took a job at the University of Michigan that we have known for 20+ years, and he has for the last several months been feeding us lots of interesting information on what has been going on with Michigan Football and its information we can use because this guy knows the game of football.

Before we get to what our good friend has been telling us about Jimmy and Blue for the last several months we must be upfront and honest and say…

We like Jim Harbaugh and want him to succeed at Michigan

….and although we didn’t agree with some of the things he did with the 49ers like benching Alex Smith for Colin Kaepernick or letting Aldon Smith off easy after several incidents including a DUI which just made Smith’s life worse as anyone paying attention can see we can start anew and we did start anew when Jim took the Michigan job and we have pulled for him and his team in every game.

With the loss to Notre Dame Jim Harbaugh has now coached 40 games at Michigan and his record after those 40 games is….

28 – 12  (.700)

Not too bad you might say….well let’s see what the records were of Jim’s predecessors at Michigan after 40 games on the job:

Brady Hoke:  27 – 13

Rich Rodriguez:  15 – 22 (didn’t make it to 40 games!)

Lloyd Carr:  30 – 10

Gary Moeller:  31 – 6 – 3

Bo Schembechler:  35 – 5

Considering the Millions of Dollars that Michigan is paying Jim Harbaugh and considering not only his 28 – 12 record after 40 games and his 1 – 6 record in CRITICAL rivalry games one would think that Jim’s record would be closer to Bo’s than Brady Hoke’s and for Damn sure in the first game of Jim’s FOURTH year at Michigan one would expect a little better effort in their opening game against Notre Dame…but NO…it was a Pitiful Effort for the most part against the Irish!

Getting back to our friend who went to at least 10 Stanford games with us when Jim was coaching the Cardinal who is now in Ann Arbor, he has been poking around the Michigan Football program a bit and he joined us at Lake Tahoe in August for a week and on the first night we sat down and asked him a very simple question:

What the Hell is going on with Michigan under Harbaugh?”

Ann Arbor Friend:  I resisted my first thought for a long time but there’s little doubt in my mind now that Jim has lost the passion and fire he had for football at Stanford and certainly at the 49ers for awhile and that has seeped into the entire team and program and that is why in my opinion the team has looked so lackluster, unmotivated, almost un-coached at times in last couple of years.

We all just sat their quiet for a few seconds without anyone saying a word no doubt each of us thinking back to some of Michigan’s games the last couple of seasons and also no doubt in our minds also there’s something going on with Jim Harbaugh. We haven’t a clue what it is, but whatever is going on whether it is an outside influence or force or it is something internal Jim seems to have lost his passion and fire for football and many of things we saw at Stanford including taking care of every little detail combined with a deep passion for football is what drove Jim Harbaugh in life…and it’s just gone now in our opinion based upon what we have seen with our own eyes and what our friend on the ground in Ann Arbor at this moment is telling us.

What exactly does that mean for the immediate future of Michigan football?

It’s hard to say, but now at 0 – 1 with the below games still left to be played this is going to be one TOUGH season for the Wolverines!

Western Michigan
SMU
Nebraska
At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

Michigan has everything it needs to beat every team left on its scheduled save Ohio State in Columbus but if we had to guess we would say Blue will lose the following games…

At Northwestern
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Ohio State

You add in loss to Notre Dame and that’s SIX losses so let’s say Michigan only loses 4 of the above games…..that’s FIVE losses….and we have some news for Jim Harbaugh….

You cannot survive a 7 – 5 season in your FOURTH season at Michigan with each season getting worse in number of wins!

Not that we would bother Jimmy but if we could bother him right now the #1 thing we would tell him is….

Find Your Passion For The Game Of Football Again Son

….NO not for Horseshit around the game but for FOOTBALL and that is your means of salvation out of the funk that Michigan Football is now in!

Also the offensive playcalling is a Freaking Disaster and we don’t see anyone on the Michigan offensive staff that has a Damn Clue how to call plays so maybe you should call plays Jimmy!

Good Luck Son!

5.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora hasn’t exactly been tearing things up in Chapel Hill as the head football coach at UNC the last six seasons….save 2015….posting records of:

2012:  8 – 4
2013:  7 – 6
2014:  6 – 7
2015:  11 – 3
2016:  8 – 5
2017:  3 – 9

With the loss to California to start the 2018 season Fedora is now…

10 – 17

….in his last 27 games coaching the Tar Heels and that’s a run that cannot continue or North Carolina will be looking for a new head coach come December and there’s a pretty good one up the road at Appalachian State in Scott Satterfield who no doubt love a shot at the UNC job who is just one of a dozen quality head and assistant coaches that would walk to Chapel Hill to coach the Tar Heels!

Now at 0 – 1 after the loss to Cal the Tar Heels have left in 2018:

At East Carolina
UCF
Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

Geez….that’s a TOUGH remaining schedule and after posting a record of 3 – 9 in 2017 one would think Fedora would have to get to 6 wins in 2018 to hang onto his job….Hell…he might need 7 wins in his SEVENTH year on the job at UNC to return and coach in 2019.

6. Willie Taggart, Florida State – We don’t have a Damn Clue what Willie Taggart and the Florida State coaching staff has been doing the last 8 months in getting FSU ready for the 2018 football season but from where we sat….

They were not doing a Damn thing

….because that was just flat-out a Damn embarrassment on Monday night against Virginia Tech for the Seminoles and Willie better Damn get this thing straightened out or he might find his ass out of a job and Lane Kiffin coaching Florida State before Willie can even get settled in Tallahassee! Oh…that Lane Kiffin to Florida State idea was given to us by an FSU-alum we have know since the late 1980s when couple of us lived in Florida who called us on the way home from the Va. Tech – FSU game and was ripping Willie Taggart and the FSU coaching staff for nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster…and he is right….it was a Total Freaking Disaster!

Looking at what Florida State has left on its 2018 schedule if the 0 – 1 Seminoles play like they did against Virginia Tech….

Samford
At Syracuse
Northern Illinois
At Louisville
At Miami
Wake Forest
Clemson
At NC State
At Notre Dame
Boston College
Florida

…they will be LUCKY to win 5 games and if FSU wins less than 5 games Willie Taggart will be fired in early December especially if Lane Kiffin is sitting on another 10+ win season at FAU, and it will not matter One Damn Iota what the buyout is because that was Freaking Coaching Malpractice against Virginia Tech with the FSU coaches actually make the players worse than if they had just coached themselves!

Get Off Your Damn Ass Willie!

7.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – It was nice to see Kalani Sitake get a solid win over Arizona on Saturday night because we personally like Coach Sitake and hope he succeeds at BYU just as all our Good Mormon friends in Utah do but just like our Good Mormon friends in Utah we are not going to tolerate BYU Football being Average or Below Average and thus why this is such a CRITCAL year for Sitake to get this ship righted!

With the win over the Wildcats Sitake’s record at BYU now stands at….

14 – 13

….and the Cougars have left to play in 2018:

Cal
At Wisconsin
McNeese
At Washington
Utah State
Hawaii
Northern Illinois
At Boise State
At UMass
New Mexico State
At Utah

That’s a pretty tough remaining schedule for BYU but we have it on pretty good authority that if Sitake can get to 6 wins in 2018 and thus the Cougars back to a bowl game there’s a better than “90% chance” that Sitake returns to coach BYU in 2019….but less than 6 wins….there’s a ”90% chance BYU makes a coaching change” so the Cougars need to find 5 more wins in their remaining 11 games.

Not easy….but certainly doable if BYU Football has improved on their 4 – 9 Total Disaster from a season ago!

8.  Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – Luke Fickell and his Cincinnati football team got a Must Win over a lackluster UCLA team to open the 2018 season but the Bearcats will need to keep things rolling to get their head coach off the Hot Seat and here’s what they have coming up:

At Miami, Ohio
Alabama A&M
Ohio
At UConn
Tulane
At Temple
At SMU
Navy
USF
At UCF
East Carolina

It’s a kind of a tough schedule but Cincinnati should be able to win at least 6 games in 2018 with 1 win already on the board and if they don’t win 6 games this season…..

Pitiful….Just Pitiful!

9.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – It was a challenge for Lovie Smith’s Illini to beat a below average Kent State team at home on Saturday in Smith’s 25 th game coaching Illinois which adds up to records in 3 seasons at the school of:

Overall:  6 – 19

Big Ten:  2 – 16

Now at 1 – 0 Illinois has left to play in 2018….

Western Illinois
USF
Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

…and if you can barely beat Kent State how many of the above games can Illini win in 2018?

Our guess…maybe 2 or 3…tops 4!

We will go 4 – 8 for Illini in 2018 and a new head football coach at Illinois by Christmas!

10.  Tom Herman, Texas – We have 2 long-term fishing buddies in Austin who are Texas-alums that we have fished all over Texas with the last 20 or so years and after Texas lost to Maryland on Saturday we called one of those fishing buddies to get his take on the situation at Texas with head coach Tom Herman now sitting on records of….

Overall:  7 – 7

Big 12:  5 – 4

…and his response was:

“If Tom Herman is going to be an Arrogant Ass that’s OK with me…but he better start Damn winning some football games because he won’t last long being an Arrogant Ass and an Average Coach!”

We took that “he won’t last long” meaning that if Tom Herman doesn’t show significant improvement in 2018 the alums might start looking for a new head coach that is NOT…

An Arrogant Ass AND Can Win Some Football Games

…and with that in mind let’s see what the 0 – 1 Horns have left in 2018:

Tulsa
USC
TCU
At Kansas State
Oklahoma
Baylor
At Oklahoma State
West Virginia
At Texas Tech
Iowa State
At Kansas

We cannot see how Texas wins less than 8 games in 2018 with Tulsa and Kansas on the schedule but if Herman has improved Texas over that Pitiful Performance in 2017 then 9 wins seems like the mark that Herman needs to hit when you factor in that he is an Arrogant Ass!

Arrogant Asses have to win ONE more game a season to stay off the Hot Seat than Non-Arrogant Asses is how the rule works!

Post Spring 2018 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

 

With the 2018 College Football Spring Games almost complete it’s time to take a look at the Head Coaches now sitting on the Hot Seat and look towards the Fall as we celebrate Spring and look towards Summer vacations ourselves. We also need to look ahead to the 2018 schedules for each of the teams with Head Coaches on the Hot Seat and guess on a win/loss record and if the Head Coach will still be employed by the school by the time the middle of December rolls around.

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give a Spring Hello to the Head Coaches now on the Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Coaches Hot Seat Ranking – May 2018

#1 – 10 CFB Head Coaches on the Hot Seat – May 2018

1.  David Beaty, Kansas – David Beaty is entering his 4 th season as the head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks and his records are Not Good…make that…they are Damn Ugly!

Overall:  3 – 33

Big 12:  1 – 26

Let’s not forget in this spot that current Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger also hired Charlie Weis to coach Kansas in 2012 and Weis + Beaty’s records combined with Interim Head Coach Clint Bowen have posted records over the past 6 years of….

Overall:  9 – 62

Big 12:  3 – 51

If you were wondering how Sheaon Zenger is still employed at Kansas you are not alone but let’s look at the 2018 schedule for the Total Damn Disaster that is the Kansas Football Program and see where this train wreck is going:

Nicholls
At Central Michigan
Rutgers
At Baylor
Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

That looks to us like a record of….

1 – 11

OR

2 – 10

…..for Kansas in 2018 and there’s no way David Beaty can survive another Total Damn Disaster of a season….right?

Who the Hell knows….after all….this is Kansas!

2.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – We still haven’t a clue why Lovie Smith was hired as the head football coach at Illinois since Lovie did nothing in his coaching career to make us think he would EVER be a successful college head coach.

In fact, having watched Lovie Smith coach closely in his 11 seasons as the head coach of the Chicago Bears and Tampa Bay Buccaneers it’s our opinion that Lovie is a classic “NFL Coach” and therefore would always be an Average College Head Coach at best and so far….

Lovie has been a Well-Below Average College Head Coach!

Lovie Smith’s records at Illinois:

Overall:  5 – 19

Big Ten:  2 – 16

Not good….let’s look at the 2018 Illinois Football Schedule to see where this may be going….

Kent State
Western Illinois
USF
Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

That looks like 3 or 4 wins for Lovie Smith and the Illini in 2018 and….

There’s Not A Chance In Hell Lovie Smith can survive 4 win or less season and return to coach Illinois in 2019.

3.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If anyone had told us before the 2013 college football season that Kliff Kingsbury would be sitting on records of…

Overall:  30 – 33

Big 12:  16 – 29

….at Texas Tech and that Kliff still be the head coach of the Red Raiders we wouldn’t believe it and yet….

Kliff Kingsbury is still the head coach in Lubbock!

Got Nuts? Yep!

Can Kliff Kingsbury possibly keep his job by posting another .500 or so records each season at Texas Tech?

We haven’t a Damn Clue but the standards have been lowered so much for Texas Tech Football maybe Kliff can hang onto his job in the middle of an incredibly Mediocre Run the last 5 seasons and with that in mind let’s look at the Red Raiders 2018 schedule…

Ole Miss
Lamar
Houston
At Oklahoma State
West Virginia
At TCU
Kansas
At Iowa State
Oklahoma
Texas
At Kansas State
Baylor

Best Case Scenario: Texas Tech wins 7 games

Worst Case Scenario: Texas Tech wins 4 games

Can Kliff Kingsbury survive to coach Texas Tech another year with just 7 wins in 2018?

Maybe so…and that says a Helluva Lot about how accepting of Mediocrity folks in Lubbock have become and let’s just hope that disease doesn’t spread to the rest of America because it would destroy our country!

4.  Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – Luke Fickell is entering his 3 rd season as a head coach in his 2 nd year at Cincinnati and fans of college football will remember that Fickell took over a Loaded Ohio State team after Jim Tressel got fired in the Spring of 2011 and promptly went 6 – 6 taking his team to a Gator Bowl which cost an undefeated Ohio State football team a chance to play for a National Title in 2012 under Urban Meyer.

The question for us here at Coaches Hot Seat as we look at Fickell’s two years as a head coach….

Overall: 10 – 15

Conference:  5 – 11

…and his record at Cincinnati after one year….

Overall:  4 – 8

AAC:  2 – 6

….does Luke Fickell have a Damn Clue how to be a head coach?

That question will be answered in 2018 because this 2 nd season under Fickell should be a bounce-back year to at least a .500 record and with that in mind let’s look at the Bearcats 2018 schedule:

At UCLA
At Miami (Ohio)
Alabama A&M
Ohio
At UConn
Tulane
At Temple
At SMU
Navy
USF
At UCF
East Carolina

Cincinnati should win at least…6 games in 2018….but will Fickell coach the Bearcats to at least 6 wins?

No….in our humble opinion and more than likely because Fickell has a Totally Damn Absurd buyout in his contract the folks at Cincinnati will have to tolerate Below Mediocrity for the foreseeable future….in our humble opinion!

5.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – Kalani Sitake took over a BYU Football team from former head coach Bronco Mendenhall who posted…

11 straight winning seasons

….which Sitake continued in Year 1 with a record of….

9 – 4

…but in Year 2 the Cougars dropped to…

4 – 9

….and now Sitake is coaching for his job because we don’t think there’s ANY CHANCE the folks in Provo will tolerate two straight losing seasons which takes us to BYU’s 2018 schedule:

At Arizona
California
At Wisconsin
McNeese
At Washington
Utah State
Hawaii
Northern Illinois
At Boise State
At UMass
New Mexico State
At Utah

There’s at least 6 wins on that schedule and thus No Good Excuse for Kalani Sitake and his Cougars to have a losing record in 2018!

6.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – When one looks at Jim Harbaugh’s records in three years at Michigan…

2015:  10 – 3
2016:  10 – 3
2017:  8 – 5

Overall:  28 – 11

Big Ten:  18 – 8

….they don’t look too bad but when realizes that Michigan has played 22 FBS teams with .500 or better records the last three seasons and Jimmy’s record against those teams is…

10 – 12

….it’s easy to understand why Jimmy is now sitting on the Hot Seat!

Jim Harbaugh is being paid an enormous amount of money….

$7 Million Plus Annually

……to build a Championship Football Program at Michigan meaning….

Winning Big Ten Championships
Playing in College Football Playoff
Winning National Championships

….and in April 2018 the above goals seem so far away one must start to wonder….

How long can this Mediocrity continue for Jim Harbaugh at Michigan?

The word from a close Michigan alum in San Francisco is….

“If Jim only wins 8 games again in 2018 he will not be the head coach of Blue in December.”

With that in mind let’s look at the 2018 Michigan Football Schedule:

At Notre Dame
Western Michigan
SMU
Nebraska
At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

If Michigan can beat Notre Dame in South Bend on the opening weekend then maybe Blue can be 3 – 0 heading into Big Ten play but with Scott Frost now in Lincoln, and the second game at Northwestern, along with at least FOUR other Big Ten games where Michigan might be the underdog it’s not hard to conjure up another….

8 – 4

…record of Michigan in 2018 and if that happens….

Michigan will have a new head football coach before January 1, 2019.

Where could Jim Harbaugh end up if things don’t work out at Michigan?

Our guess —-> New York Jets for 2019 season!

7.  Ed Orgeron, LSU – In two seasons at LSU Ed Orgeron is sitting on records of…

Overall:  15 – 6

SEC:  10 – 4

….but let’s get serious here in the last two seasons under Coach O LSU has played…

14 FBS Teams with .500 or better records

…and the Tigers’ record in those games is…

8 – 6

…and in case you didn’t know it…

That’s NOT LSU Football!

Let’s go to the 2018 LSU schedule to see where this could be going in Baton Rouge….

Miami (Dallas)
SE Louisiana
At Auburn
La. Tech
Ole Miss
At Florida
Georgia
Mississippi State
Alabama
At Arkansas
Rice
At Texas A&M

Geez…that’s a pretty TOUGH schedule and if LSU loses that opening game to Miami in Dallas it’s not hard to imagine the Tigers being…

3 – 2

…heading to Gainesville to play Florida with….

Georgia
Mississippi State
Alabama

….up next for Coach O.

Our guess….LSU ends up with a record of….

5 – 7

…in 2018 and LSU had a new head football coach before January 1, 2019!

This would be a GREAT season for Lane Kiffin to put up 11 – 1 or at worst 10 – 2 season at Florida Atlantic which opens the season at Oklahoma if Lane is hoping to get a head coaching job in the SEC namely in Baton Rouge!

8.  Major Applewhite, Houston – Big Houston booster Tilman Fertita has made it clear he is not going to tolerate Houston football slipping back into Mediocrity after the Cougars posted a record of…

22 – 4

….in Tom Herman’s two seasons at Houston which is especially GREAT compared to the….

7 – 6

…record that Major Applewhite posted in his first year on the job in H-Town!

We have it on “very good authority” that if Major Applewhite wins less than…

10 Games in 2018

….that his job will be in serious jeopardy after the Cougars play at Memphis on November 23.

With that in mind let’s go to the 2018 Houston schedule:

At Rice
Arizona
At Texas Tech
Texas Southern
Tulsa
At East Carolina
At Navy
USF
At SMU
Temple
Tulane
At Memphis

If you think Houston is going to win at least 10 games with the above schedule then you are seeing something we aren’t for Damn sure!

9.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – You can sit around all day trying to figure out why North Carolina took a step back in 2017 under head coach Larry Fedora but when one realizes that the Tar Heels were ranked…

#88 in Scoring Defense giving up 31.3 points per game

AND

#83 in Scoring Offense scoring 26 points per game

…you are not going to win a Helluva lot of football games and thus the…

3 – 9

….UNC record last season!

Larry Fedora’s records in SIX seasons at North Carolina don’t look too bad…

Overall:  43 – 34

ACC:  27 – 21

….but Fedora cannot survive another losing season in Chapel Hill and with that let’s look at the Tar Heels 2016 schedule:

At California
At East Carolina
UCF
Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

It may be hard for North Carolina to win at least 6 games in 2018 with that schedule unless there is a dramatic turnaround on both sides of the ball and if UNC only wins 5 games this coming season…

Larry Fedora’s head coaching career is probably OVER at least at the Power 5 Level….which should be Plenty of Damn Pressure to motivate Larry!

10.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – The most Damning record for Dana Holgorsen in his SIX seasons at West Virginia is the Mountaineers record in Big 12 Conference play since WVU joined the Big 12 in the 2012 season:

27 – 27

Getting above .500 and going to bowl games at West Virginia each season which is certainly geographically challenged in the Big 12 Conference is kind of an accomplishment….but come on now….don’t we all expect more out of West Virginia football that just…

Mediocrity?

YES!

Let’s look at West Virginia’s 2018 schedule….

Tennessee (Charlotte)
Youngstown State
At NC State
Kansas State
At Texas Tech
Kansas
At Iowa State
Baylor
At Texas
TCU
At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma

That looks like another 7 – 5 season for Holgorsen at West Virginia in 2018 and will that be acceptable to the folks in Morgantown?

We haven’t a Damn Clue…but we sure Hell wouldn’t accept it!

Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

 

Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Thanks Mr. Cash!

1.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The overall record for Butch Jones at Tennessee is bad enough…

33 – 25

….in his FIFTH year on the job but it’s Jones record in SEC Conference play that is the reason he’s headed for the chopping block…

14 – 22

…with these games still left to be played in 2017:

At Kentucky
Southern Miss
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt

Yep…even if Butch Jones and his Vols won their last 4 SEC Conference games his record in SEC play would still just be…

18 – 22

….and there’s No Chance In Hell that fans of Tennessee Football should tolerate Butch Jones’ SEC record and thus that’s why the Vols will have a new head football coach come 2018!

Our guess…Tennessee finishes with a 4 – 8 record in 2017 and a Total Damn Mess on its hands as the folks in Knoxville try to figure out where to go next….here’s a tip for Tennessee AD John Currie when considering who to hire as the next head football coach at Tennessee:

Imagine in your mind’s eye Nick Saban’s reaction to hearing the name of the person who Tennessee hired to be its next head football coach. Is Nick smiling, does he have no reaction, does he grunt and think that maybe the Vols will be a tough win now. Don’t hire the coach that makes Nick Saban smile Currie!

2.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – With the loss to Auburn on Saturday Bret Bielema’s record in SEC play in his FIFTH year on the job is now at…

10 – 26

….which is a winning percentage of…

.278

…and the previous two head coaches at Arkansas Houston Nutt and Bobby Petrino posted a combined winning percentage in SEC Conference play of…

.527

Considering the above there is a very good argument that could be made that Bret Bielema is the…

WORST HIRE

…in the SEC Conference since the end of World War II which would mean Arkansas AD Jeff Long has hired as the head coach of the Razorbacks:

Bobby Petrino – Wouldn’t hire to wash our cars!
John L. Smith – Only an insane person would hire John L. Smith!
Bret Bielema – The WORST hire in SEC since end of World War II!

Now at 2 – 5 on the season Arkansas still has to play this season games against…

At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

…and there is a very real chance that the Hogs finish with just THREE wins in Bret Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job in Fayetteville!

Got fire the whole Damn Arkansas athletic department?

You do if you don’t want Arkansas Football Totally Destroyed!

3.  David Beaty, Kansas – It was just Stupid at Kansas but after the Jayhawks 43 – 0 loss to TCU the week after losing to Iowa State 45 – 0 it’s just…

Who gives a Damn about Kansas Football?

…and the answer to that question would be…NO ONE AT ALL!

David Beaty is in his THIRD season at Kansas and his records are…

Overall:  3 – 28

Big 12:  1 – 21

…and if Beaty isn’t fired before December 1 then why in the Hell is Kansas even bothering to play football?

Same goes for Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger who hired Charlie Weis and David Beaty and if Zenger worked in the Real World and not on a college campus his ass would have been…

Fired Long Ago!

4.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Mike Riley had a good week in the bye week because the Huskers didn’t get their ass whipped and now the 3 – 4 Huskers travel to play a decent Purdue team that somehow just lost to Rutgers and if Nebraska loses this game it will be because the Husker players have…

Flat-Out Quit

….but there are many here at Coaches Hot Seat that believe a lot of Husker football players Flat-Out Quit against Ohio State!

3 – 4 Nebraska has left in 2017….

At Purdue
Northwestern
At Minnesota
At Penn State
Iowa

….which looks to us like a losing season for the Huskers but Mike Riley had 5 losing seasons in 14 seasons coaching at Oregon State…including the season before he was hired at Nebraska…which makes one wonder…

Why in the Hell was Mike Riley hired at Nebraska?

Because former Nebraska Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst doesn’t know his ass from the side of a barn…that’s why!

5.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – With the Illini’s loss to Minnesota on Saturday Lovie Smith’s records at Illinois now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 14

Big Ten:  2 – 11

…and those 5 wins were over:

Murray State
Rutgers
Michigan State
Ball State
Western Kentucky

Please….can someone….anyone…tell us why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois?

Didn’t think so!

6.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were there on the day that Jim Harbaugh was introduced as the new head football coach at Stanford in December 2006 and we were there when Stanford beat USC in Jimmy’s first season in early October 2006 at the LA Coliseum and we were there for ALL of Jimmy’s FOUR seasons on The Farm and thus we believe we know Jimmy Harbaugh very well!

With the above in mind it’s obvious to us that something is…

Terribly Wrong at Michigan

….and it goes beyond Jimmy’s record in his last 11 games which is by the way…

6 – 5

…and we are not going to pretend we know what is going but there’s something….

Terribly Wrong at Michigan

…in our humble opinion of course!

Most surprising of all to us here at Coaches Hot Seat who watched Jim Harbaugh recruit Andrew Luck and several other solid quarterbacks to Stanford when the 2017 season kicked-off Michigan didn’t have a FBS-level QB on its roster which begs the question?

What the Hell is going on Jimmy?

Well let’s see here….watching replays of Michigan’s games against Michigan State and Penn State we have come to the following conclusions about the Wolverines offense = Jim Harbaugh’s offense:

1.  Michigan doesn’t have a FBS-level QB on its roster. Hell, Michigan doesn’t have a college-level QB on its roster. Hell, Michigan doesn’t have a high school level QB on its roster! Yes…that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

2.  The Michigan Offensive line could be easily whipped in a fist fight by 3…maybe even 2…members of Coaches Hot Seat and as a group there is not a bigger group of Candy Asses in America…save the Candy Ass Tech Boys in Silicon Valley…than the Michigan Offensive Line. Yes…that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

3.  The Michigan Running Backs and Wide Receivers are hardly coached at all and if they are coached the coaches that are coaching them should be fired…like this afternoon! SOFT and LAZY are the words that come to mind when we think of the Michigan Running Backs and Wide Receivers and…Yes, that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

4.  The Michigan offensive play-calling in one word is…SHIT! Make that TOTAL SHIT..and Yes, that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

Besides all of the above you have a pretty decent offense at Michigan this season Jimmy!

Michigan is now 5 – 2 in 2017 and still has the below games left on their schedule:

Rutgers
Minnesota
At Maryland
At Wisconsin
Ohio State

Hell….Michigan might only win 2…maybe 3…more games in 2017 which is Jim Harbaugh’s THIRD year on the job and we only have the following to say to Jimmy Harbaugh:

Get your Damn ass together Son or your head coaching career is going to be over in a flash!

7.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – The calls from our Mormon friends in Utah started about four weeks ago after Utah State beat BYU by the score of…

40 – 24

…and if you have Mormon friends then you know….

These folks don’t complain about ANYTHING

…and yet their calls keep coming and they are saying things like….

“You just cannot believe what is going on behind the scenes of BYU football.”

“BYU football is just the biggest mess you can possible imagine.”

“I am shocked about what I am being told is going on in Provo.”

At first we didn’t know what to think but after BYU lost to East Carolina..one of the worst teams in FBS football…on Saturday by the score of…

33 – 17

…we are now convinced after doing some checking of our own that BYU Football is in a Meltdown for the Ages in the history of college football in America and that the Cougars might not win another game this season even with some very weak teams left on their schedule:

San Jose State
At Fresno State
At UNLV
UMass
At Hawaii

Because the information we have gathered is second-hand we are not going to write our opinion on what is going on with BYU Football but we will say this…if the current trend continues….BYU may very well have a new head football coach come December and the Kalani Sitake era at BYU will be over before it really even got started.

8.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If there was one thing that Kliff Kingsbury could not have let happened in Year FIVE as the head coach at Texas Tech was let Iowa State come into Lubbock and whip his Red Raiders on Homecoming weekend which leaves Kingsbury’s records now at…

Overall:  28 – 29

Big 12:  14 – 26

…and Texas Tech now at 4 – 3 on the season still having to play these teams:

At Oklahoma
Kansas State
Baylor
TCU
At Texas

Damn….it’s going to be mighty hard for Texas Tech to get to 6 wins on the season and less than 6 wins in 2017 and Kingsbury will have posted…

3 Losing Seasons in 5 Years on the Job

….which even at Texas Tech will get your ass fired…right?

Right!

Since it seems obvious that now member of TCU coaching staff Sonny Dykes would be a natural fit as the head coach at Texas Tech we would recommend that Kingsbury find a way to get to at least SEVEN wins in 2017 or more than likely the folks in Lubbock will be hiring them a new head football coach December.

9.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – After North Carolina’s 59 – 7 loss to Virginia Tech on Saturday one has to wonder if the Tar Heels have totally quit on head coach Larry Fedora or maybe this is just God’s way of getting justice against the North Carolina Athletic Department which somehow was able to get away with…

Totally Not Monitoring the Academic Activities of its Athletes

…for decades but whatever the reason for the current slide of UNC Football there is one thing we know for sure….

North Carolina is getting its ass-whipped on a regular basis in 2017 and either Larry Fedora will fix this mess in Chapel Hill or his ass should and will get run right out of town!

North Carolina is now 1 – 7 on the season and has left to play…

Miami
At Pitt
Western Carolina
At NC State

Got 2 – 10 Larry?

You are about to have it Son!

10.  Jim McElwain, Florida – It seems that Jim McElwain’s luck is finally running out which began long before he got the head coaching job at Florida and actually began when Nick Saban plucked Jimmy from Fresno State to be the offensive coordinator at Alabama where…

Any Damn Moron can get the Alabama offense to score 30+ points a game

…which then led to Jimmy getting the Colorado State job where he did some decent work and then the Florida job where Jimmy was fortunate enough to arrive in Gainesville when the SEC East was the weakest it has been since the SEC went to two divisions BUT Oh those days are over and on Saturday the 3 – 3 Gators get to play a Georgia Football team that is actually a…

Georgia Football Team

…and by late Saturday night the Gators will no doubt be 3 – 4 with these games still left on the schedule:

At Missouri
At South Carolina
UBA
Florida State

Hell…Florida will be lucky to win 6 games in 2017 and thus it looks like Jim McElwain will be on the Hot Seat for the foreseeable future.

Oh and here’s something else Jimmy..not only could Any Damn Moron get the Alabama offense to score 30+ points a game…

Any Damn Moron can win 8 games a year at Florida!

Personally we like Jim McElwain and ran into him a couple of times when he was with the Oakland Raiders in 2006 and in the Flathead Valley of Montana where we are almost every Summer for a fishing trip BUT Jimmy if you are presented with a good head coaching job offer at another Power 5 school in the coming weeks…you might want to consider it Jimmy because things are about to get really HOT in Gainesville not withstanding whatever Yahoos have been sending you and your players death threats which should be turned over to the police immediately!

Coach ‘Em Up Jimmy!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Best Land Under Heaven: The Donner Party in the Age of Manifest Destiny

 

Before we get to the Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings the members of Coaches Hot Seat have been reading a GREAT book the last few weeks which will give anyone a great perspective on life and one’s relative lack of luck in their lives on this Earth. The book is…

The Best Land Under Heaven: The Donner Party in the Age of Manifest Destiny, Michael Wallis, Amazon.com

…and not only does the above book provide an amazing history of the trials and tribulations of the Donner Party’s trip from the Midwest to California in 1846, it weaves into the story many important parts of American history that will change how you view our Great Country. As the great Civil War author and historian Shelby Foote has rightly said…

“One cannot understand America without understanding the US Civil War.”

…one cannot also really understand America without knowing about the massive movement of Americans to the West in the middle of the 19 th Century before and after gold was found in California in 1849.

The main lesson though we got from the book The Best Land Under Heaven is that no matter how bad things are in our lives they could be a Helluva lot worse which brings some great perspective to our daily lives and with that in mind let’s get to the latest ranking of multi-millionaire college head coaches on the Hot Seat who haven’t a care in the world beyond their asses now being lit-up!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Thank Johnny!

1.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – If Butch Jones hadn’t committed so many verbal and personal gaffes at Tennessee the last five seasons he might have a fighting chance to survive to coach the Vols in 2018 with plenty of winnable games left on the schedule but after back-to-back home losses to Georgia and South Carolina it’s all but over for one of the most disliked men in Tennessee football history.

There’s an art + science to a college head football coach winning over both his football team and fan base and Butch Jones has amazingly alienated both to varying degrees at Tennessee and thus Butch has all but given up an important thing for coaches….”the benefit of the doubt”…when things get tough and with Alabama on deck for the 3 – 3 Vols Jones has now worked himself into a position where he better Damn have Chubby Boy in Memphis looking for an exit door to another head coaching job IF Jones wants to coach next season.

Here’s what Tennessee has left in 2017:

At Alabama
At Kentucky
Southern Miss
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt

Our guess the Vols win 6 or 7 games at best in 2017 and there’s not a chance in Hell Butch Jones will survive that in Year 5 in Knoxville so the attention now turns to who will be the next head football coach at Tennessee which will be one of the most interesting hires in the upcoming weeks.

2.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – If there is one thing we really distrust at Coaches Hot Seat it is anything categorized as a “slam-dunk” and Bret Bielema was described as such when hired at Arkansas in 2013 and yet here we are FIVE years later and Bielema now has on the board:

Overall:  27 – 30

SEC:  10 – 25

Nope….Bret Bielema was NOT a “slam-dunk” hire at Arkansas and in reality Bielema has made a Helluva lot of bad decisions in Fayetteville primarily around assistant coaches he has hired + failed to keep which is richly ironic since one of the reasons some claimed Bielema took the Arkansas job was that he couldn’t get more money for his assistants at Wisconsin! Bret Bielema has had ALL the Damn Money and Resources he has needed or possibly wanted at Arkansas and yet his record in SEC play is…

10 – 25

….so please don’t tell us Bielema hasn’t had every Damn chance to win games in Fayetteville because the reality is he has had EVERYTHING and he has FAILED miserably!

What is really scary at Arkansas is that there are otherwise smart people like Arky AD Jeff Long who don’t have the ability to admit they were “wrong” or even to make it clear that expectations at Arkansas are a Helluva lot higher than what Bielema has been not achieving with the Hogs and what a great lesson this is for everyone who should learn from this situation that…

When Wrong…Admit You Are Wrong…Learn From Your Mistakes…and Move the Hell On To Fixing the Damn Problem!

Instead Arkansas AD Jeff Long is in deep denial about Bret Bielema but then why wouldn’t Long be in denial since after all he has hired as head football coaches at Arky that in the end turned out to be…

Bobby Petrino – Total Damn Disaster
John L. Smith – Total Damn Disaster
Bret Bielema – Total Damn Disaster

Some may argue that Bobby Petrino won a Helluva lot of games at Arkansas, but there is not a chance in Hell we would have hired Petrino then or today to wash our cars because we have standards somewhere way the Hell north of Jeff Long and the University of Arkansas and when you set your standards low no one should be surprised that your ass ends up looking like a fool when a motorcycle accident happens!

After the loss to Alabama the 2 – 4 Hogs now have left on the schedule…

Auburn
At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

…and does anyone with a working brain think Arkansas can win 4 of their last 6 games to get to even a .500 record in Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job?

Nope and that is why fans of Arkansas Football have one choice and one choice only…

Fire AD Jeff Long AND Head Coach Bret Bielema

…or let your football program be totally destroyed!

It’s YOUR choice fans of Arkansas Football!

3.  David Beaty, Kansas – Things are getting Very Damn Stupid at the University of Kansas and we write that because KU AD Sheahon Zenger has hired two head football coaches….Charlie Weis and David Beaty….and their combined records the last SIX seasons stands at:

Overall:  9 – 49

Big 12:  2 – 38

Geez….can someone explain to us how Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger is still employed in Lawrence?

Oh…current Kansas head coach David Beaty’s records are now…

Overall:  3 – 27

Big 12:  1 – 20

..and the 1 – 5 Jayhawks still have to play in 2017….

At TCU
Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State

…which looks to us like a 1 – 11 record in Beaty’s THIRD season on the job.

Can ANY head football coach and the AD that hired him survive the above records?

Not in the Real World but is the University of Kansas part of the Real World?

Not really it seems!

4.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – The Cold Hard Reality of Mike Riley’s tenure at Nebraska are his records which after the Total Debacle home loss to Ohio State now stand at…

Overall:  18 – 15

Big Ten:  11 – 10

….which would get ANY coach fired in Lincoln and now there really is nothing that can save Riley’s job barring the Yellowstone Supervolcano erupting and ending all life on Earth!

With the above reality in mind it will be interesting to see who new Nebraska AD Bill Moos hires to replace Mike Riley between now and early December and we would be stunned if Moos tried to bring Washington State head coach Mike Leach to Lincoln since our friends in the Great State of Nebraska that we checked with aren’t really into a…

Head Coach blaming his players when HIS team gets its ass whipped as Washington State got whipped by California on Friday night!

…but then who the Hell wants a coach that gives blame when HIS team loses and takes credit when THEY win? As Paul “Bear” Bryant rightly said and which no doubt the Great Tom Osborne would agree with…

“If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”

….which Mike Leach has turned on its head by essentially saying to his players:

When things go right I get the credit and when thing go wrong YOU get the blame!

Who in the Hell would want his Son playing for a coach that believes that kind of Total and Non-American Excuse Making Bullshit and where exactly was Mike Leach raised because Real Americans don’t raise Total Asses that care little about anything but their own Precious Ass?

Pitiful Mike Leach…just So Damn Pitiful and if you lost a couple more games it will be a Damn Pleasure to roast your Sorry and Pitiful Ass Mike!

The obvious choice of the next head coach at Nebraska is of course UCF HC Scott Frost but Frost might have several attractive offers to choose from in the coming weeks and if Frost does decide to go elsewhere Moos will have a career defining job to do that will determine the future fate of Nebraska Football so no pressure at all Bill and Good Luck to you in the new job as well!

5.  Barry Odom, Missouri – After the loss to Georgia on Saturday Mizzou head coach Barry’s Odom’s records now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 13

SEC:  2 – 10

….and the 1 – 5 Tigers still have to play in 2017:

Idaho
At UConn
Florida
Tennessee
At Vanderbilt
At Arkansas

…and our guess is that Mizzou wins 3….maybe 4 games…this season and that would be 4 wins or less TWO straight seasons and nothing short of a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Mizzou Football!

6.  Jim Mora, UCLA – For some reason between the 2015 and 2016 football seasons they quit teaching the UCLA Bruins football players how to tackle in Westwood and “Surprise – Surprise”…NOT…. in the last two seasons the Bruins under Jim Mora have posted records of…

Overall:  7 – 11

Pac-12:  3 – 8

….and now at 3 – 3 after the loss to Arizona what is still left on the schedule in 2017 is…

Oregon
At Washington
At Utah
Arizona State
At USC
California

….which looks like SIX wins at best for Mora & Company and is that acceptable to the folks at UCLA in Mora’s SIXTH year on the job?

It might just be!

7.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – Congratulations to Todd Graham and his Arizona State football team on beating the Mighty Washington Huskies which for some reason looked unprepared and borderline un-coached in Tempe on Saturday night….What’s Up With That Pete?….and with that win over the Huskies the 3 – 3 Sun Devils have to keep things rolling because head coach Graham needs 7+ wins to hang onto this job and here is what ASU still has in front of them this season:

At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

One of the toughest things for a college head football coach is to get his team down from the HIGH of a beating a top-ranked team and Todd Graham has his work cut-out for him in getting the Sun Devils re-focused to play a very tough Utah team in Salt Lake City on Saturday because a loss to the Utes on Saturday and Graham will be moving right back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings again!

8.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – In a season where Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn needs no more than 4 losses AND a win over either Georgia or Alabama to save his job losing two games to Clemson and LSU with Georgia and Alabama still left on the schedule is definitely Not A Good Thing and the calculus for Malzahn is that he has NO margin for error between now and the first of December with the 5 – 2 Tigers still having to play games against…

At Arkansas
At Texas A&M
Georgia
La. Monroe
Alabama

Bottom-Line:

If Gus Malzahn loses to Georgia and Alabama to finish at 8 – 4 he’s DONE at Auburn

If Gus Malzahn loses another game but beats either Georgia and Alabama to finish at 8 – 4 he HAS A CHANCE at Auburn

Yep…this is about Gus Malzahn winning at least one of the two games against Georgia and Alabama and we would recommend that Malzahn and his Tigers not lose either of the next two games before Georgia comes to The Plains on November 11 because that would put Gus into a borderline impossible spot so…

Coach Hard Gus because your job in on the line EVERY week Son!

9.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Can someone…anyone…explain to us why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois?

No one can explain to us why Lovie Smith is the head coach at Illinois?

Didn’t think so and now after nothing short of a Total Disaster of a loss to Rutgers at home which came into the game with 16 straight Big Ten Conference losses Lovie Smith’s records with the Illini now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 13

Big Ten:  2 – 10

…and they still have to play this season:

At Minnesota
Wisconsin
At Purdue
Indiana
At Ohio State
Northwestern

Hell…will Illinois win another game in 2017?

Hell..even if they do win 1 or 2 of their last 6 games to finish at 3 – 9 or 4 – 8 how could Lovie Smith stay employed at Illinois?

The reality is that there are some coaches that are Pro Coaches and there are some coaches that are College Coaches and then there are a TINY amount of coaches that can coach both Pro and College players and if there is one thing that coaches that have successfully coached in both the Pro and College games…think Jimmy Johnson and Pete Carroll…it is they have…

PASSION

…for the Great Game of Football and thus can motivate 18 – 22 year old kids and Lovie Smith seems to us to be…

Barely Awake Even During the Games

….so Please…how in the Hell can Lovie Smith ever win a Damn thing at Illinois?

Eventually Lovie Smith will be fired at Illinois because there’s not a chance in Hell he will ever make the Illini competitive in the Uber-competitive Big Ten Conference and when the firing of a coach is inevitable it’s ALWAYS best to get on with the firing which is something the AD at Illinois will either understand now or learn eventually in the next year or so!

10.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s BC team beat Louisville on Saturday which was nice win BUT beating this year’s Louisville team is not going to be that big of a deal come the end of the season because Louisville couldn’t stop the prison team from the original The Longest Yard movie and with that win Addazio’s Eagles improved to 3 – 4 in 2017 with these games still left to be played…

At Virginia
Florida State
NC State
UConn
At Syracuse

Unlike Louisville most of the above teams actually play DEFENSE and thus we fully expect BC to finish with a losing record in 2017 and for Steve Addazio to lose his job come late November – early December because with these records on the board…

Overall:  27 – 31

ACC:  12 – 24

…how could Addazio possibly keep his job with another losing season this year?

#11 Hot Seat Head Coach – Lovie Smith, Illinois – Illinois Football = “Whatever!”

 

#11 Hot Seat Head Coach – Lovie Smith, Illinois

When in March 2016 it was announced that Illini head football coach Bill Cubit had been fired to be replaced with Lovie Smith the reaction at Coaches Hot Seat was about as close as one can get to…

“Whatever!”

….without actually being “Whatever” and that is because if there is a school playing Power 5 Conference football that has won less with more resources that Illinois we certainly the Hell don’t know that school!

Consider this for a moment….

Since Ron Turner was hired as the Illinois head coach in 1997 the Illini have posted….

SIX .500 or better records in the last 19 seasons

….and we don’t have ANY reason at all to believe that Lovie Smith who before getting Illini job had posted a record of….

89 – 87

…in 11 seasons coaching the Chicago Bears and Tampa Bay Bucs in the NFL will do any better!

Would we have fired Bill Cubit at Illinois to replace him with Lovie Smith who got a six year contract paying him $21 million dollars from the Illini?

Not a chance in Hell!

Not that we don’t think a lot of Lovie Smith who did a decent job with a not always great roster with the Bears, but why would anyone think that Smith is going to bring winning ways to a college football program that has done so little winning in the last two decades?

There is no good answer to that question and that brings us to that Lovie Smith in his first year on the job coaching the Illini posted records of…

Overall:  3 – 9

Big Ten:  2 – 7

Who did Illinois beat in 2016?

Murray State
Rutgers
Michigan State

What was the combined record of the TWO legitimate football teams, Rutgers and Michigan State, that Illinois beat in 2016?

5 – 19

What then does the future hold for Lovie Smith and Illinois with a 3 – 9 record on the board in 2016?

We haven’t a Damn clue and there’s the problem! If Illinois had hired an experienced college head coach that has actually been a head coach on the college level we could make an educated guess on where Illini football is going but as for now….

No one has a Damn clue where Illini football is going in the future and don’t let anyone tell you they have a Damn clue where Illini football is going because they are lying to you!

Let’s take a look at the Illinois 2017 football schedule:

Ball State
Western Kentucky
At USF
Nebraska
At Iowa
Rutgers
At Minnesota
Wisconsin
At Purdue
Indiana
At Ohio State
Northwestern

Geez…that’s a pretty tough schedule with TWO out-of-conference games against Western Kentucky and at USF that should be pretty tough games for the Illini to win which leads us to GUESSING that Lovie Smith will finish with records of…

Overall:  3 – 9

Big Ten:  2 – 7

…which was the same record the Illini posted in 2016.

Can Lovie Smith post 3 – 9 records and hang onto his job with Illinois for the foreseeable future?

Probably so because let’s be honest here…does anyone really expect Illinois to do ANYTHING in football anymore?

Of course not!

And that’s the Damn problem!