Tag Archive: Mike Leach

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash! – The Best Land Under Heaven: The Donner Party in the Age of Manifest Destiny

 

Before we get to the Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings the members of Coaches Hot Seat have been reading a GREAT book the last few weeks which will give anyone a great perspective on life and one’s relative lack of luck in their lives on this Earth. The book is…

The Best Land Under Heaven: The Donner Party in the Age of Manifest Destiny, Michael Wallis, Amazon.com

…and not only does the above book provide an amazing history of the trials and tribulations of the Donner Party’s trip from the Midwest to California in 1846, it weaves into the story many important parts of American history that will change how you view our Great Country. As the great Civil War author and historian Shelby Foote has rightly said…

“One cannot understand America without understanding the US Civil War.”

…one cannot also really understand America without knowing about the massive movement of Americans to the West in the middle of the 19 th Century before and after gold was found in California in 1849.

The main lesson though we got from the book The Best Land Under Heaven is that no matter how bad things are in our lives they could be a Helluva lot worse which brings some great perspective to our daily lives and with that in mind let’s get to the latest ranking of multi-millionaire college head coaches on the Hot Seat who haven’t a care in the world beyond their asses now being lit-up!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Thank Johnny!

1.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – If Butch Jones hadn’t committed so many verbal and personal gaffes at Tennessee the last five seasons he might have a fighting chance to survive to coach the Vols in 2018 with plenty of winnable games left on the schedule but after back-to-back home losses to Georgia and South Carolina it’s all but over for one of the most disliked men in Tennessee football history.

There’s an art + science to a college head football coach winning over both his football team and fan base and Butch Jones has amazingly alienated both to varying degrees at Tennessee and thus Butch has all but given up an important thing for coaches….”the benefit of the doubt”…when things get tough and with Alabama on deck for the 3 – 3 Vols Jones has now worked himself into a position where he better Damn have Chubby Boy in Memphis looking for an exit door to another head coaching job IF Jones wants to coach next season.

Here’s what Tennessee has left in 2017:

At Alabama
At Kentucky
Southern Miss
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt

Our guess the Vols win 6 or 7 games at best in 2017 and there’s not a chance in Hell Butch Jones will survive that in Year 5 in Knoxville so the attention now turns to who will be the next head football coach at Tennessee which will be one of the most interesting hires in the upcoming weeks.

2.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – If there is one thing we really distrust at Coaches Hot Seat it is anything categorized as a “slam-dunk” and Bret Bielema was described as such when hired at Arkansas in 2013 and yet here we are FIVE years later and Bielema now has on the board:

Overall:  27 – 30

SEC:  10 – 25

Nope….Bret Bielema was NOT a “slam-dunk” hire at Arkansas and in reality Bielema has made a Helluva lot of bad decisions in Fayetteville primarily around assistant coaches he has hired + failed to keep which is richly ironic since one of the reasons some claimed Bielema took the Arkansas job was that he couldn’t get more money for his assistants at Wisconsin! Bret Bielema has had ALL the Damn Money and Resources he has needed or possibly wanted at Arkansas and yet his record in SEC play is…

10 – 25

….so please don’t tell us Bielema hasn’t had every Damn chance to win games in Fayetteville because the reality is he has had EVERYTHING and he has FAILED miserably!

What is really scary at Arkansas is that there are otherwise smart people like Arky AD Jeff Long who don’t have the ability to admit they were “wrong” or even to make it clear that expectations at Arkansas are a Helluva lot higher than what Bielema has been not achieving with the Hogs and what a great lesson this is for everyone who should learn from this situation that…

When Wrong…Admit You Are Wrong…Learn From Your Mistakes…and Move the Hell On To Fixing the Damn Problem!

Instead Arkansas AD Jeff Long is in deep denial about Bret Bielema but then why wouldn’t Long be in denial since after all he has hired as head football coaches at Arky that in the end turned out to be…

Bobby Petrino – Total Damn Disaster
John L. Smith – Total Damn Disaster
Bret Bielema – Total Damn Disaster

Some may argue that Bobby Petrino won a Helluva lot of games at Arkansas, but there is not a chance in Hell we would have hired Petrino then or today to wash our cars because we have standards somewhere way the Hell north of Jeff Long and the University of Arkansas and when you set your standards low no one should be surprised that your ass ends up looking like a fool when a motorcycle accident happens!

After the loss to Alabama the 2 – 4 Hogs now have left on the schedule…

Auburn
At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

…and does anyone with a working brain think Arkansas can win 4 of their last 6 games to get to even a .500 record in Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job?

Nope and that is why fans of Arkansas Football have one choice and one choice only…

Fire AD Jeff Long AND Head Coach Bret Bielema

…or let your football program be totally destroyed!

It’s YOUR choice fans of Arkansas Football!

3.  David Beaty, Kansas – Things are getting Very Damn Stupid at the University of Kansas and we write that because KU AD Sheahon Zenger has hired two head football coaches….Charlie Weis and David Beaty….and their combined records the last SIX seasons stands at:

Overall:  9 – 49

Big 12:  2 – 38

Geez….can someone explain to us how Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger is still employed in Lawrence?

Oh…current Kansas head coach David Beaty’s records are now…

Overall:  3 – 27

Big 12:  1 – 20

..and the 1 – 5 Jayhawks still have to play in 2017….

At TCU
Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State

…which looks to us like a 1 – 11 record in Beaty’s THIRD season on the job.

Can ANY head football coach and the AD that hired him survive the above records?

Not in the Real World but is the University of Kansas part of the Real World?

Not really it seems!

4.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – The Cold Hard Reality of Mike Riley’s tenure at Nebraska are his records which after the Total Debacle home loss to Ohio State now stand at…

Overall:  18 – 15

Big Ten:  11 – 10

….which would get ANY coach fired in Lincoln and now there really is nothing that can save Riley’s job barring the Yellowstone Supervolcano erupting and ending all life on Earth!

With the above reality in mind it will be interesting to see who new Nebraska AD Bill Moos hires to replace Mike Riley between now and early December and we would be stunned if Moos tried to bring Washington State head coach Mike Leach to Lincoln since our friends in the Great State of Nebraska that we checked with aren’t really into a…

Head Coach blaming his players when HIS team gets its ass whipped as Washington State got whipped by California on Friday night!

…but then who the Hell wants a coach that gives blame when HIS team loses and takes credit when THEY win? As Paul “Bear” Bryant rightly said and which no doubt the Great Tom Osborne would agree with…

“If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”

….which Mike Leach has turned on its head by essentially saying to his players:

When things go right I get the credit and when thing go wrong YOU get the blame!

Who in the Hell would want his Son playing for a coach that believes that kind of Total and Non-American Excuse Making Bullshit and where exactly was Mike Leach raised because Real Americans don’t raise Total Asses that care little about anything but their own Precious Ass?

Pitiful Mike Leach…just So Damn Pitiful and if you lost a couple more games it will be a Damn Pleasure to roast your Sorry and Pitiful Ass Mike!

The obvious choice of the next head coach at Nebraska is of course UCF HC Scott Frost but Frost might have several attractive offers to choose from in the coming weeks and if Frost does decide to go elsewhere Moos will have a career defining job to do that will determine the future fate of Nebraska Football so no pressure at all Bill and Good Luck to you in the new job as well!

5.  Barry Odom, Missouri – After the loss to Georgia on Saturday Mizzou head coach Barry’s Odom’s records now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 13

SEC:  2 – 10

….and the 1 – 5 Tigers still have to play in 2017:

Idaho
At UConn
Florida
Tennessee
At Vanderbilt
At Arkansas

…and our guess is that Mizzou wins 3….maybe 4 games…this season and that would be 4 wins or less TWO straight seasons and nothing short of a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Mizzou Football!

6.  Jim Mora, UCLA – For some reason between the 2015 and 2016 football seasons they quit teaching the UCLA Bruins football players how to tackle in Westwood and “Surprise – Surprise”…NOT…. in the last two seasons the Bruins under Jim Mora have posted records of…

Overall:  7 – 11

Pac-12:  3 – 8

….and now at 3 – 3 after the loss to Arizona what is still left on the schedule in 2017 is…

Oregon
At Washington
At Utah
Arizona State
At USC
California

….which looks like SIX wins at best for Mora & Company and is that acceptable to the folks at UCLA in Mora’s SIXTH year on the job?

It might just be!

7.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – Congratulations to Todd Graham and his Arizona State football team on beating the Mighty Washington Huskies which for some reason looked unprepared and borderline un-coached in Tempe on Saturday night….What’s Up With That Pete?….and with that win over the Huskies the 3 – 3 Sun Devils have to keep things rolling because head coach Graham needs 7+ wins to hang onto this job and here is what ASU still has in front of them this season:

At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

One of the toughest things for a college head football coach is to get his team down from the HIGH of a beating a top-ranked team and Todd Graham has his work cut-out for him in getting the Sun Devils re-focused to play a very tough Utah team in Salt Lake City on Saturday because a loss to the Utes on Saturday and Graham will be moving right back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings again!

8.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – In a season where Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn needs no more than 4 losses AND a win over either Georgia or Alabama to save his job losing two games to Clemson and LSU with Georgia and Alabama still left on the schedule is definitely Not A Good Thing and the calculus for Malzahn is that he has NO margin for error between now and the first of December with the 5 – 2 Tigers still having to play games against…

At Arkansas
At Texas A&M
Georgia
La. Monroe
Alabama

Bottom-Line:

If Gus Malzahn loses to Georgia and Alabama to finish at 8 – 4 he’s DONE at Auburn

If Gus Malzahn loses another game but beats either Georgia and Alabama to finish at 8 – 4 he HAS A CHANCE at Auburn

Yep…this is about Gus Malzahn winning at least one of the two games against Georgia and Alabama and we would recommend that Malzahn and his Tigers not lose either of the next two games before Georgia comes to The Plains on November 11 because that would put Gus into a borderline impossible spot so…

Coach Hard Gus because your job in on the line EVERY week Son!

9.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Can someone…anyone…explain to us why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois?

No one can explain to us why Lovie Smith is the head coach at Illinois?

Didn’t think so and now after nothing short of a Total Disaster of a loss to Rutgers at home which came into the game with 16 straight Big Ten Conference losses Lovie Smith’s records with the Illini now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 13

Big Ten:  2 – 10

…and they still have to play this season:

At Minnesota
Wisconsin
At Purdue
Indiana
At Ohio State
Northwestern

Hell…will Illinois win another game in 2017?

Hell..even if they do win 1 or 2 of their last 6 games to finish at 3 – 9 or 4 – 8 how could Lovie Smith stay employed at Illinois?

The reality is that there are some coaches that are Pro Coaches and there are some coaches that are College Coaches and then there are a TINY amount of coaches that can coach both Pro and College players and if there is one thing that coaches that have successfully coached in both the Pro and College games…think Jimmy Johnson and Pete Carroll…it is they have…

PASSION

…for the Great Game of Football and thus can motivate 18 – 22 year old kids and Lovie Smith seems to us to be…

Barely Awake Even During the Games

….so Please…how in the Hell can Lovie Smith ever win a Damn thing at Illinois?

Eventually Lovie Smith will be fired at Illinois because there’s not a chance in Hell he will ever make the Illini competitive in the Uber-competitive Big Ten Conference and when the firing of a coach is inevitable it’s ALWAYS best to get on with the firing which is something the AD at Illinois will either understand now or learn eventually in the next year or so!

10.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s BC team beat Louisville on Saturday which was nice win BUT beating this year’s Louisville team is not going to be that big of a deal come the end of the season because Louisville couldn’t stop the prison team from the original The Longest Yard movie and with that win Addazio’s Eagles improved to 3 – 4 in 2017 with these games still left to be played…

At Virginia
Florida State
NC State
UConn
At Syracuse

Unlike Louisville most of the above teams actually play DEFENSE and thus we fully expect BC to finish with a losing record in 2017 and for Steve Addazio to lose his job come late November – early December because with these records on the board…

Overall:  27 – 31

ACC:  12 – 24

…how could Addazio possibly keep his job with another losing season this year?

The State of Alabama Football – Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!

 

The State of Alabama Football

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A couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa from last Thursday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon for the Ole Miss – Alabama football game and to interview a few University of Alabama Culverhouse College of Commerce which they report is a mighty Damn fine school of business and late last night after doing some poking around the Alabama football program also the last few days they filed what they called…

The State of Alabama Football

…report which is Damn fascinating reading that is most certainly NOT for public consumption since many of the conclusions would probably land our asses in court if we published them in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog but we can say in this spot that…

There is something rotten in the state of Tuscaloosa!

What exactly is going on with Alabama football right now and where is the Crimson Tide football program headed into the future?

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Well…and these are our opinions here at Coaches Hot Seat mind you….BUT…the bottom-line conclusion of our folks on the ground in Tuscaloosa on The State of Alabama Football is…

Nick Saban overreacted to the “Kick 6” loss to Auburn at the end of the 2013 season which eventually led to Saban firing Bama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier and to the hiring of Lane Kiffin under what we will call…

“Dubious and Pressured Circumstances and in many ways forced on Nick Saban by “a couple of folks” in the name of “saving Lane Kiffin” precious ass when Kiffin’s coaching career was going into the toilet where it rightly belonged then and belongs today!”

…..and now instead of Nick Saban spending his time as the head coach at Alabama and primarily working on the defensive side of the ball Saban now spends upwards of 50% of his time overseeing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and the Alabama offense.

In the opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that spent several days in Tuscaloosa the once mighty Alabama offense which won three national titles for Nick Saban and was focused on controlling the ball, dominating the opposing team’s defense, and generally destroying the will of their opponents has now been “hollowed-out” by the implementation of Kiffin’s hurry-up spread offense that prizes showcasing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and Little Damn Else!

In case anyone was wondering below is the definition of “hollowed-out” as an adjective, noun and verb according to dictionary.com:

Hollowed-Out
adjective, hollower, hollowest.
1. having a space or cavity inside; not solid; empty: a hollow sphere.
2. having a depression or concavity: a hollow surface.
3. sunken, as the cheeks or eyes.
4. (of sound) not resonant; dull, muffled, or deep: a hollow voice.
5. without real or significant worth; meaningless: a hollow victory.
6. insincere or false: hollow compliments.
7. hungry; having an empty feeling: I feel absolutely hollow, so let’s eat.
noun
8. an empty space within anything; a hole, depression, or cavity.
9. a valley: They took the sheep to graze in the hollow.
10. Foundry. a concavity connecting two surfaces otherwise intersecting at an obtuse angle.
verb (used with object)
11. to make hollow (often followed by out): to hollow out a log.
12. to form by making something hollow (often followed by out): to hollow a place in the sand; boats hollowed out of logs.

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Yep…that’s the Alabama offense under Lane Kiffin…

Freaking Hollowed-Out!

On a related note the two Coaches Hot Seat members got to see Nick Saban close-up and we mean close-up…within 10 feet…before the Ole Miss – Alabama game and they wrote in their report on The State of Alabama Football about the appearance of Nick Saban and the Alabama coaching staff:

“Nick Saban looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks if not months. The area below his eyes were very swollen suggesting severe fatigue and it looked as if Saban had aged 10 years since the last time we saw him close-up at the Oklahoma – Alabama Sugar Bowl game in January 2013.

There is a noticeable tension among the Alabama coaching staff with both the staff and players looking very nervous and not confident at all right before kick-off of the game against Ole Miss. The Alabama sideline and coaches were much more subdued in the game against Ole Miss compared to when we have seen Alabama in-person in the past, and it seems the coaches and players were taking cues from Nick Saban who seemed unhappy before the game, miserable during the game, and in a complete daze as the game ended. It almost seemed like the Alabama coaches and players came into the game expecting to lose to Ole Miss and that is exactly what happened in a real world case of what one feared most becoming reality.

We foresee changes to the Alabama coaching staff in the upcoming offseason with Lane Kiffin leaving soon after the season is over if not before and maybe Nick Saban leaving Alabama if the right head coaching job offer came along because it seems that Saban is miserable having to meet the never-ending expectations at Alabama where winning games and championships isn’t expected but rather a birthright given to Alabama by God himself. Nick Saban needs a new challenge for the last 7 to 10 years of his coaching career and trying to keep winning championships at Alabama where not winning a National Title every year is akin to insulating Bama fans across the globe doesn’t look like much fun which means we believe Nick Saban will either be working in television a year from now or coaching the Texas Longhorns.”

There is a Helluva lot more in the 14 page report including an entertaining section on just what in the Hell is wrong with the Alabama offense which his titled:

“How Lane Kiffin Destroyed A Championship Winning Offense in Two Years While Getting His Ass Kissed by the Media”

OK…enough on Alabama for now….because we will have a Helluva lot more to say about Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Paul Finebaum, Jimmy Sexton, and “Y Person” if Alabama loses to Georgia and lands all four of the above Bastards on the Hot Seat with an analysis of the Complete and Total Idiocy that led to Nick Saban hiring Lane Kiffin at Alabama which may just turn-out to be one of the Stupidest Decisions in the history of sports in America as Kiffin brings down one of the Great College Football Dynasties in the history of the game and for what…to save the coaching career of Lane Freaking Kiffin!

Oh, please let Georgia beat Alabama….although in our opinion…

Georgia is NOT MAN ENOUGH to beat Alabama!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches

Come on down Johnny Cash because we have a few Coaches on the Hot Seat that love to hear you sing Ring of Fire…NOT REALLY!

ToddMonken272772

21.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles got a nice win over Texas State on the road on Saturday by the score of 56 – 50 which runs the USM record to 2 – 1 in 2015 and gives Monken’s team the opportunity to win a decent amount of games this season AND get Todd Monken off the Hot Seat!

In his third season at Southern Miss Todd Monken now has win/loss records of…

Overall:  6 – 21

CUSA:  2 – 14

….and a game at Nebraska this coming Saturday. Can Southern Miss possibly beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln and in the process further turn up the heat on Mike Riley’s ass in the process?

Probably not…BUT…the goal for Todd Monken and Southern Miss is to get to 6 wins in 2015 and with 2 wins on the board all the Golden Eagles need now is 4 wins and out of their last 9 games and if Monken can’t accomplish that in his third season on the job then his ass deserves to be on the Hot Seat!

AlGolden711771

22.  Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and the Miami Hurricanes did their Damndest to give away the game to Nebraska on Saturday but in the end the Canes got the win in overtime and now it is on to Cincinnati for the 3 – 0 “U” which is a game that a Miami head coach in his FIFTH year on the job at Miami just flat-out CANNOT LOSE!

With Florida State up next Miami MUST beat Cincinnati on the road on October 1 as they look for the “9 to 10 wins” that Al Golden MUST have to remain the Hurricanes coach in 2016 and with these games left to play it’s easy to see why Cincinnati is a MUST WIN Game!

At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
Clemson
At Duke
Virginia
At North Carolina
Georgia Tech
At Pitt

Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule for Al Golden…but Hell this is “The U” we are talking about here so if the Canes beat Cincinnati we are expecting a….

10 – 2

…final regular season record at the worst!

Coach ‘Em Up Al Golden!

CraigBohls19911

23.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has yet figured out why Craig Bohl left powerhouse FCS program North Dakota State for FBS weakling Wyoming because it was our opinion that Bohl was in line for a BIG FBS job after all his success at NDSU which we thought might be Nebraska once Bo Pelini was run out of Lincoln which was always going to happen eventually….right? RIGHT!

Maybe Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska got the word from the folks in Lincoln that he was never going to jump from North Dakota State to his alma mater BUT if we had been the AD at Nebraska we would have fired Bo Pelini a few years ago just to hire Craig Bohl BUT then what the Hell do we know compared to that Real Man of Genius now running Nebraska Athletics Shawn Eichorst who will be run out of Lincoln on a rail with his coaching hire Mike Riley if Riley doesn’t exceed Pelini’s winning ways in Lincoln…right? RIGHT!

Whatever is going on in Lincoln Craig Bohl in his second season at Wyoming is sitting on records of…

Overall:  4 – 11

MWC:  2 – 6

….and has started the 2015 season off at 0 – 3 which has put Bohl into a Helluva spot that he will only get out of by doing one thing…

Winning Football Games!

Here is what Wyoming has left to play this season…

At New Mexico
At Appalachian State
At Air Force
Nevada
At Boise State
At Utah State
Colorado State
At San Diego State
UNLV

…and if you can find 6 wins for Wyoming out of their remaining 9 games then you are either an Idiot or doing some serious Damn drugs!

Will Craig Bohl’s once promising coaching career end in the wide-open plains of Wyoming after pulling one of the strangest coaching career moves in history that rivals Paul Dietzel’s decision in 1961 to leave LSU for the Army job which also ended up as a Complete Freaking Disaster?

Maybe so.

24.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson and Tulane got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over FCS Maine and now it’ss back to Not Really Big Boy Football after a bye week when Tulane hosts UCF which will probably be 0 – 4 once they get to New Orleans and in a Complete and Total Death Spiral under George O’Leary who it seems wants to be an AD more than he wants to be a Head Coach with his UCF football team reflecting that reality!

Very simply Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 and when we write Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 we mean Curtis Johnson needs…

6 Wins in the Regular Season

….to get Tulane back to a bowl game and somewhat back in the conversation as a legitimate football program and if Tulane doesn’t get 6 wins in 2015 then a pretty decent job for an up-and-coming young football coach who loves eating good food will probably open up in the Great City of New Orleans come December.

Get some wins Curtis Johnson starting with a win over Hapless UCF on October 3 but until then enjoy New Orleans!

DanaHolgorsen17171

25.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – After starting 2 – 0 with wins over Georgia Southern and Liberty West Virginia had a bye week and now the football season actually begins with a MUST WIN Game against Maryland at home that Dana Holgorsen and the Mountaineers MUST WIN because they have a trip to Oklahoma on deck and being at 2 – 2 after four games would do nothing but turn the heat up on Holgorsen’s ass and make things very uncomfortable for Dana when Oklahoma State shows up in Morgantown on October 10.

BEAT Maryland and get off the Hot Seat for now Dana Holgorsen.

LOSE to Maryland and the Hot Seat just gets HOTTER Dana Holgorsen!

26.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Here’s the problem for Kent State head coach Paul Haynes:

Paul Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won 11 games in 2012 under Darrell Hazell and here are Kent State’s records the last two-plus seasons…

2013:  4 – 8
2014:  2 – 9
2015:  1 – 2

…and that is either a trend that Paul Haynes will reverse and quick in 2015 or Kent State will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now at 1 – 2 on the season after a nice game but yet another loss against Minnesota with the lone win coming over Delaware State…CUPCAKE….this season Kent State has left to play in 2015….

Marshall
At Miami, Ohio
At Toledo
At UMass
Bowling Green
Buffalo
At Ohio
Central Michigan
At Akron

…and we would recommend the Golden Flashes find 5 more wins out their last 9 games for their head football coach….just a friendly recommendation from the folks at Coaches Hot Seat!

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27.  Bob Davie, New Mexico – When Bob Davie was working as an analyst for ESPN he always said that he would run the type of offense he is now running at New Mexico which to us is a slight variation of the run option offense that both Davie and Lou Holtz ran at Notre Dame which to us is ugly as Hell but then we tend to favor the West Coast offense as created by the Late Great Bill Walsh which had a huge running component but hands down was and is the most beautiful football offense in the world when called, run and executed correctly.

Whatever type of offense Bob Davie is running at New Mexico the FACTS are Davie’s records in four seasons at the school now stand at…

Overall:  12 – 28

MWC:  4 – 20

….which is not the kind of win/loss record that the folks in Albuquerque were expecting when they hired former Notre Dame head coach Bob Davie and we know that is how a couple of big New Mexico athletics boosters feel because we played golf with them earlier this year near Santa Fe and they told us that…

“Either Bob Davie takes New Mexico to a bowl game this season or it’s over for Bob.”

LasCampans

That was pretty matter of fact and with the Lobos now at 1 – 2 on the season and these games remaining to be played….

At Wyoming
New Mexico State
At Nevada
Hawaii
At San Jose State
Utah State
At Boise State
Colorado State
Air Force

…if Davie can squeeze out 5 wins out of New Mexico’s last 9 games and get his team to a bowl game for the first time in his four years at UNM then he should get a few more seasons to get things right with the Lobos BUT Bob…that Damn offense son…it just looks like Hell!

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28.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – The “What Ifs” on Bobby Petrino’s coaching career are a mile long BUT the one decision that stands out to us was Petrino’s decision to interview for the Auburn head coaching job after only being gone from Auburn for one season where he worked as the offensive coordinator for Tommy Tuberville the very coach that a few Auburn trustees and athletic director were working to run out of town only to be replaced by an assistant in Petrino that had just left the school. Since it was Tommy Tuberville that brought Bobby Petrino to Auburn from the NFL which was a move that in FACT led to Petrino getting the Louisville head coaching job if it had been any of us sitting in Petrino’s shoes and someone from Auburn called us about the Auburn head coaching job before Tommy Tuberville had even been fired the very first thing we would have done is call Tuberville….the man that helped Petrino out….and tell Tubbs that he was being undermined by a few Bastards at Auburn.

Instead Bobby Petrino took that call and met secretly with those Auburn Bastards which of course was leaked out to radio show host Paul Finebaum from the pilot or pilots of the plane that took those Auburn Bastards to Louisville for that secret meeting with Petrino and as they say the rest is history with that history being…

Tommy Tuberville keeping his job at Auburn

Bobby Petrino bolting for the Atlanta Falcons after telling everyone that would listen he would not be leaving Louisville

Bobby Petrino leaving the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas job before his first season was even completed

Bobby Petrino having his dalliance and motorcycle crash at Arkansas and then lying about it and getting his ass rightly fired in Fayetteville

Bobby Petrino getting the Western Kentucky job which he held for one season

Bobby Petrino getting re-hired at Louisville 8 years after he told anyone that would listen he would never be leaving Louisville

Hell, you truly could not make the above up but then the ONLY reason Bobby Petrino was re-hired at Louisville is because he wins football games…at least on the college level…but now the Cardinals are off to an 0 – 3 start after losses to Auburn, Houston and Clemson and they have these games still left to be played:

Samford
At NC State
At Florida State
Boston College
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Virginia
At Pitt
At Kentucky

Can Bobby Petrino and Louisville find at least 6 wins out of their remaining 9 games and avoid a losing season in 2015 which Petrino has only posted one time before on the college level?

That is a hard question to answer but we can easily recall how much Bobby Petrino loved rubbing it in the faces of Kentucky football fans how much better the Louisville football program was than Kentucky during Petrino’s first Louisville stint and here’s to hoping Louisville is 5 – 6 when they play Kentucky in Lexington on November 28 and the Kentucky Wildcats…

BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BOBBY PETRINO AND THE LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!

….and Petrino getting a taste of his own Bullshit not that Bobby Petrino would give two rips because something like this would happen —>

Petrino’s agent is on the phone and there is an AD somewhere in America willing to sell out his soul to win a few football games and he is interested in talking to Bobby Petrino!

Our guess….Bobby Petrino would sell-out Louisville again telling anyone that would listen he would never be leaving the school moments before he walked out the door!

No…we don’t HATE Bobby Petrino like we HATED or rather HATE Charlie Weis but for Damn sure Bobby Petrino has a lot of Bullshit to atone for and here’s to hoping that a Helluva lot of that atoning happens to Bobby Petrino in 2015 and if it does we will take Great Joy in lighting up Petrino’s Sorry Ass!

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29.  Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – Over the years a number of Coaches Hot Seat members have gotten to Boca Raton, Florida for business or vacation and we have met a number of the folks that support FAU athletics which in reality didn’t really exist when we first started going to Boca Raton years ago and it was the opinion of many here at Coaches Hot Seat which we expressed to our Boca Raton friends that Mike Leach who is now at Washington State but then was living Key West would have been an ideal head football coach at FAU. Mike Leach of course took the Washington State job which although a nice head coaching job doesn’t really fit “The Pirate” very well and our thinking was that Mike Leach would do well at FAU and then take one of the bigger jobs in the state of Florida like Miami, USF or UCF after few years at FAU but alas Leach went to the Northwest and FAU hired Charlie Partridge who although a nice guy and good football coach hasn’t done a Helluva lot in Boca Raton while posting records of…

Overall:  3 – 12

CUSA:  2 – 6

….in two years on the job at FAU.

Now with an 0 – 3 start to the 2015 season with losses to Tulsa, Miami and Buffalo (who has a first year head coach) FAU and Partridge face the daunting task of finding 6 wins in their last 9 games to get bowl eligible with this remaining schedule:

At Charlotte
Rice
Marshall
At UTEP
FIU
At Western Kentucky
Middle Tennessee
At Florida
At Old Dominion

Sorry…we just don’t see FAU winning 6 games in 2015 but then Charlie Partridge could prove us wrong now couldn’t he?

Coach ‘Em Up Charlie and if you don’t…..You Got It….Hot Seat!

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30.  Jeff Monken, Army – We don’t not like putting the head coaches of the US Military service academies on the Hot Seat but Jeff Monken in his second year at Army after a nice four-year run as the head coach at Georgia Southern has forced our hand by starting the 2015 season out at 0 – 3 in three closes losses to three pretty decent football teams but losses nonetheless.

Yes…playing winning football is not easy at a place like West Point but we are expecting a lot out of Jeff Monken at Army and now at 0 – 3 on the season with these games remaining to be played….

At Eastern Michigan
At Penn State
Duke
Bucknell
At Rice
At Air Force
Tulane
Rutgers
Navy

….it’s not going to be easy getting to 6 wins for Army this season but then it wasn’t easy on the US Army at the Battle of the Bulge either was it?

Go Army!

Win Some Damn Football Games!

But For Damn Sure Don’t Beat Navy!

Go Navy!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

There are just a few reasons why a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and by far the main reason a coach finds his ass on the Hot Seat is…

He did not win enough football games!

But…there are other reasons a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and two of those reasons that we have had to account for in recent years have been…

1.  A Head Coach like Charlie Weis who in our opinion did not give a Damn about coaching the Kansas football team in the proper way which also makes Charlie Weis a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being….with that being the opinion of EVERY American here at Coaches Hot Seat

AND

2.  Coaching like a Scared Coward which is how four SEC head coaches coached their teams on Saturday….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzhan, Auburn

….with three of the above COWARD COACHES now finding their precious and COWARDLY asses on the Hot Seat for their COWARDLY behavior because they lost their games and Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan now just one loss away from finding his ass on the Hot Seat with Auburn playing at LSU this coming Saturday! Besides coaching in a COWARDLY way which clearly in our opinion ALL FOUR of the above SEC head coaches did on Saturday what really pisses us off here at Coaches Hot Seat is when head coaches who have guaranteed contracts that will pay them Millions of Dollars whether they win or lose so they will never have to work a day the rest of their lives…

Still Coach like COWARDS!

It was just Shameful and a Disgrace to the American Republic forget about an embarrassment to the SEC that head coaches…

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzahn, Auburn

….were on Saturday…just so Damn SHAMEFUL!

We will get more into the COWARDLY behavior of head coaches….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina

…in the Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis BUT is it just us here at Coaches Hot Seat or is everyone else thinking the same thing?

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The Southeastern Conference reached its PEAK at the same time that Paul Finebaum was negotiating the contract for his book in New York City in the spring of 2013 for what eventually became this….

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….and after the past two college football seasons and especially this past weekend has become what historians will mark as the Beginning of the End of the SEC? Of course, anyone that knows Paul Finebaum knows that Paul has a stellar record of latching onto public figures just before they are sent off to prison so Finebaum signaling the end of the SEC with his Idiotic book would not only be the MOST right thing in the world it would make a Helluva lot of sense also!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Let’s bring out the Man in Black to…

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Cyclones head coach Paul Rhoads is on a pretty bad run of late and the loss to Iowa over the weekend on Iowa State’s home field by a score of…

31 – 17

….didn’t help matters and just by comparison over Paul Rhoads last 26 games coaching ISU he has posted a record of….

6 – 20

…and the previous head coach at Iowa State Dan McCarney posted a record over his last 26 games at ISU of…

12 – 14

….and also by comparison puts the winning percentages of Rhoads and McCarney at…

.231 for Paul Rhoads in last 26 games at ISU

.462 for Dan McCarney in last 26 games at ISU

Sorry, but Paul Rhoads can be the nicest and hardest working guy in the world and by all accounts we have heard he is both BUT we caught some of the Iowa – Iowa State game on Saturday and to put it bluntly…..

Iowa State DOES NOT look like a very well coached football team right now…PERIOD.

Oh….up next for Iowa State…

At Toledo which just beat Arkansas in Fayetteville!

Good Luck with that Paul and here’s a tip…don’t complain this week like some kind of LOSER about Ohio State’s schedule when you have a team to get ready to play Toledo!

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2.  Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team had Notre Dame right where they wanted the Irish on Saturday…

Up by a point with just a few minutes to play with the Irish starting QB out and a back-up QB in for Notre Dame that had hardly played at all in a meaningful live college football game

….and how exactly did Mike London’s Virginia team find a way to lose this time around?

By allowing that back-up QB that had next to no experience throw a ball to a receiver that was allowed to get behind a defensive back for some reason which ended up with a touchdown!

Geez…you really cannot make-up some of the stuff that has happened to Virginia football in recent years BUT this loss to Notre Dame takes the cake, the pie and every Damn dessert in the kitchen and with that loss London’s record at UVA dropped to…

Overall:  23 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…over the last six seasons which is bad from whatever direction one looks at those records.

Up next for Virginia…

William & Mary
Boise State
At Pitt

Our recommendation to Mike London = WIN all three of those games son!

3.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Oh, you thought it was a big deal that the Florida Gators beat New Mexico State 61 – 13 on Week 1?

Uhhhh….NOT….because Georgia State which had won ONE football game the last two seasons just beat New Mexico State on their home field!

This is Doug Martin’s third season as the head coach at New Mexico State and his record at NMSU now stands at:

Overall:  4 – 22

Enough said on the Hot Seat situation at NMSU!

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4.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and the Purdue Boilermakers got their first win of the 2015 season over Indiana State on Saturday which means about as much as a grizzly bear crapping in the woods of Yellowstone National Park meaning it means NOTHING AT ALL!

The 2015 college football season begins again for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers on Saturday with Virginia Tech coming to town and this is a game in our opinion that….

Purdue Should Win

….IF Purdue plays with the same intensity that they played with against Marshall in Week 1.

In the “Just By Comparison” department Darrell Hazell has now been the head coach at Purdue for 26 games and his win/loss record stands at…

5 – 21

….and the coach he replaced at Purdue who was fired and run out-of-town posted a record in his first 26 games at Purdue of….

10 – 16

….which should tell everyone that is paying attention why exactly Darrell Hazell is on the Hot Seat!

5.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt looked OK at times against Georgia on Saturday but in the end a loss to the Dawgs by a score of…

31 – 14

…..leaves Derek Mason’s win/loss record in his second season at Vandy now at….

3 – 11

…and let’s hope Mason’s record after this coming Saturday’s game against Austin Peay is…

4 – 11

….or Mason might not make it as head coach at Vandy to the Ole Miss game in Oxford on September 26!

Looking over the rest of Vanderbilt’s 2015 schedule…

Austin Peay
At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

….if Vandy improves just a little bit more as the season progresses MAYBE the Commodores can win…

4 Games in 2015

….which would be an improvement by ONE win over 2014 and would give Mason one more year in Nashville to get Vandy back to their “James Franklin-years” winning ways and with that Derek Mason now has his goal for 2015….

4 Wins!

Coach ‘Em Up Derek!

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6.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson and the Indiana Hoosiers beat Florida International on Saturday by the score of 36 – 22 and when one considers that FIU had won….

6 Games

…the last three seasons combined Indiana beating FIU meant about as much as a wild pig finding an acorn in Alabama which means that win over FIU means NOTHING AT ALL!

Up next for Kevin Wilson and Indiana….a very tough Western Kentucky team that is very simply a…

CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson and the Hoosiers but especially a CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson!

7.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – In Week 2 Paul Petrino’s Idaho team lost to USC in Los Angeles by a score of…

59 – 9

….and with that loss Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho now stands at….

2 – 23

…..which is a winning percentage of…

.080%

….and the last Idaho head coach Robb Akey got fired at Idaho after posting a winning percentage of…

.286%

…over 6 seasons and thus why Paul Petrino is clearly on the Hot Seat!

Up next for Idaho….

Wofford!

OK…this should be a WIN for sure for Paul Petrino and the Vandals!

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8.  Ron Turner, Florida International – After seeing in person an average Stanford team made of balsa wood whip UCF on Saturday night we now understand how FIU beat UCF in Week 1 and thus it was no surprise to us that an average Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday.

FIU has won…

6 Games

…in three seasons under Ron Turner and FIU should get its SEVENTH win under Ron Turner on Saturday when they play

NC Central

….not that anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue who in the Hell NC Central is!

We do know that Ron Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat whether Dave Wannstedt of Fox Sports thinks Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat or not!

Memo to Dave Wannstedt:  Ron Turner’s precious ass is on the Hot Seat and FIU beating UCF in Week 1 was No Damn Big Deal!

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9.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game saw the same thing that the other 100-plus Coaches Hot Seat members saw watching the Sooners – Vols game on TV and that was….

Tennessee head coach Butch Jones had the Sooners on the ropes for much of the game and if not for COACHING LIKE A COWARD and COACHING NOT TO LOSE the Vols could have delivered the knockout punch to Oklahoma many times in the game and when you COACH LIKE A COWARD your precious ass ends up on the Hot Seat and that is where Butch Jones finds his precious ass on this Monday morning!

Oh by the way….below are Butch Jones win/loss records at Tennessee which make a Helluva lot more sense now after seeing him COACH LIKE A COWARD in the Oklahoma game:

Overall:  13 – 14

SEC:  5 – 11

Sorry Butch Jones…we don’t give a Damn if you inherited a wreck of a football program from the combo of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley because IF you are going to the head coach at Tennessee and a head coach in the SEC you first and most importantly must…

NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD!

As Coaches Hot Seat members discussed the outcome of the Oklahoma – Tennessee game on Saturday night after watching a day of college football and that Badass Madison Bumgarner almost throw a perfect game against the San Diego Padres two things were mentioned the most about Butch Jones’ coaching performance against Oklahoma:

1.  Butch Jones COACHED LIKE A COWARD and in many ways COACHED SCARED against Oklahoma on Saturday

AND

2.  Butch Jones clearly DOES NOT trust his quarterback Joshua Dobbs because there were numerous instances in the first and second half of the game against the Sooners where Butch Jones and his new and OLD offensive coordinator could have unleashed Dobbs on OU and put the game out of reach of the Sooners BUT Butch Jones didn’t do that which brings to mind a quote from the Great Bill Walsh on quarterbacks that one of us heard Coach Walsh say a Helluva long time ago:

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Bill Walsh:  “If you don’t trust your quarterback to make plays and decisions on the field then you don’t have a quarterback and you don’t have a leader. A head coach must prepare his starting quarterback to the best of his ability and then trust his quarterback on gameday. To do anything but that would lead me to believe that a team either has the wrong head coach or wrong quarterback….or both. A head coach must trust his quarterback because that trust is fundamental to playing winning football.”

YES….we miss Coach Walsh and YES there are dozens of college football head coaches across America that DO NOT TRUST their quarterback and SHAME on them for that idiocy!

Sorry Butch Jones BUT it was YOU that cost the Tennessee Vols that game against Oklahoma because very simply Butch Jones you…

COACHED LIKE A COWARD….PERIOD.

Up next for Tennessee…

Western Carolina

…which is a SURE win and then COWARD Butch Jones and the Vols play…

At Florida

…and we would recommend that Butch Jones NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD against the Florida Gators because if the Vols lose to the Gators again….

Your ass Butch Jones and thus YOU will find yourself on the Face of the Sun!

SunEarthOh!

 

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10.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members had been watching a tape of the Toledo – Arkansas game on Sunday and after watching things for awhile someone said check the box score on the game for Arkansas and after doing that what about these numbers for the Hogs offense?

Arkansas ran the ball 31 times for 103 yards

Arkansas threw the ball 53 times completing 32 for 412 yards

What in the Freaking Hell Bret Bielema?

So the working theory in Fayetteville must be that Arkansas can run the ball against SEC West teams but not a team from the MAC Conference? Is that right Bret Bielema who seemed in the last week very Damn concerned about Ohio State’s schedule and not the Hogs opponent which just whipped your team’s ass in Little Rock Bret and landed your ass back on the Hot Seat in the process!

YES…like Butch Jones…Bret Bielema COACHED LIKE A COWARD on Saturday but it was a different kind of COWARDICE that Bielema brought out against the Toledo Rockets….it was COWARDICE plus STUPIDITY because if Arkansas had not panicked and had just ran the ball down Toledo’s throat instead of throwing the ball all over the lot they could have won by two touchdowns but instead like in Knoxville and in Columbia…

COWARDLY behavior by the head coach won the day

….and with that COWARDICE the SEC now has FIVE head coaches on the Hot Seat….

Derek Mason, Vanderbilt
Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Les Miles, LSU

….and if the COWARDLY coaching continues at least three of the above head coaches will NOT be coaching their teams in 2016!

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Memo to Bret Bielema:  This week Bret focus on getting your football team ready to play against Texas Tech because in case you didn’t know it your win/loss records at Arkansas of…

Overall:  11 – 16

SEC:  2 – 14

….are NOT the records that should lead to a head coach popping-off about ANYTHING relative to other football teams around the country especially the Defending National Champions in Ohio State which BEAT Alabama in the Semi-Final Playoff Game in case you forgot Bret!

Oh….lose to Texas Tech Bielema and your ass will be like the Persian Gulf region the last time a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members were in it during the spring and summer of 1991 for Desert Storm which was….

Hotter than Hell!

cc: Jeff Long, Arkansas Athletic Director

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2 – Steely Dan Singing Deacon Blues – Bob Stoops and the “Hungry Meter” for College Football Head Coaches

We are introducing a new feature at Coaches Hot Seat for the 2015 football season and beyond…the….

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week “X”

…..and to introduce this feature we will use a song from the 1970s Super Band Steely Dan…

Deacon Blues

“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”

Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan singing Deacon Blues!

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2

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1.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. FIU – After the close 1-point win over FCS team Southern Illinois in Week 1 there is just no way in Hell that Kevin Wilson’s Hoosiers can lose to FIU at home this week because a loss in this spot to a pitiful team from South Florida…

No…not the Miami Hurricanes

…would send Wilson’s ass into a part of the Universe that is Hotter than our Sun and last time we checked the Sun is pretty Damn HOT!

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2.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Iowa – In Paul Rhoads last 25 games at Iowa State his Cyclones have posted the downright startling and depressing win/loss record of…

5 – 20

….and rightly so Paul Rhoads’ ass is now hotter than that coffee that some Idiot spilled on himself and sued McDonald’s about years ago and won BIG which we seem to recall was Pretty, Pretty Hot Coffee which means a loss in this spot to the Iowa Hawkeyes and fellow Hot Seat coach Kirk Ferentz would be nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

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3.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Iowa State – Consider this in the Total Disaster that Iowa Football has become in recent years under the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz:

In Iowa’s last 40 games the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz has posted a win/loss record of…

20 – 20!

That’s right the University of Iowa….or rather the fans of Iowa Football and in many ways collectively college football fans across America that watch all of these college football games on TV have collectively paid Kirk Ferentz over the past four football seasons something on the order of….

$15 Million Dollars

….for 20 Stinking Wins which works out to the amazing number…

$750,000 Per Freaking Win!

Seriously…you CANNOT make this kind of stuff up and thus why Kirk Ferentz and his Iowa Hawkeyes CANNOT lose to Iowa State on Saturday because if they do the above number goes up to….

$800,000 Per Freaking Win!

Hell, if Kirk Ferentz keeps up this Mediocre Football at Iowa by the end of the 2015 college football season he could be getting paid something on the order of…

$1,000,000 Per Freaking Win!

…and that’s good money IF you can find people STUPID enough to pay that kind of money for MEDIOCRITY which Kirk Ferentz has found in the state of Iowa IN SPADES!

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4.  Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Rice – Anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog over the past EIGHT college football seasons knows that we have some good fishing and hunting buddies in the Austin, Texas area who are Texas grads and love showing us “City Boys” what life is like in the Republic of Texas while hunting and fishing and every so often we haul those “Texas Boys” up to Montana to show them what life is like when you really go into backcountry where the trout are large and the grizzly bears will eat your ass if you are not careful!

Getting back to the subject at hand which is….

The Rolling and Raging On Fire Wagon Train

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…that is now Texas football we asked our Austin fishing and hunting buddies what the temperature was down in Texas relative to Charlie Strong and Texas football and their replay was…

“Let’s just say that if Texas loses to Rice on Saturday night Charlie Strong’s house could be on the market and sold before the Horns play Cal the next Saturday!”

Uhhhhh….we would call that the temperature of some wings we used to eat at a chicken wing place in Jacksonville Beach, Florida when a few of us were serving in the US Navy that were the Hottest Damn Wings we have ever put in our mouths and the very simple one word name for those wings was:

“Chernobyl”

This is very simple….Charlie Strong and Texas CANNOT lose to Rice on Saturday night…PERIOD.

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5.  Al Golden, Miami vs. FAU – If there is ONE coach in college football that knows he MUST produce in 2015 meaning win a Helluva lot of football games it is Miami’s head coach Al Golden and in Week 2 Golden and his Hurricanes play Florida Atlantic on Friday night and a loss in this spot with these SIX games up next…

Nebraska
At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
At Clemson
At Duke

…would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and send Al Golden’s ass onto the face of an O Class Star which in case you didn’t know…

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Is One Helluva Hot Place for your ass to be sitting on!

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6.  Les Miles, LSU vs. Mississippi State – We don’t have any fishing and hunting buddies in the state of Louisiana but we have heard that if LSU loses to Mississippi State on Saturday night that Les Miles will not be traveling back to Baton Rouge with the LSU football team but will instead be taken immediately to Cape Kennedy in Florida where several influential LSU boosters have arranged to have Les Miles and his ass launched on a NASA rocket to…

Calvera the closest neutron star to Earth which is approximately 250 to 1000 light-years from Earth

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….which it will take The Mad Hatter several million years to reach and we have also heard that in order to really stick-it-to Les Miles during the entire trip to Calvera those LSU boosters have arranged it so Les Miles will be forced watch a continuous loop replay of the January 2011 BCS Title Game loss to Alabama which most agree was the…

Boringest College Football Game of All Time!

Memo to Les Miles:  Don’t Lose to Mississippi State!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

7.  David Shaw, Stanford vs. UCF – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were on a conference call this week with a “non-athletic related contact” of ours on the Stanford campus who keeps his ears to the ground for us on The Farm since we have to work for a living and cannot hang around the Stanford Athletic Complex and whip the football team into shape which this Stanford football team needs desperately and our “non-athletic related contact” at Stanford said something very Damn interesting on our weekly conference call:

“If Stanford loses to UCF on Saturday there is a very good chance that Stanford doesn’t win 6 games this season because of how fragile and weak this team is and how tough the remaining schedule is.”

Hmmmm….this Stanford football team is “fragile and weak?”

Yep…that was our opinion of the Stanford football team we saw in August on The Farm although our term of…

Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses

…for this the 2015 Stanford football team seems to be a little more on the nose to us!

Let’s look at Stanford’s remaining games in 2015

UCF
At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

Yep…if Stanford cannot beat UCF which just lost to FIU on their home field then…

There is NO WAY IN HELL that Stanford gets close to 6 wins this season which would further validate what we have seen happen in recent years that has turned the once Very Damn Tough Stanford Football Program into the…

Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses

…that will fold-up like a cheap tent bought from Wal-Mart if even the slightest gust of wind hits the campground on The Farm in this case!

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YES….UCF is a CANNOT lose game for Stanford head coach David Shaw but then when the cake has already been mixed and baked there isn’t a Helluva lot that one can do to that cake once it is sitting on the counter of the kitchen!

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8.  Mike Leach, Washington State vs. Rutgers – With Washington State about to look down the pipe of NINE Pac-12 Conference Games that will ALL be very difficult wins for the Cougars if there is a game that Mike Leach and his WSU football team needs to win it is this Saturday’s game against Rutgers because a loss in this spot to fall to 0 – 2 on the season and it will next to impossible for Washington State to get to 6 wins in 2015 and that would make…

Three Out of Four Losing Seasons for Mike Leach at Washington State

YES…beating Rutgers is CRITICAL for Mike Leach and the Cougs!

Bob Stoops

9.  Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. Tennessee – There is no doubt in our minds that Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops would like to get the Sooners back into the running for a National Championship before he is politely told that his services are no longer needed in Norman since being just a little better than average is eventually not going to cut it at OU even for Bob Stoops, BUT when you talk to people around Norman and we mean folks that have some insight….not total insight but some insight….into what is going on the feeling that used to pervade Oklahoma football under Stoops….

That Dammit We ARE Going To Win Big 12 Championships and National Titles or Die Trying

….just NO LONGER EXISTS in Norman and there in a nutshell is what is wrong with OU football.

We are always coming up with new ways to rank college football head coaches here at Coaches Hot Seat and one way we came up with this past Summer was the “Hungry Meter” meaning on a 1 to 10 scale how “Hungry” is EVERY college football head coach to win Games, Championships and National Titles either at his current school or a bigger school if a great job opportunity presented itself. We have been tossing around the idea of publishing our opinion on the “Hungry Level” for each college football head coach BUT it is such a subjective opinion based on admitted less-than-perfect information we have held it back….so far.…BUT we will tell you of what “Hungry Level” we have OU head coach Bob Stoops at on a 1 to 10 scale to win Games, Championships and a National Title with the Sooners which is of course just our opinion:

Bob Stoops was a “10” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2001 to 2008

Bob Stoops was a “9” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2009 to 2011

Bob Stoops was an “8” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2012 to 2014

Bob Stoops current rating on the “Hungry Meter” = 7.8

In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat ANY college football head coach who has a rating of less than “9.5” on the Coaches Hot Seat “Hungry Meter” in today’s incredibly Damn competitive college football landscape has NO DAMN CHANCE to win a Conference Championships and National Titles.

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Two Coaches Hot Seat members will be traveling up from Atlanta to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game and they will report back on what they see from Bob Stoops and the Sooners….and our guess is….OU loses to Tennessee and ends up with 7 or 8 wins on the season and Bob Stoops is DONE at Oklahoma come December either in reality meaning no longer the head coach at OU or just a coach going through the motions hauling down millions of dollars a year for “X” number of years into the future.

Just our opinion.

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10.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Virginia – Of course both Brian Kelly and Virginia head coach Mike London BADLY need a win in this spot BUT this is a game that Brian Kelly CANNOT lose after the Week 1 crushing of the Hapless Texas Longhorns that are still the Texas Longhorns even though they are now Hapless with a Capital “H” under Charlie Strong! With Georgia Tech coming to South Bend a week from Saturday a loss in this spot will not only dash the hopes of Irish faithful all over the country but would set-up the biggest game of Brian Kelly’s career at Notre Dame because a loss to Virginia followed by a loss to the Yellow Jackets at home would more than likely be a irreversible stake into Kelly’s future unless the Irish ran the table the rest of the way and there CANNOT be a Human Being alive on the Earth that believes the Irish could pull that off!

Our guess….Notre Dame whips Virginia just as UCLA did in Week 1….BUT if the Irish flop-around and lose this game to the Cavaliers Brian Kelly might as well travel on down to Cape Kennedy and get on that rocket with Les Miles that is headed to the closest neutron star because South Bend will be a terrible place to be next week even if Kelly will have to watch along with Miles a continuous loop of the 2011 BCS Title Game between LSU and Alabama which thankfully for ALL college football games was So Damn Boring it gave us the College Football Playoff!

Launch of Atlas V GPS IIF-4 from Cape Canaveral AFS

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

11.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – Now in his third season at Idaho head coach Paul Petrino has posted a record of…

2 – 22

…which includes an opening 2015 season loss to Ohio by a score of 45 – 28.

YES…2 – 22 will land your ass on the Hot Seat and that is exactly where Paul Petrino is at and has been for years now!

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12.  Ron Turner, Florida International – We are not quite sure how FIU beat UCF in Orlando on Thursday…more on George O’Leary who is now on the Hot Seat due to the loss to FIU in a bit…but a win is a win and a win over UCF moves Ron Turner down the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings BUT if Turner is going to get off the Hot Seat for good he will need more than 4 wins in 2015 and HELL if you can beat UCF in Orlando you can beat a pitiful Indiana team in Bloomington this coming Saturday….right?

RIGHT!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

13.  David Shaw, Stanford – Dozens of Coaches Hot Seat members were in the San Francisco Bay area and around Stanford University for work and various professional educational things in August so many of us were able to take-in and size-up the Stanford football August preseason camp and by the third week of August a consensus had been reached that we came very close to publishing in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog that we held back on because….WELL….maybe we were wrong and why send out alarms to Stanford’s first opponent Northwestern about potential problems with Stanford football so we kept our mouths shut.

After seeing in person and watching on TV the Stanford – Northwestern game this past Saturday we can now say….

WE WERE NOT WRONG!

….about the Complete Freaking Disaster that we were watching unfold in August on The Farm which has led to the…

Complete Freaking Disaster that is Stanford Football right now!

Let’s quickly summarize what several Coaches Hot Seat members saw in August with Stanford football by quoting a CHS Member on what he thought of the Cardinal’s August camp practices:

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“If you held all of Stanford’s August football practices in a balsa wood house not only would the balsa wood house still be standing there would not be one dent in any of the balsa wood!”

What the Hell does the above mean exactly?

Stanford Football NO LONGER PLAYS FOOTBALL under head coach David Shaw but rather Shaw just holds pillow fights among the players so the…

Candy Ass Coaches and Candy Ass Players can act like they are football players when in FACT

….any random sorority football team from any university in the country could whip the Hell out of the….

Candy Ass Coaches and Candy Ass Players that call themselves Stanford Football!

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On top of Stanford Football players being Candy Asses that are coached by Candy Asses did anyone else catch the Stanford offense against Northwestern?

Got there are Thousands of Pee Wee football teams across America that not only hit harder but are better coached and more sophisticated than the Stanford offense right now?

What a Complete Freaking Joke Stanford Football is right now and in our opinion the current state of Stanford Football goes straight to the head coach David Shaw who also in our opinion…

Wouldn’t know an honest day’s work if it hit him in the ass!

No David Shaw…sitting in your office listening to jazz music is NOT working IF you are the head coach of the Stanford football team which by the way you have turned into the…

Biggest Group of Candy Asses in the American Republic today!

Congratulations David Shaw you should be Mighty Damn Proud of Yourself because you are going to do the Next Too Damn Impossible….

Be handed a championship football program from Jim Harbaugh and less than three years later be now sitting on a record over your last 15 games of…

8 – 7

….and headed towards getting your precious jazz listening ass run right off The Farm!

Up next for the Candy Asses in Cardinal:

UCF this coming Saturday on The Farm which just lost to FIU at home!

Here’s a thought:

The Stanford football coaches and players should all get in their best Sunday dresses out and find some nice pillows from the nearby Macy’s at the Stanford Shopping Center for the UCF game and do what they best and love so very much in style…

Have a Pillow Fight!

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Fear the Tree? No…not any longer on The Farm!

Fear the Pillows being swung by the Candy Ass Coaches and Players on the Stanford NOT A Football Team anymore!

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14.  Les Miles, LSU – Let’s give the award…

Thank God Almighty that those Idiots weren’t around during World War II

…to the LSU athletic department that could not find a way to move a game one day forward to Sunday after the McNeese State – LSU game was cancelled on Saturday which lots of…

Flunky Paper Pushers in the LSU Athletic Department

….couldn’t somehow do who no doubt would be selling apples on the local street corner if they weren’t working in athletics where morons can hang around forever whether they are actually good at their jobs or not who and couldn’t just say this simple Damn thing:

“Sorry Folks….the McNeese State – LSU game is cancelled…see everyone back here at Tiger Stadium tomorrow for a 5PM for kick-off.”

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Would the above had meant that the McNeese State football team would have driven the 130 miles back to their campus in Lake Charles to spend the night and driven back to Baton Rouge on Sunday for the game?

YES….Big Freaking Deal!

Would the above have meant that LSU Athletics would have spent a few extra hundred thousand dollars in overtime for people working in and around Tiger Stadium?

YES…Big Freaking Deal!

Would the above have meant that LSU athletic administrators otherwise known as Precious Candy Ass Paper Pushers would have had to do some extra work over the weekend?

YES…Big Freaking Deal!

Bottom-Line: LSU Athletics is run by Complete Freaking Morons that cannot move a football game…..A Freaking Football Game…one day forward!

YES…it is true…there are Complete Freaking Morons in position of authority all over America right now and LSU Athletics is a prime example of that FACT!

Getting back to Les Miles the LSU Tigers now open the season at Mississippi State and if Les Miles’ football team loses that game…

Expect your ass to be the temperature in the Bayou on a HOT August Day Les Miles!

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15.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – PBK’s….Pretty Boy Kingsbury…football team at Texas Tech got a 59 – 45 win over FCS team Sam Houston in Week 1 which means about as much as a grain of sand being washed into the ocean and in Week 2 the Red Raiders play UTEP at home in a game that very simply…

PBK…Pretty Boy Kingsbury….CANNOT LOSE

….with Arkansas in Week 3.

Oh…Arkansas beat UTEP in Week 1 by the score of 48 – 13 so everyone here at Coaches Hot Seat will be watching this UTEP – Texas Tech game and score very closely!

Good Luck to you PBK!

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16.  Steve Sarkisian, USC – USC whipped an overmatched Arkansas State team in Week 1 and the Trojans play a very weak Idaho team in Week 2 and then USC gets…

The Balsa Wood Candy Ass Pillow Fight Boys of Stanford in Week 3

….so USC should EASILY be 3 – 0 when they head to play Arizona State in Tempe on September 26.

As for Steve Sarkisian and his recent “troubles” we can only say to Steve….

Focus on Family and Football Steve and keep the Focus there….PERIOD.

17.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – North Carolina looked better…especially the UNC defense under Gene Chizik…than the Tar Heels looked in 2014 BUT the OLD Ball Coach’s South Carolina team looked AVERAGE at best so was UNC’s performance against the Gamecocks something to be impressed with or just….whatever?

In our opinion….WHATEVER….because there are probably some high schools team in the South that could whip the South Carolina team that the OLD Ball Coach ran out onto the field in Charlotte!

Coming up for Larry Fedora and North Carolina:

NC A&T
Illinois
Delaware

Hell…North Carolina SHOULD be…

3 – 1

…when go to Atlanta to play Georgia Tech on October 3!

If not…Larry Fedora knows where he will be….no NOT on the beach with is shirt off wowing the ladies and looking for someone that will take a picture of him but rather….

On the FREAKING HOT SEAT!

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18.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – It’s not just the Iowa football team that is a Complete Freaking Disaster at the University of Iowa after reading about who Iowa just hired as the new president of the school….

The University of Iowa Campus looking west from Old Capitol and the Pentacrest.

Rocky Start for University of Iowa President, Rekha Basu, Des Moines Register

“Less than 2 percent of the faculty thinks J. Bruce Harreld is qualified to be the University of Iowa’s next president; among the college community at large, it’s 2.6 percent. By contrast, more than 90 percent of respondents to a campus survey gave high ratings to the other three finalists.

Nonetheless, Harreld was named UI’s 21st president Thursday in a unanimous vote from the Iowa Board of Regents. In so doing, they chose a former business executive with no experience in university administration, whose resume lists as his present employer a company he has since acknowledged no longer exists.

Harreld has also admitted he’ll have a steep learning curve for the job, and that his “unusual background” will mean he’ll need a lot of teaching, coaching and mentoring from those who criticized him. It’s good he acknowledged that, and gracious to extend the olive branch. But considering he’ll earn $590,000, plus $200,000 annually in deferred compensation, on-the-job training shouldn’t be necessary.”

What in the Freaking Hell?

Of course, the Iowa regents hiring this Buffoon as the new University of Iowa president makes the school paying football coach Kirk Ferentz $4 Million Dollars a year make sense….well…NOTHING can make paying Kirk Ferentz all that money for mediocrity make sense which brings us to the…

$4 Million Dollar Man Kirk Ferentz

…who over the last five seasons while earning around $20 Million Dollars has posted records of…

Overall:  34 – 30

Big Ten:  19 – 21

…which is a good gig if you can’t be the president of the University of Iowa who it seems is NOT qualified for the job while hauling down almost $800K a year!

Anyone else starting to notice a pattern here at the University of Iowa and if so what does that pattern mean?

We don’t know the exact answer to that question but there are plenty of people here at Coaches Hot Seat that are NOT qualified for lots of jobs at the University of Iowa that make six-figures a year and if we can just get to the right person in Iowa no doubt we will be hired in a Helluva hurry…and kept around whether we FAIL at our jobs or not!

Who is dumber….the folks at LSU that can’t move a football game one day forward or the folks at Iowa that pay a football coach millions of dollars for mediocrity and just hired a president that in our opinion that doesn’t know his ass from the side of a barn when it comes to run a major state university?

It’s Iowa by an eyelash!

The N-O Man: The University of Iowa’s new president has no experience, no ideas, and flubbed his own resume, Kembrew McLeod, Slate.com

Oh, these are just Complete Freaking Idiots at the University of Iowa!

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19.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – As we said last week in the Preseason Coaches Hot Seat Ranking Analysis we were hoping for a…

Herculean Effort

…by Mike MacIntyre and the Colorado Buffs in 2015 and what in the Hell did the CU Buffs do in the first game against Hawaii?

The CU Buffs looked like Complete Freaking Buffoons at the opening of the game against the Warriors and it really looked like the head coach and coaching staff showed up at the first game on the sideline without coaching during August camp at all!

Geez….Mike MacIntyre…what in the Hell is going on in Boulder son?

Our recommendation for Colorado head coach Mike MacIntyre: Get things fixed with your football team this week against UMass because if you lose that Week 3 game to Colorado State which has a first-year head coach in Mike Bobo the rest of the 2015 football season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster especially with the Oregon Ducks coming to town on October 3.

If Colorado somehow lost to UMass this Saturday in Boulder Mike MacIntyre and the entire CU coaching staff should be fired before they leave the field and a local high school staff should be hired to coach the rest of the season!

Memo to Mike MacIntyre:  Get Off Your Ass Son!

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20.  Mike Leach, Washington StateReally Mike Leach?

Lose to Portland State in the home opening game in Pullman?

Really Mike Leach?

Your Football Team looked like SHIT on Saturday Mike Leach and since we know you can coach we can only draw ONE conclusion after that pitiful loss to Portland State:

Mike Leach just no longer gives a SHIT because his Washington State football team now plays like SHIT!

In Mike Leach’s last 15 football games at Washington State the Cougars are…

3 – 12

…and those 3 wins last season were over….

Portland State
Utah
Oregon State

Oh…Portland State and Oregon State had losing records last year so in the last 15 games Mike Leach has beaten…

1 Team with a winning record

…and anyone that recalls the Washington State – Utah game from last season knows it took a miracle for the Cougars to win that game!

What is going on at Washington State exactly with Mike Leach?

Well…it’s just our opinion…but Mike Leach was always a terrible fit for Pullman, Washington because look at where Mike Leach was living when he could live anywhere he wanted to live…

Key West, Florida

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Still…Mike Leach won a lot of football games at Texas Tech in Lubbock, Texas which isn’t Key West, Florida either so there really is no excuse for Mike Leach to be losing to Portland State in the first game of this third season at Washington State so then just what in the Hell is going on in Pullman?

We think we know BUT we are going to hold our tongue and watch and see IF…

Mike Leach and Washington State just flat out QUIT in 2015 after the opening season loss OR if they come back strong this week in a very tough game at Rutgers.

Your choice Mike Leach and Washington State BUT if Mike Leach does fail at Washington State he will be remembered as…

The Football Coach that got run out of Lubbock

AND

The Football Coach that QUIT in Pullman

Great thing is Mike Leach will be able to determine how this story ends and if it ends badly whether we like Mike Leach or not if the current trend continues in Pullman we will light Mike Leach’s ass up!

Is everyone reading the Coaches Hot Seat Blog starting to understand that we are TOUGHEST on the people we expect the most from?

That’s way ALL alumni and fans should be….don’t accept anything less than…

EXCELLENCE

…and you have a Helluva lot better chance of actually getting…

EXCELLENCE!

21 – 30 Post Week Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!