Tag Archive: Nick Saban

Tua’s College Career Ending Injury at Alabama – Don’t Believe Someone Just Because They Are Wearing A White Coat! – 2019 Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Thank You Johnny Cash!

Tua’s College Career Ending Injury at Alabama – Don’t Believe Someone Just Because They Are Wearing A White Coat!

There’s a Helluva Lot we could write about Tua’s college career ending hip injury at Alabama, but it is the opinion of the Doctors who are members of Coaches Hot Seat that the surgery for a high ankle sprain that Tua had was Totally Damn Unnecessary and that Tua should have just rested his ankle for a couple of weeks and come back and played when healthy enough to play again!

We have visited the Great State of Alabama dozens of times in the 13 seasons that Coaches Hot Seat has existed and dozens of times before that going back to the early 1980s and there is a serious problem in Alabama that far Damn too many people will do something just because a Doctor tells them to do something. It is our opinion that there is Way Damn Too Much orthopedic surgery going on in the state of Alabama, across the Southern United States, and with University of Alabama athletes and it is far past time for Nick Saban, AD Greg Byrne, parents of Alabama athletes, and others around Alabama to quit always deferring to a surgeon just because he or she recommends surgery!

We have some news for you folks…

Surgeons Love To Do Surgery because…they make a Helluva Lot of $$$….doing Damn surgery!

We will go further than that…

Surgeons will often do Total Damn Horseshit Surgeries and it is our opinion that the high ankle sprain surgery that Tua got by the Doctors who work for the University of Alabama Football team was…

Total Damn Horseshit!

That’s our opinion as American Citizens and as former athletes because a high ankle sprain, which many of us had in high school and college, is something that needs to be rested for 2 to 3 weeks. YES…Tua would have been out for a couple of weeks resting that ankle but instead he had surgery done and then was rushed back for the LSU game…in our opinion…which was game he was obviously limping in even in the first half and which led to him being a lot less mobile quarterback…and wait for it…a lot less mobile quarterback will have a hard time getting away from defenders just like Tua wasn’t able to do against Mississippi State when he took the hit that ended his college career!

Damn Idiocy goes like this….

Total Horseshit High Ankle Sprain Surgery
Tua Is Not Totally Healthy For LSU Game and Plays Limping Throughout
Tua Is Not Totally Healthy for Mississippi State Game and Plays and Is Not That Mobile
Tua Gets College Career Ending Hit Because His Ass….Is Not As Mobile As He Should Be Because…Wait For It….His Ass Should Have NEVER Has the High Ankle Sprain Surgery!

Memo to Nick Saban: Just because a Doctor or Surgeon says that he or she should do “X” for an Alabama player does not mean you should accept that advice or that the player should take that advice, and it would be good policy for You and the Player + His Family to get 2 or even 3 other opinions on the issue and if you had done that with Tua on both his high ankle sprain surgeries there’s a very Damn good chance…

Neither Surgery Would Have Happened!

Here’s the problem with far too many people in Alabama and across America >

Just because someone in white coat who thinks his or her Precious Ass is God-All-Damn-Knowing Everything because they went to medical school doesn’t mean you do something just because they told you to do something and if Nick Saban had…

Worked One Damn Day in the Real World

…his ass would know this by now but since Nick Saban has…

Not Worked One Damn Day in the Real World In His Entire Damn Life

…he actually believes Damn Everything a doctor tell him!

Sorry Nick…Doctors and Surgeons are not only Incompetent at Times they only make $$$….doing Things like Surgeries…not just for athletes at Alabama but because they can tell other patients and the family of patients…

“We did the Tua surgery!”

Think Nick Saban….it’s time for you to THINK Son!

Surgeons make Millions of Dollars….wait for it….Doing Damn Surgery….and just because some Surgeon Hack has made Tens of Millions of Dollars doing surgery and has big houses in Birmingham and on the Gulf Coast does NOT mean that you have to believe his Worthless Hack Ass or the what his “mentees” believe should be done Saban and when your ass finally understands that you will for the first time in your life actually begin…

Looking out for your players instead of always taking the advice of people that make all that money doing things…such as unnecessary surgeries…that happens in our opinion…

Thousands of Times in the State of Alabama Every Damn Year!

Get A Damn Clue Nick Saban and next time you have player that is not 100% healthy….

Don’t Play His Ass in a game that you could have won playing Captain Kangaroo at Quarterback!

This is on YOU Nick Saban for blindly believed Hack Surgeons who make Millions of Dollars doing surgery and or playing Tua against Mississippi State when he should NOT have even been dressed for the game!

Needless to say ALL of the above are our opinions…they are educated opinions…but they are our opinions!

Let’s bring out the Late Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

2019 Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Mark Dantonio, Michigan State – One of the most important things for people running anything from a company to an athletic department are troubling trends and Mark Dantonio is on one Helluva troubling trend at Michigan State with a record in Big Ten Conference play the last four seasons of…

15 – 19

…and even worse…

6+ losses in 3 of the last 4 seasons!

6+ losses in 3 of the last 4 seasons is just flat-out Frightening to anyone that cares about Michigan State football and when one looks ahead to 2020 the Spartans have…

At BYU
Toledo
Miami

….in addition to 9 Big Ten Conference games and does anyone think 2020 is going to be better than 2019 when it seems Mark Dantonio is unable to make the necessary changes to keep up with modern game of football?

Not in our opinion and Michigan State now at 4 – 6 on the season have left to play…

At Rutgers
Maryland

…which are 2 of the worst 10 teams in FBS Football in 2019 and if Spartans lose either game one would have to think that Dantonio is done in East Lansing.

2.  Scott Frost, Nebraska – Scott Frost sitting on records in his second season at Nebraska of…

Overall:  8 – 14

Big Ten:  5 – 11

….and has been nothing short of a Total Disaster with no end in sight because the Huskers play is often unorganized, undisciplined…un-coached even at times…and now at 4 – 6 on the season Nebraska has left…

At Maryland
Iowa

This 2019 Maryland team is one of the worst Power 5 Conference School Teams we have seen play in recent memory and what if….YES…what if Nebraska went to College Park and….GASP….lost to Maryland?

If Nebraska loses to Maryland then Scott Frost may indeed be done because it would be a loss that Nebraska Football may never recover from under Frost or any other coach in the foreseeable future which is roughly 10 years in our mind so we would REALLY recommend Scott Frost not lose to this game to the Terps!

Oh….after 22 games as the Head Football Coach at Nebraska >

Scott Frost =  8 – 14

Mike Riley =  13 – 9

You think Scott Frost is in a Helluva Tough Spot with very few ways to get out of this corner?

You would be right!

Don’t lose to Maryland Scott!

3.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – The folks in Columbia, South Carolina can remain in all the Denial of Reality mode they want but there’s no getting around the FACT that Will Muschamp in his FOURTH season as the Head Football Coach at South Carolina is sitting on a record of 4 – 7 with only a game left against…

Clemson

…and without a Miracle From the Heavens that…

4 – 8

….record in Boom’s FOURTH season at South Carolina and if that’s acceptable to the folks in Columbia then More The Damn Power to Their Asses but please don’t tell us you were raised by Real Americans forget about Real Southerners who actually value Winning!

Oh…Will Muschamp’s records now in FOUR seasons at South Carolina >

Overall:  26 – 24

SEC:  15 – 17

Interesting are Will Muschamp’s records in FOUR seasons at Florida >

Overall: 28 – 21

SEC: 17 – 15

Hmmmm….anyone noticing a trend here?

Thought So!

4.  Joe Moorhead, Mississippi State – We are not quite sure what the folks at Mississippi State thought Joe Moorhead would do in Starkville record wise but we are guessing it’s not this with 2 games left in his 2nd season on the job >

Overall:  12 – 11

SEC:  6 – 9

The 4 – 6 Bulldogs are playing Uber-Cupcake Abilene Christian on November 23 and finish the season hosting Ole Miss in the Egg Bowl and will it take Moorhead beating Mississippi to hang onto his job?

Maybe so because imagine this scenario for a moment if Mississippi State did lose the Egg Bowl >

Moorhead would be sitting on a 5 – 7 record in his 2nd season right after a loss to Ole Miss which is sitting on record of….wait for it…4 – 7 right now!

There just ain’t no way to defend Joe Moorhead going 5 – 7 in his 2nd season on the job AND losing the Egg Bowl AND not going to a bowl game in this age of even the Damn Sorry and Average As Hell go to bowl games!

5.  Barry Odom, Missouri – Barry Odom is working on his 4th season as the Head Coach at Missouri and he is sitting on records of…

Overall:  24 – 24

SEC:  12 – 18

…which Ain’t That Good and with Mizzou now at 5 – 5 with games left against…

Tennessee
At Arkansas

….if Odom lost these last two games we have to think that would be the end of the Odom era at Missouri…..right?

Yep!

6.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Derek Mason is in his 6th season at Vanderbilt and has records on the board of…

Overall:  26 – 46

SEC:  10 – 37

…and that is 10 SEC Conference wins in 6 season….Not So Damn Good!

Even worse is Mason’s record of 2 – 8 in his 6th season with games still left against…

East Tennessee State
At Tennessee

…which looks like 3 – 9 to us which will be….

The same record Derek Mason posted in his first season at Vanderbilt in 2014!

4 – 8 to 4 – 8 = No Damn Improvement At All!

7.  Tom Herman, Texas – We had high expectations for Tom Herman at Texas but heading towards the end of Year 3 Herman is sitting on records of…

Overall:  23 – 14

Big 12:  16 – 9

…..and we just didn’t see Herman with 4 losses on the board this season and thought at most the Longhorns have 2 losses heading into the last 2 games of the season…

At Baylor
Texas Tech

Baylor is going to be really motivated to win this game against Texas and Texas Tech has been in almost every game they have played this season so there’s a chance that a Terribly Disappointing season could turn into a Total Disaster of a Season for Tom Herman and already our 2 Texas-alum buddies who live in the Austin area are telling us…

“Herman is treading in some very dangerous waters.”

We recommend you find a way to beat Baylor and Texas Tech Tom or your will be coaching for your job and head coaching career in 2020 at Texas!

8.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – After Kevin Sumlin got fired at Texas A&M putting up Pretty Average Numbers in College Station with a boatload of money given to him on the way out the door there’s just no way we would have hired him at a place like Arizona where you need Head Coach that is…

Fired-Up and Will Fight Your Ass In Every Damn Game

….because with all that money will Sumlin be…

Fired-Up and Will Fight Your Ass In Every Damn Game?

Not in our opinion and thus in Sumlin’s 2nd year at Arizona he is now sitting on records of…

Overall:  9 – 13

Pac-12:  6 – 10

….with the 4 – 6 Wildcats still having games to play against…

Utah
At Arizona State

That looks like a 4 – 8 record to us and looking to 2020 is there anyone in Tucson that thinks that next season will be any better under Kevin Sumlin?

The 2020 Arizona Football schedule….

Hawaii
Portland State
At Texas Tech
Colorado
Oregon
Stanford
USC
At Oregon State
At UCLA
At Utah
At Washington
At Arizona State

We would be STUNNED if Arizona won even 6 games in 2020…in our humble opinion!

9.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – When one considers that Dana Holgorsen is sitting on a record of…

3 – 7

….in his first year at Houston let’s consider for a moment that the Powers That Be at the University of Houston including Tilman Fertitta who has his hands in everything when it comes to Houston Football and Basketball let’s look at the records of the last Houston Head Football Coach Major Applewhite who got his ass run out of Houston by those Powers That Be >

2017:  7 – 5
2018:  8 – 5

Overall:  15 – 11

AAC:  10 – 6

Now if the above records were not good enough to keep your rear-end employed at Houston then what exactly is…

3 – 7

…doing for your ass?

Anyone know where Tilman Fertitta is at and what he thinks about Holgo sitting on a record of 3 – 7 with still games to played against…

At Tulsa
Navy?

Oh…no one has seen Get Us Some More Rolls Boy?

Didn’t think so but then when things going good Get Us Some Rolls Boy ass is plastered Anywhere and Everywhere in the media and beyond but his ass is nowhere to be seen now which is…

No Damn Surprise to anyone with 2+ IQ!

10.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – The word on the street on The Plains before the 2019 season started was that if Gus Malzahn lost the 4 games to…

LSU
Florida
Georgia
Alabama

…he would be done at Auburn and with losses to those first three teams on the board it really is now only a win over Alabama that can stop from the Gus Malzahn era from being brought to an end so with games left against..

Samford
Alabama

…both at Jordan-Hare Stadium what is the appropriate Game Theory approach for Gus Malzahn as he head towards the critical game against Bama?

If we were Gus Malzahn we probably would not take the Arkansas job even if offered but rather just let Auburn fire him and then see what other jobs might be open between now and the end of the year and if one of those jobs looked like a place you can win at….then maybe take it….but if not we would probably just take the $25 or so million that Auburn owes us and go relax and do some traveling the world for a year and then come back to coaching at the end of 2020 Relaxed, Refreshed, and Ready To Go!

2019 Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 13th Season of Coaches Hot Seat – Even Saban Was On The Hot Seat!

Amazing at it sounds to write it this is the 13th football season for Coaches Hot Seat which was cranked-up in January 2007 only a week or so after Nick Saban was hired to coach the Alabama Crimson Tide and believe it or not we had Saban on the Hot Seat going into the 2008 season after he only posted a 7-6 record in his first season in Tuscaloosa! Saban only won 5 of the next 10 National Titles at Alabama, but for a brief time, Nick’s ass was on the Hot Seat and that should be a lesson to all coaches and everyone out there >

Just because your ass is on the Hot Seat today doesn’t mean it will be there tomorrow….and vice-versa of course!

Well let’s get to it since we now have Week 1 of the 2019 College Football Season in the books and of course we must ask that the Late Great Johnny Cash come out and show these coaches just where in Hell they stand right now!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

2019 Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – Jeremy Pruitt was hired by Tennessee AD Phillip Fulmer to be the head coach of the Tennessee Vols football team on December 7, 2017 which means that Jeremy Pruitt has been the Head Football Coach at Tennessee for….wait for it….

634 Days!

Please…can anyone tell us just what in the Hell that Jeremy Pruitt has been doing over those 634 days because watching the Vols get physically whipped by Georgia State on Saturday it was self-evident that…

Jeremy Pruitt hasn’t been doing a Damn Thing!

Oh…little doubt that Pruitt has logged lots of hours in the coaches offices and practices fields in Knoxville but was there any real work being done over those 634 days to build….forget about a championship football team…but just a team that will show up and play football with 50%+ effort which the Tennessee players did not do on Saturday?

Evidently Not!

A recruiting expert buddy of ours tells us that Georgia State does not even have 10% of the talent on the Tennessee roster and yet…

Tennessee Got Its Ass Physically Whipped By Georgia State on Saturday and for that Jeremy Pruitt and the man that hired him Phillip Fulmer should be ashamed…deeply ashamed…that they have taken one Dime of compensation over the last 634 days because neither man has earned one Damn Dime of that money….and that is also self-evident to anyone with 2+ IQ!

This Is Very Damn Simple: Former Tennessee AD John Currie before he was couped out of his job by a group of Damn Morons in Knoxville, Tennessee had offered the Vols head coaching job to Mike Leach and Leach has accepted that job in our opinion and with Currie out of the way it was left to new AD Phil Fulmer to hire the next head coach and who did Fulmer hire?

Jeremy Pruitt

And what is Jeremy Pruitt’s record now with 634 days on the job at Tennessee?

5 – 8

Oh…Pruitt has been paid over those 634 days almost…wait for it….

$7 Million-Plus Dollars!

For what exactly because in our opinion Jeremy Pruitt has been sitting around on his ass not doing a Damn thing because if Pruitt had earned one Damn Dime of that money his Tennessee football team would have showed up in his 13th game at the school in Neyland Stadium and whipped Georgia State…but in fact it was…

Georgia State that whipped the Vols asses or as Pat Dye once said…

“Took them out behind the barn and took away their manhood!”

Jeremy Pruitt is a Damn Joke and was given Massive Amounts of talent to work with at Hoover High School, Alabama, Florida State, Georgia, and back at Alabama where Any Damn Stumblebum could field solid defensive teams if they just showed up for work and did their Damn jobs but for $7M+ Dollars Jeremy Pruitt has not done One Damn Thing in 634 days and by all rights Pruitt and Fulmer should have already been fired after the disgraceful performance on Saturday in Knoxville!

For way Damn too long now Worthless Trust Fund Boys who would be lucky to be shoveling shit in South Georgia have had control of the Tennessee football program and what have those Worthless Trust Fund Boys who would be NOTHING today if their Daddy hadn’t given their asses everything they own in this world done to Tennessee football in the last decade-plus?

They have Freaking Destroyed it and every day that Phil Fulmer and Jeremy Pruitt sit in the athletic offices at the University of Tennessee the longer the problems will continue…but come now….if Pruitt fails totally and even if he and Fulmer get their asses run off Rocky Top the Worthless As Hell Trust Fund Boys will still be there telling people what to do and unless the fans of Tennessee football kick their Worthless As Hell Asses to the curb…

Nothing Will Change and Tennessee Football will continue to be the Total Damn Joke of College Football!

634 days making $7M+ Dollars and Jeremy Pruitt hasn’t done One Damn Thing and in FACT the Tennessee Football program is worse off today than it every was in the last days of Fulmer, and under Kiffin, Dooley, and Jones so be proud Tennessee fans of what you saw on Saturday because there is more coming….a Helluva Lot More because the people driving this Vols Disaster Train are still there…and they will Totally Gut the entire Damn thing until you are looking up at Vandy….Oh…you already are looking up at Vandy!

If Tennessee loses to BYU on Saturday then Tennessee fans should not leave Neyland Stadium but demand that Jeremy Pruitt and Phil Fulmer be fired right after the game and if the Vols do start 0 – 2 in 2019 then both should resign but do you think Pruitt or Fulmer would ever admit they been wrong about anything on this Earth?

NEVER!

Now let’s see what the Candy Ass Less Than 50% Effort Vols can do against a Below Average to Damn Pitiful and also Barely Coached BYU team on Saturday in a matchup of the #1 and #4 Hot Seat Coaches in College Football!

Oh…Tennessee is only 3-point favorite at Neyland Stadium over BYU and the Cougars record the last 3 years now stands at…wait for it…

11 – 16!

2.  Chip Kelly, UCLA – Like Jeremy Pruitt we are not quite sure what Chip Kelly has been doing at UCLA the last two seasons to earn the $7M+ Dollars he has made on the job in Westwood because the Bruins team that showed-up against Cincinnati last Thursday night looked…

Totally Damn Un-Coached….just like Tennessee did on Saturday!

We got to see a lot of Chip Kelly’s Oregon teams in Pac-12 Country both at Stanford and in Eugene and it’s almost like there is an imposter coaching the UCLA Bruins because this is not the Kelly that coached the Oregon Ducks and either Kelly will figure this thing out soon…meaning in 2019…or we have been told there will be not Year 3 to right a ship that cannot be righted with what Kelly is now doing!

With the loss to Cincinnati Chip Kelly is now 3 – 10 at UCLA and the Bruins have left to play in 2019 >

San Diego State
Oklahoma
At Washington State
At Arizona
Oregon State
At Stanford
Arizona State
Colorado
At Utah
At USC
California

We don’t see UCLA winning more than 4 games in 2019…does anyone with 2+ IQ based upon what the Bruins looked like against Cincinnati?

NO!

We are not quite sure what is going on in Westwood with Chip Kelly and the UCLA Football team but we are sure that the Bruins win 4 games or less in 2019 there will be a push to fire UCLA AD Dan Guerrero and Chip Kelly and this time go out and hire a coach that can actually field a team that looks like they have been coached-up the game of football!

That’s not too much to ask when your ass is making $4M a year!

3.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – The FSU team that played Boise State on Saturday looked better than the FSU teams looked in most games in 2018, but how in the Hell is Boise State able to travel all the way across America and change the stadium venue and play in weather they have no ability to practice in and beat FSU on its homefield?

No idea how that can happen because we are talking about Florida State here where there is 4 to 5 times the talent that Boise State had on its roster on Saturday and yet…

Boise State looked like a well-coached football team

AND

Florida State looked almost un-coached especially on the defensive side of the ball

Willie Taggart is lucky that he is coaching FSU in the ACC Conference where there is a chance to play a Helluva Lot of Mediocre football teams between now and December but when you look at what FSU has left how many games can they win in 2019?

La. Monroe
At Virginia
Louisville
NC State
At Clemson
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Miami
At Boston College
Alabama State
At Florida

With one loss already on the board and two cupcakes left that is 3 wins…but how many more will FSU get?

If they can’t get at least 4 more win to finish at 7 – 5 then Willie Taggart will be fired shortly after the Florida game on November 30.

4.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – Kalani Sitake is a nice guy….we mean a really nice guy…but the BYU team that lost to a very good Utah team to open the season looked a Helluva Lot like his BYU teams of the last three seasons which often played undisciplined, made lots of mistakes, committed penalties, turned the ball over, and did everything else that bad football teams do and why in the Hell exactly is that still happening in Sitake’s 4th year on the job in Provo?

No clue to the answer to that question but BYU has a great chance to bounceback in Week 2 against a Tennessee Football team that is now Totally Un-Coached and gives sub-50% effort on their home field so maybe just maybe Sitake can get things rolling in Knoxville…but if he can’t and somehow doesn’t get to at least 6 wins in 2019….my how the standards have fallen at BYU….then Sitake is only coaching the Cougars December.

5.  Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – We seem to have a recurring theme to kick-off the 2019 college football season with the coaches at Tennessee, UCLA, BYU, and now Arizona with Kevin Sumlin not having their teams ready to play in the first game with the Wildcats losing to a Hawaii team that Arizona should not be losing to in the second year of a coach in Tucson!

Like Jeremy Pruitt Ole Kevin Sumlin is 5 – 8 in two seasons at Arizona and things don’t get any easier with a pretty good FCS team in Northern Arizona coming to Tucson on Saturday and a loss in this spot…

You can kiss Kevin Sumlin’s ass goodbye by Christmas because no way he can recover from losing to Northern Arizona at home in his 14th game at Arizona!

After Northern Arizona the Wildcats have left…

Texas Tech
UCLA
At Colorado
Washington
At USC
At Stanford
Oregon State
At Oregon
Utah
At Arizona State

Please…anyone out there can tell us how Arizona gets to 6 wins in 2019?

idn’t think so!

6.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – Worse than Jeremy Pruitt, Chip Kelly, Willie Taggart, Kalani Sitake, and Kevin Sumlin is Will Muschamp who in his FOURTH season at South Carolina just got beat by a team in North Carolina that the Gamecocks should have dominated…and yet somehow they lost to!

With the loss to UNC Will Muschamp’s records at South Carolina now stand at…

Overall:  22 – 18

SEC:  12 – 12

…and here’s the real problem…what the Gamecocks have left on their schedule!

Charleston Southern
Alabama
At Mizzou
Kentucky
At Georgia
Florida
At Tennessee
Vanderbilt
Appalachian State
At Texas A&M
Clemson

If South Carolina cannot beat North Carolina there’s not a chance in Hell it wins more than 5 games in 2019 and even if Muschamp’s buyout after the season is $18.6M….and absurd contract given to Will by Damn Morons at South Carolina that haven’t worked a day in their lives in the Real World and wouldn’t last 5 second if their asses had to work off of a college campus…it will have to be bought out because if you post a record of…

5 – 7

…in your 4th year on the job then please…what in the Hell are you going to do in the 5th?

Get off your Damn Ass Will…that game against North Carolina was a Damn Disgrace Son!

7.  Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – We have been saying for a couple of years now that the culture at Virginia Tech has become a Total Shit Show under Justin Fuente which in our opinion has happened because Fuente has abdicated his responsibilities to be a Leader of Young Men and a Football Coach for some reason(s) and now with the loss to Boston College on Saturday the Hokies are now…

6 – 8

…under Fuente the last two years with these games still left to be played in 2019 >

Old Dominion
Furman
Duke
At Miami
Rhode Island
North Carolina
At Notre Dame
Wake Forest
At Georgia Tech
Pitt
At Virginia

We see that someone at Virginia Tech recognized the Hokies need all the Damn help they can get to 6 wins and loaded the schedule up with so many Cupcakes that Any Random Stumblebum could coach Va. Tech to 7 wins in 2019 so how many wins will Fuente get?

Our guess 5

What exactly has happened to Justin Fuente is an unknown to us here at Coaches Hot Seat but we have a guess or two and we may just reveal those guesses if the 2019 season implodes like the 2018 season did, and it will be based upon what friends of ours who live in the Blacksburg area have told us about what they think is going with the Va. Tech Football program which we would characterize right now as Troubling….Damn Troubling….in our humble opinion!

8.  Clay Helton, USC – USC got a good win over a very good Fresno State team on Saturday night at the LA Coliseum and a Fresno team that might not lose another game in 2019, but there are 7 or 8 teams left on the Trojans schedule better than Fresno so this is really just getting started now…isn’t it?

Up next for USC is Stanford coming to Los Angeles this coming Saturday night for an ESPN telecast and over a dozen Coaches Hot Seat members will be at this game to see USC up-close and personal and to poke around best we can a couple of days before and we should have a strong opinion on the Trojans a week from today.

After Stanford the Trojans have left…

At BYU
Utah
At Washington
At Notre Dame
Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
At Arizona State
At California
UCLA

Our USC alum friends tell us that Helton needs 8 wins to keep his job and return to coach USC in 2020. Can USC win 7 of their remaining 11 games?

That looks like a heavy lift to us but if the Trojans lose to Stanford….No Damn Chance At All!

9.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – With the Rutgers wins over UMass on Saturday head coach Chris Ash’s records now stand at…

Overall: 8 – 29

Big Ten: 3 – 24

….and surely Ash cannot post a sub-500 record in his 4th season and keep his job…right?

Well..this is Rutgers we are talking about here and with these games left to play…

At Iowa
Boston College
At Michigan
Maryland
At Indiana
Minnesota
Liberty
At Illinois
Ohio State
Michigan State
At Penn State

…we be STUNNED if Rutgers got 4 wins in 2019!

10.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – With Illinois the win over Akron on Saturday head coach Lovie Smith’s records now stand at…

Overall:  10 – 27

Big Ten:  4 – 23

…and we haven’t a Damn clue what the folks at Illinois were thinking in extending Lovie’s contract in the offseason but Stupid Is What Stupid Does and looking at what Illinois has left in 2019….

At UConn
Eastern Michigan
Nebraska
At Minnesota
Michigan
Wisconsin
At Purdue
Rutgers
At Michigan State
At Iowa
Northwestern

…this is going to get Really Stupid and we will be SHOCKED if the Illini win 5 games in 2019!

Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

 

Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Thanks Mr. Cash!

1.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The overall record for Butch Jones at Tennessee is bad enough…

33 – 25

….in his FIFTH year on the job but it’s Jones record in SEC Conference play that is the reason he’s headed for the chopping block…

14 – 22

…with these games still left to be played in 2017:

At Kentucky
Southern Miss
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt

Yep…even if Butch Jones and his Vols won their last 4 SEC Conference games his record in SEC play would still just be…

18 – 22

….and there’s No Chance In Hell that fans of Tennessee Football should tolerate Butch Jones’ SEC record and thus that’s why the Vols will have a new head football coach come 2018!

Our guess…Tennessee finishes with a 4 – 8 record in 2017 and a Total Damn Mess on its hands as the folks in Knoxville try to figure out where to go next….here’s a tip for Tennessee AD John Currie when considering who to hire as the next head football coach at Tennessee:

Imagine in your mind’s eye Nick Saban’s reaction to hearing the name of the person who Tennessee hired to be its next head football coach. Is Nick smiling, does he have no reaction, does he grunt and think that maybe the Vols will be a tough win now. Don’t hire the coach that makes Nick Saban smile Currie!

2.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – With the loss to Auburn on Saturday Bret Bielema’s record in SEC play in his FIFTH year on the job is now at…

10 – 26

….which is a winning percentage of…

.278

…and the previous two head coaches at Arkansas Houston Nutt and Bobby Petrino posted a combined winning percentage in SEC Conference play of…

.527

Considering the above there is a very good argument that could be made that Bret Bielema is the…

WORST HIRE

…in the SEC Conference since the end of World War II which would mean Arkansas AD Jeff Long has hired as the head coach of the Razorbacks:

Bobby Petrino – Wouldn’t hire to wash our cars!
John L. Smith – Only an insane person would hire John L. Smith!
Bret Bielema – The WORST hire in SEC since end of World War II!

Now at 2 – 5 on the season Arkansas still has to play this season games against…

At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

…and there is a very real chance that the Hogs finish with just THREE wins in Bret Bielema’s FIFTH year on the job in Fayetteville!

Got fire the whole Damn Arkansas athletic department?

You do if you don’t want Arkansas Football Totally Destroyed!

3.  David Beaty, Kansas – It was just Stupid at Kansas but after the Jayhawks 43 – 0 loss to TCU the week after losing to Iowa State 45 – 0 it’s just…

Who gives a Damn about Kansas Football?

…and the answer to that question would be…NO ONE AT ALL!

David Beaty is in his THIRD season at Kansas and his records are…

Overall:  3 – 28

Big 12:  1 – 21

…and if Beaty isn’t fired before December 1 then why in the Hell is Kansas even bothering to play football?

Same goes for Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger who hired Charlie Weis and David Beaty and if Zenger worked in the Real World and not on a college campus his ass would have been…

Fired Long Ago!

4.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Mike Riley had a good week in the bye week because the Huskers didn’t get their ass whipped and now the 3 – 4 Huskers travel to play a decent Purdue team that somehow just lost to Rutgers and if Nebraska loses this game it will be because the Husker players have…

Flat-Out Quit

….but there are many here at Coaches Hot Seat that believe a lot of Husker football players Flat-Out Quit against Ohio State!

3 – 4 Nebraska has left in 2017….

At Purdue
Northwestern
At Minnesota
At Penn State
Iowa

….which looks to us like a losing season for the Huskers but Mike Riley had 5 losing seasons in 14 seasons coaching at Oregon State…including the season before he was hired at Nebraska…which makes one wonder…

Why in the Hell was Mike Riley hired at Nebraska?

Because former Nebraska Athletic Director Shawn Eichorst doesn’t know his ass from the side of a barn…that’s why!

5.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – With the Illini’s loss to Minnesota on Saturday Lovie Smith’s records at Illinois now stand at…

Overall:  5 – 14

Big Ten:  2 – 11

…and those 5 wins were over:

Murray State
Rutgers
Michigan State
Ball State
Western Kentucky

Please….can someone….anyone…tell us why Lovie Smith is the head football coach at Illinois?

Didn’t think so!

6.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were there on the day that Jim Harbaugh was introduced as the new head football coach at Stanford in December 2006 and we were there when Stanford beat USC in Jimmy’s first season in early October 2006 at the LA Coliseum and we were there for ALL of Jimmy’s FOUR seasons on The Farm and thus we believe we know Jimmy Harbaugh very well!

With the above in mind it’s obvious to us that something is…

Terribly Wrong at Michigan

….and it goes beyond Jimmy’s record in his last 11 games which is by the way…

6 – 5

…and we are not going to pretend we know what is going but there’s something….

Terribly Wrong at Michigan

…in our humble opinion of course!

Most surprising of all to us here at Coaches Hot Seat who watched Jim Harbaugh recruit Andrew Luck and several other solid quarterbacks to Stanford when the 2017 season kicked-off Michigan didn’t have a FBS-level QB on its roster which begs the question?

What the Hell is going on Jimmy?

Well let’s see here….watching replays of Michigan’s games against Michigan State and Penn State we have come to the following conclusions about the Wolverines offense = Jim Harbaugh’s offense:

1.  Michigan doesn’t have a FBS-level QB on its roster. Hell, Michigan doesn’t have a college-level QB on its roster. Hell, Michigan doesn’t have a high school level QB on its roster! Yes…that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

2.  The Michigan Offensive line could be easily whipped in a fist fight by 3…maybe even 2…members of Coaches Hot Seat and as a group there is not a bigger group of Candy Asses in America…save the Candy Ass Tech Boys in Silicon Valley…than the Michigan Offensive Line. Yes…that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

3.  The Michigan Running Backs and Wide Receivers are hardly coached at all and if they are coached the coaches that are coaching them should be fired…like this afternoon! SOFT and LAZY are the words that come to mind when we think of the Michigan Running Backs and Wide Receivers and…Yes, that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

4.  The Michigan offensive play-calling in one word is…SHIT! Make that TOTAL SHIT..and Yes, that’s a Helluva problem Jimmy!

Besides all of the above you have a pretty decent offense at Michigan this season Jimmy!

Michigan is now 5 – 2 in 2017 and still has the below games left on their schedule:

Rutgers
Minnesota
At Maryland
At Wisconsin
Ohio State

Hell….Michigan might only win 2…maybe 3…more games in 2017 which is Jim Harbaugh’s THIRD year on the job and we only have the following to say to Jimmy Harbaugh:

Get your Damn ass together Son or your head coaching career is going to be over in a flash!

7.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – The calls from our Mormon friends in Utah started about four weeks ago after Utah State beat BYU by the score of…

40 – 24

…and if you have Mormon friends then you know….

These folks don’t complain about ANYTHING

…and yet their calls keep coming and they are saying things like….

“You just cannot believe what is going on behind the scenes of BYU football.”

“BYU football is just the biggest mess you can possible imagine.”

“I am shocked about what I am being told is going on in Provo.”

At first we didn’t know what to think but after BYU lost to East Carolina..one of the worst teams in FBS football…on Saturday by the score of…

33 – 17

…we are now convinced after doing some checking of our own that BYU Football is in a Meltdown for the Ages in the history of college football in America and that the Cougars might not win another game this season even with some very weak teams left on their schedule:

San Jose State
At Fresno State
At UNLV
UMass
At Hawaii

Because the information we have gathered is second-hand we are not going to write our opinion on what is going on with BYU Football but we will say this…if the current trend continues….BYU may very well have a new head football coach come December and the Kalani Sitake era at BYU will be over before it really even got started.

8.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If there was one thing that Kliff Kingsbury could not have let happened in Year FIVE as the head coach at Texas Tech was let Iowa State come into Lubbock and whip his Red Raiders on Homecoming weekend which leaves Kingsbury’s records now at…

Overall:  28 – 29

Big 12:  14 – 26

…and Texas Tech now at 4 – 3 on the season still having to play these teams:

At Oklahoma
Kansas State
Baylor
TCU
At Texas

Damn….it’s going to be mighty hard for Texas Tech to get to 6 wins on the season and less than 6 wins in 2017 and Kingsbury will have posted…

3 Losing Seasons in 5 Years on the Job

….which even at Texas Tech will get your ass fired…right?

Right!

Since it seems obvious that now member of TCU coaching staff Sonny Dykes would be a natural fit as the head coach at Texas Tech we would recommend that Kingsbury find a way to get to at least SEVEN wins in 2017 or more than likely the folks in Lubbock will be hiring them a new head football coach December.

9.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – After North Carolina’s 59 – 7 loss to Virginia Tech on Saturday one has to wonder if the Tar Heels have totally quit on head coach Larry Fedora or maybe this is just God’s way of getting justice against the North Carolina Athletic Department which somehow was able to get away with…

Totally Not Monitoring the Academic Activities of its Athletes

…for decades but whatever the reason for the current slide of UNC Football there is one thing we know for sure….

North Carolina is getting its ass-whipped on a regular basis in 2017 and either Larry Fedora will fix this mess in Chapel Hill or his ass should and will get run right out of town!

North Carolina is now 1 – 7 on the season and has left to play…

Miami
At Pitt
Western Carolina
At NC State

Got 2 – 10 Larry?

You are about to have it Son!

10.  Jim McElwain, Florida – It seems that Jim McElwain’s luck is finally running out which began long before he got the head coaching job at Florida and actually began when Nick Saban plucked Jimmy from Fresno State to be the offensive coordinator at Alabama where…

Any Damn Moron can get the Alabama offense to score 30+ points a game

…which then led to Jimmy getting the Colorado State job where he did some decent work and then the Florida job where Jimmy was fortunate enough to arrive in Gainesville when the SEC East was the weakest it has been since the SEC went to two divisions BUT Oh those days are over and on Saturday the 3 – 3 Gators get to play a Georgia Football team that is actually a…

Georgia Football Team

…and by late Saturday night the Gators will no doubt be 3 – 4 with these games still left on the schedule:

At Missouri
At South Carolina
UBA
Florida State

Hell…Florida will be lucky to win 6 games in 2017 and thus it looks like Jim McElwain will be on the Hot Seat for the foreseeable future.

Oh and here’s something else Jimmy..not only could Any Damn Moron get the Alabama offense to score 30+ points a game…

Any Damn Moron can win 8 games a year at Florida!

Personally we like Jim McElwain and ran into him a couple of times when he was with the Oakland Raiders in 2006 and in the Flathead Valley of Montana where we are almost every Summer for a fishing trip BUT Jimmy if you are presented with a good head coaching job offer at another Power 5 school in the coming weeks…you might want to consider it Jimmy because things are about to get really HOT in Gainesville not withstanding whatever Yahoos have been sending you and your players death threats which should be turned over to the police immediately!

Coach ‘Em Up Jimmy!

#15 Hot Seat Head Coach – Rich Rodriguez, Arizona – The Man Who Could Have Stopped Nick Saban From Taking The Alabama Job

 

#15 Hot Seat Head Coach – Rich Rodriguez, Arizona

For college football fans interested in very important trivia Rich Rodriguez will go down in college football history as the man that…

Could have stopped Nick Saban from taking the Alabama job

….IF Rodriguez had accepted the offer that was tendered to him by then Alabama AD Mal Moore on December 7, 2006 when Nick Saban was still the head coach of the Miami Dolphins.

How different would college football be today if Rich Rodriguez had taken the Alabama job and Nick Saban had decided to stick-it-out in the NFL without a really good college job opening besides Alabama after the 2006 season?

Massively Different is the answer to that question and although we don’t doubt that Rich Rodriguez could have won a lot of games at Alabama, there’s not a chance in Hell he would have matched Saban’s accomplishments of…

4 National Championships
5 National Championship Game Appearances
3 College Football Playoff Appearances
6 SEC Conference Championships

….in 10 seasons at Alabama. It’s just a guess, but our guess is if Rodriguez had been the head football coach at Alabama the last 10 seasons would have posted something like…

1 National Championship
3 SEC Conference Championships

…which is very good but it’s not even close to what Nick Saban has accomplished at Alabama which brings us to the interesting question of why didn’t Rodriguez accept the Alabama job in 2006 but did accept the Michigan job after the 2007 season?

There is NO logical answer to that question which brings us to another question:

Just what in the Hell is going on at Arizona the last two seasons under Rich Rodriguez after the Wildcats won the Pac-12 South Division in 2014, but in the last two years have posted records of…

2015:  7 – 6
2016:  3 – 9

Overall:  10 – 15

Pac-12:  4 – 14

Oh…and counting from that 2014 appearance in the Pac-12 Championship Game against Oregon Rich Rodriguez’s Arizona teams have posted a combined record of…

10 – 17

A few here at Coaches Hot Seat got to see Arizona close-up in person in 2016 at the Stanford – Arizona game in Tucson and taking an extended look at the Arizona sideline, the team before, during and after the game, and generally getting a broad range of opinions of what was wrong with the Arizona football program after a 34 – 10 whipping the Cardinal put on the Wildcats we came away from Tucson with the opinion…and it is only our opinion:

After Arizona’s 2014 appearance in the Pac-12 Championship Game Rich Rodriguez let things slide…he let-up on the accelerator…he let small things go unattended…he let recruiting slip…and finally team discipline slid some…which led to the 7 – 6 record in 2015 and what looked to us to be nothing short of a…

Total Disaster of a College Football Team

…late in the 2016 season in the Arizona Wildcats.

Watching Rich Rodriguez on the sideline coach against Stanford was nothing short of bizarre with Rodriguez going through every possible tormented emotion that a man could possibly go through in a few hours while always being a nanosecond away from and actually exploding on coaches, players and anyone else within earshot of Rodriguez on HIS team’s sideline!

What caused all of the above you ask…again it’s our opinion mind you:

Well…if one looks at Arizona’s 2016 schedule one sees…

A 2 point loss to BYU to open the season

An overtime loss to Pac-12 Champion Washington in Week 4

A Total Collapse of Arizona Football after the overtime loss to Washington in Week 4 losing the next 8 Pac-12 Conference Games by an average score of….

25.5 points

…before beating a Totally Hapless and even MORE Total Disaster of a Football Team in Arizona State to end the season.

Our recommendation to Rich Rodriguez:  Go back to having fun coaching college football again Son because what you have been doing in the last year or so is not only hurting the Arizona football team it is making your life miserable as well. If someone is going to pay you millions of dollars a year to coach a football team and will pay you millions of dollars if they fire your ass you have No Damn Reason to be acting like a Damn Fool and thus why not again focus on the Fun and of course in Football…

The Fun Is In the Winning!

Let’s look at Arizona’s 2017 schedule:

Northern Arizona
Houston
At UTEP
Utah
At Colorado
UCLA
At Cal
Washington State
At USC
Oregon State
At Oregon
At Arizona State

It’s not an easy thing to play 9 Pac-12 Conference Games in today’s Pac-12, but we see no reason at all why Arizona is NOT…

3 – 0

…when they play Utah at home on Friday, September 22 which is also a very winnable game and with a win there the Wildcats could…probably should….be 4 – 0 when the head to play Colorado in Boulder on October 7 after bye week.

As for the rest of Arizona’s schedule, it’s just a guess but we think Arizona will finish with records of…

Overall:  7 – 5 or 8 – 4

Pac-12:  5 – 4 or 6 – 3

YES…we see a bounce-back year for Rich Rodriguez and Arizona in 2017 IF the Wildcats can get off to a 3 – 0 or 4 – 0 start out of the gate which means Rich Rodriguez better Damn have his team ready to play football when September dawns in about 120 days, and if Rich Rodriguez doesn’t have his team ready to play in his SIXTH year on the job in Tucson then…

His Ass Should Be Run Out of Town

….and with that in mind…

Put A Damn Smile On Your Face Rodriguez and Have Some Fun Coaching Football Again Son!

The Importance of Attention To Detail and The Little Things To Coaches Winning Football Games – #4 Hot Seat Head Coach, Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M

 

Before we get to the #4 Coach on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings heading into the 2017 college football season…

Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M

…we first must relate the findings of some research we have been doing into great coaches in all sports which has produced a data point on something we have thought to be true for years, but was confirmed with hard data in the last month or so.

Coaches Hot Seat is now heading towards its 11 th year of covering the Great Game of College Football, and during the last ten seasons and for years beforehand a few of us at CHS have been collecting quotes, antidotes, stories and other information about great coaches in sport over the past 100 years plus in America. We have all of this data within Microsoft Word in 1,000-plus files and last December we started going through all that data and organizing it so we could begin to run keyword searches to see if we could pull-out commonalities among great coaches in the past and present.

Well, we have our first fascinating data point to pass along about what makes great coaches so GREAT and this particular thing is something we have seen over and over again and for some of us, we know of it totally, since it was drilled into our heads from our very first day in the US Navy 25+ years ago.

The first fascinating data point that is common across all GREAT coaches in sport both past and present is:

Attention To Detail!

Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant term for Attention To Detail was attention to “the Little Things” and is summed-up in the below great quote and video from the Bear:

“If you want to coach you have three rules to follow to win. One, surround yourself with people who can’t live without football. I’ve had a lot of them. Two, be able to recognize winners. They come in all forms. And, three, have a plan for everything. A plan for practice, a plan for the game. A plan for being ahead, and a plan for being behind 20-0 at half, with your quarterback hurt and the phones dead, with it raining cats and dogs and no rain gear because the equipment man left it at home.”

John Wooden, who in our minds is with Paul Bryant one of the five greatest coaches in American collegiate sports history had this quote about “Attention to Detail!”

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”

In the advertising world that several of the founders of Coaches Hot Seat now working the original Mad Man advertising icon David Ogilvy had the below quote about “Attention To Detail!”:

“Leaders grasp nettles.”

What does “nettles” mean exactly from the British born David Ogilvy?

“Leaders grasp DETAILS!”

We could go on for quite awhile passing along quotes about the importance of “Attention To Detail” or as Paul Bryant said, “Talking to you about Little Things as long as you are here,” but the important point is that it’s VITAL for head coaches to focus like a laser beam on all the details that surround the coach in their job if they hope to be a consistent Winner and Great Coach….PERIOD!

The obvious question when understanding the importance of “Attention To Detail” and “the Little Things” is why do coaches who are sometimes paid a Helluva lot of money to create winning teams not putting enough emphasis on organizing as much of the details as possible within their team and the obvious answer to that question is:

They Are Lazy As Hell!

It takes HARD WORK to put a broad focus across a sports team or organization on the thousands of small things that once organized and managed on an ongoing basis create the foundation for building a winning team and the honest and pitiful TRUTH is that many coaches just flat-out…

Do Not Want To Do the Hard Work!

Those coaches would rather be fishing, or playing golf, or watching TV or all-manner of other things with the sometimes enormous amounts of money they are paid instead of doing the HARD WORK that flows from making sure every issue, person and possible eventuality is accounted for within your organization which is best exemplified by the Late Great Bill Walsh:

“For me the starting point for everything – before strategy, tactics, theories, managing, organizing, philosophy, methodology, talent, or experience – is work ethic. Without one of significant magnitude you’re dead in the water, finished. I knew the example I set as head coach would be what others in the organization would recognize as the standard they needed to match (at least, most of them would recognize it). If there is such a thing as a trickle-down effect, that’s it. Your staff sees your devotion to work, their people see them, and on through the organization.”

Why are most of the Top 30 coaches on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings on the Hot Seat today?

In our opinion because they have not been willing to put in the HARD WORK that is necessary to build a winning football program which does not equal the amount of time you spend in the office, but rather means the amount of time a head coach focuses on…

Attention To Detail

…and focusing on…

The Little Things!

The most ironic thing is after a lifetime of attending college football games going back to the mid-1970s, playing college football, and being around many of the top college football programs of today over the past decade-plus we can tell within just a few minutes of stepping inside a college athletic complex and watching a team practice if a Head Coach is spending enough time on organizing and managing “the Little Things” because it’s quickly obvious whether some things are being missed or if EVERYTHING is being accounted for from the largest to the smallest issue.

In 2008 a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa, Alabama for about a week on business and to see Alabama practice in the run-up to Bama’s second Spring Game under Nick Saban. We were with a good friend of ours that played for Paul Bryant in the 1970s, and thus we had as much run of the Alabama athletic complex as anyone could get under what is the Uber-organized Nick Saban and what we saw in those few days was fascinating in that EVERYTHING was accounted for within Saban’s program at Alabama which was best summed up by our friend that played for the Bear:

“Saban may be more organized than Coach Bryant and Coach Bryant was the most organized man I have ever known.”

Attention To Detail and a focus on The Little Things…do that and you as a coach and team will WIN…if you know how to coach the X’s and O’s of the game of football mind you!

Now with the above in mind which was written on this day for a very specific reason Aggie fans let’s move to…

#4 Hot Seat Head Coach, Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M

Kevin Sumlin has a decent overall record at Texas A&M posting in FIVE seasons on the job in College Station a record of…

44 – 21

….but the REAL problem for Sumlin is his record in SEC Conference play….

21 – 19

….and even more startling at a place like Texas A&M which has EVERYTHING a coach needs to win a Helluva lot of football games is Sumlin’s record against Power Five Conference Schools the last FIVE seasons is…

26 – 21

Oh here’s another important data point in today’s world since teams like Texas A&M have so many cupcakes on their schedule each year….Kevin Sumlin has lost…

21 games

…in FIVE seasons at A&M which works out to an average of…

4.2 losses per season

….but over the past FOUR seasons the Aggies have averaged losing…

4.75 losses per season!

Can you really almost lose 5 games per season and keep your job at Texas A&M?

It seems so and thus why when we think of Texas A&M Athletics the first word that comes to mind is…

AVERAGE!

Oh here’s something else…Texas A&M hasn’t finished the season ranked in the Top 20 the last THREE seasons which leads us to perhaps the most important point of all considering the Aggies went 1 – 4 against the last 5 legitimate football teams it played to end the 2016 season….

Texas A&M Football under Kevin Sumlin has collapsed down the stretch of in each of the past FOUR seasons going….

2013:  3 – 3
2014:  2 – 4
2015:  2 – 4
2016:  1 – 4

Total:  8 – 15

….against the legitimate football in the second-half of the last FOUR years.

What causes the above exactly Aggie Football fans should be asking themselves?

See the introduction to this blog post for an explanation…in our humble opinion!

OK…let’s go to Texas A&M’s 2017 Football Schedule to see if Kevin Sumlin can turn things around in College Station in his SIXTH year on the job which one would think is important since Sumlin is making more than $5 Million Dollars to produce a winning football program and team…

At UCLA
Nicholls
La. Lafayette
Arkansas
South Carolina
Alabama
At Florida
Mississippi State
Auburn
New Mexico
At Ole Miss
At LSU

Our guess is that Texas A&M will finish with a overall record of…

7 – 5

…and a record in SEC play of…

4 – 4

…which if it happened would leave Kevin Sumlin’s record in SEC Conference play after SIX seasons on the job at…

25 – 23

…and if that is acceptable to fans of Aggie Football then as they say in the South…

“God Bless Their Hearts!”

We will leave you with the following….personally we like Kevin Sumlin having talked to the guy a few times over the years and from that it’s our opinion Sumlin is a good guy who works hard at his job, but if we had to put a number on what the level of organization and how close that Sumlin and his coaches pay “Attention To Detail” within the Aggies Football program using the benchmark of Nick Saban and Alabama which is…

100% organized

….we would put Sumlin’s organization of Texas A&M Football at around….

70% organized

….and last time we checked at Texas A&M a grade of 70 in the classroom in College Station is barely passing and frankly that’s not acceptable to us…but it might just be acceptable to…

Aggie Football Fans

“God Bless Their Hearts!”

The Les Miles and Ron Turner Firings on Sunday – Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – These Hot Seat Coaches Need to Understand Mr. Cash That When You Make Millions of Dollars A Year…Your Ass Will Either Perform Or End Up On The Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

 

The Les Miles and Ron Turner Firings on Sunday

LesMiles811818

Many of us here at Coaches Hot Seat were flying back to San Francisco from Los Angeles on Sunday after seeing Stanford come back and beat UCLA on Saturday night at the Rose Bowl and as we tweeted out on Sunday…

We were surprised but not shocked that LSU fired Les Miles

…because we believe Totally in the saying that now former Florida AD Jeremy Foley has said many times during his great career as AD in Gainesville…

“What will have to be done eventually should be done immediately.”

…and No Damn Doubt in our minds Les Miles should have been fired at the end of the 2016 season because in our opinion…

Les Miles is Incredibly Stubborn and would rather LSU Football lose football games than Miles EVER having to admit that he was wrong about ANYTHING

…and anyone with a working brain knows that Les Miles’ brand of football should be tossed on the scrapheap of college football history and anyone that is considering hiring Les Miles in the future should understand that reality Very Damn Clearly!

The Win/Loss Numbers for Les Miles over the past THREE seasons…2014 – 2016…are Very Damn Ugly Indeed when one considers that during the past THREE seasons Miles has had Top 5 talent in college football and those Win/Loss numbers are…

Overall:  19 – 10

SEC:  10 – 8

Power 5 Schools:  12 – 10

…which is nothing short of a Total and Complete Disaster when you have…

TOP FIVE TALENT in College Football at LSU

…which makes it in our opinion that LSU was 10 Months Late in firing Les Miles and in the end if might cost LSU….

Tom Herman to Texas or USC!

coacho3818181

Let’s leave the who will be the next head coach at LSU speculation for another day and give a Hearty Congratulations for Coach Ed Orgeron who is now the…

Head Football Coach at LSU

LSUTigerStadium

…and who we hope can win many of the remaining games the Tigers have against…

Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

…especially since LSU has MORE talent on its roster than every team left on its schedule except for Alabama.

One thing that Coach O said that caught our attention in his press conference on Monday was that LSU was going to…

“Spend less time on the practice field and more time in the meeting rooms.”

….which is what Pete Carroll did at USC and which as former football players here at Coaches Hot Seat is something we have believed in for 30+ years now going back to the Bill Walsh days at Stanford the first-time around.

As the great Alabama head coach Frank Thomas, who played for Knute Rockne at Notre Dame and coached Paul “Bear” Bryant at Alabama, once said:

“Keep the players high. Make practice a pleasure, not a lark. Be a disciplinarian, but not a slave driver. It’s better to have a short, full practice than a long lazy one.”

Amen to that Coach Thomas….and Coach O as well!

Give ‘Em Hell Coach O…and just like at USC…we will be pulling for you Coach!

RonTurner281818

On the Ron Turner firing at FIU it was no surprise to anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat that Ron Turner was fired in his FOURTH season at FIU where he put up records of…

Overall:  10 – 30

CUSA:  7 – 17

….because as we said when Ron Turner was hired…

FIU had no Damn Business hiring Ron Turner because if you are going to fire Mario Cristobal then you better Damn hire someone better than Cristobal and Ron Turner is not in the same world as Cristobal in coaching college football in the early part of the 21 st century…..PERIOD!

FIU should hire a young, fiery, smart, tenacious, hard-charging, fighting like Hell coach and just realize if the coach does a good job at FIU he will probably be off to a bigger job and then FIU should go out and hire another….

Young, fiery, smart, tenacious, hard-charging, fighting like Hell coach!

Do that FIU….just do that!

 

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These Hot Seat Coaches Need to Understand Mr. Cash That When You Make Millions of Dollars A Year…Your Ass Will Either Perform Or End Up On The Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

ClayHelton27171771

1.  Clay Helton, USC – We spent several hours with an USC-alum friend of ours on this past Saturday night in Santa Monica after we watched Stanford come back and beat UCLA at the Rose Bowl and to say that our friend and many of his fellow USC-alum friends are PISSED-OFF about the current state of USC football would be a massive understatement!

Consider these numbers for a moment…since 2009 USC’s combined Pac-12 Conference record over the past 8 seasons now stands at…

40 – 25

…which includes USC head coaches Pete Carroll’s last year, Lane Kiffin, Ed Orgeron, Steve Sarkisian, and Clay Helton. Then consider the below numbers which is Alabama and Nick Saban’s record in SEC Conference play over the past 8 seasons…

48 – 8

NickSaban818181

Why do we mention Nick Saban and Alabama’s record in SEC Conference play over the past 8 seasons you ask?

Because an USC-alum that could buy and sell most of the Westside of Los Angeles on any given afternoon has it written on a dry erase board in his home office and those two numbers….USC and Alabama’s conference records since 2009….was written on that dry erase board by someone who is fed-up with what is going on with USC football, and who is now going around Los Angeles briefing other USC alums about just what in the Hell is going to happen at USC if Clay Helton doesn’t get things turned around with the Trojans…and in a Helluva hurry!

Here are the important win/loss records at USC for Clay Helton as this moment:

Overall:  7 – 7

Pac-12:  5 – 3

The word we got from our USC-alum friend on Saturday night….

Clay Helton either wins 7 games in 2016…meaning USC will need to win 6 of its last 8 games this season…or the Clay Helton era at USC will be over shortly after the Notre Dame game on November 26.

Oh..Clay Helton better Damn beat UCLA and Notre Dame in getting those 7 wins!

Our opinion after talking to our USC-alum friend on Saturday night for a few hours:

Clay Helton better win 7-plus games or there is going to be a MEGA OFFER by USC to hire Tom Herman in 6 or so weeks that will make Herman the highest-paid coach in college football and with that in mind we would recommend that Helton’s Trojans beat Arizona State on Saturday night at the LA Coliseum!

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2.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Steve Addazio’s Boston College team beat Total Damn Cupcake Wagner on Saturday which raised the Eagles overall record in 2016 to…

2 – 2

….which leaves Addazio’s win/loss records in four seasons at…

Overall:  19 – 23

ACC:  8 – 18

…and on Saturday BC plays host to Buffalo in a game that we would recommend Steve Addazio NOT lose because if the Eagles did lose to a Buffalo team at home then Addazio might not be the BC coach by Noon on Sunday!

It’s all very simple for Steve Addazio in 2016 IF Boston College can beat Buffalo on Saturday:

Win at least 6 games and Addazio will get another season at BC.

Don’t win at least 6 games and the Boston College job will open up in late November…if not sooner!

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3.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Our Texas-alum friends are NOT Stupid and after Texas got beat by what many of us think is just an average California team coupled with Notre Dame’s defense being more porous than a 3-year old sponge Charlie Strong is now in a very dangerous spot where Charlie will either win several critical games coming up or he might be out of a job before the 2016 season is half over.

The numbers or Charlie Strong at Texas are very mediocre…

Overall:  13 – 15

Big 12:  9 – 9

…and even though we think the world of Charlie and are hoping he can turn Texas back into a college football power the TRUTH is that Notre Dame’s Total Damn Collapse has turned up the heat on Strong who is facing TWO CRITICAL games in the next TWO weeks…

At Oklahoma State
Oklahoma

….that with TWO losses could very well lead to Charlie Strong being shown the door before the Longhorns play Iowa State on October 15.

Oh Yes…Charlie Strong is in a very precarious situation and from what we have been told…

“Anything less than 8 wins in 2016 and Charlie is done….PERIOD!”

….because the Texas boys with very deep pockets are not going to be left on the outside looking in on the Tom Herman sweepstakes and if a change in the head coaching job at Texas has to be made and USC is offering Tom Herman…

$8 Million A Year

…the Texas Boys will go with…

$9 Million A Year!

Our recommendation to Charlie Strong:

Beat Oklahoma State on Saturday Charlie and for God’s Sake…start playing some Damn Defense!

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4.  Tim DeRuyter, Fresno State – The numbers since Fresno State won the Mountain West Conference title for the second straight time in 2013 are very ugly indeed for Tim DeRuyter and his Bulldogs….since 2013 Fresno State’s records at…

Overall:  10 – 18

MWC:  7 – 13

…and a home loss to Tulsa in two overtimes on Saturday just made things that much worse and now it’s either…

Start Winning Some Football Games

…for Tim DeRuyter or there will be a new head football coach for Fresno State come sometime in December.

How many games does Tim DeRuyter need to win in 2016 to keep his job?

At least 6 games total Tim…at least 6 games.

Now at 1 – 3 on the season and these games still left to be played…

At UNLV
At Nevada
San Diego State
At Utah State
Air Force
At Colorado State
Hawaii
San Jose State

….can the Bulldogs win 5 of their last 8 games?

If they can’t then Tim DeRuyter NEEDS to be fired!

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5.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – With the Alabama whipping of Kent State on Saturday Paul Haynes record coaching the Golden Flashes over the last FOUR seasons now stands at…

Overall:  10 – 29

MAC:  6 – 17

…and with KSU now at 1 – 3 on the 2016 season either Haynes will get his team to 6 wins in 2016 or Kent State will be looking for a new head coach come December.

Next up for Paul Haynes and Kent State…

Akron and head coach Terry Bowden at home on Saturday!

Good Luck with that Paul!

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6.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – We especially wanted to talk to some our Auburn friends after the Tigers close win over LSU on Saturday to get their opinions on the future of Gus Malzahn and it took until Tuesday afternoon to reach all of them and the general consensus among the Auburn alums we talked to is this…

Gus Malzahn will more than likely be back to coach at Auburn in 2017 IF the Tigers at least SEVEN games in 2016 and with that in mind and Auburn now sitting on a 2 – 2 record this season here is what AU have left to play:

La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

So Gus Malzahn has to win FIVE of his last EIGHT games to return as the Auburn coach in 2017 and he has…

TWO Total Damn Cupcakes in La. Monroe and Alabama A&M

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….so Malzahn has to win THREE of SIX games against…

At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
At Alabama

Our opinion…if Gus Malzahn can’t win THREE of the above SIX games then he should be fired shortly after the Alabama game on November 26 because EVEN IF Malzahn finished at…

7 – 5

…in 2016 his win/loss records over the last THREE seasons…2014 – 2016….would stand at:

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….and a coach at Auburn cannot possibly survive posting a record in SEC Conference play over three years of…

10 – 14

….right?

Hell…maybe the folks around and support Auburn Football are now willing to accept…

Average As Hell

….but then at Auburn a 10 – 14 SEC Conference record over three years isn’t even…

Average As Hell

….it’s MUCH WORSE!

Oh…if La. Monroe happened to beat Auburn on Saturday which is coached by Matt Viator who is a pretty Damn good football coach then we recommend the Alabama media pay close attention because we rather doubt that Gus Malzahn will be the head coach at Auburn by Noon on Sunday!

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7.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – Some…make that Many…will say that it’s crazy to have Will Muschamp on the Hot Seat in his first year at South Carolina BUT we have a couple of close friends that are South Carolina alumni who have plenty of friends who were…

None Too Happy About Will Muschamp’s Hiring at USC

…and who are more than willing to throw their weight around if the 2016 season should turn into a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Muschamp at USC

….and if you can’t beat Kentucky….the 2016 season has the potential to turn into a…

Total and Complete Disaster for Muschamp at USC!

Now at 2 – 2 on the season Will Muschamp and South Carolina still have 8 games left against…

Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

…and we would recommend…and we are pulling for Will Muschamp….to win at least…

THREE of the last EIGHT games

…because if for some reason South Carolina finishes the 2016 season with wins only over…

Vanderbilt
East Carolina
UMass
Western Carolina

….we could recommend folks keep their eyes on Columbia come late November…just saying!

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8.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – One thing we tell our young employees is…

When you get into a position of power don’t be an Arrogant Ass

….because when you fail…and EVERYONE will fail at some time in their life….the people that sign your paychecks….

The Alumni, Boosters, and Fans of Notre Dame Football for Brian Kelly

….will be more likely to…

Kick Your Arrogant Ass to the Curb

…and that is what Brian Kelly is now facing if the 2016 season should turn into a Total and Complete Disaster after losses to Texas, Michigan State, and Duke to open the 2016 season.

Now at 1 – 3 the Non-Fighting Irish still have games against….

Syracuse
At NC State
Stanford
Miami
Navy
Army
Virginia Tech
At USC

….and it’s just a humble guess by the folks here at Coaches Hot Seat but we are thinking Notre Dame will win…

4….maybe 5…games in 2016

….and if Notre Dame wins 4…maybe 5…games in 2016…

Notre Dame will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after the USC game on November 26…

COUNT ON IT!

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9.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and his Purdue football team got a nice win at home over Nevada on Saturday which leaves Hazell’s records in FOUR seasons at the school at…

Overall:  8 – 31

Big Ten:  2 – 22

….and we have it on what we call Very Damn Good Authority that if Hazell wins less than 6 games in 2016 Purdue will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after the Indiana game on September 26!

Up next for Darrell Hazell and Purdue….at Maryland which has a first year coach in his first head coaching job which is a game that Purdue and Hazell SHOULD win but will they…

Not Bloody Likely!

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10.  Mark Stoops, Kentucky – We don’t know a whole lot of people around the University of Kentucky since we don’t follow college basketball like we do college football BUT we did reach what will call a “person of interest” in the Lexington area who told us on Monday of this week that…

“If Mark Stoops wins five games in 2016….Hell, maybe four games in 2016 he will be back to coach Kentucky next season.”

Geez…in your FOURTH year on the job at Kentucky you can win FOUR games and keep your job?

Well…this is Kentucky Football we are talking about here BUT with Kentucky now at 2 – 2 on the season and these games still to be played…

At Alabama
Vanderbilt
Mississippi State
At Missouri
Georgia
At Tennessee
Austin Peay
At Louisville

…can Mark Stoops and the Wildcats win just TWO of their last EIGHT games to save Mark Stoops job?

Now that is just Damn Silly that you can KEEP your job by winning TWO of your last EIGHT games but then can UK and Stoops even do that?

Maybe….Just Damn Maybe!

If Mark Stoops does win only 3 games in 2016…

Kentucky will be looking for a new head football coach shortly after Bobby Petrino and Louisville BEATS the Living Hell out of the Wildcats on November 26!

We Got The Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU When We Were in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida for The Players Championship Last Week From A Buddy of Ours From Baton Rouge and We Have Some News For Les Miles —> Either Win BIG Son Or You Are DONE Down on the Bayou!

 

We here at Coaches Hot Seat waited until The Players Championship which many of us attended this past week in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida to write about Les Miles in 2016 because we knew that one of our good buddies from Baton Rouge would be joining us at the beach and that we would get the…

Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU

….and as they say in the Bayou…

That Is Exactly Damn What We Got!

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A Helluva lot has been written about Les Miles near dismissal as the head football coach at LSU last November, but let’s cut through the Bullshit and get the following down on the barrelhead:

If the state of Louisiana have had a pot to piss in Les Miles would have lost his job last November…PERIOD!

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In the end it was the FACT that the state of Louisiana was flat-broke last November that save Les Miles Precious Ass and with thousands of folks in Louisiana hurting it would have looked very Damn bad to have sent Les Miles packing with a $18 Million Dollar buyout and there you have why Les Miles is still the head coach at LSU today.

As for the reasons why Les Miles should have been fired last November let’s go Joe Friday and give you a Helluva good reason why Les Miles is very Damn lucky to have a head coaching job in Baton Rouge today:

Since LSU lost to Alabama in the 2011 – 2012 Bogus BCS National Championship Game in New Orleans which encompasses the last FOUR college football seasons Les Miles has put up records of…

Overall:  37 – 14

SEC:  20 – 12

OK…those aren’t bad Overall and SEC Win/Loss records over the past FOUR seasons for Les Miles at LSU…BUT….let’s go Joe Friday again and say this time…

Just The Facts Ma’am

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….because we are talking about LSU Football here where Bozo the Clown could recruit Top 10 Recruiting Classes each year and where Les Miles has averaged over the last EIGHT seasons signing the…

No. 7 Recruiting Class in American according to Rivals.com

Oh….but if you are landing Top 10 Recruiting Classes on a regular basis…as Les Miles has done at LSU…one would think that your Win/Loss records against teams with .500 or better records would be pretty Damn good…right?

RIGHT…but NOT for Les Miles folks!

Let’s bring Joe Friday in with the FACTS and as they say on the Bayou…these FACTS are not pretty!

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In the last FOUR seasons Les Miles LSU Football Teams have played….

34 Games against FBS teams with .500 or better records and Les Miles’ record in those 34 games is…

19 – 15  (.559)

In the last FOUR seasons Les Miles LSU Football Teams have played…

29 Games in the SEC against teams with .500 or better records and Les Miles’ record in those 29 games is…

16 – 13  (.552)

Oh…that’s bad enough if not outright Very Damn Embarrassing for LSU Football….BUT….did we mention that Les Miles LSU Football Teams have lost…

FIVE straight games to Nick Saban and Alabama?

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So here is what you have on your hands now fans of LSU football….

You have a head coach in Les Miles that not only has lost FIVE straight games to Nick Saban and Alabama but you have a head coach in Les Miles that is making over $4 Million Dollars A Year posting winning percentages against teams with .500 or better records of…

Overall against .500 or better teams = .559

SEC against .500 or better teams = .552

Uhhh…got that is A Damn Joke Les Miles and by all rights your Ass Should Have Been Run Out of Baton Rouge and WOULD have been run out of Baton Rouge last November if…

The State of Louisiana had not been Dead Damn Broke!

Now let’s get back to the….

Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU

…that our buddy from Baton Rouge gave us in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida this past week which is…

“Les Miles HAS TO beat Alabama and win the SEC West in 2016 or he will not be employed at LSU in early December.”

Well Hell…that’s about as….

Flat-Ass Skinny on Les Miles Status at LSU

…that one can get and with that mind let’s go to LSU’s 2016 Football Schedule to see if Les Miles is indeed looking at his last season down on the Bayou:

Wisconsin – Lambeau Field
Jacksonville State
Mississippi State
At Auburn
Missouri
At Florida
Southern Miss
Ole Miss
Alabama
At Arkansas
South Alabama
At Texas A&M

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Well…Bozo the Clown or any Coonass in Louisiana…a term that Nick Saban knows well…could win…

4 Games coaching LSU in 2016

….but the question is how many games will Les Miles win in 2016 or rather the question is can Les Miles and his LSU Football Team BEAT Alabama and win the SEC West Division to save Les Miles job?

Not A Damn Chance in Hell….in our humble opinion!

How many games will Les Miles win in 2016….in our humble opinion?

7..maybe 8 Wins…for Les Miles and his LSU Football Team in 2016

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And if that happens as the Great Dandy Don Meredith used to say…or rather sing….

Turn Out the Lights on Les Miles Ass on the Bayou!

Gus Malzahn Is Sitting On One of the Hottest Seats in College Football Entering the 2016 College Football Season….and Should Be After What Was Nothing Less Than A Complete Freaking Disaster For Auburn Football In 2015! – Our Contact “Around” Auburn Lays Out the Reality That Now Faces Gus Malzahn AND Auburn AD Jay Jacobs = 2016 Is A Critical Year For BOTH Men! – Good Luck Gus!

 

OK…we West Coasters at Coaches Hot Seat will admit it…

We are loving us some SEC Football

….and since the late 1980s when a few Coaches Hot Seat members were serving in the US Navy in the Jacksonville, Florida area when a couple of us first ran into the Head Ball Coach Steve Spurrier at a Florida practice in Gainesville we have been lucky enough to have seen 100+ SEC football games in person, and there is not a more passionate place that loves their football more than at…

Auburn University!

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Yes….the folks at Alabama love their football team BUT not more than the folks at Auburn love theirs and that is why there is so much distress these days on The Plains because the Mighty Alabama Crimson Tide under Nick Saban has won…

4 of the last 7 National Championships

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….while Auburn has won what exactly?

ONE National Championship since 1957!

Yes…current Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn took the Auburn Tigers to the National Title Game in 2013 after what were nothing less than…

Two Luckier Than Hell Plays Against Georgia and Alabama at the end of the 2013 season

….BUT since Auburn lost to FSU in that 2013-14 Bogus BCS National Title Game one Gus Malzahn has put-up records of….

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….over the last two seasons and we have some news for Gus Malzahn and his immediate family:

If there is not SIGNIFICANT improvement in the Auburn Tigers football team in 2016 Auburn will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now…we here at Coaches Hot Seat being good business folks or what they would call “bidness folks” in the South have always made a point of making lots of contacts during our business endeavors, and that approach has extended to the great game of college football during our 40-plus years of watching this great game, and we now have a group of contacts across college football that we believe rivals anyone….and we happen to have a GREAT contact “around” Auburn who we have been talking to a lot over the past 6 months on the status of one….Gus Malzahn.

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We recently talked again to our contact “around” Auburn and asked him straight-out:

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What does Gus Malzahn have to do in 2016 to keep his job at Auburn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Whoa now boys…no one said Gus Malzahn is about t o be fired…but I will say there is plenty of pink paper in the Auburn athletic offices at the ready if Malzahn and his football team don’t perform this season and a pink slip has to be delivered.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What the Hell does that mean?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well now boys….Jay Jacobs (the Auburn AD) thinks very highly of the Auburn football program and believes it should compete toe-to-toe with Alabama and other SEC heavyweights EVERY year and if Malzahn should have another 8, 7 or Heaven help us 6 win or less season then Jacobs will no doubt have a list of coaches at the ready to make a move later this year.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Any guesses who might be on Jay Jacobs short-list to replace a fired Gus Malzahn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys…you didn’t hear this from me….but if you asked me to guess I would think Jay’s list would include…in order mind you…

Jimbo Fisher
Mark Dantonio
Art Briles
Gary Patterson
Dan Mullen
Tom Herman

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Geez…that’s a pretty strong list of coaches!”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys….if Jay Jacobs has to fire a third head football coach (Tuberville, Chizik, Malzahn) since 2008 you can bet your bottom Dollar this time Jay will go big and be bringing a Heckuva lot of money with him…..meaning Saban-type money.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be $7 million dollars plus per season.”

Auburn Contact:  “Exactly….Auburn cannot make another mistake in hiring its next coach…that is if Jay Jacobs is given the chance to hire the next coach, because if Malzahn should someone not win 6 or more games in 2016 then Jay Jacobs may be fired right before Gus Malzahn is.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be carnage on The Plains.”

Auburn Contact:  “It would be carnage in the family….but sometimes a good housecleaning is needed and Auburn may need that is this season implodes under Gus (Malzahn).”

OK…it seems pretty clear to us that Gus Malzahn is sitting on one of the Hottest Damn Seats in College Football and should be with records the last two seasons at Auburn of…

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….so let’s go the numbers and look at Auburn’s 2016 schedule.

Gus Malzahn, Auburn

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4 th season at South Carolina

Overall Head Coaching Record (Arkansas State + Auburn):  36 – 16

Auburn Head Coaching Record

Overall:  27 – 17

SEC:  13 – 11

Let’s look at Auburn’s 2016 football schedule:

Clemson
Arkansas State
Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

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OK….Bozo the Clown or ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

3 Football Games

….coaching Auburn in 2016 BUT as we look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule which begins with FIVE straight home games we are thinking that Gus Malzahn and his Auburn Tigers better Damn be NO worse than…

4 – 1

…when they travel to play at Mississippi State on October 8 because we see FOUR serious potential losses in Auburn’s last SEVEN games…

At Mississippi State
At Ole Miss
At Georgia
At Alabama

Here’s the problem for Gus Malzahn….in our opinion if Auburn finishes with a record worse than…

8 – 4 overall

5 – 3 in SEC play

….Gus Malzahn is going to be in a Helluva spot when the Alabama game is over on November 26 and if Auburn finishes at…

7 – 5 overall

4 – 4 in SEC play

….in 2016 which would leave Malzahn’s the last THREE seasons at Auburn standing at…

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….then Gus Malzahn is….

DONE at Auburn…PERIOD!

Hell….with 3 games at home against Clemson, Texas A&M, and LSU in the first 5 weeks of the season Gus Malzahn could be DONE at Auburn before October 1 if the Tigers somehow tripped up and lost those 3 CRITICAL games!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Coach YOUR football team YOUR way in 2016 because there’s a very Damn good chance this will be YOUR last year at Auburn unless there is dramatic improvement from the Tigers football team of 2016 which in our opinion was nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

….because when you finish at…

2 – 6 in SEC play

….at Auburn that is just flat-out a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

Good Luck Gus!

The State of Alabama Football – Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!

 

The State of Alabama Football

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A couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa from last Thursday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon for the Ole Miss – Alabama football game and to interview a few University of Alabama Culverhouse College of Commerce which they report is a mighty Damn fine school of business and late last night after doing some poking around the Alabama football program also the last few days they filed what they called…

The State of Alabama Football

…report which is Damn fascinating reading that is most certainly NOT for public consumption since many of the conclusions would probably land our asses in court if we published them in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog but we can say in this spot that…

There is something rotten in the state of Tuscaloosa!

What exactly is going on with Alabama football right now and where is the Crimson Tide football program headed into the future?

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Well…and these are our opinions here at Coaches Hot Seat mind you….BUT…the bottom-line conclusion of our folks on the ground in Tuscaloosa on The State of Alabama Football is…

Nick Saban overreacted to the “Kick 6” loss to Auburn at the end of the 2013 season which eventually led to Saban firing Bama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier and to the hiring of Lane Kiffin under what we will call…

“Dubious and Pressured Circumstances and in many ways forced on Nick Saban by “a couple of folks” in the name of “saving Lane Kiffin” precious ass when Kiffin’s coaching career was going into the toilet where it rightly belonged then and belongs today!”

…..and now instead of Nick Saban spending his time as the head coach at Alabama and primarily working on the defensive side of the ball Saban now spends upwards of 50% of his time overseeing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and the Alabama offense.

In the opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that spent several days in Tuscaloosa the once mighty Alabama offense which won three national titles for Nick Saban and was focused on controlling the ball, dominating the opposing team’s defense, and generally destroying the will of their opponents has now been “hollowed-out” by the implementation of Kiffin’s hurry-up spread offense that prizes showcasing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and Little Damn Else!

In case anyone was wondering below is the definition of “hollowed-out” as an adjective, noun and verb according to dictionary.com:

Hollowed-Out
adjective, hollower, hollowest.
1. having a space or cavity inside; not solid; empty: a hollow sphere.
2. having a depression or concavity: a hollow surface.
3. sunken, as the cheeks or eyes.
4. (of sound) not resonant; dull, muffled, or deep: a hollow voice.
5. without real or significant worth; meaningless: a hollow victory.
6. insincere or false: hollow compliments.
7. hungry; having an empty feeling: I feel absolutely hollow, so let’s eat.
noun
8. an empty space within anything; a hole, depression, or cavity.
9. a valley: They took the sheep to graze in the hollow.
10. Foundry. a concavity connecting two surfaces otherwise intersecting at an obtuse angle.
verb (used with object)
11. to make hollow (often followed by out): to hollow out a log.
12. to form by making something hollow (often followed by out): to hollow a place in the sand; boats hollowed out of logs.

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Yep…that’s the Alabama offense under Lane Kiffin…

Freaking Hollowed-Out!

On a related note the two Coaches Hot Seat members got to see Nick Saban close-up and we mean close-up…within 10 feet…before the Ole Miss – Alabama game and they wrote in their report on The State of Alabama Football about the appearance of Nick Saban and the Alabama coaching staff:

“Nick Saban looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks if not months. The area below his eyes were very swollen suggesting severe fatigue and it looked as if Saban had aged 10 years since the last time we saw him close-up at the Oklahoma – Alabama Sugar Bowl game in January 2013.

There is a noticeable tension among the Alabama coaching staff with both the staff and players looking very nervous and not confident at all right before kick-off of the game against Ole Miss. The Alabama sideline and coaches were much more subdued in the game against Ole Miss compared to when we have seen Alabama in-person in the past, and it seems the coaches and players were taking cues from Nick Saban who seemed unhappy before the game, miserable during the game, and in a complete daze as the game ended. It almost seemed like the Alabama coaches and players came into the game expecting to lose to Ole Miss and that is exactly what happened in a real world case of what one feared most becoming reality.

We foresee changes to the Alabama coaching staff in the upcoming offseason with Lane Kiffin leaving soon after the season is over if not before and maybe Nick Saban leaving Alabama if the right head coaching job offer came along because it seems that Saban is miserable having to meet the never-ending expectations at Alabama where winning games and championships isn’t expected but rather a birthright given to Alabama by God himself. Nick Saban needs a new challenge for the last 7 to 10 years of his coaching career and trying to keep winning championships at Alabama where not winning a National Title every year is akin to insulating Bama fans across the globe doesn’t look like much fun which means we believe Nick Saban will either be working in television a year from now or coaching the Texas Longhorns.”

There is a Helluva lot more in the 14 page report including an entertaining section on just what in the Hell is wrong with the Alabama offense which his titled:

“How Lane Kiffin Destroyed A Championship Winning Offense in Two Years While Getting His Ass Kissed by the Media”

OK…enough on Alabama for now….because we will have a Helluva lot more to say about Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Paul Finebaum, Jimmy Sexton, and “Y Person” if Alabama loses to Georgia and lands all four of the above Bastards on the Hot Seat with an analysis of the Complete and Total Idiocy that led to Nick Saban hiring Lane Kiffin at Alabama which may just turn-out to be one of the Stupidest Decisions in the history of sports in America as Kiffin brings down one of the Great College Football Dynasties in the history of the game and for what…to save the coaching career of Lane Freaking Kiffin!

Oh, please let Georgia beat Alabama….although in our opinion…

Georgia is NOT MAN ENOUGH to beat Alabama!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches

Come on down Johnny Cash because we have a few Coaches on the Hot Seat that love to hear you sing Ring of Fire…NOT REALLY!

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21.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles got a nice win over Texas State on the road on Saturday by the score of 56 – 50 which runs the USM record to 2 – 1 in 2015 and gives Monken’s team the opportunity to win a decent amount of games this season AND get Todd Monken off the Hot Seat!

In his third season at Southern Miss Todd Monken now has win/loss records of…

Overall:  6 – 21

CUSA:  2 – 14

….and a game at Nebraska this coming Saturday. Can Southern Miss possibly beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln and in the process further turn up the heat on Mike Riley’s ass in the process?

Probably not…BUT…the goal for Todd Monken and Southern Miss is to get to 6 wins in 2015 and with 2 wins on the board all the Golden Eagles need now is 4 wins and out of their last 9 games and if Monken can’t accomplish that in his third season on the job then his ass deserves to be on the Hot Seat!

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22.  Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and the Miami Hurricanes did their Damndest to give away the game to Nebraska on Saturday but in the end the Canes got the win in overtime and now it is on to Cincinnati for the 3 – 0 “U” which is a game that a Miami head coach in his FIFTH year on the job at Miami just flat-out CANNOT LOSE!

With Florida State up next Miami MUST beat Cincinnati on the road on October 1 as they look for the “9 to 10 wins” that Al Golden MUST have to remain the Hurricanes coach in 2016 and with these games left to play it’s easy to see why Cincinnati is a MUST WIN Game!

At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
Clemson
At Duke
Virginia
At North Carolina
Georgia Tech
At Pitt

Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule for Al Golden…but Hell this is “The U” we are talking about here so if the Canes beat Cincinnati we are expecting a….

10 – 2

…final regular season record at the worst!

Coach ‘Em Up Al Golden!

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23.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has yet figured out why Craig Bohl left powerhouse FCS program North Dakota State for FBS weakling Wyoming because it was our opinion that Bohl was in line for a BIG FBS job after all his success at NDSU which we thought might be Nebraska once Bo Pelini was run out of Lincoln which was always going to happen eventually….right? RIGHT!

Maybe Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska got the word from the folks in Lincoln that he was never going to jump from North Dakota State to his alma mater BUT if we had been the AD at Nebraska we would have fired Bo Pelini a few years ago just to hire Craig Bohl BUT then what the Hell do we know compared to that Real Man of Genius now running Nebraska Athletics Shawn Eichorst who will be run out of Lincoln on a rail with his coaching hire Mike Riley if Riley doesn’t exceed Pelini’s winning ways in Lincoln…right? RIGHT!

Whatever is going on in Lincoln Craig Bohl in his second season at Wyoming is sitting on records of…

Overall:  4 – 11

MWC:  2 – 6

….and has started the 2015 season off at 0 – 3 which has put Bohl into a Helluva spot that he will only get out of by doing one thing…

Winning Football Games!

Here is what Wyoming has left to play this season…

At New Mexico
At Appalachian State
At Air Force
Nevada
At Boise State
At Utah State
Colorado State
At San Diego State
UNLV

…and if you can find 6 wins for Wyoming out of their remaining 9 games then you are either an Idiot or doing some serious Damn drugs!

Will Craig Bohl’s once promising coaching career end in the wide-open plains of Wyoming after pulling one of the strangest coaching career moves in history that rivals Paul Dietzel’s decision in 1961 to leave LSU for the Army job which also ended up as a Complete Freaking Disaster?

Maybe so.

24.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson and Tulane got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over FCS Maine and now it’ss back to Not Really Big Boy Football after a bye week when Tulane hosts UCF which will probably be 0 – 4 once they get to New Orleans and in a Complete and Total Death Spiral under George O’Leary who it seems wants to be an AD more than he wants to be a Head Coach with his UCF football team reflecting that reality!

Very simply Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 and when we write Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 we mean Curtis Johnson needs…

6 Wins in the Regular Season

….to get Tulane back to a bowl game and somewhat back in the conversation as a legitimate football program and if Tulane doesn’t get 6 wins in 2015 then a pretty decent job for an up-and-coming young football coach who loves eating good food will probably open up in the Great City of New Orleans come December.

Get some wins Curtis Johnson starting with a win over Hapless UCF on October 3 but until then enjoy New Orleans!

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25.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – After starting 2 – 0 with wins over Georgia Southern and Liberty West Virginia had a bye week and now the football season actually begins with a MUST WIN Game against Maryland at home that Dana Holgorsen and the Mountaineers MUST WIN because they have a trip to Oklahoma on deck and being at 2 – 2 after four games would do nothing but turn the heat up on Holgorsen’s ass and make things very uncomfortable for Dana when Oklahoma State shows up in Morgantown on October 10.

BEAT Maryland and get off the Hot Seat for now Dana Holgorsen.

LOSE to Maryland and the Hot Seat just gets HOTTER Dana Holgorsen!

26.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Here’s the problem for Kent State head coach Paul Haynes:

Paul Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won 11 games in 2012 under Darrell Hazell and here are Kent State’s records the last two-plus seasons…

2013:  4 – 8
2014:  2 – 9
2015:  1 – 2

…and that is either a trend that Paul Haynes will reverse and quick in 2015 or Kent State will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now at 1 – 2 on the season after a nice game but yet another loss against Minnesota with the lone win coming over Delaware State…CUPCAKE….this season Kent State has left to play in 2015….

Marshall
At Miami, Ohio
At Toledo
At UMass
Bowling Green
Buffalo
At Ohio
Central Michigan
At Akron

…and we would recommend the Golden Flashes find 5 more wins out their last 9 games for their head football coach….just a friendly recommendation from the folks at Coaches Hot Seat!

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27.  Bob Davie, New Mexico – When Bob Davie was working as an analyst for ESPN he always said that he would run the type of offense he is now running at New Mexico which to us is a slight variation of the run option offense that both Davie and Lou Holtz ran at Notre Dame which to us is ugly as Hell but then we tend to favor the West Coast offense as created by the Late Great Bill Walsh which had a huge running component but hands down was and is the most beautiful football offense in the world when called, run and executed correctly.

Whatever type of offense Bob Davie is running at New Mexico the FACTS are Davie’s records in four seasons at the school now stand at…

Overall:  12 – 28

MWC:  4 – 20

….which is not the kind of win/loss record that the folks in Albuquerque were expecting when they hired former Notre Dame head coach Bob Davie and we know that is how a couple of big New Mexico athletics boosters feel because we played golf with them earlier this year near Santa Fe and they told us that…

“Either Bob Davie takes New Mexico to a bowl game this season or it’s over for Bob.”

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That was pretty matter of fact and with the Lobos now at 1 – 2 on the season and these games remaining to be played….

At Wyoming
New Mexico State
At Nevada
Hawaii
At San Jose State
Utah State
At Boise State
Colorado State
Air Force

…if Davie can squeeze out 5 wins out of New Mexico’s last 9 games and get his team to a bowl game for the first time in his four years at UNM then he should get a few more seasons to get things right with the Lobos BUT Bob…that Damn offense son…it just looks like Hell!

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28.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – The “What Ifs” on Bobby Petrino’s coaching career are a mile long BUT the one decision that stands out to us was Petrino’s decision to interview for the Auburn head coaching job after only being gone from Auburn for one season where he worked as the offensive coordinator for Tommy Tuberville the very coach that a few Auburn trustees and athletic director were working to run out of town only to be replaced by an assistant in Petrino that had just left the school. Since it was Tommy Tuberville that brought Bobby Petrino to Auburn from the NFL which was a move that in FACT led to Petrino getting the Louisville head coaching job if it had been any of us sitting in Petrino’s shoes and someone from Auburn called us about the Auburn head coaching job before Tommy Tuberville had even been fired the very first thing we would have done is call Tuberville….the man that helped Petrino out….and tell Tubbs that he was being undermined by a few Bastards at Auburn.

Instead Bobby Petrino took that call and met secretly with those Auburn Bastards which of course was leaked out to radio show host Paul Finebaum from the pilot or pilots of the plane that took those Auburn Bastards to Louisville for that secret meeting with Petrino and as they say the rest is history with that history being…

Tommy Tuberville keeping his job at Auburn

Bobby Petrino bolting for the Atlanta Falcons after telling everyone that would listen he would not be leaving Louisville

Bobby Petrino leaving the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas job before his first season was even completed

Bobby Petrino having his dalliance and motorcycle crash at Arkansas and then lying about it and getting his ass rightly fired in Fayetteville

Bobby Petrino getting the Western Kentucky job which he held for one season

Bobby Petrino getting re-hired at Louisville 8 years after he told anyone that would listen he would never be leaving Louisville

Hell, you truly could not make the above up but then the ONLY reason Bobby Petrino was re-hired at Louisville is because he wins football games…at least on the college level…but now the Cardinals are off to an 0 – 3 start after losses to Auburn, Houston and Clemson and they have these games still left to be played:

Samford
At NC State
At Florida State
Boston College
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Virginia
At Pitt
At Kentucky

Can Bobby Petrino and Louisville find at least 6 wins out of their remaining 9 games and avoid a losing season in 2015 which Petrino has only posted one time before on the college level?

That is a hard question to answer but we can easily recall how much Bobby Petrino loved rubbing it in the faces of Kentucky football fans how much better the Louisville football program was than Kentucky during Petrino’s first Louisville stint and here’s to hoping Louisville is 5 – 6 when they play Kentucky in Lexington on November 28 and the Kentucky Wildcats…

BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BOBBY PETRINO AND THE LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!

….and Petrino getting a taste of his own Bullshit not that Bobby Petrino would give two rips because something like this would happen —>

Petrino’s agent is on the phone and there is an AD somewhere in America willing to sell out his soul to win a few football games and he is interested in talking to Bobby Petrino!

Our guess….Bobby Petrino would sell-out Louisville again telling anyone that would listen he would never be leaving the school moments before he walked out the door!

No…we don’t HATE Bobby Petrino like we HATED or rather HATE Charlie Weis but for Damn sure Bobby Petrino has a lot of Bullshit to atone for and here’s to hoping that a Helluva lot of that atoning happens to Bobby Petrino in 2015 and if it does we will take Great Joy in lighting up Petrino’s Sorry Ass!

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29.  Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – Over the years a number of Coaches Hot Seat members have gotten to Boca Raton, Florida for business or vacation and we have met a number of the folks that support FAU athletics which in reality didn’t really exist when we first started going to Boca Raton years ago and it was the opinion of many here at Coaches Hot Seat which we expressed to our Boca Raton friends that Mike Leach who is now at Washington State but then was living Key West would have been an ideal head football coach at FAU. Mike Leach of course took the Washington State job which although a nice head coaching job doesn’t really fit “The Pirate” very well and our thinking was that Mike Leach would do well at FAU and then take one of the bigger jobs in the state of Florida like Miami, USF or UCF after few years at FAU but alas Leach went to the Northwest and FAU hired Charlie Partridge who although a nice guy and good football coach hasn’t done a Helluva lot in Boca Raton while posting records of…

Overall:  3 – 12

CUSA:  2 – 6

….in two years on the job at FAU.

Now with an 0 – 3 start to the 2015 season with losses to Tulsa, Miami and Buffalo (who has a first year head coach) FAU and Partridge face the daunting task of finding 6 wins in their last 9 games to get bowl eligible with this remaining schedule:

At Charlotte
Rice
Marshall
At UTEP
FIU
At Western Kentucky
Middle Tennessee
At Florida
At Old Dominion

Sorry…we just don’t see FAU winning 6 games in 2015 but then Charlie Partridge could prove us wrong now couldn’t he?

Coach ‘Em Up Charlie and if you don’t…..You Got It….Hot Seat!

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30.  Jeff Monken, Army – We don’t not like putting the head coaches of the US Military service academies on the Hot Seat but Jeff Monken in his second year at Army after a nice four-year run as the head coach at Georgia Southern has forced our hand by starting the 2015 season out at 0 – 3 in three closes losses to three pretty decent football teams but losses nonetheless.

Yes…playing winning football is not easy at a place like West Point but we are expecting a lot out of Jeff Monken at Army and now at 0 – 3 on the season with these games remaining to be played….

At Eastern Michigan
At Penn State
Duke
Bucknell
At Rice
At Air Force
Tulane
Rutgers
Navy

….it’s not going to be easy getting to 6 wins for Army this season but then it wasn’t easy on the US Army at the Battle of the Bulge either was it?

Go Army!

Win Some Damn Football Games!

But For Damn Sure Don’t Beat Navy!

Go Navy!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

ShakespeareSevenAges

Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.