Tag Archive: Northwestern

COACHES HOT SEAT > Northwestern

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

November 21, 2022

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > When you are sitting on a record of 37 – 21 in 5 seasons at Texas A&M which ain’t good at all if anyone’s asking one starts to wonder just what in the Hell is inside that Very Average Record and so we took at look it and Jimbo Fisher’s…

Record against FBS Teams with .500+ Records in Year the Aggies played them is…wait for it…

17 – 20

The $86 Million Buyout Man has a record of 17 – 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ records!

If that doesn’t say it all then what the Hell does exactly?

Geez…Texas A&M has paid Jimbo Fisher around $40 Million Dollars and his ass is sitting on a record of…

17 and Freaking 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ Records!

Yep…this will all be corrected by continuing this Damn Nonsense for another year!

2.  Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald whose ass have a hard time getting a job Shoveling Shit if not on the Northwestern campus in our humble opinion not that Pretty Boy Patty Boy have the Guts to take a job in the Real World where your ass actually has got to perform to get paid lost another game on Saturday which drops the Non-Fighting Candy Ass Wildcats to 1 – 10 on the season with only a game against Illinois left on the docket…the High Tea + Crumpets Docket that is!

What happens to a football program when you go Total Candy Ass?

Northwestern Football right now is the answer to that question so any coaches out there thinking of following Pretty Boy Patty Boy down the Yellow Lollipop Non-Brick Road of Total Candy Ass don’t do it…Just Don’t Do It!

3.  David Shaw, Stanford > Only David Shaw down by 10 points at the end of a football game would run a field goal kicker onto the field to try a meaningless field goal in the Candy Ass Game between Stanford and Cal and what a Perfect Summary for Stanford Football the last 4 seasons…

Kicking A Meaningless Field Goal for what reason exactly?

To sooth the egos of Worthless Candy Asses that wouldn’t know how to play the Game of Football on the best day of their lives?

The Last 4 Seasons David Shaw’s record at Stanford is now…wait for it…

14 – 27

Stanford coulda have hired Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown who fell off the Cal Train at the Palo Alto Station and made him Head Football Coach at Stanford and done better than that but then Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown wouldn’t have turned Stanford Football into Total Candy Asses who don’t know how to…

Block, Tackle, Hit, Run, Do Damn Anything that has Anything To Do With the Game of Football in America!

To say that Stanford Football is a Damn Disgrace to Stanford, to College Football, and to the American Republic and its People is Self-Evident but what may not be Self-Evident to folks that don’t follow Stanford Football closely is that in the Spring of 2019 David Shaw and the Stanford Coaching Staff were warned if they turned the Cardinal Football Players into Total Candy Asses it would be a Total Disaster and guess what happened…

Yep…A Total Freaking Damn Disaster!

Shameful….Just Damn Shameful….on Every Damn Imaginable Level!

4.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > We got to see New Mexico play football this past Friday night and now we know why Danny Gonzalez has been a Total Disaster in Albuquerque…

New Mexico is one of the Most Fundamentally Unsound Football Teams we have seen in 40+ years of watching College Football

…and now you know why Gonzales is sitting on a record of….

7 – 23

….in 3 seasons with the Lobos!

Surely this Total Disaster cannot continue!

5.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > West Virginia has a proud football tradition going back for decades now and Neal Brown in 4 seasons at WVU is now sitting on records of…

Overall > 21 – 25

Big 12 > 13 – 21

…and thus it’s Self-Evident why West Virginia will have a New Head Football Coach in 2023!

6.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The folks at Arkansas State are mighty proud of how far they have come with their football program in recent years and rightly so and thus Butch Jones in 2 seasons on the job at ASU sitting on records of….

Overall > 5 – 17

Sun Belt > 3 – 12

…has got to mean that Butch is about to get his ass run out of Jonesboro….Right?

7.  Philip Montgomery, Tulsa > Ole Philip has had a nice…make that Yo-Yo run….at Tulsa in the last 8 seasons posting….

4 Winning Seasons in 8 Years on the job

…and records of…

Overall > 42 – 53

AAC: 27 – 34

Surely this cannot continue at a place that is proud of their football as the folks in Tulsa are of theirs….Right?

Maybe it can…if you willing to Accept Average As Hell!

8.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College > After two seasons of 6 – 5 and 6 – 6 for Jeff Hafley at Boston College which is Average at Best at BC we expected the Eagles to be a little better in 2022 but they have been a Total Disaster and after a blowout loss at the hands of Notre Dame where it looked like the BC players were hardly trying the Eagles are 3 – 8 with only a game at reeling Syracuse left on the schedule.

Will Boston College bother to show up to play against Syracuse in a game they could easily win?

If not then Hafley should be fired right after the game!

9.  Mario Cristobal, Miami > Against a Clemson Team that has given up 20+ points in 6 of its 8 ACC Conference Games in 2022 Miami was only able to score 10 points and couldn’t get even 100 yards of Total Offense and like we said weeks ago in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog…

Either Mario Cristobal will get his hands off the Miami Offense and let the Canes run something above a Pee Wee Level Offense or Mario’s ass will be run right out of Miami!

The Canes are now 5 – 6 on the season with none of those wins coming against FBS teams with .500+ records and they got a game against Pittsburgh at home left to try and get to even Pitiful Bowl Eligible and if Miami cannot find a way to rally and win this game at home then Mario Cristobal will start the 2023 season on one of the Hottest Preseason Hot Seat in recent College Football History and will be at risk of getting his ass run right out of South Florida after only 2 years on the job if he posted another sub .500 record!

Don’t lose to Pitt now Mario!

10.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > Arizona has looked better in Year 2 than Year 1 under Jedd Fisch but Facts Are Stubborn Things is what John Adams is to have reported to have said and in two years on the job Jedd Fisch’s records at Arizona now stand at >

Overall > 5 – 17

Pac-12 > 3 – 13

Recent Head Coaches Records after 2 seasons at Arizona >

Kevin Sumlin > 9 – 15
Rich Rodriguez > 16 – 10
Mike Stoops> 6 – 16

Can Arizona beat Arizona State on Saturday so that Jedd Fisch can at least match Mike Stoops 6 wins in his first two seasons at Arizona?

We sure don’t know the answer to that question but win or lose to the Sun Devils it’s still….

Coaches Hot Seat

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Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

November 14, 2022

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > You really gotta wonder about the Simple Intelligence of the people who work at Texas A&M University who don’t seem to have any understanding of what Texas A&M stands for or should be projecting into the world, because if anyone at Texas A&M had a Damn Clue about what Texas A&M stands for and is they would have NEVER hired…

Dennis Franchione
Mike Sherman
Kevin Sumlin
Jimbo Fisher

….to follow RC Slocum as the Head Coach of the Aggies!

There is a serious problem at Texas A&M that extends far beyond the Total Damn Disaster that is Jimbo Fisher’s football program in Aggieland and it is the so-called Leadership at A&M and the Top Boosters not knowing…

Just what in the Hell that Texas A&M University is all about!

It’s not about Jimbo Fisher who has created a Selfish, Self-Consumed, and Toxic environment with Aggies Football and was allowed to do so in our opinion in the blind pursuit of a National Championship but here’s a Newsflash for you Damn Morons running Texas A&M and sit in those fancy suites at Kyle Field that…

Don’t Know Your Asses From the Side of a Barn

…and proved it by first hiring Jimbo Fisher, second giving Jimbo a Totally Absurd Contract, and third extending that contract last year when a Total Gift from Heaven was sent to you and LSU wanting to hire Fisher that got your Totally Stupid Asses out of the that Totally Stupid and Absurd Contract with Jimbo!

Very Simply…the so-called Leadership at Texas A&M and Top Alums + Boosters are…

Very Stupid People that are not qualified to run a lemonade stand forget about a Great Institution like Texas A&M University and especially oversee the Aggies Football Program and it’s been this way for 2 Damn Decades now!

Reality is if you don’t count the Corona Virus Season of 2020 which was Total Horseshit Football from start to finish Jimbo Fisher’s Win/Loss Records at Texas A&M are >

Overall > 28 – 20

SEC > 14 – 18

Anyone with a 2+ IQ would look in the mirror and admit they are Total Damn Morons and raise the $86M and buyout Jimbo Fisher before Aggies Football is Totally Destroyed but what you gotta understand…

The folks that run and support Texas A&M University are…

Too Big of a Damn Cowards to admit the Truth that they are Damn Morons and even if they did run Jimbo’s ass out of College Station none of them have the have the Simple Common Sense to go hire a…

Real Football Coach!

…to replace Jimbo!

Not A Damn One of Them!

2.  Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Pretty Boy Patty Boy and his Non-Fighting Wildcats got their asses handed to them again…

This time by that Powerhouse Football Program Minnesota

….to drop to 1 – 9 on the season and what can we say about Pretty Boy Patty Boy that we haven’t already said this season beyond Pretty Boy Patty Boy…

Those are some mighty Pretty Non-Football Players you got there at Northwestern

…and we would recommend you not get your team into a disagreement with the Northwestern Chess Club because those Boys….

Would Whip You and Your Non-Fighting Players Asses and Make You Like It!

Anyone out there in America wants a coach that can turn your football team into a bunch of…

Damn Candy Asses

…too give Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy up in Evanston a call because he’s your Boy for sure!

Northwestern at 1 – 9 has left in 2022 >

At Purdue
Illinois

Got 1 – 11 Pretty Boy Patty Boy?

Your ass is about to have it Son so Pass the Tea and Crumpets because it’s High Tea time in Evanston which is pretty much around the clock these days in Evanston!

3.  David Shaw, Stanford > What can you do but laugh at what a Total Laughingstock that Non-Football Stanford Cardinal program is now because for Damn Sure these Boys and that’s what they are from David Shaw on down…

Just Boys without a Damn Clue about Life or Anything Else

…who are now a Total Joke in the Pac-12 just like Stanford Football was before Jimmy Harbaugh got to The Farm in 2007!

The Big Game is this coming Saturday with the #3 and #4 Hot Seat Coaches facing off and both their Sorry Asses should not be coaching in this game and should have already been fired because they are both a…

Damn Disgrace to Stanford and Cal

….because of ONE SIMPLE REASON >

Neither are Coaching Football nor anything close to the Game of Football!

Tidily-Winks maybe…but certainly not Football!

4.  Justin Wilcox, California > Justin Wilcox firing his Offensive Coordinator and Offensive Line Coach like Captain of the Titanic rearranging the deck chairs as the ship was going down but come on now…

No one really cares whether Cal Football wins or not beyond Wilcox being able to keep cashing a check that his ass does not deserve to cash because…

Wilcox has Failed as the Cal Head Coach with a 29 – 35 record in 6 seasons and he should be fired but come on now…

No one really cares about Cal Football or The Big Game because it is now little more than a Farce of a Game between 2 programs that no longer play the Game of Football!

It’s Just Tidily-Winks!

5. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > Dan Gonzales’s records at New Mexico >

Overall > 7 – 22

MWC > 3 – 18

What else is there to say?

Nothing…Just Damn Nothing!

6.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy > Just like with David Shaw at Stanford a few years ago we knew totally that when Kenny Boy at Navy started talking about Non-Tackling in Practice that Navy Football was Doomed and Doomed it has been with Navy posting a record over the past 3 seasons of…

10 – 22

This is Very Simple Pretty Boy Patty Boy Fitzgerald, David Shaw, Kenny Boy >

If your ass doesn’t Practice the Game of Football your ass will NOT play the Game of Football in the Games you Damn Morons! Go to practice on Monday and Hit, Tackle, Block, and actually Practice the Game of Football and your teams will Improve Immediately in the next game but keep up this Candy Ass Horseshit…and you will turn your players into even Bigger and More Worthless Candy Asses you Damn Morons!

Just Damn Idiots!

7.  Brent Venables, Oklahoma > While Northwestern, Stanford, and Navy have a very simple problem to fix…

They are all coached by Total Candy Asses who have turned their teams into Total Candy Asses

…the problem at Oklahoma is a little different and what it boils down to is this >

A Lack of Leadership by Brent Venables that has led his Sooners team to not believe in what he and his coaches are telling the players and the Oklahoma team plays like it doesn’t believe in their coaches but then to call Oklahoma a “Team” is a stretch because it certainly isn’t anything close to a “Team!”

We could fly to Norman on Monday and fix the problems with Oklahoma Football with 1 Meeting and 3 Practices of the team this week but that’s not going to happen so either Brent Venables figures this out and quick or he’s gonna get his ass run right out of Norman!

The now 5 – 5 Sooners have left in 2022 >

Oklahoma State
At Texas Tech

We Highly Recommend you beat the Pokes on Saturday Brent…Highly Recommend…because you lose this game Son the amount of HEAT that’s gonna be brought by Sooners fans will be something neither you nor anyone on your staff has ever experienced before!

1 Meeting and 3 Practices and it’s fixed….easily!

8.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas > We have always liked Steve Sarkisian a Helluva Lot going back to first time we ran into Sark when he joined Pete Carroll’s staff at USC and Sark is a good guy who wants to do things right and we would like nothing more than for Sark to Win and Win Big at Texas but Son….

This is nothing short of a Total Damn Disaster at Texas right now!

Sarkisian is now 11 – 11 in 2 seasons at Texas and NO Head Coach who has started with a record like that in Texas Football History has been able to hang around for long so with the Horns now at 6 – 4 on the season with these games left >

At Kansas
Baylor

We recommend Sark win both those games and especially don’t lose to Kansas on Saturday…NO don’t do that Son!

9.  Tom Allen, Indiana > We take no joy having Tom Allen on the Hot Seat but Tom…the last 2 seasons Son…

Overall > 5 – 17

Big Ten > 1 – 15

…what in the Hell is going on here Tom?

The 3 – 7 Hoosiers have left in 2022 >

At Michigan State
Purdue

That’s probably 3 – 9 after going 2 – 10 in 2021!

What in the Hell is going on here Tom?

Gotta be something and since we aren’t at the Indiana practices to see what it is Tom you need to figure it out…what are you doing wrong because you are doing something wrong and you better Damn figure out what it is and quick!

10.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > Word is in the Hollars of West Virginia that the Power and $$$ Folks at WVU want to fire Neal Brown and we can see why with Neal sitting on these records >

Overall > 21 – 24

Big 12 > 13 – 0

That’s not going to cut it at West Virginia and with WVU now at 4 – 6 with these games left >

Kansas State
At Oklahoma State

We would guess that it would take West Virginia winning both their remaining games to just give Brown a chance of hanging onto this job!

Coaches Hot Seat

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Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

November 7, 2022

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash and….

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > You gotta feel for the Average Texas A&M Football Fan because…

They got a Head Coach that 95% of Aggies fans would love to fire tomorrow and yet…

They cannot fire Jimbo’s Ass because they would own him $86M Large if they did!

Got Damn Lunacy on Steroids?

Yep and what a Helluva Lesson that no one in College Athletics will learn a Damn Thing from but here’s the Real Kicker and hold onto your sides because your ass is about to breakout laughing like a Hyena drunk on East Tennessee River Moonshine >

If the Aggies fire Jimbo’s Ass after the 2023 season they will owe him…wait for it…

$77M Large!

As one Aggie Buddy of ours in Houston told us on Sunday…

“Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures and since our Aggies asses are in a sling here with Jimbo there are 500,000 Aggies alums in the world today and if each one of them just donated $172 each we could fire Jimbo’s Damn Ass this afternoon! Just for good measure I will throw in $1,720 to really get the ball rolling and Hell if we lose to Auburn this coming Saturday make that $17,200!”

Oh…the Aggies go to Auburn on Saturday to play a fired-up Tigers team under Cadillac Williams and you know what that means…

Aggies and Jimbo about to get their asses handed to them on The Plains by a team with an Interim Head Coach and Roster that has about 50% of the Talent of Texas A&M!

$172 Per Aggie…Time To Pony Up Aggies and end this Damn Stupidity before it gets really bad in Aggieland and you ain’t no where the Rock Bottom that is coming Aggies…trust us on that one!

2.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy and his Non-Fighting Wildcats lost another game on Saturday and over the last 4 seasons for Pretty Boy Patty Boy that’s a record of…

14 – 28

….which a Perfect Pretty Boy Patty Boy Winning Percentage of…wait for it…

.333!

Pass the Tea & Crumpets because Mr. .333 Pretty Boy Patty Boy is on a number that rhymes with…

Tea, Tea, Tea

…which his Non-Fighting Wildcats take each day at High Noon instead of practicing and then they have a Fun, Fun, Fun Goose Down Pillow Fight in a warm room inside the Northwestern Athletic Complex because Pretty Boy Patty Boy’s players can’t be getting their little tushes cold now outside….no we can’t have that!

The Non-Fighting Wildcats with a loss on Saturday are now at…

1 – 8

….on the season and have left games against….

At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Got 14 – 31 the last 4 seasons which would be a Winning Percentage of .311 for Pretty Boy Patty Boy?

Great Thing is .311 Rhymes with….

Tea + One + One = Tea + 1 Crumpet + 1 Goose Down Pillow for All the Non-Fighting Wildcats Players = Oh So Special!

3.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The Butch Jones Era at Arkansas State the last 2 seasons summed-up in a movie clip >

That Is All!

4.  David Shaw, Stanford > If you know a Damn Thing about the Game of Football you can Hear a Great Football Practice going on instead of having to See It and the Stanford alums at Coaches Hot Seat noticed something beginning in the 2018 season when they on the Stanford campus that really cranked-up in the Spring and Fall before the 2019 season that they started talking about a lot years ago now >

Stanford Football was no longer practicing Football but were instead what one Coaches Hot Seat Member described as “Glorified Tiddly-Winks!”

Well…since Stanford Football began their Glorified Tiddly-Winks Horseshit their Head Coach David Shaw has posted a record the last 4 seasons of…

14 – 25

As you can see this is very similar to the Win/Loss Record of Pretty Boy Patty Boy Fitzgerald at Northwestern and the Common Theme with both programs >

Their Asses Quit Practicing Football but instead…you got it…just been doing Glorified Tiddly Winks = Total Horseshit!

When your ass practices like Total Candy Asses guess what your ass gonna play like?

Total Damn Candy Asses and the Biggest Candy Asses in America today >

The Stanford Non-Damn Football Team!

It’s Shameful but David Shaw has No Shame, No Pride, Not One Damn Thing beyond…

Total Damn Arrogance that his Ass is God Almighty on Earth and anyone that would dare disagree with him is a Worthless Shit!

Sorry David….Your Damn Idiocy has Totally Destroyed Stanford Football!

Be Proud…Be Damn Proud of the Damn Losers you have created with Damn Idiocy!

Stanford is now 3 – 6 on the season after getting Totally Destroyed by 4 – 4 Washington State team at home on The Farm and the Candy Asses have left >

At Utah = Will Totally Destroy Stanford

At Cal = Who knows in what should be known as the Total Candy Ass Game instead of the Big Game!

BYU = Will Probably Totally Destroy Stanford

5.  Justin Wilcox, California > Somehow the Cal Offense could only score 13 points on Awful Colorado just a few weeks ago and yet they scored 35 points on the USC Defense says all you gotta know about the Damn Idiocy of the Trojans Defense and with that loss to USC Justin Wilcox’s records at Cal in 6 seasons stands at >

Overall:  29 – 34

Pac-12:  16 – 30

We don’t have a clue what Cal expects out of their football program but it’s got to better than the above records…Right?

6.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > New Mexico lost at Utah State which has been reeling itself of late and that drops the Lobos record in 2022 to 2 – 7 and Danny Gonzales records at UNM to >

Overall:  7 – 21

MWC:  3 – 17

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

7.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > We are not quite sure what West Virginia expected out of Neal Brown when they hired him 4 seasons ago but it can’t be this >

Overall:  20 – 24

Big 12:  12 – 20

That 20 – 24 is a .455 Winning % and the last WVU Head Coach Dana Holgorsen posted a….

.598 Winning %

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

8.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > The Winning Percentages of the Last 5 Arizona Head Coaches >

John Mackovic = .357 = Fired
Mike Stoops = .451 = Fired
Rich Rodriguez = .551 = Fired
Kevin Sumlin = .310 = Fired

Jedd Fisch = .190

Arizona is now 3 – 6 on the 2022 season and has left to play >

At UCLA
Washington State
Arizona State

9.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College > In what has got to be the Weakest ACC Football Conference in 2022 that we have seen in a Helluva Long Time it’s really perplexing that Boston College is Weaker than most with BC sitting on a record of…

2 – 7

…in 2022 and their Head Coach Jeff Hafley now having records posted of….

Overall:  14 – 18

ACC:  8 – 16

Boston College at 2 – 7 has left this season >

At NC State
At Notre Dame
Syracuse

That looks like 2 – 10 to us and a Helluva Problem for the folks up on Chestnut Hill…a Helluva Problem!

10.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – We didn3t expect Navy to beat Cincinnati on Saturday but they kept the game close before losing 20 – 10 to drop their record to 3 – 6 on the season with these games left >

Notre Dame in Baltimore
At UCF
Army

Geez…with Kenny Boy sitting on record the last 3 seasons of…

10 – 21

…that sure looks like 2 more losses to us and then the Army game against a Very Average Army team and…

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

Coaches Hot Seat

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Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

October 31, 2022

Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 9 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1. Jeff Scott, South Florida > In Jeff Scott’s 29 th game as the Head Coach at South Florida his Bulls lost to Houston by the score of 43 – 27 and that puts Scott’s records at >

Overall > 4 – 25
AAC > 1 – 18

That is all! What more can we say exactly?

2.  Bryan Harsin, Auburn > If only Bryan Harsin called us a couple of years ago when he first heard from Auburn and asked us what we thought we told Bryan then >

If you go to Auburn you are going to get your ass run in a couple of years, but you will make a pot piss full of money so that decision is really up to you Son!

With Harsin scheduled to get something around an $18M buyout when Auburn fires him in a few weeks what can one say but >

Great Work Son!

Auburn does have an interesting game on November 12 at home on The Plains against Texas A&M and if Jimbo Fisher and the Aggies lost this game to a Head Coach all but fired already and Auburn team in disarray one of those Oil Boys in Texas have to right that check for $86M Large…Right?

3.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > In Jimbo Fisher’s 56 th game at Texas A&M the Aggies lost at home to Ole Miss and most interesting thing about the Aggies losing this game?

Not one person with a 2+ IQ was surprised the Aggies lost this game!

Let’s be honest here >

Texas A&M Football is a Damn Mess and in a Bigger Mess than even the late Dennis Franchione years which were a Helluva Big Mess and with the Aggies now at 3 – 5 on the season and these games left >

Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

If the Aggies don’t get to 6 wins Jimbo’s ass has gotta be run no matter the buyout…Right?

6 Wins is now the Standard of Excellence at Texas A&M!

“If we can only get to 6 wins everything will be A-OK!”

What A Damn Mess!

4.  Patty Boy Fitzgerald, Northwestern >The Losses keep coming for Patty Boy Fitzgerald and the Candy Ass Non-Fighting Wildcats with a loss to Iowa by the score of 33 – 13 on Saturday and you gotta wonder this about Ole Patty Boy >

Do you take 2 lumps of sugar with your high tea or just one Patty Boy?

We are thinking Ole Patty Boy take 4 lumps of sugar in his high tea and he takes his high tea sitting on a big pile of goose down feather pillows!

Ole Patty Boy and the Candy Ass Non-Fighting Wildcats are now 1 – 7 and have left to play this season >

Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Got 1 – 11 Patty Boy?

Your Candy Ass is about to have it Son!

5.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > We don’t have Any Damn Idea why Arkansas State hired Butch Jones 2 years ago save a Fat Boy in Memphis convinced these Damn Morons in Jonesboro it would be a good idea and anyone listening to the Fat Boy in Memphis on who to hire as your next Head Football Coach >

Way beyond a Damn Moron and not qualified to run a lemonade stand which about 95% of ADs in America right now!

Butch Jones records in 2 seasons at Arkansas State >

Overall > 4 – 17

Sun Belt > 2 – 12

That is all and what in Hell more could we say exactly?

Well Arkansas State has left in 2022 >

UMass
At Texas State
Troy

Hell Arkansas State should win at least 2 of these remaining 3 games…Right?

6. David Shaw, Stanford > A couple of Coaches Hot Seat Members were in Los Angeles last week on business and decided to hang around for the Stanford at UCLA football game at the Rose Bowl and both being Stanford alums we were interested to hear their report from the game and here it is and this is of course their humble opinions >

“It was beyond disgraceful how UCLA, F-ing UCLA, pushed around Stanford the entire game and sitting behind the Cardinal bench as soon as it became clear the game was over the Stanford players could have really cared less about playing in the game or even paying attention on the sideline. David Shaw has long ago lost this team and entire Stanford football program and all because he fully embraced Candy Ass Football based upon absolute Horseshit being fed to him by Worthless Academics at Stanford that wouldn’t know how to play in a football game or coach a football team on the best day of their lives. Stanford Football is now Weaker, Most Disorganized, Less Caring, and More Pitiful than it was before Jim Harbaugh arrived on The Farm and we cannot understand how David Shaw can look at himself in the mirror and take a penny from Stanford since he is a Total Disgrace to the Athletic Department and the University as a whole and if he was failing like this anywhere else on the Stanford campus his ass would have been fired long ago!”

Can we get an Amen! Make that a Zillion Amens!

The Truth is the UCLA Powder Blue Bruins just flat-out whipped Stanford on Saturday night because David Shaw is a Candy Ass that hasn’t coached football in 3 years now and will if allowed turn Stanford Football into a collection of the Biggest Damn Candy Asses on the face of the Earth!

Hell Stanford Football is already that > The Biggest Damn Candy Asses on the face of the Earth!

It’s just a Damn Disgrace to not only Stanford University but to America and to the game of football in America because this isn’t football being played at Stanford and if Bill Walsh was alive today he would throttle Shaw’s Candy Ass right off The Farm in a Damn Nanosecond!

In our humble opinion that is!

Stanford is now 3 – 5 with games left against >

Washington State
At Utah
At Cal
BYU

Who knows on Washington State, at Utah is gonna be a Loss, and the Big Game will be a Hot Seat vs Hot Seat Coaches Game with Cal Football being a Damn Disaster as well and BYU is being turned into a bunch of Damn Candy Asses by Kalani Sitake so maybe Stanford will have a chance in that game if the Cougars keep moving towards Total Candy Ass!

7.  Justin Wilcox, California > In 6 seasons at California Justin Wilcox is sitting on 2 Winning Seasons and records of >

Overall > 29 – 33

Pac-12 > 16 – 29

Pitiful is a word that comes to mind and after the loss to Oregon on Saturday the Cal Bears are now 3 – 5 on the season with games left against >

At USC
At Oregon State
Stanford
UCLA

Maybe 4 – 8 in his 6 th season at Cal? Maybe!

8.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > New Mexico had a bye in Week 9 so what we wrote last week on Gonzales still stands and for the record Danny’s records at UNM are >

Overall > 7 – 20

MWC > 3 – 16

Pitiful. Just Pitiful

9.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas > In 2 seasons at Texas Ole Steve Sarkisian now sitting on a record of >

10 – 10

And 5 – 3 in 2022 and the Longhorns have left in 2022 >

At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Damn, the way that Kansas State and TCU playing that looks like 2 losses and Kansas could easily be a loss and Baylor to end the season ain’t gonna be easy so Sark could again go 5 – 7 this season like last year and for the record Tom Herman who got his ass run out of Austin >

Didn’t Have ANY Losing Seasons at Texas!

We would recommend Sark find a way to get to 6 Wins in 2022!

Just Saying!

10.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > Ole Jedd a nice enough of a guy and he’s working hard to get things going at Arizona but in 2 seasons in Tucson Jedd’s records now stand at >

Overall > 4 – 16

Pac-12 > 2 – 12

After the loss to USC the Wildcats now at 3 – 5 on the season and have left in 2022 >

At Utah
At UCLA
Washington State
Arizona State

Maybe if the Wildcats can win 2 their last 4 games that would be an improvement….Hell it would be an improvement so get off your ass and get it done Son!

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Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

October 24, 2022

Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

Thanks Johnny

Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida > South Florida had a bye in Week 8 and Jeff Scott’s records at USF still at >

Overall:  4 – 24
AAC:  1 – 17

The Bulls have left in 2022 >

At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

Now a Coach in his THIRD season at South Florida should do No Damn Worse than >

3 – 2

In the above games!

What will Scott and the Bulls do?

Let’s find out!

2.  Bryan Harsin, Auburn > The word we have heard out of Auburn and on a couple of sports talk shows in Alabama is that >

There is no Adequate Coach on the Auburn Staff to be the Interim Auburn Head Coach if Harsin was fired so Harsin is still the Head Coach of the Auburn Tigers!

The 3 – 4 Auburn Tigers have left in 2022 >

Arkansas
At Mississippi State
Texas A&M
Western Kentucky
At Alabama

Auburn can win a couple of those games at least if the team plays hard!

Let’s find out!

Don’t want to jinx anyone but the word we are getting out of Auburn is that the Big $$$ Boys around Auburn are debating between below Coaches for their next Head Coach at Auburn >

Jamey Chadwell
Kevin Steele
Hugh Freeze

Our guess on October 24 who the next Head Coach at Auburn will be >

Hugh Freeze

3.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > The very first time that a Member of Coaches Hot Seat talked to and met Jimbo Fisher he was the Quarterback at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama, actually Homewood, Alabama just South of Birmingham, playing for then Samford Head Coach Terry Bowden.

We don’t have any ill will against Jimbo and actually understand both where Jimbo came from, how he worked his ass for Nick Saban and Bobby Bowden and fought his way up to the top of the College Football Coaching World, and what has happened with Jimbo since the Jameis Winston days at Florida State and now to Texas A&M.

Very simply we know what drives Jimbo and what has gone wrong with Jimbo and in a lot of ways for lots of different reasons Jimbo has lost his way the last few years at Texas A&M and has mainly lost sight of what College Football and Coaching are all about and this Aggies team now reflects a Head Coach that is lost and honestly needs a break from the game for at least a year or two and Jimbo probably knows this better than anyone else!

In Year 5 at Texas A&M for Jimbo Fisher, when the Aggies should be a Rolling War Machine of a Football Program, they just lost to an Average South Carolina team with still a Green and Young Head Coach in Shane Beamer who is showing Great Promise like his Legendary Daddy Frank but really now >

There’s no reason that the Aggies didn’t roll in and Totally Dominate South Carolina in Jimbo Fisher’s 55 th game as the Head coach at Texas A&M!

Now at 3 – 4 on the season the Aggies have left >

Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

4 games left at Kyle Field and the Aggies should win all 4 and really should beat Auburn as well to finish at 8 – 4 on the season but if A&M loses to Ole Miss this coming Saturday they probably will only beat UMass!

The sad thing is if this does collapse the A&M folks gonna have to pay around $100M to fire Jimbo Fisher and his staff then commit to another $50M to hire the Next Head Coach of the Aggies and does anyone with a 2+ IQ have Any Damn Confidence that Anyone at or around Texas A&M has 1 Damn Clue what they are doing?

NOPE!

4.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The Total Candy Ass Non-Fighting Baby Cats of Patty Boy Fitzgerald Fame lost another game on Saturday and now that’s a record the last 2 seasons for Patty Boy of >

4 – 15

The Real Lesson Here >

When your ass goes Total Candy Ass when your ass supposed to be Coaching Football expect to Lose A Helluva Lot of Football Games and Northwestern went Total Candy Ass 2 years ago under Patty Boy!

The Total Candy Ass Non-Fighting Baby Cats of Patty Boy now at 1 – 6 on the season have left in 2022 >

At Iowa
Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Got 1 – 11 Patty Boy?

We will be Happy to fly over to Evanston Patty Boy and hold some Real Football Practices and Toughen Up Your Boys Son if you like Patty Boy but we gonna practice them like we do our Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Practices playing Real Football now so No Damn Crying if any of them get a Boo-Boo or two!

5.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy > With the loss to Houston at home on Saturday Navy Head Coach Kenny Boy’s record since he went Total Candy Ass in Annapolis after the 2019 season is >

9 – 20

Hello!

When your ass goes Total Candy Ass >

See Northwestern and Stanford

Your Ass is going to Lose A Helluva Lot of Football Games!

2 – 5 Navy has left in 2022 >

Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Got 3 – 9 Kenny Boy?

We got 15+ US Navy Combat Vets at Coaches Hot Seat Kenny Boy and the Navy Football Team is very simply >

A Total Embarrassment to the United States Navy!

Shameful! Just Damn Shameful!

6.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > With the loss to Louisiana on Saturday, which drops the Red Wolves record in 2022 to 2 – 6, Butch Jones records at Arkansas State in 2 seasons on the job are now >

Overall 4 – 16
Sun Belt 2 – 11

That’s all we have to say and it’s plenty!

7.  Mario Cristobal, Miami > Mario Cristobal took over a Miami team that went 7 – 5 in 2021 and beat Duke 47 – 10 in their last game and got their Head Coach run out of Miami and what has Mario done in Year 1 on the job with the Canes?

Try now at 3 – 4 on the season and just got blasted at home by Duke with a First Year Head Coach and heading towards a Losing Season when Bozo the Clown could have coached the Hurricanes Drunk from a Motel 6 in Sebring, Florida and won 7 games easy!

We had a couple of Members of Coaches Hot Seat up in Eugene this past weekend for the UCLA vs Oregon game and they were talking to “X Person closely associated with Oregon Athletics” and this “X Person” said >

“Greatest thing ever happened to Oregon Football was Mario taking the Miami job!”

Oh?

The 3 – 4 Canes have left in 2022 >

At Virginia
Florida State
At Georgia Tech
At Clemson
Pitt

Hell the Canes are not going to win 6 games in 2022!

Mario gonna get his ass run right out of Miami after Year 1?

Maybe!

8.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > We don’t have a Damn Clue why Danny Gonzales has been a Total Disaster at New Mexico but very simply >

Danny Gonzales has been a Total Disaster at New Mexico!

Just the Facts as Joe Friday used to say >

Overall 7 – 20
MWC 3 – 16

Just A Total Damn Disaster!

9.  Steve Sarkisan, Texas > A few of us first met Sark when he was on Pete Carroll’s staff at USC and love Steve but we like our Fathers and All Good Fathers are >

Hardest on those we love because we know their asses can do better!

In 2 seasons at Texas Sark is now >

10 – 10

Lest we remind folks that Tom Herman was fired at Texas for going >

7 – 6
10 – 4
8 – 5
7 – 3

Sark is now >

5 – 7
5 – 3

Longhorns have left in 2022 >

At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Hell Texas could easily go 5 – 7 again this year and if that happens >

10.  Brent Venables, Oklahoma > Brent Venables in Year 1 at Oklahoma is 4 – 3 and has left on the schedule >

At Iowa State
Baylor
At West Virginia
Oklahoma State
At Texas Tech

Oh Geez the Sooners might not get 6 wins in 2022 and if not then >

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Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

October 17, 2022

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 7 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – The Hits or rather the Losses keep coming for Jeff Scott at South Florida who after the Bulls loss to Tulane on Saturday is sitting on records of >

Overall:  4 – 24
AAC:  1 – 17

That’s No Damn Good where we come from or where anyone comes from and with what the Bulls got left to play in 2022 >

At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

We see maybe 1 more win in 2022 and with that let’s bring in Dandy Don!

2.  Bryan Harsin, Auburn – It’s not that Dandy Don is singing for Bryan Harsin at Auburn but that Dandy Don sang a long time ago and has already left town to head to the next Monday Night Football game and that was weeks ago now!

With the Auburn loss to Ole Miss on Saturday the Tigers are now 3 – 4 on the season and have left to play >

Arkansas
At Mississippi State
Texas A&M
Western Kentucky
At Alabama

Hell Harsin and the Tigers could get a couple of wins down the stretch here and if they beat the Aggies on The Plains on November 12 that will for sure end Jimbo Fisher’s time in Aggieland so Hell there’s something to play for here!

3.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – Talk about a BIG Football Game that means Nothing Damn At All in the Big Picture but means a Helluva Lot to both Head Coaches and you got the >

Texas A&M at South Carolina game this coming Saturday!

If the Aggies lose in this spot to fall to 3 – 4 on the season with these games left >

Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

The Aggies might not get 6 wins in 2022 and even if they did >

Cue Dandy Don on the Jimbo Fisher at Texas A&M!

Don’t lose this game Jimbo but Hell if Jimbo does lose and the Aggies $$$ Boys and Girls had to run Jimbo they will owe him >

$86 Million Large!

Oh here’s Jimbo Fisher’s Buyouts after the coming seasons courtesy of the folks at CBS Sports >

2022: $85,950,000

2023: $76,800,000

2024: $67,550,000

2025: $58,200,000

2026: $48,750,000

2027: $39,200,000

2028: $29,550,000

2029: $19,800,000

2030: $9,950,000

With No Offsets!

Whoever negotiated Jimbo Fisher’s contract on behalf of Texas A&M or anyone that signed off on it that works in or around Texas A&M >

Is not qualified to run a lemonade stand!

4.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – No doubt the Biggest Candy Ass in the Midwest >

Patrick William Fitzgerald

Got in Lots of Tea Parties and Pillow Fights in during the Northwestern Non-Fighting Wildcats bye week and now it’s back to Pillow Fight Football for these 1 – 5 Cats who have left in 2022 >

At Maryland
At Iowa
Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Will the Candy Ass Non-Fighting Wildcats win another game in 2022?

Not Damn Candy Ass Likely!

Anyone wants to find these Candy Ass Northwestern Cats we recommend checking out the Patisserie Coralie French Bakery + Coffee Shop in downtown Evanston where these Non-Fighting Cats can get High Tea and All the Crumpets they want from hopefully an NIL Deal that Candy Ass Patty Boy has put together for his Cats who will need plenty of Crumpets with all the Ass Kickings coming their way!

5.  Marcus Freeman, Notre Dame – Coming into the Notre Dame game the Stanford Defense had given up points wise in 2022 against the 4 FBS Teams they played >

USC – 41 Points
Washington – 40 Points
Oregon – 45 Points
Oregon State – 28 Points

And the Irish scored >

14 Points on the Stanford Defense?

Got Marcus Freeman doesn’t have a Damn Clue what he is doing and is about to get his ass run right out of South Bend?

With the Disastrous Loss to Stanford the Irish are now 3 – 3 with these games left >

UNLV
At Syracuse
Clemson
Navy
Boston College
At USC

Hell the Irish might not get to 6 wins in 2022 and if that happens Notre Dame will have a New Head Coach in 2023 because Bozo the Clown coulda won 8 Games coaching this Irish team drunk from a Motel 6 just on the outskirts of South Bend!

6.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Navy lost at SMU with a first year head coach on Friday night to drop to 2 – 4 on the season and Kenny Boy and the Non-Fighting Sailors at Navy have left on their 2022 schedule games against >

Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Geez….a normal Navy team win 4 of these games minimum but will this Navy team even win 2?

Who the Hell knows and that’s the Damn Problem here!   

7.  David Shaw, Stanford – David Shaw and the Stanford Cardinal got just what they needed on Saturday >

A Notre Dame Football Team that isn’t really a Football Team but just a collection of Worthless Prima Donnas who love Prancing around and acting like Football Players but reality is the Notre Dame Chess Club could whip the Hell out of the Stanford and Notre Dame teams and make em both like it!

Stanford is now 2 – 4 on the season with wins over Colgate and Notre Dame = 2 Worthless Prancing Candy Ass Teams and the Cardinal has left in 2022 >

Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Will Stanford even get to 4 wins in 2022?

Who the Hell knows and does anyone really care?

Not really since all of the Passion, Fire, and just Simple Human Decency has been driven out of this Stanford Football Team by David Shaw and his Coaches who easily hold the >

Most Disgraceful Non-Football Practices in America!

8.  Will Healy, Charlotte – With the loss to UAB on Saturday Charlotte Head Coach Will Healy’s records now stand at >

Overall: 15 – 23
CUSA: 10 – 13

Not Good Son

Not Good At All

Charlotte now at 1 – 6 has left in 2022 >

FIU
At Rice
Western Kentucky
At Middle Tennessee
La. Tech

Geez…Charlotte will be lucky to get 3 Wins this season!

9.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – With the loss at Southern Miss on Saturday Butch Jones records at Arkansas State now stand at >

Overall:  4 – 15
Sun Belt:  2 – 10

The folks, fans, alums, and administration at Arkansas State take their football seriously and they will run your ass with those kinds of records and with ASU now at 2 – 5 on the 2022 season with these games left >

At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
At Texas State
Troy

We recommend Butch Jones win 4 of these last 5 games or cue Dandy Don!

10.  Brent Venables, Oklahoma – It was nice to see Oklahoma actually show up and play football on Saturday against Kansas and now it will be fascinating to see if the 4 – 3 Sooners can keep this going with these games left where OU has a Better or at worst Equal roster against all the remaining teams on their schedule >

At Iowa State
Baylor
At West Virginia
Oklahoma State
At Texas Tech

The Sooners SHOULD Win at least 3 of their remaining 5 games but will they even win 2 of them?

Let’s Find Out and if the Sooners don’t get 6 Wins in 2022 = Total Freaking Disaster!

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Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give these Coaches on the Hot Seat Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash

October 5, 2022

Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give these Coaches on the Hot Seat Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash

Post Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – In 3 seasons at South Florida Head Coach Jeff Scott now has 4 wins and his lone win in the 2022 season is against Howard and only one of his wins is against an American Athletic Conference foe so that all ain’t good and look at what the Bulls have left in 2022

At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

Will the Bulls win another game this season?

Not likely!

Instead of Jeff Scott asking for “Patience” how about this

Coach Your Damn Football Team Son!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford – The Worthless Candy Ass Tour by the Stanford Cardinal football team continues on under David Shaw with David not having a

Damn Clue of his Total Destruction of Stanford Football

not that Stanford plays the Game of Football anymore since they long ago gave up that game on The Farm!

In the last 4 seasons since David Shaw went Total Damn Pitiful Candy Ass his record is

12 – 22

and the Hits will keep coming because we have little doubt

David Shaw would take down Stanford Football and Stanford University on this

Cross of Idiot Candy Assness

and Laugh, Laugh, Laugh because in our humble opinion

David doesn’t give a Damn about anything but his own Damn Candy Ass!

Be Damn Proud David because few have Destroyed So Much with So Much Total Damn Candy Ass Idiocy!

The Cardinal is now 1 – 3 and has left in 2022

Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At Cal
BYU

Will Stanford win another game this season?

Maybe Not and that says everything about these Worthless Candy Asses on The Farm who are Total Disgrace to Everything that Stanford University claims to stand for or claims to stand for!

3.  Brent Venables, Oklahoma – After seeing Oklahoma get Totally Destroyed by TCU we are not sure what Brent Venables and the Sooners Coaches been doing the last 9 months but your asses either

Haven’t been doing much at all or your asses doing everything wrong Son!

Memo to Brent Venables: Football is a physical game Son and you unless you want to go the same way as David Shaw at Stanford = Worthless Candy Ass Losers you better start hitting in practice because the Game of Football

You actually hit, tackle, and whip other people to Win Football Games!

Oklahoma is now 3 – 2 on the season and has left

Texas
Kansas
At Iowa State
Baylor
At West Virginia
Oklahoma State
At Texas Tech

and this Whole Enchilada could go down and quick if Venables doesn’t right the ship soon starting with a Win over Texas on Saturday!

4.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The Rising Candy Ass of the Midwest is Northwestern Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald who has the Softest Team in Any Sport in the Midwestern United States and before this is over Pat may takedown the Wildcats so much they won’t be able to make a splash jumping into Lake Michigan, they will just slide into the Lake softly, like the Total Candy Asses they are now!

The 1 – 4 Wildcats with a lone win over Pitiful Nebraska have left in 2022

Wisconsin
At Maryland
At Iowa
Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Will Candy Ass Pat and his Candy Ass Cats win another game in 2022?

Not Likely!

Memo to Pat Fitzgerald: Football is a CONTACT SPORT Son so maybe at practice today you can end the Pillow Fights and actually hold a Real Football Practice? Maybe Son?

The Lesson Here for ADs > Don’t Let Total Candy Asses Destroy Your Football Program with Candy Ass Damn Idiocy and at the first Hint of Candy Ass = Fire Their Candy Ass!

5.  Tim Albin, Ohio – With the loss to Kent State on Saturday Tim Albin’s records at Ohio in 2 seasons now sit at

Overall:  5 – 12
MAC:  3 – 6

and the Bobcats have left in 2022:

Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (OH)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

Maybe Ohio will get 4 wins in 2022. Maybe!

6.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Navy played better against Air Force before losing by the score of 13 – 10 and now Kenny’s record the last 3 seasons since he went Total Damn Candy Ass with Navy Football is sitting at

8 – 18

and it may be too late for Kenny Boy to turn this thing about because just like at Stanford and Northwestern and it looks like Oklahoma when you go

Total Damn Candy Ass

it’s really hard to suddenly start playing the Game of Football again!

Navy now at 1 – 3 has left in 2022

Tulsa
At SMU
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

A Normal Navy Football Team actually playing the Game of Football would win at least HALF the above games but these Candy Ass Midshipman

Might win 3. Maybe!

7.  Bryan Harsin, Auburn – As we said when Bryan Harsin was hired at Auburn there was No Damn Reason for Auburn to hire Harsin or for Harsin to take the Auburn job but folks who don’t know Jack about Auburn for the Game of Football in America will do all kinds of Damn Idiocy and here we sit with

Damn Idiocy going on with Bryan Harsin at Auburn!

It’s almost like these folks at do things like hire Bryan Harsin at Auburn just landed from Mars and don’t have a Damn Clue about where they work of the Game of College Football in America! Why is that exactly when they are paid Millions of Dollars to actually know what the Hell they are doing?

Harsin is now 9 – 9 in his second season at Auburn and 3 – 2 on the 2022 season and the Tigers have left this season

At Georgia
At Ole Miss
Arkansas
At Mississippi State
Texas A&M
Western Kentucky
At Alabama

Auburn can win 2 or 3 more games in 2022, maybe even 4 more games, but none of that gonna save Harsin’s job and when they send Harsin packing the folks at Auburn will hire

Another Head Coach who doesn’t fit the Auburn Culture which they have not had since Pat Dye was the Head Coach of the Tigers so No Doubt More Damn Idiocy ahead on The Plains!

8.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – Ole Jimbo has just Totally Lost the Plot in Aggieland and this Whole Enchilada is very close to going over the edge from which there will be No Return!

Through 53 games at Texas A&M guess what were/are both Kevin Sumlin and Jimbo Fisher’s records?

37 – 16

Yep, both Sumlin and Fisher had the same records after 53 games and the Aggies folks were pushing to Run Sumlin’s ass out of Aggieland and if they aren’t now doing the same with Jimbo what exactly is going on in Aggieland now?

The Aggies in 2022 are now at 3 – 2 and have left this season

At Alabama
At South Carolina
Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

Geez, will the Aggies even get 6 wins this season? Probably Not!

9.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – Since we now know that Oklahoma couldn’t whip a Wet Paper Bag this Saturday’s game against the Sooners is a MUST WIN for Sarkisian and the Longhorns because lose in this spot with these game left

Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Ole Sarkisian might not get 6 wins in 2022 and that would nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster and Sark’s ass getting run right out of Austin right after Thanksgiving!

10.  Scott Satterfield, Louisville – With the loss to Boston College on Saturday Scott Satterfield’s records at Louisville now stand at

Overall:  20 – 22
ACC:  12 – 17

and either this thing will turn around soon or there will be a New Head Coach of the Cardinals in 2022!

Louisville is now 2 – 3 on the season and have left

At Virginia
Pitt
Wake Forest
James Madison
At Clemson
NC State
At Kentucky

Damn that’s a Tough slate of games and it ain’t gonna be easy for Louisville to get to 6 Wins in 2022 and no way Satterfield can survive 3 straight losing seasons.

Just No Way!

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Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

September 28, 2022

The 2022 College Football Season is chaotic as ever and rolling along nicely now with 3 Head Coaches already shown the door and many more to come…many, many, many more!

We were told by a Birdie to hold off on the Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings analysis for a few days since another shoe almost dropped after Geoff Collins got run at Georgia Tech at another school to not be named here but that shoe is still hanging…for at least another week or so!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – Things keep on rolling along for Jeff Scott at South Florida and not in a good way with a 41 – 3 loss to Louisville who also has a Head Coach on the Hot Seat in Scott Satterfield and now the 1 – 3 Bulls have East Carolina coming to town in a

Must Win Game for Jeff Scott!

Lose in this spot with these games left

At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

the Bulls might not win another game in 2022!

Dandy Don is just off stage….Stage Left!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford – We had a very unique occurrence last week in that a few of us were in Palo Alto and in tow with us was a guy that played football for Paul “Bear” Bryant at Alabama in the 1970s so we brought him along to watch a portion of a Stanford football practice as the Cardinal got ready for Washington and here was his comment over dinner at Jeffrey’s Hamburgers after watching that practice >

“Just what in the Hell was that because that ain’t football?”

Can we get an Amen? Make that 12 Amens which is the Number that Paul Bryant wore at Alabama!

We are not sure what David Shaw thinks he has doing with Stanford Fooball over the last few years but if his goal is to

Totally Destroy Stanford Football he is Achieving His Goal!

Stanford now at 1 – 2 after getting Totally Destroyed by Washington, which has a first year Head Coach by the way and was in total chaos when he got to Seattle, the Cardinal has left in 2022

At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Our guess….Stanford wins 1 or 2 more games, maybe 3 more games, to finish at 4 – 8 on the season at best and if you watch Stanford Football practice guess what they look and practice like?

A 4 win football team at best!

Beyond Damn Pitiful!

3.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – Only that happened to Colorado Football on Saturday was UCLA came into Boulder and whipped the Buffs 45 – 17 and made it look very easy indeed and Karl Dorrell’s records at CU now stand at

Overall:  8 – 14
Pac-12:  6 – 8

The Buffs now at 0 – 4 have left in 2022

At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

Don’t think the Buffs gonna win a game in Dorrell’s 3 rd year in Boulder!

4.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – With the loss to Old Dominion on Saturday to drop Arkansas State record to 1 – 3 in 2022 Butch Jones in Year 2 at ASU’s records now stand at

Overall:  3 – 13
Sun Belt:  1 – 8

With these games left

La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
At Texas State
Troy

The Red Wolves gonna have a tough time getting to 6 wins in Butch Jones 2 nd year at ASU and they will run your ass Jonesboro for that kind of record, even in Year 2!

5.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The same disease that is now inflicting Stanford Football

Total Powder Puff Candy Ass Syndrome

has taken over the Northwestern Football program as well with Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald turning the Wildcats into the

Biggest Candy Asses East of the Mississippi River

and to what end we don’t know exactly why but back-to-back losses to Southern Illinois and Miami of Ohio has Northwestern looking a lot like Stanford >

Such Big Candy Asses that the Northwestern Chess Club could whip the Wildcats and make em like it!

Now at 1 – 3 on the season with a lone win over Nebraska which Every Grandma Knitting Club in America could whip like a red-headed stepchild and make em like it the Wildcats have left in 2022

At Penn State
Wisconsin
At Maryland
At Iowa
Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Will the Softer than the Pillsbury Dough Boy Wildcats win another game in 2022?

Is the Pillsbury Dough Boy Soft as Hell?

Yep the Wildcats lone win in 2022 will be over a team that the Over 50 Years Old Only Ladies Coffee Klatch Club of Evanston could whip and make em like it = Nebraska!

Be Proud Pat Fitzgerald!

We didn’t think it was possible to field a team SOFTER than Stanford but you have done it and that’s something Son!

6.  Tim Albin, Ohio – Ole Tim Albin took over a pretty good Ohio Football Program from Frank Solich and has posted record of

Overall:  5 – 11
MAC:  3 – 5

and now at 2 – 2 on the 2022 season after a Big Big Win over Fordham on Saturday the Bobcats have left in 2022

At Kent State
Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (OH)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

After going 3 – 9 in Year 1 at Ohio we would recommend that Tim Albin find a way to get to 6 wins in 2022 or it’s Dandy Don time!

7.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – With the loss to Texas Tech which no Texas team should EVER lose to Steve Sarkisian records at Texas now stand at

Overall:  7 – 9
Big 12:  3 – 7

and if this kind of losing continues then Arch Manning, if he decided ultimately to attend Texas, will be playing for a new Head Coach in 2023 in Austin!

The Longhorns are now 2 – 2 on the season and have left in 2022

West Virginia
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Can the Horns win 4 of their remaining 8 games?

Maybe or Maybe Not but consider this

Tom Herman got his ass run at Texas posting records of

7 – 6
10 – 4
8 – 5
7 – 3

Does anyone think Steve Sarkisian could survive posting 2 losing seasons in his first 2 years at Texas?

Not A Chance In Hell!

8.  Mike Bloomgren, Rice – In 4 seasons at Rice Mike Bloomgren has posted records of

Overall:  13 – 33
CUSA:  9 – 20

and sooner or later someone in Houston is gonna say >

That ain’t very good Son!

With the loss to Houston and now 2 – 2 on the season Rice has left in 2022

UAB
At FAU
At La. Tech
Charlotte
UTEP
At Western Kentucky
UTSA
At North Texas

We would recommend that Mike Bloomgren win the next 2 Very Damn Winnable Games or you can turn out the lights in Houston for Ole Mike!

9.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – In a miracle of sorts Navy was able to best East Carolina in double overtime on Saturday to get their first win of the season and now the 1 – 2 Sailors at the US Naval Academy have left in 2022

At Air Force
Tulsa
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Geez…will Navy win more than 3 games in 2022?

Not Likely!

10.  Scot Loeffler, Bowling Green – In 4 seasons at Bowling Green Scot Loeffler’s records now stand at

Overall:  8 – 24
MAC:  4 – 7

Enough said on Scot Loeffler at Bowling Green!

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Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

September 19, 2022

The College Football Season is Really Roaring now as we moved right through Week 3 like a knife through warm butter and that’s the nature of life when you get past 50 years old

It just goes Rip Roaring along so make Damn sure you living Every Damn Day!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Before we get to the Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking a word or two on the firing of Herm Edwards at Arizona State

Ole Herm is a Great Guy but come on now

Why was Herm Edwards ever hired at Arizona State?

When you find the answer to the above question please let us know…would you now?

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – Jeff Scott and this USF Bulls almost got a win over the Florida Gators in The Swamp who played like they were hardly coached at all Billy Napier and with another loss Scott’s records at USF now stand at

Overall:  4 – 20
AAC:  1 – 14

Now the Bulls have left

At Louisville
East Carolina
At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

Geez…maybe the Bulls can win 2 or 3 of those games…if they play better than they played against Florida that is!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford – There’s just no explaining Stanford Head Coach David Shaw deciding to turn the Cardinal Football Program from one of the

Toughest Programs in College Football to the Biggest Bunch of Pillow Fight Loving Candy Asses in America

but David has done it and now there really is no longer a Football Program on the Stanford campus and there’s little doubt the

Stanford Chess Club could Whip the Hell out of the Stanford Football Team and…Make Them Like It!

Over the last 4 seasons David Shaw’s record now stands at

12 – 20

and most of those 12 Wins over Sub-.500 teams and now the 1 – 1 Cardinal gets a trip to Husky Stadium in Seattle who are coached by new Head Coach Kalen DeBoer and talk about an Ass Kicking…

The Cardinal are about to….Get Their Asses Kicked by Washington = A Real Football Team!

What’s left for Stanford >

At Washington
At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Probably 3 – 9….Maybe 4 – 8 for Stanford in 2022 and it would take Major Miracle for the Cardinal to get 6 wins which is

Just A Total Damn Disgrace on Every Level Imaginable!

3.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – Karl Dorrell’s Buffs got their asses handed to them on Saturday by Minnesota by the score of

49 – 7

which drops Colorado’s 2022 record to 0 – 3 with games still left against

UCLA
At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

Now in his 3 rd season at Colorado Karl Dorrell should win 7+ games with the above schedule but reality is

The Buffs might not win a game in 2022!

4.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Navy had Week 3 off and Thank Goodness for that because the Midshipmen no doubt needed to have lots of Pillow Fights and High Tea to get ready for the rest of the 2022 season and 0 – 2 Navy has left under Kenny Boy games against

At East Carolina
At Air Force
Tulsa
At SMU
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Will Navy win even 1 game in 2022?

Probably Not!

Back to the Pillow Fights Boys and don’t forget High Team you Damn Candy Asses!

Signed,
15+ US Navy Combat Vets at Coaches Hot Seat Totally Ashamed of what Navy Football has become!

5.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – We didn’t give Arkansas State much chance to win at Memphis on Saturday but they kinda made it a game and with that loss the Red Wolves are now 1 – 2 on the season and Butch Jones records at Arkansas State now stand at

Overall:  3 – 12

Sun Belt:  1 – 7

Arkansas State has left in 2022

At Old Dominion
La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
At Texas State
Troy

There’s a few winnable games left on the Arkansas State schedule but will they get to 6 wins in 2022?

Not A Damn Chance in Hell or Highwater or even Low Water!

6.  Geoff Collins,. Georgia Tech – Getting whipped 42 – 0 by Ole Miss isn’t a recommendation when you looking to hang onto a job but Geoff Collins Georgia Tech team did get whipped by the Rebels 42 – 0 and Collins records in 4 seasons at Tech now stand at

Overall:  10 – 27

ACC:  7 – 19

The Yellowjackets have left in 2022

At UCF
At Pitt
Duke
Virginia
At Florida State
At Virginia Tech
Miami
At North Carolina
At Georgia

Turn out the Lights

7.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – We finally found an offense more inept than Jimbo Fisher’s Aggies offense

The Miami Offense = What A Total Disaster It Is Mario!

and luckily for Jimbo Ole Mario Cristobal has his hands in the Canes offense just like he did at Oregon which F-Up the Ducks offense totally and it looks like that’s continuing in Miami!

Back to Jimbo who got a Total Gift from the Canes on Saturday to move the Aggies record to 2 – 1 on the season with these games left

Arkansas in Dallas
At Mississippi State
At Alabama
At South Carolina
Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

Geez…the Aggies loses to the Razorbacks on Sunday they might not win another game until they host UMass on November 19!

Our guess is the Aggies win 4 or 5 of their remaining games to finish at 6 – 6 or 7 – 5 and that would be $38 Million Dollars paid to Jimbo Fisher to do something that

Bozo the Clown coulda done for $100K a year = $500K Total!

8.  Scott Satterfield, Louisville – With the loss to Florida State on Saturday to drop the Louisville record to 1 – 2 on the season that leaves Satterfield’s record at Louisville now at

Overall:  19 – 21

ACC:  12 – 16

That’s Pitiful…Damn Pitiful and Louisville has left in 2022

South Florida
At Boston College
Virginia
Pitt
Wake Forest
James Madison
At Clemson
NC State
At Kentucky

Maybe Louisville can get to 6 wins in 2022 but should Satterfield’s 4 th season at Louisville be about Maybe getting to 6 wins?

Nope!

9.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – A couple of weeks ago we thought that Northwestern beating Nebraska was something but now we know

A Wet Paper Sack could be the Huskers

and now Pat Fitzgerald team loses at home in back-to-back games to

Duke
Southern Illinois

Whatever they are paying Pat Fitzgerald at Northwestern if it’s over 10 cents per game it’s way Damn too much because this is just a

Total Damn Disgrace

and couldn’t have happened to a Bigger Ass who believes his ass spun up the entire Universe when his ass hasn’t worked a day in his Pitiful Life off the Northwestern campus and he couldn’t run a lemonade stand in downtown Evanston on the best Damn day of his Damn life!

If you are going to be a Total Damn Arrogant Ass Patty Boy

Win some Damn Football Games Son and don’t lose…wait for it…to

Southern Illinois at home Son!

10.  Tim Albin, Ohio – Since taking over a Pretty, Pretty Good football program from Frank Solich at Ohio Ole Tim Albin has now posted records of

Overall:  4 – 11

MAC:  3 – 5

and now at 1 – 2 on the year the Bobcats have left in 2022

Fordham
At Kent State
Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (Ohio)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

What…3 or 4 more wins tops for Ohio in 2022?

Whatever…it ain’t good!

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Post Week Zero Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give Em Hell Johnny!

August 29, 2022

Week Zero came and went without any changes to the Preseason Coaches Hot Seat Rankings with 6 Head Coaches playing games…

Scott Frost, Nebraska – Loss

Marcus Arroyo, UNLV – Win

Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – Win

Clark Lea, Vanderbilt – Win

Mike Norvell, Florida State – Win

Willie Taggart, FAU – Win

….and although we did consider for a bit moving Clark Lea down a bit in the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings with Vandy’s big win over Hawaii in Honolulu…we thought better of it realizing the Rainbow Warriors will be lucky to win 4 games in 2022 under new Head Coach Timmy Chang!

Post Week Zero Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give Scott Frost and rest these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

The only Head Coach we care to comment on after Week Zero and a Coach we have written a Helluva Lot about here at Coaches Hot Seat the last few years is…

#1 Hot Seat Coach by a Good Country Mile —-> Scott Frost, Nebraska

Geez Scott…how in the Hell Son can you be in the 5 th season of coaching Nebraska and your football team is…

Out of Shape and Getting Its Ass Whipped in the 4 th Quarter by….wait for it…Northwestern…in the First Damn Game of the season?

It’s hard to know what exactly is going on at Nebraska under Scott Frost but we hear things from our buddies who live in Nebraska who hear things out of Lincoln and one of the things we heard a few weeks ago that we dismissed because it couldn’t possibly be True….

This Nebraska Football isn’t in great physical condition entering the season!

No way that’s True we said when buddy and Nebraska alum lives in Omaha told us that 2 weeks ago but alas…

It Be True!

With the loss to Northwestern to start the season at 0 – 1 the Cornhuskers have left..

North Dakota – A Pretty Good FCS team that only lost 16 – 10 to North Dakota State in 2021!

Georgia Southern
Oklahoma
Indiana
At Rutgers
At Purdue
Illinois
Minnesota
At Michigan
Wisconsin
At Iowa

Geez…Nebraska plays the way they did against Northwestern and is really out-of-shape as they looked in the 2 nd half of Saturday’s game…

The Cornhuskers will be Damn Lucky to Win 5 Games in 2022!

Well…whatever the Hell is going to happen at Nebraska is going to happen and although we would love to see Scott Frost be a Big Success with the Cornhuskers we have to face facts and the Fact is…

It’s time for Week 1 of the 2022 College Football Season!

Let’s Play Football!

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