Tag Archive: Steve Sarkisian

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

The 2022 College Football Season is chaotic as ever and rolling along nicely now with 3 Head Coaches already shown the door and many more to come…many, many, many more!

We were told by a Birdie to hold off on the Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings analysis for a few days since another shoe almost dropped after Geoff Collins got run at Georgia Tech at another school to not be named here but that shoe is still hanging…for at least another week or so!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – Things keep on rolling along for Jeff Scott at South Florida and not in a good way with a 41 – 3 loss to Louisville who also has a Head Coach on the Hot Seat in Scott Satterfield and now the 1 – 3 Bulls have East Carolina coming to town in a

Must Win Game for Jeff Scott!

Lose in this spot with these games left

At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

the Bulls might not win another game in 2022!

Dandy Don is just off stage….Stage Left!

2.  David Shaw, Stanford – We had a very unique occurrence last week in that a few of us were in Palo Alto and in tow with us was a guy that played football for Paul “Bear” Bryant at Alabama in the 1970s so we brought him along to watch a portion of a Stanford football practice as the Cardinal got ready for Washington and here was his comment over dinner at Jeffrey’s Hamburgers after watching that practice >

“Just what in the Hell was that because that ain’t football?”

Can we get an Amen? Make that 12 Amens which is the Number that Paul Bryant wore at Alabama!

We are not sure what David Shaw thinks he has doing with Stanford Fooball over the last few years but if his goal is to

Totally Destroy Stanford Football he is Achieving His Goal!

Stanford now at 1 – 2 after getting Totally Destroyed by Washington, which has a first year Head Coach by the way and was in total chaos when he got to Seattle, the Cardinal has left in 2022

At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Our guess….Stanford wins 1 or 2 more games, maybe 3 more games, to finish at 4 – 8 on the season at best and if you watch Stanford Football practice guess what they look and practice like?

A 4 win football team at best!

Beyond Damn Pitiful!

3.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – Only that happened to Colorado Football on Saturday was UCLA came into Boulder and whipped the Buffs 45 – 17 and made it look very easy indeed and Karl Dorrell’s records at CU now stand at

Overall:  8 – 14
Pac-12:  6 – 8

The Buffs now at 0 – 4 have left in 2022

At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

Don’t think the Buffs gonna win a game in Dorrell’s 3 rd year in Boulder!

4.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – With the loss to Old Dominion on Saturday to drop Arkansas State record to 1 – 3 in 2022 Butch Jones in Year 2 at ASU’s records now stand at

Overall:  3 – 13
Sun Belt:  1 – 8

With these games left

La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
At Texas State
Troy

The Red Wolves gonna have a tough time getting to 6 wins in Butch Jones 2 nd year at ASU and they will run your ass Jonesboro for that kind of record, even in Year 2!

5.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The same disease that is now inflicting Stanford Football

Total Powder Puff Candy Ass Syndrome

has taken over the Northwestern Football program as well with Head Coach Pat Fitzgerald turning the Wildcats into the

Biggest Candy Asses East of the Mississippi River

and to what end we don’t know exactly why but back-to-back losses to Southern Illinois and Miami of Ohio has Northwestern looking a lot like Stanford >

Such Big Candy Asses that the Northwestern Chess Club could whip the Wildcats and make em like it!

Now at 1 – 3 on the season with a lone win over Nebraska which Every Grandma Knitting Club in America could whip like a red-headed stepchild and make em like it the Wildcats have left in 2022

At Penn State
Wisconsin
At Maryland
At Iowa
Ohio State
At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Will the Softer than the Pillsbury Dough Boy Wildcats win another game in 2022?

Is the Pillsbury Dough Boy Soft as Hell?

Yep the Wildcats lone win in 2022 will be over a team that the Over 50 Years Old Only Ladies Coffee Klatch Club of Evanston could whip and make em like it = Nebraska!

Be Proud Pat Fitzgerald!

We didn’t think it was possible to field a team SOFTER than Stanford but you have done it and that’s something Son!

6.  Tim Albin, Ohio – Ole Tim Albin took over a pretty good Ohio Football Program from Frank Solich and has posted record of

Overall:  5 – 11
MAC:  3 – 5

and now at 2 – 2 on the 2022 season after a Big Big Win over Fordham on Saturday the Bobcats have left in 2022

At Kent State
Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (OH)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

After going 3 – 9 in Year 1 at Ohio we would recommend that Tim Albin find a way to get to 6 wins in 2022 or it’s Dandy Don time!

7.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – With the loss to Texas Tech which no Texas team should EVER lose to Steve Sarkisian records at Texas now stand at

Overall:  7 – 9
Big 12:  3 – 7

and if this kind of losing continues then Arch Manning, if he decided ultimately to attend Texas, will be playing for a new Head Coach in 2023 in Austin!

The Longhorns are now 2 – 2 on the season and have left in 2022

West Virginia
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Can the Horns win 4 of their remaining 8 games?

Maybe or Maybe Not but consider this

Tom Herman got his ass run at Texas posting records of

7 – 6
10 – 4
8 – 5
7 – 3

Does anyone think Steve Sarkisian could survive posting 2 losing seasons in his first 2 years at Texas?

Not A Chance In Hell!

8.  Mike Bloomgren, Rice – In 4 seasons at Rice Mike Bloomgren has posted records of

Overall:  13 – 33
CUSA:  9 – 20

and sooner or later someone in Houston is gonna say >

That ain’t very good Son!

With the loss to Houston and now 2 – 2 on the season Rice has left in 2022

UAB
At FAU
At La. Tech
Charlotte
UTEP
At Western Kentucky
UTSA
At North Texas

We would recommend that Mike Bloomgren win the next 2 Very Damn Winnable Games or you can turn out the lights in Houston for Ole Mike!

9.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – In a miracle of sorts Navy was able to best East Carolina in double overtime on Saturday to get their first win of the season and now the 1 – 2 Sailors at the US Naval Academy have left in 2022

At Air Force
Tulsa
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Geez…will Navy win more than 3 games in 2022?

Not Likely!

10.  Scot Loeffler, Bowling Green – In 4 seasons at Bowling Green Scot Loeffler’s records now stand at

Overall:  8 – 24
MAC:  4 – 7

Enough said on Scot Loeffler at Bowling Green!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thanks Mr. Cash!

There’s a lot we could write here about Nebraska firing Scott Frost but in 4+ seasons Frost was…

16 – 31  .340

….and Mike Riley in 3 seasons at Nebraska had a record of…

19 – 19  .500

By all rights Frost shoulda been fired after last season but he had a $20M+ buyout and now his buyout $16M+ after getting run and clearly…

Scott Frost had to be fired!

…for lots of reasons but mainly because watching the Huskers play their first 3 games in 2022….

They look hardly coached at all!

What a Helluva Week and for all those Damn Morons who claimed that NIL + Transfer Portal was going to benefit the…

Biggest Most Powerful Football Programs

…and what your Damn Moron Asses got to say about..

Marshall over Notre Dame
Appy State over Texas A&M

…not to mention a few other upsets that raised our eyebrows and for those you don’t know…

Coaching > Roster Talent

….which maybe one day your asses will wake-up too because lots these College Football Head Coaches…

Don’t Have A Damn Clue what they are doing!

Come on out Mr. Cash and give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thanks Johnny!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – If you want to see a football team that has Totally Tuned out their Head Coach + Assistant Coaches put on tape of the Appy State at Texas A&M game from Saturday and you will see…

Lots of Aggies players playing at 50% or Less Effort who don’t give 1 Damn Rip what Jimbo Fisher says, does, or Damn anything else for that matter!

We been telling anyone that will listen that Jimbo Fisher has created a Helluva Problem in Aggieland by becoming King Jimbo and not being involved with Players on a daily basis and that reality has now reached Gameday and we could be looking at a Total Tailspin and Massive Crash & Burn with the Aggies if they lose another game and….

Here comes the Miami Hurricanes under new Head Coach Mario Cristobal to Aggieland which gonna pop the Aggies in the mouth and make em like it!

Lose to Miami in this spot with Arkansas in Dallas on deck and then this schedule…

At Mississippi State
At Alabama
At South Carolina
Ole Miss
Florida
At Auburn
UMass
LSU

…Jimbo and the Aggies be Damn Lucky to win 6 games in 2022 and Jimbo wins less than 8 Wins this season according to our Aggies alum buddies…

“We are going to run Jimbo’s ass right out of the State of Texas forget about just College Station!”

Most Amazing Thing about Aggies loss to Appy State on Saturday is that was…wait for it…

Jimbo Fisher’s 50 th Freaking Football Game Coaching Texas A&M and that is what he has built in 50 games…what he put on the field against the Mountaineers?

How can Jimbo Fisher even go into work and collect a paycheck after that Total Horseshit Crapola he and the Aggies Coaches put on the field Saturday?

Shameful comes to mind but it’s worse than that…this is Borderline Flat-Out Quitting As Coaches!

If the Aggies don’t show up against Miami on Saturday then Jimbo and the entire Aggies staff should be fired and bring in some Pee Wee Coaches to coach the Aggies who actually Give A Damn and will get A&M ready to play football games!

We may just have 2 College Football Programs passing each other at Kyle Field on Saturday….

Miami headed UP

Texas A&M headed back to the Dumpster on Fire going down river!

Dumpster Fire GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

2.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – With a Win over Howard on Saturday Ole Jeff Scott has now won….wait for it…4 games at USF in 3 seasons and Ole Scott may not win another game for awhile >

At Florida
At Louisville
East Carolina
At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

We be stunned if USF won more than 1 more game in 2022….Totally Stunned!

3.  David Shaw, Stanford – If not for Lincoln Riley calling off the Trojans Offense against Stanford in the 2 nd half USC would have easily scored 100+ points on David Shaw’s Cardinal which really is no longer a…

Football Team or Football Program

It’s just now….Damn Nothing!

Disgraceful come to mind

Pitiful comes to mind

But what really comes to mind is that the Super Duper Tea Party Candy Ass Football Program that David Shaw has allowed Stanford Football to become is a…

Total Disgrace to Stanford University and to the Game of Football in America!

This isn’t Football that is Stanford is playing….it’s Sub Tiddly-Winks with Candy Asses everywhere you look that couldn’t punch there way out of a wet paper sack on the best Damn day of their lives!

Now at 1 – 1 Shaw and Stanford have left…

At Washington
At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Geez…what now…Stanford might win 4 games total in 2022? Maybe…if they are Damn Lucky!

It’s Just A Damn Freaking Disgrace!

4.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – On Saturday Karl Dorrell coached his 20 the game as the Head Coach at Colorado against Air Force and…wait for it…

The Buffs got TOTALLY DESTROYED by the score of 41 – 10!

Why exactly Karl Dorrell was hired at Colorado we will never know because the hire made…

No Damn Sense if your ass actually watched Karl coach at UCLA

AND/OR

Your ass has a 2+ IQ!

Karl Dorrell is a terrific guy and human being and we wish his ass was winning at Colorado but this….

Is A Damn Disgrace to the University of Colorado and Football in America!

Now at 0 – 2 on the season the Buffs have left in 2022…

At Minnesota
UCLA
At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

Geez…the Buffs might not win a game in 2022!

We’ll go 2 – 10 record for Colorado in 2022 as a guess and our humble opinion!

5.  Scot Loeffler, Bowling Green – With the loss to FCS Eastern Kentucky on Saturday Bowling Green Head Coach Scot Loeffler’s records in 4 seasons at the school are now…

Overall:  7 – 24
MAC:  4 – 17

Nothing else needs to said or written on Loeffler!

6.  Marcus Freeman, Notre Dame – We have been watching Notre Dame Football since the early 1970s and since the Irish play USC and Stanford every season we have seen lots of Notre Dame games in person in South Bend, Los Angeles, Palo Alto, and at bowl games and here’s what we know about Notre Dame Football!

No one with a 2+ IQ and/or has watched 1 Down of Football in their lives on any Damn level would hire…

Someone to be the Head Coach at Notre Dame unless they have been a SUCCESSFUL College Head Coach before!

Hiring an Assistant Coach at Notre Dame who never even sniffed a Head Coaching Job forget about being SUCCESSFUL in that job is…

Total and Complete Stupidity and Level of Human Ignorance that goes beyond the 2003 Iraq War which only a…

Total Damn Moron would have launched and George W. Bush is one of the Stupidest Bastards we ever run into and we known W since the early 1980s!

Memo to Marcus Freeman since your ass knows NOTHING about being Head Coach Son >

Your ONLY JOB Son is to deliver your football team to Gameday….wait for it…

READY TO PLAY FOOTBALL!

We are not talking about having a Great Gameplan and making sure your football team is ready on the physical side to play the game….Any Damn Moron Coach can do that if he has a 2+ IQ…we are talking about something far more important Son…

Making Damn Sure Your Football Team is READY To Play the Game!

The Irish on Saturday were…

NOT READY TO PLAY Marshall and that…

WAS YOUR ONLY DAMN JOB KID which your ass is being paid Millions of Dollars to do and if you can’t do that Son guess what…

Your Ass Is Going To Get Run…and after Season 1!

This is the Damn Leagues Son not Podunk U so Get Off Your Damn Ass and Coach the Notre Dame Football Team and don’t you dare lose to California on Saturday….or your ass might get run right after the game!  Kidding of course now…but highly recommend you don’t lose to Cal because if you do Son the folks with the $$$ around Notre Dame gonna start talking about putting a pot of $$$ together to buy you and Jack out!  

7.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – The Complete Destruction of Navy Football continues under Ken Niumatalolo with a loss to Memphis by 3+ touchdowns on Saturday and in the last 3 seasons Kenny Boy has put up records of…

3 – 7
4 – 8
0 – 2

…and we don’t see any end in sight of this Total Damn Madness and Complete Destruction of Navy Football…until Ken and his Candy Ass Football is…

Banished from the US Naval Academy….FOREVER!

End This Damn Idiocy already!

8.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – With the Arkansas State loss to Ohio State by score of 45 – 12 on Saturday Butch Jones records at ASU now stand at…

Overall:  3 – 11

Sun Belt:  1 – 7

…and the Sun Belt just proved it’s No Damn Joke on Saturday so with these games left…

At Memphis
At Old Dominion
La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
Texas State
Troy

…..it ain’t gonna be easy to get the Red Wolves to 6 wins in 2022 and the Arkansas State folks are exactly patient with coaches that don’t get them to at least 6 wins every season!

9.  Geoff Collins, Georgia Tech – The Yellow Jackets beat Western Carolina on Saturday which is Geoff Collins…

10 th Win in 4 seasons at Georgia Tech

…and with these games left on the schedule…

Ole Miss
At UCF
At Pitt
Duke
Virginia
At Florida State
At Virginia Tech
Miami
At North Carolina
At Georgia

….it ain’t exactly like there are lots of Wins left on Tech’s schedule now!

We’ll guess 4 – 8 and see if Collins can beat our guess!

10.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – Sometimes you gotta wonder about a Coach like Sarkisian calling pass plays from inside the 5 yard-line with a Freshman QB on the field that ends up getting the Freshman QB injured and out of a game where he’s playing some good football, but these are things that…

Great Coaches Think About and A Great Coach

…is not Damn throwing the ball from the 2-yard line and getting his Freshman QB hurt when playing Alabama when you had to know Bama would be coming after his ass!

We really also don’t have Damn Clue what Alabama OC Bill O’Brien was doing on Saturday who easily called one of the…

Worst Offensive Games in recent College Football History

…throwing the ball lots when Alabama could have used their running game to pound Texas and hang onto the football but…

Arrogant Asses have to prove their Ass can do something and Billy Boy called lots of pass plays to prove what exactly…that his ass could?

In a game Alabama should have won by 2+ Touchdowns on Billy Boy with Little Nicky listening in on the headset called Dumb Play after Dumb Play and if Texas could tackle as well as Aunt Mildred they easily beat Alabama or if Sark would just…

Run the Damn Ball at the Endzone he doesn’t get his Freshman QB hurt and Texas wins the game!

Stupid…Just Plain Stupidity on both side of this Bama – Horns game!

Now at 1 – 1 when Texas should be 2 – 0 and rolling with a win over Alabama the Horns have left in 2022…

UTSA
At Texas Tech
West Virginia
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Texas could easily lose to UTSA at home and the rest of those games are No Damn Joke either including at Kansas so don’t think that just because Sark and Texas gave Alabama a good game…remember now..

Billy Boy O’Brien Dumber than Anyone on Earth…well not as Dumb as George W Bush now

….that they will roll rest of the 2022 because their asses could easily lose 5+ games this season and that happens…

Watch Out Now because Sark’s ass is getting run!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Week 1 of the 2022 College Football Season was interesting alright, but especially interesting for the Coaches on the Hot Seat and has set-up some fascinating games in the coming weeks that could lead to some…

Big Job Openings in 2022

…and with that let’s bring out the Late Great Johnny Cash!

Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thanks Mr. Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Scott Frost, Nebraska – It’s hard to know what to make of the 2022 Nebraska football team but they seem to be playing a lot like the Scott Frost Nebraska teams of the past few years and seeing that Cornhuskers were tied with North Dakota at half on their home field on Saturday at 7 – 7 one can only Sigh and wonder just where in the Hell this train is going?

Nowhere it looks like to us…Just Damn Nowhere!

Now at 1 – 1 on the season Nebraska has left…

Georgia Southern
Oklahoma
Indiana
At Rutgers
At Purdue
Illinois
Minnesota
At Michigan
Wisconsin
At Iowa

…and a Birdie in Omaha with 2 University of Nebraska degrees on this wall in his office told us this past Sunday that….

“Frost is going to need 7…maybe 8 wins…to come back next season.”

Well…can Nebraska get to 7 wins with the above schedule?

Probably Not and No Chance in Hell Huskers get to 7 wins in 2022 if they continue to play the way they played in the first two games of the season!

2.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – The Hits Keep Coming for Jeff Scott at South Florida with an opening game ROUT by BYU of the Bulls by the score of…

50 – 21

…which drops Scott’s overall record at USF to….

3 – 19

South Florida has left in 2022…

Howard
At Florida
At Louisville
East Carolina
At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
At Temple
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

Geez…that’s a Tough Schedule and will lead to a…

3 – 9…maybe 4 – 8 at BEST record for USF in 2022 and no doubt if that happens a Very Damn Good Job will come open in Tampa come December!

3.  Geoff Collins, Georgia Tech – Georgia Tech looked against Clemson much liked they looked the 3 seasons…

Not Very Well Coached and Often Confused

We don’t know what is going on at Georgia Tech practices but it ain’t good in our humble opinion and with this left on the Tech schedule…

Western Carolina
Ole Miss
At UCF
At Pitt
Duke
Virginia
At Florida State
At Virginia Tech
Miami
At North Carolina
At Georgia

…there ain’t a chance in Hell of Tech winning more than 4 games in 2022 and a Very Damn Good Job will come open in Atlanta come December!

4.  David Shaw, Stanford – Every since Stanford Football went to…

Total Cream Puff Offseason Conditioning Program

AND

Total Powder Puff Football Practices

…before the 2019 season the Stanford program has been in a Total Damn Freefall and it’s…

No Surprise to Anyone with a 2+ IQ

…because when your ass is running a…

Total Creampuff and Total Powder Puff Operation guess what your ass becomes…

Worthless Candy Asses = Stanford Football Today!

In the last 3+ seasons under David Shaw the Cardinal record now stands at…

12 – 24

…and of those 12 Wins..

Only 4 were against teams with .500+ records!

For all intents purposes…

Stanford Football No Longer Exists on The Farm…it’s just a Big Collection of Worthless Candy Asses that a Sorority Powder Puff Team could whip and make the Cardinal Players like it!

What will happen on Saturday when USC comes to town in the 2 nd game under Lincoln Riley?

The Stanford Cardinal will Huff and Puff and Talk Tough…and then Run and Hide like the Damn Cowards they as they get their asses whipped in their own stadium!

Cue Jed Clampett….

5.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – We fully expect Nicky Saban to keep a tight reign on his Alabama football team on Saturday and not blow the Longhorns out of their own stadium because mainly what Nick wants to see happen…

Steve Sarkisian to stay at Texas for as long as possible because the Last Damn Thing Nick wants is someone coaching at Texas that knows what the Hell he is doing as they come into the SEC Conference!

We will go a 20 to 24 point win for Bama over Texas which will leave the Horns at 1 – 1 on the season with these games left…

UTSA
At Texas Tech
West Virginia
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

IF and it’s a big IF Texas can beat UTSA in Week 3 it’s still going to be very hard for Texas to get to 6 wins in 2022 with that schedule…..Very Damn Hard!

Could Steve Sarkisian survive posting back-to-back losing seasons in his first 2 seasons at Texas?

laughing,dead,hilary duff,funny,tvland,yas,younger,youngertv,too funny,cracking up

6.  Karl Dorrell, Colorado – Karl Dorrell is a great guy but for the life of us we haven’t a Damn Clue why Colorado AD Rick George hired Dorrell before the 2020 season and after seeing first year Head Coach Sonny Dykes bring his new TCU team into Boulder and whip Karl’s ass in his 3 rd season at CU we gotta wonder Rick…

What Really Son was your ass thinking when you hired Karl Dorrell?

Dorrell is now…

Overall:  8 – 11
Pac-12:  6 – 7

…and has these games left to play in 2022…

At Air Force
At Minnesota
UCLA
At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

If you can find 6 wins for Colorado on the above schedule you are better folks than us!

7.  Scott Loeffler, Bowling Green – In his 4 th season on the job at Bowling Green Scott Loeffler after the loss to UCLA to open the season is sitting on records of…

Overall:  7 – 23
MAC:  4 – 17

…and that ain’t good as someone once said and Bowling Green has left to play in 2022…

Eastern Kentucky
Marshall
At Mississippi State
At Akron
Miami (Ohio)
At Central Michigan
Western Michigan
Kent State
At Toledo
At Ohio

Geez….Cue Dandy Don…

8.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Hey now…Ken Niumatalolo is a great guy but much like David Shaw at Stanford since Kenny Boy went to a…

Total Powder Puff and Cream Puff Navy Football Program

…before the 2020 season he has turned his Navy Sailors into the Biggest Damn Candy Asses this side of the Stanford Football Players who are Bigger Candy Asses than the Navy Players and if the two teams did meet to play a game what we could do is give all of them pillows and they could have a Big Pillow Fight in the middle of the field and then afterwards serve High Tea like the Total Candy Asses both teams are!

Marie Monti GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Getting back to Navy if the Naval Academy wants to keep putting Total Candy Asses into the US Navy = The Fleet and mind you there are…

15+ US Navy Combat Veterans who are Members at Coaches Hot Seat

…then fine but don’t come to us crying that The Fleet is filling up with a bunch of Worthless Candy Asses that Ole Kenny Boy is turning out who has posted a record the past 3 seasons of since Kenny went Total Powder Puff + Cream Puff of…

7 – 15

….which includes an opening 2022 season loss at home to…wait for it…

Delaware

Memo to Ken Niumatalolo:  Quit being a Worthless Candy Ass Son and Start Coaching Real Football again at the US Naval Academy!

0 – 1 Navy has left in 2022…

Memphis
East Carolina
At Air Force
Tulsa
At SMU
Houston
Temple
At Cincinnati
Notre Dame
At UCF
Army

Cue Dandy Don for the Worthless Candy Ass Cowards of the Naval Academy Football Team!

Signed,
15+ US Navy Combat Vets at Coaches Hot Seat

9.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – In Week 1 of the 2022 season Butch Jones and Arkansas State whipped Grambling at home which is like saying they whipped….

AIR!

Now that football season is actually going to start here is what Arkansas State has coming…

At Ohio State
At Memphis
At Old Dominion
La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
At Texas State
Troy

Maybe Butch Jones can get Arkansas State to 6 wins in 2022….probably not!

10.  Scott Satterfield, Louisville – The turning point and downward slide for Scott Satterfield at Louisville is when he secretly and quickly found out by the media interviewed for the South Carolina job after the 2020 season coming off of…wait for it…

4 – 7 season

…and now sitting on records of…

Overall:  18 – 20

ACC:  12 – 15

…the 2022 season is Satterfield’s Waterloo and every loss will make things just that much difficult starting with the game this coming Friday night at UCF which is a MUST WIN for Scott for Damn Sure and then after UCF the Cardinals still have to play…

Florida State
South Florida
At Boston College
At Virginia
Pitt
Wake Forest
James Madison
At Clemson
NC State
At Kentucky

Geez…if Louisville loses to UCF to start 0 – 2 there’s just no way they win 6 of their last 10 games with that schedule and our guess a year from today or rather before Christmas the Head Coach of the Louisville Cardinals football team will be…

Jeff Brohm

Just a guess!

On to Week 2 and as always…

Let’s Play Football!

The 2022 College Football Season Will Be Coaches Hot Seat 16th Season Covering the Great Game of College Football – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

It’s hard to believe it but the 2022 College Football Season is upon us and Coaches Hot Seat is back for a 16 th year of covering the CFB Hot Seat Coaches and everything else that comes to our minds! 2021 was a tough year here at Coaches Hot Seat losing a couple of folks and one of the Heart + Souls of Coaches Hot Seat going back to early days back in the Fall of 2006 when a few of us came up with the idea of Coaches Hot Seat at The Balboa Café in the Marina District of San Francisco but we are re-energized for the 2022 CFB Season and with that let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash!

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thanks Johnny!

1.  Scott Frost, Nebraska – Hell…we thought by Year 2 that Scott Frost would have Nebraska Football rolling again but the Nebraska Wonder Boy has fallen flat on this face in Lincoln and in 4 seasons on the job is sitting on records of…

Overall:  15 – 29

Big Ten:  10 – 25

….and if that isn’t Total Failure we don’t know what Total Failure and so far Scott Frost at Nebraska has been a…

Total Failure!

The Cornhuskers get things rolling early in 2022 with a game in Dublin, Ireland against Northwestern and talk about…

A Helluva Must Win Game

…this is a Helluva On Steroids Must Win Game for Scott Frost because lose in this spot with these games left…

North Dakota
Georgia Southern
Oklahoma
Indiana
At Rutgers
At Purdue
Illinois
Minnesota
At Michigan
Wisconsin
At Iowa

…there ain’t a Chance In Hell or Highwater or Lincoln that Frost finishes with a Winning Season and Frost at a bare minimum to stay employed in the Great State of Nebraska has to have…

6 Wins in 2022….Hell he probably needs 7+!

Give Em Hell Scott!

2.  Jeff Scott, South Florida – Talk about a Total Failure look at what Jeff Scott has done at South Florida in 2 seasons on the job >

Overall:  3 – 18

AAC:  1 – 14

Bozo the Clown’s pet dog could have posted a better record than what Scott put up the last 2 years at USF and either the boy will get things righted in 2022 or it will over in Tampa!

South Florida 2022 Schedule >

BYU
Howard
At Florida
At Louisville
East Carolina
At Cincinnati
Tulane
At Houston
SMU
At Tulsa
UCF

So a kid that has won 3 games in 2 seasons at USF is gonna win 6 games with that schedule in 2022?

Got Not A Chance In Hell?

Yep!

3.  Geoff Collins, Georgia Tech – We are not sure what the folks at Georgia Tech expected when they hired Geoff Collins 3 seasons ago but it ain’t this…

2019:  3 – 9
2020:  3 – 7
2021:  3 – 9

Overall:  9 – 25

ACC:  7 – 18

This is very simple for Geoff Collins…either get to 6+ wins in 2022 with this schedule…

Clemson
Western Carolina
Ole Miss
At UCF
At Pitt
Duke
Virginia
At Florida State
At Virginia Tech
Miami
At North Carolina
At Georgia

…or it’s Dandy Don Turn Out the Lights the Party’s Over Time!

Got Georgia Tech will have a new head football coach by Christmas?

Yep!

Merry Christmas!

4.  David Shaw, Stanford – The Stanford Folks at Coaches Hot Seat count themselves lucky to have seen the decade long roll that Stanford Football got on between 2009 and 2018 under Jim Harbaugh and David Shaw but now you ask any of them what the Hell is going on on The Farm they will sigh and say…

“It’s a Damn Disaster!”

One Stanford alum at Coaches Hot Seat has gotten to see both Stanford and USC practice in the month of August and his evaluation is…

“USC looks like they are ready to light up the Pac-12 and unleash Hellfire on the Pac-12 and College Football under Lincoln Riley”

AND

“Stanford looks like the Biggest Group of Candy Ass Cotton Candy No Damn Hit Anyone Tea Party Holding Lightweights this side of Pee Wee Herman! Check that…Pee Wee Herman is Tough as Nails compared to these Candy Asses and the last few year’s Stanford team that would be lucky to punch out a hole in a wet In-n-Out bag holding the hamburger and fries that I ate in disgust after seeing Stanford Football practice!”

It Be True…Stanford Football has gone from Winning the Pac-12 and Rose Bowl and 2015 to only 7 years later…

The Biggest Bunch of No Tackling and No Hitting and No Football Playing Candy Asses in America and we have no doubt we could take..

Dozen 50+ year olds down to The Farm and whip the Hell out of David Shaw’s Not A Damn Football Team in a game and in a physical fight after the game and make David and all his Cardinal Candy Asses like it!

The last 3 seasons David Shaw has put up records of…

Overall:  11 – 19

Pac-12:  9 – 15

…and the Cardinal has to face in 2022…

Colgate
USC
At Washington
At Oregon
Oregon State
At Notre Dame
Arizona State
At UCLA
Washington State
At Utah
At California
BYU

Got there is No Damn Chance of Stanford finishing with 6 wins in 2022?

Yep…and if Lincoln Riley and USC comes to The Farm and whips the Cardinal in Week 2 the Damn Team may just flat-out quit on Shaw and Shaw will find his ass fired from his alma mater before the 2022 season is over and if that happens the entire Damn Stanford Athletic Department Leadership will be fired as well because they have let Shaw turn Stanford Football into the…

Biggest Joke West of the Mississippi River in the American Republic that will only get a lot worse in 2022!

5.  Steve Sarkisian, Texas – The Texas Boosters have cranked-up their NIL Machine to help Sark to start landing some talent in Austin but will Sark make it to coach the 2023 season at Texas whether the latest Manning Boy is coming to Texas or not?

Maybe…Maybe Not!

Sark was 5 – 7 in his only season on the job at Texas and No Texas Head Coach has survived 2 straight losing seasons in the modern era of college football and we really doubt that Sark could survive it either so on to the Texas 2022 schedule >

La. Monroe
Alabama
UTSA
At Texas Tech
West Virginia
Oklahoma
Iowa State
At Oklahoma State
At Kansas State
TCU
At Kansas
Baylor

Geez…7 wins….maybe for Texas in 2022!

We could easily see Texas winning only 5 games again in 2022 and how in the Hell could Sark be retained at Texas if he posts losing seasons in his only two seasons on the job?

Not a Chance in Hell Sark could or would coach Texas in 2023 if that happens!

6.  Dino Babers, Syracuse – Dino Babers has 1 Winning Season in his 6 seasons coaching Syracuse and we really doubt that Dino be able to have another losing season coaching the Orange and keep his job so on to the Syracuse 2022 schedule…

Louisville
At UConn
Purdue
Virginia
Wagner
NC State
At Clemson
Notre Dame
At Pitt
Florida State
At Wake Forest
At Boston College

Damn…that’s a HARD football schedule and if Syracuse is not 4 – 1 when NC State shows up to the Carrier Dome on October 15 there’s not a Chance In Hell the Orange get to 6 wins in 2022!

Get Yourself Together Dino!

7.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – We don’t have any idea why the Arkansas State folks hired Butch Jones a year ago but they did and Butch in Year 1 put up a record of…

2 – 10

Another losing season and Butch is done at Arkansas State so let’s go to the Red Wolves 2022 schedule >

Grambling
At Ohio State
At Memphis
At Old Dominion
La. Monroe
James Madison
At Southern Miss
At Louisiana
South Alabama
UMass
Texas State
Troy

Come on Butch…Bozo the Clown win 6 games with this schedule coaching Arkansas State even if he started 1 – 3!

8.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona – We are still not sure why Jedd Fisch was hired at Arizona but somehow he was and in Year 1 on the job Jedd put up a record of…wait for it…

1 – 11

Let’s look at the Wildcats 2022 schedule to see how long this Fisch Experiment is going to last in Tucson >

At San Diego State
Mississippi State
North Dakota State
At California
Colorado
Oregon
At Washington
USC
At Utah
At UCLA
Washington State
Arizona State

2 Seasons…that’s how long the Jedd Fisch Experiment will last in Tucson!

9.  Tim Albin, Ohio – Taking over a solid Ohio Football program from Frank Solich Ole Tim Albin promptly in Year 1 coaching the Bobcats put up a record of…wait for it…

3 – 9

Just ain’t no way Albin survives if he has another season like that in 2022 and looking at the Ohio schedule…

Florida Atlantic
At Penn State
At Iowa State
Fordham
At Kent State
Akron
At Western Michigan
Northern Illinois
Buffalo
At Miami (OH)
At Ball State
Bowling Green

…just no way Albin is coaching Ohio in 2023!

10. Karl Dorrell, Colorado – In 2 seasons at Colorado Karl Dorrell has posted records of…

Overall:  8 – 10

Pac-12:  6 – 7

…and in what has become a Very Weak Pac-12 Conference and that’s…

Not So Good Karl!

Let’s go to the Buffs 2022 schedule >

TCU
At Air Force
At Minnesota
UCLA
At Arizona
California
At Oregon State
Arizona State
Oregon
At USC
At Washington
Utah

No idea how Colorado gets 6 wins in 2022…just no idea!

Well we are off and running for the 2022 College Football Season and…

Let’s Play Football!

Impressions From Stanford – USC Game – Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash and Make Them Cry Like Babies!

 

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We wanted to hear from everyone that attended the Stanford – USC game on Saturday at the Coaches Hot Seat Monday Night Football get-together at the four Coaches Hot Seat Centrals last night and the consensus on Stanford football after much discussion is:

Stanford football was fired-up and ready to play USC on Saturday night and they were dead asleep when they ran onto the field against Northwestern in Week 1. No doubt, USC is an opponent that should get Stanford football players more fired-up than Northwestern, but the difference in play in the two games is striking….so striking in fact that there is now some real worry that the Cardinal will not show up on Friday night at Oregon State with the same passion and enthusiasm that they displayed against USC. Yes, that is REAL Damn worry and with a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Corvallis for the game on Friday night there is no doubt this is a critical game for Stanford head coach David Shaw who is….

10 – 7 in his last 17 games at Stanford

AND

6 – 4 in his last 10 Pac-12 games at Stanford

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

Here is Stanford’s remaining schedule:

At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

IF Stanford plays at or close to the same level of play and passion they played against USC there is No Damn Reason why the Cardinal loses more than…

3 Games in 2015

…but if the level of play and/or passion declines at all Stanford could easily lose 5 or more games in 2015 which would be nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster on The Farm!

With that let’s get to the….

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash and Make Them Cry Like Babies!

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11.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State – Ron Caragher took over a San Jose State team that had won 10 games in 2012 under Mike MacIntyre and Caragher has posted the following records now in his third season on the job:

Overall:  10 – 17

MWC:  7 – 10

Sorry Ron, the above win/loss records do not feed the Bulldog…even at San Jose State…and it’s either put-up or shut-up the rest of the 2015 season and luckily for Ron and the Spartans they have three very Damn winnable games coming up against…

Fresno State
At Auburn
At UNLV

Hell, we see no reason why San Jose State isn’t…

4 – 2

…when they play San Diego State on October 17!

Coach ‘em up Ron!

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12.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt got its first win of the 2015 season for head coach Derek Mason on Saturday over Austin Peay and that runs Mason’s records to the following in his second year on the job:

Overall:  4 – 11

SEC:  0 – 9

We have been trying for weeks to get something out of one of our long-time doctor friends who got his medical degree from Vanderbilt on what Derek Mason needs to do in 2015 to return as the head coach of the Commodores next season and finally the Doc took some time from his busy schedule saving folks lives to tell us…

“Who is Derek Mason? Hell, when did James Franklin leave Vandy? Just kidding boys! Thinking Mason needs 4 wins this season and which means 2 wins in SEC play assuming Vandy beats Middle Tennessee and loses to Houston. Hey, it’s not a big goal but remember boys….this is Vandy football we are talking about here!”

So Derek Mason needs to find three more wins out of the below games to improve on his 3 – 9 record in 2014 to return as the head coach of Vandy in 2016…..Hmmmm…..

At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

Good Luck with that Derek Mason!

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13.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – For all the bluster of Butch Jones since he arrived in Knoxville in early 2013 in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disasters that were the hirings of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley the TRUTH is that Butch Jones has now coached 28 games at Tennessee and has posted a record of…

14 – 14

….and Derek Dooley’s record after 28 games in the books coaching the Vols was…

13 – 15

….which makes this Saturday’s game at Florida the BIGGEST game of Butch Jones coaching career because a loss in this spot and the now Run Out of Knoxville on a Rail Derek Dooley and Butch Jones will stand at the same exact spot record wise after 29 games in the books…

14 – 15!

Let’s take a look at the rest of Tennessee’s schedule with the Vols now sitting at 2 – 1:

At Florida
Arkansas
Georgia
At Alabama
At Kentucky
South Carolina
North Texas
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

In 2014 Tennessee finished the regular season at 6 – 6 and looking over the above remaining games we only see two SURE WINS…North Texas and Vanderbilt….so can Butch Jones and the Vols who threw away a great opportunity to be on an amazing roll if they had not given away the Oklahoma game find at least 6 more wins to get to 8 wins total in 2015 which we believe is the win number Butch Jones MUST hit if he doesn’t want 2015 to be considered…

A Complete and Total Failure?

Don’t know the answer to that question but Butch Jones better Damn find 6 more wins starting with a win over the Florida Gators in Gainesville on Saturday or the HEAT on Butch Jones’ ass come next Monday will rival the HEAT that was on Derek Dooley’s ass just a few years ago!

14.  Trent Miles, Georgia State – On Saturday Georgia State played the Oregon Ducks in Autzen…final score…

Oregon – 61
Georgia State – 28

…and that now runs Trent Miles win/loss records at Georgia State in his third year on the job to…

Overall:  2 – 25

Sun Belt:  1 – 15

Got a Roaring Hot Seat with a side of butter? Trent Miles does and that butter must be scolding!

15.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – Since Paul Petrino now has THREE wins in THREE seasons coaching the Idaho Vandals ANY win is a cause for celebration and on Saturday Idaho beat Wofford 41 – 38 which runs Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho to…

3 – 23

Up next for Idaho which only beat Wofford by THREE points…

Georgia Southern

Good Luck with that Paul Petrino and Oh Yea…Your Ass Is Still On the Hot Seat even with that MIGHTY THREE point win over Wofford!

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16.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson’s Indiana team got their MUST WIN over Western Kentucky on Saturday to run the Hoosiers record to…

3 – 0

….in 2015 and now only Wake Forest stands in the way of Indiana entering Big Ten play undefeated which is against Ohio State on October 3.

Uh….Oh….this Wake Forest game is the exact kind of spot where Indiana under Kevin Wilson has faltered in the past and why Wilson needs to make sure his Hoosiers are focused as they travel down to North Carolina to take on Wake.

There is only ONE way for Kevin Wilson to get off the Hot Seat…

Get his Hoosiers to 6 wins in 2015 and a win over Wake Forest on Saturday will go a long way in accomplishing that goal!

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17.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Nebraska played well enough to be 3 – 0 right now instead of 1 – 2 after close losses to BYU and Nebraska which reminds us of something one of our football coaches from a long time ago used to say when people told him that it was too bad that his team lost a close game:

“It never should have been a close game in the first place!”

We are talking about Nebraska here which hasn’t won less than NINE games since the 2007 season and with Cornhuskers now at 1 – 2 with the below games remaining how many games can Mike Riley and Nebraska win in 2015?

Southern Miss
At Illinois
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Northwestern
At Purdue
Michigan State
At Rutgers
Iowa

Why do we think that Nebraska is going to have a tough time getting to 8 wins in 2015?

Geez….this could be a long football season in Lincoln for Mike Riley!

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18.  Norm Chow, Hawaii – Hawaii beat UC Davis on Saturday night to move to 2 – 1 on the season which means about as much as the wave that just hit the beach at Waikiki and now it’s back to the REAL world for the Warriors as they travel in back-to-back weeks to play…

At Wisconsin
At Boise State

Good Luck with that Norm!

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19.  Steve Sarkisian, USC – The most interesting comment made by a Coaches Hot Seat member made after seeing Stanford maul USC at the LA Coliseum on Saturday night was…

“This USC team looks like Sark’s Washington teams with just more talent.”

Our problem with Pat Haden hiring Steve Sarkisian as the head coach at USC was that Sark’s teams at Washington were often just “OK” and that if Sarkisian was going to take USC back to the heights seen during the Pete Carroll era with the Trojans then “something” was going to have to be added to Sark’s coaching repertoire and so far in Sark’s second season at USC…

We just don’t see that “something” yet.

Since many of us here at Coaches Hot Seat have been watching USC football for close to 40 years now our standards for USC and thus Steve Sarkisian are Very Damn High and with the loss to Stanford the Trojans dropped to 2 – 1 on the season with these games remaining to be played:

At Arizona State
Washington
At Notre Dame
Utah
At California
Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
UCLA

Can USC and more importantly Steve Sarkisian top their win total of EIGHT games in 2014?

Maybe….Maybe Not…which is why things are starting to heat up for Steve Sarkisian at USC who has Very Damn Little margin for error on or off the field!

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20.  Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner and FIU got their CUPCAKE win over NC Central on Saturday to move to 2 – 1 on the season but it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a trip to play at La. Tech which took Kansas State to overtime on Saturday.

Got 2 – 2 Ron Turner and FIU?

You are about to have it and for Damn sure Ron your ass is on the Hot Seat!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

21.  David Shaw, Stanford – As a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members sat in Stanford Stadium on Saturday night watching Stanford whip Hapless and it seemed almost Coachless UCF an interesting observation was made by one CHS member:

“Is it just me or do the Stanford football players seem to going back to the size physically they were (which was puny) when Walt Harris was run off The Farm and replaced with Jim Harbaugh in 2007?”

This idea that the Stanford football players are getting increasingly smaller under head coach David Shaw compared to the size they were under Jim Harbaugh and in the first couple of years of the Shaw reign has been a topic of hushed discussion for over a year now among a small group of Coaches Hot Seat members which blew-up into a wide ranging discussion on Saturday night with lots of comments thrown in from the peanut gallery like…..

“How small the Stanford football players seemed at fan day in August. Hell, my boy in the ninth grade was bigger than half the Stanford team!”

“How it seems the Stanford football players are losing rather than gaining weight year-over year under David Shaw.”

“Doesn’t it seem like the Stanford football players are less cut, less in shape looking and overall not in the condition they were in during the Jim Harbaugh years?”

What was the final conclusion to this discussion you ask among the participating Coaches Hot Seat members which included a couple of CHS Members chiming-in from their hotel room in Knoxville, Tennessee?

Stanford football IS GETTING SMALLER and LESS PHYSICAL overall under David Shaw and all it takes for one to understand this FACT is for anyone to watch a tape of the Northwestern game from this season to see a smaller team in Northwestern push Stanford around all over the field on the way to a 16 – 6 win over the Cardinal.

Of course, the proof is ALWAYS in the pudding as someone once said and this week Stanford plays at USC which has ALWAYS had larger and stronger players across the board than Stanford but for a few seasons during the Jim Harbaugh years there was a time when USC was flat-out…

Intimidated by Stanford Football

….which culminated in 2009 Stanford – USC game at the LA Coliseum when the Cardinal led Jim Harbaugh team CRUSHED the Trojans by the score of…

55 – 21!

Unfortunately USC has won the last two games in the Stanford – USC series and it will be fascinating to see what the Trojans are able to do with Stanford at the LA Coliseum on Saturday in Steve Sarkisian’s second year as the head coach at USC after narrowly beating the Cardinal 13 – 10 last season on The Farm.

Will Stanford get pushed around by a team in USC that has five to six times as much talent as Northwestern which thoroughly dominated Stanford in the first game of the season or is there something…..anything….that David Shaw can do to get the Cardinal offense on track before the Pac-12 schedule really cranks up with several teams on the schedule that can easily score 30 or more points a game which would leave the pitiful Stanford offense in the dust?

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We shall all see on Saturday night with a decent amount of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Los Angeles for the Stanford – USC game at one of our favorite venues to watch football games the LA Coliseum which a few Coaches Hot Seat members have been watching football games at for almost 40 years now. Needless to say with the remaining games on Stanford’s schedule as listed below…

At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

….there is a REAL chance that Stanford does NOT win 6 games in 2015 if they play like they did against Northwestern and of course if Stanford doesn’t win 6 games in 2015 Stanford WILL be looking for a new head football coach come December for Damn sure!

22.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson is now in his fourth season coaching the Tulane Green Wave and has posted win/loss records of…

Overall:  12 – 27

CUSA:  9 – 15

….with ONE winning season and bowl game in the books in his first three seasons.

Is Tulane the kind of place that should expect to be playing .500 or better football on a regular basis?

We sure the Hell don’t know why not and after Tulane started the 2015 season with losses to Duke and Georgia Tech the Green Wave has these games left on the schedule:

Maine
UCF
At Temple
Houston
At Navy
At Memphis
UConn
At Army
At SMU
Tulsa

Hmmm…..with the above games remaining is there anyone that believes Tulane will win at least 6 games in 2015?

Didn’t think so which takes us to…

Coach up your team Curtis Johnson or the Hot Seat will just get HOTTER!

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23.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – What a PERFECT opportunity Saturday is for…

Pretty Boy Kingsbury

….to both get Coaches Hot Seat off his back, have us drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER, and get a win for Texas Tech football when the Red Raiders travel to Fayetteville on Saturday to play an Arkansas team that is coming off a loss to Toledo and is according to our buddies in Ft. Smith, Arkansas…

In Total and Complete Disarray Right Now

….with people in Fayetteville pointing fingers at who was responsible for the Toledo loss and therein lies the…

PERFECT opportunity for Pretty Boy Kingsbury and his Red Raiders!

Can Texas Tech really go into Fayetteville and beat an Arkansas team coached by someone (Bret “Ohio State LOVES THEIR CUPCAKES” Bielema) who it seems is more interested in who Ohio State is playing each week (Northern Illinois) than in getting his team ready to play football games?

YES is that answer to that question and a loss in this spot for Bret Bielema to Texas Tech would not only get Pretty Boy Kingsbury OFF the Hot Seat it would send Bret “Anyone seen Urban Meyer eating CUPCAKES today” Bielema into a close orbit around the Sun for the foreseeable future with the SEC Conference schedule still ahead!

Memo to Pretty Boy Kingsbury:  If you score 35 points in this game you will beat Arkansas and YES if you beat Arkansas on Saturday we will drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

Good Luck Pretty Boy!

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24.  Les Miles, LSU – With wins over Mississippi State AND Auburn Les Miles has an opportunity to go from the frying pan to the catbird seat if LSU can get a win over a Totally Hapless Auburn team in Baton Rouge on Saturday and consider this for a moment that IF LSU can beat Auburn the Tigers will then have the below games left on their schedule before they play at Alabama on November 7:

At Syracuse
Eastern Michigan
At South Carolina
Florida
Western Kentucky

Hell, if LSU can beat Mississippi State and Auburn we see no reason why LSU can’t roll through their next FIVE games and show up in Tuscaloosa on November 7 at….

7 – 0

….to play the Crimson Tide BUT hold it just a second…after Alabama the Tigers still have to play…

Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M

….so even if LSU was 7 – 0 on November 7 Les Miles could still lose his last 4 games and end the 2015 season at…

7 – 4

….and rightfully get his ass run out of Baton Rouge come December!

Up first though before Les Miles possibly gets his ass run out of Baton Rouge in December is the Auburn Tigers in Tiger Stadium and don’t tell anyone Les because what we are about to tell you is just between you Les and us here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Coaches Hot Seat whispering through the computer to Les Miles:  “Our contact at Auburn tells us the Auburn coaching staff is in full-on panic mode right now because they know and Gus Malzahn knows that if Auburn loses to LSU on Saturday and Malzahn drops to 10 – 7 in his last 17 games that Malzahn’s ass will be on fire and on the Hot Seat!”

Good Luck Mad Hatter and OH…if you lose to Auburn at home in Tiger Stadium when Auburn is in “full-on panic mode” your precious ass will be climbing back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!

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25.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over Liberty University which is where that Total Nutcake Bernie Sanders was speaking on Monday but we will say about Bernie Sanders that even though he is a Total Nutcake at least he is a Total Nutcake with personal principles that he sticks to whether you disagree with him or not!

Getting back to Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia Crazy Boy Holgorsen has a chance to get his ass off the Hot Seat next week with a win against Maryland at home on September 26 which would be nice since WVU travels to play at Oklahoma in their fourth game of the season after the Terps come to Morgantown.

For now though with West Virginia having an off-week Crazy Boy Dana Holgorsen remains on the Hot Seat right where Crazy Boy belongs!

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26.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa got a nice win at Iowa State on Saturday but then…

Iowa State has LOST 21 of their last 26 games

…so beating Iowa State is akin to beating a Ladies Senior Citizen Bridge Club’s auxiliary football team that meets on every Tuesday night in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa so we hope that fans of Iowa football aren’t getting too confident after a win over the Cyclones especially with Pitt coming to town on Saturday.

We will tell everyone why a loss to Pitt on Saturday would be especially devastating to Kirk Ferentz and Iowa:

Pat Narduzzi is in his first year as a head coach at Pitt or as a head coach anywhere and if Pat Narduzzi can in his third game as a head coach roll into Iowa and beat the Hawkeyes on the road where exactly does that leave Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz?

Right in the septic tank on the farm is where that leaves Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz!

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27.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Several Coaches Hot Seat members have been traveling to the Great State of Nebraska for over two decades on business and thus we have had a long love affair going with Nebraska and the Good People of that state and even when we put Mike Riley on the Hot Seat we have done so reluctantly since Mike Riley is a lot like the Good People of Nebraska in that Riley is almost…

Impossible NOT to like

….but this is Coaches Hot Seat and when you are the head coach at Nebraska you have to win “X” number of games to stay OFF the Hot Seat and thus why this Saturday’s game at Miami is so Damn important for Mike Riley and Nebraska football as they head towards Big Ten Conference play.

Of course, this Nebraska – Miami game is also very important for Hurricanes head coach Al Golden and thus we have set-up here in South Florida a..

Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up

….with the winning coach getting his ass off the Hot Seat for now and the losing coaching getting the heat turned up on his ass Come Monday….

….and no doubt many times in the future during the rest of this college football season as well.

Good Luck to Mike Riley and Al Golden in this Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaches game!

28.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – Mike MacIntyre and Colorado got a nice win over UMass at home in Boulder on Saturday and now the Buffs face a CRITICAL game against Colorado State on Saturday which is a match-up that Colorado MUST WIN with the Pac-12 conference schedule looming over their shoulders and with the first Pac-12 game against Oregon in Boulder on October 3.

Can Colorado beat Colorado State on Saturday to get Mike MacIntyre off to a 2 – 1 start with Nicholls State up next which should be 3 – 1 before the Buffs start Pac-12 play against Oregon on October 3?

We don’t see why the Hell not!

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29.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora and North Carolina got a win over CUPCAKE North Carolina A&T on Saturday and now getting back to Big Boy College Football UNC will host Illinois on Saturday in Chapel Hill which is being coached by interim head coach Bill Cubit.

Yep…North Carolina CANNOT lose to this Illinois team that was in Complete and Total Disarray just a few weeks ago because a loss in this spot to drop to 1 – 2 with the below schedule still looming…

Delaware
At Georgia Tech
Wake Forest
Virginia
At Pitt
Duke
Miami
At Virginia Tech
NC State

…would put both Fedora and the Tar Heels in a precarious position as ACC Conference play gets underway on October 3 with a game at Georgia Tech.

Memo to SPF which is short for Six Pack Fedora here at Coaches Hot Seat: DO NOT LOSE TO Illinois! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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30.  Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – Frank Beamer and the Hokies loaded-up on a CUPCAKE this past Saturday with a win over Furman and now it is back to reality for Virginia Tech with a game at Purdue in Week 3 in what is for Damn sure…

A MUST WIN Game for Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech

….because a loss in this spot to a Purdue football team that has won FIVE total football games the past three seasons would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and fully reveal the current….

Hapless State of Virginia Tech Football

….which in what may be Frank Beamer’s last season in Blacksburg is certainly something that Coach Beamer does not want to be fully revealed for all the world to see.

With a game at East Carolina in Week 4 a loss to Purdue might just lead to the Hokies starting the 2015 season at…

1 – 3

….and fighting for their lives just to get to a pitiful bowl game and is a mediocre season and pitiful bowl game really how Frank Beamer wants to go out at Virginia Tech after a legendary coaching career?

NO is the answer to that question and thus YES Virginia Tech had better Damn beat Purdue!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

11.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – Now in his third season at Idaho head coach Paul Petrino has posted a record of…

2 – 22

…which includes an opening 2015 season loss to Ohio by a score of 45 – 28.

YES…2 – 22 will land your ass on the Hot Seat and that is exactly where Paul Petrino is at and has been for years now!

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12.  Ron Turner, Florida International – We are not quite sure how FIU beat UCF in Orlando on Thursday…more on George O’Leary who is now on the Hot Seat due to the loss to FIU in a bit…but a win is a win and a win over UCF moves Ron Turner down the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings BUT if Turner is going to get off the Hot Seat for good he will need more than 4 wins in 2015 and HELL if you can beat UCF in Orlando you can beat a pitiful Indiana team in Bloomington this coming Saturday….right?

RIGHT!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

13.  David Shaw, Stanford – Dozens of Coaches Hot Seat members were in the San Francisco Bay area and around Stanford University for work and various professional educational things in August so many of us were able to take-in and size-up the Stanford football August preseason camp and by the third week of August a consensus had been reached that we came very close to publishing in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog that we held back on because….WELL….maybe we were wrong and why send out alarms to Stanford’s first opponent Northwestern about potential problems with Stanford football so we kept our mouths shut.

After seeing in person and watching on TV the Stanford – Northwestern game this past Saturday we can now say….

WE WERE NOT WRONG!

….about the Complete Freaking Disaster that we were watching unfold in August on The Farm which has led to the…

Complete Freaking Disaster that is Stanford Football right now!

Let’s quickly summarize what several Coaches Hot Seat members saw in August with Stanford football by quoting a CHS Member on what he thought of the Cardinal’s August camp practices:

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“If you held all of Stanford’s August football practices in a balsa wood house not only would the balsa wood house still be standing there would not be one dent in any of the balsa wood!”

What the Hell does the above mean exactly?

Stanford Football NO LONGER PLAYS FOOTBALL under head coach David Shaw but rather Shaw just holds pillow fights among the players so the…

Candy Ass Coaches and Candy Ass Players can act like they are football players when in FACT

….any random sorority football team from any university in the country could whip the Hell out of the….

Candy Ass Coaches and Candy Ass Players that call themselves Stanford Football!

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On top of Stanford Football players being Candy Asses that are coached by Candy Asses did anyone else catch the Stanford offense against Northwestern?

Got there are Thousands of Pee Wee football teams across America that not only hit harder but are better coached and more sophisticated than the Stanford offense right now?

What a Complete Freaking Joke Stanford Football is right now and in our opinion the current state of Stanford Football goes straight to the head coach David Shaw who also in our opinion…

Wouldn’t know an honest day’s work if it hit him in the ass!

No David Shaw…sitting in your office listening to jazz music is NOT working IF you are the head coach of the Stanford football team which by the way you have turned into the…

Biggest Group of Candy Asses in the American Republic today!

Congratulations David Shaw you should be Mighty Damn Proud of Yourself because you are going to do the Next Too Damn Impossible….

Be handed a championship football program from Jim Harbaugh and less than three years later be now sitting on a record over your last 15 games of…

8 – 7

….and headed towards getting your precious jazz listening ass run right off The Farm!

Up next for the Candy Asses in Cardinal:

UCF this coming Saturday on The Farm which just lost to FIU at home!

Here’s a thought:

The Stanford football coaches and players should all get in their best Sunday dresses out and find some nice pillows from the nearby Macy’s at the Stanford Shopping Center for the UCF game and do what they best and love so very much in style…

Have a Pillow Fight!

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Fear the Tree? No…not any longer on The Farm!

Fear the Pillows being swung by the Candy Ass Coaches and Players on the Stanford NOT A Football Team anymore!

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14.  Les Miles, LSU – Let’s give the award…

Thank God Almighty that those Idiots weren’t around during World War II

…to the LSU athletic department that could not find a way to move a game one day forward to Sunday after the McNeese State – LSU game was cancelled on Saturday which lots of…

Flunky Paper Pushers in the LSU Athletic Department

….couldn’t somehow do who no doubt would be selling apples on the local street corner if they weren’t working in athletics where morons can hang around forever whether they are actually good at their jobs or not who and couldn’t just say this simple Damn thing:

“Sorry Folks….the McNeese State – LSU game is cancelled…see everyone back here at Tiger Stadium tomorrow for a 5PM for kick-off.”

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Would the above had meant that the McNeese State football team would have driven the 130 miles back to their campus in Lake Charles to spend the night and driven back to Baton Rouge on Sunday for the game?

YES….Big Freaking Deal!

Would the above have meant that LSU Athletics would have spent a few extra hundred thousand dollars in overtime for people working in and around Tiger Stadium?

YES…Big Freaking Deal!

Would the above have meant that LSU athletic administrators otherwise known as Precious Candy Ass Paper Pushers would have had to do some extra work over the weekend?

YES…Big Freaking Deal!

Bottom-Line: LSU Athletics is run by Complete Freaking Morons that cannot move a football game…..A Freaking Football Game…one day forward!

YES…it is true…there are Complete Freaking Morons in position of authority all over America right now and LSU Athletics is a prime example of that FACT!

Getting back to Les Miles the LSU Tigers now open the season at Mississippi State and if Les Miles’ football team loses that game…

Expect your ass to be the temperature in the Bayou on a HOT August Day Les Miles!

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15.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – PBK’s….Pretty Boy Kingsbury…football team at Texas Tech got a 59 – 45 win over FCS team Sam Houston in Week 1 which means about as much as a grain of sand being washed into the ocean and in Week 2 the Red Raiders play UTEP at home in a game that very simply…

PBK…Pretty Boy Kingsbury….CANNOT LOSE

….with Arkansas in Week 3.

Oh…Arkansas beat UTEP in Week 1 by the score of 48 – 13 so everyone here at Coaches Hot Seat will be watching this UTEP – Texas Tech game and score very closely!

Good Luck to you PBK!

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16.  Steve Sarkisian, USC – USC whipped an overmatched Arkansas State team in Week 1 and the Trojans play a very weak Idaho team in Week 2 and then USC gets…

The Balsa Wood Candy Ass Pillow Fight Boys of Stanford in Week 3

….so USC should EASILY be 3 – 0 when they head to play Arizona State in Tempe on September 26.

As for Steve Sarkisian and his recent “troubles” we can only say to Steve….

Focus on Family and Football Steve and keep the Focus there….PERIOD.

17.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – North Carolina looked better…especially the UNC defense under Gene Chizik…than the Tar Heels looked in 2014 BUT the OLD Ball Coach’s South Carolina team looked AVERAGE at best so was UNC’s performance against the Gamecocks something to be impressed with or just….whatever?

In our opinion….WHATEVER….because there are probably some high schools team in the South that could whip the South Carolina team that the OLD Ball Coach ran out onto the field in Charlotte!

Coming up for Larry Fedora and North Carolina:

NC A&T
Illinois
Delaware

Hell…North Carolina SHOULD be…

3 – 1

…when go to Atlanta to play Georgia Tech on October 3!

If not…Larry Fedora knows where he will be….no NOT on the beach with is shirt off wowing the ladies and looking for someone that will take a picture of him but rather….

On the FREAKING HOT SEAT!

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18.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – It’s not just the Iowa football team that is a Complete Freaking Disaster at the University of Iowa after reading about who Iowa just hired as the new president of the school….

The University of Iowa Campus looking west from Old Capitol and the Pentacrest.

Rocky Start for University of Iowa President, Rekha Basu, Des Moines Register

“Less than 2 percent of the faculty thinks J. Bruce Harreld is qualified to be the University of Iowa’s next president; among the college community at large, it’s 2.6 percent. By contrast, more than 90 percent of respondents to a campus survey gave high ratings to the other three finalists.

Nonetheless, Harreld was named UI’s 21st president Thursday in a unanimous vote from the Iowa Board of Regents. In so doing, they chose a former business executive with no experience in university administration, whose resume lists as his present employer a company he has since acknowledged no longer exists.

Harreld has also admitted he’ll have a steep learning curve for the job, and that his “unusual background” will mean he’ll need a lot of teaching, coaching and mentoring from those who criticized him. It’s good he acknowledged that, and gracious to extend the olive branch. But considering he’ll earn $590,000, plus $200,000 annually in deferred compensation, on-the-job training shouldn’t be necessary.”

What in the Freaking Hell?

Of course, the Iowa regents hiring this Buffoon as the new University of Iowa president makes the school paying football coach Kirk Ferentz $4 Million Dollars a year make sense….well…NOTHING can make paying Kirk Ferentz all that money for mediocrity make sense which brings us to the…

$4 Million Dollar Man Kirk Ferentz

…who over the last five seasons while earning around $20 Million Dollars has posted records of…

Overall:  34 – 30

Big Ten:  19 – 21

…which is a good gig if you can’t be the president of the University of Iowa who it seems is NOT qualified for the job while hauling down almost $800K a year!

Anyone else starting to notice a pattern here at the University of Iowa and if so what does that pattern mean?

We don’t know the exact answer to that question but there are plenty of people here at Coaches Hot Seat that are NOT qualified for lots of jobs at the University of Iowa that make six-figures a year and if we can just get to the right person in Iowa no doubt we will be hired in a Helluva hurry…and kept around whether we FAIL at our jobs or not!

Who is dumber….the folks at LSU that can’t move a football game one day forward or the folks at Iowa that pay a football coach millions of dollars for mediocrity and just hired a president that in our opinion that doesn’t know his ass from the side of a barn when it comes to run a major state university?

It’s Iowa by an eyelash!

The N-O Man: The University of Iowa’s new president has no experience, no ideas, and flubbed his own resume, Kembrew McLeod, Slate.com

Oh, these are just Complete Freaking Idiots at the University of Iowa!

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19.  Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – As we said last week in the Preseason Coaches Hot Seat Ranking Analysis we were hoping for a…

Herculean Effort

…by Mike MacIntyre and the Colorado Buffs in 2015 and what in the Hell did the CU Buffs do in the first game against Hawaii?

The CU Buffs looked like Complete Freaking Buffoons at the opening of the game against the Warriors and it really looked like the head coach and coaching staff showed up at the first game on the sideline without coaching during August camp at all!

Geez….Mike MacIntyre…what in the Hell is going on in Boulder son?

Our recommendation for Colorado head coach Mike MacIntyre: Get things fixed with your football team this week against UMass because if you lose that Week 3 game to Colorado State which has a first-year head coach in Mike Bobo the rest of the 2015 football season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster especially with the Oregon Ducks coming to town on October 3.

If Colorado somehow lost to UMass this Saturday in Boulder Mike MacIntyre and the entire CU coaching staff should be fired before they leave the field and a local high school staff should be hired to coach the rest of the season!

Memo to Mike MacIntyre:  Get Off Your Ass Son!

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20.  Mike Leach, Washington StateReally Mike Leach?

Lose to Portland State in the home opening game in Pullman?

Really Mike Leach?

Your Football Team looked like SHIT on Saturday Mike Leach and since we know you can coach we can only draw ONE conclusion after that pitiful loss to Portland State:

Mike Leach just no longer gives a SHIT because his Washington State football team now plays like SHIT!

In Mike Leach’s last 15 football games at Washington State the Cougars are…

3 – 12

…and those 3 wins last season were over….

Portland State
Utah
Oregon State

Oh…Portland State and Oregon State had losing records last year so in the last 15 games Mike Leach has beaten…

1 Team with a winning record

…and anyone that recalls the Washington State – Utah game from last season knows it took a miracle for the Cougars to win that game!

What is going on at Washington State exactly with Mike Leach?

Well…it’s just our opinion…but Mike Leach was always a terrible fit for Pullman, Washington because look at where Mike Leach was living when he could live anywhere he wanted to live…

Key West, Florida

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Still…Mike Leach won a lot of football games at Texas Tech in Lubbock, Texas which isn’t Key West, Florida either so there really is no excuse for Mike Leach to be losing to Portland State in the first game of this third season at Washington State so then just what in the Hell is going on in Pullman?

We think we know BUT we are going to hold our tongue and watch and see IF…

Mike Leach and Washington State just flat out QUIT in 2015 after the opening season loss OR if they come back strong this week in a very tough game at Rutgers.

Your choice Mike Leach and Washington State BUT if Mike Leach does fail at Washington State he will be remembered as…

The Football Coach that got run out of Lubbock

AND

The Football Coach that QUIT in Pullman

Great thing is Mike Leach will be able to determine how this story ends and if it ends badly whether we like Mike Leach or not if the current trend continues in Pullman we will light Mike Leach’s ass up!

Is everyone reading the Coaches Hot Seat Blog starting to understand that we are TOUGHEST on the people we expect the most from?

That’s way ALL alumni and fans should be….don’t accept anything less than…

EXCELLENCE

…and you have a Helluva lot better chance of actually getting…

EXCELLENCE!

21 – 30 Post Week Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!