Tag Archive: Steve Spurrier

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Saturday, August 24, 2019 – Steve Spurrier

Head Ball Coach: My Life in Football, Doing It Differently–and Winning, Steve Spurrier & Buddy Martin, Amazon.com

“I know the critics are out there. That’s why they’re called critics. They criticize every chance they get.”

And

“People ask, ‘Why are you still coaching?’ I forgot to get fired and I’m not going to cheat.”

And

“So, I didn’t say we are going to win a lot, but we are going to play like winners, and we’ve got a plan in place to teach our guys how to play like winners and play like a champion.”

And

“I don’t want to coach too far into my 60s. By then, I’ll be playing golf four or five times a week.”

And

“But as coaches, we need to get a little more fire and passion and be more demanding that our guys get the job done. I think players will respond to that, and we’ll see.”

And

On the Death Valley nickname: “Most of our guys have never been to Death Valley. (LSU’s stadium) is the Death Valley, isn’t it? Or is there another one? There’s two of them. That’s right. There’s two Death Valleys.”

And

On the state of the South Carolina program (widely attributed, but probably not an original): “We aren’t LSU and we aren’t Alabama. But we sure ain’t Clemson.”

And

On Dabo Swinney’s anger over the above quote: “I said, ‘Well, what do you want me to do? I didn’t say it.’ Smart people don’t believe everything they read, and they don’t believe hearsay. … I guess Dabo believed it.”

And

On a fire at the football dorm that destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

And

On scandal in Tallahassee: “You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”

And

On illegal hits against Danny Wuerffel: “He’s like a New Testament person. He gets slapped up side the face, and turns the other cheek and says, ‘Lord, forgive them for they know not what they’re doing.’ I’m probably more of an Old Testament guy. You spear our guy in the earhole, we think we’re supposed to spear you in the earhole. That’s kind of where we’re a little different.”

And

On recruiting: “In 12 years at Florida, I don’t think we ever signed a kid from the state of Alabama … Of course, we found out later that the scholarships they were giving out at Alabama were worth a whole lot more than ours.”

And

On the Vols missing out on the Sugar Bowl during his Florida years: “You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”

And

On Peyton Manning: “I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.”

And

On playing the Dawgs early: “I don’t know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

And

On Georgia recruiting: “Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don’t understand that. What happens to them?”

And

On South Carolina’s 52-7 win over the Razorbacks: “I do feel badly for Arkansas. That’s no fun getting your butt beat at home, homecoming and all that.”

And

On the Gamecocks’ matchup at Tennessee “Will be the 14th time I’ve coached in Neyland Stadium. … I’ve coached there more than some of their head coaches.”

And

On his age: “The Pope is 77 years old and he’s in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.”

Wikipedia:  Steve Spurrier

(more…)

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Saturday, October 29, 2016 – Steve Spurrier

 

SteveSpurrier1188118

Head Ball Coach: My Life in Football, Doing It Differently–and Winning, Steve Spurrier & Buddy Martin, Amazon.com

“I know the critics are out there. That’s why they’re called critics. They criticize every chance they get.”

And

“People ask, ‘Why are you still coaching?’ I forgot to get fired and I’m not going to cheat.”

And

“So, I didn’t say we are going to win a lot, but we are going to play like winners, and we’ve got a plan in place to teach our guys how to play like winners and play like a champion.”

And

“I don’t want to coach too far into my 60s. By then, I’ll be playing golf four or five times a week.”

And

“But as coaches, we need to get a little more fire and passion and be more demanding that our guys get the job done. I think players will respond to that, and we’ll see.”

And

On the Death Valley nickname: “Most of our guys have never been to Death Valley. (LSU’s stadium) is the Death Valley, isn’t it? Or is there another one? There’s two of them. That’s right. There’s two Death Valleys.”

And

On the state of the South Carolina program (widely attributed, but probably not an original): “We aren’t LSU and we aren’t Alabama. But we sure ain’t Clemson.”

And

On Dabo Swinney’s anger over the above quote: “I said, ‘Well, what do you want me to do? I didn’t say it.’ Smart people don’t believe everything they read, and they don’t believe hearsay. … I guess Dabo believed it.”

And

On a fire at the football dorm that destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

And

On scandal in Tallahassee: “You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”

And

On illegal hits against Danny Wuerffel: “He’s like a New Testament person. He gets slapped up side the face, and turns the other cheek and says, ‘Lord, forgive them for they know not what they’re doing.’ I’m probably more of an Old Testament guy. You spear our guy in the earhole, we think we’re supposed to spear you in the earhole. That’s kind of where we’re a little different.”

And

On recruiting: “In 12 years at Florida, I don’t think we ever signed a kid from the state of Alabama … Of course, we found out later that the scholarships they were giving out at Alabama were worth a whole lot more than ours.”

And

On the Vols missing out on the Sugar Bowl during his Florida years: “You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”

And

On Peyton Manning: “I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.”

And

On playing the Dawgs early: “I don’t know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

And

On Georgia recruiting: “Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don’t understand that. What happens to them?”

And

On South Carolina’s 52-7 win over the Razorbacks: “I do feel badly for Arkansas. That’s no fun getting your butt beat at home, homecoming and all that.”

And

On the Gamecocks’ matchup at Tennessee “Will be the 14th time I’ve coached in Neyland Stadium. … I’ve coached there more than some of their head coaches.”

And

On his age: “The Pope is 77 years old and he’s in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.”

Wikipedia:  Steve Spurrier

(more…)

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Sunday, August 14, 2016 – Steve Spurrier

 

SteveSpurrier1188118

Head Ball Coach: My Life in Football, Doing It Differently–and Winning, Steve Spurrier & Buddy Martin, Amazon.com

“I know the critics are out there. That’s why they’re called critics. They criticize every chance they get.”

And

“People ask, ‘Why are you still coaching?’ I forgot to get fired and I’m not going to cheat.”

And

“So, I didn’t say we are going to win a lot, but we are going to play like winners, and we’ve got a plan in place to teach our guys how to play like winners and play like a champion.”

And

“I don’t want to coach too far into my 60s. By then, I’ll be playing golf four or five times a week.”

And

“But as coaches, we need to get a little more fire and passion and be more demanding that our guys get the job done. I think players will respond to that, and we’ll see.”

And

On the Death Valley nickname: “Most of our guys have never been to Death Valley. (LSU’s stadium) is the Death Valley, isn’t it? Or is there another one? There’s two of them. That’s right. There’s two Death Valleys.”

And

On the state of the South Carolina program (widely attributed, but probably not an original): “We aren’t LSU and we aren’t Alabama. But we sure ain’t Clemson.”

And

On Dabo Swinney’s anger over the above quote: “I said, ‘Well, what do you want me to do? I didn’t say it.’ Smart people don’t believe everything they read, and they don’t believe hearsay. … I guess Dabo believed it.”

And

On a fire at the football dorm that destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

And

On scandal in Tallahassee: “You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”

And

On illegal hits against Danny Wuerffel: “He’s like a New Testament person. He gets slapped up side the face, and turns the other cheek and says, ‘Lord, forgive them for they know not what they’re doing.’ I’m probably more of an Old Testament guy. You spear our guy in the earhole, we think we’re supposed to spear you in the earhole. That’s kind of where we’re a little different.”

And

On recruiting: “In 12 years at Florida, I don’t think we ever signed a kid from the state of Alabama … Of course, we found out later that the scholarships they were giving out at Alabama were worth a whole lot more than ours.”

And

On the Vols missing out on the Sugar Bowl during his Florida years: “You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”

And

On Peyton Manning: “I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.”

And

On playing the Dawgs early: “I don’t know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

And

On Georgia recruiting: “Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don’t understand that. What happens to them?”

And

On South Carolina’s 52-7 win over the Razorbacks: “I do feel badly for Arkansas. That’s no fun getting your butt beat at home, homecoming and all that.”

And

On the Gamecocks’ matchup at Tennessee “Will be the 14th time I’ve coached in Neyland Stadium. … I’ve coached there more than some of their head coaches.”

And

On his age: “The Pope is 77 years old and he’s in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.”

Wikipedia:  Steve Spurrier

(more…)

It’s “Fish Or Cut Bait Time” for Will Muschamp at South Carolina…and if Muschamp Doesn’t “Get It Done” in Columbia His Head Coaching Career Will Be Over…Before He Hits the Age of 50! – Happy Birthday to the Head Ball Coach Steve Spurrier! 71 Years Young Today! – The Late Great Lewis Grizzard and An Eternal Truth…You Are Missed Lewis But NEVER Forgotten!

 

In the 16 or so years since Will Muschamp first ran into Nick Saban in Atlanta….which if we remember right was around 2000 at a high school football game or camp at the Georgia Dome….Muschamp has made quite a few stops including at LSU, Miami Dolphins, Auburn, Texas, the Florida head coaching job, and now the South Carolina head coaching job, and as they say in the South it’s now….

Fish or Cut Bait Time for Will Muschamp

….because if Will Muschamp doesn’t get it done at South Carolina NOW his head coaching career will be over before he hits the age of 50!

WillMuschamp1717171

What exactly does….

“Get It Done”

….mean in the context of being successful at South Carolina which in recent years has seen some success under Steve Spurrier…who by the way turns 71 years old today on April 20…so Happy Birthday to the Head Ball Coach who is now 71 years young!

SteveSpurrier181999000

In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat if we were hired as the athletic director at South Carolina today we would call Will Muschamp into our office and outline how we would define his time at USC as a “success” or not in the following way:

Running a clean program that did not break ANY NCAA rules

Graduating most if not all of the South Carolina football players

A .500 or plus record and bowl game trip EVERY YEAR

A Top 3 finish in the SEC East EVERY YEAR

Win the SEC East ONCE every THREE YEARS

Win the SEC Conference Championship ONCE every SEVEN YEARS

Can Will Muschamp meet the expectations as described above that Coaches Hot Seat as the AD at South Carolina has set for him going forward?

SteveSpurreirFlorida81181

Well….let’s see how Steve Spurrier would have done against the above expectations…who in our opinion is one of the Top 5 All-Time Head Coaches in SEC Football history:

YES = Running a clean program that did not break ANY NCAA rules

YES = Graduating most if not all of the South Carolina football players

9 out of 11 years so NO = A .500 or plus record and bowl game trip EVERY YEAR

6 out of 11 years so NO = A Top 3 finish in the SEC East EVERY YEAR

1 out of 11 years so NO = Win the SEC East ONCE every THREE YEARS

0 out of 11 years so NO = Win the SEC Conference Championship ONCE every SEVEN YEARS

So let’s see here…Steve Spurrier…a Top 5 All-Time Head Coach in SEC History did not meet our expectations for South Carolina football and Will Muschamp who is sitting on a head coaching record in four years at Florida of…

Overall:  28 – 21

SEC:  17 – 15

….will meet our expectations in Columbia?

Not Very Damn Likely!

Before we get to what Will Muschamp faces in the 2016 football season at South Carolina, let us first say that Muschamp does have one very Damn good thing going for him and that is…

South Carolina is in the SEC Eastern Division

….which is a division where even a slightly-elevated performance on a consistent basis above the norm by Tennessee, Florida, Georgia, Missouri, or South Carolina who can all get plenty of talent on campus to win lots of football games can lead to an extended run that would lead to many appearances in the SEC Championship Game as the SEC Eastern Division Champ and as Carl Spackler….Bill Murray….said in Caddyshack…..Will Muschamp has….

“That going for him…which is nice!”

Will Muschamp, South Carolina

WillMuschamp22992

1 st season at South Carolina

Overall Head Coaching Record (Florida): 28 – 21

SEC (Florida): 17 – 15

The First and Primary Question for Will Muschamp as of today is: How many games does Will Muschamp need to win at South Carolina in 2016 to get his ass off the Hot Seat and to build some momentum for the future in Columbia?

Let’s go to South Carolina’s 2016 schedule to answer that question:

At Vanderbilt
At Mississippi State
East Carolina
At Kentucky
Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

BozoTheClown771177

OK….Bozo the Clown or ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

2 Football Games

….coaching South Carolina in 2016 BUT as we look at the rest of the Gamecocks schedule this coming season we are beginning to think that…

Will Muschamp will be Very Damn Lucky to coach South Carolina to 6+ wins in 2016!

With that in mind IF Will Muschamp can get SIX wins in 2016 and get the Gamecocks to a bowl game we would call that a significant achievement which would get Muschamp off the Hot Seat heading into the 2017 football season BUT if we had to guess right now how many games the Gamecocks will win in the upcoming season we would guess…

4 Wins!

Memo to Will Muschamp and South Carolina AD Ray Tanner:  If South Carolina only wins FOUR football games in 2016 BOTH of your asses will be roasting come December which we guess would lead to…

Ray Tanner being forced to resign as the AD at South Carolina before Christmas

AND

Will Muschamp entering the 2017 college football season on one of the Hottest Seats in the American Republic!

With all of the above being said we can only wish….

Good Luck to Coach Boom and South Carolina in 2016

….and remind Will Muschamp and everyone else of the wise words of the Late Great Lewis Grizzard:

LewisGrizzard1111

“Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

Post Championship Week – End of College Football Regular Season Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Will Muschamp to South Carolina Edition – The College Football Regular Season Is Over Johnny Cash…..But There Is One New Head Football Coach At South Carolina That You Are Very Familiar With That Needs To Be Told the Unvarnished Truth! Give Will Muschamp Hell Mr. Cash!

 

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

The College Football Regular Season Is Over Johnny Cash…..But There Is One New Head Football Coach At South Carolina That You Are Very Familiar With That Needs To Be Told the Unvarnished Truth! Give Will Muschamp Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Championship Week – End of College Football Regular Season Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Will Muschamp to South Carolina Edition 

WillMuschamp22992

There were only a couple of changes to the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings after Post Championship Week – End of the College Football Regular Season games over the weekend BUT last week when we started to hear last week that…

South Carolina might actually hire Will Muschamp

…we knew that there would be a new Number 1 Head Coach on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings if indeed….

South Carolina AD Ray Tanner was STUPID enough to hire Will Muschamp

RayTanner82818

…and indeed Will Muschamp has been hired at South Carolina and now joins a list of…

The WORST Head Coaches Hires in Recent College Football History

….including…

Charlie Weis at Notre Dame
Charlie Weis at Kansas
Lane Kiffin at Tennessee
Lane Kiffin at USC
Mike Riley at Nebraska
…among others (see below)

…and there is a REAL debate within Coaches Hot Seat that indeed…

Will Muschamp is the WORST hire in Modern Day College Football which we date from the…

1983 College Football Season FORWARD

…otherwise known here at Coaches Hot Seat as…

The Post Bear Bryant Era of College Football

To understand what a Completely STUPID hire that Will Muschamp is at South Carolina one must go inside Muschamp’s win/loss numbers at Florida just like we recently did with Les Miles at LSU which showed both why Les Miles was and remains on the Hot Seat today and the numbers for Miles at LSU show that…

Over the past 20 SEC Games that Les Miles has coached at LSU against SEC teams with .500 or better records Miles’ record is 10 – 10

LesMiles811818

….which at a place like LSU are CLEAR Firing Numbers unless of course you are someone that believes LSU Football should be AVERAGE!

FloridaField81818

Likewise….looking at Will Muschamp’s FOUR Years at Florida between 2011 – 2014 which everyone would agree is a Top 10 College Football Program at WORST the record reveals that Will Muschamp posted records of…

Overall:  28 – 21

SEC:  17 – 15

….which are AVERAGE AT BEST and by themselves should have precluded Will Muschamp from being hired at another SEC Conference school especially a school in the SEC East Division BUT when one goes inside the above numbers one will find nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster during Will Muschamp’s FOUR Years at Florida

…and a Complete Understanding of our opinion that…

South Carolina AD Ray Tanner is one of the Stupidest Damn Human Beings now alive on Planet Earth

JoeFriday888

The FACTS as Joe Friday used to say on Dragnet….

In the FOUR Years that Will Muschamp coached Florida his team played…

49 Total Football Games at Florida

…..and Muschamp coached….

45 Total Football Games Against FBS Teams

…and in those 45 Total Games Against FBS Teams Will Muschamp and Florida faced…

33 FBS Teams with .500 or better records in the year Florida played them

….and in those 33 games against FBS Teams with .500 or better records in the year that Florida played them Will Muschamp posted a win/loss record of…

11 – 22  (.333)

Even WORSE when one realizes that Will Muschamp has STUPIDLY been hired at an SEC school in South Carolina which is in the SEC East and will be facing Florida on a yearly basis in the FOUR Years that Will Muschamp was the head coach at Florida the Gators played….

22 SEC Teams with .500 or better records in the year Florida played them

….and against those 22 SEC Teams with .500 or better records in the year that Florida played them Will Muschamp posted a record of…

7 – 15  (.318)

Please…is there ANYONE with a working brain that can explain to us how South Carolina AD arrived at the point where he even CONSIDERED hiring Will Muschamp at South Carolina forget about hiring Muschamp?

We didn’t think ANYONE with a working brain could come up with a reason to justify why Will Muschamp was EVER on South Carolina’s potential new head coaches list EXCEPT that Ray Tanner may be such…

A Complete and Total Idiot

…that like former Tennessee AD Mike Hamilton Ray Tanner might have listened to a Complete Moron that lives in Memphis, Tennessee who is not qualified to Shovel Shit in our opinion and what is Mike Hamilton doing today after hiring Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley?

We don’t have a clue but he was FIRED Years ago as the AD at Tennessee for making Complete and Totally Idiot decisions and with that mind…

Welcome to the Complete and Total Idiot Club Ray Tanner!

RayTanner82818

Even worse than the FACT that Will Muschamp posted…

.333 winning percentage against FBS teams with .500 or better records

AND

.318 winning percentage against SEC teams with .500 or better records

…it’s out opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that Will Muschamp is…

Unfit to be a college football coach on ANY level and especially a head football coach on the FBS level because very simply in our opinion…

Will Muschamp is an Out-of-Control Whack Job that we would not hire to Shovel Shit because we would be afraid that Muschamp would get mad and start hitting people on the head with his Shit Shovel!

We have a Helluva lot more we could write in this spot about Will Muschamp that we have picked-up from people at Florida and Auburn over the past few years but we are going to hold onto those things for a future date when we are confident they will come in handy when writing about Muschamp’s tenure at South Carolina.

One thing we can do is update our….

Worst Head Coaching Hires in the Post-Bear Bryant College Football History

….which we put out a few weeks and has now been updated to include Ray Tanner’s STUPID hiring of Will Muschamp at South Carolina:

1. Charlie Weis, Kansas

2. Will Muschamp, South Carolina

3. Charlie Weis, Notre Dame

4. Gerry Faust, Notre Dame

5. Bill Callahan, Nebraska

6. Lane Kiffin, Tennessee

7. Lane Kiffin, USC

8. Mike Riley, Nebraska

9. Mike Price, Alabama

10. Howard Schnellenberger, Oklahoma

11. Ron Zook, Florida

Damn….when you are even above the hiring of Charlie Weis at Notre Dame on the….

Worst Head Coaching Hires in the Post-Bear Bryant College Football History

…you have made a Helluva BAD Head Coaching hire and we are confident that Will Muschamp will prove us right by his win/loss record at South Carolina and even more importantly by his…

Outrageous and Over-the-Top Whack Job Behavior

…which in our opinion should have disqualified Muschamp from ANY coaching position in college football which was on dramatic display for ANYONE that was paying attention to see in the recent Iron Bowl between Alabama and Auburn.

RayTanner82818

Memo to South Carolina AD Ray Tanner:  We believed you to be a Pompous Arrogant Ass a few years ago when you called Paul Finebaum and cried about Finebaum criticizing Jadeveon Clowney which Finebaum WRONGLY apologized for since Clowney was in our opinion and ANYONE else that was paying attention NOT playing hard in his last year at South Carolina BUT now that you have hired Will Muschamp in our opinion Ray….

You Are a Pompous Arrogant Ass that also is a Complete and Total Idiot!

….that has No Damn Business being an Athletic Director ANYWHERE in intercollegiate athletics….in our humble opinion.

Signed:  Coaches Hot Seat

A couple of other notes before we leave the IDIOCY of Will Muschamp being hired at South Carolina we couldn’t help but laugh when we read over the last few days that…

Steve Spurrier supported the hiring of Will Muschamp at South Carolina

…and since we know that Steve Spurrier is one of the most competitive men now alive on Earth can anyone imagine why Spurrier would want Muschamp to follow him at South Carolina?

Think along the same reason why Spurrier left in midseason so he wouldn’t have that…

3 – 9 record that South Carolina posted in 2015 on his ledger

…and wasn’t that early resignation by Spurrier supposed to also be about giving Ray Tanner plenty of time to hire the next head coach at USC and who did Tanner end with after ALL that time?

Will Freaking Muschamp!

SteveSpurrier181999000

Yes….Steve Spurrier will be sitting back in the next few years watching South Carolina fully implode under Muschamp and be saying to anyone that will listen…

“See….only the Old Ball Coach could make the Gamecocks competitive!”

…..in our opinion at least as we laugh out loud at the Idiocy that “Spurrier supports the hiring of Will Muschamp at South Carolina!”

As for who we here at Coaches Hot Seat would have hired at South Carolina instead of Muschamp that would be ANY college coach in America since we would NEVER hire Will Muschamp at ANY position football-related or ANYTHIGN else but to get specific South Carolina was NUTS not to hire..

Dino Babers, was at Bowling Green now at Syracuse

Jeff Brohm, Western Kentucky

Scott Satterfield, Appalachian State

Matt Campbell, Toledo

Mike Leach, Washington State

Todd Monken, Southern Miss

Matt Rhule, Temple

Willie Taggart, South Florida

Tommy Tuberville, Cincinnati

Bob Diaco, Connecticut

Rod Carey, Northern Illinois

Willie Fritz, Georgia Southern

Craig Bohl, Wyoming

Bob Stitt, Montana

John Grass, Jacksonville State

Chris Klieman, North Dakota State

…just to name a few of the coaches we would have hired at South Carolina but then we here at Coaches Hot Seat are not…

Complete and Total Idiots on top of being Pompous Arrogant Asses

…as is South Carolina AD Ray Tanner….in our humble opinion of course.

The Retirement of Steve Spurrier = Head Ball Coach – Post Week 6 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 10 – 20 Hot Seat Head Coaches – The Hot Seat Is Not A Fun Place To Be For These Hot Seat Coaches But Turn Up The Heat Up On Them A Little More Johnny Cash!

 

The Retirement of Steve Spurrier = Head Ball Coach

SteveSpurrier181999000

Several Coaches Hot Seat members happened to be in the San Francisco Bay area last night after a weekend of watching college football and taking their families to see the US Navy and Blue Angels at Fleet Week over and around San Francisco Bay and they were having dinner last night at a Cheesecake Factory in Marin County just north of San Francisco when the news broke that…

Steve Spurrier was retiring

It wasn’t lost on those Coaches Hot Seat members that they were also together having dinner together in that same Cheesecake Factory in Marin County in November 2011 when it was announced that Joe Paterno had been fired by Penn State and both the Paterno firing and Spurrier retirement left all of us with that shocked feeling that imprints on one’s brain the time and place where one first learned about those two events. Both Joe Paterno and Steve Spurrier are LEGENDS in the history of college football in America and both are true American Originals which is saying something in a world where so many people are afraid to be who they really are…no worries on that front with JoePa and the Head Ball Coach who were true to themselves and WINNERS in every sense of the word to the end!

Mayport818181

We could write a Helluva lot in this spot about Steve Spurrier right now and we have written a Helluva lot about the Head Ball Coach over the past NINE college football seasons that Coaches Hot Seat has been following this great game BUT by far TWO Coaches Hot Seat members first encounter with Coach Spurrier is the most memorable story of all:

In the spring of 1990 two Coaches Hot Seat members were serving in the US Navy in Jacksonville, Florida and were looking for a house to rent and answered an ad in the newspaper…..this was long before the Internet was invented by Al Gore young folks so yes a newspaper….so they called up the phone number and the guy renting the house said he would be there that afternoon and to just drive over and see the place.

The two Coaches Hot Seat members drove over to the rental house which was just a couple of blocks from the Atlantic Ocean in Jacksonville Beach, Florida and found no one out front and no one answered the door so they walked around back and there they saw an older man moving a garbage can that had what looked like an empty keg in it with several other empty kegs also sitting on the back deck. This older man turns towards the two Coaches Hot Seat members when he sees them and he has on a t-shirt that looked something like this:

Gators282882

The two Coaches Hot Seat members introduced themselves and then one said to the older man:

Coaches Hot Seat Member: “You a big Florida football fan?”

Older Man: “Hell yes….been one since I was a student there in the 1960s. You guys know who Steve Spurrier is?”

Coaches Hot Seat Member: “The new Florida head football coach.”

Older Man: “Very good son. That’s right and I was at Florida when Steve won the Heisman Trophy and we are going to win a Helluva lot of football games once Steve gets things rolling in Gainesville! So you boys looking for a house to rent?”

Coaches Hot Seat Member: “Yes, sir and we are huge college football fans.”

Older Man looks over the two young men who are clean-cut and obviously in the US Navy: “Great….go ahead and look around the house and bring me out a cold beer that is in the fridge when you come back out. We had a party here last night and there are a few cases of beer left in the fridge that you two can keep if you rent the house.”

The two Coaches Hot Seat members both said “Great” and then took a quick look around the house which at $1,000 a month was a bargain with it being only two blocks from the beach so they came back out and told the Older Man that they would take the house and they all sat on the back deck and talked about college football and drink cold beers for the next few hours.

SteveSpurreirFlorida81181

To make a long story short the Older Man took the two Coaches Hot Seat members down to Gainesville in August when Florida football started their first Fall camp under Steve Spurrier and a “friend” of the Older Man who worked in Florida athletic department and who will remain nameless for obvious reasons to at least some folks took the two Coaches Hot Seat members out to the practice field where they got to meet Steve Spurrier and they watched the Gators practice for awhile.

Not long after watching Spurrier working with the Florida quarterbacks one Coaches Hot Seat member said out loud to no one in particular:

“Florida is going to be throwing the ball all over the field under Spurrier and that is going to create chaos in the SEC.”

As many in the media have pointed out over the last 25 years….Steve Spurrier’s Fun-N-Gun offense at Florida did just that….created chaos…and what GREAT fun it was to watch and follow the Head Ball Coach for the past 25-plus years and make that 40-plus years for the Coaches Hot Seat members that are just barely old enough to remember Spurrier playing quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers for nine seasons between 1967 and 1975 after being selected in the First Round and Third overall in the 1967 NFL Draft.

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There is so very Damn much that dozens of Coaches Hot Seat members would like to write in this spot about Coach Spurrier BUT what all of those sentiments boil down to is this….

Thanks Head Ball Coach….for Everything…and Best of Luck to you in Retirement.

OK…with the Head Ball Coach now in retirement and his ass off the Hot Seat let’s get to the….

Post Week 6 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 10 – 20 Hot Seat Head Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

The Hot Seat Is Not A Fun Place To Be For These Hot Seat Coaches But Turn Up The Heat Up On Them A Little More Johnny Cash!

Post Week 6 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

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10.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – With a very predictable loss to Ole Miss on Saturday New Mexico State and their head coach fell to…

0 – 5

….on the season and there is a very good chance the Aggies don’t win a game in 2015 with these games remaining to be played:

At Georgia Southern
Troy
Idaho
At Texas State
At La. Lafayette
Arkansas State
At La. Monroe

Hell, we will go ahead and predict New Mexico State will be 0 – 11 when the travel to play at La. Monroe on December 5 and that is a game that the Aggies might just be able to win!

As for the subject of a report on ESPN we caught over the weekend about the long-term losing that has dominated New Mexico State football in recent years it’s our opinion if NMSU hired the RIGHT coach that they could win again and when we say RIGHT coach we mean a young and up-and-coming coach that is hungry as Hell to make his mark in the world.

Is Doug Martin “hungry as Hell to make his mark in the world?”

In our opinion….NO.

11.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – Idaho had a bye in Week 6 and the 1 – 4 Vandals get back at things this Saturday with a game at Troy which has a first-year head coach who is now sitting on a record of 1 – 4 also so this is a game that Paul Petrino’s football team COULD win if they play like Hell and leave the porridge at the door!

What does “play like Hell and leave the porridge at the door” mean exactly?

Nothing…we just made it up and we are thinking it means that if you leave the porridge at the door you will not be worried about eating but rather you will be playing like Hell while taking names and kicking ass!

Memo to Paul Petrino:  Play like Hell and leave the porridge at the door against Troy!

12.  Trent Miles, Georgia State – As expected Georgia State lost to Appalachian State…

37 – 3

….on Saturday which drops Trent Miles win/loss records at Georgia State to:

Overall:  2 – 27

Sun Belt:  1 – 16

With a road trip to play MAC Conference team Ball State up next we can only say…

Norm Chow

13.  Norm Chow, Hawaii – The losses just keep coming for Norm Chow at Hawaii with San Diego State being the latest team to beat the Warriors this past Saturday in The Islands which leaves Chow’s win/loss records at Hawaii now at:

Overall:  10 – 33

MWC:  4 – 22

Geez….this kind of losing CANNOT continue at Hawaii even if Norm Chow is a nice guy…right? RIGHT…we think!

Not that we have ever discussed with Norm Chow getting fired by Pete Carroll at USC after the 2004 season so Carroll could elevate Steve Sarkisian and Lane Kiffin BUT it would be interesting now to ask Norm what he thinks of the two…

BOYS and most certainly not MEN

….flameouts at USC in Kiffin and now Sarkisian which has been nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster for the very proud folks around the USC football program.

Just our opinion…..Norm Chow’s firing by Pete Carroll after the 2004 season was one of the Top 5 Stupidest Decisions in college football in the last 50 years which was only made worse by the reality that people outside the USC football program came to believe that Lane Kiffin and Steve Sarkisian were actually qualified to lead an NFL or college football program when in our opinion both are barely qualified to shovel shit in West Texas not that we would hire either to shovel shit since those two Dumbasses would probably mess that easy Damn job up as well!

Up next for Hawaii a game at New Mexico which is a game that the Warriors should have a chance to win but with TEN wins in FOUR seasons on the job who the Hell knows what Hawaii will do against the Lobos…we sure the Hell don’t know!

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14.  Charlie Strong, Texas – It was great fun watching Charlie Strong’s Texas football team put a whipping on Big Choke Bob Stoops Sooners on Saturday and that celebration at the end of game by the Texas players and Charlie was EPIC!

Congrats Charlie and the Texas Longhorns!

Now back to reality….the Texas Longhorns are now at 2 – 4 on the season and they host Kansas State a week from Saturday after a bye and beating the Wildcats is…

CRITICAL

…because of what is left on the schedule after KSU…

At Iowa State
Kansas
At West Virginia
Texas Tech
At Baylor

OK….Texas in our opinion can beat if they continue to play with a lot of passion and pride as they did against Big Choke Bob Stoops and the Sooners…

Kansas State
Iowa State
Kansas

…which would give the Longhorns FIVE wins on the season but can Texas beat…

West Virginia
Texas Tech
Baylor

In our opinion NO which means Charlie Strong and the Longhorns are staring right at a record of…

5 – 7

…on the season and Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat heading into the offseason unless of course Charlie Strong and his agent slide into another college head coaching job somewhere not that we would recommend that if Charlie can stand the heat in Austin!

Congrats again Charlie and keep it up!

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15.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – With Auburn on a bye in Week 6 the troubles of Gus Malzahn and the Auburn Tigers receded from the public eye BUT a MASSIVE game on Thursday night against an improving Kentucky Wildcats team is just beyond HUGE for Gus Malzahn’s future because a loss in this spot would drop the Tigers’ records in 2015 to…

3 – 3 Overall

0 – 3 in SEC Play

…with Auburn still having to play these games:

At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion…if Auburn loses to Kentucky the Tigers will end the 2015 season at…

4 – 8

…..and even worse…

0 – 8

….in SEC Conference play and the last Auburn coach that produced an O-FER in SEC Conference play was shown the door in early December which would be one Gene Chizik after the 2012 season.

YES…Kentucky is the BIGGEST game of Gus Malzahn’s young coaching career.

16.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming – With yet another loss…this time to Air Force…Wyoming and head coach Craig Bohl dropped to…

0 – 6

…on the season and things don’t get any easier with Nevada coming to Laramie this coming Saturday.

Could Wyoming really go 0 – 12 in Craig Bohl’s second season coaching the Cowboys?

EASILY!

Craig Bohl = Nice Guy…Very Good Football Coach…Took Wrong Job at the Wrong Time…PERIOD.

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17.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Before people continue their crying around the idea that Nebraska has lost FOUR games on their opponents last play in 2015 we must say that this Nebraska football team is filled with talent and there is just No Damn Reason why the Huskers did not go ahead and put away…

BYU
Miami
Illinois
Wisconsin

….long before they allowed the opposing team to win on the last play of those games although the last two losses were totally on the Nebraska coaching staff starting with head coach Mike Riley who just failed their players tremendously against Illinois and Wisconsin.

Nebraska is now 2 – 4 on the season and still has to play games against….

At Minnesota
Northwestern
At Purdue
Michigan State
At Rutgers
Iowa

Best Case Win/Loss Record for Nebraska in 2015 = 7 – 5 – While not great by Nebraska standards if the Huskers win five of their last six games that will be a nice recovery for Mike Riley after a disastrous start in Lincoln.

Worst Case Win/Loss Record for Nebraska in 2015 = 2 – 10 – Yes….Nebraska COULD lose their last six games and finish at 2 – 10 which if it did happen would lead to the firing of Mike Riley and Nebraska AD Shawn Eichorst in early December.

Our Best Guess of the Win/Loss Record for Nebraska in 2015 = 5 – 7 – Yes, we see the Huskers winning three of their remaining six games and finishing with a losing record for only the THIRD time since 1962 which is 53 years for those slow on the uptake with those other TWO losing seasons coming under Bill Callahan who was one of the worst head coaching hires in college football history.

What would happen in Nebraska if the Huskers finished with a losing season in 2015 when they averaged winning NINE games a season under Bo Pelini?

Well…Nebraska fans are now to some extent used to average football and losing even dating back to when Frank Solich was sent packing after the 2003 season so what is another 5 – 7 season although IF we were in Nebraska and were Husker fans and our team went 5 – 7 we would be chewing some butt of someone for Damn sure!

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18.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – Butch Jones got a badly needed win over Georgia on Saturday and the Vols are now at 3 – 3 on the season with these games left to be played after a bye in Week 7:

At Alabama
At Kentucky
South Carolina
North Texas
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

In our opinion if Tennessee can beat Georgia and should have beaten Oklahoma, Florida, and Arkansas we see no Damn reason at all why the Vols don’t win at least…

7 if not 8 games in 2015!

What will get Butch Jones OFF the Hot Seat?

7 Wins Minimum not that we would be impressed with 7 Wins but that would get Butch Jones OFF the Hot Seat.

19.  Todd Berry, La. Monroe – With a 34 – 24 loss to Tulsa on Saturday Todd Berry’s La. Monroe team dropped to 1 – 4 on the season and the Warhawks still have to play in 2015:

Appalachian State
At Idaho
At La. Lafayette
At Troy
Arkansas State
At Texas State
At Hawaii
New Mexico State

Hell…La. Monroe SHOULD win at least 5 of its last 8 games and get to 6 – 7 on the season at the worst and there is Todd Berry’s task…

Get to 6 Wins in 2015!

And if La. Monroe doesn’t get to SIX wins and Todd Berry’s overall record at the school drops to something like….

31 – 43

….in SIX seasons coaching the Warhawks then Katy Bar the Door come December whether Katy leaves the porridge at the door or not!

20.  Chuck Martin, Miami (OH) – What the Hell is up Chuck Martin because this Loss, after Loss, after Loss, after Loss is getting old son which included yet another LOSS by Miami (OH) to Ohio on Saturday which drops Chuck Martin’s win/loss records to…

Overall:  3 – 15

MAC:  2 – 8

Up next for Chuck Martin and Miami (OH)…

Northern Illinois

Good Luck with that Chuck!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Tuesday, October 13, 2015 – Steve Spurrier

 

Thanks for a Helluva Life Lived Very Well Head Ball Coach!  Have Fun in Retirement!  See you at Lake Tahoe next Summer! 

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“I know the critics are out there. That’s why they’re called critics. They criticize every chance they get.”

And

“People ask, ‘Why are you still coaching?’ I forgot to get fired and I’m not going to cheat.”

And

“So, I didn’t say we are going to win a lot, but we are going to play like winners, and we’ve got a plan in place to teach our guys how to play like winners and play like a champion.”

And

“I don’t want to coach too far into my 60s. By then, I’ll be playing golf four or five times a week.”

And

“But as coaches, we need to get a little more fire and passion and be more demanding that our guys get the job done. I think players will respond to that, and we’ll see.”

And

On the Death Valley nickname: “Most of our guys have never been to Death Valley. (LSU’s stadium) is the Death Valley, isn’t it? Or is there another one? There’s two of them. That’s right. There’s two Death Valleys.”

And

On the state of the South Carolina program (widely attributed, but probably not an original): “We aren’t LSU and we aren’t Alabama. But we sure ain’t Clemson.”

And

On Dabo Swinney’s anger over the above quote: “I said, ‘Well, what do you want me to do? I didn’t say it.’ Smart people don’t believe everything they read, and they don’t believe hearsay. … I guess Dabo believed it.”

And

On a fire at the football dorm that destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.”

And

On scandal in Tallahassee: “You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University.”

And

On illegal hits against Danny Wuerffel: “He’s like a New Testament person. He gets slapped up side the face, and turns the other cheek and says, ‘Lord, forgive them for they know not what they’re doing.’ I’m probably more of an Old Testament guy. You spear our guy in the earhole, we think we’re supposed to spear you in the earhole. That’s kind of where we’re a little different.”

And

On recruiting: “In 12 years at Florida, I don’t think we ever signed a kid from the state of Alabama … Of course, we found out later that the scholarships they were giving out at Alabama were worth a whole lot more than ours.”

And

On the Vols missing out on the Sugar Bowl during his Florida years: “You can’t spell Citrus without U-T.”

And

On Peyton Manning: “I know why Peyton came back for his senior year. He wanted to be a three-time star of the Citrus Bowl.”

And

On playing the Dawgs early: “I don’t know. I sort of always liked playing them that second game because you could always count on them having two or three key players suspended.”

And

On Georgia recruiting: “Why is it that during recruiting season they sign all the great players, but when it comes time to play the game, we have all the great players? I don’t understand that. What happens to them?”

And

On South Carolina’s 52-7 win over the Razorbacks: “I do feel badly for Arkansas. That’s no fun getting your butt beat at home, homecoming and all that.”

And

On the Gamecocks’ matchup at Tennessee “Will be the 14th time I’ve coached in Neyland Stadium. … I’ve coached there more than some of their head coaches.”

And

On his age: “The Pope is 77 years old and he’s in charge of a billion people. All I have to do is put 11 on the field.”

Wikipedia:  Steve Spurrier

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

ShakespeareSevenAges

Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 10 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

OK…let’s get to the Post Week 2 – 10 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches which means bringing in again the Late Great Johnny Cash!

WillieTaggart81818

11.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – South Florida looked OK at times against Florida State on Saturday BUT the Seminoles didn’t look very motivated in that game in the first half which means it’s hard to judge USF’s effort in Tallahassee BUT that will not be the case this coming Saturday when South Florida plays a very beatable team in Maryland in College Park, MD with the Terps coming off an upset loss to Bowling Green.

With an overall record of…

7 – 19

….on the board in his third season at South Florida Willie Taggart needs some wins and as we look at the rest of USF’s schedule….

At Maryland
Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

…we see NO Damn reason why USF does not win at least 5 of their last 6 games and get bowl eligible in 2015!

We are sick of seeing you on the Hot Seat Willie Taggart so get off your ass and get your team ready to play and beat Maryland Willie!

ToddMonken272772

12.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss team got their CUPCAKE win over Austin Peay on Saturday by a score of 52 – 6 and now comes a HUGE football game for the future of Monken in Hattiesburg as the Golden Eagles travel on the road to play Texas State which is a game that USM should win based upon the history of both of these football programs. With a game at Nebraska lined-up for Week 4 a win against Texas State is a MUST for Todd Monken and Southern Miss in Week 3 and a loss in this spot will just mean….

The Heat will just get HOTTER for Todd Monken!

AlGolden711771

13.  Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and his Miami Hurricanes got the win they had to have over Florida Atlantic last Friday night and now the REAL football season and a very tough schedule begins for the Canes in a run of games that will determine Al Golden’s future in South Florida.

Check-out Miami’s remaining schedule with the Canes now sitting at 2 – 0:

Nebraska
At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
Clemson
At Duke
Virginia
At North Carolina
Georgia Tech
At Pitt

Our contacts in South Florida who admittedly aren’t exactly tied into the Miami football program since they live in West Palm Beach and Jupiter, Florida and play professional golf for a living tell us that anything less than…

9 Wins in 2015

…and Al Golden is DONE at Miami which means Al Golden needs his Miami team to win 7 of their last 10 games and since this is Miami we are talking about here IF Al Golden can’t get that 9 wins he should be DONE in Coral Gables!

14.  Trent Miles, Georgia State – In a match-up of two of the worst teams in FBS college football a hearty Congratulations are in order to Trent Miles on the Georgia State football team with a win over a Pitiful New Mexico State team on Saturday! Here’s the BAD news for Trent Miles and Georgia State…..their next game is…

At Oregon!

This is Trent Miles third season at Georgia State and we are looking for a “jump” of some kind over the ONE game that GSU won in Miles first two seasons at GSU and with these games remaining to be played…..

At Oregon
Liberty
Appalachian State
At Ball State2
At Arkansas State
La – Lafayette
At Texas State
South Alabama
Troy
At Georgia Southern

…we see No Damn Reason at all why Georgia State doesn’t win FOUR-plus games in 2015 and with that we can only say to Trent Miles…

Good Luck against the Ducks!

CharlieStrong288118

15.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Charlie Strong’s Texas Longhorns beat Rice on Saturday by a score of…

42 – 28

….which in most of the last glorious 100-plus years of Texas football would have meant about as much as a tumble weed blowing through the west Texas plains and now we get back to football for the Horns with a decent Cal team traveling to Austin in what is clearly…

The Biggest Game of Charlie Strong’s Coaching Career!

IF Texas does lose to Cal on Saturday and drops to 1 – 2 in non-conference play with the Big 12 Conference schedule beginning a week later with a game against Oklahoma State there is a very good chance that Texas does NOT get to 6 wins in 2015 and if that happens then about ANYTHING could happen in Austin come December including Charlie Strong being written a BIG check to go find something else to do with his life on this Earth.

On a somewhat related subject Scout.com’s Chip Brown is continuing to do some great reporting on the Complete Freaking Disaster that has been Texas athletic director Steve Patterson’s tenure in Austin….

Sources: Fenves weighing Patterson’s future, Chip Brown, Scout.com

….to which we can only say in response to…

Please is there anyone that can explain to us here at Coaches Hot Seat how in the Hell that Steve Patterson is still the AD at Texas?

Read the Great John Canzano in The Oregonian newspaper on the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being that is Steve Patterson:

Steve Patterson and Texas…theater worth watching again, John Canzano, The Oregonian

As for who should be the next AD at Texas we know someone who would be a GREAT and Helluva AD for Texas especially in the Disaster that Steve Patterson has created in Austin and although we are hesitant to nominate this sitting AD for the Texas job because we don’t want to hurt his chances BUT if we were running the University of Texas we would be hiring as new Texas AD….

Arizona AD Greg Byrne

Memo to Univ. of Texas President Gregory Fenves: Fire Steve Patterson’s Sorry Ass already and hire Greg Byrne already to lead the Texas athletic department!

Arizona AD Greg Byrne was destined to enter family business, Steve Rivera, Fox Sports Arizona

16.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State – With a loss to Air Force in Colorado Springs on Saturday Ron Caragher’s San Jose State team dropped to 1 – 1 on the year and Caragher’s win/loss records at SJSU in three years at the school now stand at:

Overall:  10 – 16

MWC:  7 – 10

Sorry…the above win/loss records are NOT going to get the job done even at San Jose State and from what we have heard from the San Jose area Ron Caragher needs 6 wins in 2015 to return as the head coach of the Spartans in 2016 and with this schedule remaining…

At Oregon State
Fresno State
At Auburn
At UNLV
San Diego State
New Mexico
BYU
At Nevada
At Hawaii
Boise State

….we see No Damn Reason at all why San Jose State shouldn’t be able to win….

5 of their last 10 games

…and with that in mind get to work Ron Caragher!

Norm Chow

17.  Norm Chow, Hawaii – No one thought that Hawaii had any chance to beat Ohio State in Columbus BUT we did expect the Warriors to at least put a few points up on the board instead of a big fat ZERO and now returning home Norm Chow needs to regroup his team and make sure they get win over FCS team UC Davis this coming Saturday.

With NO winning seasons in his first three years on the job at Hawaii Norm Chow REALLY needs to lead the Warriors to a bowl game in 2015 and that means Chow needs to find 6 more wins out of their remaining 11 games:

UC Davis
At Wisconsin
At Boise State
San Diego State
At New Mexico
At Nevada
Air Force
At UNLV
Fresno State
San Jose State
La. Monroe

Hell, if Norm Chow and Hawaii can’t win 6 of their last 11 games then why in the Hell would Norm Chow remain the head coach at Hawaii?

There is no good answer to the above question!

GeorgeOleary271717

18.  George O’Leary, UCF – Several Coaches Hot Seat members got to see UCF play Stanford in person on Saturday night on The Farm and their impression of UCF was….

UCF is mediocre at best and hardly even coached at worst!

Oh, but the above makes Perfect Damn Sense with UCF head coach George O’Leary worrying about coming the permanent AD at UCF instead of coaching his football team and No Damn Surprise UCF has started the 2015 season off at…

0 – 2

….with losses to FIU and Stanford and now UCF gets a CUPCAKE game against Furman before playing in a…

Hot Seat Coach vs. Hot Seat Coach

….match-up in Columbia, South Carolina with O’Leary facing off against the increasingly embattled Old Ball Coach…YEP Old Ball Coach….Steve Spurrier!

Who loses when UCF plays South Carolina in two weeks or so?

The poor folks who are the stadium is who loses when UCF plays South Carolina on September 26 in Columbia!

ALA @ USC

19.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – South Carolina looked very Damn average against North Carolina in Week 1 and in Week 2 the Gamecocks looked totally out-of-sorts at times against Kentucky and even worse Steve Spurrier…

Looked Old

….which brings to mind The Byrds song from when Steve Spurrier was still a student and football player at the University of Florida…

Turn, Turn, Turn

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”

Readers of the Bible…not Donald Trump for Damn sure…will recognize the lyrics of Turn, Turn, Turn which are almost verbatim from the Book of Ecclesiastes verse 3 1 – 8 and the TRUTH is barring a major miracle Steve Spurrier’s legendary coaching career is OVER and that TRUTH could be displayed for everyone to see with South Carolina traveling to Athens on Saturday to play the Georgia Bulldogs.

No doubt Mark Richt will not run-up the score on the Old Ball Coach if things get out-of-hand in Athens on Saturday night and for Damn sure Steve Spurrier will know full-well or not if Mark Richt is taking it easy against his old foe and that reality will kill the Old Ball Coach worse than anything else in the world!

BrianKelly171717

20.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Even before starting Notre Dame quarterback Malik Zaire got hurt the Hapless Virginia Cavaliers had the Irish on the ropes and if not for yet another Total Collapse of UVA football under Mike London it would be Brian Kelly sitting on one of the Hottest Seats in the country right now which is truly another episode of the Luck of the Irish with this “Luck” being Totally Incompetent Coaching by Notre Dame’s opponent!

Up next for Notre Dame…

Georgia Tech at home and we await to see what kind of “Luck” the Irish will get this week to beat the Yellow Jackets because no doubt Paul Johnson will do something STUPID as well to give away this game to the Irish!

Let’s take a quick look at Notre Dame’s remaining schedule and guess how many wins the Irish will have in 2015 now sitting at 2 – 0:

Georgia Tech
UMass
At Clemson
Navy
USC
At Temple
At Pitt
Wake Forest
Boston College
At Stanford

Our guess…Notre Dame wins EIGHT games in 2015 and if the Irish only win EIGHT games in 2015 Brian Kelly WILL BE FIRED shortly after the Stanford game on November 28….PERIOD…and a sitting NFL coach who happens to be Catholic will be the next head football coach of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.