Tag Archive: Tom Herman

2018 Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking – Let’s Bring Out The Great Johnny Cash To Get Things Rolling! Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Time does fly and the 2018 College Football Season marks the 12 th year of the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings and recently a Coaches Hot Seat member said…

“We cranked this thing up in 2007 when Saban got to Alabama and Hell we might as well keep it going for as long as Nick is still alive and working for a living in Tuscaloosa!”

Amen and that should be thru the 2022 season…right Nick?

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling! Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

2018 Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

1.  Urban Meyer, Ohio State – When the story about Zach Smith broke at Ohio State several weeks back we called a long-time friend of ours in Columbus and asked him what he thought of Smith and his opinion and what he said to us was:

“He’s a punk.”

We asked: “Would you like to expand on that?”

“Nope….just…he’s a punk.”

After watching the ESPN interview with Zach Smith we had the same exact opinion and whatever happened between Smith and his wife in what seems like a very bitter marriage on both sides when you read the report that Ohio State produced on the Zach Smith – Urban Meyer situation we could not help but wonder how Meyer kept his job keeping such a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being on his staff for so long not only risking his own job but the entire Ohio State football program for….”a punk!”

The entire story just makes no freaking sense even if you understand Smith is Earle Bruce’s grandson because where we come from the children of legends are held to a higher standard not a lower one and with that in mind and realizing what went on at Florida under Urban Meyer there is still a chance something else could come out on this entire Smith + Meyer issue in the coming weeks and all it would take is one piece of information to confirm that years ago Meyer also knew Smith was a “punk” and kept him on staff….and maybe for an interesting reason.

Who knows and we shall see about all that so Urban Meyer enters the 2018 College Football Season on the #1 Hot Seat and we will hold him to the same standard as any other coach which includes not only how his football team plays on the field but how the coach runs the football program and manages himself…and his coaches!

After the win over hapless Oregon State the Buckeyes have left in 2018:

Rutgers – without Meyer
TCU – without Meyer
Tulane
At Penn State
Indiana
Minnesota
At Purdue
Nebraska
At Michigan State
At Maryland
Michigan

Only Alabama has more talent on their roster than Ohio State and without the entire Smith – Meyer self-inflicted disaster we would guess 12 – 0 for the Buckeyes in 2018…with the Smith – Meyer self-inflicted disaster our guess for OSU in 2018 >

10 – 2

2.  David Beaty, Kansas – It’s just impossible to explain why now fired Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger’s hired Charlie Weis and David Beaty to coach the Kansas football team unless Zenger is Mentally Insane or a Damn Moron or he just….

Doesn’t Know A Damn Thing About The Game Of Football

…and our guess it was a combination of the last 2 on why he hired Weis and Beaty when there were at least 20 coaches that would have been Home Run hires for the Jayhawks many of which didn’t even get a call!

In 4 seasons at Kansas David Beaty has posted records of…

Overall:  3 – 34

Big 12:  1 – 26

…and those 3 wins are over:

Rhode Island
Texas
SE Missouri State

Add to this tale of horrors the opening season loss to Nicholls in 2018 and we don’t think there’s a chance in Hell that Kansas wins a game this season with these games left to play:

At Central Michigan
Rutgers
At Baylor
Oklahoma State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
TCU
Iowa State
At Kansas State
At Oklahoma
Texas

NOPE….Kansas will be 0 – 12 in 2018 and will be hiring a new head football coach come December and we can think of 10+ coaches that would be GREAT hires at the school and we have to think new KU AD Jeff Long will look at few of them but will Jeff hire someone who can bring some much needed energy and offensive fire-power to Lawrence?

Maybe…Jeff Long is not an Idiot…far from it…but he did hire Bielema at Arkansas when he could have had the better version of Bobby Petrino in Jeff Brohm so maybe Long will make a hiring mistake at a place that has had a Helluva Lot of hiring mistakes in the last 40 years!

3.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – The train wreck that is now Texas football is partially responsible for the Total Disaster in Lubbock which keeps rolling down the tracks because Tom Herman’s Horns let Kingsbury and Tech come into Austin in the last regular season game of 2017 and beat Texas which got the Red Raiders to 6 wins….not that 6 wins in your FIFTH season on the job should let Kingsbury keep his job…but it did and the….

Total Disaster in Lubbock Train Keeps-A-Rolling In Lubbock!

Mike Leach and Tommy Tuberville were the two head coaches at Texas Tech before Kingsbury got to Lubbock and below are their average wins per season numbers at Tech:

Mike Leach:  8.4

Tommy Tuberville:  6.67

Kliff Kingsbury has averaged….

6 wins per season

…and if that can keep you employed in Lubbock….Geez….that’s a low and embarrassing bar for football at Texas Tech!

Now at 0 – 1 Texas Tech has left on its schedule in 2018:

Lamar
Houston
At Oklahoma State
West Virginia
At TCU
Kansas
At Iowa State
Oklahoma
Texas
At Kansas State
Baylor

That looks like 3 – 9 or 4 – 8 to us and a pretty good job in Texas Tech opening up in early December at the latest!

4.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – Many of us got to see Jim Harbaugh up close and personal when he was coaching Stanford and even the San Francisco 49ers but we haven’t had the ability to know what exactly has been going on at Michigan since Jimmy took the job in 2015. That changed earlier this year when a good friend of ours took a job at the University of Michigan that we have known for 20+ years, and he has for the last several months been feeding us lots of interesting information on what has been going on with Michigan Football and its information we can use because this guy knows the game of football.

Before we get to what our good friend has been telling us about Jimmy and Blue for the last several months we must be upfront and honest and say…

We like Jim Harbaugh and want him to succeed at Michigan

….and although we didn’t agree with some of the things he did with the 49ers like benching Alex Smith for Colin Kaepernick or letting Aldon Smith off easy after several incidents including a DUI which just made Smith’s life worse as anyone paying attention can see we can start anew and we did start anew when Jim took the Michigan job and we have pulled for him and his team in every game.

With the loss to Notre Dame Jim Harbaugh has now coached 40 games at Michigan and his record after those 40 games is….

28 – 12  (.700)

Not too bad you might say….well let’s see what the records were of Jim’s predecessors at Michigan after 40 games on the job:

Brady Hoke:  27 – 13

Rich Rodriguez:  15 – 22 (didn’t make it to 40 games!)

Lloyd Carr:  30 – 10

Gary Moeller:  31 – 6 – 3

Bo Schembechler:  35 – 5

Considering the Millions of Dollars that Michigan is paying Jim Harbaugh and considering not only his 28 – 12 record after 40 games and his 1 – 6 record in CRITICAL rivalry games one would think that Jim’s record would be closer to Bo’s than Brady Hoke’s and for Damn sure in the first game of Jim’s FOURTH year at Michigan one would expect a little better effort in their opening game against Notre Dame…but NO…it was a Pitiful Effort for the most part against the Irish!

Getting back to our friend who went to at least 10 Stanford games with us when Jim was coaching the Cardinal who is now in Ann Arbor, he has been poking around the Michigan Football program a bit and he joined us at Lake Tahoe in August for a week and on the first night we sat down and asked him a very simple question:

What the Hell is going on with Michigan under Harbaugh?”

Ann Arbor Friend:  I resisted my first thought for a long time but there’s little doubt in my mind now that Jim has lost the passion and fire he had for football at Stanford and certainly at the 49ers for awhile and that has seeped into the entire team and program and that is why in my opinion the team has looked so lackluster, unmotivated, almost un-coached at times in last couple of years.

We all just sat their quiet for a few seconds without anyone saying a word no doubt each of us thinking back to some of Michigan’s games the last couple of seasons and also no doubt in our minds also there’s something going on with Jim Harbaugh. We haven’t a clue what it is, but whatever is going on whether it is an outside influence or force or it is something internal Jim seems to have lost his passion and fire for football and many of things we saw at Stanford including taking care of every little detail combined with a deep passion for football is what drove Jim Harbaugh in life…and it’s just gone now in our opinion based upon what we have seen with our own eyes and what our friend on the ground in Ann Arbor at this moment is telling us.

What exactly does that mean for the immediate future of Michigan football?

It’s hard to say, but now at 0 – 1 with the below games still left to be played this is going to be one TOUGH season for the Wolverines!

Western Michigan
SMU
Nebraska
At Northwestern
Maryland
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Rutgers
Indiana
At Ohio State

Michigan has everything it needs to beat every team left on its scheduled save Ohio State in Columbus but if we had to guess we would say Blue will lose the following games…

At Northwestern
Wisconsin
At Michigan State
Penn State
At Ohio State

You add in loss to Notre Dame and that’s SIX losses so let’s say Michigan only loses 4 of the above games…..that’s FIVE losses….and we have some news for Jim Harbaugh….

You cannot survive a 7 – 5 season in your FOURTH season at Michigan with each season getting worse in number of wins!

Not that we would bother Jimmy but if we could bother him right now the #1 thing we would tell him is….

Find Your Passion For The Game Of Football Again Son

….NO not for Horseshit around the game but for FOOTBALL and that is your means of salvation out of the funk that Michigan Football is now in!

Also the offensive playcalling is a Freaking Disaster and we don’t see anyone on the Michigan offensive staff that has a Damn Clue how to call plays so maybe you should call plays Jimmy!

Good Luck Son!

5.  Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora hasn’t exactly been tearing things up in Chapel Hill as the head football coach at UNC the last six seasons….save 2015….posting records of:

2012:  8 – 4
2013:  7 – 6
2014:  6 – 7
2015:  11 – 3
2016:  8 – 5
2017:  3 – 9

With the loss to California to start the 2018 season Fedora is now…

10 – 17

….in his last 27 games coaching the Tar Heels and that’s a run that cannot continue or North Carolina will be looking for a new head coach come December and there’s a pretty good one up the road at Appalachian State in Scott Satterfield who no doubt love a shot at the UNC job who is just one of a dozen quality head and assistant coaches that would walk to Chapel Hill to coach the Tar Heels!

Now at 0 – 1 after the loss to Cal the Tar Heels have left in 2018:

At East Carolina
UCF
Pitt
At Miami
Virginia Tech
At Syracuse
At Virginia
Georgia Tech
At Duke
Western Carolina
NC State

Geez….that’s a TOUGH remaining schedule and after posting a record of 3 – 9 in 2017 one would think Fedora would have to get to 6 wins in 2018 to hang onto his job….Hell…he might need 7 wins in his SEVENTH year on the job at UNC to return and coach in 2019.

6. Willie Taggart, Florida State – We don’t have a Damn Clue what Willie Taggart and the Florida State coaching staff has been doing the last 8 months in getting FSU ready for the 2018 football season but from where we sat….

They were not doing a Damn thing

….because that was just flat-out a Damn embarrassment on Monday night against Virginia Tech for the Seminoles and Willie better Damn get this thing straightened out or he might find his ass out of a job and Lane Kiffin coaching Florida State before Willie can even get settled in Tallahassee! Oh…that Lane Kiffin to Florida State idea was given to us by an FSU-alum we have know since the late 1980s when couple of us lived in Florida who called us on the way home from the Va. Tech – FSU game and was ripping Willie Taggart and the FSU coaching staff for nothing short of a Total Freaking Disaster…and he is right….it was a Total Freaking Disaster!

Looking at what Florida State has left on its 2018 schedule if the 0 – 1 Seminoles play like they did against Virginia Tech….

Samford
At Syracuse
Northern Illinois
At Louisville
At Miami
Wake Forest
Clemson
At NC State
At Notre Dame
Boston College
Florida

…they will be LUCKY to win 5 games and if FSU wins less than 5 games Willie Taggart will be fired in early December especially if Lane Kiffin is sitting on another 10+ win season at FAU, and it will not matter One Damn Iota what the buyout is because that was Freaking Coaching Malpractice against Virginia Tech with the FSU coaches actually make the players worse than if they had just coached themselves!

Get Off Your Damn Ass Willie!

7.  Kalani Sitake, BYU – It was nice to see Kalani Sitake get a solid win over Arizona on Saturday night because we personally like Coach Sitake and hope he succeeds at BYU just as all our Good Mormon friends in Utah do but just like our Good Mormon friends in Utah we are not going to tolerate BYU Football being Average or Below Average and thus why this is such a CRITCAL year for Sitake to get this ship righted!

With the win over the Wildcats Sitake’s record at BYU now stands at….

14 – 13

….and the Cougars have left to play in 2018:

Cal
At Wisconsin
McNeese
At Washington
Utah State
Hawaii
Northern Illinois
At Boise State
At UMass
New Mexico State
At Utah

That’s a pretty tough remaining schedule for BYU but we have it on pretty good authority that if Sitake can get to 6 wins in 2018 and thus the Cougars back to a bowl game there’s a better than “90% chance” that Sitake returns to coach BYU in 2019….but less than 6 wins….there’s a ”90% chance BYU makes a coaching change” so the Cougars need to find 5 more wins in their remaining 11 games.

Not easy….but certainly doable if BYU Football has improved on their 4 – 9 Total Disaster from a season ago!

8.  Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – Luke Fickell and his Cincinnati football team got a Must Win over a lackluster UCLA team to open the 2018 season but the Bearcats will need to keep things rolling to get their head coach off the Hot Seat and here’s what they have coming up:

At Miami, Ohio
Alabama A&M
Ohio
At UConn
Tulane
At Temple
At SMU
Navy
USF
At UCF
East Carolina

It’s a kind of a tough schedule but Cincinnati should be able to win at least 6 games in 2018 with 1 win already on the board and if they don’t win 6 games this season…..

Pitiful….Just Pitiful!

9.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – It was a challenge for Lovie Smith’s Illini to beat a below average Kent State team at home on Saturday in Smith’s 25 th game coaching Illinois which adds up to records in 3 seasons at the school of:

Overall:  6 – 19

Big Ten:  2 – 16

Now at 1 – 0 Illinois has left to play in 2018….

Western Illinois
USF
Penn State
At Rutgers
Purdue
At Wisconsin
At Maryland
Minnesota
At Nebraska
Iowa
At Northwestern

…and if you can barely beat Kent State how many of the above games can Illini win in 2018?

Our guess…maybe 2 or 3…tops 4!

We will go 4 – 8 for Illini in 2018 and a new head football coach at Illinois by Christmas!

10.  Tom Herman, Texas – We have 2 long-term fishing buddies in Austin who are Texas-alums that we have fished all over Texas with the last 20 or so years and after Texas lost to Maryland on Saturday we called one of those fishing buddies to get his take on the situation at Texas with head coach Tom Herman now sitting on records of….

Overall:  7 – 7

Big 12:  5 – 4

…and his response was:

“If Tom Herman is going to be an Arrogant Ass that’s OK with me…but he better start Damn winning some football games because he won’t last long being an Arrogant Ass and an Average Coach!”

We took that “he won’t last long” meaning that if Tom Herman doesn’t show significant improvement in 2018 the alums might start looking for a new head coach that is NOT…

An Arrogant Ass AND Can Win Some Football Games

…and with that in mind let’s see what the 0 – 1 Horns have left in 2018:

Tulsa
USC
TCU
At Kansas State
Oklahoma
Baylor
At Oklahoma State
West Virginia
At Texas Tech
Iowa State
At Kansas

We cannot see how Texas wins less than 8 games in 2018 with Tulsa and Kansas on the schedule but if Herman has improved Texas over that Pitiful Performance in 2017 then 9 wins seems like the mark that Herman needs to hit when you factor in that he is an Arrogant Ass!

Arrogant Asses have to win ONE more game a season to stay off the Hot Seat than Non-Arrogant Asses is how the rule works!

10 CFB Head Coaches Facing MUST WIN Games in Week 2 – 10 Coaches + Teams That Need To Take It To The Limit! – Thank You Randy!

 

It’s early in the college football season being only Week 2 but there are 10 CFB Head Coaches facing MUST WIN Games and with that in mind we ask the Eagles and Randy Meisner to motivate these Coaches + Teams To Take It To the Limit to get a win in these games. Bring It Randy Meisner!

Thank You Randy!

Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Georgia – In Brian Kelly’s last 15 games as the head coach at Notre Dame he has posted a record of….

5 – 10

….and after an opening with win over Temple the very last Damn thing Brian Kelly needs is a 2 nd year coach in Kirby Smart to bring a Georgia team into South Bend and beat the Irish. Looking at the rest of Notre Dame’s schedule after the Dawgs we only see one maybe “Sure Win” in Miami (OH) at home September 30, and with Kelly needing 10+ wins to be back as the head coach of the Irish in 2018 a loss to Georgia in this spot would nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster!

No…the Irish faithful will not be happy if Georgia beats Notre Dame on Saturday!

Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. TCU – Bret Bielema’s overall coaching win/loss numbers at Arkansas are shocking enough at…

Overall:  26 – 26

SEC:  10 – 22

…but consider the following number for Bielema in his 5 years at Arkansas….his win/loss record against FBS teams:

14 – 25

Damn! Bret Bielema who is making around $4.5 million dollars a year and if fired at the end of this season has a buyout in the $10M+ range has a record against FBS teams of…Yes….look at that number again Razorback fans even if you don’t want to….

14 – 25

….which is a winning percentage of…

.359

Double Damn!

Do you think this Saturday’s game against TCU is big for Bret Bielema with 8 SEC Conference games still left on the 2017 schedule?

You better Damn believe it is because if Bielema loses this game at home to TCU there will be no funny story that can be told to explain a record against FBS teams of….

14 – 26 = .350

….which as one can clearly see is only…

14 wins in Bielema’s first 40 games against FBS teams!

Hell, the first person you picked randomly out of the Fayetteville White Pages could have posted the Pitiful Record of coaching the Razorbacks to 14 wins against the first 40 FBS teams Arkansas played!

Rich Rodriguez, Arizona vs. Houston – Some amazing numbers that we never thought we would see associated with Rich Rodriguez is that over the past 3 seasons at Arizona counting the first game of 2017 Rodriguez has posted a record of…

11 – 15

….overall in his last 26 games and a record of…

4 – 14

…in Pac-12 play over the past two seasons and before conference play gets going in 2017 Arizona better Damn beat Houston at home on Saturday night or this could be a mighty long season indeed with 10 games left and none of them a walk in the park kind of game:

At UTEP
Utah
At Colorado
UCLA
At Cal
Washington State
At USC
Oregon State
At Oregon
At Arizona State

Expectations are never real high for Arizona Football so even 6 wins would probably keep RichRod in Arizona for another season, but less than 6 wins which would be two straight losing seasons and a Wildcat program headed in Totally the wrong Damn direction and Rich Rodriguez may find himself doing television work for the 2018 college football season back at CBS Sports in New York!

Yep…you better Damn beat Houston on Saturday night Rich!

Barry Odom, Missouri vs. South Carolina – Even with a 4 – 8 record overall and 2 – 6 record in SEC Conference play Barry Odom did a decent job coaching Missouri in his first season as a head coach in 2016, but in Year 2 the expectations are moved up a bit and we are expecting the Tigers to win at least 6 games and if Odom hopes to get his ass off the Hot Seat and beating South Carolina at home on Saturday is a MUST WIN if Mizzou is to get 6 wins with the below remaining games to be played after the Gamecocks:

Purdue
Auburn
At Kentucky
At Georgia
Idaho
At UConn
Florida
Tennessee
At Vanderbilt
At Arkansas

Nope….we see no way in Hell that Missouri gets to 6 wins in 2017 without beating South Carolina on Saturday so that equals MUST WIN Game for you Barry Odom!

Tony Sanchez, UNLV vs. Idaho – After the opening game debacle loss to Howard when we didn’t even know Howard had a football team it is CRITICAL that Tony Sanchez get the shipped righted at UNLV and quickly and find a way to beat Idaho on the road which will not be an easy game to win in a very tough place to play against a fast-improving Vandals football team under head coach Paul Petrino. Tony Sanchez’s win/loss record in his 3 rd year at UNLV now stands at…

7 – 18

….and a loss to Idaho with Ohio State on deck and the MWC slate of conference games in the hole would be a very bad look indeed…very Damn bad Tony!

Jim Mora, UCLA vs. Hawaii – Jim Mora avoided what could have been a Total Meltdown of the UCLA football program in Week 1 courtesy of Kevin Sumlin and the Texas A&M coaching staff which gave away a sure-fire win to the Bruins and may have saved UCLA’s season because if the Bruins don’t beat A&M the whole Damn thing may have fell apart in Westwood which saw UCLA come into the first game of the 2017 season with a record of….

5 – 11

….in their last 16 games and with that in mind that makes this week’s Hawaii game a MUST WIN because a loss in this spot with a trip to play Memphis in Memphis on deck and then Stanford on The Farm next we are talking about what could be the end of the 2017 campaign before things really get going for the Bruins.

UCLA has two to three times as much talent as Hawaii and there really would be no good excuse for the Bruins to lose to the Warriors at the Rose Bowl and if that doesn’t equal MUST WIN Game then nothing does!

Tom Herman, Texas vs. San Jose State – The Tom Herman era at Texas tries for new start in Week 2 after the Total Disaster loss to Maryland at home in Week 1 that saw a Texas team play a football game that looked like they were hardly coached at all and this Week 2 game is against San Jose State which also has a first year head coach so this is not a game that the Longhorns can possibly lose….right? Hell…who the Hell knows!

No way Texas loses to San Jose State in Austin….BUT if Texas did lose this game then Tom Herman’s ass would be hotter than a Texas Summer day deep in the month of August!

Don’t lose this game to San Jose State Tom Herman…because if you do you will be the laughingstock of the American sports world after the Texas Athletic Department has been telling anyone that would listen for the last 8 months that you are the Second Coming of Darrell Royal and Mack Brown all rolled into one! No…don’t lose this game Son!

David Beaty, Kansas vs. Central Michigan – David Beaty is now in his 3 rd season coaching the Kansas Jayhawks football team and if Beaty is actually coaching-up KU worth a Damn there is not a chance in Hell that his football team loses to a Central Michigan team at home in Lawrence on Saturday, and we are very interested to see how this game plays out and finishes up because there are a lot of folks claiming on the plains of Kansas that the Jayhawks are improving under Beaty…well if they are then KU should easily beat at MAC team at home….right? Damn Right!

Oh…Kansas plays another MAC team in Week 3 in a game at Ohio so if Kansas can’t beat Central Michigan at home there is not a chance in Hell that KU beats Ohio on the road and if KU can’t beat Ohio on the road there is not a chance in Hell they win a Big 12 Conference game in 2017 and we all know where this is going because if KU doesn’t win a Big 12 Conference game in 2017 David Beaty and a few other folks are going to get their asses run out of Lawrence, Kansas come December!

Mark Dantonio, Michigan State vs. Western Michigan – Things for Mark Dantonio and Michigan State have been going straight downhill since Spartans QB Connor Cook through an interception just before the half of the 2015 CFB Playoff Semi-Final Game against Alabama when Michigan State was trailing Bama by a score of only 10 – 0 and driving for a TD that could have made the score 10 – 7 at half and since that incredibly foolish interception by Cook the Spartans have posted a record of….

4 – 10

….and Mark Dantonio is one loss at home to Western Michigan at home to finding his ass squarely on the Hot Seat with Notre Dame at home on deck and the entire 2017 Big Ten schedule still to be played.

Check-Out Michigan State’s remaining schedule after playing Western Michigan on Saturday:

Notre Dame
Iowa
At Michigan
At Minnesota
Indiana
At Northwestern
Penn State
At Ohio State
Maryland
At Rutgers

Geez….Yep…Western Michigan is a MUST WIN Game if Michigan State is interested in getting to at least 6 wins in 2017 and a loss in this spot could see the Spartans spiral down again like they did last season which from that Connor Cook interception against Alabama forward would be one of the fastest falls of a major program in college football history!

Come on Coach Dantonio!

Mark Whipple, UMass vs. Old Dominion – If UMass can play Hawaii tough at home in Week Zero we see no reason at all that UMass can’t beat Old Dominion at home in Week 2 and this is MUST WIN Game for head coach Mark Whipple and UMass with road games at Temple and Tennessee in Weeks 3 and 4!

The 11th College Football Season of Coaches Hot Seat Kicks-Off! – 2017 Post Week One Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

 

Coaches Hot Seat was first dreamed up in October 2006 as a way to help force out then Stanford head football coach Walt Harris among a group of close friends who were having drinks at the Balboa Café in the Marina District of San Francisco, and here we are in September 2017 with Coaches Hot Seat now entering its 11 th college football season…a second decade now begins…with that same group of close friends tossing out their opinions from the peanut gallery about the relative status of college football head coaches job status vis-à-vis the warmth of their asses!

Coaches Hot Seat has been great fun from the start and has grown from a few close friends to over 170 members of Coaches Hot Seat now that mainly are members it seems to attend the annual Coaches Hot Seat Summer Clambake at Lake Tahoe each August where we have one Helluva great time talking football and the upcoming college football season and CHS members also help to shape the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings each week.

With that in mind let’s get to the business at hand which is the….

2017 Post Week One Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

…which means let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give the coaches on the Hot Seat a wake-up call!

Thank You Mr. Cash and away we go on the 11 th season of Coaches Hot Seat

1.  Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – If you thought watching the Total Meltdown of Kevin Sumlin and the Texas A&M coaching staff in the Rose Bowl on Sunday night was nothing short of a Total Disaster then watching a replay of the game only makes things worse because one could take a look at each play and see mistake….after mistake….after mistake…after mistake by Sumlin and the Aggies Coaches that flat-out….

Robbed the A&M players of what should have been a win over UCLA!

It’s easy to look at the second-half of the A&M – UCLA game and point to many Beyond Stupid mistakes made by Kevin Sumlin and the A&M coaching staff, but the Idiocy actually began in the first quarter with the Aggies up 7 – 3 and the Bruins fumbling the ball and an A&M player returning it to the 3 yard line which was followed by A&M OC Noel Mazzone calling the following plays:

Fade to Left-Side of the End Zone
Fade to Right-Side of the End Zone
2 Yard Run to 1 Yard Line

Followed by a field goal putting the Aggies up 10 – 3 over UCLA.

Why didn’t Aggies OC Noel Mazzone just run the Damn ball right down the Bruins throat from the 3 yard line you ask when A&M was gashing the Bruins for over 7 yards a carry in the game?

Damn Good Question but this is just the beginning of the Damn Idiocy that was capped off in the second-half by what we hear at Coaches Hot Seat believe to be…

A Series of the Stupidest Coaching Decisions in the History of College Football in America

…which at Texas A&M dates back to 1894!

By now everyone that follows college football closely must know that Texas A&M went up by the score of….

Aggies – 44
Bruins – 10

…after a field goal with 4:08 left in the 3 rd quarter of the game. At this point there should have been NO CHANCE IN HELL of UCLA winning this football game unless Kevin Sumlin and the A&M coaches committed a series of blunders that would make the Stupidest Human Beings on the Earth look like Mensa members and guess what….that is exactly what happened!

Following the Aggies field goal to pt them up 44 – 10 over UCLA the Bruins then scored in 2 minutes to make the score 44 – 17 with 2:06 left in the 3 rd Quarter and this is what Kevin Sumlin and his offensive coaches did the rest of the game leading to one of the great meltdowns in college football history:

Aggies Remaining Offensive Plays in the Game after up 44 – 17:

1. Run for no gain
2. Run for 6 yards
3. Incomplete Pass
4. Punt

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 24

5. Run for 1 yard
6. Incomplete Pas
7. Run for 14 yards
8. Run for 3 yards
9. Run for 8 yards
10. Complete Pass
11. Sack loss of 10 yards
12. Run for 1 yard
13. Punt

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 31

14. Pass Complete
15. Run for 6 yards
16. Incomplete Pass
17. Run for 12 yards
18. Run for 7 yards
19. Run for loss 1 yard

With ball on 16 yard line and a made field goal making the score 47 – 31 or a two TD and two 2-point conversion game Aggies OC Noel Mazzone calls a pass play and….

20. Sack for loss of 9 yards

…which leads to a 43 yard field goal miss by the Aggies kicker instead of what should have been at most a 32 yard field goal if not shorter if Noel Mazzone had just RUN THE DAMN BALL on third down!

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 38

21. Run for 2 yards
22. Incomplete Pass
23. Sack for loss of 5 yards
24. Punt

UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 45

The four plays in the last A&M series when the Aggies failed to get a first down are not that important because it was desperation time, but look the other plays above and see the Total Damn Idiocy especially when one realizes that at halftime A&M was averaging over….

6 Yards-Plus Per Run

….and in the second-half when the Aggies could have Stuff the Ball down the Bruins throats with their run game they not only called way Damn too many pass plays they also at the most critical time of the game when a made field goal would have at worst gotten the Aggies into overtime against UCLA a pass play was called with a true freshman QB on the field who not surprisingly took a big loss on a sack which led to a critical missed field goal and in our opinion….

This was level of Stupid Coaching that has not been seen in FBS Football since Charlie Weis was the head coach at Notre Dame!

In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat Kevin Sumlin did nothing less than GUT his own players by allowing his coaches to make one Stupid Damn Decision after another and for that he should have already been fired and the Aggies could have hired ANY high school coach on ANY level from ANYWHERE in the State of Texas and be the Aggies players would be getting better coaching today!

Let’s look at Kevin Sumlin’s records in six seasons at Texas A&M:

Overall: 44 – 22

SEC: 21 – 19

Against FBS Teams: 26 – 22

Against Group of 6 Teams: 12 – 0

Against FCS Teams: 6 – 0

Yep…take away the 18 Cupcakes that Keivn Sumlin has played and beat at A&M and we are talking about winning percentages of…

SEC: .525

Against FBS Teams: .542

…and for the above Very Average Records Kevin Sumlin has already been paid north of….

$25 Million Dollars

….and Texas A&M still owes Sumlin over $11 Million Dollars if they fired him today!

$35+ Million Dollars for a .542 record against FBS teams and .525 record in SEC play?

What kind of Damn Idiots are running Texas A&M University exactly?

Let’s not forget something else in this spot….

Last November at Kyle Field in College Station A&M led Ole Miss by 15 points entering the 4 th quarter before losing 29 – 28 and more to the point in Texas A&M last SIX games against FBS teams Kevin Sumlin’s record is…

0 – 6!

That’s right…Texas A&M has not beaten an FBS team since last October 8 when the Aggies beat Tennessee in double-overtime in College Station!

Luckily for Kevin Sumlin he is working at place….

Texas A&M University

…that embraces and celebrates AVERAGE and thus he can get away with winning percentages like…

.542 and .525

….and A&M has Nicholls and La. Lafayette to play at home in their next two games before playing Arkansas in Dallas on September 23 but then from Arkansas on it’s….

Arkansas (Dallas)
South Carolina
Alabama
At Florida
Mississippi State
Auburn
New Mexico
At Ole Miss
At LSU

…which to us looks like 7 or 8 wins for the Aggies in 2017 and based upon what the folks running Texas A&M have been willing to accept in the past maybe they will continue to accept…

Average

…now tied to the Complete Damn Stupidity of the UCLA game and the beat in College Station will go on for another year!

Be Proud Aggies…YOU are Average As Hell!

2.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – In the last two seasons at Arizona State Todd Graham has posted combined records of…

Overall: 11 – 14

Pac-12: 6 – 12

….and it seems clear from the noise coming out of Tempe that it’s going to probably take 8 wins plus in 2017 for Graham to be coaching the Sun Devils in 2018 and it wasn’t exactly a rousing start to this season in beating a very weak New Mexico State team 37 – 31, and if ASU plays like that the rest of the year there’s not a chance in Hell that Graham will be the head coach come December. Now at 1 – 0 on the year here is what ASU has left to play:

San Diego State
At Texas Tech
Oregon
At Stanford
Washington
At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

Can Todd Graham find 7 wins+ out of the Sun Devils remaining 11 games?

We don’t see it which means a very good job in Arizona State could be opening up come late November.

3.  Tony Sanchez, UNLV – The first time that anyone at Coaches Hot Seat ran into Tony Sanchez he was the head football coach at California High School in San Ramon, California which is in the East Bay of San Francisco and where Tony coached for five years before taking over and having a very successful run at Bishop Gorman High School in Las Vegas which led to him getting the UNLV job in 2015 which has led to the following records at UNLV after the disastrous opening season loss to the Howard University football team on Saturday night:

Overall: 7 – 18

MWC: 5 – 11

Those are not so great records for Tony Sanchez and the Rebels have left play this season….

At Idaho
At Ohio State
San Jose State
San Diego State
At Air Force
Utah State
At Fresno State
Hawaii
BYU
At New Mexico
At Nevada

…and it’s just a guess on our part with a new AD at UNLV on the job in Desiree Reed-Francois on the job who came over from Virginia Tech Sanchez is going to need 6-plus wins in 2017 to be the head coach of the Rebels in 2018, and if Sanchez can find 6 wins out of the above 11 remaining games he should return as the head coach at UNLV and get an extension on his contract as well!

4.  Mark Whipple, UMass – Since returning to coach at UMass in 2014 after an earlier stint coaching the Minutemen on the FCS level between 1998 – 2003 Mark Whipple has posted a record of…

Overall: 8 – 30

…over the last four seasons and an 0 – 2 start to 2017 with losses to Hawaii and Coastal Carolina doesn’t exactly give us confidence that Whipple will be the head coach at UMass when Santa shows up in late December!

What’s left for UMass this season:

Old Dominion – Loss
At Temple – Loss
At Tennessee – Loss
Ohio – Loss
At USF – Loss
Georgia Southern – Maybe Win
Appalachian State – Loss
At Mississippi State – Loss
Maine – Maybe Win
At BYU – Loss

That’s a 2 – 10 record at best in our minds for UMass in 2017 and more than likely a new head football coach for the Minutemen in 2018….in our humble opinion.

5.  Lance Leipold, Buffalo – Buffalo looked decent against Minnesota in the opening game of the season BUT in his third year on the job coaching the Bulls head coach Lance Leipold now has records of…

Overall: 7 – 18

MAC: 4 – 12

….on the board and we rather doubt that Leipold will be able to survive another losing season….but then this is Buffalo we are talking about and maybe Leipold can survive another sub .500 record and return to coach the Bulls again in 2018 which would be fine with us here at Coaches Hot Seat since we don’t have a dog in this fight or in any fight for that matter when it comes to Buffalo!

6.  Tom Herman, Texas – Earlier this year a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were down in Austin for business plus fishing with our Texas-alum buddies and over a BBQ dinner we asked how the Tom Herman-era was going and one of those UT-alums said….

“You mean the Cult of Tom Herman?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “The Cult of Tom Herman? What the Hell does that mean?”

UT Alum: “It means that everything within the Texas Athletic Department is set-up to promote Tom Herman in the public instead of the Texas Football Team.”

Coaches Hot Seat: “That’s a change from the past?”

UT Alum: “You kidding? Mack Brown and Charlie Strong put the focus on the players….Tom Herman seems interested in only one thing…Tom Herman’s Precious Ass!”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Now that’s Damn interesting.”

UT Alum: “It is and there’s no explaining it even in Texas which is full of people with big egos….but I cannot recall running into or seeing anyone operate with a bigger ego than Tom Herman who seems to believe he invented the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars!”

Coaches Hot Seat: “It will be interesting to see how that will play out during the season.”

UT Alum: “Well right now with everything focused on kissing Tom Herman’s ass I fully expect Texas to lose the opening game to Maryland!”

Memo to Tom Herman:  Get Over Yourself Son or your head coaching tenure at Texas or anywhere else will be over before it really gets going. Oh…welcome to the Hot Seat Son!

Texas has PLENTY OF TALENT to win 8 games in 2017 with the below schedule remaining….

San Jose State
At USC
At Iowa State
Kansas State
Oklahoma
Oklahoma State
At Baylor
At TCU
Kansas
At West Virginia
Texas Tech

…and if Tom Herman expects to get his ass off the Hot Seat he better Damn win 8 games-plus this season!

7.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Brian Kelly and the Irish got a nice win over a decent Temple team in Week 1 and now the 2017 season actually begins with a pretty good and very talented Georgia team coming to South Bend on Saturday evening. There’s a very good reason why Brian Kelly is on the Hot Seat and that is Kelly’s record over the past 5 seasons since Alabama BLASTED the Irish in the 2012-13 BCS National Title Game and that record is…

32 – 20 .615

…while averaging 7.75 wins per season and ANYTHING below 9 wins a season as head coach of Notre Dame your ass is AVERAGE and will place your ass on the…Yep…you got it…

Hot Seat!

We asked around with a few of our Notre Dame alum friends in the last few weeks how many wins that Brian Kelly needs to return to coach the Irish in 2018 and the consensus is…

10 wins-plus

….and we don’t think there is ANY chance of all of Notre Dame winning 10 games if the Irish lose to Georgia so Coach Hard Brian Kelly against the Dawgs!

8.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – Chris Ash’s Rutgers team played better against Washington they than the team played in almost any game in 2016 and now Ash will need to keep the improvement going in a HUGE and MUST WIN GAMES against Eastern Michigan at home on Saturday and then Morgan State on September 16 which would send the Scarlet Knights to Nebraska with a 2 – 1 record which would at least give Ash’s team some momentum and maybe his ass off the Hot Seat…or maybe not!

9.  Jim Mora, UCLA – We are not quite sure why the Hell the UCLA Bruins didn’t show up ready to play against Texas A&M on Sunday at the Rose Bowl but a Total Collapse by the Aggies plus a Bruins team that wouldn’t quit saved Mora from having the Hottest Seat in the America after Week 1 of the season and at least Jim Mora has that going for him!

Now at 1 – 0 on the season UCLA has left to play in 2017….

Hawaii
At Memphis
At Stanford
Colorado
At Arizona
Oregon
At Washington
At Utah
Arizona State
At USC
California

Damn…that’s a tough schedule and with Jim Mora needing at least 6 wins in 2017 to keep his job even with a MASSIVE buyout if fired it’s not going to be easy for UCLA to get to 6 wins unless they win their next 2 games to start at 3 – 0 before they head to The Farm to play Stanford on September 23.

10.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – In 5 seasons at Arkansas Bret Bielema has the following records on the board…

Overall: 26 – 26

SEC: 10 – 22

…and that is what we would call Below Average for ANY Head Football Coach at Arkansas and we would recommend to both Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long that Bielema win at least 6 games in 2017 or both of them might find themselves out of a job come December which is why the next two games…

TCU
Texas A&M (Dallas)

…are MUST WIN GAMES before playing Cupcake New Mexico State on September 30 and then heading into the rest of the SEC schedule with a game at South Carolina.

If Arkansas does lose to TCU and Texas A&M to be at 2 – 2 at the end of September it’s not going to be easy to find 4 more wins among these last 8 games….

At South Carolina
At Alabama
Auburn
At Ole Miss
Coastal Carolina
At LSU
Mississippi State
Missouri

….with 6 wins total needed if Bielema wants to be employed in the State of Arkansas after December 2017!

Gus Malzahn Is Sitting On One of the Hottest Seats in College Football Entering the 2016 College Football Season….and Should Be After What Was Nothing Less Than A Complete Freaking Disaster For Auburn Football In 2015! – Our Contact “Around” Auburn Lays Out the Reality That Now Faces Gus Malzahn AND Auburn AD Jay Jacobs = 2016 Is A Critical Year For BOTH Men! – Good Luck Gus!

 

OK…we West Coasters at Coaches Hot Seat will admit it…

We are loving us some SEC Football

….and since the late 1980s when a few Coaches Hot Seat members were serving in the US Navy in the Jacksonville, Florida area when a couple of us first ran into the Head Ball Coach Steve Spurrier at a Florida practice in Gainesville we have been lucky enough to have seen 100+ SEC football games in person, and there is not a more passionate place that loves their football more than at…

Auburn University!

JordanHare171717

Yes….the folks at Alabama love their football team BUT not more than the folks at Auburn love theirs and that is why there is so much distress these days on The Plains because the Mighty Alabama Crimson Tide under Nick Saban has won…

4 of the last 7 National Championships

NickSaban818181

….while Auburn has won what exactly?

ONE National Championship since 1957!

Yes…current Auburn head coach Gus Malzahn took the Auburn Tigers to the National Title Game in 2013 after what were nothing less than…

Two Luckier Than Hell Plays Against Georgia and Alabama at the end of the 2013 season

….BUT since Auburn lost to FSU in that 2013-14 Bogus BCS National Title Game one Gus Malzahn has put-up records of….

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….over the last two seasons and we have some news for Gus Malzahn and his immediate family:

If there is not SIGNIFICANT improvement in the Auburn Tigers football team in 2016 Auburn will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now…we here at Coaches Hot Seat being good business folks or what they would call “bidness folks” in the South have always made a point of making lots of contacts during our business endeavors, and that approach has extended to the great game of college football during our 40-plus years of watching this great game, and we now have a group of contacts across college football that we believe rivals anyone….and we happen to have a GREAT contact “around” Auburn who we have been talking to a lot over the past 6 months on the status of one….Gus Malzahn.

AuburnUniversity77171717

We recently talked again to our contact “around” Auburn and asked him straight-out:

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What does Gus Malzahn have to do in 2016 to keep his job at Auburn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Whoa now boys…no one said Gus Malzahn is about t o be fired…but I will say there is plenty of pink paper in the Auburn athletic offices at the ready if Malzahn and his football team don’t perform this season and a pink slip has to be delivered.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “What the Hell does that mean?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well now boys….Jay Jacobs (the Auburn AD) thinks very highly of the Auburn football program and believes it should compete toe-to-toe with Alabama and other SEC heavyweights EVERY year and if Malzahn should have another 8, 7 or Heaven help us 6 win or less season then Jacobs will no doubt have a list of coaches at the ready to make a move later this year.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Any guesses who might be on Jay Jacobs short-list to replace a fired Gus Malzahn?”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys…you didn’t hear this from me….but if you asked me to guess I would think Jay’s list would include…in order mind you…

Jimbo Fisher
Mark Dantonio
Art Briles
Gary Patterson
Dan Mullen
Tom Herman

Coaches Hot Seat:  “Geez…that’s a pretty strong list of coaches!”

Auburn Contact:  “Well boys….if Jay Jacobs has to fire a third head football coach (Tuberville, Chizik, Malzahn) since 2008 you can bet your bottom Dollar this time Jay will go big and be bringing a Heckuva lot of money with him…..meaning Saban-type money.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be $7 million dollars plus per season.”

Auburn Contact:  “Exactly….Auburn cannot make another mistake in hiring its next coach…that is if Jay Jacobs is given the chance to hire the next coach, because if Malzahn should someone not win 6 or more games in 2016 then Jay Jacobs may be fired right before Gus Malzahn is.”

Coaches Hot Seat:  “That would be carnage on The Plains.”

Auburn Contact:  “It would be carnage in the family….but sometimes a good housecleaning is needed and Auburn may need that is this season implodes under Gus (Malzahn).”

OK…it seems pretty clear to us that Gus Malzahn is sitting on one of the Hottest Damn Seats in College Football and should be with records the last two seasons at Auburn of…

Overall:  15 – 11

SEC:  6 – 10

….so let’s go the numbers and look at Auburn’s 2016 schedule.

Gus Malzahn, Auburn

GusMalzahn11818

4 th season at South Carolina

Overall Head Coaching Record (Arkansas State + Auburn):  36 – 16

Auburn Head Coaching Record

Overall:  27 – 17

SEC:  13 – 11

Let’s look at Auburn’s 2016 football schedule:

Clemson
Arkansas State
Texas A&M
LSU
La. Monroe
At Mississippi State
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Vanderbilt
At Georgia
Alabama A&M
At Alabama

BozoTheClown771177

OK….Bozo the Clown or ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

3 Football Games

….coaching Auburn in 2016 BUT as we look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule which begins with FIVE straight home games we are thinking that Gus Malzahn and his Auburn Tigers better Damn be NO worse than…

4 – 1

…when they travel to play at Mississippi State on October 8 because we see FOUR serious potential losses in Auburn’s last SEVEN games…

At Mississippi State
At Ole Miss
At Georgia
At Alabama

Here’s the problem for Gus Malzahn….in our opinion if Auburn finishes with a record worse than…

8 – 4 overall

5 – 3 in SEC play

….Gus Malzahn is going to be in a Helluva spot when the Alabama game is over on November 26 and if Auburn finishes at…

7 – 5 overall

4 – 4 in SEC play

….in 2016 which would leave Malzahn’s the last THREE seasons at Auburn standing at…

Overall:  22 – 16

SEC:  10 – 14

….then Gus Malzahn is….

DONE at Auburn…PERIOD!

Hell….with 3 games at home against Clemson, Texas A&M, and LSU in the first 5 weeks of the season Gus Malzahn could be DONE at Auburn before October 1 if the Tigers somehow tripped up and lost those 3 CRITICAL games!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Coach YOUR football team YOUR way in 2016 because there’s a very Damn good chance this will be YOUR last year at Auburn unless there is dramatic improvement from the Tigers football team of 2016 which in our opinion was nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

….because when you finish at…

2 – 6 in SEC play

….at Auburn that is just flat-out a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

Good Luck Gus!