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2019 Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – A Pathetic Performance By Stanford Football….And A Total Disaster Ahead On The Farm – Give These Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

September 23, 2019

Hard to believe we are already 4 weeks into the 2019 college football season but it is moving fast as usual and what a fascinating week of college football and we had a lot of movement with the Hot Seat coaches…with some moving off the Hot Seat and some finding their rear-ends Heating Up!

Just a quick note on the pathetic performance of Stanford Football against Oregon on Saturday. Before the season a former Stanford football player from decades ago actually predicted a 1 – 3 opening to the 2019 season based upon what he called…

“A pathetic Fall camp and an unacceptable offseason conditioning program.”

We will not go into how that former Stanford football player came to have the above opinion but let’s just say he has “eyes” on what’s going on at Stanford right now and there’s Helluva lot more trouble ahead with this schedule still to be played >

At Oregon State
Washington
UCLA
Arizona
At Colorado
At Washington State
California
Notre Dame

There’s a serious chance that Stanford will not win another game in 2019 and if the Cardinal plays the rest of their games like they did against USC, UCF, and Oregon they will finish with a record of…

4 – 8…at best!

It’s just our humble opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat based upon few dozen trips to Stanford campus since early August that David Shaw is basically working at about 50% capacity at what he has worked at in the past and since the head coach doesn’t seem to give a Damn whether Stanford wins any football games or not it’s not surprising to see a…

Dead Football Team
Dead Stanford Stadium
Dead Stanford Football Program

The Cardinal is Just Dead now and we would put the chances that Stanford loses to Oregon State next Saturday in Corvallis at >

70%

We will keep an eye on things on The Farm and if Stanford does lose to Oregon State rest assured with Cardinal at 1 – 4 and a Total Disaster ahead David Shaw will find his ass on the Hot Seat at a place where anything short of Full Effort + High Excellence = Your Ass Getting Run!

In our opinion David Shaw is coaching like his agent is talking to NFL teams about their head coaching jobs and that was our opinion of Brian Kelly a few years ago when Notre Dame tanked and those NFL teams which had so much interest in Kelly tuned him out after thinks went South for the Irish and that may just happen to David Shaw as well!

Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Thank You Johnny!

2019 Post Week 4 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – The most interesting thing to us watching Florida destroy Tennessee on Saturday is that looked to us that the Vols players really don’t have much interest in playing for Jeremy Pruitt and that’s the same feeling we got watching the Georgia State game earlier this season.

We have an opinion on why the Vols players might not want to play hard for Jeremy Pruitt and that opinion is that Pruitt is from the…

Rush Propst I am an Animal not a member of the Human Race School of Coaching

….which we got to see in person many years ago on the practice fields at Hoover High School just outside Birmingham, Alabama.

From our observation of that practice, watching Pruitt coach at Alabama, FSU, and Georgia, and talking to people that played for Jeremy Pruitt who have lots of different opinions on Pruitt it’s our opinion that >

Jeremy Pruitt doesn’t treat his players as young men put in his charge to learn how to play football, get an education, and learn how to get yourself prepared for life during college which in our opinion are the main jobs of a head football coach but rather…

Jeremy Pruitt treats his players like Total Shit and blames them when things go wrong and takes credit when things go right!

We would not play for Jeremy Pruitt and in our opinion only a Very Damn Foolish Parent would send their kids to Tennessee to play for Jeremy Pruitt…that is if you cared about and loved your kids!

When Coaches Hot Seat was started in January 2007 one of the things we observed as looked through the 100+ college head football coaches we counted around 30 coaches that were really Sorry Damn Excuses for Human Beings + Sub-Average Coaches and the coach the best exemplified that was then Notre Dame Head Coach Charlie Weis.

Charlie Weis is EVERYTHING that is wrong with Football Coaches in America…

A Sorry Damn Pompous Arrogant Ass Jerk who believes he is God’s Gift to the Earth and we were more than happy to help run Charlie Weis’ Sorry Ass out of Notre Dame and then Kansas and it’s our opinion that Jeremy Pruitt is EVERYTHING if not more than what Charlie Weis was and as long as Pruitt is the head football coach at Tennessee he in our opinion…

Poses A Clear and Present Danger to the Future Success of Tennessee Football.

And this being our humble opinion we will like with Charlie Weis do whatever we can to get Jeremy Pruitt’s Sorry Damn Ass run out of Knoxville!

Oh…in 2007 by our count there were about 30 head coaches that were really Sorry Damn Excuses for Human Beings + Sub-Average Coaches in college football and today there are…just a handful….between 5 and 10 and we keep a close eye on all them because all of them also…

Pose A Clear and Present Danger to the football programs they now coach and to the game of college football overall as well.

The Vols are now 1 – 3 on the season and still have left to play in 2019 >

Georgia
Mississippi State
At Alabama
South Carolina
UAB
At Kentucky
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

Our guess is that the Vols will finish with a 2 – 10 or 3 – 9 record in 2019 and we haven’t a clue nor care if Tennessee fires Jeremy Pruitt if he posts one of those records since the Damn Morons in Knoxville put themselves in this hole and as far as we are concerned they can just keep digging that hole deeper which will happen until the fans of Tennessee rise-up and toss all the Worthless Bastards to the curb that have put Vols football in it’s current pitiful Damn state and to the curb tossed #1 should be AD Phil Fulmer!

2.  Lovie Smith, Illinois – Illinois played a great game against Nebraska but come now Nebraska may not be much of a team and is likely to blown out of Lincoln come next Saturday by Ohio State which brings us back to Lovie Smith and his records in 4 years coaching the Illini:

Overall:  11 – 29

Big Ten:  4 – 24

Now we are talking about Illinois Football here so 4 Big Ten Conference wins in 4 seasons isn’t all that bad….this is Illinois Football we are talking about here…but let’s assume for a moment that you were an Illinois fan with a 2+ IQ that actually gave a Damn about the football program would you accept the above records posted by Lovie Smith?

Of course not and that brings us to the rest of the Illini’s 2019 schedule >

At Minnesota
Michigan
Wisconsin
At Purdue
Rutgers
At Michigan State
At Iowa
Northwestern

Now the Little Sisters of the Poor could beat Purdue, Rutgers, and Northwestern so maybe the Illini can win 3 more games to finish with a 5 – 7 record but would a 5 – 7 record be acceptable at Illinois in Lovie’s 4th year on the job or an even worse record?

Who knows…this is Illinois Football we are talking about here where last year Lovie Smith posted a 4 – 8 record and…wait for it…got a contract extension which from where we come from = You are doing a great job!

Laughing Out Loud Forever and Ever!

3.  Will Muschamp, South Carolina – After the loss to Mizzou on Saturday Will Muschamp’s records at South Carolina now stand at…

Overall:  23 – 20

SEC:  12 – 14

…which we would call About Average for South Carolina but in your 4th year on the job you should at least be able to post a 6 – 6 record and with a 1 – 3 record now and these games left…

Kentucky
At Georgia
Florida
At Tennessee
Vanderbilt
Appalachian State
At Texas A&M
Clemson

…there’s not a Chance in Hell South Carolina can win 5 of their last 8 games and in our opinion the Gamecocks would be lucky to win 4 games in 2019!

4.  Chad Morris, Arkansas – We still don’t have a clue how Chad Morris got hired at Arkansas before the 2018 season after posting a record of…

14 – 22

…in 3 years at SMU but if you are lucky enough to land an SEC Head Coaching Job you would think your ass would actually Do Your Damn Job but clearly when you let a Beyond Damn Pitiful San Jose State football team come into Fayetteville and beat your ass on your home field…

You do not deserve to continue as the head coach of the Arkansas football program…PERIOD!

Chad Morris said after the game that Arkansas got out-coached and outplayed but in our opinion…

No One Is Now Coaching the Arkansas Football Team

…based upon what we saw in that disgraceful performance against SJSU!

Chad Morris is now sitting on records at Arkansas of…

Overall:  4 – 12

SEC:  0 – 9

….and we would love to know why any Arkansas fan thinks that in Chad Morris’ 16th game at Arkansas that he cannot get his team up to play…forget about beat…but just show up and play with minimal effort against San Jose State that he will be able to do anything at all in the future?

Now at 2 – 2 on the season Arkansas has left to play in 2019…

Texas A&M – Dallas
At Kentucky
Auburn
At Alabama
Mississippi State
Western Kentucky
At LSU
Missouri

….and there’s a really Damn good chance that the Hogs don’t win another game in 2019….a Really Damn Good Chance!

Can you go 2 – 10 in your first two seasons at Arkansas and keep your job?

If you can the Arkansas Football Program no longer exists in the Real World….it’s just a place where coaches go to get paid Millions of Dollars to Not Do A Damn Thing At All!

5.  Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – The Hokies had a bye in Week 4 and now at 2 – 1 on the season with wins over Old Dominion and Furman and a loss to Boston College, which lost to Kansas, the rest of the 2019 schedule looks like this >

Duke
At Miami
Rhode Island
North Carolina
At Notre Dame
Wake Forest
At Georgia Tech
Pitt
At Virginia

If Virginia Tech plays the rest of their schedule like they played their first 3 games they will be Damn Lucky to get to 6 wins in 2019 and does anyone really care that the Hokies will struggle to get to 6 wins in Fuente’s 4th year on the job in Blacksburg?

Not really…and there’s the problem with Virginia Tech Football…the standards have shrunk to such a Pitiful Damn Level that just winning 6 games and making a bowl game = Winning!

That’s not America….that’s a Damn Disgrace!

6.  Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – We have poked around as much as we can with folks we know in Ann Arbor to tell us what is wrong with Jim Harbaugh and we mean what is wrong with Jim personally not what is wrong with the Michigan Football program and we say that because the Jim Harbaugh we watch from afar now is not the Jim Harbaugh that showed-up in Palo Alto to coach Stanford in 2007. We have a member of Coaches Hot Seat who is a doctor and he watching Harbaugh thinks that Jim doesn’t look right physically and/or mentally but hasn’t a clue if anything is wrong, but for Damn sure this doctor who met and talked to Jim dozens of times just as many of us did when Jim is at Stanford sees the same thing we do…

Something’s not right about Jim and we haven’t a clue what it is.

As for Michigan Football after barely beating Army and getting ripped to shreds by Wisconsin the Blue Offense is such a Damn disgrace now we wonder if anyone is actually coaching the offense and if someone is just drawing plays out of a hat to call on Saturdays because to us it looks like the biggest Damn mess we have ever seen with the Blue Offense not having an Identity, a Clue, or Having Anything At All for that matter!

Michigan does have a chance to get on a roll in the next 3 games against…

Rutgers
Iowa
At Illinois

…before a trip to play Penn State on October 19 and there’s no reason Michigan doesn’t win their next 3 games…but if they play like they did against Army and Wisconsin….they could very well lose all 3 including to Rutgers this coming Saturday!

Come on Jimmy….football is supposed to be fun Son and you need to start having fun again and if there is some reason you cannot have fun go ahead and tell the world what it is because….something’s just not right here….in our humble opinion.

7.  Chip Kelly, UCLA – We are not sure what we watched in the UCLA – Washington State game late on Saturday night but it sure was entertaining to watch and now the Bruins under Chip Kelly have a chance to get something going IF they keep scoring points because we don’t see that UCLA defense slowing down anyone anytime soon.

Now at 1 – 3 on the season the Bruins have left in 2019…

At Arizona
Oregon State
At Stanford
Arizona State
Colorado
At Utah
At USC
California

..and if UCLA can score 42+ points in all of the above games they can post probably post a 6 – 6 record in 2019 but you gotta score a Helluva Lot of points to make that happen Chip!

8.  Willie Taggart, Florida State – FSU beat Louisville at home on Saturday which has a first year head coach so that’s not much when you are Florida State but now things get tough for the 2 – 2 Seminoles with these games left on the schedule >

NC State
At Clemson
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Miami
At Boston College
Alabama State
At Florida

We see no reason at all that Florida State doesn’t win at least 4 of its remaining 8 games and if FSU does fall short of a 6 – 6 record in 2019 it’s our opinion that they will be looking for a new head football coach in Tallahassee in early December so get after it Willie!

9.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – We are not quite sure what Houston Super Booster Tilman Fertitta thought he was getting by hiring Dana Holgorsen to be the head coach at Houston but we can guess he didn’t think Ole Dana be off to a 1 – 3 start in H-Town with one of those losses coming against Tulane!

If you look at Dana Holgorsen’s records at West Virginia…

Overall:  61 – 41

Big 12:  38 – 32

…if you take out the last year that WVU was in the Big East Conference and just look at the Big 12 years then Dana’s records in Morgantown were…

Overall:  51 – 38

Big 12:  33 – 30

Now are the above records something so impressive we would give the person who posted them a 5 year $20 million dollar contract?

Of course not but then does anyone think Tilman knows his ass from the side of a barn when it comes to the game of football?

Of course not and one of the reasons that Tilman said that Houston did hire Dana Holgorsen was that he would be committed to the school for the long-term and not be looking to take a Power 5 job like Tom Herman did which makes us wonder…

Just how long you going to be committed to Holgo there Tilman especially when the President of the University of Houston said publicly a couple of years ago we don’t so “less than 10 wins a season” at Houston?

Houston is now 1 – 3 and has left to play in 2019….

At North Texas
Cincinnati
At UConn
SMU
At UCF
Memphis
At Tulsa
Navy

…and the Cougars should be able to beat UConn, Tulsa, and Navy but the rest of those games now….Hell, Houston might not win 6 games in 2019 and we remind you Tilman that Houston just fired Major Applewhite who in his two full seasons at the school posted records of…

7 – 5
8 – 5

Surely if Houston doesn’t get to 6 wins in 2019 Ole Dana Holgorsen will get run right out of Houston $15M left on his contract or not?

Right Tilman?

Oh…get us some rolls for our table Tilman and make it quick Son!

10.  Chris Ash, Rutgers – We are not quite sure why Chris Ash is still the head football coach at Rutgers with records on the board of…

Overall:  8 – 31

Big Ten:  3 – 25

…but what the Hell we will play along and with Rutgers now 1 – 2 on the season after the loss to Boston College on Saturday and these games left to be played…

At Michigan
Maryland
At Indiana
Minnesota
Liberty
At Illinois
Ohio State
Michigan State
At Penn State

…we be STUNNED if Rutgers won another game in 2019 and would Chris Ash be fired at Rutgers if he posted a 1 – 11 record in his 4th year at Rutgers?

Who Knows and Who Cares?

No One!

And that’s the problem!

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18 CFB Head Coaches Facing MUST WIN Games in Week 3 – Take It To The Limit Coaches + Teams

September 14, 2017 0 Comments

 

Week 2 was interesting on the MUST WIN Game front with coaches under lots of the pressure going…

4 – 6

….in their MUST WIN Games which just turns up the HEAT even more on those coaches that lost, and in Week 3 there are 18 CFB Head Coaches facing MUST WIN Games and with that in mind we ask the Eagles and Randy Meisner to motivate these Coaches + Teams To Take It To the Limit to get a win in these games. Bring It Randy!

Thanks Randy!

Rich Rodriguez, Arizona vs. UTEP – Going back to the loss to Washington State at home in 2015 in Arizona’s last 20 games Rich Rodriguez has posted a record of…

6 – 14

…which his nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster for Arizona Football and thus after a home loss to Houston there is just No Damn Way Rodriguez and his Wildcats can lose to UTEP in El Paso on Friday night. If Rodriguez did lose this game to an UTEP coach in Sean Kugler who is also on the Hot Seat and has posted a record of 18 – 33 in four-plus seasons on the job then RichRod might as well call the movers on the way back to Tucson because it’s….

….time in the desert!

Mark Whipple, UMass vs. Temple – In the last four seasons Mark Whipple has posted a record at UMass of…

8 – 31

…and one would think sooner or later one would have to start winning some football games to keep your job…even at UMass…right?

Yep…Temple is a MUST WIN Game for Mark Whipple and the Minuteman but we don’t give them much of a chance to win this MUST WIN Game!

Scottie Montgomery, East Carolina vs. Virginia Tech – Scottie Montgomery’s East Carolina football team is in a mini-meltdown with the defensive coordinator being let go and Montgomery off to an 0 – 2 start in 2017 after posting a 3 – 9 record last season and now here comes Virginia Tech showing up in Week 3 in a MUST WIN Game spot is far from optimal, but with a game against USF on deck beating the Hokies is a MUST WIN because a loss here and the Pirates might not win a game in 2017!

Coach against Virginia Tech like your job is on the line Scottie Montgomery…because it is!

David Shaw, Stanford vs. San Diego State – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were at the LA Coliseum for the Stanford – USC game last Saturday and it was apparent in the pregame that the Trojans were JACKED to play the Cardinal and that it was going to take 40+ points to beat USC which Stanford didn’t have in them even if David Shaw had coached the game to score 40+ points…which he didn’t!

Now here come a road game at San Diego State which just beat Arizona State in Tempe and this is truly a cross-roads game for Stanford in 2017 because a loss to the Aztecs means that EVERY team left on the Cardinal schedule can beat Stanford but a win in this spot to improve to 2 – 1 with UCLA and Arizona State at home on The Farm up next Stanford will have a chance to get things rolling in 2017…but first they MUST BEAT San Diego State in what is a MUST WIN Game for David Shaw and his football team.

Be ready a battle boys and if you are not ready to fight…just stay in northern California because the Aztecs will whip and embarrass your asses for all the country to see!

Gary Andersen, Oregon State vs. Washington State – We consider Oregon State to be a school that in today’s world where there are several strong teams in the Pac-12 North Division as a place where a solid head coach will win 6 to 7 games a year and take the Beavers to a bowl game every season. In 14 seasons as the head coach at Oregon State Mike Riley posted a record of…

93 – 80

…and took the Beavers to a postseason bowl game in…

8 of the 14 seasons

…so in our opinion Mike Riley fell short of what Oregon State Football should be especially considering that the Pac-12 North division is a lot tougher division today than it was in the past.

Gary Andersen is a solid football coach but he will have to recruit and coach at a high level to get Oregon State to 6+ wins year in and year out and after a 1 – 1 start that includes getting blasted by Colorado State and barely beating Portland State this Saturday’s match-up with Washington State is a MUST WIN Game with the following games on deck…

Washington
At USC
Colorado
Stanford

Yep…beating the Cougs is a MUST WIN Game for Gary Andersen and the Beavers!

Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Florida – Butch Jones is a Tennessee player from not making a hustle play in the 4 th quarter against Georgia Tech to cause a fumble giving the Vols the chance to win in overtime and start the 2017 season at 2 – 0 instead of 1 – 1 after a win over Cupcake Indiana State and now the actual season begins for Tennessee with a MUST WIN Game at The Swamp against Florida on Saturday.

If Tennessee did lose to the Gators on Saturday Butch Jones record in SEC Conference play in his last 7 SEC games would drop to…

2 – 5

….and Jones would find his ass heating up again with the 4 following games coming right at the Vols:

Georgia
South Carolina
At Alabama
At Kentucky

Yep….we recommend Butch Jones and Tennessee find a way to beat Florida on Saturday or back up the Hot Seat Rankings Butch Jones will climb!

Jim McElwain, Florida vs. Tennessee – In two-plus seasons at Florida Jim McElwain has posted impressive records of…

Overall: 19 – 9

SEC: 13 – 3

….but this is FLORIDA Football we are talking about here where any coach should be able to drop a few footballs by the practice field and the Gators would win 8+ games a season if the coaches have recruited at all and thus we are going to hold Jim McElwain and ANY Florida Football coach to a very high standard.

The problem for Jim McElwain and Florida after the opening season debacle game against Michigan which exposed a Gators offense that can be easily shutdown is that a loss in this spot to the Vols to drop to 0 – 2 with these games coming up….

Vanderbilt
LSU
Texas A&M
Georgia (Jacksonville)
At Missouri
At South Carolina
UAB
Florida State

….it’s not hard to imagine Florida not getting 6 wins in 2017 with the Northern Colorado game being cancelled and if Jim McElwain doesn’t win 6 games this season he will need to win 10+ games in 2018 or his ass will be sent packing out of Gainesville!

Jim Mora, UCLA vs. Memphis – Most people don’t realize how important..make that VITAL….it was for Jim Mora and UCLA to come back and beat Texas A&M in their opening game because after dispatching Hawaii in Week 2 the schedule gets a lot tougher beginning with a game…

At Memphis

….on Saturday and if the Bruins did lose to Memphis with these games still on the schedule…

At Stanford
Colorado
At Arizona
Oregon
At Washington
At Utah
Arizona State
At USC
Cal

…there’s a decent chance UCLA doesn’t win 6 games in 2017 and BIG buyout or not Jim Mora would probably find his ass out of a job come December after two straight losing seasons in Westwood!

David Beaty, Kansas vs. Ohio – Kansas Football or not we would like to think that a head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks football team could in his…

26 th Game

…as a head coach take his Big 12 Conference Football Team to Athens, Ohio and beat a MAC Conference Ohio University Football Team…right?

Damn Right is the answer to that question!

There just is NO Legitimate Excuse for Kansas Football to lose this game to Ohio on Saturday and thus this is a MUST WIN Game for David Beaty and his football team with these Big 12 games left on the schedule:

West Virginia
Texas Tech
At Iowa State
At TCU
Kansas State
Baylor
At Texas
Oklahoma
At Oklahoma State

Damn….if Kansas loses to Ohio…in our opinion…the Jayhawks will not win another game in 2017 to finish the season at….

1 – 11

…with only a win over SE Missouri State.

Coach em hard David Beaty!

Bronco Mendenhall, Virginia vs. UConn – The Bronco Mendenhall experiment at Virginia which is as much about Bronco not being at BYU as being at Virginia is off to a rough start with a record of….

3 – 11

…on the board two games into his second season at Charlottesville and we are fascinated to see how this all plays out. Bronco Mendenhall is a very good football coach, but he also is a man who like Mitt Romney, who a few of us have run into many times over the years, someone that carries his religion with him to such an extent it dominates his life as much at Catholicism dominated the lives of past head coaches at Notre Dame. We have many Mormon friends in the state of Utah who we visit for at least a week every Summer which includes lots of outdoor activities and sporting contests and we fight like brothers with them to win everything from golf to ping-pong all day long and then at night they go home and we go out to get a few beers at the bars on main street in Park City. We love our Mormon friends because they are not merely “Good People”…they are…”Great People” who are the kind of folks you could always count on if you were ever in trouble and Bronco Mendenhall is cut from the same mold as our friends in Utah, and that’s why it is so fascinating to us to see if Mendenhall can succeed outside of the cocoon that he lived in at BYU…and like it or not BYU is a cocoon…that is somewhat separate from much of American life such as how life is lived in Charlottesville, Virginia.

We are pulling hard for Bronco Mendenhall to succeed at Virginia but after getting beat by Indiana at home last Saturday to drop to 1 – 1 on the season this week’s game at home against UConn is a MUST WIN Game because of what is left on the Cavs schedule:

At Boise State
Duke
At North Carolina
Boston College
At Pitt
Georgia Tech
At Louisville
At Miami
Virginia Tech

With a loss to UConn on Saturday we don’t think Virginia will have any chance at all to get to 6 wins in 2017 with the above schedule so with that mind…

Give the UConn Huskies Heck Bronco!

Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Northern Illinois – Mike Riley is now in his 3 rd season at Nebraska and he has coached 28 games and posted an overall record of…

16 – 12 (.571)

Below are the records after 28 games of the Nebraska head coaches after Tom Osborne:

Frank Solich: 23 – 5 (.821)

Bill Callahan: 17 – 11 (.607)

Bo Pelini: 20 – 8 (.714)

As anyone can clearly see Mike Riley is 4 th in winning percentage…

Frank Solich:  .821
Bo Pelini:  .714
Bill Callahan:  .607
Mike Riley:  .571

….in the head coaches following the Great Tom Osborne at Nebraska and Riley knows that if he continues along the current path his tenure in Lincoln will not be long.

The thing about coaching at Nebraska is the head coach feels the pressure of the job but he has a hard time finding where that pressure is coming from since the folks in the state of Nebraska are so nice and disarming and just downright decent, but we can tell Mike Riley that after having friends in the Omaha area for over two decades that are Nebraska-alums Riley’s performance to date is something that is discussed on a regular basis and if Riley doesn’t get things going with the Cornhuskers soon…Mike Riley and Nebraska AD Shawn Eichorst will find out who is in charge of things and who can send both of them packing!

After an 1 – 1 start to the season and a decent showing against the Oregon Ducks in Eugene Mike Riley and the Cornhuskers host Northern Illinois in Lincoln on Saturday in the Biggest MUST WIN Game of Riley’s tenure at Nebraska because if the Huskers lose this game at home to Northern Illinois things would heat up in a Helluva hurry on the Great Plains of America!

Oh here is what Nebraska has left after Northern Illinois:

Rutgers
At Illinois
Wisconsin
Ohio State
At Purdue
Northwestern
At Minnesota
At Penn State
Iowa

We have it on good authority that Nebraska fans are expecting 10+ wins in Mike Riley’s third season coaching the Cornhuskers and if you lose to Northern Illinois not only is 10+ wins out the window…..Hell there’s a good chance Nebraska has a hard time winning 8 games if you can’t beat the NIU Huskies at home!

Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M vs. Louisiana – We don’t give the 23 point underdogs Louisiana much chance to beat Texas A&M on Saturday but if somehow the Ragin’ Cajuns did beat the Aggies at Kyle Field we feel confident in saying that Kevin Sumlin would be fired right after the game because if you can’t beat Louisiana in College Station in Week 2 there’s not a Damn chance in Hell you are going to beat Arkansas in Dallas in Week 3.

Yes…Louisiana is a MUST WIN Game for Kevin Sumlin and Texas A&M but it so unimaginable that the Aggies could lose this game that we should probably call this a….

You Better Damn Win Or Your Ass Will Be Fired Game for Kevin Sumlin!

Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Boston College – As Bob Stoops proved earlier this year college football head coaches either leave of their own volition or their ass eventually gets fired and Brian Kelly at Notre Dame is now heading towards the latter category after a home loss to Georgia, an unnecessary tiff with a reporter after the game, and most important of all now sitting on a record of…

5 – 11

….in Notre Dame’s last 16 games which at a place like Notre Dame is a mark that should have already gotten Brian Kelly fired if the folks making the decisions in South Bend actually gave a Damn about Excellence and Winning!

The Notre Dame at Boston College on Saturday isn’t so much a MUST WIN Game for Brian Kelly as it is a…

Your Ass Better Not Lose It OR Your Head Coaching Career Is Good As Over

….game for Kelly because a loss in this spot to a BC team that under Steve Addazio in the last five seasons has posted an overall record of…

25 – 28

….would be beyond embarrassing and borderline….

“Why the Hell is Brian Kelly still the head coach of the Irish?”

….like moment!

An interesting number of Brian Kelly at Notre Dame over his 8 seasons at the school….the Irish have played 71 games against Power 5 Conference schools and Kelly’s record in those 71 games is…

42 – 29

….for a….

.592

….winning percentage in Power 5 Conference Games.

Is that Notre Dame Football?

Not only NO but…HELL NO!

Steve Addazio, Boston College vs. Notre Dame – As mentioned above Steve Addazio in his fifth season at Boston College and has posted an overall record of…

25 – 28

….which is Below Average at best and Addazio’s record in ACC Conference play is even worse at….

10 – 22

….and after starting the season with a win over Northern Illinois and BC getting its ass whipped by Wake Forest here come the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame in a match-up that is a…

Better Damn Win Game for both Coaches + Teams

…with the losing coach shooting up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings and the winning coach leaving the game with his ass still on fire!

Great Luck to you Coaches Kelly and Addazio!

Larry Fedora, North Carolina vs. Old Dominion – After opening the season with homes losses to Cal and Louisville Larry Fedora has the North Carolina football team in a Helluva mess and his ass on the precipice of being launched onto the Hot Seat with a loss to Old Dominion on Saturday in a game that North Carolina just CANNOT LOSE forget about the entire MUST WIN Game situation for Fedora.

With Duke up next and then Georgia Tech Larry Fedora better Damn find a way to beat Old Dominion on Saturday or it will be….

Welcome to the Hot Seat Larry!

Barry Odom, Missouri vs. Purdue – Barry Odom has not exactly lit the woods on fire in his first two seasons as the head coach at Mizzou and after starting 1 – 1 in 2017 Odom has records on the board of…

Overall: 5 – 9

SEC: 2 – 7

….and the one thing that Odom does not need at this moment is a team that hasn’t been very good in recent years, think Purdue, that has a new head coach in Jeff Brohm who has the Boilermakers offense rolling and just might come into Columbia and hang 40+ points on the Tigers!

With games coming next against…

Auburn
At Kentucky
At Georgia

….before playing Idaho on October 21 the Mizzou Tigers could be….

1 – 5

….if they lost to Purdue on Saturday which would put Odom’s ass into orbiting the Sun HEAT territory so you better Damn beat Purdue Coach Odom!

Todd Graham, Arizona State vs. Texas Tech – We asked around a bit this week to our friends in the Phoenix area and the word on the street is Graham needs…

8 wins

…in 2017 to keep his job but might be able to return to coach in 2018 if Arizona State wins 7 games this season and those 7 wins include a win over Arizona. With that in mind with ASU now at 1 – 1 on the season and games left against….

At Texas Tech
Oregon
At Stanford
Washington
At Utah
USC
Colorado
At UCLA
At Oregon State
Arizona

….we don’t see any way that the Sun Devils get to 7 wins if they don’t beat Texas Tech on Saturday which = MUST WIN Game for Todd Graham and his football team!

Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech vs. Arizona State – In four-plus seasons as the head coach at Texas Tech Kliff Kingsbury has posted the very uninspiring records of…

Overall: 25 – 26

Big 12: 13 – 23

…which you would consider uninspiring if you give a Damn about the Red Raiders fielding a Winning Football Program which Hell…maybe the folks in Lubbock really don’t give a Damn about…but even if they do embrace being…

Totally Damn Average

…in Lubbock one would have to think that if Kingsbury doesn’t win at least 6 games in 2017 his ass is gone…right?

Who the Hell knows since Texas Football all across the Republic of Texas is So Damn Average these days!

Now at 1 – 0 on the season after beating Cupcake Eastern Washington in the opening game the Red Raiders really need to beat Arizona State at home in the second game with this schedule still remaining:

At Houston
Oklahoma State
At Kansas
At West Virginia
Iowa State
At Oklahoma
Kansas State
Baylor
TCU
At Texas

We really don’t see 6 wins on the Texas Tech schedule if they don’t beat Arizona State on Saturday so Yep…you got it…this is a MUST WIN Game for Kliff Kingsbury and the Red Raiders!

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Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

September 21, 2015 0 Comments

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

ShakespeareSevenAges

Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.

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Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

September 14, 2015 0 Comments

There are just a few reasons why a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and by far the main reason a coach finds his ass on the Hot Seat is…

He did not win enough football games!

But…there are other reasons a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and two of those reasons that we have had to account for in recent years have been…

1.  A Head Coach like Charlie Weis who in our opinion did not give a Damn about coaching the Kansas football team in the proper way which also makes Charlie Weis a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being….with that being the opinion of EVERY American here at Coaches Hot Seat

AND

2.  Coaching like a Scared Coward which is how four SEC head coaches coached their teams on Saturday….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzhan, Auburn

….with three of the above COWARD COACHES now finding their precious and COWARDLY asses on the Hot Seat for their COWARDLY behavior because they lost their games and Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan now just one loss away from finding his ass on the Hot Seat with Auburn playing at LSU this coming Saturday! Besides coaching in a COWARDLY way which clearly in our opinion ALL FOUR of the above SEC head coaches did on Saturday what really pisses us off here at Coaches Hot Seat is when head coaches who have guaranteed contracts that will pay them Millions of Dollars whether they win or lose so they will never have to work a day the rest of their lives…

Still Coach like COWARDS!

It was just Shameful and a Disgrace to the American Republic forget about an embarrassment to the SEC that head coaches…

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Gus Malzahn, Auburn

….were on Saturday…just so Damn SHAMEFUL!

We will get more into the COWARDLY behavior of head coaches….

Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina

…in the Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis BUT is it just us here at Coaches Hot Seat or is everyone else thinking the same thing?

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The Southeastern Conference reached its PEAK at the same time that Paul Finebaum was negotiating the contract for his book in New York City in the spring of 2013 for what eventually became this….

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….and after the past two college football seasons and especially this past weekend has become what historians will mark as the Beginning of the End of the SEC? Of course, anyone that knows Paul Finebaum knows that Paul has a stellar record of latching onto public figures just before they are sent off to prison so Finebaum signaling the end of the SEC with his Idiotic book would not only be the MOST right thing in the world it would make a Helluva lot of sense also!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Let’s bring out the Man in Black to…

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Cyclones head coach Paul Rhoads is on a pretty bad run of late and the loss to Iowa over the weekend on Iowa State’s home field by a score of…

31 – 17

….didn’t help matters and just by comparison over Paul Rhoads last 26 games coaching ISU he has posted a record of….

6 – 20

…and the previous head coach at Iowa State Dan McCarney posted a record over his last 26 games at ISU of…

12 – 14

….and also by comparison puts the winning percentages of Rhoads and McCarney at…

.231 for Paul Rhoads in last 26 games at ISU

.462 for Dan McCarney in last 26 games at ISU

Sorry, but Paul Rhoads can be the nicest and hardest working guy in the world and by all accounts we have heard he is both BUT we caught some of the Iowa – Iowa State game on Saturday and to put it bluntly…..

Iowa State DOES NOT look like a very well coached football team right now…PERIOD.

Oh….up next for Iowa State…

At Toledo which just beat Arkansas in Fayetteville!

Good Luck with that Paul and here’s a tip…don’t complain this week like some kind of LOSER about Ohio State’s schedule when you have a team to get ready to play Toledo!

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2.  Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team had Notre Dame right where they wanted the Irish on Saturday…

Up by a point with just a few minutes to play with the Irish starting QB out and a back-up QB in for Notre Dame that had hardly played at all in a meaningful live college football game

….and how exactly did Mike London’s Virginia team find a way to lose this time around?

By allowing that back-up QB that had next to no experience throw a ball to a receiver that was allowed to get behind a defensive back for some reason which ended up with a touchdown!

Geez…you really cannot make-up some of the stuff that has happened to Virginia football in recent years BUT this loss to Notre Dame takes the cake, the pie and every Damn dessert in the kitchen and with that loss London’s record at UVA dropped to…

Overall:  23 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…over the last six seasons which is bad from whatever direction one looks at those records.

Up next for Virginia…

William & Mary
Boise State
At Pitt

Our recommendation to Mike London = WIN all three of those games son!

3.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Oh, you thought it was a big deal that the Florida Gators beat New Mexico State 61 – 13 on Week 1?

Uhhhh….NOT….because Georgia State which had won ONE football game the last two seasons just beat New Mexico State on their home field!

This is Doug Martin’s third season as the head coach at New Mexico State and his record at NMSU now stands at:

Overall:  4 – 22

Enough said on the Hot Seat situation at NMSU!

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4.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and the Purdue Boilermakers got their first win of the 2015 season over Indiana State on Saturday which means about as much as a grizzly bear crapping in the woods of Yellowstone National Park meaning it means NOTHING AT ALL!

The 2015 college football season begins again for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers on Saturday with Virginia Tech coming to town and this is a game in our opinion that….

Purdue Should Win

….IF Purdue plays with the same intensity that they played with against Marshall in Week 1.

In the “Just By Comparison” department Darrell Hazell has now been the head coach at Purdue for 26 games and his win/loss record stands at…

5 – 21

….and the coach he replaced at Purdue who was fired and run out-of-town posted a record in his first 26 games at Purdue of….

10 – 16

….which should tell everyone that is paying attention why exactly Darrell Hazell is on the Hot Seat!

5.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt looked OK at times against Georgia on Saturday but in the end a loss to the Dawgs by a score of…

31 – 14

…..leaves Derek Mason’s win/loss record in his second season at Vandy now at….

3 – 11

…and let’s hope Mason’s record after this coming Saturday’s game against Austin Peay is…

4 – 11

….or Mason might not make it as head coach at Vandy to the Ole Miss game in Oxford on September 26!

Looking over the rest of Vanderbilt’s 2015 schedule…

Austin Peay
At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

….if Vandy improves just a little bit more as the season progresses MAYBE the Commodores can win…

4 Games in 2015

….which would be an improvement by ONE win over 2014 and would give Mason one more year in Nashville to get Vandy back to their “James Franklin-years” winning ways and with that Derek Mason now has his goal for 2015….

4 Wins!

Coach ‘Em Up Derek!

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6.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson and the Indiana Hoosiers beat Florida International on Saturday by the score of 36 – 22 and when one considers that FIU had won….

6 Games

…the last three seasons combined Indiana beating FIU meant about as much as a wild pig finding an acorn in Alabama which means that win over FIU means NOTHING AT ALL!

Up next for Kevin Wilson and Indiana….a very tough Western Kentucky team that is very simply a…

CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson and the Hoosiers but especially a CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson!

7.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – In Week 2 Paul Petrino’s Idaho team lost to USC in Los Angeles by a score of…

59 – 9

….and with that loss Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho now stands at….

2 – 23

…..which is a winning percentage of…

.080%

….and the last Idaho head coach Robb Akey got fired at Idaho after posting a winning percentage of…

.286%

…over 6 seasons and thus why Paul Petrino is clearly on the Hot Seat!

Up next for Idaho….

Wofford!

OK…this should be a WIN for sure for Paul Petrino and the Vandals!

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8.  Ron Turner, Florida International – After seeing in person an average Stanford team made of balsa wood whip UCF on Saturday night we now understand how FIU beat UCF in Week 1 and thus it was no surprise to us that an average Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday.

FIU has won…

6 Games

…in three seasons under Ron Turner and FIU should get its SEVENTH win under Ron Turner on Saturday when they play

NC Central

….not that anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue who in the Hell NC Central is!

We do know that Ron Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat whether Dave Wannstedt of Fox Sports thinks Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat or not!

Memo to Dave Wannstedt:  Ron Turner’s precious ass is on the Hot Seat and FIU beating UCF in Week 1 was No Damn Big Deal!

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9.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – The two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game saw the same thing that the other 100-plus Coaches Hot Seat members saw watching the Sooners – Vols game on TV and that was….

Tennessee head coach Butch Jones had the Sooners on the ropes for much of the game and if not for COACHING LIKE A COWARD and COACHING NOT TO LOSE the Vols could have delivered the knockout punch to Oklahoma many times in the game and when you COACH LIKE A COWARD your precious ass ends up on the Hot Seat and that is where Butch Jones finds his precious ass on this Monday morning!

Oh by the way….below are Butch Jones win/loss records at Tennessee which make a Helluva lot more sense now after seeing him COACH LIKE A COWARD in the Oklahoma game:

Overall:  13 – 14

SEC:  5 – 11

Sorry Butch Jones…we don’t give a Damn if you inherited a wreck of a football program from the combo of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley because IF you are going to the head coach at Tennessee and a head coach in the SEC you first and most importantly must…

NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD!

As Coaches Hot Seat members discussed the outcome of the Oklahoma – Tennessee game on Saturday night after watching a day of college football and that Badass Madison Bumgarner almost throw a perfect game against the San Diego Padres two things were mentioned the most about Butch Jones’ coaching performance against Oklahoma:

1.  Butch Jones COACHED LIKE A COWARD and in many ways COACHED SCARED against Oklahoma on Saturday

AND

2.  Butch Jones clearly DOES NOT trust his quarterback Joshua Dobbs because there were numerous instances in the first and second half of the game against the Sooners where Butch Jones and his new and OLD offensive coordinator could have unleashed Dobbs on OU and put the game out of reach of the Sooners BUT Butch Jones didn’t do that which brings to mind a quote from the Great Bill Walsh on quarterbacks that one of us heard Coach Walsh say a Helluva long time ago:

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Bill Walsh:  “If you don’t trust your quarterback to make plays and decisions on the field then you don’t have a quarterback and you don’t have a leader. A head coach must prepare his starting quarterback to the best of his ability and then trust his quarterback on gameday. To do anything but that would lead me to believe that a team either has the wrong head coach or wrong quarterback….or both. A head coach must trust his quarterback because that trust is fundamental to playing winning football.”

YES….we miss Coach Walsh and YES there are dozens of college football head coaches across America that DO NOT TRUST their quarterback and SHAME on them for that idiocy!

Sorry Butch Jones BUT it was YOU that cost the Tennessee Vols that game against Oklahoma because very simply Butch Jones you…

COACHED LIKE A COWARD….PERIOD.

Up next for Tennessee…

Western Carolina

…which is a SURE win and then COWARD Butch Jones and the Vols play…

At Florida

…and we would recommend that Butch Jones NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD against the Florida Gators because if the Vols lose to the Gators again….

Your ass Butch Jones and thus YOU will find yourself on the Face of the Sun!

SunEarthOh!

 

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10.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members had been watching a tape of the Toledo – Arkansas game on Sunday and after watching things for awhile someone said check the box score on the game for Arkansas and after doing that what about these numbers for the Hogs offense?

Arkansas ran the ball 31 times for 103 yards

Arkansas threw the ball 53 times completing 32 for 412 yards

What in the Freaking Hell Bret Bielema?

So the working theory in Fayetteville must be that Arkansas can run the ball against SEC West teams but not a team from the MAC Conference? Is that right Bret Bielema who seemed in the last week very Damn concerned about Ohio State’s schedule and not the Hogs opponent which just whipped your team’s ass in Little Rock Bret and landed your ass back on the Hot Seat in the process!

YES…like Butch Jones…Bret Bielema COACHED LIKE A COWARD on Saturday but it was a different kind of COWARDICE that Bielema brought out against the Toledo Rockets….it was COWARDICE plus STUPIDITY because if Arkansas had not panicked and had just ran the ball down Toledo’s throat instead of throwing the ball all over the lot they could have won by two touchdowns but instead like in Knoxville and in Columbia…

COWARDLY behavior by the head coach won the day

….and with that COWARDICE the SEC now has FIVE head coaches on the Hot Seat….

Derek Mason, Vanderbilt
Butch Jones, Tennessee
Bret Bielema, Arkansas
Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
Les Miles, LSU

….and if the COWARDLY coaching continues at least three of the above head coaches will NOT be coaching their teams in 2016!

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Memo to Bret Bielema:  This week Bret focus on getting your football team ready to play against Texas Tech because in case you didn’t know it your win/loss records at Arkansas of…

Overall:  11 – 16

SEC:  2 – 14

….are NOT the records that should lead to a head coach popping-off about ANYTHING relative to other football teams around the country especially the Defending National Champions in Ohio State which BEAT Alabama in the Semi-Final Playoff Game in case you forgot Bret!

Oh….lose to Texas Tech Bielema and your ass will be like the Persian Gulf region the last time a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members were in it during the spring and summer of 1991 for Desert Storm which was….

Hotter than Hell!

cc: Jeff Long, Arkansas Athletic Director

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10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2 – Steely Dan Singing Deacon Blues – Bob Stoops and the “Hungry Meter” for College Football Head Coaches

September 11, 2015 0 Comments

We are introducing a new feature at Coaches Hot Seat for the 2015 football season and beyond…the….

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week “X”

…..and to introduce this feature we will use a song from the 1970s Super Band Steely Dan…

Deacon Blues

“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”

Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan singing Deacon Blues!

10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2

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1.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. FIU – After the close 1-point win over FCS team Southern Illinois in Week 1 there is just no way in Hell that Kevin Wilson’s Hoosiers can lose to FIU at home this week because a loss in this spot to a pitiful team from South Florida…

No…not the Miami Hurricanes

…would send Wilson’s ass into a part of the Universe that is Hotter than our Sun and last time we checked the Sun is pretty Damn HOT!

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2.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Iowa – In Paul Rhoads last 25 games at Iowa State his Cyclones have posted the downright startling and depressing win/loss record of…

5 – 20

….and rightly so Paul Rhoads’ ass is now hotter than that coffee that some Idiot spilled on himself and sued McDonald’s about years ago and won BIG which we seem to recall was Pretty, Pretty Hot Coffee which means a loss in this spot to the Iowa Hawkeyes and fellow Hot Seat coach Kirk Ferentz would be nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

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3.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Iowa State – Consider this in the Total Disaster that Iowa Football has become in recent years under the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz:

In Iowa’s last 40 games the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz has posted a win/loss record of…

20 – 20!

That’s right the University of Iowa….or rather the fans of Iowa Football and in many ways collectively college football fans across America that watch all of these college football games on TV have collectively paid Kirk Ferentz over the past four football seasons something on the order of….

$15 Million Dollars

….for 20 Stinking Wins which works out to the amazing number…

$750,000 Per Freaking Win!

Seriously…you CANNOT make this kind of stuff up and thus why Kirk Ferentz and his Iowa Hawkeyes CANNOT lose to Iowa State on Saturday because if they do the above number goes up to….

$800,000 Per Freaking Win!

Hell, if Kirk Ferentz keeps up this Mediocre Football at Iowa by the end of the 2015 college football season he could be getting paid something on the order of…

$1,000,000 Per Freaking Win!

…and that’s good money IF you can find people STUPID enough to pay that kind of money for MEDIOCRITY which Kirk Ferentz has found in the state of Iowa IN SPADES!

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4.  Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Rice – Anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog over the past EIGHT college football seasons knows that we have some good fishing and hunting buddies in the Austin, Texas area who are Texas grads and love showing us “City Boys” what life is like in the Republic of Texas while hunting and fishing and every so often we haul those “Texas Boys” up to Montana to show them what life is like when you really go into backcountry where the trout are large and the grizzly bears will eat your ass if you are not careful!

Getting back to the subject at hand which is….

The Rolling and Raging On Fire Wagon Train

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…that is now Texas football we asked our Austin fishing and hunting buddies what the temperature was down in Texas relative to Charlie Strong and Texas football and their replay was…

“Let’s just say that if Texas loses to Rice on Saturday night Charlie Strong’s house could be on the market and sold before the Horns play Cal the next Saturday!”

Uhhhhh….we would call that the temperature of some wings we used to eat at a chicken wing place in Jacksonville Beach, Florida when a few of us were serving in the US Navy that were the Hottest Damn Wings we have ever put in our mouths and the very simple one word name for those wings was:

“Chernobyl”

This is very simple….Charlie Strong and Texas CANNOT lose to Rice on Saturday night…PERIOD.

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5.  Al Golden, Miami vs. FAU – If there is ONE coach in college football that knows he MUST produce in 2015 meaning win a Helluva lot of football games it is Miami’s head coach Al Golden and in Week 2 Golden and his Hurricanes play Florida Atlantic on Friday night and a loss in this spot with these SIX games up next…

Nebraska
At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
At Clemson
At Duke

…would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and send Al Golden’s ass onto the face of an O Class Star which in case you didn’t know…

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Is One Helluva Hot Place for your ass to be sitting on!

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6.  Les Miles, LSU vs. Mississippi State – We don’t have any fishing and hunting buddies in the state of Louisiana but we have heard that if LSU loses to Mississippi State on Saturday night that Les Miles will not be traveling back to Baton Rouge with the LSU football team but will instead be taken immediately to Cape Kennedy in Florida where several influential LSU boosters have arranged to have Les Miles and his ass launched on a NASA rocket to…

Calvera the closest neutron star to Earth which is approximately 250 to 1000 light-years from Earth

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….which it will take The Mad Hatter several million years to reach and we have also heard that in order to really stick-it-to Les Miles during the entire trip to Calvera those LSU boosters have arranged it so Les Miles will be forced watch a continuous loop replay of the January 2011 BCS Title Game loss to Alabama which most agree was the…

Boringest College Football Game of All Time!

Memo to Les Miles:  Don’t Lose to Mississippi State!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

7.  David Shaw, Stanford vs. UCF – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were on a conference call this week with a “non-athletic related contact” of ours on the Stanford campus who keeps his ears to the ground for us on The Farm since we have to work for a living and cannot hang around the Stanford Athletic Complex and whip the football team into shape which this Stanford football team needs desperately and our “non-athletic related contact” at Stanford said something very Damn interesting on our weekly conference call:

“If Stanford loses to UCF on Saturday there is a very good chance that Stanford doesn’t win 6 games this season because of how fragile and weak this team is and how tough the remaining schedule is.”

Hmmmm….this Stanford football team is “fragile and weak?”

Yep…that was our opinion of the Stanford football team we saw in August on The Farm although our term of…

Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses

…for this the 2015 Stanford football team seems to be a little more on the nose to us!

Let’s look at Stanford’s remaining games in 2015

UCF
At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

Yep…if Stanford cannot beat UCF which just lost to FIU on their home field then…

There is NO WAY IN HELL that Stanford gets close to 6 wins this season which would further validate what we have seen happen in recent years that has turned the once Very Damn Tough Stanford Football Program into the…

Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses

…that will fold-up like a cheap tent bought from Wal-Mart if even the slightest gust of wind hits the campground on The Farm in this case!

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YES….UCF is a CANNOT lose game for Stanford head coach David Shaw but then when the cake has already been mixed and baked there isn’t a Helluva lot that one can do to that cake once it is sitting on the counter of the kitchen!

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8.  Mike Leach, Washington State vs. Rutgers – With Washington State about to look down the pipe of NINE Pac-12 Conference Games that will ALL be very difficult wins for the Cougars if there is a game that Mike Leach and his WSU football team needs to win it is this Saturday’s game against Rutgers because a loss in this spot to fall to 0 – 2 on the season and it will next to impossible for Washington State to get to 6 wins in 2015 and that would make…

Three Out of Four Losing Seasons for Mike Leach at Washington State

YES…beating Rutgers is CRITICAL for Mike Leach and the Cougs!

Bob Stoops

9.  Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. Tennessee – There is no doubt in our minds that Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops would like to get the Sooners back into the running for a National Championship before he is politely told that his services are no longer needed in Norman since being just a little better than average is eventually not going to cut it at OU even for Bob Stoops, BUT when you talk to people around Norman and we mean folks that have some insight….not total insight but some insight….into what is going on the feeling that used to pervade Oklahoma football under Stoops….

That Dammit We ARE Going To Win Big 12 Championships and National Titles or Die Trying

….just NO LONGER EXISTS in Norman and there in a nutshell is what is wrong with OU football.

We are always coming up with new ways to rank college football head coaches here at Coaches Hot Seat and one way we came up with this past Summer was the “Hungry Meter” meaning on a 1 to 10 scale how “Hungry” is EVERY college football head coach to win Games, Championships and National Titles either at his current school or a bigger school if a great job opportunity presented itself. We have been tossing around the idea of publishing our opinion on the “Hungry Level” for each college football head coach BUT it is such a subjective opinion based on admitted less-than-perfect information we have held it back….so far.…BUT we will tell you of what “Hungry Level” we have OU head coach Bob Stoops at on a 1 to 10 scale to win Games, Championships and a National Title with the Sooners which is of course just our opinion:

Bob Stoops was a “10” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2001 to 2008

Bob Stoops was a “9” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2009 to 2011

Bob Stoops was an “8” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2012 to 2014

Bob Stoops current rating on the “Hungry Meter” = 7.8

In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat ANY college football head coach who has a rating of less than “9.5” on the Coaches Hot Seat “Hungry Meter” in today’s incredibly Damn competitive college football landscape has NO DAMN CHANCE to win a Conference Championships and National Titles.

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Two Coaches Hot Seat members will be traveling up from Atlanta to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game and they will report back on what they see from Bob Stoops and the Sooners….and our guess is….OU loses to Tennessee and ends up with 7 or 8 wins on the season and Bob Stoops is DONE at Oklahoma come December either in reality meaning no longer the head coach at OU or just a coach going through the motions hauling down millions of dollars a year for “X” number of years into the future.

Just our opinion.

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10.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Virginia – Of course both Brian Kelly and Virginia head coach Mike London BADLY need a win in this spot BUT this is a game that Brian Kelly CANNOT lose after the Week 1 crushing of the Hapless Texas Longhorns that are still the Texas Longhorns even though they are now Hapless with a Capital “H” under Charlie Strong! With Georgia Tech coming to South Bend a week from Saturday a loss in this spot will not only dash the hopes of Irish faithful all over the country but would set-up the biggest game of Brian Kelly’s career at Notre Dame because a loss to Virginia followed by a loss to the Yellow Jackets at home would more than likely be a irreversible stake into Kelly’s future unless the Irish ran the table the rest of the way and there CANNOT be a Human Being alive on the Earth that believes the Irish could pull that off!

Our guess….Notre Dame whips Virginia just as UCLA did in Week 1….BUT if the Irish flop-around and lose this game to the Cavaliers Brian Kelly might as well travel on down to Cape Kennedy and get on that rocket with Les Miles that is headed to the closest neutron star because South Bend will be a terrible place to be next week even if Kelly will have to watch along with Miles a continuous loop of the 2011 BCS Title Game between LSU and Alabama which thankfully for ALL college football games was So Damn Boring it gave us the College Football Playoff!

Launch of Atlas V GPS IIF-4 from Cape Canaveral AFS

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Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!

September 8, 2015 0 Comments

If you don’t think time flies this is the NINTH college football season that Coaches Hot Seat will be…what exactly?

Throwing out our opinions from the peanut gallery on the job status of college and now NFL head coaches and generally being the all-around “Shit-Disturbers” that our wives love so much?

Yep…that’s about it and to think this entire Coaches Hot Seat “thing” started with seven guys sitting around a table in the bar the Balboa Café in the Marina section of San Francisco in the Fall of 2006 talking about how in the Hell they were going to get Walt Harris’ sorry ass fired as the head coach of the Stanford football team!

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Hell, let’s end this trip down memory lane and get to the subject at hand which is what College Football Head Coaches are on the Hot Seat at the end of Week 1 of the 2015 College Football season! Geez…that felt very Damn good to type that out and with the memories of Week 1 dancing in the heads of Coaches Hot Seat members and college football fans everywhere let’s bring the Late Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling!

Give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!

Post Week 1 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

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1.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – No doubt…Purdue played very hard against a very good Marshall team on Sunday…BUT…is anyone going to argue that a coach in his third season coaching a Big Ten Conference football team…

Darrell Hazell – Purdue

…should lose to a Conference USA team even if that CUSA team is very well coached and a Top 50 team in the country?

NO….no one should argue that it was OK that Purdue lost to Marshall on Sunday with a head coach in his third year on the job and thus that is why Darrell Hazell now sits on the…

No. 1 Hot Seat!

Up next for Hazell and Purdue…

Indiana State

…and then Virginia Tech at home which is a game that in our opinion Purdue can and should win and in a few weeks and thus the Purdue Boilermakers should be….

2 – 1

….when they host Bowling Green on September 26.

Keep coaching these kids up Darrell!

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2.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Really Kevin Wilson? Really?

In Kevin Wilson’s FIFTH season as the head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers football team IU was only able to beat FCB Southern Illinois at home by a score of…

48 – 47

….and that is a Southern Illinois team that put up a record of…

6 – 6

…in 2014!

Really Kevin Wilson?

Here’s the bad news for Kevin Wilson and Indiana…the rest of the Hoosiers non-conference slate after the close win over the Salukis:

FIU – Which just beat UCF

Western Kentucky – Which just beat Vanderbilt

At Wake Forest – Which isn’t that good BUT is sure the Hell better than Southern Illinois!

YES…Kevin Wilson’s head coaching career should be flashing before his eyes right now because it’s on the verge of extinction if the past continues into the future in Bloomington!

YES….we would heartedly recommend your Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday Kevin Wilson!

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3.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – The good news is that Iowa State beat Northern Iowa by a score of 38 – 7 on Saturday and the bad news is that means about as much as…

A Pinto Bean rolling across the heartland of America right now!

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…which means the 2015 college football season actually begins for Paul Rhoads and Iowa State this coming Saturday in their home game against the Iowa Hawkeyes!

With both head coaches in Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz coming into this game on the Hot Seat the Winning Coach will…

Have the HEAT turned down a bit

..and the Losing Coach can be assured…

His ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!

Anyone else ever seen a prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland?

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It isn’t a pretty sight at all and thus why we recommend to BOTH Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz they BOTH win this game which when one thinks about it pretty much assures that either Rhoads or Ferentz’s…

Ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!

….come next Monday morning!

Oh…Paul Rhoads record against Iowa in six seasons at Iowa State is…

2 – 4

…which is a winning percentage of .333% which is not all that different than Rhoads overall winning percentage coaching the Cyclones which now sit at .395%!

4.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Score from Saturday’s game:

Florida – 61
NMSU – 13

Doug Martin’s record at New Mexico State:

4 – 21

Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!

Enough said on New Mexico State!

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5.  Mike London, Virginia – In the South when Southerners are really feeling sorry for your ass but in reality they really don’t give a Damn about your predicament they will say something like….

“Well, just bless your heart.”

We are not going to say…

“Well, just bless your heart.”

…to Virginia head coach Mike London after his Cavaliers got blasted 34 – 16 by UCLA on Saturday because we truly would like to see Mike London succeed at UVA but then how can anyone look at the following records for Mike and not put London’s ass on the Hot Seat?

Overall:  23 – 29
ACC:  11 – 29

If the above continues in 2015 and thus can keep someone employed at the University of Virginia we will be applying to UVA soon for a job because you evidently can fail like a Sorry Son of a Bitch and make Millions of Dollars a year at the school that Thomas Jefferson founded!

Oh..up next for Virginia….

Notre Dame at home!

“Well, just bless Mike London’s heart,” Notre Dame fans around America are now saying in unison!

6.  Trent Miles, Georgia State – Score from Saturday’s game:

Charlotte – 23
Georgia State – 20

Trent Miles record at Georgia State:

1 – 24

Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!

Enough said on Georgia State!

7.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Southern Miss played a decent game against Mississippi State for about a half BUT we nor anyone else with a working brain gave Todd Monken and his Golden Eagles much of a chance to beat the Bulldogs which means there is yet another loss on the board and that leave Monken’s records in his third season on the job in Hattiesburg at…

Overall:  4 – 21

Conference:  2 – 14

YES…Larry Fedora did win 12 games in the 2011 season at Southern Miss and now over the last three seasons plus Southern Miss has won….

4 Football Games!

Shocking…just Damn Shocking!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – It’s one thing in your second year on the job at Texas to take your football team to South Bend, Indiana and lose to Notre Dame.

There is no shame in losing to Notre Dame after all BUT in Charlie Strong’s second year on the job at Texas Strong took his Longhorns to South Bend and lost…

38 – 3

….in a performance where…

The Texas Offense did not exist

The Texas Defense did not exist

The Texas Special Teams barely existed

…which makes us wonder here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Just what in the Hell has Charlie Strong and his football coaches been doing since the end of the 2014 football season?

The answer to that question is evidently NOTHING AT ALL!

On top of that Texas has a QB that would be lucky to run SIXTH string on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag-Football team who from where we sit has NO DAMN ABILITY to lead anyone to do anything which really makes us wonder what exactly is going on at Texas right now because it may be the case that…

Charlie Strong and the Texas assistant football coaches…

Don’t Have A Freaking Clue!

Now at 0 – 1 here is what Texas has left on the schedule in 2015:

Rice
California
Oklahoma State
At TCU
Oklahoma
Kansas State
At Iowa State
Kansas
At West Virginia
Texas Tech
At Baylor

Hell…there is a REAL chance that Texas….YES Texas…IF the Longhorns play like they did against Notre Dame will…

NOT win another football game in 2015!

Memo to Charlie Strong:  If your Texas football team loses to Rice and California and you then lose to Oklahoma State, TCU and Oklahoma you will be fired before the Iowa State game so here’s a thought for you Charlie…

We would recommend your football team actually show-up against a Rice team that checking the Owls roster does not have ONE player on their team that Texas recruited!

YES…this Saturday’s game against Rice at home in Austin is the BIGGEST game of Charlie Strong’s coaching career because with a loss in this spot to the Owls it will only be a matter of WHEN and not IF Charlie Strong will be fired in Austin so we would recommend someone on the Texas coaching staff get the attention of the Texas football players before Saturday!

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9.  Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and Miami did what they had to do in Week 1 and beat Bethune-Cookman by a score of 45 – 0 and now the 2015 college football season begins for Al Golden and Miami with a trip to play FAU in Boca Raton in a game that Al Golden and Miami…

CANNOT LOSE!

Lose to FAU with Nebraska and a game at Cincinnati left on the non-conference schedule before starting ACC play at Florida State and Al Golden will be in a Helluva HOT spot for the rest of the 2015 college football season!

10.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – In a home game against Western Kentucky that Derek Mason and Vanderbilt HAD TO WIN the Commodores lost to WKU and now Derek Mason is really in a Helluva spot with Georgia coming to Nashville this Saturday. We will say that Vanderbilt looked better on defense and better on offense against Western Kentucky than in the 2014 season BUT the margin for error is very small for Derek Mason and he will probably need 4 or maybe 5 wins to return for the 2016 season and with that let’s take a look at what Vanderbilt has left on the schedule in 2015:

Georgia
Austin Peay
At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

Geez….can Derek Mason and Vanderbilt really find four or maybe five wins playing the above remaining games?

We would be STUNNED if Vanderbilt wins four or five games in 2015 is our answer to that question!

11 – 30 Post Week 1 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!

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