1. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > When you are sitting on a record of 37 – 21 in 5 seasons at Texas A&M which ain’t good at all if anyone’s asking one starts to wonder just what in the Hell is inside that Very Average Record and so we took at look it and Jimbo Fisher’s…
Record against FBS Teams with .500+ Records in Year the Aggies played them is…wait for it…
17 – 20
The $86 Million Buyout Man has a record of 17 – 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ records!
If that doesn’t say it all then what the Hell does exactly?
Geez…Texas A&M has paid Jimbo Fisher around $40 Million Dollars and his ass is sitting on a record of…
17 and Freaking 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ Records!
Yep…this will all be corrected by continuing this Damn Nonsense for another year!
2. Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald whose ass have a hard time getting a job Shoveling Shit if not on the Northwestern campus in our humble opinion not that Pretty Boy Patty Boy have the Guts to take a job in the Real World where your ass actually has got to perform to get paid lost another game on Saturday which drops the Non-Fighting Candy Ass Wildcats to 1 – 10 on the season with only a game against Illinois left on the docket…the High Tea + Crumpets Docket that is!
What happens to a football program when you go Total Candy Ass?
Northwestern Football right now is the answer to that question so any coaches out there thinking of following Pretty Boy Patty Boy down the Yellow Lollipop Non-Brick Road of Total Candy Ass don’t do it…Just Don’t Do It!
3. David Shaw, Stanford > Only David Shaw down by 10 points at the end of a football game would run a field goal kicker onto the field to try a meaningless field goal in the Candy Ass Game between Stanford and Cal and what a Perfect Summary for Stanford Football the last 4 seasons…
Kicking A Meaningless Field Goal for what reason exactly?
To sooth the egos of Worthless Candy Asses that wouldn’t know how to play the Game of Football on the best day of their lives?
The Last 4 Seasons David Shaw’s record at Stanford is now…wait for it…
14 – 27
Stanford coulda have hired Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown who fell off the Cal Train at the Palo Alto Station and made him Head Football Coach at Stanford and done better than that but then Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown wouldn’t have turned Stanford Football into Total Candy Asses who don’t know how to…
Block, Tackle, Hit, Run, Do Damn Anything that has Anything To Do With the Game of Football in America!
To say that Stanford Football is a Damn Disgrace to Stanford, to College Football, and to the American Republic and its People is Self-Evident but what may not be Self-Evident to folks that don’t follow Stanford Football closely is that in the Spring of 2019 David Shaw and the Stanford Coaching Staff were warned if they turned the Cardinal Football Players into Total Candy Asses it would be a Total Disaster and guess what happened…
Yep…A Total Freaking Damn Disaster!
Shameful….Just Damn Shameful….on Every Damn Imaginable Level!
4. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > We got to see New Mexico play football this past Friday night and now we know why Danny Gonzalez has been a Total Disaster in Albuquerque…
New Mexico is one of the Most Fundamentally Unsound Football Teams we have seen in 40+ years of watching College Football
…and now you know why Gonzales is sitting on a record of….
7 – 23
….in 3 seasons with the Lobos!
Surely this Total Disaster cannot continue!
5. Neal Brown, West Virginia > West Virginia has a proud football tradition going back for decades now and Neal Brown in 4 seasons at WVU is now sitting on records of…
Overall > 21 – 25
Big 12 > 13 – 21
…and thus it’s Self-Evident why West Virginia will have a New Head Football Coach in 2023!
6. Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The folks at Arkansas State are mighty proud of how far they have come with their football program in recent years and rightly so and thus Butch Jones in 2 seasons on the job at ASU sitting on records of….
Overall > 5 – 17
Sun Belt > 3 – 12
…has got to mean that Butch is about to get his ass run out of Jonesboro….Right?
7. Philip Montgomery, Tulsa > Ole Philip has had a nice…make that Yo-Yo run….at Tulsa in the last 8 seasons posting….
4 Winning Seasons in 8 Years on the job
…and records of…
Overall > 42 – 53
AAC: 27 – 34
Surely this cannot continue at a place that is proud of their football as the folks in Tulsa are of theirs….Right?
Maybe it can…if you willing to Accept Average As Hell!
8. Jeff Hafley, Boston College > After two seasons of 6 – 5 and 6 – 6 for Jeff Hafley at Boston College which is Average at Best at BC we expected the Eagles to be a little better in 2022 but they have been a Total Disaster and after a blowout loss at the hands of Notre Dame where it looked like the BC players were hardly trying the Eagles are 3 – 8 with only a game at reeling Syracuse left on the schedule.
Will Boston College bother to show up to play against Syracuse in a game they could easily win?
If not then Hafley should be fired right after the game!
9. Mario Cristobal, Miami > Against a Clemson Team that has given up 20+ points in 6 of its 8 ACC Conference Games in 2022 Miami was only able to score 10 points and couldn’t get even 100 yards of Total Offense and like we said weeks ago in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog…
Either Mario Cristobal will get his hands off the Miami Offense and let the Canes run something above a Pee Wee Level Offense or Mario’s ass will be run right out of Miami!
The Canes are now 5 – 6 on the season with none of those wins coming against FBS teams with .500+ records and they got a game against Pittsburgh at home left to try and get to even Pitiful Bowl Eligible and if Miami cannot find a way to rally and win this game at home then Mario Cristobal will start the 2023 season on one of the Hottest Preseason Hot Seat in recent College Football History and will be at risk of getting his ass run right out of South Florida after only 2 years on the job if he posted another sub .500 record!
Don’t lose to Pitt now Mario!
10. Jedd Fisch, Arizona > Arizona has looked better in Year 2 than Year 1 under Jedd Fisch but Facts Are Stubborn Things is what John Adams is to have reported to have said and in two years on the job Jedd Fisch’s records at Arizona now stand at >
Overall > 5 – 17
Pac-12 > 3 – 13
Recent Head Coaches Records after 2 seasons at Arizona >
Kevin Sumlin > 9 – 15 Rich Rodriguez > 16 – 10 Mike Stoops> 6 – 16
Can Arizona beat Arizona State on Saturday so that Jedd Fisch can at least match Mike Stoops 6 wins in his first two seasons at Arizona?
We sure don’t know the answer to that question but win or lose to the Sun Devils it’s still….
1. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > You gotta feel for the Average Texas A&M Football Fan because…
They got a Head Coach that 95% of Aggies fans would love to fire tomorrow and yet…
They cannot fire Jimbo’s Ass because they would own him $86M Large if they did!
Got Damn Lunacy on Steroids?
Yep and what a Helluva Lesson that no one in College Athletics will learn a Damn Thing from but here’s the Real Kicker and hold onto your sides because your ass is about to breakout laughing like a Hyena drunk on East Tennessee River Moonshine >
If the Aggies fire Jimbo’s Ass after the 2023 season they will owe him…wait for it…
$77M Large!
As one Aggie Buddy of ours in Houston told us on Sunday…
“Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures and since our Aggies asses are in a sling here with Jimbo there are 500,000 Aggies alums in the world today and if each one of them just donated $172 each we could fire Jimbo’s Damn Ass this afternoon! Just for good measure I will throw in $1,720 to really get the ball rolling and Hell if we lose to Auburn this coming Saturday make that $17,200!”
Oh…the Aggies go to Auburn on Saturday to play a fired-up Tigers team under Cadillac Williams and you know what that means…
Aggies and Jimbo about to get their asses handed to them on The Plains by a team with an Interim Head Coach and Roster that has about 50% of the Talent of Texas A&M!
$172 Per Aggie…Time To Pony Up Aggies and end this Damn Stupidity before it gets really bad in Aggieland and you ain’t no where the Rock Bottom that is coming Aggies…trust us on that one!
2. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy and his Non-Fighting Wildcats lost another game on Saturday and over the last 4 seasons for Pretty Boy Patty Boy that’s a record of…
14 – 28
….which a Perfect Pretty Boy Patty Boy Winning Percentage of…wait for it…
.333!
Pass the Tea & Crumpets because Mr. .333 Pretty Boy Patty Boy is on a number that rhymes with…
Tea, Tea, Tea
…which his Non-Fighting Wildcats take each day at High Noon instead of practicing and then they have a Fun, Fun, Fun Goose Down Pillow Fight in a warm room inside the Northwestern Athletic Complex because Pretty Boy Patty Boy’s players can’t be getting their little tushes cold now outside….no we can’t have that!
The Non-Fighting Wildcats with a loss on Saturday are now at…
1 – 8
….on the season and have left games against….
At Minnesota At Purdue Illinois
Got 14 – 31 the last 4 seasons which would be a Winning Percentage of .311 for Pretty Boy Patty Boy?
Great Thing is .311 Rhymes with….
Tea + One + One = Tea + 1 Crumpet + 1 Goose Down Pillow for All the Non-Fighting Wildcats Players = Oh So Special!
3. Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The Butch Jones Era at Arkansas State the last 2 seasons summed-up in a movie clip >
That Is All!
4. David Shaw, Stanford > If you know a Damn Thing about the Game of Football you can Hear a Great Football Practice going on instead of having to See It and the Stanford alums at Coaches Hot Seat noticed something beginning in the 2018 season when they on the Stanford campus that really cranked-up in the Spring and Fall before the 2019 season that they started talking about a lot years ago now >
Stanford Football was no longer practicing Football but were instead what one Coaches Hot Seat Member described as “Glorified Tiddly-Winks!”
Well…since Stanford Football began their Glorified Tiddly-Winks Horseshit their Head Coach David Shaw has posted a record the last 4 seasons of…
14 – 25
As you can see this is very similar to the Win/Loss Record of Pretty Boy Patty Boy Fitzgerald at Northwestern and the Common Theme with both programs >
Their Asses Quit Practicing Football but instead…you got it…just been doing Glorified Tiddly Winks = Total Horseshit!
When your ass practices like Total Candy Asses guess what your ass gonna play like?
Total Damn Candy Asses and the Biggest Candy Asses in America today >
The Stanford Non-Damn Football Team!
It’s Shameful but David Shaw has No Shame, No Pride, Not One Damn Thing beyond…
Total Damn Arrogance that his Ass is God Almighty on Earth and anyone that would dare disagree with him is a Worthless Shit!
Sorry David….Your Damn Idiocy has Totally Destroyed Stanford Football!
Be Proud…Be Damn Proud of the Damn Losers you have created with Damn Idiocy!
Stanford is now 3 – 6 on the season after getting Totally Destroyed by 4 – 4 Washington State team at home on The Farm and the Candy Asses have left >
At Utah = Will Totally Destroy Stanford
At Cal = Who knows in what should be known as the Total Candy Ass Game instead of the Big Game!
BYU = Will Probably Totally Destroy Stanford
5. Justin Wilcox, California > Somehow the Cal Offense could only score 13 points on Awful Colorado just a few weeks ago and yet they scored 35 points on the USC Defense says all you gotta know about the Damn Idiocy of the Trojans Defense and with that loss to USC Justin Wilcox’s records at Cal in 6 seasons stands at >
Overall: 29 – 34
Pac-12: 16 – 30
We don’t have a clue what Cal expects out of their football program but it’s got to better than the above records…Right?
6. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > New Mexico lost at Utah State which has been reeling itself of late and that drops the Lobos record in 2022 to 2 – 7 and Danny Gonzales records at UNM to >
Overall: 7 – 21
MWC: 3 – 17
Surely this cannot continue…Right?
7. Neal Brown, West Virginia > We are not quite sure what West Virginia expected out of Neal Brown when they hired him 4 seasons ago but it can’t be this >
Overall: 20 – 24
Big 12: 12 – 20
That 20 – 24 is a .455 Winning % and the last WVU Head Coach Dana Holgorsen posted a….
.598 Winning %
Surely this cannot continue…Right?
8. Jedd Fisch, Arizona > The Winning Percentages of the Last 5 Arizona Head Coaches >
John Mackovic = .357 = Fired Mike Stoops = .451 = Fired Rich Rodriguez = .551 = Fired Kevin Sumlin = .310 = Fired
Jedd Fisch = .190
Arizona is now 3 – 6 on the 2022 season and has left to play >
At UCLA Washington State Arizona State
9. Jeff Hafley, Boston College > In what has got to be the Weakest ACC Football Conference in 2022 that we have seen in a Helluva Long Time it’s really perplexing that Boston College is Weaker than most with BC sitting on a record of…
2 – 7
…in 2022 and their Head Coach Jeff Hafley now having records posted of….
Overall: 14 – 18
ACC: 8 – 16
Boston College at 2 – 7 has left this season >
At NC State At Notre Dame Syracuse
That looks like 2 – 10 to us and a Helluva Problem for the folks up on Chestnut Hill…a Helluva Problem!
10. Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – We didn3t expect Navy to beat Cincinnati on Saturday but they kept the game close before losing 20 – 10 to drop their record to 3 – 6 on the season with these games left >
Notre Dame in Baltimore At UCF Army
Geez…with Kenny Boy sitting on record the last 3 seasons of…
10 – 21
…that sure looks like 2 more losses to us and then the Army game against a Very Average Army team and…
With the 2018 College Football Spring Games almost complete it’s time to take a look at the Head Coaches now sitting on the Hot Seat and look towards the Fall as we celebrate Spring and look towards Summer vacations ourselves. We also need to look ahead to the 2018 schedules for each of the teams with Head Coaches on the Hot Seat and guess on a win/loss record and if the Head Coach will still be employed by the school by the time the middle of December rolls around.
Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give a Spring Hello to the Head Coaches now on the Hot Seat! Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!
#1 – 10 CFB Head Coaches on the Hot Seat – May 2018
1. David Beaty, Kansas – David Beaty is entering his 4 th season as the head coach of the Kansas Jayhawks and his records are Not Good…make that…they are Damn Ugly!
Overall: 3 – 33
Big 12: 1 – 26
Let’s not forget in this spot that current Kansas AD Sheahon Zenger also hired Charlie Weis to coach Kansas in 2012 and Weis + Beaty’s records combined with Interim Head Coach Clint Bowen have posted records over the past 6 years of….
Overall: 9 – 62
Big 12: 3 – 51
If you were wondering how Sheaon Zenger is still employed at Kansas you are not alone but let’s look at the 2018 schedule for the Total Damn Disaster that is the Kansas Football Program and see where this train wreck is going:
Nicholls At Central Michigan Rutgers At Baylor Oklahoma State At West Virginia At Texas Tech TCU Iowa State At Kansas State At Oklahoma Texas
That looks to us like a record of….
1 – 11
OR
2 – 10
…..for Kansas in 2018 and there’s no way David Beaty can survive another Total Damn Disaster of a season….right?
Who the Hell knows….after all….this is Kansas!
2. Lovie Smith, Illinois – We still haven’t a clue why Lovie Smith was hired as the head football coach at Illinois since Lovie did nothing in his coaching career to make us think he would EVER be a successful college head coach.
In fact, having watched Lovie Smith coach closely in his 11 seasons as the head coach of the Chicago Bears and Tampa Bay Buccaneers it’s our opinion that Lovie is a classic “NFL Coach” and therefore would always be an Average College Head Coach at best and so far….
Lovie has been a Well-Below Average College Head Coach!
Lovie Smith’s records at Illinois:
Overall: 5 – 19
Big Ten: 2 – 16
Not good….let’s look at the 2018 Illinois Football Schedule to see where this may be going….
Kent State Western Illinois USF Penn State At Rutgers Purdue At Wisconsin At Maryland Minnesota At Nebraska Iowa At Northwestern
That looks like 3 or 4 wins for Lovie Smith and the Illini in 2018 and….
There’s Not A Chance In Hell Lovie Smith can survive 4 win or less season and return to coach Illinois in 2019.
3. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – If anyone had told us before the 2013 college football season that Kliff Kingsbury would be sitting on records of…
Overall: 30 – 33
Big 12: 16 – 29
….at Texas Tech and that Kliff still be the head coach of the Red Raiders we wouldn’t believe it and yet….
Kliff Kingsbury is still the head coach in Lubbock!
Got Nuts? Yep!
Can Kliff Kingsbury possibly keep his job by posting another .500 or so records each season at Texas Tech?
We haven’t a Damn Clue but the standards have been lowered so much for Texas Tech Football maybe Kliff can hang onto his job in the middle of an incredibly Mediocre Run the last 5 seasons and with that in mind let’s look at the Red Raiders 2018 schedule…
Ole Miss Lamar Houston At Oklahoma State West Virginia At TCU Kansas At Iowa State Oklahoma Texas At Kansas State Baylor
Best Case Scenario: Texas Tech wins 7 games
Worst Case Scenario: Texas Tech wins 4 games
Can Kliff Kingsbury survive to coach Texas Tech another year with just 7 wins in 2018?
Maybe so…and that says a Helluva Lot about how accepting of Mediocrity folks in Lubbock have become and let’s just hope that disease doesn’t spread to the rest of America because it would destroy our country!
4. Luke Fickell, Cincinnati – Luke Fickell is entering his 3 rd season as a head coach in his 2 nd year at Cincinnati and fans of college football will remember that Fickell took over a Loaded Ohio State team after Jim Tressel got fired in the Spring of 2011 and promptly went 6 – 6 taking his team to a Gator Bowl which cost an undefeated Ohio State football team a chance to play for a National Title in 2012 under Urban Meyer.
The question for us here at Coaches Hot Seat as we look at Fickell’s two years as a head coach….
Overall: 10 – 15
Conference: 5 – 11
…and his record at Cincinnati after one year….
Overall: 4 – 8
AAC: 2 – 6
….does Luke Fickell have a Damn Clue how to be a head coach?
That question will be answered in 2018 because this 2 nd season under Fickell should be a bounce-back year to at least a .500 record and with that in mind let’s look at the Bearcats 2018 schedule:
At UCLA At Miami (Ohio) Alabama A&M Ohio At UConn Tulane At Temple At SMU Navy USF At UCF East Carolina
Cincinnati should win at least…6 games in 2018….but will Fickell coach the Bearcats to at least 6 wins?
No….in our humble opinion and more than likely because Fickell has a Totally Damn Absurd buyout in his contract the folks at Cincinnati will have to tolerate Below Mediocrity for the foreseeable future….in our humble opinion!
5. Kalani Sitake, BYU – Kalani Sitake took over a BYU Football team from former head coach Bronco Mendenhall who posted…
11 straight winning seasons
….which Sitake continued in Year 1 with a record of….
9 – 4
…but in Year 2 the Cougars dropped to…
4 – 9
….and now Sitake is coaching for his job because we don’t think there’s ANY CHANCE the folks in Provo will tolerate two straight losing seasons which takes us to BYU’s 2018 schedule:
At Arizona California At Wisconsin McNeese At Washington Utah State Hawaii Northern Illinois At Boise State At UMass New Mexico State At Utah
There’s at least 6 wins on that schedule and thus No Good Excuse for Kalani Sitake and his Cougars to have a losing record in 2018!
6. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – When one looks at Jim Harbaugh’s records in three years at Michigan…
2015: 10 – 3 2016: 10 – 3 2017: 8 – 5
Overall: 28 – 11
Big Ten: 18 – 8
….they don’t look too bad but when realizes that Michigan has played 22 FBS teams with .500 or better records the last three seasons and Jimmy’s record against those teams is…
10 – 12
….it’s easy to understand why Jimmy is now sitting on the Hot Seat!
Jim Harbaugh is being paid an enormous amount of money….
$7 Million Plus Annually
……to build a Championship Football Program at Michigan meaning….
Winning Big Ten Championships Playing in College Football Playoff Winning National Championships
….and in April 2018 the above goals seem so far away one must start to wonder….
How long can this Mediocrity continue for Jim Harbaugh at Michigan?
The word from a close Michigan alum in San Francisco is….
“If Jim only wins 8 games again in 2018 he will not be the head coach of Blue in December.”
With that in mind let’s look at the 2018 Michigan Football Schedule:
At Notre Dame Western Michigan SMU Nebraska At Northwestern Maryland Wisconsin At Michigan State Penn State At Rutgers Indiana At Ohio State
If Michigan can beat Notre Dame in South Bend on the opening weekend then maybe Blue can be 3 – 0 heading into Big Ten play but with Scott Frost now in Lincoln, and the second game at Northwestern, along with at least FOUR other Big Ten games where Michigan might be the underdog it’s not hard to conjure up another….
8 – 4
…record of Michigan in 2018 and if that happens….
Michigan will have a new head football coach before January 1, 2019.
Where could Jim Harbaugh end up if things don’t work out at Michigan?
Our guess —-> New York Jets for 2019 season!
7. Ed Orgeron, LSU – In two seasons at LSU Ed Orgeron is sitting on records of…
Overall: 15 – 6
SEC: 10 – 4
….but let’s get serious here in the last two seasons under Coach O LSU has played…
14 FBS Teams with .500 or better records
…and the Tigers’ record in those games is…
8 – 6
…and in case you didn’t know it…
That’s NOT LSU Football!
Let’s go to the 2018 LSU schedule to see where this could be going in Baton Rouge….
Miami (Dallas) SE Louisiana At Auburn La. Tech Ole Miss At Florida Georgia Mississippi State Alabama At Arkansas Rice At Texas A&M
Geez…that’s a pretty TOUGH schedule and if LSU loses that opening game to Miami in Dallas it’s not hard to imagine the Tigers being…
3 – 2
…heading to Gainesville to play Florida with….
Georgia Mississippi State Alabama
….up next for Coach O.
Our guess….LSU ends up with a record of….
5 – 7
…in 2018 and LSU had a new head football coach before January 1, 2019!
This would be a GREAT season for Lane Kiffin to put up 11 – 1 or at worst 10 – 2 season at Florida Atlantic which opens the season at Oklahoma if Lane is hoping to get a head coaching job in the SEC namely in Baton Rouge!
8. Major Applewhite, Houston – Big Houston booster Tilman Fertita has made it clear he is not going to tolerate Houston football slipping back into Mediocrity after the Cougars posted a record of…
22 – 4
….in Tom Herman’s two seasons at Houston which is especially GREAT compared to the….
7 – 6
…record that Major Applewhite posted in his first year on the job in H-Town!
We have it on “very good authority” that if Major Applewhite wins less than…
10 Games in 2018
….that his job will be in serious jeopardy after the Cougars play at Memphis on November 23.
With that in mind let’s go to the 2018 Houston schedule:
At Rice Arizona At Texas Tech Texas Southern Tulsa At East Carolina At Navy USF At SMU Temple Tulane At Memphis
If you think Houston is going to win at least 10 games with the above schedule then you are seeing something we aren’t for Damn sure!
9. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – You can sit around all day trying to figure out why North Carolina took a step back in 2017 under head coach Larry Fedora but when one realizes that the Tar Heels were ranked…
#88 in Scoring Defense giving up 31.3 points per game
AND
#83 in Scoring Offense scoring 26 points per game
…you are not going to win a Helluva lot of football games and thus the…
3 – 9
….UNC record last season!
Larry Fedora’s records in SIX seasons at North Carolina don’t look too bad…
Overall: 43 – 34
ACC: 27 – 21
….but Fedora cannot survive another losing season in Chapel Hill and with that let’s look at the Tar Heels 2016 schedule:
At California At East Carolina UCF Pitt At Miami Virginia Tech At Syracuse At Virginia Georgia Tech At Duke Western Carolina NC State
It may be hard for North Carolina to win at least 6 games in 2018 with that schedule unless there is a dramatic turnaround on both sides of the ball and if UNC only wins 5 games this coming season…
Larry Fedora’s head coaching career is probably OVER at least at the Power 5 Level….which should be Plenty of Damn Pressure to motivate Larry!
10. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – The most Damning record for Dana Holgorsen in his SIX seasons at West Virginia is the Mountaineers record in Big 12 Conference play since WVU joined the Big 12 in the 2012 season:
27 – 27
Getting above .500 and going to bowl games at West Virginia each season which is certainly geographically challenged in the Big 12 Conference is kind of an accomplishment….but come on now….don’t we all expect more out of West Virginia football that just…
Mediocrity?
YES!
Let’s look at West Virginia’s 2018 schedule….
Tennessee (Charlotte) Youngstown State At NC State Kansas State At Texas Tech Kansas At Iowa State Baylor At Texas TCU At Oklahoma State Oklahoma
That looks like another 7 – 5 season for Holgorsen at West Virginia in 2018 and will that be acceptable to the folks in Morgantown?
We haven’t a Damn Clue…but we sure Hell wouldn’t accept it!
A couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa from last Thursday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon for the Ole Miss – Alabama football game and to interview a few University of Alabama Culverhouse College of Commerce which they report is a mighty Damn fine school of business and late last night after doing some poking around the Alabama football program also the last few days they filed what they called…
The State of Alabama Football
…report which is Damn fascinating reading that is most certainly NOT for public consumption since many of the conclusions would probably land our asses in court if we published them in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog but we can say in this spot that…
There is something rotten in the state of Tuscaloosa!
What exactly is going on with Alabama football right now and where is the Crimson Tide football program headed into the future?
Well…and these are our opinions here at Coaches Hot Seat mind you….BUT…the bottom-line conclusion of our folks on the ground in Tuscaloosa on The State of Alabama Football is…
Nick Saban overreacted to the “Kick 6” loss to Auburn at the end of the 2013 season which eventually led to Saban firing Bama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier and to the hiring of Lane Kiffin under what we will call…
“Dubious and Pressured Circumstances and in many ways forced on Nick Saban by “a couple of folks” in the name of “saving Lane Kiffin” precious ass when Kiffin’s coaching career was going into the toilet where it rightly belonged then and belongs today!”
…..and now instead of Nick Saban spending his time as the head coach at Alabama and primarily working on the defensive side of the ball Saban now spends upwards of 50% of his time overseeing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and the Alabama offense.
In the opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that spent several days in Tuscaloosa the once mighty Alabama offense which won three national titles for Nick Saban and was focused on controlling the ball, dominating the opposing team’s defense, and generally destroying the will of their opponents has now been “hollowed-out” by the implementation of Kiffin’s hurry-up spread offense that prizes showcasing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and Little Damn Else!
In case anyone was wondering below is the definition of “hollowed-out” as an adjective, noun and verb according to dictionary.com:
Hollowed-Out adjective, hollower, hollowest. 1. having a space or cavity inside; not solid; empty: a hollow sphere. 2. having a depression or concavity: a hollow surface. 3. sunken, as the cheeks or eyes. 4. (of sound) not resonant; dull, muffled, or deep: a hollow voice. 5. without real or significant worth; meaningless: a hollow victory. 6. insincere or false: hollow compliments. 7. hungry; having an empty feeling: I feel absolutely hollow, so let’s eat. noun 8. an empty space within anything; a hole, depression, or cavity. 9. a valley: They took the sheep to graze in the hollow. 10. Foundry. a concavity connecting two surfaces otherwise intersecting at an obtuse angle. verb (used with object) 11. to make hollow (often followed by out): to hollow out a log. 12. to form by making something hollow (often followed by out): to hollow a place in the sand; boats hollowed out of logs.
Yep…that’s the Alabama offense under Lane Kiffin…
Freaking Hollowed-Out!
On a related note the two Coaches Hot Seat members got to see Nick Saban close-up and we mean close-up…within 10 feet…before the Ole Miss – Alabama game and they wrote in their report on The State of Alabama Football about the appearance of Nick Saban and the Alabama coaching staff:
“Nick Saban looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks if not months. The area below his eyes were very swollen suggesting severe fatigue and it looked as if Saban had aged 10 years since the last time we saw him close-up at the Oklahoma – Alabama Sugar Bowl game in January 2013.
There is a noticeable tension among the Alabama coaching staff with both the staff and players looking very nervous and not confident at all right before kick-off of the game against Ole Miss. The Alabama sideline and coaches were much more subdued in the game against Ole Miss compared to when we have seen Alabama in-person in the past, and it seems the coaches and players were taking cues from Nick Saban who seemed unhappy before the game, miserable during the game, and in a complete daze as the game ended. It almost seemed like the Alabama coaches and players came into the game expecting to lose to Ole Miss and that is exactly what happened in a real world case of what one feared most becoming reality.
We foresee changes to the Alabama coaching staff in the upcoming offseason with Lane Kiffin leaving soon after the season is over if not before and maybe Nick Saban leaving Alabama if the right head coaching job offer came along because it seems that Saban is miserable having to meet the never-ending expectations at Alabama where winning games and championships isn’t expected but rather a birthright given to Alabama by God himself. Nick Saban needs a new challenge for the last 7 to 10 years of his coaching career and trying to keep winning championships at Alabama where not winning a National Title every year is akin to insulating Bama fans across the globe doesn’t look like much fun which means we believe Nick Saban will either be working in television a year from now or coaching the Texas Longhorns.”
There is a Helluva lot more in the 14 page report including an entertaining section on just what in the Hell is wrong with the Alabama offense which his titled:
“How Lane Kiffin Destroyed A Championship Winning Offense in Two Years While Getting His Ass Kissed by the Media”
OK…enough on Alabama for now….because we will have a Helluva lot more to say about Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Paul Finebaum, Jimmy Sexton, and “Y Person” if Alabama loses to Georgia and lands all four of the above Bastards on the Hot Seat with an analysis of the Complete and Total Idiocy that led to Nick Saban hiring Lane Kiffin at Alabama which may just turn-out to be one of the Stupidest Decisions in the history of sports in America as Kiffin brings down one of the Great College Football Dynasties in the history of the game and for what…to save the coaching career of Lane Freaking Kiffin!
Oh, please let Georgia beat Alabama….although in our opinion…
Georgia is NOT MAN ENOUGH to beat Alabama!
Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!
Come on down Johnny Cash because we have a few Coaches on the Hot Seat that love to hear you sing Ring of Fire…NOT REALLY!
21. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles got a nice win over Texas State on the road on Saturday by the score of 56 – 50 which runs the USM record to 2 – 1 in 2015 and gives Monken’s team the opportunity to win a decent amount of games this season AND get Todd Monken off the Hot Seat!
In his third season at Southern Miss Todd Monken now has win/loss records of…
Overall: 6 – 21
CUSA: 2 – 14
….and a game at Nebraska this coming Saturday. Can Southern Miss possibly beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln and in the process further turn up the heat on Mike Riley’s ass in the process?
Probably not…BUT…the goal for Todd Monken and Southern Miss is to get to 6 wins in 2015 and with 2 wins on the board all the Golden Eagles need now is 4 wins and out of their last 9 games and if Monken can’t accomplish that in his third season on the job then his ass deserves to be on the Hot Seat!
22. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and the Miami Hurricanes did their Damndest to give away the game to Nebraska on Saturday but in the end the Canes got the win in overtime and now it is on to Cincinnati for the 3 – 0 “U” which is a game that a Miami head coach in his FIFTH year on the job at Miami just flat-out CANNOT LOSE!
With Florida State up next Miami MUST beat Cincinnati on the road on October 1 as they look for the “9 to 10 wins” that Al Golden MUST have to remain the Hurricanes coach in 2016 and with these games left to play it’s easy to see why Cincinnati is a MUST WIN Game!
At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech Clemson At Duke Virginia At North Carolina Georgia Tech At Pitt
Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule for Al Golden…but Hell this is “The U” we are talking about here so if the Canes beat Cincinnati we are expecting a….
10 – 2
…final regular season record at the worst!
Coach ‘Em Up Al Golden!
23. Craig Bohl, Wyoming – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has yet figured out why Craig Bohl left powerhouse FCS program North Dakota State for FBS weakling Wyoming because it was our opinion that Bohl was in line for a BIG FBS job after all his success at NDSU which we thought might be Nebraska once Bo Pelini was run out of Lincoln which was always going to happen eventually….right? RIGHT!
Maybe Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska got the word from the folks in Lincoln that he was never going to jump from North Dakota State to his alma mater BUT if we had been the AD at Nebraska we would have fired Bo Pelini a few years ago just to hire Craig Bohl BUT then what the Hell do we know compared to that Real Man of Genius now running Nebraska Athletics Shawn Eichorst who will be run out of Lincoln on a rail with his coaching hire Mike Riley if Riley doesn’t exceed Pelini’s winning ways in Lincoln…right? RIGHT!
Whatever is going on in Lincoln Craig Bohl in his second season at Wyoming is sitting on records of…
Overall: 4 – 11
MWC: 2 – 6
….and has started the 2015 season off at 0 – 3 which has put Bohl into a Helluva spot that he will only get out of by doing one thing…
Winning Football Games!
Here is what Wyoming has left to play this season…
At New Mexico At Appalachian State At Air Force Nevada At Boise State At Utah State Colorado State At San Diego State UNLV
…and if you can find 6 wins for Wyoming out of their remaining 9 games then you are either an Idiot or doing some serious Damn drugs!
Will Craig Bohl’s once promising coaching career end in the wide-open plains of Wyoming after pulling one of the strangest coaching career moves in history that rivals Paul Dietzel’s decision in 1961 to leave LSU for the Army job which also ended up as a Complete Freaking Disaster?
Maybe so.
24. Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson and Tulane got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over FCS Maine and now it’ss back to Not Really Big Boy Football after a bye week when Tulane hosts UCF which will probably be 0 – 4 once they get to New Orleans and in a Complete and Total Death Spiral under George O’Leary who it seems wants to be an AD more than he wants to be a Head Coach with his UCF football team reflecting that reality!
Very simply Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 and when we write Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 we mean Curtis Johnson needs…
6 Wins in the Regular Season
….to get Tulane back to a bowl game and somewhat back in the conversation as a legitimate football program and if Tulane doesn’t get 6 wins in 2015 then a pretty decent job for an up-and-coming young football coach who loves eating good food will probably open up in the Great City of New Orleans come December.
Get some wins Curtis Johnson starting with a win over Hapless UCF on October 3 but until then enjoy New Orleans!
25. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – After starting 2 – 0 with wins over Georgia Southern and Liberty West Virginia had a bye week and now the football season actually begins with a MUST WIN Game against Maryland at home that Dana Holgorsen and the Mountaineers MUST WIN because they have a trip to Oklahoma on deck and being at 2 – 2 after four games would do nothing but turn the heat up on Holgorsen’s ass and make things very uncomfortable for Dana when Oklahoma State shows up in Morgantown on October 10.
BEAT Maryland and get off the Hot Seat for now Dana Holgorsen.
LOSE to Maryland and the Hot Seat just gets HOTTER Dana Holgorsen!
26. Paul Haynes, Kent State – Here’s the problem for Kent State head coach Paul Haynes:
Paul Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won 11 games in 2012 under Darrell Hazell and here are Kent State’s records the last two-plus seasons…
2013: 4 – 8 2014: 2 – 9 2015: 1 – 2
…and that is either a trend that Paul Haynes will reverse and quick in 2015 or Kent State will be looking for a new head football coach come December.
Now at 1 – 2 on the season after a nice game but yet another loss against Minnesota with the lone win coming over Delaware State…CUPCAKE….this season Kent State has left to play in 2015….
Marshall At Miami, Ohio At Toledo At UMass Bowling Green Buffalo At Ohio Central Michigan At Akron
…and we would recommend the Golden Flashes find 5 more wins out their last 9 games for their head football coach….just a friendly recommendation from the folks at Coaches Hot Seat!
27. Bob Davie, New Mexico – When Bob Davie was working as an analyst for ESPN he always said that he would run the type of offense he is now running at New Mexico which to us is a slight variation of the run option offense that both Davie and Lou Holtz ran at Notre Dame which to us is ugly as Hell but then we tend to favor the West Coast offense as created by the Late Great Bill Walsh which had a huge running component but hands down was and is the most beautiful football offense in the world when called, run and executed correctly.
Whatever type of offense Bob Davie is running at New Mexico the FACTS are Davie’s records in four seasons at the school now stand at…
“Either Bob Davie takes New Mexico to a bowl game this season or it’s over for Bob.”
That was pretty matter of fact and with the Lobos now at 1 – 2 on the season and these games remaining to be played….
At Wyoming New Mexico State At Nevada Hawaii At San Jose State Utah State At Boise State Colorado State Air Force
…if Davie can squeeze out 5 wins out of New Mexico’s last 9 games and get his team to a bowl game for the first time in his four years at UNM then he should get a few more seasons to get things right with the Lobos BUT Bob…that Damn offense son…it just looks like Hell!
28. Bobby Petrino, Louisville – The “What Ifs” on Bobby Petrino’s coaching career are a mile long BUT the one decision that stands out to us was Petrino’s decision to interview for the Auburn head coaching job after only being gone from Auburn for one season where he worked as the offensive coordinator for Tommy Tuberville the very coach that a few Auburn trustees and athletic director were working to run out of town only to be replaced by an assistant in Petrino that had just left the school. Since it was Tommy Tuberville that brought Bobby Petrino to Auburn from the NFL which was a move that in FACT led to Petrino getting the Louisville head coaching job if it had been any of us sitting in Petrino’s shoes and someone from Auburn called us about the Auburn head coaching job before Tommy Tuberville had even been fired the very first thing we would have done is call Tuberville….the man that helped Petrino out….and tell Tubbs that he was being undermined by a few Bastards at Auburn.
Instead Bobby Petrino took that call and met secretly with those Auburn Bastards which of course was leaked out to radio show host Paul Finebaum from the pilot or pilots of the plane that took those Auburn Bastards to Louisville for that secret meeting with Petrino and as they say the rest is history with that history being…
Tommy Tuberville keeping his job at Auburn
Bobby Petrino bolting for the Atlanta Falcons after telling everyone that would listen he would not be leaving Louisville
Bobby Petrino leaving the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas job before his first season was even completed
Bobby Petrino having his dalliance and motorcycle crash at Arkansas and then lying about it and getting his ass rightly fired in Fayetteville
Bobby Petrino getting the Western Kentucky job which he held for one season
Bobby Petrino getting re-hired at Louisville 8 years after he told anyone that would listen he would never be leaving Louisville
Hell, you truly could not make the above up but then the ONLY reason Bobby Petrino was re-hired at Louisville is because he wins football games…at least on the college level…but now the Cardinals are off to an 0 – 3 start after losses to Auburn, Houston and Clemson and they have these games still left to be played:
Samford At NC State At Florida State Boston College At Wake Forest Syracuse Virginia At Pitt At Kentucky
Can Bobby Petrino and Louisville find at least 6 wins out of their remaining 9 games and avoid a losing season in 2015 which Petrino has only posted one time before on the college level?
That is a hard question to answer but we can easily recall how much Bobby Petrino loved rubbing it in the faces of Kentucky football fans how much better the Louisville football program was than Kentucky during Petrino’s first Louisville stint and here’s to hoping Louisville is 5 – 6 when they play Kentucky in Lexington on November 28 and the Kentucky Wildcats…
BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BOBBY PETRINO AND THE LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!
….and Petrino getting a taste of his own Bullshit not that Bobby Petrino would give two rips because something like this would happen —>
Petrino’s agent is on the phone and there is an AD somewhere in America willing to sell out his soul to win a few football games and he is interested in talking to Bobby Petrino!
Our guess….Bobby Petrino would sell-out Louisville again telling anyone that would listen he would never be leaving the school moments before he walked out the door!
No…we don’t HATE Bobby Petrino like we HATED or rather HATE Charlie Weis but for Damn sure Bobby Petrino has a lot of Bullshit to atone for and here’s to hoping that a Helluva lot of that atoning happens to Bobby Petrino in 2015 and if it does we will take Great Joy in lighting up Petrino’s Sorry Ass!
29. Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – Over the years a number of Coaches Hot Seat members have gotten to Boca Raton, Florida for business or vacation and we have met a number of the folks that support FAU athletics which in reality didn’t really exist when we first started going to Boca Raton years ago and it was the opinion of many here at Coaches Hot Seat which we expressed to our Boca Raton friends that Mike Leach who is now at Washington State but then was living Key West would have been an ideal head football coach at FAU. Mike Leach of course took the Washington State job which although a nice head coaching job doesn’t really fit “The Pirate” very well and our thinking was that Mike Leach would do well at FAU and then take one of the bigger jobs in the state of Florida like Miami, USF or UCF after few years at FAU but alas Leach went to the Northwest and FAU hired Charlie Partridge who although a nice guy and good football coach hasn’t done a Helluva lot in Boca Raton while posting records of…
Overall: 3 – 12
CUSA: 2 – 6
….in two years on the job at FAU.
Now with an 0 – 3 start to the 2015 season with losses to Tulsa, Miami and Buffalo (who has a first year head coach) FAU and Partridge face the daunting task of finding 6 wins in their last 9 games to get bowl eligible with this remaining schedule:
At Charlotte Rice Marshall At UTEP FIU At Western Kentucky Middle Tennessee At Florida At Old Dominion
Sorry…we just don’t see FAU winning 6 games in 2015 but then Charlie Partridge could prove us wrong now couldn’t he?
Coach ‘Em Up Charlie and if you don’t…..You Got It….Hot Seat!
30. Jeff Monken, Army – We don’t not like putting the head coaches of the US Military service academies on the Hot Seat but Jeff Monken in his second year at Army after a nice four-year run as the head coach at Georgia Southern has forced our hand by starting the 2015 season out at 0 – 3 in three closes losses to three pretty decent football teams but losses nonetheless.
Yes…playing winning football is not easy at a place like West Point but we are expecting a lot out of Jeff Monken at Army and now at 0 – 3 on the season with these games remaining to be played….
At Eastern Michigan At Penn State Duke Bucknell At Rice At Air Force Tulane Rutgers Navy
….it’s not going to be easy getting to 6 wins for Army this season but then it wasn’t easy on the US Army at the Battle of the Bulge either was it?
21. David Shaw, Stanford – As a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members sat in Stanford Stadium on Saturday night watching Stanford whip Hapless and it seemed almost Coachless UCF an interesting observation was made by one CHS member:
“Is it just me or do the Stanford football players seem to going back to the size physically they were (which was puny) when Walt Harris was run off The Farm and replaced with Jim Harbaugh in 2007?”
This idea that the Stanford football players are getting increasingly smaller under head coach David Shaw compared to the size they were under Jim Harbaugh and in the first couple of years of the Shaw reign has been a topic of hushed discussion for over a year now among a small group of Coaches Hot Seat members which blew-up into a wide ranging discussion on Saturday night with lots of comments thrown in from the peanut gallery like…..
“How small the Stanford football players seemed at fan day in August. Hell, my boy in the ninth grade was bigger than half the Stanford team!”
“How it seems the Stanford football players are losing rather than gaining weight year-over year under David Shaw.”
“Doesn’t it seem like the Stanford football players are less cut, less in shape looking and overall not in the condition they were in during the Jim Harbaugh years?”
What was the final conclusion to this discussion you ask among the participating Coaches Hot Seat members which included a couple of CHS Members chiming-in from their hotel room in Knoxville, Tennessee?
Stanford football IS GETTING SMALLER and LESS PHYSICAL overall under David Shaw and all it takes for one to understand this FACT is for anyone to watch a tape of the Northwestern game from this season to see a smaller team in Northwestern push Stanford around all over the field on the way to a 16 – 6 win over the Cardinal.
Of course, the proof is ALWAYS in the pudding as someone once said and this week Stanford plays at USC which has ALWAYS had larger and stronger players across the board than Stanford but for a few seasons during the Jim Harbaugh years there was a time when USC was flat-out…
Intimidated by Stanford Football
….which culminated in 2009 Stanford – USC game at the LA Coliseum when the Cardinal led Jim Harbaugh team CRUSHED the Trojans by the score of…
55 – 21!
Unfortunately USC has won the last two games in the Stanford – USC series and it will be fascinating to see what the Trojans are able to do with Stanford at the LA Coliseum on Saturday in Steve Sarkisian’s second year as the head coach at USC after narrowly beating the Cardinal 13 – 10 last season on The Farm.
Will Stanford get pushed around by a team in USC that has five to six times as much talent as Northwestern which thoroughly dominated Stanford in the first game of the season or is there something…..anything….that David Shaw can do to get the Cardinal offense on track before the Pac-12 schedule really cranks up with several teams on the schedule that can easily score 30 or more points a game which would leave the pitiful Stanford offense in the dust?
We shall all see on Saturday night with a decent amount of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Los Angeles for the Stanford – USC game at one of our favorite venues to watch football games the LA Coliseum which a few Coaches Hot Seat members have been watching football games at for almost 40 years now. Needless to say with the remaining games on Stanford’s schedule as listed below…
At USC At Oregon State Arizona UCLA Washington At Washington State At Colorado Oregon California Notre Dame
….there is a REAL chance that Stanford does NOT win 6 games in 2015 if they play like they did against Northwestern and of course if Stanford doesn’t win 6 games in 2015 Stanford WILL be looking for a new head football coach come December for Damn sure!
22. Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson is now in his fourth season coaching the Tulane Green Wave and has posted win/loss records of…
Overall: 12 – 27
CUSA: 9 – 15
….with ONE winning season and bowl game in the books in his first three seasons.
Is Tulane the kind of place that should expect to be playing .500 or better football on a regular basis?
We sure the Hell don’t know why not and after Tulane started the 2015 season with losses to Duke and Georgia Tech the Green Wave has these games left on the schedule:
Maine UCF At Temple Houston At Navy At Memphis UConn At Army At SMU Tulsa
Hmmm…..with the above games remaining is there anyone that believes Tulane will win at least 6 games in 2015?
Didn’t think so which takes us to…
Coach up your team Curtis Johnson or the Hot Seat will just get HOTTER!
23. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – What a PERFECT opportunity Saturday is for…
Pretty Boy Kingsbury
….to both get Coaches Hot Seat off his back, have us drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER, and get a win for Texas Tech football when the Red Raiders travel to Fayetteville on Saturday to play an Arkansas team that is coming off a loss to Toledo and is according to our buddies in Ft. Smith, Arkansas…
In Total and Complete Disarray Right Now
….with people in Fayetteville pointing fingers at who was responsible for the Toledo loss and therein lies the…
PERFECT opportunity for Pretty Boy Kingsbury and his Red Raiders!
Can Texas Tech really go into Fayetteville and beat an Arkansas team coached by someone (Bret “Ohio State LOVES THEIR CUPCAKES” Bielema) who it seems is more interested in who Ohio State is playing each week (Northern Illinois) than in getting his team ready to play football games?
YES is that answer to that question and a loss in this spot for Bret Bielema to Texas Tech would not only get Pretty Boy Kingsbury OFF the Hot Seat it would send Bret “Anyone seen Urban Meyer eating CUPCAKES today” Bielema into a close orbit around the Sun for the foreseeable future with the SEC Conference schedule still ahead!
Memo to Pretty Boy Kingsbury: If you score 35 points in this game you will beat Arkansas and YES if you beat Arkansas on Saturday we will drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat
Good Luck Pretty Boy!
24. Les Miles, LSU – With wins over Mississippi State AND Auburn Les Miles has an opportunity to go from the frying pan to the catbird seat if LSU can get a win over a Totally Hapless Auburn team in Baton Rouge on Saturday and consider this for a moment that IF LSU can beat Auburn the Tigers will then have the below games left on their schedule before they play at Alabama on November 7:
At Syracuse Eastern Michigan At South Carolina Florida Western Kentucky
Hell, if LSU can beat Mississippi State and Auburn we see no reason why LSU can’t roll through their next FIVE games and show up in Tuscaloosa on November 7 at….
7 – 0
….to play the Crimson Tide BUT hold it just a second…after Alabama the Tigers still have to play…
Arkansas At Ole Miss Texas A&M
….so even if LSU was 7 – 0 on November 7 Les Miles could still lose his last 4 games and end the 2015 season at…
7 – 4
….and rightfully get his ass run out of Baton Rouge come December!
Up first though before Les Miles possibly gets his ass run out of Baton Rouge in December is the Auburn Tigers in Tiger Stadium and don’t tell anyone Les because what we are about to tell you is just between you Les and us here at Coaches Hot Seat:
Coaches Hot Seat whispering through the computer to Les Miles: “Our contact at Auburn tells us the Auburn coaching staff is in full-on panic mode right now because they know and Gus Malzahn knows that if Auburn loses to LSU on Saturday and Malzahn drops to 10 – 7 in his last 17 games that Malzahn’s ass will be on fire and on the Hot Seat!”
Good Luck Mad Hatter and OH…if you lose to Auburn at home in Tiger Stadium when Auburn is in “full-on panic mode” your precious ass will be climbing back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!
25. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over Liberty University which is where that Total Nutcake Bernie Sanders was speaking on Monday but we will say about Bernie Sanders that even though he is a Total Nutcake at least he is a Total Nutcake with personal principles that he sticks to whether you disagree with him or not!
Getting back to Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia Crazy Boy Holgorsen has a chance to get his ass off the Hot Seat next week with a win against Maryland at home on September 26 which would be nice since WVU travels to play at Oklahoma in their fourth game of the season after the Terps come to Morgantown.
For now though with West Virginia having an off-week Crazy Boy Dana Holgorsen remains on the Hot Seat right where Crazy Boy belongs!
26. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa got a nice win at Iowa State on Saturday but then…
Iowa State has LOST 21 of their last 26 games
…so beating Iowa State is akin to beating a Ladies Senior Citizen Bridge Club’s auxiliary football team that meets on every Tuesday night in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa so we hope that fans of Iowa football aren’t getting too confident after a win over the Cyclones especially with Pitt coming to town on Saturday.
We will tell everyone why a loss to Pitt on Saturday would be especially devastating to Kirk Ferentz and Iowa:
Pat Narduzzi is in his first year as a head coach at Pitt or as a head coach anywhere and if Pat Narduzzi can in his third game as a head coach roll into Iowa and beat the Hawkeyes on the road where exactly does that leave Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz?
Right in the septic tank on the farm is where that leaves Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz!
27. Mike Riley, Nebraska – Several Coaches Hot Seat members have been traveling to the Great State of Nebraska for over two decades on business and thus we have had a long love affair going with Nebraska and the Good People of that state and even when we put Mike Riley on the Hot Seat we have done so reluctantly since Mike Riley is a lot like the Good People of Nebraska in that Riley is almost…
Impossible NOT to like
….but this is Coaches Hot Seat and when you are the head coach at Nebraska you have to win “X” number of games to stay OFF the Hot Seat and thus why this Saturday’s game at Miami is so Damn important for Mike Riley and Nebraska football as they head towards Big Ten Conference play.
Of course, this Nebraska – Miami game is also very important for Hurricanes head coach Al Golden and thus we have set-up here in South Florida a..
Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up
….with the winning coach getting his ass off the Hot Seat for now and the losing coaching getting the heat turned up on his ass Come Monday….
….and no doubt many times in the future during the rest of this college football season as well.
Good Luck to Mike Riley and Al Golden in this Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaches game!
28. Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – Mike MacIntyre and Colorado got a nice win over UMass at home in Boulder on Saturday and now the Buffs face a CRITICAL game against Colorado State on Saturday which is a match-up that Colorado MUST WIN with the Pac-12 conference schedule looming over their shoulders and with the first Pac-12 game against Oregon in Boulder on October 3.
Can Colorado beat Colorado State on Saturday to get Mike MacIntyre off to a 2 – 1 start with Nicholls State up next which should be 3 – 1 before the Buffs start Pac-12 play against Oregon on October 3?
We don’t see why the Hell not!
29. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora and North Carolina got a win over CUPCAKE North Carolina A&T on Saturday and now getting back to Big Boy College Football UNC will host Illinois on Saturday in Chapel Hill which is being coached by interim head coach Bill Cubit.
Yep…North Carolina CANNOT lose to this Illinois team that was in Complete and Total Disarray just a few weeks ago because a loss in this spot to drop to 1 – 2 with the below schedule still looming…
Delaware At Georgia Tech Wake Forest Virginia At Pitt Duke Miami At Virginia Tech NC State
…would put both Fedora and the Tar Heels in a precarious position as ACC Conference play gets underway on October 3 with a game at Georgia Tech.
Memo to SPF which is short for Six Pack Fedora here at Coaches Hot Seat: DO NOT LOSE TO Illinois! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat
30. Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – Frank Beamer and the Hokies loaded-up on a CUPCAKE this past Saturday with a win over Furman and now it is back to reality for Virginia Tech with a game at Purdue in Week 3 in what is for Damn sure…
A MUST WIN Game for Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech
….because a loss in this spot to a Purdue football team that has won FIVE total football games the past three seasons would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and fully reveal the current….
Hapless State of Virginia Tech Football
….which in what may be Frank Beamer’s last season in Blacksburg is certainly something that Coach Beamer does not want to be fully revealed for all the world to see.
With a game at East Carolina in Week 4 a loss to Purdue might just lead to the Hokies starting the 2015 season at…
1 – 3
….and fighting for their lives just to get to a pitiful bowl game and is a mediocre season and pitiful bowl game really how Frank Beamer wants to go out at Virginia Tech after a legendary coaching career?
NO is the answer to that question and thus YES Virginia Tech had better Damn beat Purdue!
21. Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – The Hokies played a decent game against Ohio State on Labor Day night but is “decent” what Virginia Tech football is all about now or are Va. Tech fans still serious about winning games and championships in Blacksburg?
Well, let’s go to Frank Beamer’s records over the past four seasons and see what just “decent” looks like at Virginia Tech:
2012 – 2015
Overall: 22 – 18
ACC: 12 – 12
Yep….that is BARELY just “decent” for Virginia Tech football especially when the records that Frank Beamer was putting-up while coaching the Hokies between 2004 and 2011 which makes us naturally wonder…
Just what in the Hell has gone wrong in Blacksburg because these records…
Overall: 22 – 18
ACC: 12 – 12
…just flat-out SUCK!
With the 0 – 1 start let’s go to what remains on Virginia Tech’s schedule to see if this indeed may be Frank Beamer’s last season in Blacksburg because just “decent” cannot continue in Hokieland….right?
Furman At Purdue At East Carolina Pitt NC State At Miami Duke At Boston College At Georgia Tech North Carolina Virginia
Geez…that’s a pretty tough schedule and there is a very REAL chance that Virginia Tech doesn’t win SIX games in 2015 and we cannot imagine that Frank Beamer will be coaching the Hokies in 2016 if they post a losing record this season unless of course Coach Beamer is not willing to go out with a losing record in his slamdunk College Football Hall of Fame coaching career and demands at least one more season.
We shall see….BUT if Virginia Tech loses at Purdue and/or at East Carolina in the coming weeks the 2015 season for the Hokies could get very Damn ugly in a hurry!
22. Bob Stoops, Oklahoma – We had heard that Bob Stoops got a little testy after a lot of questions at his press conference this week about the potential of the large and very loud crowd at Tennessee’s Neyland Stadium having an adverse impact on the Sooners this coming Saturday so we had our former US Navy Intelligence Officer and now Coaches Hot Seat member look at a tape of Stoops’ Monday press conference to get his take on Bob’s level of concern about Neyland Stadium and here is what he came away with:
“Very simply Bob Stoops is worried about the crowd at Neyland Stadium especially how the noise level of the crowd could get Oklahoma off their game early on and lead to mistakes that could lead to Tennessee getting a lead that might be too much for the Sooners to overcome to win the game. Just a guess, but I think Bob Stoops and the OU coaching staff are just hoping to weather the storm in the first quarter and not fall more than 2 scores behind at the most.”
So Bob Stoops is worried about the potential of the Tennessee crowd at Neyland Stadium having an adverse impact upon the Sooners especially early-on in the game against the Vols BUT then what is really at stake in this Oklahoma – Tennessee game for the Sooners?
Since it seems Oklahoma is no longer in the…
Winning A National Championship Business
..under Bob Stoops and things in Norman seem to be about trying to get to 10 wins so a decent bowl game can be delivered to the Sooner faithful so a loss in this spot to Tennessee really is…
No Big Whoop!
….because OU can find 9 more wins on their regular season schedule after the Vols….right?
Tulsa West Virginia Texas – Dallas At Kansas State Texas Tech At Kansas Iowa State At Baylor TCU At Oklahoma State
Maybe…Maybe Not…but Hell Bob Stoops can keep coaching Oklahoma for as long as he wants winning 8 games a year so would it matter if the Sooners won 8 games again in 2015 and then got their asses whipped in a bowl game?
Not Really and thus why Tennessee should beat Oklahoma on Saturday because the TRUTH is…
This game means a Helluva lot more to Butch Jones and the Volunteers than Bob Stoops and the Sooners
….in our humble opinion of course.
As we write the above a few Coaches Hot Seat members remember back to another time when losing a football game was a…
Complete Freaking Disaster
….to Bob Stoops and the Sooners and one game in particular stands out in our minds and that was the Oklahoma at Oregon game at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Oregon on September 16, 2006 which those Coaches Hot Seat members watched from the Oklahoma sideline.
Oh, that was a great football game between the Sooners and Ducks with Oklahoma being royally ripped-off by some Pac-12 refs at the end on a BOGUS call on an onside kick! Enjoy and go to the 2:45 mark in the below video to see the Bullshit against the Sooners begin!
23. Willie Taggart, South Florida – Willie Taggart and his South Florida Bulls got a win over Cupcake Florida A&M in Week 1 BUT now Willie…the REAL work begins! Check-out South Florida’s next four games!
At Florida State At Maryland Memphis Syracuse
Geez…if USF is 2 – 3 after their fifth game they will be lucky and thus that is your charge Willie Taggart….
Be 2 – 3 at least when you take USF to UConn on October 17!
Can South Florida win at least 5 more games in 2015 with the below remaining games still to be played?
At Florida State At Maryland Memphis Syracuse At UConn SMU At Navy At East Carolina Temple Cincinnati At UCF
We don’t see why in the Hell not?
Coach up those Bulls Willie!
24. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia got an impressive win in Week 1 over what should be a pretty good Georgia Southern team by a score of…
44 – 0
…and Liberty is up next so that means the 2015 college football season doesn’t really begin for Holgorsen until WVU plays Maryland on September 26 in Morgantown.
Until then Dana Holgorsen will be cooling his heels on the Hot Seat!
One interesting side-note we ran across the below interesting article in Morgantown Magazine about Dana Holgorsen’s house in Morgantown:
Oh, one particular comment at the bottom of the article on Dana Holgorsen’s house in Morgantown by Sara Perfin caught our attention here at Coaches Hot Seat!
25. Ron Caragher, San Jose State – Ron Caragher and San Jose State got their Cupcake win in Week 1 over New Hampshire but check-out what the Spartans have coming up next!
At Air Force At Oregon State Fresno State At Auburn
WOW!
Got 1 – 4 to start the 2015 season Ron Caragher?
You are about to Ron so you better Damn make hay in 2015 in Mountain West Conference play!
26. Mike Riley, Nebraska – Although we wish Mike Riley nothing but the best at Nebraska we have a sneaking suspicion that Riley’s tenure in Lincoln is going to be….
A Gosh Darn Complete Freaking Disaster
….and we don’t know if Nebraska could have found a worse way to open Mike Riley’s tenure than to lose a game that would have been a win if ONLY…
ONE Nebraska player would have made a Freaking Play on that Hail Brigham Young Pass!
OK….0 – 1 is not too bad and South Alabama is up next which Nebraska SHOULD win easily and then it’s a trip to Miami to play the Hurricanes in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up that will send one coach….
Soaring Off the Hot Seat
AND another coach
Soaring Up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!
Until Saturday September 19 and that Nebraska – Miami game in Miami we will leave Mike Riley alone BUT for Dang sure Mike….
Don’t Lose to South Alabama for the Pillsbury Dough Boy’s Sake!
27. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Notre Dame whipped Texas in Week 1 by a score of 38 – 3 but then whipping Texas these days is like a fat man saying he just destroyed a chocolate cake which means that…
Any Damn Decent Football Team in America Could Whip Texas!
AND
Any Random Fat Man in America Could Destroy A Chocolate Cake!
Now at 1 – 0 Notre Dame travels to play Virginia in Charlottesville and although this looks like a BIG mismatch this is the EXACT kind of game that Brian Kelly has lost in his tenure with the Irish…
Games that Brian Kelly SHOULD win…he often loses….in spectacular fashion!
Come on now…Notre Dame is not going to lose to a Virginia team that under Mike London has put up FOUR losing seasons in the last FIVE years….right?
Well…if Notre Dame did lose to Virginia on Saturday Brian Kelly would wake-up next Monday morning with…
His Ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in America!
28. Paul Haynes, Kent State – Paul Haynes is in his third season now as the head coach at Kent State and has put up records of….
2013: 4 – 8 2014: 2 – 9 2015: 0 – 1
Overall: 6 – 18
MAC: 4 – 11
YES…the above kind of records will land your ass on the Hot Seat and after an opening season loss to Illinois Paul Haynes and his Golden Flashes play Delaware State on Saturday in a MUST WIN game before having to travel to play the future 2015 Big Ten West Division Champion in our opinion……Minnesota.
Now that Paul Haynes is on the Hot Seat for the first time we would like to welcome Paul Hayes to the Hot Seat and here’s to getting your ass off the Hot Seat soon Paul!
29. Norm Chow, Hawaii – How about the Hawaii Warriors opening up the 2015 college football season with a win over Pac-12 member….
Colorado Buffaloes
…..to which we can only say..
Congrats Norm Chow!
Oh….Hawaii plays….
At Ohio State!
…in Week 2!
Damn!
Here’s the good news….after Ohio State the Hawaii Warriors play…
UC Davis!
….and then….
At Wisconsin At Boise State!
Damn Norm Chow! Who is making these schedules for you there in The Islands?
Attila the Hun?
Good Luck against Ohio State Norm Chow!
30. George O’Leary, UCF – When we saw the below story about George O’Leary wanting to step-down as the head football coach at UCF and become the AD at the school at the end of the season…
…some Bastard here at Coaches Hot Seat said to no one in particular:
“Hell, if George O’Leary wants to be the UCF athletic director he needs to step-down right now because if he is thinking about such a move no doubt he is not putting everything into coaching his football team in 2015.”
And then this….
FIU – 15 UCF – 14
Evidently that Bastard Coaches Hot Seat member was right because George O’Leary’s UCF football team just got beat by a team in FIU that very simply…
Had No Damn Business Beating UCF
….which brings us back to this point:
If George O’Leary wants to be the AD at UCF then he should quit coaching the Knights football team right now
…because things don’t get any easier in Week 2…
Hold it a second…UCF plays the Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses next on The Farm and Hell if you just show up and pop the Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses in the mouth they will go home crying to their Momma so maybe George O’Leary can get things back-on-track for UCF in Week 2 with a win over the…
Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses
….and get his ass of the Hot Seat in the process!
This should be great fun on The Farm this Saturday with…
The Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses playing their first home game on The Farm in 2015 after embarrassing Stanford University and themselves at Northwestern in Week 1
AND
George O’Leary making calls from the sideline during the game to someone…who the Hell knows who….to see if he has been named the AD at UCF yet!
What happens exactly when….
Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses meets an opposing team that has a head coach that is working on his next job which in this case is the athletic director position at UCF?
We don’t have a Freaking Clue but we are all about to find out and Hell when you combine Balsa Wood with a head coach looking for another job it promise to be…
