“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”
“Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl.”
“When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea.”
“Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt use it — don’t cheat with it.”
“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.” A Farewell to Arms
“If we win here we will win everywhere. The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it.” For Whom the Bell Tolls
“Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be. But what will happen in all the other days that ever come can depend on what you do today. It’s been that way all this year. It’s been that way so many times. All of war is that way.” For Whom the Bell Tolls
“Man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.” The Old Man and the Sea
“Write me at the Hotel Quintana, Pamplona, Spain. Or don’t you like to write letters. I do because it’s such a swell way to keep from working and yet feel you’ve done something” Letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald, July 1, 1925
“I’ve tried to reduce profanity but I reduced so much profanity when writing the book that I’m afraid not much could come out. Perhaps we will have to consider it simply as a profane book and hope that the next book will be less profane or perhaps more sacred.” About his book, The Sun Also Rises in a letter, August 21, 1926
“Grace under pressure.”
“I’ve been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.” Letter to Marlene Dietrich, July 1, 1930
“All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn… American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since.”
“However you make your living is where your talent lies.”
“Ezra was right half the time, and when he was wrong, he was so wrong you were never in any doubt about it.” On Ezra Pound, as quoted in The New Republic, November 11, 1936
“All my life I’ve looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time.”
“There’s no one thing that’s true. It’s all true.”
“Never confuse movement with action.”
“If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life, it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast.”
“Hesitation increases in relation to risk in equal proportion to age.”
“The individual, the great artist when he comes, uses everything that has been discovered or known about his art up to that point, being able to accept or reject in a time so short it seems that the knowledge was born with him, rather than that he takes instantly what it takes the ordinary man a lifetime to know, and then the great artist goes beyond what has been done or known and makes something of his own.” Death in the Afternoon
“There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and because it takes a man’s life to know them the little new that each man gets from life is very costly and the only heritage he has to leave.” Death in the Afternoon
“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.”
“The first and final thing you have to do in this world is to last it and not be smashed by it.”
“There is nothing else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any tomorrow. How old must you be before you know that? There is only now, and if now is only two days, then two days is your life and everything in it will be in proportion. This is how you live a life in two days. And if you stop complaining and asking for what you never will get, you will have a good life. A good life is not measured by any biblical span.” For Whom the Bell Tolls
….we are like Bill Plaschke more troubled than we were yesterday when writing about Steve Sarkisian’s troubles and we are not even going to publish in this blog what a former US Navy Intelligence Officer and Coaches Hot Seat member said that he got from watching Sarkisian’s press conference meaning watching what Steve said, how Steve said it, along with Sarkisian’s body posture because what that former US Navy Intelligence Officer saw and told us is just too Damn stunning to write in this space without knowing more of just what in the Hell is going on with Steve Sarkisian.
Very simply….we hope Steve Sarkisian is getting the help he needs and that Pat Haden and the folks at USC are doing what is best for Sarkisian AND the USC Football Program going forward and with several Coaches Hot Seat members having met and been around Pat Haden many times over the last couple of decades we can only imagine that Haden is doing just that.
Oh…after watching Steve Sarkisian’s press conference and after some internal discussion on Tuesday here at Coaches Hot Seat we moved Sarkisian further up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings to the No. 5 Hot Seat and if this Bullshit continues at USC he may be in the No. 1 Hot Seat spot before the week is out!
On the topic of the USC football program several Coaches Hot Seat members were talking at Lake Tahoe today about the first USC football games that their Dads took them to in the 1970s when they would often take trips on Fall Saturdays to Los Angeles and the LA Coliseum to see USC play teams beyond Stanford and Cal and one of those trips that three Coaches Hot Seat members made with their Dads that is seared into their memories is the…
1977 Alabama vs. USC game at the LA Coliseum
We have written in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog before about this game and how the three Coaches Hot Seat members snuck down on the field of the LA Coliseum before the game to the side of the field where Alabama was warming up so they could get a look at legendary coach Paul “Bear” Bryant and all three remember getting to within “20 feet or so or as close as we dared to get to the Bear” before the game and that image….which is probably something like this….
….will be with them no doubt for the rest of their lives on this Earth.
Below please enjoy the 4 th quarter of the 1977 Alabama – USC game which was one Helluva football game with the Great Keith Jackson on the call for ABC Sports! Recommendation: Watch the game to the end!
OK…let’s get to the # 21 – 30 Head Coaches on the 2015 Preseason Coaches Hot Seat Rankings which means let’s bring in the Great Johnny Cash again!
21. Willie Taggart, South Florida – It is just our biased opinion but we here at Coaches Hot Seat believe Willie Taggart can be a successful head football coach at the FBS level and in 2015 it’s time for Willie Taggart to prove our faith in him is right.
In two seasons at South Florida Willie Taggart has posted the following records…
Overall: 6 – 18
AAC: 5 – 11
In the offseason we actually went back and watched a few of South Florida’s games from 2014 and there were some encouraging signs for the Bulls in the latter half of last season, but if Taggart is going to get things turned around for USF in the increasingly tough AAC his team will have to make another leap in 2015 which in many ways is already baked in the cake by what the Bulls players and coaching staff have done over the last 6 months.
After tough non-conference games against Florida State and Maryland to start the season Taggart and USF will have to slug it out in the AAC to get to SIX wins which is our target for the Bulls with them more than likely needing to find those SIX wins before playing UCF in the last game of the season in Orlando on November 26!
Come on Willie Taggart….we can pull for you all we want…but if you don’t start winning your rear-end is only going to get hotter!
22. Ron Caragher, San Jose State – Ron Caragher had a decent six year run at San Diego following Jim Harbaugh but his first two years at San Jose State have been average at best and downright awful at worst with that downright awful coming last season with a….
3 – 9
….record that will have to be improved on in 2015 for Caragher to get the heat off his rear-end.
Of course getting things straightened out at San Jose State is not going to be easy with this 2015 schedule…
New Hampshire At Air Force At Oregon State Fresno State At Auburn At UNLV San Diego State New Mexico BYU At Nevada At Hawaii Boise State
….because with three tough non-conference games against Oregon State, Auburn and BYU that is going to leave very little margin for error if Ron Caragher is going to get his rear-end off the Hot Seat which would take…
6 Wins and a Bowl Game!
Coach ‘em up Ron!
23. Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State – Mike Gundy got the Gift of ALL Gifts last season in the Bedlam Game against Oklahoma when Bob Stoops pulled off one of the Stupidest Damn Coaching Moves in College Football History by punting the ball to Oklahoma State twice which basically got Gundy and OSU a win in that game and into a bowl game which led to a bowl win which is just a Damn great lesson for young coaches…
Never Underestimate How Completely Damn Stupid the Opposing Coach Is…Meaning Bob Stoops in Last Year’s Bedlam Game!
Can Mike Gundy get things rolling again after posting that 7 – 6 record in 2015 and get the Cowboys back near the top of the Big 12 Conference?
In our opinion NO and we say NO because of what a former US Navy Intelligence Officer and member of Coaches Hot Seat said last year about Mike Gundy’s appearance, posture and demeanor both during games and press conferences throughout the 2015 football season:
“Mike Gundy has lost it.”
Coaches Hot Seat Member #2: “What?”
CHS Member/Former US Navy Intelligence Officer: “Gundy…he’s lost his fire…his mojo…his competitive spirit…it’s just no longer there and if he doesn’t get it back Oklahoma State football is headed down.”
That was said in the middle of last season and save the Complete Damn Stupidity of Bob Stoops in the Bedlam Game Mike Gundy would have one of the Hottest Seats in the Country right now because if there is something we cannot stand here at Coaches Hot Seat it is…
A Head Football Coach who is making Millions of Dollars a year coaching football who doesn’t have a fire burning within him to win football games and championships!
What then can Oklahoma State do in 2015 if indeed Mike Gundy has lost his fire?
Let’s go to OSU’s 2015 schedule:
At Central Michigan Central Arkansas Texas-San Antonio At Texas Kansas State At West Virginia Kansas At Texas Tech TCU At Iowa State Baylor Oklahoma
In our opinion Oklahoma State has enough talent to win…
9 or 10 Games in 2015
…and in our opinion Mike Gundy and Oklahoma State will win a very AVERAGE…
7 or 8 Games in 2015
Will Mike Gundy get fired come December if he only has 7 wins on the board with OSU in 2015?
Of course not…
This is Oklahoma State we are talking about here….right?
24. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – In 2014 the Texas A&M defense gave up an average of…
…points per game and in 2014 the Texas A&M offense scored an average of…
….points per game and if new A&M DC Chief John Chavis can cut the amount of points the Aggies defense gives up to around…
21 points per game
…or one touchdown less per game then there is no Damn reason why Texas A&M can’t win 10 games in 2015.
No Damn Reason at All Kevin Sumlin!
Can Kevin Sumlin who rode Johnny Manziel to a FAT $5 million per year contract at A&M get things turned around after posting…
4 – 4 and 3 – 5
…SEC Conference records the last two seasons which now has Sumlin with a…
11 – 13
…overall record in SEC play in three seasons in College Station?
Looking at Texas A&M’s 2015 schedule…
Arizona State (Houston) Ball State Nevada Arkansas Mississippi State Alabama At Ole Miss South Carolina Auburn Western Carolina At Vanderbilt At LSU
….we repeat…IF John Chavis can improve the A&M defense only slightly…
There is No Damn Reason why Texas A&M with the above schedule shouldn’t win 10 games in 2015!
There’s your target Kevin Sumlin = 10 Wins
Oh…if you are making $5 Million Dollars a year you better Damn have a target of 10 Wins Plus so…
Coach up the Aggies Kevin Sumlin and if you stumble…
Your Ass will get lit up by Coaches Hot Seat!
25. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – We don’t watch social media obsessively here at Coaches Hot Seat but we cannot recall pictures of Larry Fedora showing off his six-pack abs from the beaches of North Carolina this Summer so that is a good thing because maybe Fedora is focused on winning football game in Chapel Hill now rather than trying to land a male modeling gig in New York City, Milan or Monte Carlo!
Seriously, Larry Fedora has posted some average records in three years at North Carolina…
2012: 8 – 4 2013: 7 – 6 2014: 6 – 7
Overall: 21 – 17
ACC: 13 – 11
…and Fedora with the addition of Gene Chizik as his new DC better Damn get things rolling in year four at UNC or we are going to start thinking that Fedora is just another Pretty Boy and does Larry Fedora really want the moniker…
PBL = Pretty Boy Larry?
We don’t think so which is why Larry Fedora better Damn start coaching up his Tar Heels in 2015 and we are looking for…
8 Wins Plus this season Larry!
26. Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – Please…so Steve Spurrier was telling anyone that would listen this past offseason that..
“At South Carolina 7 – 6 is a good season!”
Please Steve…two Coaches Hot Seat Members met you for the first time 25 years ago this August in August 1990 on a practice football field at the University of Florida when a former classmate of yours in the 1960s at UF introduced us to you in between practices and we know and you know Damn well Steve that…
7 – 6
…is NOT a good season at South Carolina or Any Other Damn Place on Planet Earth where they play football as long as….
Stephen Orr Spurrier
…is coaching that football team!
You may be able to sell that 7 – 6 is a good season Bullshit to members of the media but to us it’s just that…
…and either Spurrier will get things turned around at South Carolina in 2015 or this very well could be the last season of Steve Spurrier on the sidelines as a head football coach and if that’s the case…
It’s has been a Helluva run Head Ball Coach!
How many games can Steve Spurrier and South Carolina win in 2015?
North Carolina Kentucky At Georgia UCF At Missouri LSU Vanderbilt At Texas A&M At Tennessee Florida The Citadel Clemson
Let’s see here…an average head coach at South Carolina in 2015 could win around…
6 or 7 games
Let’s see here…Stephen Orr Spurrier coaching South Carolina in 2015 should win with even the very TOUGH schedule above…
9 Games Minimum!
There’s your target for a good season in 2015 at South Carolina Steve…
9 Games Minimum!
Now quit talking about your age and start coaching up your football team….Oh…we’re going to let you in on something Steve…we won’t tell anyone else so this is just between you and us here at Coaches Hot Seat….OK?
(Whispering) to Steve Spurrier: Some of the other teams know your offensive signals and to make matters worse you have gotten lazy with your formation and play-calling and now even our high school age sons can call what play you are going to run when they see what formation you are in and when they know the down and distance. Go back and watch some of your games at Florida in early 1990s before you got lazy there….or even some Duke games…because when you get lazy with your play-calling and predictable with your formations Steve….you tend to lose a lot of football games especially when your defense is giving up…
30.4 points per game
….as the South Carolina defense did in 2015!
That’s why you went 7 – 6 in 2015 Steve…and 7 – 6 at South Carolina or anywhere else you are the head coach is Horseshit and you know it is Horseshit Steve so stop with the Bullshit and coach your Damn football team!
27. Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – No doubt Mike MacIntyre inherited a Helluva mess at Colorado two years ago and has posted records over those two seasons of…
Overall: 6 – 18
Pac-12: 1 – 17
….and either MacIntyre will get things headed upward in Boulder or the folks at CU will have no choice to go and find another head coach that might be able to turn the Buffs around.
Here’s the problem for Mike MacIntyre…the Pac-12 is a Helluva tough league and the Pac-12 South is a Helluva tough division and getting things turned around in Boulder under those conditions is not going to be easy which is why a Herculean effort is needed at CU and that is what we are looking for from Colorado Football in 2015…
A Herculean Effort!
Let’s go to Colorado’s 2015 schedule:
At Hawaii UMass Colorado State (Denver) Nicholls State Oregon At Arizona State Arizona At Oregon State At UCLA Stanford USC At Washington State At Utah
Damn…that is one TOUGH schedule for Colorado in 2015!
Our opinion…if Colorado wins 5 Games in 2015 it will be quite an accomplishment….if Colorado wins 6 Games in 2015 will be…
A Herculean Effort by Mike MacIntyre and his Colorado Buffs!
Coach ‘em up Mike!
28. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – Yes, even with Northwestern football stumbling the last two seasons with 5 – 7 records in each year we still would gladly…
Go To War With Pat Fitzgerald
….and it is time…no it’s past time for Pat Fitzgerald….to get things going in the right direction at Northwestern again and in our opinion…
There Is No Damn Reason Why Northwestern Cannot Win the Big Ten West Division in 2015!
Oh…you think we are crazy….NOT….the Big Ten West Division is there for the taking for Pat Fitzgerald and Northwestern in 2015 even with this schedule…
Stanford Eastern Illinois At Duke Ball State Minnesota At Michigan Iowa At Nebraska Penn State Purdue At Wisconsin Illinois
…and we see No Damn Reason why Northwestern doesn’t win at least 8 Games in 2015 and win the Big Ten West Division!
Coach ‘em Up Pat and you now know the standard we are holding you to this season =
8 Wins Plus and Champions of the Big Ten West Division!
29. Scott Shafer, Syracuse – Scott Shafer has been the head coach at Syracuse for two seasons and has posted records of…
Overall: 10 – 15
ACC: 5 – 11
…and after stumbling – bumbling 3 – 9 record in 2014 we are looking for the Orangemen to get back to 6 wins in 2015 or at the very least have a chance for 6 wins when Syracuse plays Boston College on November 28.
Can Scott Shafer and Syracuse get back to 6 wins plus in 2015?
We don’t see why the Hell not!
30. Mike Leach, Washington State – There is no joy here at Coaches Hot Seat in putting The Pirate Mike Leach on the Hot Seat but we must do what we must do and when you post 3 – 9 record after going to a bowl game the season before at a place like Washington State that very simply equals…
Hot Seat for The Pirate!
Of course in our opinion the very weak 2014 season for Washington State goes back to the debacle of a bowl game loss to Colorado State at the end of the 2013 season which means that when you count the loss to Washington to end the 2013 season that means that Mike Leach and WSU have a record of…
3 – 11
…over their last 14 games!
Let’s look at Washington State’s 2015 schedule to see what The Pirate and Cougs can do this upcoming season:
Portland State At Rutgers Wyoming At California At Oregon Oregon State At Arizona Stanford Arizona State At UCLA Colorado At Washington
In our opinion if The Pirate and Cougs win 6 Games in 2015 that will be quite an accomplishment considering how the tough the Pac-12 Conference is these days so…
Get Off Your Ass Mike Leach and Win Some Damn Football Games in 2015!
11. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Kirk Ferentz has made somewhere around….
$18.5 Million Dollars
…over the last five college football seasons coaching the Iowa Hawkeyes which works out to more than…
$10,000 a day
….and in those last five seasons Kirk Ferentz has put up records of…
Overall: 34 – 30
Big Ten: 19 – 21
…which proves again that PT Barnum was right….
A Sucker is Born every minute
There are a Helluva lot of Suckers in the state of Iowa!
Please…over $18 million dollars and you have a…
Sub .500 record in Big Ten Conference play?
Get down on our knees and say a prayer that the Idiots behind the hiring and continued employment of Kirk Ferentz at Iowa weren’t on Omaha Beach on D-Day because if they had been we would all be speaking German right now because what is going on at Iowa is just flat-out…
Stupidity + Idiocy! = Total Freaking Incompetence!
We could in this spot go through Iowa’s 2015 schedule but does it really matter who Iowa is playing or if they will win even one game in 2015?
NO is the clear answer to that question so get down on your knees and say another prayer but this time give Thanks to God you are not a fan of Iowa football…that is for all of the people that are not fans of Iowa football…as for the fans of Iowa football…
You are so Damn screwed even PT Barnum would have long ago tired of taking your Damn lollipops and money!
Hell…we just looked at Iowa’s 2015 schedule and Bozo the Clown could win 7 Games so what will Kirk Ferentz and the Hawkeyes do this season?
Again…IT DOES NOT MATTER!
12. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – We suppose there are some people that might think that Dana Holgorsen’s win/loss records in four seasons at West Virginia are acceptable…
Overall: 28 – 23
Big East/Big 12: 16 – 18
….but we don’t have a clue who in the Hell those people are and thus why we have Dana Holgorsen’s ass squarely on the Hot Seat!
In particular Holgorsen’s win/loss records the last three seasons since WVU has been a member of the Big 12 Conference…
Overall: 18 – 20
Big 12: 1 1 – 16
….are particularly troubling but then we actually believe West Virginia should be a serious contender in the Big 12 each year and there seems to be a lot of people around West Virginia but especially in the national media that think…
Pretty Damn Mediocre
…is good enough for Mountaineers football…to which we say good for them BUT not us though!
Here’s the real problem for Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia as the 2015 college football season rapidly approaches….
West Virginia’s Schedule!
Georgia Southern Liberty Maryland At Oklahoma Oklahoma State At Baylor At TCU Texas Tech Texas At Kansas Iowa State At Kansas State
Seriously…can Holgorsen and West Virginia win more than 7 games in 2015?
If not that will be FOUR straight seasons for West Virginia with 7 or less wins and can Holgorsen possibly stay employed at a school like WVU that was a national player on the college football scene just a few years ago under Rich Rodriguez?
If West Virginia is willing to accept mediocrity then Dana Holgorsen can certainly stay employed in Morgantown but then one must wonder if current WVU president E. Gordon Gee might have a coach in mind to replace Holgorsen?
Hmmmmm…who could that coach possible be?
13. Steve Sarkisian, USC – Unlike the 147 members of Coaches Hot Seat who will speak their mind on any subject that enters their brains…..
We call it to the Steve Spurrier No Damn Filter Approach to Life
….which we happen to think is a healthy way to go about one’s life we like everyone else reading this blog have friends….well-respected friends…friends that are the pillars of their community…and friends that are the bedrock upon which the American Republic rests….and when those well-respected friends of ours say something that is unusual for them it catches our attention in a Helluva hurry and that is happened recently when the subject of Steve Sarkisian came up with an USC alum friend of ours.
As anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog over the last eight years knows we have great respect for USC football and a few of us have been going to USC football games at the LA Coliseum and in the San Francisco Bay area since the early 1970s when our fathers first started hauling us along on their football adventures. Combine that with several Coaches Hot Seat members living and working in Santa Monica and the Westside of Los Angeles in the past and even today, and we have hundreds of USC alum friends that we party with and hang out with while having a Helluva time at Trojans football games.
One particular USC alum who has three degrees from the school and now has several kids and even grandchildren with multiple degrees from USC was sitting around with several Coaches Hot Seat members back in the Spring and the subject of Steve Sarkisian came up with one CHS Member making the off-hand and we thought casual comment that:
“If the Trojans don’t get in to the College Football Playoff in 2015 they should have a great shot in 2016 with all the talent Sark is piling up at USC.”
USC Alum and Great Friend: “You shouldn’t assume that Steve Sarkisian will be the head coach at USC in 2016.”
To say the above comment was received with stunned silence would be massive understatement and when our USC Alum friend was pressed he would not go into what might cause Steve Sarkisian to lose his job at USC, but he did finally look across the table at each of us with the kind of direct and confident stare you would love to see from your doctor and said:
“I am telling you boys….Sarkisian better get his personal act cleaned-up or he will wake-up one day and find himself out of a job and his ass out on the street.”
The above comment which is of course just an opinion was made in…
We here at Coaches Hot Seat only publish in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog less than 1% of the personal stuff we hear about college head coaches and only do it then when that information is about to be made public in the news media, but we will be honest and say we have been hearing for months that Steve Sarkisian was “a train about to go flying of the tracks” from our USC friends, and thus Sark’s drunken and thus Idiotic appearance at an USC function over the weekend surprised NO ONE here at Coaches Hot Seat.
Memo to Steve Sarkisian: You are Very Damn Close to getting fired son and you better Damn get your act cleaned-up, get the alcohol out of the USC locker room, and start working your ass off in your job as the head football coach of the USC Trojans or you might not even be the head coach at USC when the 2015 football season kicks off! Is that clear Steve? If not, the maybe one or all of the three Coaches Hot Seat members now living in Santa Monica should drive over to USC and light your ass up in person!
GET YOUR DAMN ACT CLEANED UP Steve Sarkisian…PERIOD.
Of course the above is our opinion and what we are about to write below is also our opinion….
In our opinion Pat Haden has a list of five football coaches that could replace Steve Sarkisian at USC and that list has been refined and gone over several times in the last few months and although we wouldn’t list the five football coaches that are on that list in this forum at least three of those current head coaches would walk from their head coaching job for the USC job at this very moment.
There will be one easy way to know if Steve Sarkisian is getting his act cleaned up or not….if Sark keeps going up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings then that means we are hearing the same things from our USC alum friends and that NOTHING has changed.
Is it really possible to screw-up your dream job?
Well…Dumbass Lane Kiffin did it and got his ass run out of USC and another Pete Carroll assistant in Steve Sarkisian may just do the same Damn thing!
Oh, the next head football coach at USC will be one thing for sure…
He will NOT have worked for Pete Carroll at USC.
14. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – No one will ever be able to accuse anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat for playing favorites because there is not a finer man on Earth and Damn good football coach than current Vandy HC Derek Mason BUT it’s time for Derek Mason to finally and to fully become the head football coach of the Vanderbilt Commodores and if he doesn’t his head coaching career will be over before it really even got started.
In his first season at Vanderbilt after taking over a surging Vandy program from now Penn State head coach James Franklin the Commodores under Derek Mason posted records of…
Overall: 3 – 9
SEC: 0 – 8
…and our friends in Nashville tell us if the Vandy goes winless in the SEC again in 2016 Vandy will be looking for a new head football coach come December.
Vanderbilt’s 2015 Football Schedule
West Kentucky Georgia Austin Peay At Ole Miss At Middle Tennessee At South Carolina Missouri At Houston At Florida Kentucky Texas A&M At Tennessee
Damn..that is one tough schedule Vandy has in 2015 BUT Vandy has some talent on their team and there is No Damn Reason why the Commodores shouldn’t win…
4 Games Overall
1 SEC Conference Game At Least
Coach ‘em up Derek Mason!
15. Les Miles, LSU – Below are the shocking numbers since Alabama beat LSU in the 2011 – 12 Bogus BCS Title Game in New Orleans which was one the most boring football games played in the history of American football and those shocking numbers are….
Les Miles’ and LSU’s SEC Conference Records Last Three Seasons
2012: 6 – 2 2013: 5 – 3 2014: 4 – 4
Overall: 15 – 9
Sorry with the amount of talent that has been on the LSU football team the last three seasons a 15 – 9 SEC Conference record is just…
Not Freaking Acceptable
…and thus why Les Miles now finds his ass on the Hot Seat and might even find his ass run out of Baton Rouge come December $15 Million Dollar Plus buyout or not!
A running conversation piece this Summer at Coaches Hot Seat has been…
How many wins does Les Miles need in 2015 to be safe when December rolls around?
…and when one looks at LSU’s 2015 schedule….
McNeese State At Mississippi State Auburn At Syracuse Eastern Michigan At South Carolina Florida Western Kentucky At Alabama Arkansas At Ole Miss Texas A&M
…LSU will only play FIVE teams in 2015 that have Equal of Better Talent that the Tigers…
Mississippi State, Auburn, Alabama, Ole Miss, Texas A&M
….and thus Bozo the Clown could post 7 wins coaching the LSU Tigers in 2015 which means for Damn sure that Les Miles should be able to put…
9 Wins Plus On the Board!
Less than 9 Wins in 2015 and Les Miles is DONE at LSU….PERIOD.
Hell, the LSU and USC head coaching jobs could open up come December?
16. Tim Beckman, Illinois – We here at Coaches Hot Seat are not quite sure what Tim Beckman has going at Illinois with a few of his players….maybe less than that….complaining about the way that Beckman treated them BUT plenty of us played for football coaches in the past that believed berating and/or embarrassing a football player needlessly was the way to build a winning football team…
It’s Not for any Idiot that believes such Complete Nonsense
….but whatever is going on with Tim Beckman and Illini football ONE thing is crystal clear:
Tim Beckman needs a STRONG 2015 season to return to coach the Illini in 2016
What would be a STRONG 2015 for Tim Beckman and Illinois in 2015?
Our guess….7 Plus Wins and no more off-field issues…anything less and the Illini job will also open up come December.
17. Paul Petrino, Idaho – Like Tim Beckman we are not sure what Paul Petrino has going on at Idaho with his recent run in with a member of the news media but clearly the pressure of being a head football coach is getting to Paul Petrino…as it gets to ALL head football coaches that care about winning which is most of them….and either Paul Petrino will learn how to manage his temper and coach up/motivate his Idaho football team or Paul Petrino will be back on his brother Bobby’s coaching staff soon!
In two seasons Paul Petrino has put an overall record of..
2 – 21
…and we would guess and it is just a guess that either Petrino will find 3 plus wins in 2015 with the below schedule or Idaho will also be looking for a new head coach come December.
Idaho 2015 Football Schedule
Ohio At USC Wofford Georgia Southern At Arkansas State At Troy La. Monroe At New Mexico State Appalachian State At Auburn Texas State
Can Paul Petrino and Idaho win 3 plus games in 2015 with the above schedule?
We don’t see why the Hell not since this is Paul Petrino’s THIRD year on the job with the Vandals!
18. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – As one of favorite TV characters here at Coaches Hot Seat always used to say when he wanted the Facts and only the Facts….
….”Just the Facts Ma’am” we are going to the FACTS about Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly which are Kelly’s win/loss records at the school:
Sorry…save the one season in 2012 when Notre Dame stumbled to a 12 – 0 record and then got its manhood taken away out behind the barn in South Florida by Alabama in the Bogus BCS Title Game Brian Kelly has been one thing and one thing only as the head coach of the Irish:
Even more troubling to us here at Coaches Hot Seat are columns like the one below from Yahoo Sports Pat Forde which seems to insinuate that Notre Dame is just too Damn tough of a school academically for a head coach to have the Irish at the top of college football anymore…
…..to which we can only respond to with a one word response —>
If you can win at Stanford you can Damn win anywhere even Notre Dame and it’s time for either Brian Kelly to get Notre Dame back into the National Title hunt every season or for Brian Kelly to take his yelling and demeaning the Notre Dame quarterback after the end of every Damn series back to a lower-level of football where a lower-level and excuse-making head coach can win more games!
Let’s look at Notre Dame’s 2015 schedule…
Texas At Virginia Georgia Tech UMass At Clemson Navy USC At Temple At Pitt Wake Forest Boston College At Stanford
…and we will be Damned if we see Notre Dame winning more than…
8 Games in 2015
…and we have some news for Brian Kelly:
If you only win 8 games again in 2015 your coaching career at Notre Dame will be OVER come December with an overall .688 winning percentage coaching the Irish which very simply…
Is just NOT good enough at Notre Dame!
19. Bob Stoops, Oklahoma – Bob Stoops can keep telling anyone that will listen that Oklahoma has “won a lot of games” since Stoops has been at OU but here is something we here at Coaches Hot Seat know for Damn sure Bob:
When the 2015 college football season opens Oklahoma will have MORE TALENT than any other team in the Big 12 Conference…..PERIOD.
Will the team with the MOST TALENT in the Big 12 Conference be the Champion of the Big 12 come December?
More than likely not because of one simple reason:
The fire that used to drive Bob Stoops to coach and win football games is no longer lit and the slowing fading flame of a head coach that enters his 17 th season as the head coach of the Sooners who is already a future…
Slam Dunk Future Member of the College Football Hall of Fame
…..will either be re-lit by Bob Stoops looking in the mirror and deciding that winning games and championships is worth making a Helluva effort for again OR this will be Bob Stoops last season in Norman which no doubt would shortly be followed by Bob going into some kind of sport media career ala Mack Brown who seems to be having a Helluva time no longer coaching the Texas Longhorns!
How will Oklahoma fare in 2015 with the below schedule?
Akron At Tennessee Tulsa West Virginia Texas At Kansas State Texas Tech At Kansas Iowa State At Baylor TCU At Oklahoma State
Bob Stoops and Oklahoma SHOULD win at least 9 Games in 2015 but how many will OU actually win?
Our guess = 8 Wins and this will be Bob Stoops last season as the head coach of the Oklahoma Sooners because why in the Hell would Bob Stoops keep coaching when his heart is not in it which is just our opinion Bob.
Hell…is it possible that the Miami, LSU, Notre Dame and Oklahoma jobs could all come open in December 2015?
If those jobs did come open that would be some Damn fascinating coaching searches for sure!
20. Norm Chow, Hawaii – No one more than us here at Coaches Hot Seat wants to see Norm Chow succeed at Hawaii BUT in three seasons on the job Norm has put up win/loss records of…
Overall: 8 – 29
MWC: 4 – 20
…and that is just not good enough….even for Hawaii!
Come on Norm Chow…coach up those Hawaii Warriors!
“E ho`omaika`i” Norm Chow which means “Do Well” in The Islands!
Coming Next….Analysis Of….
#21 – 30 Hot Seat Head Coaches on Tuesday – August 25
Echoing the Inauguration Speech of John F. Kennedy for the Presidency on January 21, 1960…
“We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans–born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage–and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.”
….the Burning on Fire Hot Seat was passed along this past week at Lake Tahoe to a new generation of Sorry Bastards that are…
Ready, Willing and Able to Light up the Asses of College and NFL Head Coaches
….and who are fired-up that they now have the controls of Coaches Hot Seat!
There is a lot that could be written in this spot about how much fun the original seven Coaches Hot Seat members have had over the past EIGHT football seasons…
Lighting up the Asses of College and NFL Head Coaches
….but let’s not linger on the past but instead focus on the future and with that in mind indeed the…
A chair on fire… metaphor “In The Hot Seat”
…has been passed and…
May God Almighty Help the College and NFL Head Coaches that find themselves on the Hot Seat in the coming years…because these guys now running Coaches Hot Seat…
Don’t play around and for some reason don’t like it at all when people that coach football for a living making millions of dollars in the process cry like babies when someone critiques their performance
….and as the original seven Coaches Hot Seat members fade into the background as now merely voting members of our little club we again say…
May God Almighty Help the College and NFL Head Coaches that find themselves on the Hot Seat!
Godspeed and Good Luck to you Head Coaches and we really mean that!
Welcome to the NEW Coaches Hot Seat for the 2015 College and NFL Football seasons which will be the NINTH football season that Coaches Hot Seat has covered and the new leadership of Coaches Hot Seat is honored to be taking over things here and lighting up the asses of head football coaches that deserve it!
There will be only a few noticeable changes in Coaches Hot Seat in the coming days, weeks and months and just like in the past EIGHT seasons in August of each year Coaches Hot Seat members vote on and then produce the….
Top 10 Head Coaches on the 2015 Preseason Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
#11 – 20 Hot Seat Head Coaches on Monday – August 24
#21 – 30 Hot Seat Head Coaches on Tuesday – August 25
1. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Paul Rhoads is entering his seventh season as the head coach of the Iowa State Cyclones and has posted records of…
Overall: 29 – 46
Big 12: 14 – 38
But the real story is the past two seasons when the Cyclones under Rhoads have put up records of….
Overall: 5 – 19
Big 12: 2 – 16
Sorry Paul….that’s just not good enough…even at Iowa State. You are making almost $2 million dollars a year Paul and if you can’t get some more wins on the board in 2015 then why in the Hell would Iowa State keep paying you almost $2 million dollars a year but then we wonder why Iowa pays Kirk Ferentz $4 million dollars a year when a chimpanzee could post the kind of records that Ferentz has posted coaching the Hawkeyes in recent years.
Get off your ass Paul Rhoads which means get your team..the Iowa State Cyclones…off its ass!
Here’s the scary thing for Paul Rhoads and Iowa State…they open the season against…
Northern Iowa Iowa At Toledo
Hell, Iowa State could start the season 0 – 3 and would have lost to two teams Iowa State should always beat and a team in Iowa that we would not even call mediocre in recent years because that would be an insult to all the mediocre folks in the world!
Do you think there are a few very successful FCS-level head football coaches that would love to have the Iowa State job?
You bet your ass there are several that would walk from where they are now coaching for the Iowa State head coaching job!
2. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Below are the win/loss records that the last Purdue head coach….Danny Hope…who was fired from his job…..put up before Darrell Hazell took over the Boilermakers in 2013:
Below are the win/loss records that Darrell Hazell has put up at Purdue:
2013: 1 – 11 2014: 3 – 9
Memo to the fans and folks at Purdue: If your football team is going to a bowl game think twice before you fire the head coach and some may recall that Coaches Hot Seat didn’t even have Danny Hope on the Hot Seat late in the 2012 college football season when Hope was sent packing which has us thinking that if Hazell cannot get things turned around then an important question is who will be hiring the next head football coach of the Boilermakers?
Here is how Purdue opens the 2015 college football season:
At Marshall Indiana State Virginia Tech Bowling Green At Michigan State Minnesota At Wisconsin
Got 1 – 6 after the first seven games for Purdue football?
We do which means Darrell Hazell and his Purdue football players had better Damn done something incredible in the offseason and Fall camp or the 2015 season could become a Complete Freaking Disaster in a Helluva hurry!
3. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – We have seen a slight and we mean a slight improvement in the Indiana Hoosiers in Kevin Wilson’s four seasons as the head coach at IU and 2015 we will be looking for a larger jump from Wilson’s team because these records…
Overall: 14 – 34
Big Ten: 6 – 26
….is just flat-out…
Not Good Enough Kevin Wilson…even at Indiana!
Here’s the good news for Kevin Wilson and Indiana…with these games to open the season…
Southern Illinois FIU Western Kentucky At Wake Forest
…the Hoosiers should be no worse than 3 – 1 when Ohio State rolls into Bloomington on October 3.
Coach ‘em up Kevin Wilson because there is only one way to get off the Hot Seat….
6 – 6 record and trip to a bowl game!
4. Al Golden, Miami – No doubt Al Golden had the same kind of hyena laugh that we did last week when no doubt some Swiss Rolls Loving First-Rate Ass Kisser floated Lane Kiffin’s name out there as a possible replacement at Miami if Al Golden’s ass gets run out of town because there is not someone…
Stupid Enough to Hire Lane Kiffin in Miami…..Right?
Hell…who knows…there was a stupid owner in Oakland and two stupid athletic directors at Tennessee and USC who are now either dead or out of their jobs who hired Lane Kiffin so there could very well be a Very Damn Stupid Moron in South Florida who would hire Lane Kiffin to coach the Miami Hurricanes…
Hold it a second…No One Is That Damn Stupid!
Regardless if there is a Complete Moron or Morons in South Florida that would consider hiring Lane Kiffin there is no getting around the fact that Al Golden will either get Miami to 9-plus wins plus in 2015 or the Al Golden era at Miami will be over….PERIOD.
Here is how Al Golden and his Miami team will open the season:
Bethune-Cookman At FAU Nebraska At Cincinnati At Florida State
Recommendation for Al Golden: Have your Miami team at 4 – 0 when you travel to Tallahassee on October 10 because you need at least…
9 Wins in 2015
…to return to coach the Miami Hurricanes in 2016!
Good Luck to you Al Golden!
5. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin took over the very tough job of coaching the New Mexico State football team in 2013 and in the last two seasons Martin has put up a record of…
Overall: 4 – 20
Another 2 – 10 season at NMSU and that’s it for Doug Martin in Las Cruces…right?
One would think so.
6. Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner has been a head coach at three different schools….San Jose State, Illinois, Florida International for…
….and Ron Turner has put up this many .500 or better records in those 11 seasons:
3 Seasons at .500 or better!
Here is Ron Turner’s overall win/loss record in those 11 Seasons:
47 – 80
Here is Ron Turner’s record at FIU the last 2 Seasons:
5 – 19
No…we don’t understand why Ron Turner is the head football coach at FIU either but then there are rumors that someone in South Florida might make a hire worse than Ron Turner by hiring Lane Kiffin at Miami so maybe athletic directors in South Florida are just….
Complete Freaking Idiots!
Oh…FIU opens the season…
At UCF At Indiana
Got 0 – 2 to start the season?
7. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – For all the talk that Kliff Kingsbury was the second coming of Darrell Royal in 2013 Pretty Boy Kingsbury crashed back to Earth in 2014 and now has posted the following records at Texas Tech:
Overall: 12 – 13
Big 12: 6 – 12
Got if Johnny Manziel isn’t at Texas A&M when Kliff Kingsbury got to College Station no one would know Kliff Kingsbury’s name?
Why yes we do!
Here’s the problem for Pretty Boy Kingsbury….TCU and Baylor are sitting on top of a Big 12 and if TCU and Baylor can be on top of the Big 12 then for Damn sure Texas Tech can as well which means 2015 will be a critical season for Pretty Boy Kingsbury which makes the Red Raiders first five games of the season critical with a capital C!
Sam Houston UTEP At Arkansas TCU Baylor
What if Texas Tech is 2 – 3 after the Baylor game on October 3 with the Red Raiders facing 5 of their last 7 games on the road in the Big 12?
That would be trouble with a capital T for Pretty Boy Kingsbury!
The new nickname for Kliff Kingsbury at Coaches Hot Seat is…
PBK = Pretty Boy Kingsbury
Let’s try that out in a sentence:
Did you see that PBK was doing another photo shoot while his coaching career is going in the toilet?
Hey PBK works great for us!
Now let’s see what PBK can do in Year 3 at Texas Tech!
8. Trent Miles, Georgia State – Trent Miles has been the head football coach at new FBS school Georgia State for two seasons and has posted records of…
Overall: 1 – 23
Sun Belt: 0 – 15
Yep…those kind of records will land your ass on the Hot Seat for sure!
Oh…Georgia State plays at Oregon on September 19! That should be great fun for Trent Miles and his Panthers!
Coach ‘em up Trent Miles!
9. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Southern Miss did get a little better in Todd Monken’s second season improving to a 3 – 9 record in 2014 from a 1 – 11 record in 2013 and we will be looking for a similar improvement in 2015 with us putting a target of…
…for the Golden Eagles on the board for this upcoming season which will get Todd Monken’s ass off the Hot Seat.
4 Wins of Less…
Got Hot Seat?
Todd Monken will all season long!
10. Mike London, Virginia – We can only assume the person creating the non-conference football schedule at Virginia doesn’t really give a Damn about the head coach or football team for that matter because this non-conference schedule for UVA is Absolutely Freaking Insane!
At UCLA Notre Dame William & Mary Boise State
Mike London needs SIX wins in 2015 minimum to return to coach the Virginia Cavaliers in 2016 and more than likely UVA will have to split their non-conference schedule with a 2 – 2 record to have a chance to win SIX games this season with an ACC Conference that is getting tougher by the day.
Good Luck Mike!
Coming Next….Analysis Of….
#11 – 20 Hot Seat Head Coaches on Monday – August 24
#21 – 30 Hot Seat Head Coaches on Tuesday – August 25
In honor of the OLD Coaches Hot Seat members that are no longer driving this train how about a few songs from The Highwaymen? Enjoy!