COACHES HOT SEAT

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Sunday, September 27, 2015 – Steve Sabol

 

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“Life is great. Football is better.”

And

“The autumn wind is a pirate. Blustering in from sea with a rollicking song he sweeps along swaggering boisterously. His face is weather beaten, he wears a hooded sash with a silver hat about his head… The autumn wind is a Raider, pillaging just for fun.”

And

“I think in the NFL knowledge is power, and you try to get the knowledge by whatever means.”

And

“A perfect record does not mean that someone is the greatest. Rocky Marciano never lost a fight, but I never hear anyone say he’s the greatest heavyweight champion of all time.”

And

“I never thought of what I was doing as a way to sell the NFL. I was making movies about a sport that I loved, about players and coaches that I respected. I wanted to convey my love of the game through film. And most artists convey their love through art. And my art and my love was expressed through film.”

And

“Lombardi, a certain magic still lingers in the very name. It speaks of duels in the snow and November mud… He remains for many the heart of pro football, pumping hard right now.”

And

“Look at a football field. It looks like a big movie screen. This is theatre. Football combines the strategy of chess. It’s part ballet. It’s part battleground, part playground. We clarify, amplify and glorify the game with our footage, the narration and that music, and in the end create an inspirational piece of footage.”

And

“I’ve always been fascinated by Picasso and how he would look at a single image through multiple perspectives and from separate moments in time. He would look at a woman’s face and he would see almost a three-dimensional look even though it was a flat canvas. I thought, well why couldn’t we do the same thing with a football play?”

And

“When my father bid $5,000 for the 1962 Championship Game, that was a huge amount. It was double the bid the year before. Pete Rozelle was flabbergasted. Who was this guy who was willing to spend so much money on what seemed like relatively worthless rights to the NFL Championship Game?”

And

“If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s not being noticed.”

And

“I remember when we were making ‘They Call It Pro Football,’ which was our ‘Citizen Kane.’ The first line is ‘It starts with a whistle and ends with a gun.'”

And

“If you can show something as complicated as two people falling in love with just music and camera angles, well, just think about what you can do with football.”

And

“Football is a sport of emotions, and we have to capture that in our films.”

And

“I’ve been very lucky in the freedom that I’ve been given. Every artist needs two types of freedom: You need the freedom to – the freedom to come up with an idea or treatment – and then you need the other half of the freedom, and that’s freedom from – somebody saying, ‘This is great. This is how I want you to do it.'”

And

“NFL Films has had one continuous, creative vision for 47 years. These are timeless things; timeless stories that we capture just like people go back and read Greek mythology.”

And

“You know how I came up with the name ‘Road to the Super Bowl?’ It’s an homage to the old Bob Hope – Bing Crosby buddy movies – you know, like ‘Road to Zanzibar’ or ‘Road to Morocco.’ Can you tell? All I’ve done my whole life is go to movies.”

And

“So they talk about heaven, and I don’t know what is waiting for me up there. But I can tell you this: Nothing will happen up there that can duplicate my life down here. Nothing. That life cannot be better than the one I’ve lived down here, the football life. It’s been perfect.”

And

“To me, football is very personal. Even as a kid, I looked at football in dramaturgical terms. It wasn’t the score that interested me, it was the struggle.”

And

“I’ve always believed in that famous quote from Karl Marx, something like; ‘Men make history, but not under conditions of their own choosing.”

And

“The pressure is suffocating down there; there’s no air to breathe. You make a mistake or come up just short in the Super Bowl, and it feels like the end of the world.”

Wikipedia:  Steve Sabol

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Saturday, September 26, 2015 – Omar Bradley

 

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“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.”

And

“Leadership is intangible, and therefore no weapon ever designed can replace it.”

And

“Set your course by the stars, not by the lights of every passing ship.”

And

“This is as true in everyday life as it is in battle: we are given one life and the decision is ours whether to wait for circumstances to make up our mind, or whether to act, and in acting, to live.”

And

“Dependability, integrity, the characteristic of never knowingly doing anything wrong, that you would never cheat anyone, that you would give everybody a fair deal. Character is a sort of an all-inclusive thing. If a man has character, everyone has confidence in him. Soldiers must have confidence in their leader.”

And

“We have men of science, too few men of God. We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount. The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.”

And

“Wars can be prevented just as surely as they can be provoked, and we who fail to prevent them, must share the guilt for the dead.”

And

“The way to win an atomic war is to make certain it never starts.”

And

“With the monstrous weapons man already has, humanity is in danger of being trapped in this world by its moral adolescents.”

And

Military hero, courageous in battle, and gentle in spirit, friend of the common soldier, General of the Army, first Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, he embodies the best of the American military tradition with dignity, humanity, and honor. Gerald Ford, remarks upon presenting Bradley with the Presidential Medal of Freedom (10 January 1977)

And

An Armistice Day Address

By General Omar N. Bradley
Boston, Massachusetts
November 10, 1948

“TOMORROW is our day of conscience. For although it is a monument to victory, it is also a symbol of failure. Just as it honors the dead, so must it humble the living.

Armistice Day is a constant reminder that we won a war and lost a peace.

It is both a tribute and an indictment: A tribute to the men who died that their neighbors might live without fear of aggression. An indictment of those who lived and forfeited their chance for peace.

Therefore, while Armistice Day is a day for pride, it is for pride in the achievements of others—humility in our own.

Neither remorse nor logic can hide the fact that our armistice ended in failure. Not until the armistice myth exploded in the blast of a Stuka bomb did we learn that the winning of wars does not in itself make peace. And not until Pearl Harbor did we learn that non-involvement in peace means certain involvement in war.
We paid grievously for those faults of the past in deaths, disaster, and dollars.

It was a penalty we knowingly chose to risk. We made the choice when we defaulted on our task in creating and safeguarding a peace.

It is no longer possible to shield ourselves with arms alone against the ordeal of attack. For modern war visits destruction on the victor and the vanquished alike. Our only complete assurance of surviving World War III is to halt it before it starts.

For that reason we clearly have no choice but to face the challenge of these strained times. To ignore the danger of aggression is simply to invite it. It must never again be said of the American people: Once more we won a war; once more we lost a peace. If we do we shall doom our children to a struggle that may take their lives.

ARMED forces can wage wars but they cannot make peace. For there is a wide chasm between war and peace—a chasm that can only be bridged by good will, discussion, compromise, and agreement. In 1945 while still bleeding from the wounds of aggression, the nations of this world met in San Francisco to build that span from war to peace. For three years—first hopefully, then guardedly, now fearfully—free nations have labored to complete that bridge. Yet again and again they have been obstructed by a nation whose ambitions thrive best on tension, whose leaders are scornful of peace except on their own impossible terms.

The unity with which we started that structure has been riddled by fear and suspicion. In place of agreement we are wrangling dangerously over the body of that very nation whose aggression had caused us to seek each other as allies and friends.

Only three years after our soldiers first clasped hands over the Elbe, this great wartime ally has spurned friendship with recrimination, it has clenched its fists and skulked in conspiracy behind it secretive borders.

As a result today we are neither at peace nor war. Instead we are engaged in this contest of tension, seeking agreement with those who disdain it, rearming, and struggling for peace.

Time can be for or against us.

It can be for us if diligence in our search for agreement equals the vigilance with which we prepare for a storm.

It can be against us if disillusionment weakens our faith in discussion—or if our vigilance corrodes while we wait.

Disillusionment is always the enemy of peace. And today—as after World War I —disillusionment can come from expecting too much, too easily, too soon. In our impatience we must never forget that fundamental differences have divided this world; they allow no swift, no cheap, no easy solutions.

While as a prudent people we must prepare ourselves to encounter what we may be unable to prevent, we nevertheless must never surrender ourselves to the certainty of that encounter.

For if we say there is no good in arguing with what must inevitably come, then we shall be left with no choice but to create a garrison state and empty our wealth into arms. The burden of long-term total preparedness for some indefinite but inevitable war could not help but crush the freedom we prize. It would leave the American people soft victims for bloodless aggression.

BOTH the East and the West today deprecate war. Yet because of its threatening gestures, its espousal of chaos, its secretive tactics, and its habits of force—one nation has caused the rest of the world to fear that it might recklessly resort to force rather that be blocked in its greater ambitions.

The American people have said both in their aid to Greece and in the reconstruction of Europe that any threat to freedom is a threat to our own lives. For we know that unless free peoples stand boldly and united against the forces of aggression, they may fall wretchedly, one by one, into the web of oppression.

It is fear of the brutal unprincipled use of force by reckless nations that might ignore the vast reserves of our defensive strength that has caused the American people to enlarge their air, naval, and ground arms.

Reluctant as we are to muster this costly strength, we must leave no chance for miscalculation in the mind of any aggressor.

Because in the United States it is the people who are sovereign, the Government is theirs to speak their voice and to voice their will, truthfully and without distortion.

We, the American people, can stand cleanly before the entire world and say plainly to any state:

“This Government will not assail you.

“You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressor.”

Since the origin of the American people, their chief trait has been the hatred of war. And yet these American people are ready to take up their arms against aggression and destroy if need be by their might any nation which would violate the peace of the world.

There can be no compromise with aggression anywhere in the world. For aggression multiplies—in rapid succession—disregard for the rights of man. Freedom when threatened anywhere is at once threatened everywhere.

NO MORE convincing an avowal of their peaceful intentions could have been made by the American people than by their offer to submit to United Nations the secret of the atom bomb. Our willingness to surrender this trump advantage that atomic energy might be used for the peaceful welfare of mankind splintered the contentions of those word-warmakers that our atom had been teamed with the dollar for imperialistic gain.

Yet because we asked adequate guarantees and freedom of world-wide inspection by the community of nations itself, our offer was declined and the atom has been recruited into this present contest of nerves. To those people who contend that secrecy and medieval sovereignty are more precious than a system of atomic control, I can only reply that it is a cheap price to pay for peace.

The atom bomb is far more than a military weapon. It may—as Bernard Baruch once said—contain the choice between the quick and the dead. We dare not forget that the advantage in atomic warfare lies with aggression and surprise. If we become engaged in an atom bomb race, we may simply lull ourselves to sleep behind an atomic stockpile. The way to win an atomic war is to make certain it never starts.

WITH the monstrous weapons man already has, humanity is in danger of being trapped in this world by its moral adolescents. Our knowledge of science has clearly outstripped our capacity to control it. We have many men of science; too few men of God. We have grasped the mystery of the atom and rejected the Sermon on the Mount. Man is stumbling blindly through a spiritual darkness while toying with the precarious secrets of life and death. The world has achieved brilliance without wisdom, power without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war than we know about peace, more about killing than we know about living.

This is our twentieth century’s claim to distinction and to progress.

IN OUR concentration on the tactics of strength and resourcefulness which have been used in the contest for blockaded Berlin, we must not forget that we are also engaged in a long-range conflict of ideas. Democracy can withstand ideological attacks if democracy will provide earnestly and liberally for the welfare of its people. To defend democracy against attack, men must value freedom. And to value freedom they must benefit by it in happier and more secure lives for their wives and their children.

Throughout this period of tension in which we live, the American people must demonstrate conclusively to all other peoples of the world that democracy not only guarantees man’s human freedom but that it guarantees his economic dignity and progress as well. To practice freedom and make it work, we must cherish the individual; we must provide him the opportunities for reward and impress upon him the responsibilities a free man bears to the society in which he lives.”

Wikipedia Page: Omar Bradley

24 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week FOUR – Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan Performing Deacon Blues!

 

“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”

Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan performing Deacon Blues!

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1.  Mike London, Virginia vs. Boise State – The Virginia football non-conference schedule from Hell ends on Friday night with a game against Boise State after games against UCLA and Notre Dame (and CUPCAKE William & Mary which wasn’t that Damn easy of a game for the Cavs) and barring another great performance more than likely Virginia will enter ACC play at Pitt on October 10 at 1 – 3 and fighting for their lives and head coach Mike London on one of the Hottest Seats in America.

Can Mike London’s Cavs find a way to beat a very good Boise State on Friday night?

Make that Mike London’s Cavs CANNOT LOSE to Boise State at home on Friday night!

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

2.  David Shaw, Stanford vs. Oregon State – Even with the win over an USC football team that looked very wobbly against Stanford the Cardinal football team is still for the most part an unknown that has seen David Shaw post a record of….

10 – 7 in his last 17 games at Stanford

6 – 4 in his last 10 Pac-12 games at Stanford

…which makes Friday night’s game against Oregon State in Corvallis a mystery for sure especially when you calculate in new Beavers head coach Gary Andersen who should make OSU a more competitive team than they were under Mike Riley especially during Riley’s last few years on the job where Mediocrity with a Capital M was the dominant theme of the program.

The word that we here at Coaches Hot Seat are getting is that Stanford is a very motivated football team right now and the players are determined to build on the momentum that they got in the win over the Trojans BUT if for some reason the Cardinal should stumble and fall to 2 – 2 on the season after a loss to Oregon State which does have a first-year head coach then Stanford David Shaw will be right back on the Hot Seat so for Damn sure….

Play like men possessed Stanford boys!

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3.  Mike Riley, Nebraska vs. Southern Miss – We were talking on the phone this past week to one of our long-time Nebraska friends who we first met over 20 years ago at a Berkshire-Hathaway annual shareholders meeting in Omaha and as a HUGE Nebraska alum and booster he had naturally looked into Mike Riley’s tenure at Oregon State and relative to Riley he asked the following of us:

“Did you guys know that in Mike Riley’s last 50 games at Oregon State his win/loss record was 24 – 26?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “Yes, of course we knew that and during most of that time Mike Riley was on the Hot Seat.”

Nebraska Friend: “I have asked a lot of people here in Nebraska a question I cannot get a good answer to and that question is: “How in the Heck can you get the Nebraska job when at your last school in your last 50 games you posted a record of 24 – 26?”

Coaches Hot Seat: “We have some news for you….no one will be able to answer that question with an answer that makes any Damn sense!”

Nebraska: “Let’s hope Mike Riley understands that if he posts a losing record in 2015 with the amount of talent that Bo Pelini left on the Huskers roster Riley will be back on Oregon permanently before Christmas along with anyone else that was responsible for hiring him!”

Damn!

Nebraska is now at 1 – 2 and still has these games to play:

Southern Miss
At Illinois
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Northwestern
At Purdue
Michigan State
At Rutgers
Iowa

Can Mike Riley and his Nebraska team win at least 5 of their remaining 9 games to avoid Riley spending Christmas back in Oregon permanently?

Golly Gee Whiz….we don’t know about that so here’s to hoping Mike Riley hasn’t sold his house in Corvallis yet!

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4.  George O’Leary, UCF vs. South Carolina – Why is it that words of Jed Clampett come to mind when considering the current state of UCF football under George “I want to be the permanent AD at UCF “ O’Leary with those words being….

“Pitiful….Just Pitiful!”

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Because those words fit the current state of UCF football under George “Anyone heard yet if I have been named the permanent AD at UCF yet” O’Leary!

Luckily for UCF and George “I just love the idea of being the permanent AD at UCF because I won’t have to work all these long hours that the football coach has to” O’Leary they play a team this week in South Carolina that is almost as Damn pitiful as the Knights!

Still…no way that the Ole’ Ball Coach and the Gamecocks lose to this Pitiful UCF team….right?

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

5.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina vs. UCF – For a lucky group of Coaches Hot Seat members our fathers started taking us to The Masters golf tournament in the 1970s before we were even in junior high school and it was there that we fell in love with the Augusta National Golf Club and everything else that makes up the greatest golf tournament in the world and in our opinion the very best thing about The Masters is its co-founder…

The Great Bobby Jones

….who is still in our minds one of the greatest golfers who ever lived and who did something that would be Completely Damn Unheard today.

Bobby Jones retired from the game of golf ON TOP of the game!

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In 1930 playing as an amateur golfer Bobby Jones won the so-called “Grand Slam” of that age in the game of golf which included wins in the following major golf tournaments…

British Amateur
Open Championship (British Open to Americans)
US Open
US Amateur

…and after that amazing accomplishment which included a career of winning 13 major championships overall and 7 wins in the US and British Opens Bobby Jones retired from golf at the ripe old age of 28 and of course went on to great success including the founding of the Augusta National Golf Club and The Masters golf tournament.

What does Bobby Jones have to do with Steve Spurrier exactly?

The TRUTH is it’s just no Damn fun watching one of your heroes failing at the very thing that made him a hero which in this case is…

Stephen Orr Spurrier coaching the game of football

…but that is exactly what is happening right now at South Carolina and barring a major miracle turnaround the 2015 season is going to be a Complete and Total Disaster for the Gamecocks and Steve Spurrier knows it.

Here’s Steve Spurrier’s BIGGEST problem:  When you are a part-time coach which in our opinion Steve Spurrier is in spades at South Carolina and you are winning games then everything is fine….BUT…if you start posting losing records as a part-time coach and there are dozens of up-and-coming football coaches around the country that will work like a Demon at 80-plus hours a week if they had your job then your job status is in great danger and that is the case of Steve Spurrier at South Carolina no matter what the “Powers That Be” at the University of South Carolina tell you.

The South Carolina football head coaching job is not a gift to be given from God to someone that can keep as long as they like and if the Gamecocks crash and burn in 2015 as it looks like they are bound and determined to do then Steve Spurrier will have no choice but to retire to the beach and play a lot of golf.

Can South Carolina beat UCF?

South Carolina BETTER DAMN beat this Pitiful UCF team!

An old Greek idea…”As long as your name is whispered on the Earth you are immortal” = “Bobby Jones!”

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6.  Les Miles, LSU vs. Syracuse – Les Miles has LSU off to a nice start in 2015 with wins over Mississippi State and Auburn but we are talking about the Mad Hatter here and this is the kind of game where if LSU is not focused on the road against Syracuse in the Carrier Dome the Tigers could end up on the losing side of this game which would of course…

Send Les Miles right back to the Hot Seat!

Yes…Syracuse if a CANNOT LOSE game for Les Miles and the LSU Tigers!

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7.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue vs. Bowling Green – Purdue is off to a slow start in 2015 with their pretty tough non-conference schedule of Marshall, Indiana State, Virginia Tech and Bowling Green and Bowling Green in Week 4 is not going to be a Box of Cupcakes and a loss in this spot and Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers will be sitting at…

1 – 3

….with Big Ten play beginning on October 3 at Michigan State!

Can Darrell Hazell and Purdue find 5 more wins playing the remaining games?

Bowling Green
At Michigan State
Minnesota
At Wisconsin
Nebraska
Illinois
At Northwestern
At Iowa
Indiana

If they can then that will be a Helluva coaching job by Darrell Hazell which really makes Bowling Green a CANNOT LOSE Game!

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8.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. Wake Forest – Indiana head coach Kevin Wilson is very close to getting his ass off the Hot Seat which would happen with a win over a slightly improving Wake Forest team and the Hoosiers especially need this win because that would put them at 4 – 0 heading into Big Ten play where they should be able to find 2 wins out of 8 conference games and thus get IU back to a bowl game which is ALWAYS a significant accomplishment at Indiana.

YES….Wake Forest is a CANNOT LOSE Game for Kevin Wilson and Indiana!

9.  Ron Turner, Florida International vs. La. Tech – This is Ron Turner’s third season as the head coach at FIU and he has posted an overall record of…

7 – 20

…and thus EVERY game from here on out will be CANNOT LOSE game which of course makes this Saturday’s game at La Tech a CANNOT LOSE game especially with a game at UMass on deck.

10.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming vs. New Mexico – If Craig Bohl is EVER going to get the Wyoming football program pointed in the right direction after a 4 – 11 start in Laramie then beating a struggling New Mexico team may just be the spot to do that BUT this is also a game that Bohl CANNOT LOSE because a loss to the Lobos will really show just how far Wyoming football has fallen and how far it will have to come back just to get within sniffing distance of 6 wins-plus and a bowl game!

New Mexico is a CANNOT LOSE game for Craig Bowl and Wyoming!

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11.  Bob Davie, New Mexico vs. Wyoming – Bob Davie needs some wins at New Mexico and fast and a game against a struggling Wyoming team may be just the place for the Lobos to get their second win of the 2015 season BUT a loss in this spot to the Cowboys will make it very tough for New Mexico to get 6 wins in 2015 and in our opinion Bob Davie REALLY needs 6 wins in 2015 to return to coach the Lobos next season.

YES….Wyoming is a CANNOT LOSE game for Bob Davie and the Lobos!

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12.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia vs. Maryland – With a 2 – 0 start to the 2015 season Dana Holgorsen is now only a win over Maryland from getting his ass off the Hot Seat….at least for now….and we would recommend that the Mountaineers beat Maryland because it will be no Damn fun going into Big 12 play with a game at Oklahoma with your ass on the Hot Seat so Holgorsen get your ass off the Hot Seat with a win on Saturday!

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13.  Randy Edsall, Maryland vs. West Virginia – Randy Edsall got off the long smoldering Hot Seat in 2014 with a 7 – 5 regular season record before getting crushed by Stanford in their bowl game and now the Terps have started slow in 2015 and with a loss to West Virginia in Morgantown Randy Edsall will find his ass right back on the Hot Seat which for Damn sure makes this WVU game at….

CANNOT LOSE or it is Hot Seat for sure for Edsall!

14.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. North Texas – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa are off to a 3 – 0 start in 2015 but we have seen this movie before and the question is now can the Hawkeyes keep things rolling against North Texas before they open up Big Ten play at Wisconsin on October 3?

We don’t know but we do know that…

North Texas is a CANNOT LOSE game for Kirk Ferentz and the Iowa Hawkeyes!

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15.  Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Oklahoma State – If you want to understand what is going on behind the scenes of the Texas athletic department and Texas football program right now deep in the heart of Texas just watch the below clip from the movie Nixon when Richard Nixon met with some “boys” in Texas shortly before November 1963 when the “Texas boys” tried without success to get Nixon to commit to run against John F. Kennedy in the 1964 Presidential Election:

Charlie Strong and his Texas coaches should just keep their heads down and keep trying to win football games BUT everyone should understand the firing of now former Texas AD Steve Patterson was done for a reason while the college football season was still going on and that is because in our opinion if the Texas football team falls flat on its face this season with a less than .500 record then there will be a MASSIVE push by the “Texas boys” to payoff Charlie Strong and go hire a new head football coach for the Texas Longhorns which we would handicap in the following way as the most likely next head football coach at Texas…in order with most likely first:

Nick Saban
Jimbo Fisher
Mark Dantonio
Jim Mora
Rich Rodriguez
Gary Patterson
Chip Kelly

YES…you could say that Oklahoma State is a CANNOT LOSE game for Charlie Strong and the Texas Longhorns!

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16.   Butch Jones, Tennessee vs. Florida – You can do all the Damn great recruiting you want and all the Damn great talking you want but if you don’t win football games when you are at a place like Tennessee you will find your ass on the Hot Seat and eventually out of a job and when we say “win football games” it is our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that Butch Jones’ Tennessee football team should win…

8 Games in 2015

….and that is why that Cowardly Oklahoma loss was such a Complete Freaking Disaster for Jones and a loss that Jones MUST atone for with a win over Florida on Saturday in the….

CANNOT DAMN LOSE Game of the Day!

The Tennessee Vols now at 2 – 1 on the season have these games remaining to be played….

At Florida
Arkansas
Georgia
At Alabama
At Kentucky
South Carolina
North Texas
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

…and in our opinion if you could have beaten Oklahoma if not for some COWARDLY coaching then for Damn sure you can beat….Florida, Arkansas, Kentucky, South Carolina, North Texas and Vanderbilt which adds up to…

8 Wins Total and an 8 – 4 overall record

…and thus Butch Jones now has his charge…beat ALL of the above listed teams and get 8 wins on the board or Hot Seat it will be!

17.  Jeff Monken, Army vs. Eastern Michigan – Even sitting on an 0 – 3 record and his ass on the Hot Seat Jeff Monken’s Army team hasn’t played too badly in 2015 and that is why we here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expect Army to beat Eastern Michigan on Saturday in a CANNOT LOSE game for the West Point Boys….Go Army!

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18.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas vs. Texas A&M –From where we sit we see only three possible scenarios for the rest of the 2015 Arkansas football season and Bret Bielema’s future in Northwest Arkansas:

A.  Somehow Arkansas beats Texas A&M on Saturday and the Razorbacks come roaring back under BIG Talking Bret Bielema to win 8 games overall and a winning record in SEC play and Bielema is the talk of Razorback Country come December!

B.  Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday but somehow regroups to win 6 or 7 games with a .500 record in SEC play and although Bret Bielema’s ass is still on the Hot Seat come December he lives to fight another day and comes back for the 2016 season to coach the Razorbacks.

C.  Arkansas gets destroyed by Texas A&M and then loses to Tennessee and Alabama on the road and amazingly somehow loses to Auburn at home also which has Bret Bielema’s ass HOTTER than a newly arrived showgirl in Vegas and then the rest of the season falls apart with the Hogs finishing with records of….

2 – 10 overall

0 – 8 in SEC play

…which is followed by Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long being driven out of Fayetteville in the dark of the night for their own personal safety never to be seen again in Northwest Arkansas!

We asked one of our Arkansas fishing buddies what would happen if Arkansas only won 2, 3 or 4 games in 2015 and his response was:

“That Fat Ass Bielema would have his ass run right out of town is what would happen!”

With the possibility of “that Fat Ass Bielema getting his ass run right out of town” come December we now have a pool going on at Coaches Hot Seat on who will be the next head football coach at Arkansas and the leader of that Coaches Hot Seat Next Arkansas Head Coach Pool as of September 25 is…

Justin Fuentes, Memphis head football coach!

Coach ‘Em Up Bret Bielema or fully expect to get your “Fast Ass run right out of town” come December!

Good Luck against the Aggies Bret and if you lose….well….you know…your ass will only get Hotter!

19.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt vs. Ole Miss – Assuming for a moment that Derek Mason can retain his job at Vandy if somehow the Commodores can get 4 wins at least in 2015 this Saturday’s game against Ole Miss is not really a…

CANNOT LOSE Game

…but rather how about let’s see if Vandy can make this game competitive for awhile and stay healthy in the process and get ready for a BIG game at Middle Tennessee on October 3 which is for Damn sure a CANNOT LOSE Game!

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20.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn vs. Mississippi State – Almost two decades ago now when a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were working on the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta they were invited over to Talladega, Alabama for one of the 500 mile NASCAR races at the Talladega Motor Speedway and during that trip they learned a very valuable lesson about human nature. Before the race the two Coaches Hot Seat members were talking to the owner of one of the cars in the race that day and they were telling the owner how exciting it was to watch races on TV from Talladega and that they were looking forward to a great day of racing to which the car owner replied to by saying:

“Well Hell Boys….glad to hear you love the racing but as for everyone else at home watching on TV and the people at the track they love to see the crashes!”

The above insight into human nature is why to all of us in the general public that watching what is unfolding at Auburn is so Damn interesting because the Auburn Tigers football program is right now in the middle of a slow-motion crash that could turn into one of those 20-plus car pileups they have ALWAYS have at Daytona and Talladega with just one more loss on the board and that is why this game against Mississippi State on Saturday is not only a HUGE game for the Auburn Tigers…

It is the BIGGEST game of Gus Malzahn’s young college coaching career!

The line between Failure and Success is now razor thin in Major College Football and there is no Damn guarantee that what worked today will work tomorrow mainly because what you are doing today is being taken apart by dozens of graduate assistants in college athletic departments that are working overtime to find ways to BLOW-UP what you are succeeding with today and there in a nutshell is what has happened at Auburn for Gus Malzahn who runs an offense that even a mediocre defense can BLOW-UP if Malzahn does not have a game-changing quarterback receiving the snaps.

We don’t have a Freaking Clue if the new starting Auburn QB Sean White is the solution to what ails the Tigers’ offense BUT for Damn sure Gus Malzahn had no choice but to try another quarterback because Jeremy Johnson was moving in slow motion while making very Damn slow decisions and when you combine Slow + Gus Malzahn’s offense you have nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster!

Let’s look at Auburn’s remaining schedule with the Tigers now at 2 – 1:

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

If Auburn plays like they did against Louisville, Jacksonville State and LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

5 Games in 2015

…and if Auburn only wins 5 games in 2015 the Hot Seat under Gus Malzahn’s ass especially if the Tigers don’t beat Alabama will make Dante’s Nine Circles of Hell look like a rollercoaster ride at Six Flags!

21.  Norm Chow, Hawaii vs. Wisconsin – Is there anyone with a working brain that believes Hawaii can beat Wisconsin in Madison?

Didn’t think so which makes this Saturday’s Hawaii at Wisconsin game not so much a…

CANNOT LOSE

…..game for Warriors head coach Norm Chow but rather a….

CANNOT LOSE TOO DAMN BAD Game!

Good Luck in Madison Norm!

22.  Paul Petrino, Idaho vs. Georgia Southern – Eventually when you post a win/loss record like this…

3 – 23

…as a head football coach you will be called into someone’s office and told to get your stuff together because you are done and sooner rather than later unless Paul Petrino starts winning some football games at Idaho that is a conversation that Petrino will be having which makes the Vandals’ Saturday game against Georgia Southern a…

CANNOT DAMN LOSE Game!

23.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State vs. Fresno State – Most of all right now San Jose State HC Ron Caragher needs some wins because his win/loss records with the Spartans of….

Overall:  10 – 17

MWC:  7 – 10

….in now his third season on the job equals Hot Seat in a BIG way and the only way to get off the Hot Seat is to start winning some football games starting with the game against Fresno State on Saturday.

Fresno State is a clear CANNOT LOSE game for Ron Caragher and San Jose State!

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24.  Steve Sarkisian, USC vs. Arizona State – To say our USC alum friends are unhappy right now with the state of USC football would be a massive understatement because they fully believed that the Trojans would roll Stanford last Saturday setting up a BIG game this week against Arizona State in Tempe BUT now this Arizona State game is very simply….

A game that Steve Sarkisian CANNOT LOSE

…especially with what remains on USC’s schedule after this Saturday:

Washington
At Notre Dame
Utah
At California
Arizona
At Colorado
At Oregon
UCLA

Damn…if USC drops to 2 – 2 with a loss to Arizona State on Saturday the Trojans will be fighting to just get to 6 wins in 2015 and if the Trojans win less than 8 games this season….

Damn…just Damn…our USC alum friends will be all over AD Pat Haden to find a new football coach for the Trojans and when these boys start calling for your ass to be fired…your ass is almost always fired!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Friday, September 25, 2015 – Ernest Shackleton

 

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“By endurance we conquer.”

And

“Difficulties are just things to overcome, after all.”

And

“Superhuman effort isn’t worth a damn unless it achieves results.”

And

“We had seen God in His splendors, heard the text that Nature renders. We had reached the naked soul of man.”

And

“Optimism is true moral courage.”

And

“Leadership is a fine thing, but it has its penalties. And the greatest penalty is loneliness.”

And

“A man must shape himself to a new mark directly the old one goes to ground.”

And

“I have often marveled at the thin line which separates success from failure.”

And

“You often have to hide from them not only the truth, but your feelings about the truth. You may know that the facts are dead against you, but you mustn’t say so.”

And

“If you’re a leader, a fellow that other fellows look to, you’ve got to keep going.”

And

Shackleton’s Leadership of the Endurance Expedition, Charles Chappell, Wharton Exeutive MBS Program (pdf)

Lessons in Leadership

1. Put your people first
2. Be flexible in tactics
3. Choose your people carefully – for character, not just competence
4. Sustain optimism in the face of adversity
5. Lead by example
6. Strive for equal treatment
7. Exercise caution in pursuit of the goal
8. Balance optimism with realism

And

Leadership Lessons From the Shackleton Expedition, Nancy F. Koehin, New York Times

Wikipedia: Ernest Shackleton

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Thursday, September 24, 2015 – Ray Bradbury

 

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“Americans are far more remarkable than we give ourselves credit for. We’ve been so busy damning ourselves for years. We’ve done it all, and yet we don’t take credit for it.”

And

“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It’s self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.”

And

“Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.”

And

“I don’t try to describe the future. I try to prevent it.”

And

“I know you’ve heard it a thousand times before. But it’s true – hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don’t love something, then don’t do it.”

And

“I spent three days a week for 10 years educating myself in the public library, and it’s better than college. People should educate themselves – you can get a complete education for no money. At the end of 10 years, I had read every book in the library and I’d written a thousand stories.”

And

“If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business, because we’d be cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.”

And

“If you don’t like what you’re doing, then don’t do it.”

And

“If you dream the proper dreams, and share the myths with people, they will want to grow up to be like you.”

And

“If you enjoy living, it is not difficult to keep the sense of wonder.”

And

“Love is the answer to everything. It’s the only reason to do anything. If you don’t write stories you love, you’ll never make it. If you don’t write stories that other people love, you’ll never make it.”

And

“The best scientist is open to experience and begins with romance – the idea that anything is possible.”

And

“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.”

And

“We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.”

And

“We are the miracle of force and matter making itself over into imagination and will. Incredible. The Life Force experimenting with forms. You for one. Me for another. The Universe has shouted itself alive. We are one of the shouts.”

And

“You can’t try to do things; you simply must do them.”

And

“Insanity is relative. It depends on who has who locked in what cage.”

And

“There was always a minority afraid of something, and a great majority afraid of the dark, afraid of the future, afraid of the past, afraid of the present, afraid of themselves and shadows of themselves.”

Wikipedia:  Ray Bradbury

The State of Alabama Football – Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!

 

The State of Alabama Football

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A couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa from last Thursday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon for the Ole Miss – Alabama football game and to interview a few University of Alabama Culverhouse College of Commerce which they report is a mighty Damn fine school of business and late last night after doing some poking around the Alabama football program also the last few days they filed what they called…

The State of Alabama Football

…report which is Damn fascinating reading that is most certainly NOT for public consumption since many of the conclusions would probably land our asses in court if we published them in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog but we can say in this spot that…

There is something rotten in the state of Tuscaloosa!

What exactly is going on with Alabama football right now and where is the Crimson Tide football program headed into the future?

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Well…and these are our opinions here at Coaches Hot Seat mind you….BUT…the bottom-line conclusion of our folks on the ground in Tuscaloosa on The State of Alabama Football is…

Nick Saban overreacted to the “Kick 6” loss to Auburn at the end of the 2013 season which eventually led to Saban firing Bama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier and to the hiring of Lane Kiffin under what we will call…

“Dubious and Pressured Circumstances and in many ways forced on Nick Saban by “a couple of folks” in the name of “saving Lane Kiffin” precious ass when Kiffin’s coaching career was going into the toilet where it rightly belonged then and belongs today!”

…..and now instead of Nick Saban spending his time as the head coach at Alabama and primarily working on the defensive side of the ball Saban now spends upwards of 50% of his time overseeing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and the Alabama offense.

In the opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that spent several days in Tuscaloosa the once mighty Alabama offense which won three national titles for Nick Saban and was focused on controlling the ball, dominating the opposing team’s defense, and generally destroying the will of their opponents has now been “hollowed-out” by the implementation of Kiffin’s hurry-up spread offense that prizes showcasing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and Little Damn Else!

In case anyone was wondering below is the definition of “hollowed-out” as an adjective, noun and verb according to dictionary.com:

Hollowed-Out
adjective, hollower, hollowest.
1. having a space or cavity inside; not solid; empty: a hollow sphere.
2. having a depression or concavity: a hollow surface.
3. sunken, as the cheeks or eyes.
4. (of sound) not resonant; dull, muffled, or deep: a hollow voice.
5. without real or significant worth; meaningless: a hollow victory.
6. insincere or false: hollow compliments.
7. hungry; having an empty feeling: I feel absolutely hollow, so let’s eat.
noun
8. an empty space within anything; a hole, depression, or cavity.
9. a valley: They took the sheep to graze in the hollow.
10. Foundry. a concavity connecting two surfaces otherwise intersecting at an obtuse angle.
verb (used with object)
11. to make hollow (often followed by out): to hollow out a log.
12. to form by making something hollow (often followed by out): to hollow a place in the sand; boats hollowed out of logs.

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Yep…that’s the Alabama offense under Lane Kiffin…

Freaking Hollowed-Out!

On a related note the two Coaches Hot Seat members got to see Nick Saban close-up and we mean close-up…within 10 feet…before the Ole Miss – Alabama game and they wrote in their report on The State of Alabama Football about the appearance of Nick Saban and the Alabama coaching staff:

“Nick Saban looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks if not months. The area below his eyes were very swollen suggesting severe fatigue and it looked as if Saban had aged 10 years since the last time we saw him close-up at the Oklahoma – Alabama Sugar Bowl game in January 2013.

There is a noticeable tension among the Alabama coaching staff with both the staff and players looking very nervous and not confident at all right before kick-off of the game against Ole Miss. The Alabama sideline and coaches were much more subdued in the game against Ole Miss compared to when we have seen Alabama in-person in the past, and it seems the coaches and players were taking cues from Nick Saban who seemed unhappy before the game, miserable during the game, and in a complete daze as the game ended. It almost seemed like the Alabama coaches and players came into the game expecting to lose to Ole Miss and that is exactly what happened in a real world case of what one feared most becoming reality.

We foresee changes to the Alabama coaching staff in the upcoming offseason with Lane Kiffin leaving soon after the season is over if not before and maybe Nick Saban leaving Alabama if the right head coaching job offer came along because it seems that Saban is miserable having to meet the never-ending expectations at Alabama where winning games and championships isn’t expected but rather a birthright given to Alabama by God himself. Nick Saban needs a new challenge for the last 7 to 10 years of his coaching career and trying to keep winning championships at Alabama where not winning a National Title every year is akin to insulating Bama fans across the globe doesn’t look like much fun which means we believe Nick Saban will either be working in television a year from now or coaching the Texas Longhorns.”

There is a Helluva lot more in the 14 page report including an entertaining section on just what in the Hell is wrong with the Alabama offense which his titled:

“How Lane Kiffin Destroyed A Championship Winning Offense in Two Years While Getting His Ass Kissed by the Media”

OK…enough on Alabama for now….because we will have a Helluva lot more to say about Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Paul Finebaum, Jimmy Sexton, and “Y Person” if Alabama loses to Georgia and lands all four of the above Bastards on the Hot Seat with an analysis of the Complete and Total Idiocy that led to Nick Saban hiring Lane Kiffin at Alabama which may just turn-out to be one of the Stupidest Decisions in the history of sports in America as Kiffin brings down one of the Great College Football Dynasties in the history of the game and for what…to save the coaching career of Lane Freaking Kiffin!

Oh, please let Georgia beat Alabama….although in our opinion…

Georgia is NOT MAN ENOUGH to beat Alabama!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches

Come on down Johnny Cash because we have a few Coaches on the Hot Seat that love to hear you sing Ring of Fire…NOT REALLY!

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21.  Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles got a nice win over Texas State on the road on Saturday by the score of 56 – 50 which runs the USM record to 2 – 1 in 2015 and gives Monken’s team the opportunity to win a decent amount of games this season AND get Todd Monken off the Hot Seat!

In his third season at Southern Miss Todd Monken now has win/loss records of…

Overall:  6 – 21

CUSA:  2 – 14

….and a game at Nebraska this coming Saturday. Can Southern Miss possibly beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln and in the process further turn up the heat on Mike Riley’s ass in the process?

Probably not…BUT…the goal for Todd Monken and Southern Miss is to get to 6 wins in 2015 and with 2 wins on the board all the Golden Eagles need now is 4 wins and out of their last 9 games and if Monken can’t accomplish that in his third season on the job then his ass deserves to be on the Hot Seat!

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22.  Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and the Miami Hurricanes did their Damndest to give away the game to Nebraska on Saturday but in the end the Canes got the win in overtime and now it is on to Cincinnati for the 3 – 0 “U” which is a game that a Miami head coach in his FIFTH year on the job at Miami just flat-out CANNOT LOSE!

With Florida State up next Miami MUST beat Cincinnati on the road on October 1 as they look for the “9 to 10 wins” that Al Golden MUST have to remain the Hurricanes coach in 2016 and with these games left to play it’s easy to see why Cincinnati is a MUST WIN Game!

At Cincinnati
At Florida State
Virginia Tech
Clemson
At Duke
Virginia
At North Carolina
Georgia Tech
At Pitt

Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule for Al Golden…but Hell this is “The U” we are talking about here so if the Canes beat Cincinnati we are expecting a….

10 – 2

…final regular season record at the worst!

Coach ‘Em Up Al Golden!

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23.  Craig Bohl, Wyoming – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has yet figured out why Craig Bohl left powerhouse FCS program North Dakota State for FBS weakling Wyoming because it was our opinion that Bohl was in line for a BIG FBS job after all his success at NDSU which we thought might be Nebraska once Bo Pelini was run out of Lincoln which was always going to happen eventually….right? RIGHT!

Maybe Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska got the word from the folks in Lincoln that he was never going to jump from North Dakota State to his alma mater BUT if we had been the AD at Nebraska we would have fired Bo Pelini a few years ago just to hire Craig Bohl BUT then what the Hell do we know compared to that Real Man of Genius now running Nebraska Athletics Shawn Eichorst who will be run out of Lincoln on a rail with his coaching hire Mike Riley if Riley doesn’t exceed Pelini’s winning ways in Lincoln…right? RIGHT!

Whatever is going on in Lincoln Craig Bohl in his second season at Wyoming is sitting on records of…

Overall:  4 – 11

MWC:  2 – 6

….and has started the 2015 season off at 0 – 3 which has put Bohl into a Helluva spot that he will only get out of by doing one thing…

Winning Football Games!

Here is what Wyoming has left to play this season…

At New Mexico
At Appalachian State
At Air Force
Nevada
At Boise State
At Utah State
Colorado State
At San Diego State
UNLV

…and if you can find 6 wins for Wyoming out of their remaining 9 games then you are either an Idiot or doing some serious Damn drugs!

Will Craig Bohl’s once promising coaching career end in the wide-open plains of Wyoming after pulling one of the strangest coaching career moves in history that rivals Paul Dietzel’s decision in 1961 to leave LSU for the Army job which also ended up as a Complete Freaking Disaster?

Maybe so.

24.  Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson and Tulane got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over FCS Maine and now it’ss back to Not Really Big Boy Football after a bye week when Tulane hosts UCF which will probably be 0 – 4 once they get to New Orleans and in a Complete and Total Death Spiral under George O’Leary who it seems wants to be an AD more than he wants to be a Head Coach with his UCF football team reflecting that reality!

Very simply Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 and when we write Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 we mean Curtis Johnson needs…

6 Wins in the Regular Season

….to get Tulane back to a bowl game and somewhat back in the conversation as a legitimate football program and if Tulane doesn’t get 6 wins in 2015 then a pretty decent job for an up-and-coming young football coach who loves eating good food will probably open up in the Great City of New Orleans come December.

Get some wins Curtis Johnson starting with a win over Hapless UCF on October 3 but until then enjoy New Orleans!

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25.  Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – After starting 2 – 0 with wins over Georgia Southern and Liberty West Virginia had a bye week and now the football season actually begins with a MUST WIN Game against Maryland at home that Dana Holgorsen and the Mountaineers MUST WIN because they have a trip to Oklahoma on deck and being at 2 – 2 after four games would do nothing but turn the heat up on Holgorsen’s ass and make things very uncomfortable for Dana when Oklahoma State shows up in Morgantown on October 10.

BEAT Maryland and get off the Hot Seat for now Dana Holgorsen.

LOSE to Maryland and the Hot Seat just gets HOTTER Dana Holgorsen!

26.  Paul Haynes, Kent State – Here’s the problem for Kent State head coach Paul Haynes:

Paul Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won 11 games in 2012 under Darrell Hazell and here are Kent State’s records the last two-plus seasons…

2013:  4 – 8
2014:  2 – 9
2015:  1 – 2

…and that is either a trend that Paul Haynes will reverse and quick in 2015 or Kent State will be looking for a new head football coach come December.

Now at 1 – 2 on the season after a nice game but yet another loss against Minnesota with the lone win coming over Delaware State…CUPCAKE….this season Kent State has left to play in 2015….

Marshall
At Miami, Ohio
At Toledo
At UMass
Bowling Green
Buffalo
At Ohio
Central Michigan
At Akron

…and we would recommend the Golden Flashes find 5 more wins out their last 9 games for their head football coach….just a friendly recommendation from the folks at Coaches Hot Seat!

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27.  Bob Davie, New Mexico – When Bob Davie was working as an analyst for ESPN he always said that he would run the type of offense he is now running at New Mexico which to us is a slight variation of the run option offense that both Davie and Lou Holtz ran at Notre Dame which to us is ugly as Hell but then we tend to favor the West Coast offense as created by the Late Great Bill Walsh which had a huge running component but hands down was and is the most beautiful football offense in the world when called, run and executed correctly.

Whatever type of offense Bob Davie is running at New Mexico the FACTS are Davie’s records in four seasons at the school now stand at…

Overall:  12 – 28

MWC:  4 – 20

….which is not the kind of win/loss record that the folks in Albuquerque were expecting when they hired former Notre Dame head coach Bob Davie and we know that is how a couple of big New Mexico athletics boosters feel because we played golf with them earlier this year near Santa Fe and they told us that…

“Either Bob Davie takes New Mexico to a bowl game this season or it’s over for Bob.”

LasCampans

That was pretty matter of fact and with the Lobos now at 1 – 2 on the season and these games remaining to be played….

At Wyoming
New Mexico State
At Nevada
Hawaii
At San Jose State
Utah State
At Boise State
Colorado State
Air Force

…if Davie can squeeze out 5 wins out of New Mexico’s last 9 games and get his team to a bowl game for the first time in his four years at UNM then he should get a few more seasons to get things right with the Lobos BUT Bob…that Damn offense son…it just looks like Hell!

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28.  Bobby Petrino, Louisville – The “What Ifs” on Bobby Petrino’s coaching career are a mile long BUT the one decision that stands out to us was Petrino’s decision to interview for the Auburn head coaching job after only being gone from Auburn for one season where he worked as the offensive coordinator for Tommy Tuberville the very coach that a few Auburn trustees and athletic director were working to run out of town only to be replaced by an assistant in Petrino that had just left the school. Since it was Tommy Tuberville that brought Bobby Petrino to Auburn from the NFL which was a move that in FACT led to Petrino getting the Louisville head coaching job if it had been any of us sitting in Petrino’s shoes and someone from Auburn called us about the Auburn head coaching job before Tommy Tuberville had even been fired the very first thing we would have done is call Tuberville….the man that helped Petrino out….and tell Tubbs that he was being undermined by a few Bastards at Auburn.

Instead Bobby Petrino took that call and met secretly with those Auburn Bastards which of course was leaked out to radio show host Paul Finebaum from the pilot or pilots of the plane that took those Auburn Bastards to Louisville for that secret meeting with Petrino and as they say the rest is history with that history being…

Tommy Tuberville keeping his job at Auburn

Bobby Petrino bolting for the Atlanta Falcons after telling everyone that would listen he would not be leaving Louisville

Bobby Petrino leaving the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas job before his first season was even completed

Bobby Petrino having his dalliance and motorcycle crash at Arkansas and then lying about it and getting his ass rightly fired in Fayetteville

Bobby Petrino getting the Western Kentucky job which he held for one season

Bobby Petrino getting re-hired at Louisville 8 years after he told anyone that would listen he would never be leaving Louisville

Hell, you truly could not make the above up but then the ONLY reason Bobby Petrino was re-hired at Louisville is because he wins football games…at least on the college level…but now the Cardinals are off to an 0 – 3 start after losses to Auburn, Houston and Clemson and they have these games still left to be played:

Samford
At NC State
At Florida State
Boston College
At Wake Forest
Syracuse
Virginia
At Pitt
At Kentucky

Can Bobby Petrino and Louisville find at least 6 wins out of their remaining 9 games and avoid a losing season in 2015 which Petrino has only posted one time before on the college level?

That is a hard question to answer but we can easily recall how much Bobby Petrino loved rubbing it in the faces of Kentucky football fans how much better the Louisville football program was than Kentucky during Petrino’s first Louisville stint and here’s to hoping Louisville is 5 – 6 when they play Kentucky in Lexington on November 28 and the Kentucky Wildcats…

BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BOBBY PETRINO AND THE LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!

….and Petrino getting a taste of his own Bullshit not that Bobby Petrino would give two rips because something like this would happen —>

Petrino’s agent is on the phone and there is an AD somewhere in America willing to sell out his soul to win a few football games and he is interested in talking to Bobby Petrino!

Our guess….Bobby Petrino would sell-out Louisville again telling anyone that would listen he would never be leaving the school moments before he walked out the door!

No…we don’t HATE Bobby Petrino like we HATED or rather HATE Charlie Weis but for Damn sure Bobby Petrino has a lot of Bullshit to atone for and here’s to hoping that a Helluva lot of that atoning happens to Bobby Petrino in 2015 and if it does we will take Great Joy in lighting up Petrino’s Sorry Ass!

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29.  Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – Over the years a number of Coaches Hot Seat members have gotten to Boca Raton, Florida for business or vacation and we have met a number of the folks that support FAU athletics which in reality didn’t really exist when we first started going to Boca Raton years ago and it was the opinion of many here at Coaches Hot Seat which we expressed to our Boca Raton friends that Mike Leach who is now at Washington State but then was living Key West would have been an ideal head football coach at FAU. Mike Leach of course took the Washington State job which although a nice head coaching job doesn’t really fit “The Pirate” very well and our thinking was that Mike Leach would do well at FAU and then take one of the bigger jobs in the state of Florida like Miami, USF or UCF after few years at FAU but alas Leach went to the Northwest and FAU hired Charlie Partridge who although a nice guy and good football coach hasn’t done a Helluva lot in Boca Raton while posting records of…

Overall:  3 – 12

CUSA:  2 – 6

….in two years on the job at FAU.

Now with an 0 – 3 start to the 2015 season with losses to Tulsa, Miami and Buffalo (who has a first year head coach) FAU and Partridge face the daunting task of finding 6 wins in their last 9 games to get bowl eligible with this remaining schedule:

At Charlotte
Rice
Marshall
At UTEP
FIU
At Western Kentucky
Middle Tennessee
At Florida
At Old Dominion

Sorry…we just don’t see FAU winning 6 games in 2015 but then Charlie Partridge could prove us wrong now couldn’t he?

Coach ‘Em Up Charlie and if you don’t…..You Got It….Hot Seat!

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30.  Jeff Monken, Army – We don’t not like putting the head coaches of the US Military service academies on the Hot Seat but Jeff Monken in his second year at Army after a nice four-year run as the head coach at Georgia Southern has forced our hand by starting the 2015 season out at 0 – 3 in three closes losses to three pretty decent football teams but losses nonetheless.

Yes…playing winning football is not easy at a place like West Point but we are expecting a lot out of Jeff Monken at Army and now at 0 – 3 on the season with these games remaining to be played….

At Eastern Michigan
At Penn State
Duke
Bucknell
At Rice
At Air Force
Tulane
Rutgers
Navy

….it’s not going to be easy getting to 6 wins for Army this season but then it wasn’t easy on the US Army at the Battle of the Bulge either was it?

Go Army!

Win Some Damn Football Games!

But For Damn Sure Don’t Beat Navy!

Go Navy!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Wednesday, September 23, 2015 – Lewis Grizzard

 

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“I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. “

And

“I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. “

And

“Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

And

“It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. “

And

“Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it. “

And

“The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. “

And

“The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.”

And

“You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’ “

And

“The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it.”

And

“Being a newspaper columnist is like being married to a nymphomaniac. It’s great for the first two weeks.”

And

“Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.”

And

“I have three ex-wives. I can’t remember any of their names, so I just call ’em Plaintiff.”

And

“I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.”

And

“In the south there’s a difference between ‘Naked’ and ‘Nekkid.’ ‘Naked’ means you don’t have any clothes on. ‘Nekkid’ means you don’t have any clothes on … and you’re up to somethin’.”

And

“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”

And

“Real estate agents are God’s plague on mankind when locusts are out of season.”

And

“Women who drink white wine either want to get married, sell you a piece of real estate, or redecorate your house. Either way, it’s expensive.”

And

“Lewis’ advice to Atlantans in case of nuclear war: “If you live on the South side of Atlanta, get on I-75 and go south. If you live of the North side of Atlanta get on I-75 and go north. If you are a Yankee get on 285.” (Note to all you Yankees — I-285 is a continuous loop around the city)”

And

“I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.”

Wikipedia:  Lewis Grizzard

Impressions From Stanford – USC Game – Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash and Make Them Cry Like Babies!

 

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We wanted to hear from everyone that attended the Stanford – USC game on Saturday at the Coaches Hot Seat Monday Night Football get-together at the four Coaches Hot Seat Centrals last night and the consensus on Stanford football after much discussion is:

Stanford football was fired-up and ready to play USC on Saturday night and they were dead asleep when they ran onto the field against Northwestern in Week 1. No doubt, USC is an opponent that should get Stanford football players more fired-up than Northwestern, but the difference in play in the two games is striking….so striking in fact that there is now some real worry that the Cardinal will not show up on Friday night at Oregon State with the same passion and enthusiasm that they displayed against USC. Yes, that is REAL Damn worry and with a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Corvallis for the game on Friday night there is no doubt this is a critical game for Stanford head coach David Shaw who is….

10 – 7 in his last 17 games at Stanford

AND

6 – 4 in his last 10 Pac-12 games at Stanford

NCAA Football: Wake Forest at Stanford

Here is Stanford’s remaining schedule:

At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame

IF Stanford plays at or close to the same level of play and passion they played against USC there is No Damn Reason why the Cardinal loses more than…

3 Games in 2015

…but if the level of play and/or passion declines at all Stanford could easily lose 5 or more games in 2015 which would be nothing short of a…

Complete Freaking Disaster on The Farm!

With that let’s get to the….

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash and Make Them Cry Like Babies!

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11.  Ron Caragher, San Jose State – Ron Caragher took over a San Jose State team that had won 10 games in 2012 under Mike MacIntyre and Caragher has posted the following records now in his third season on the job:

Overall:  10 – 17

MWC:  7 – 10

Sorry Ron, the above win/loss records do not feed the Bulldog…even at San Jose State…and it’s either put-up or shut-up the rest of the 2015 season and luckily for Ron and the Spartans they have three very Damn winnable games coming up against…

Fresno State
At Auburn
At UNLV

Hell, we see no reason why San Jose State isn’t…

4 – 2

…when they play San Diego State on October 17!

Coach ‘em up Ron!

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12.  Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt got its first win of the 2015 season for head coach Derek Mason on Saturday over Austin Peay and that runs Mason’s records to the following in his second year on the job:

Overall:  4 – 11

SEC:  0 – 9

We have been trying for weeks to get something out of one of our long-time doctor friends who got his medical degree from Vanderbilt on what Derek Mason needs to do in 2015 to return as the head coach of the Commodores next season and finally the Doc took some time from his busy schedule saving folks lives to tell us…

“Who is Derek Mason? Hell, when did James Franklin leave Vandy? Just kidding boys! Thinking Mason needs 4 wins this season and which means 2 wins in SEC play assuming Vandy beats Middle Tennessee and loses to Houston. Hey, it’s not a big goal but remember boys….this is Vandy football we are talking about here!”

So Derek Mason needs to find three more wins out of the below games to improve on his 3 – 9 record in 2014 to return as the head coach of Vandy in 2016…..Hmmmm…..

At Ole Miss
At Middle Tennessee
At South Carolina
Missouri
At Houston
At Florida
Kentucky
Texas A&M
At Tennessee

Good Luck with that Derek Mason!

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13.  Butch Jones, Tennessee – For all the bluster of Butch Jones since he arrived in Knoxville in early 2013 in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disasters that were the hirings of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley the TRUTH is that Butch Jones has now coached 28 games at Tennessee and has posted a record of…

14 – 14

….and Derek Dooley’s record after 28 games in the books coaching the Vols was…

13 – 15

….which makes this Saturday’s game at Florida the BIGGEST game of Butch Jones coaching career because a loss in this spot and the now Run Out of Knoxville on a Rail Derek Dooley and Butch Jones will stand at the same exact spot record wise after 29 games in the books…

14 – 15!

Let’s take a look at the rest of Tennessee’s schedule with the Vols now sitting at 2 – 1:

At Florida
Arkansas
Georgia
At Alabama
At Kentucky
South Carolina
North Texas
At Missouri
Vanderbilt

In 2014 Tennessee finished the regular season at 6 – 6 and looking over the above remaining games we only see two SURE WINS…North Texas and Vanderbilt….so can Butch Jones and the Vols who threw away a great opportunity to be on an amazing roll if they had not given away the Oklahoma game find at least 6 more wins to get to 8 wins total in 2015 which we believe is the win number Butch Jones MUST hit if he doesn’t want 2015 to be considered…

A Complete and Total Failure?

Don’t know the answer to that question but Butch Jones better Damn find 6 more wins starting with a win over the Florida Gators in Gainesville on Saturday or the HEAT on Butch Jones’ ass come next Monday will rival the HEAT that was on Derek Dooley’s ass just a few years ago!

14.  Trent Miles, Georgia State – On Saturday Georgia State played the Oregon Ducks in Autzen…final score…

Oregon – 61
Georgia State – 28

…and that now runs Trent Miles win/loss records at Georgia State in his third year on the job to…

Overall:  2 – 25

Sun Belt:  1 – 15

Got a Roaring Hot Seat with a side of butter? Trent Miles does and that butter must be scolding!

15.  Paul Petrino, Idaho – Since Paul Petrino now has THREE wins in THREE seasons coaching the Idaho Vandals ANY win is a cause for celebration and on Saturday Idaho beat Wofford 41 – 38 which runs Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho to…

3 – 23

Up next for Idaho which only beat Wofford by THREE points…

Georgia Southern

Good Luck with that Paul Petrino and Oh Yea…Your Ass Is Still On the Hot Seat even with that MIGHTY THREE point win over Wofford!

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16.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson’s Indiana team got their MUST WIN over Western Kentucky on Saturday to run the Hoosiers record to…

3 – 0

….in 2015 and now only Wake Forest stands in the way of Indiana entering Big Ten play undefeated which is against Ohio State on October 3.

Uh….Oh….this Wake Forest game is the exact kind of spot where Indiana under Kevin Wilson has faltered in the past and why Wilson needs to make sure his Hoosiers are focused as they travel down to North Carolina to take on Wake.

There is only ONE way for Kevin Wilson to get off the Hot Seat…

Get his Hoosiers to 6 wins in 2015 and a win over Wake Forest on Saturday will go a long way in accomplishing that goal!

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17.  Mike Riley, Nebraska – Nebraska played well enough to be 3 – 0 right now instead of 1 – 2 after close losses to BYU and Nebraska which reminds us of something one of our football coaches from a long time ago used to say when people told him that it was too bad that his team lost a close game:

“It never should have been a close game in the first place!”

We are talking about Nebraska here which hasn’t won less than NINE games since the 2007 season and with Cornhuskers now at 1 – 2 with the below games remaining how many games can Mike Riley and Nebraska win in 2015?

Southern Miss
At Illinois
Wisconsin
At Minnesota
Northwestern
At Purdue
Michigan State
At Rutgers
Iowa

Why do we think that Nebraska is going to have a tough time getting to 8 wins in 2015?

Geez….this could be a long football season in Lincoln for Mike Riley!

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18.  Norm Chow, Hawaii – Hawaii beat UC Davis on Saturday night to move to 2 – 1 on the season which means about as much as the wave that just hit the beach at Waikiki and now it’s back to the REAL world for the Warriors as they travel in back-to-back weeks to play…

At Wisconsin
At Boise State

Good Luck with that Norm!

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19.  Steve Sarkisian, USC – The most interesting comment made by a Coaches Hot Seat member made after seeing Stanford maul USC at the LA Coliseum on Saturday night was…

“This USC team looks like Sark’s Washington teams with just more talent.”

Our problem with Pat Haden hiring Steve Sarkisian as the head coach at USC was that Sark’s teams at Washington were often just “OK” and that if Sarkisian was going to take USC back to the heights seen during the Pete Carroll era with the Trojans then “something” was going to have to be added to Sark’s coaching repertoire and so far in Sark’s second season at USC…

We just don’t see that “something” yet.

Since many of us here at Coaches Hot Seat have been watching USC football for close to 40 years now our standards for USC and thus Steve Sarkisian are Very Damn High and with the loss to Stanford the Trojans dropped to 2 – 1 on the season with these games remaining to be played:

At Arizona State
Washington
At Notre Dame
Utah
At California
Arizona
At Colorado
Oregon
UCLA

Can USC and more importantly Steve Sarkisian top their win total of EIGHT games in 2014?

Maybe….Maybe Not…which is why things are starting to heat up for Steve Sarkisian at USC who has Very Damn Little margin for error on or off the field!

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20.  Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner and FIU got their CUPCAKE win over NC Central on Saturday to move to 2 – 1 on the season but it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a trip to play at La. Tech which took Kansas State to overtime on Saturday.

Got 2 – 2 Ron Turner and FIU?

You are about to have it and for Damn sure Ron your ass is on the Hot Seat!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!

Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Tuesday, September 22, 2015 – Arthur Schopenhauer

 

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“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone.”

And

“A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.”

And

“A man’s face as a rule says more, and more interesting things, than his mouth, for it is a compendium of everything his mouth will ever say, in that it is the monogram of all this man’s thoughts and aspirations.”

And

“All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

And

“Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other.”

And

“Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.”

And

“Honor means that a man is not exceptional; fame, that he is. Fame is something which must be won; honor, only something which must not be lost.”

And

“If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the first sight of a letter from him.”

And

It is with trifles, and when he is off guard, that a man best reveals his character.

And

“Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.”

And

“Money is human happiness in the abstract; he, then, who is no longer capable of enjoying human happiness in the concrete devotes himself utterly to money.”

And

“Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.”

And

“The longer a man’s fame is likely to last, the longer it will be in coming.”

And

“The man never feels the want of what it never occurs to him to ask for.”

And

“The wise have always said the same things, and fools, who are the majority have always done just the opposite.”

And

“We can come to look upon the deaths of our enemies with as much regret as we feel for those of our friends, namely, when we miss their existence as witnesses to our success.”

And

“Wealth is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become; and the same is true of fame.”

And

“It is the courage to make a clean breast of it in the face of every question that makes the philosopher. He must be like Sophocles’ Oedipus, who, seeking enlightenment concerning his terrible fate, pursues his indefatigable inquiry even though he divines that appalling horror awaits him in the answer. But most of us carry with us the Jocasta in our hearts, who begs Oedipus, for God’s sake, not to inquire further.”

And

“The bad thing about all religions is that, instead of being able to confess their allegorical nature, they have to conceal it; accordingly, they parade their doctrines in all seriousness as true sensu proprio, and as absurdities form an essential part of these doctrines we have the great mischief of a continual fraud. Nay, what is worse, the day arrives when they are no longer true sensu proprio, and then there is an end of them; so that, in that respect, it would be better to admit their allegorical nature at once. But the difficulty is to teach the multitude that something can be both true and untrue at the same time. Since all religions are in a greater or less degree of this nature, we must recognise the fact that mankind cannot get on without a certain amount of absurdity, that absurdity is an element in its existence, and illusion indispensable; as indeed other aspects of life testify.”

And

“Compassion is the basis of all morality.”

And

“Life is short and truth works far and lives long: let us speak the truth.”

And

“The effect of music is so very much more powerful and penetrating than is that of the other arts, for these others speak only of the shadow, but music of the essence.”

And

“In early youth, as we contemplate our coming life, we are like children in a theatre before the curtain is raised, sitting there in high spirits and eagerly waiting for the play to begin.”

And

“Do not shorten the morning by getting up late, or waste it in unworthy occupations or in talk; look upon it as the quintessence of life, as to a certain extent sacred. Evening is like old age: we are languid, talkative, silly. Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death.”

And

“To free a man from error does not mean to take something from him, but to give him something.”

Wikipedia:  Arthur Schopenhauer

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches – These Head Coaches Don’t Like To See the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

 

Amazingly Week 3 of the college football season is already in the books and the HEAT is being turned-up on college head coaches who have stumbled out of the gate or in some cases NEVER got out of the gate and with that REALITY let’s get to the…

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 1 – 10 Hot Seat Coaches

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

These head coaches don’t like to see the Man in Black but Give ‘em Hell anyway Johnny Cash!

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1.  Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – With the Iowa State loss to Toledo on Saturday considering this stat for a second….

In Paul Rhoads last 30 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

7 – 23

In Paul Rhoads last 25 Big 12 games at Iowa State he has posted a record of:

4 – 21

Yep, that will land your ass on the No. 1 Hot Seat in the land and after a 1 – 2 start to the 2015 season the Cyclones get a week off before playing Kansas at home on October 3.

Iowa State can beat this Kansas team in the wake of the Complete Freaking Disaster left by that Dumbass Charlie Weis…right?

We sure the Hell hope so but how will Iowa State fare in its other 8 Big 12 conference games after they beat Kansas on October 3?

Hell if we know, but it looks like barring a Miracle in Corn Country Iowa State will be looking for a new head football coach come December!

2.  Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Doug Martin is in his third season at New Mexico State and with the Aggies overtime loss to UTEP on Saturday Martin has posted a record in three seasons at NMSU of….

4 – 23

Enough said on Doug Martin’s Hot Seat situation at New Mexico State!

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3.  Darrell Hazell, Purdue – We here at Coaches Hot Seat fully expected Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers to beat Virginia Tech at home on Saturday but instead the Hokies delivered a 51 – 24 beatdown of Purdue and now the 2015 season could turn into a Complete Freaking Disaster for Hazell with a very good Bowling Green team coming to town this coming Saturday.

A loss to Bowling Green and Purdue will start the season at…

1 – 3

…with 8 Big Ten games left to be played starting with a game at Michigan State on October 3 and for the life of us we believe if you can’t beat Virginia Tech or Bowling Green how in the Hell will Purdue win another game this season!

Oh, Darrell Hazell’s win/loss records in his third season at Purdue:

Overall:  5 – 22

Big Ten:  1 – 15

That’s BAD with a capital B!

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4.  Mike London, Virginia – After a few tense moments Mike London’s Virginia football team got its first win of the season over William & Mary on Saturday and now it’s back to Big Boy football in Week 4 with a game on Friday night against Boise State.

Now in his SIXTH season at Virginia Mike London has win/loss records on the board of…

Overall:  24 – 40

ACC:  11 – 29

…with ONE winning season out of FIVE and if UVA is going to post a winning season in 2015 we would recommend that they beat Boise State on Friday night!

By comparison the Virginia head coach that Mike London replaced and who was run out of Charlottesville on a rail…

Al Groh

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…coached at UVA for NINE seasons posting FIVE winning seasons.

Yep…that reality will land your ass on the Hot Seat 100% of the time!

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5.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few years ago a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with one of their college physics professors and one asked the professor about the following Albert Einstein quote:

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CHS Member: “John…what did Einstein mean when he said…

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

College Physics Professor: “Ahhh…Albert…a very smart one he was. There is a scientific answer to what Einstein meant when he said, “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one,” but remembering you boys’ grades in my class I will give you the layman’s answer!

Loud laughter at the table!

College Physics Professor: “What Einstein meant was that reality is nothing more and nothing less than how each of our brains perceives the world and the perceived reality for one person is often very different than the reality for almost everyone else on the Earth and thus one reality is very hard to define. In the end reality is just the perception created by the neurons firing off in each of our brains which human beings will naturally try to order towards their own individual particular world view.”

CHS Member: “So what you are saying is that reality…meaning a one reality for everyone no more exists than the Man on the Moon and that reality is different for each person based upon how their individual brain perceives the world?”

College Physics Professor: “Precisely, but then human beings because of their highly evolved brains look at the world around them and naturally want to order it, to organize it, to classify it, to put people and ideas into certain boxes, because that is what homo sapiens were forced to do over millions of years of evolution to survive and then thrive and with that you now not only understand what Einstein was saying but you can also grasp why perception plays such a huge role in daily human life. In the end we are what we perceive of the world, of other people, and of ourselves.”

Getting back to the Complete Freaking Disaster that is Bret Bielema’s REALITY right now after the Razorbacks loss to Texas Tech on Saturday the PERCEPTION at the end of the 2014 season was that Arkansas made some HUGE strides….but did they in FACT?

Let’s go Joe Friday and get to the FACTS on the State of Arkansas Football…Past…Present…and Future:

After a loss to Georgia on October 18, 2014 the Arkansas record stood at…

3 – 4

….and then the Razorbacks under Bret Bielema finished the season by doing this:

Beating UAB = No Big Whoop!

Losing to Mississippi State = Not Surprising

Beating a Collapsing LSU Team = No Big Whoop!

Beating a Demoralized Ole Miss Team =No Big Whoop!

Losing to Missouri = Not Surprising

Beating a Mediocre Texas Team in Bowl Game = No Big Whoop!

So the so-called BIG ending to the Razorbacks 2014 was in REALITY…

No Big Whoop!

…but the PERCEPTION was that Bret Bielema had “turned things around” at Arkansas when in REALITY nothing could be farther from the truth!

Let’s move ahead to the 2015 season for Arkansas which has started this way following an off-season of Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long telling anyone that would listen that Bielema was the second-coming of Paul “Bear” Bryant and that Ohio State was actually playing in something akin to the MAC instead of the Big Ten….in our opinion of course….

Beat UTEP = No Big Whoop!

Lost to Toledo = Hmmmm….Surprising….but NOT REALLY!

Lost to Texas Tech = Hmmmm…Even More Surprising…but NOT REALLY!

Oh, Bret Bielema’s record since supposedly things “turned around” at Arkansas after the loss to Georgia last season:

5 – 4

So the PERCEPTION until Toledo whipped Arkansas was that the Razorbacks were….BACK.…but the REALITY which is just now sinking into the heads of Arkansas fans who are thinking the Pig Farmer from Iowa might have pulled a fast one on them in the last year is that…

Arkansas is 1 – 2 and they play Texas A&M on Saturday in Dallas and the Aggies are….

6 Point Favorites!

Guess what?

If Arkansas loses to Texas A&M on Saturday with games at Tennessee and at Alabama on deck the REALITY is the Razorbacks could be sitting at…

1 – 5

….when Auburn comes to Fayetteville on October 24 in what could be the….

Ultimate Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up with the Losing Coach being run out of town on the back of a hog!

Here’s the REALITY for Bret Bielema based upon the building PERCEPTION in Arkansas which we confirmed by talking to an Arkansas-alum friend of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas who could buy-and-sell everyone in the Fayetteville – Bentonville area except for the Walton clan and that REALITY is…

“If this season implodes both Bielema and AD Jeff Long might find themselves lucky to shoveling shit in West Texas as you boys like to say from time to time!”

Yep…that is the REALITY NOW in Arkansas folks!

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On another note per our agreement with Texas Tech head coach Kliff Kingsbury since the Red Raiders beat the Razorbacks we will no longer be calling Coach Kingsbury….

“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _”

Nice win there in Fayetteville Kliff!

6.  Willie Taggart, South Florida – With the South Florida loss to Maryland on Saturday the Bulls dropped to…

1 – 2

…on the season and things don’t get any easier for Willie Taggart and his football team with this upcoming schedule:

Memphis
Syracuse
At UConn
SMU
At Navy
At East Carolina
Temple
Cincinnati
At UCF

Memo to Willie Taggart:  IF your South Florida team plays the rest of the season the way it has played its first three games in 2015…

You might not win another game until you play hapless UCF on November 26 and Hell Furman beat UCF so go ahead and put that win over the Black Knights on the board!

Get off your ass Willie Taggart! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat

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7.  Gus Malzahn, Auburn – At the tail-end of the 2014 college football season we ran into an “old and former defensive coordinator in the SEC” at a restaurant in Atlanta and he said to us when the Auburn football program came up:

“The Gus Malzahn experiment in major college football is about to come to an end because what he and other coaches like Chip Kelly have been doing just cannot work unless they have an elite quarterback and neither Malzahn nor Kelly have that right now nor more than likely will they have that next season.”

We talked about the above statement for a few hours in the lobby of an Atlanta hotel and came to agreement on the idea that Malzahn and Kelly’s offenses depended on an elite quarterback who could make instant decisions on the fly but Auburn had Jeremy Johnson ready to play in 2015 and the Eagles had Nick Foles who wasn’t doing to bad at quarterback for the Eagles last season.

Guess what?

Jeremy Johnson is a Total Bust and Nick Foles is playing for the St. Louis Rams who was replaced by Sam Bradford who would be lucky to be a water boy on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about playing QB and right now the…

Philadelphia Eagles

AND

Auburn Tigers

….are both a Complete Freaking Disaster!

Oh…another thing…neither the Philadelphia Eagles nor the Auburn Tigers are playing ANY defense so put that REALITY on top of everything else and truly….

Gus Malzahn is facing nothing short of what Gene Chizik faced in 2012 when Auburn went 3 – 9 and 0 – 8 in SEC play and was rightly run out of Auburn on a rail!

Let’s look at the rest of Auburn’s schedule with the Tigers now at 1 – 2 on the season realizing that…

Gus Malzahn is 2 – 6 in his last 8 games at Auburn

Guz Malzahn is 10 – 6 in his last 16 games at Auburn

Mississippi State
San Jose State
At Kentucky
At Arkansas
Ole Miss
At Texas A&M
Georgia
Idaho
Alabama

In our opinion if Auburn plays like they did against LSU the Tigers will be lucky to win…

3 Games in 2015

ANY SEC Games in 2015

What if Auburn finished at…

3 – 9 Overall

0 – 8 in the SEC

…in 2015 would Gus Malzahn be sent packing as Gene Chizik was sent packing only two seasons ago with the same record after winning a National Championship considering Malzahn didn’t win a National Title two seasons ago when he had the chance?

What’s Good for the Chizik is Good for the Malzahn….right?

RIGHT!

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Who would Auburn AD Jay Jacobs hire to replace the run out of Auburn Gus Malzahn to coach the Tigers into the future?

Well, based upon the amount of money Auburn has been spending to build a strong football program on The Plains does anyone doubt that Jacobs would fly down to Tallahassee and offer Jimbo Fisher $8 Million A Year…”Nick Saban Money”….to be the next head football coach at Auburn?

Would Jimbo Fisher accept an offer to become the Auburn head coach at $8 Million A Year?

Does it get HOT on The Plains of southwest Alabama in the Summer?

That would be a BIG YES!

Memo to Gus Malzahn:  Nice try against LSU to get the Auburn offense going with Jeremy Johnson but now Gus….Johnson would be lucky to be running the scout team for the Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Team forget about being in the 1 – 5 QB slots so why in the Hell is he the starting QB at Auburn? Oh, what’s behind Johnson is even worse? OK…that makes sense!

Memo No. 2 to Gus Malzahn:  If you lose to Mississippi State on Saturday here is how you will know on whether to contact a Realtor or not to put your house on the market:

If Auburn AD Jay Jacobs starts saying things like…

“I am becoming very concerned in our fundamental approach to the game.”

…put the house on the market immediately!

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8.  Charlie Strong, Texas – The most amazing thing about the Texas loss to California on Saturday wasn’t the missed extra point at the end of the game BUT that the Texas Longhorns…

YES the Freaking Texas Longhorns!

…had to come storming back to almost tie a team in the California Bears that over the past THREE football seasons had won NINE football games TOTAL!

That is the REALITY of how far the Texas football program has fallen since Mack Brown lost to Alabama in the 2009 – 2010 Bogus BCS National Title Game!

Since that loss to Alabama in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in January 2010 Texas has posted a combined record under Mack Brown and Charlie Strong of….

37 – 30!

This is the Texas Longhorns we are talking about here and although we will readily admit there is No Joy in Coaches Hot Seat-Ville putting Charlie Strong on the Hot Seat who two Coaches Hot Seat members first met in the early 1990s when Charlie was on Steve Spurrier’s staff at Florida the TRUTH is Texas football right now is very simply…

A Complete Freaking Disaster

…and the sad REALITY is that if Oliver Luck had been the AD at Texas in 2013 instead of the Sorry Excuse for a Human Being Steve Patterson that right now…in our opinion….the head coach of the Texas Longhorns would be none other than…

Nick Saban

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Guess what Texas fans….and this is just our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat and is the FIRM opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Tuscaloosa for the Ole Miss – Alabama game on Saturday and who are still in Tuscaloosa on this early Monday morning…

If Texas is looking for a new head football coach in December Nick Saban would be Very Damn Interested in that job

….because unlike Alabama which is rebuilding job that is PAST DONE Texas is a Complete Freaking Disaster that needs a HERO to save it and again our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat:

Nick Saban has ONE more Act in his life on this Earth which would be capped by winning….

National Titles at LSU, Alabama and Texas!

You heard it here first!

As for Charlie Strong whose Texas team is now at 1 – 2 on the season Big 12 Conference play begins this Saturday against Oklahoma State in Austin and to that we can only say…

Good Luck Charlie!

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9.  George O’Leary, UCF – The UCF loss to Furman on Saturday confirmed of what we saw of UCF when they played Stanford in Week 2…

UCF is average at best and hardly coached team at worst

….and we agree completely with the following from Victory Way: UCF Blog for the UCF Fans…

Time for George to go, Harry P. Nolan, Victory Way

Up next for the 0 – 3 UCF which is now hardly coached by George O’Leary in our opinion…

At South Carolina

….in a Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Head Coaching Match-Up against the Ole’ Ball Coach!

Speaking of the Ole’ Ball Coach!

ALA @ USC

10.  Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – In the spring of this year a few Coaches Hot Seat members were up in South Carolina playing golf in the Greenville area and ran into some South Carolina Gamecock fans who were asked about the status of Steve Spurrier who will be FOREVER be known at Coaches Hot Seat as the…

Ole’ Ball Coach

…and one of those South Carolina fans said the following:

“I heard that Spurrier wanted to retire at the end of last season but that some folks got to him about all the other coaches that would be out of job if he retired and the Steve reluctantly decided to come back and coach in 2015 and see how things would turn out.”

Sorry….head coaches should not be staying in jobs to keep their assistant coaches and especially their sons employed and no matter what Steve Spurrier has done at South Carolina in the past in case the folks in South Carolina don’t know it the Gamecocks head coaching job is not something akin to the modern day Roman Empire or the USSR where the leaders get to hang around for as long as they want but instead South Carolina is in America and in America…

When you quit performing in your job…you get fired!

That’s how it is for most hard-working Americans making $50,000 or less a year and for Damn sure that is how it should be for football coaches making Millions of Dollars a year!

Steve Spurrier has no Damn “right” to stay as the head coach at South Carolina for as long as he wants but instead the people paying the bills….

The alums, boosters and fans of South Carolina

…will decide when Steve Spurrier will no longer be the head coach at USC unless of course the Ole’ Ball Coach decides first which based upon South Carolina’s remaining games in 2015 as detailed below will be the way this Shakespearean tragedy in Columbia will end later this year:

UCF
At Missouri
LSU
Vanderbilt
At Texas A&M
At Tennessee
Florida
The Citadel
Clemson

Anyone else thinking that the Ole’ Ball Coach and South Carolina will…

Win maybe….3 more games this season….before they play Clemson at home on November 28 in what will more than likely be the last game with the Ole’ Ball Coach on the sideline in his legendary playing and coaching career?

Anyone else thinking South Carolina will beat Clemson and send Steve Spurrier out a winner and that the next day Steve will be playing golf in Florida?

Thought so!

What is that monologue from William Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act Two – Scene Seven, that for some reason fits in this spot when considering the playing and coaching career of the Great Steve Spurrier? Oh…here it is:

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then, the whining school-boy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then, a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then, the justice,
In fair round belly, with a good capon lined,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

ShakespeareSevenAges

Thank You Coach Spurrier…now have a Helluva Fun time in these last NINE football games Ole’ Ball Coach!

Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 11 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis coming soon!

Documentary – In Search of Shakespeare 1: A Time of Revolution from technology freak on Vimeo.