Post Week 15 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
These Hot Seat Coaches Are Desperate NOT To Hear the TRUTH Johnny Cash BUT Give It To Them Anyways!
Top 20 Head Coaches on the Post Week 15 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
1. Will Muschamp, Florida – Luke 12:48 in the King James Bible tell us that…
“For unto whomever much is given, of him shall be much required”
….and Will Muschamp was sure the Hell given a lot when he took over the Florida football program three years ago especially when one considers that in the 10 Previous Seasons of Florida Football under Urban Meyer, Ron Zook and Steve Spurrier the Florida Gators won…
….for an average of…..
9.8 Wins A Season
…..and that even includes the disastrous Ron Zook era in Gainesville who was hired by….Florida AD Jeremy Foley!
How many wins a season is Will Muschamp averaging after three seasons on the job?
7.33 Wins A Season!
Oh, by the way Urban Meyer and Steve Spurrier combined won…
….at Florida over 18 seasons which is an average of…
10.39 Wins A Season!
“For unto whomsever much is given, of him shall be much required”
By any measure or standard we can think of Will Muschamp has fallen far short of the expectations that we and all Gator fans we know have for Florida Football and thus why for good Damn reason Will Muschamp is now sitting on the…
Hottest Seat in College Football!
Looking ahead to 2014 below is Florida’s schedule next season which is FILLED with Cupcakes which Florida AD Jeremy Foley loves because in our opinion Jeremy Foley doesn’t have the GUTS to schedule football games for the Gators against REAL football teams….
At Florida State
Idaho, Eastern Michigan and Eastern Kentucky out-of-conference Jeremy?
What kind of Moron would buy Florida Football seasons tickets in 2014?
Mister Rogers could win 8 Games coaching Florida Football in 2014 so how many games will Will Muschamp win?
Anything less than 9 Wins in 2014 by the Florida Gators and…
Will Muschamp AND Jeremy Foley
….both need to be run out of Gainesville….in our opinion of course!
Oh, that’s right, it seems that this is the time of the year when everyone in the news media kisses Will Muschamp and Jeremy Foley’s precious asses and makes excuses for why…
Pitiful, Poor Will Muschamp
….can’t live up to the “Evil Expectations” of those “Crazy Florida Fans” to which we have to call BULLSHIT ON!
Any of those MORONS running around Tallahassee last week with a letter of Jameis Winston’s name on their chest could win 8 Games A Year at Florida so please can someone explain to us why…
Will Muschamp is averaging 7.33 Wins A Season coaching the Florida Gators?
Why did it get so Damn quiet all of the sudden?
2. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – We are a big believer in trends here at Coaches Hot Seat and here is the three-year trend for Dana Holgorsen at West Virginia:
2011: 10 – 3
2012: 7 – 6
2013: 4 – 8
Oh, that’s a Very Bad Damn Trend that Dana Holgorsen has going there at WVU BUT let’s go back a little further and see what Holgorsen took over at West Virginia to see if Dana has any legitimate excuse for why HIS Mountaineers football program is now going in the toilet:
Rich Rodriguez, West Virginia
2005: 11 – 1
2006: 11 – 2
2007: 10 – 2
Bill Stewart, West Virginia
2008: 9 – 4
2009: 9 – 4
2010: 9 – 4
Damn! Now we are not professional statisticians but it sure the Hell seems like to us that Dana Holgorsen took over a…
Damn Strong West Virginia Football Program in 2011
….and that Damn Strong West Virginia Football Program is now going in the toilet!
Why is that….the toilet thing that is?
We have an opinion on that but we are not going to write our opinion on why we think the West Virginia football program is going in the toilet in this blog BUT we will let our opinion be known to the “appropriate folks” and they can do what they want with our opinion on why the West Virginia football program is now going in the toilet.
3. Charlie Weis, Kansas – A member of Coaches Hot Seat observed in the last week about Kansas football:
“Kansas has low expectations for its football program and Charlie Weis can’t even meet those low expectations!”
Charlie Weis’s win/loss records in two seasons at Kansas are…
Overall: 4 – 20
Big 12: 1 – 17
…..and we would call that Jed Clampett “Pitiful….Just Pitiful” but that would do a disservice to all the people out there that are…
….and would take offense to being compared to Charlie Weis at Kansas!
Here is the Kansas 2014 Football Schedule:
SE Missouri State
At West Virginia
At Texas Tech
At Kansas State
The Coaches Hot Seat Prediction for Kansas in 2014:
Overall: 2 – 10
Big 12: 0 – 9
Kansas Football = A Place of Very Damn Low Expectations That Can’t Even Be Met!
4. Ron Turner, Florida International – Ron Turner’s overall head coaching record over 10 seasons at San Jose State, Illinois and Florida International is…
43 – 72 (.374)
…and after Turner posted a 1 – 11 record in his first season at FIU we here at Coaches Hot Seat cannot help but wonder:
How in the Hell is Ron Turner still the head football coach at FIU?
Answer that baffling question and you might have a shot at figuring out the Bermuda Triangle!
5. Mike London, Virginia – Forgive us for being slow on the uptake here at Coaches Hot Seat but we are all still trying to figure out what Daily Press columnist David Teel was trying to say in his latest on Virginia head coach Mike London which has so much double-speak in it we are wondering if Teel is working on a sequel to George Orwell’s 1984!
Virginia’s football decline rooted in coaching but not irreversible, David Teel, Daily Press
David Teel’s column starts out making sense….
“The shortcomings of fourth-year head coach Mike London and his assistants, current and former, were obvious throughout the just-completed 2-10 season. They have yet to recruit or develop the talent needed to compete in the ACC, let alone nationally.
Similar failings cost London’s predecessor, Al Groh, his job in 2009, and many Cavaliers fans want London fired, too. But athletic director Craig Littlepage says London will return next season, despite records — 18-31 overall, 8-24 in conference — that are the ACC’s worst over the last four years.
Littlepage says he believes in London and the coaching staff that was overhauled in January. He advises patience and cites incoming recruits.
Given the evidence available to those of us on the outside, I disagree. Reeling from its first winless conference season since 1981, Virginia needs a proven program builder as soon as possible, lest it fall even further behind.”
OK….David Teel believes Virginia Football needs a “proven program builder as soon as possible”……right?
BUT, nowhere in the rest of the column do we see David Teel call for Virginia to fire Mike London and the column actually finishes with….
“London has but one more season to produce results that affirm his boss’ faith.”
So which is it…
Does Virginia need a “proven program builder as soon as possible”
Should Mike London get “one more season to produce results that affirm his boss’ faith.”
…because Mike London is NOT a “proven program builder” in our opinion and we would argue that London has taken the Virginia Football program…
Backwards Several Steps
….from the very mediocre Al Groh years in Charlottesville!
Consider this for a moment…
Al Groh coached Virginia for 9 seasons and during that time Groh won…
36 ACC Conference Games
…which is an average of…
4 ACC Conference Wins A Year (ACC Plays 8 Conference Games)
….and in four seasons on the job Mike London has won..
8 ACC Conference Games
…..which is an average of…
2 ACC Conference Wins A Year!
Correct us if we are wrong BUT that is a…
50 Percent Decline
….in ACC Conference Wins in the last four seasons at Virginia and if that doesn’t tell everyone the current state of Virginia football then nothing will.
Mike London is a nice fellow but if we took over the Virginia athletic department tomorrow we would call Mike into our office and tell him that we appreciated his efforts but that UVA football was moving in a different direction and then we would go hire as David Teel suggests a…
“Proven Program Builder”
….and it just so happens that Virginia played a team in 2013 that has a “Proven Program Builder” as its head coach who may be moving up to a bigger-and-better job in the coming weeks.
6. Bo Pelini, Nebraska – We love college football history here at Coaches Hot Seat and while checking-out the coaching records of recent Nebraska head coaches we were reminded of the incredible run that Coach Tom Osborne had in his tenure at Nebraska but especially over his last four seasons coaching the Cornhuskers. Check this out:
Tom Osborne, Nebraska
1994: 13 – 0 – National Champions
1995: 12 – 0 – National Champions
1996: 11 – 2
1997: 13 – 0 – National Champions
Here’s another thing we were reminded of looking at the records of the Nebraska head coaches between Tom Osborne and Bo Pelini who were Frank Solich and Bill Callahan:
Did you know that Nebraska has not won a Conference Championship since 1999?
That is 14 Seasons that Nebraska has gone without winning a Conference Championship!
Oh, and of course, in 6 Seasons at Nebraska Bo Pelini has won…
ZERO Conference Championships
….which should tell everyone how far Nebraska Football has fallen especially when one realizes that…
Nebraska Football has lost 4 or more games in 10 Straight Seasons!
Oh how the Mighty Nebraska Cornhuskers have fallen but then in this Age of Mediocrity when any random MORON off the street could coach a team to a bowl game does it really matter that Nebraska Football is now…
7. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – We called one of our western Arkansas-alum buddies on Sunday evening to get a gauge on what the sentiment was on Bret Bielema in the Great State of Arkansas and the following is a direct quote:
“If Bielema doesn’t start winning some games next season we are going to run his fast ass right out of here and back to wherever the Hell he came from….”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Wisconsin, he came from Wisconsin…but he grew up in Iowa.”
…..Wisconsin, Iowa, Hell, it doesn’t matter because we are going to run his fat ass out of Arkansas for sure if things don’t get a Helluva lot better in ’14!”
Coaches Hot Seat: “What about Jeff Long?”
Arkansas-Alum Friend: “Who?”
Coaches Hot Seat: “You know…the Arkansas AD….the guy that fired Petrino after his motorcycle accident with the blonde.”
Arkansas-Alum Friend: “Oh, that Sorry Bastard….we are going to run his ass out of Arkansas as well….where is he from by the way?”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Jeff is from Ohio.”
Arkansas-Alum Friend: “Another Damn Yankee? Hell, if Bielema can’t cut it next season will have to run both of those Yankees out of Arkansas back north of the Mason-Dixon Line and see if we can find a couple of good Southern Boys to take over things. What do you know about Dabo Swinney?”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Enough to know he isn’t pulling a Danny Ford and taking the Arkansas job!”
Arkansas-Alum Friend: “What about Rich Rodriguez?”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Well, now, Arkansas looks a Helluva lot more like West Virginia than Tucson but then playing in the SEC West is not an easy task to take on even if there are good looking blondes running around the Arkansas athletic department!”
Arkansas-Alum Friend: “Oh, Hell, why don’t we just fire Bielema and Long and hire back Bobby Petrino!”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Now you’re talking!”
Will Bret Bielema be the Arkansas head football coach a year from today?
Considering the Arkansas 2014 Football Schedule…
At Texas Tech
At Mississippi State
….we would have to answer that question with…
NO…Bret Bielema will NOT be the Arkansas head coach on the Monday after the 2014 SEC Championship Game which is just our opinion by the way.
8. Rich Ellerson, Army – 2013 is Rich Ellerson’s fifth season coaching Army football and Ellerson only has…
1 Winning Season
….on the board and…
NO Wins Over Navy
….and in every instance we can imagine that is the kind of record that will get your rear-end fired at Army so this game against Navy on Saturday is….
Kind of Very Damn Important
….for Rich Ellerson’s future at West Point!
Coach Hard Rich Ellerson but GO NAVY!
9. Charley Molnar, Massachusetts – Two Wins in Two Seasons on the board for Charley Molnar at UMass is nothing to write home about but Two Wins in Two Seasons at UMass might keep Charley Molnar employed for another season which we are not even going to attempt to explain since like most other things in the Great but Very Damn Liberal State of Massachusetts….
We Don’t Understand Them!
10. Norm Chow, Hawaii – In two seasons at Hawaii head coach Norm Chow has put up win/loss records of…
Overall: 4 – 20
MWC: 1 – 15
….and God Bless Hawaii Football if the fans of Hawaii Football believe 4 Wins in Two Seasons is good enough for your football team!
Oh, by the way in the last decade before Norm Chow took over the Warriors under the two previous Hawaii head coaches, Greg McMackin and June Jones, Hawaii Football NEVER won fewer than…
Five Football Games in Any One Season
….and Norm Chow has won FOUR football games in two seasons on the job!
You Go Hawaii Football!
11. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Purdue Football won ONE GAME under first year head coach Darrell Hazell and that ONE WIN was over I-AA (FCS) Illinois State and the previous Purdue head coach before Hazell, Danny Hope, never won fewer than FOUR GAMES in a season and he was run out of town on a rail.
Yes, there is a Complete Freaking Disaster going on with Purdue Football right now especially when one considers that the Boilermakers were NOT competitive with any I-A (FBS) team that it played in 2013!
Here is Purdue’s 2014 Football Schedule:
At Notre Dame
Even with a schedule filled with THREE CUPCAKES we would guess here in December 2013 that Purdue Football will win…
2 Games in 2014
…..and if Purdue only wins TWO GAMES in 2014 then we can only assume Darrell Hazell will not be the Purdue head football coach one year from today.
12. Sonny Dykes, California – However bad you think the California Football Program is right now…
Multiply it by 1,000
….and you will be close to how really bad the situation is right now with the Cal Football Program.
Why is the Cal Football Program is such a Very Damn BAD Spot right now?
A Lot of Very Damn BAD Decisions over the past five years….that’s why….and the only question now is will Sonny Dykes get fired or resign before the problems get fixed at Cal?
Hard to say but for right now…
It is Very Damn BAD at Cal!
13. Mack Brown, Texas – Texas lost to Alabama in the January 2010 BCS Title Game at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena in a somewhat close game even after the Longhorns starting QB, Colt McCoy, went down in the first quarter AND since that loss to Alabama in the BCS Title Game Mack Brown and the Mighty Texas Longhorns have put up win/loss records over the past four seasons of:
Overall: 30 – 20 (.600)
Big 12: 18 – 17 (.514)
Are the above records good enough for Texas Football?
YES….if AVERAGE is good enough for Texas Football!
Our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat: There are a handful of billionaires that run the Texas Athletic Department that are willing to accept Texas Football being…
….in exchange for having access to and having their asses kissed by the Texas Head Football Coach, Mack Brown, rather than Texas Football being…
….and the Texas billionaires being where they should be…
On the Outside Looking In
….with the Texas Head Football Coach telling those Texas billionaires to…
Shut Their Traps and Take Their Bullshit and Stuff It Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine!
Hell, what football coach that had any respect for himself would want to be the Head Football Coach at Texas and be put in a position where he has to spend so much of his precious time…
Kissing the Asses of a Bunch of Self-Consumed, Pompous, Arrogant Ass Texas Billionaires that are Big Candy Ass Pussies that wouldn’t have lasted five seconds on a Football Field on the Very Best Day of their Candy Ass Pussy Lives on this Earth?
Damn Good Question!
Be Proud Candy Ass Pussy Texas Billionaires now running the Texas Football Program…
You have a Head Football Coach that will kiss your Precious Asses AND you have an…
AVERAGE Texas Football Program!
The TRUTH: There is NO amount of money on Earth that would get us to take the Texas Head Coach Job….PERIOD!
So what coach that has no Damn respect for himself will take the Texas head coaching job if Mack Brown is replaced?
We are all about to find out the answer to that question….if Mack Brown is replaced but then don’t count on that happening since those Texas Candy Ass Pussy Billionaires don’t really care how many games Texas Football wins….
Just as long as their asses get kissed!
Pucker-Up Mack….More Ass Kissing Ahead!
In our humble opinion of course!
14. Garrick McGee, UAB – UAB head coach Garrick McGee has put up records of…
Overall: 5 – 19
C-USA: 3 – 13
…and if that is good enough for UAB Football Fans….
Are There Any?
….then that is good enough for us!
15. Skip Holtz, La. Tech – Skip Holtz is getting good at taking down high-performing college football programs…
First South Florida and now La. Tech
…..and if the folks at La. Tech are satisfied with Skip Holtz putting up a….
4 – 8
….record in his first year on the job after taking over a La. Tech football program that had won…
8-Plus Football Games
…the previous two seasons then why should we argue with those fans?
La. Tech is a college football doormat again….of their own Damn doing!
16. Tim Beckman, Illinois – In two seasons as the head football coach at Illinois Tim Beckman has put up win/loss records of…
Overall: 6 – 18 (.250)
Big Ten: 1 – 15 (.063)
….and those are MUCH WORSE win/loss records than the previous coach, Ron Zook, that was run out of town put up with the Illini:
Overall: 34 – 51 (.400)
Big Ten: 18 – 38 (.321)
First Rule of Replacing A Coach That Was Run Out of Town:
You MUST Have A Better Record than the Fired Coach!
Tim Beckman has ONE more season to get things straightened out at Illinois or he will not be the coach at Illinois one year from today….PERIOD.
17. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – The TRUTH….
Southern Miss Football right now is a HUGE MESS with the Eagles putting up a record of…
1 – 23
…over the past two seasons with their only win coming over…
Geez, Southern Miss Football is a HUGE MESS right now!
Our guess: Todd Monken has 2014 to turn things around at Southern Miss and anything less than 4 wins next season….maybe 6 wins…and the Monken ere at USM will be over one year from today in Hattiesburg.
18. Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – Over the past four seasons Georgia Tech has put up win/loss records of…
Overall: 31 – 21 (.596)
ACC: 20 – 12 (.625)
….and if being AVERAGE is good enough for Georgia Tech football alumni, boosters and fans then it is good enough for us!
Didn’t we see a guy recently claiming that Georgia Tech was more than just AVERAGE?
19. Paul Petrino, Idaho – Paul Petrino won a lot of football games on his brother Bobby’s staffs at Louisville and Arkansas and in his first season at Idaho Paul Petrino put up a record of…
1 – 11
No, Idaho is NOT Louisville or Arkansas!
Good Luck to you there in Idaho Paul Petrino.
20. P. J. Fleck, Western Michigan – The last Western Michigan head football coach, Bill Cubit, was fired after putting up win/loss records of…
Overall: 51 – 47
MAC: 36 – 27
….in eight seasons on the job and in his first year on the job P. J. Fleck put up a record of….
1 – 11!
Uhhhh…that is taking a football program BACKWARDS there P. J.!
Welcome to the Hot Seat there P. J. and if you can’t turn things around in 2014 then you more than likely will not be the head coach at Western Michigan one year from today so…
Coach Hard P. J. Fleck!