Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
Forget Ebola what should really concern these Hot Seat Coaches is the HOT SEAT! Tell them the God’s Honest Truth Johnny!
Post Week 8 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
1. Will Muschamp, Florida – If there has been any lesson learned over the 25 years of Florida football it is that….
Florida Football is NOT a training ground to learn how to become a Head Coach
….and that TRUTH is revealed by the win/loss records of the last FOUR Florida head football coaches in Gainesville:
Steve Spurrier: 122 – 27 – 1 (.817)
Ron Zook: 23 – 14 (.622)
Urban Meyer: 65 – 15 (.813)
Will Muschamp: 25 – 19 (.568)
Sure there are plenty of examples of assistant head coaches that have taken over top-tier college football programs and done very well…..
Mark Richt at Georgia comes to mind
….BUT in our opinion which is based upon seeing Florida football up-close going back over the past 25 years Florida football is no place for a coach that has not ALREADY proved his ability to win football games and we mean win a Helluva lot of football games as a head coach!
With that mind is Will Muschamp done at Florida after the disaster against Missouri on Saturday night?
Well…Florida COULD win out their remaining 5 games which includes….
Georgia in Jacksonville
At Florida State
….to finish at 8 – 3 on the season and we suppose the planet Jupiter could crash into the Sun wiping out the entire solar system in the process over the next 5 weeks also…..right? NOT!
YES….Will Muschamp is DONE at Florida barring something like a Jupiter crashing into the Sun kind of catastrophe and no doubt Florida AD Jeremy Foley is working on a list of coaches to replace Muschamp and for the sake of Florida Football saying nothing about Foley’s legacy which in already in tatters Foley better Damn this time around….
Hire a sitting head football coach that has WON a Helluva lot of football games!
The question though is: Is Jeremy Foley willing to hire a head football coach at Florida that will overshadow Jeremy Foley and remember in our opinion if University of Utah president Bernie Machen does not take University of Florida president’s job in January 2004 there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that Jeremy Foley hires Urban Meyer to be the Florida head coach after the 2004 football season because Foley’s other two hires….
…prove that TRUTH beyond the shadow of a doubt to us.
Who would have Jeremy Foley have hired to replace the fired Ron Zook in 2005 at Florida if Machen is not president at the University of Florida?
Hard to say but for Damn sure in our opinion NOT Urban Meyer!
If you are thinking that would have made Urban Meyer the head coach at Notre Dame in 2005 instead of Charlie Weis you would be right and Notre Dame football fans can start crying uncontrollably now!
2. Tim Beckman, Illinois – Below are Tim Beckman’s win/loss records in three seasons at Illinois:
Overall: 9 – 22
Big Ten: 1 – 18
In 2014 the Illini’s record is….
3 – 4
…and with these games remaining to be played…
At Ohio State
….it will take something like the planet Saturn crashing into the Sun while wiping out the solar system in the process for the Illini to finish with SIX wins this season which is probably what it will take for Beckman to be back for the 2015 season in Champaign.
Good Luck Tim Beckman!
3. Brady Hoke, Michigan – There is a Shakespearean-type play going on behind the scenes at the University of Michigan right now with lots of people with their hands on the levers of power trying to shape what Michigan athletics and Michigan football will look like in the future BUT there is no getting around the FACTS of what Brady Hoke has done in four seasons at Michigan which are:
Overall: 29 – 17 (.630)
Big Ten: 16 – 11 (.592)
2014: 3 – 4 and 1 – 2 in Big Ten Conference play
Sorry BUT the above win/loss records are NOT acceptable at the University of Michigan and with these games left on the Wolverines schedule….
At Michigan State
At Ohio State
….barring a MAJOR turnaround of this Michigan football team’s play this season a .500 or worse record is around the corner and we cannot imagine how Brady Hoke could survive to coach in 2015 after another mediocre season in Ann Arbor.
What is going to happen at Michigan over the next three months?
Just a guess by us which is our opinion as well…
Michigan will fire AD Dave Brandon
Michigan will hire a new AD
Michigan will fire Brady Hoke
Michigan will hire a new head coach
In what order will all of the above happen…..in our opinion of course?
We don’t have a clue BUT up to this point of this blog post we have the….
….head coaching jobs coming open this December which are some pretty Damn good jobs!
4. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – We had a feeling that Arkansas would experience a letdown against Georgia after coming so close to beating Alabama the week before and the Bulldogs laid a beating on Arkansas before letting the Hogs score some meaningless points at the end of the game and with that loss dropped Bret Bielema’s win/loss record at Arkansas is now:
Overall: 6 – 13
SEC: 0 – 12
Those SIX wins on the board for Bret Bielema are against:
Here is who Arkansas has left to play in 2014:
At Mississippi State
Could Bret Bielema finish another season WITHOUT a win in SEC Conference play?
Could Bret Bielema or Arkansas AD Jeff Long survive Arkansas NOT winning a SEC Conference for TWO straight seasons?
We will just quote what a good buddy and Arkansas alum of ours in Ft. Smith, Arkansas said on Sunday about the possibility of the Hogs not winning a SEC Conference game for 2 straight seasons:
“Hell,0 that NUT John L. Smith won 2 SEC games as head coach at Arkansas and you are telling me Bielema might not win even ONE SEC game in TWO seasons at Arkansas? Hell, if that happens we need to fire them all and offer $7 Million Dollars a year to Gus Malzahn so he can come home to Momma! Hell, we had Gus right here in Arkansas two years ago and we went out and hired a pig farmer from Wisconsin!”
CHS Member: “Bret Bielema is a pig farmer from Iowa.”
Ft. Smith Arkansas Alum: “Wisconsin, Iowa…Hell….they are all Yankee states and by hiring a Yankee pig farmer it serves us right if we don’t win a SEC Conference game in two seasons!”
We didn’t have the heart to tell our good buddy and Arkansas alum from Ft. Smith that…Shhhhhhhh…..don’t tell anyone….
Arkansas AD Jeff Long is a Yankee from Ohio!
Just for the record and especially for fans of Arkansas football:
Bret Bielema’s records last two seasons at Arkansas:
Overall: 6 – 13
SEC: 0 – 12
Gus Malzahn’s records last two seasons at Auburn:
Overall: 17 – 3
SEC: 9 – 2
If you just heard a Good ‘Ole Boy from Ft. Smith Arkansas yell very loudly something like….
….don’t worry he is harmless!
5. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – This past spring a handful of Coaches Hot Seat members traveled to Houston for our annual trip to the home of a relative of a CHS member who is kind enough each year to put us up for a few days in luxurious comfort while we play a few of Houston’s finest golf courses all courtesy of this Houston Good ‘Ole Boy who has made a Freaking Fortune in the….
….with us never getting a real good answer to exactly what part of the….
….that the Freaking Fortune was made in but who cares about details when life is good….right? RIGHT!
Well this relative of a CHS Member is a Texas A&M alum from way back and several CHS Members were having breakfast at this Good ‘Ole Boy’s housein the back “pool area” of his house which is a “pool area” that kings and queens of 14 th century Europe would be jealous of and eventually the conversation got around to A&M football and this Good ‘Ole Boy A&M alum said something very Damn interesting and it went something like this:
CHS Member: “So A&M has Kevin Sumlin nailed down for the next six years.”
Houston Good ‘Ole Boy: “Yes, these geniuses nailed down a head coach that lost six games the last two seasons with the best college football player (Johnny Manziel) in the last two decades!”
CHS Member: “So you weren’t thrilled with the contract A&M gave Sumlin?”
Houston Good ‘Ole Boy: “Sumlin was able to do what any average high school coach in the state of Texas could have done with the same talent which included the best player in college football in the last two decades.”
CHS Member: “What do you expect out of A&M this season?”
Houston Good ‘Ole Boy: “Well, about thirty years ago we hired an engineer away from another firm here in Houston that my people told me we just had to have and we gave him a contract that guaranteed he would be paid for five years no matter what kind of work he did. If I have tell you guys that once that guy signed that guaranteed contract he become one of the most worthless workers we ever hired and we had to fire his sorry ass in his second year on the job then you boys ain’t as smart as I think you are!”
Here are the details of the guaranteed contract given to Kevin Sumlin by Texas A&M after he LOST SIX Games with the best player in college football in the past two decades after two years on the job:
Contract details revealed for Texas A&M’s Kevin Sumlin: Buyout raised to $5M if he leaves before 2016; no buyout thereafter, Kate Hairopoulos, Dallas Morning News
“The deal, announced first Nov. 30 when agreement was reached in principle, and in more detail Thursday after it was finalized, is for $5 million annually for six years. Sumlin will get that $30 million unless he chooses to leave or he is fired with cause. A&M couldn’t release him otherwise without paying the full commitment of the contract within 60 days of any such termination. For example, even if Sumlin were to go 2-10 in 2014 and again in 2015, A&M couldn’t fire him without cutting a check for $20 million for the remaining four seasons on the deal.”
Why does Forrest Gump suddenly jump into our heads here at Coaches Hot Seat?
“Stupid Texas A&M Is, As Stupid Texas A&M Does!
One would think that after the numerous college head coaches that have been given MASSIVE guaranteed contracts over the past decade-plus that have then fallen flat on their faces….
Think Charlie Weis….TWICE!
…that the folks at Texas A&M would have learned their lesson but then let’s focus in just what Kevin Sumlin has done at Texas A&M starting with is win/loss records to earn a $30 MILLION DOLLAR guaranteed contract:
Overall: 25 – 9 (.736)
SEC: 12 – 9 (.571)
FIVE MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR for a .571 winning percentage in SEC Conference play?
Oh, there is no BUYOUT on Kevin Sumlin’s contract so Texas A&M will owe Sumlin…
$30 MILLION DOLLARS
…over the next SIX seasons no matter what he does as head coach of the Aggies and with that in mind let’s move to the…
59 – 0
….beating that A&M took on Saturday in Tuscaloosa against Alabama which the week before beat an Arkansas team by ONE point which is a team that A&M beat in overtime earlier this season.
Is there anyone on Earth that believes Kevin Sumlin gives two-rips about what ANYONE at Texas A&M or A&M alums and fans think about that…
59 – 0
…loss to Alabama on Saturday?
Answer to that question in our opinion: $30 MILLION DOLLARS Guaranteed which means NO!
Guaranteed contracts for college head football coaches OR anyone else are a CROCK in our opinion because a guaranteed contract assumes that somehow the human being that is being given that guaranteed contract is NOT a human being because in our opinion the exact moment that Kevin Sumlin signed that $30 MILLION DOLLAR Guaranteed Contract the Texas A&M football program became worse because Kevin Sumlin took a sigh and let-up….with Kevin Sumlin being a = Human Being!
Guess what Texas A&M fans:
The Real Men of Genius at Texas A&M have set the A&M football program for a MASSIVE FAILURE and you should fully expect LOTS more…
59 – ZERO
…games in your future!
Now with A&M at 5 – 3 on the season and with wins over 5 teams…
South Carolina, Lamar, Rice, SMU, and Arkansas
…with the FBS teams the Aggies have beaten in 2014 having a combined win/loss record of…
9 – 16
…..this season A&M has these games left to be played in 2014:
Is Texas A&M headed for a 6 – 6 season which would lead to the following pattern in Sumlin’s three seasons in College Station?
2012: 11 – 2
2013: 9 – 4
2014: 6 – 6
Does it even matter that A&M could be headed to a 6 – 6 season in 2014?
Answer in our opinion: $30 MILLION DOLLARS Guaranteed so NO!
It just doesn’t matter Texas A&M football fans and you have YOUR Administration at Texas A&M University to thank for making Damn sure that…
IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER!
Here is the very simple provision we would have DEMANDED be included in Kevin Sumlin’s contract if we had been the athletic director at Texas A&M leaving everything else and Sumlin’s $5 Million Dollar annual salary in place:
“Texas A&M will have the right to buyout Kevin Sumlin AT ANYTIME for the sum of $5 Million Dollars in the first two years of this contract, $3 Million Dollars in the third and fourth year of this contract, and $2 Million Dollars in the fifth and sixth years of this contract.”
Oh, Kevin Sumlin with his agent’s advice would have taken another college or NFL job?
Fine….get the HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE is what we as AD at Texas A&M would have told Kevin Sumlin and his agent with a $5 Million Dollar year contract on the table which would have been followed-up with something like:
“A coach that isn’t scared he is going to fail doesn’t need a guaranteed contract so you must be a COWARD and we don’t do COWARDS at Texas A&M University so you have 10 seconds to get your asses out this building or I will call security you COWARD!”
Who would have guessed?
MORONS and COWARDS at Texas A&M University…..BUT YES it is TRUE!
6. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – With Indiana’s loss to Michigan State on Saturday by a score of…
56 – 17
….Kevin Wilson’s win/loss record in four seasons on the job is:
Overall: 13 – 30
Big Ten: 5 – 22
Indiana’s record in 2014 is now…
3 – 4
…and with these games remaining to be played….
At Ohio State
….unless the Hoosiers can find THREE more wins out of their last SIX games the Indiana job will also open up this coming December.
Coach ‘em up Kevin!
Hell, if Indiana can beat Missouri on the road then for Damn sure they can beat this PITIFUL Michigan team on the road…right? RIGHT!
7. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – With New Mexico State’s loss to woeful Idaho on Saturday Doug Martin’s win/loss record in two seasons on the job dropped to…
Overall: 4 – 16
….and the Aggies record in 2014 is now….
2 – 6
Will the above kind of records get you fired at New Mexico State?
We don’t have a clue!
Next up for New Mexico State:
Coach ‘em up Doug!
8. David Shaw, Stanford – There is a Stanford Football poster that was produced before the 2009 college football season that we were able to get several dozen copies of and which hang in many of our homes and at the three Coaches Hot Seat Centrals spread across America and here is that poster:
This Stanford football poster was produced before the 2009 college football season after Stanford had in Jim Harbaugh’s first two seasons put up records of…
2007: 4 – 8
2008: 5 – 7
…and EVERYONE here at Coaches Hot Seat knew that 2009 was going to produce a winning season which ended up at….
8 – 5
….after a decent regular season and a close loss to Oklahoma in the Sun Bowl.
The reason why we are referencing the WE WORK Stanford football poster from the 2009 college football season and why Stanford head coach David Shaw is now on the Hot Seat after his team’s pitiful performance against an average Arizona State team on Saturday night is…
….is NO LONGER the slogan, motto, message, or even goal of Stanford football but in our opinion has now been replaced with…
A head coach in David Shaw that does LESS ACTUAL WORK in coaching the Stanford football team than a Stanford professor teaching one course in the Fall Quarter
….and which also in our opinion is getting worse and worse as David Shaw has become…
Lazy and Un-Caring about whether the Stanford football team EVER wins another football game or not….PERIOD.
Yes, you read that right David Shaw is LAZY AND UN-CARING about Stanford Football…..PERIOD….in our opinion.
When did this all happen that Stanford Football’s motto went from…
LAZY AND UN-CARING….PERIOD?
Well, in our opinion it started after the 2012 season with…
Less Work Ethic
…by the Stanford COACHES which led to Half-Ass practices, Half-Ass Games, and now a…
Half-Ass Stanford Football Team
….that is now in real danger of NOT making a bowl game in 2014 and all because of what exactly?
Thomas Jefferson was quoted as saying once:
“The harder I work, the luckier I get.”
With Stanford Football right now everyone is seeing the opposite of Thomas Jefferson’s quote come to pass…
“As one works less, the un-luckier one gets.’
…OR rather the new Stanford Football motto is….in our opinion of course:
WE DON’T WORK and WE ARE LAZY AS HELL!
We here at Coaches Hot Seat have been told that David Shaw believes that the wine and cheese crowd that makes up most of the alums, tailgaters and crowd at Stanford football games is so happy to have just a few years of a good Cardinal football team that a few down years of .500 type records will allow Shaw to hang onto his job as long as he wants it.
We have some news for David Shaw:
The Wine and Cheese Crowd DOES NOT ultimately make the hiring and firing decisions at Stanford University but rather the men and women that make up the Stanford alumni that helped to build Silicon Valley and some of the largest and best companies in the world are ultimately the ones that hire the people that make the hiring and firing decisions at Stanford University and if you continue on with what you are now doing which in our opinion is nothing less than….
A Dereliction in YOUR Duty and Job as Head Football Coach at Stanford University
…..you will be fired….PERIOD….and in our opinion you should be fired….PERIOD.
What’s left on the schedule for the 4 – 3 Stanford Cardinal?
Bozo the Clown could lead Stanford Football to FOUR wins in the remaining FIVE games with the amount of talent now on the field for Stanford.
How many games will the Lazy and Un-Caring David Shaw….in our opinion…win?
We are all about to find out and also who is right because Stanford has MORE talent than every team left on its schedule except for Oregon.
You are now on the clock and coaching for your job David Shaw….PERIOD.
Oh, we forgot to mention David….
Bill Walsh never did ANYTHING in a Half-Ass way and right now you are tainting his legacy…..PERIOD….and we have no doubt if he walked into the Stanford athletic building right now he would chew your ass our royally in the way only Coach Walsh could!
9. Ron Turner, Florida International – In two seasons at Florida International Ron Turner has put up records of….
Overall: 4 – 16
C-USA: 3 – 9
….and now at 3 – 5 on the season after the loss to a very good Marshall team on Saturday here is what FIU has left to play:
At Old Dominion
At North Texas
Can Ron Turner and FIU win 3 more games in 2014 to get to a .500 record?
We don’t have a clue but we do know the FIU program has taken quite a fall since Mario Cristobal was fired two seasons ago. We do know that!
10. Norm Chow, Hawaii – Norm Chow’s Hawaii team seems to be playing at a higher level in 2014 than they did in 2013 and their 10-point loss to a pretty good San Diego State team on Saturday seems to confirm that view of ours BUT in two seasons on the job at Hawaii Chow has put up records of…
Overall: 6 – 25
MWC: 2 – 16
….and those kinds of records will land your rear-end on the Hot Seat!
Next up for Hawaii:
Now beating a pretty good Nevada team that just beat BYU would CONFIRM our point of view that Hawaii is playing better in year two under Norm Chow!
Coach ‘em up Norm!
11. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – With the 39 – 38 loss by Purdue at Minnesota on Saturday we and anyone else paying attention has seen that the Boilermakers are playing better in 2014 under Darrell Hazell and now Hazell and his Purdue football team need to get a few wins out of their good play starting with their game this coming Saturday…
Purdue is now 3 – 5 on the season and has left to play….
…and if Darrell Hazell’s Boilermakers can win at least TWO of their remaining THREE games then that will get Hazell off the Hot Seat and some momentum heading into the 2015 season BUT if Purdue loses 3 of 4 or 4 of 4……WELL…..HOT SEAT.…maybe worse!
12. Bill Blankenship, Tulsa – Long-time successful high school football coach in the state of Oklahoma Bill Blankenship always had the dream of coaching on the college level and now in his FOURTH season as the head coach at Tulsa Blankenship is coaching on the college level and he is on a…
Very Damn Hot Seat!
Here are Bill Blankenship’s records at Tulsa:
2011: 8 – 5
2012: 11 – 3
2013: 3 – 9
2014: 1 – 6
Overall: 23 – 23
CUSA/AAC: 17 – 10
Uhhhhh…..Coach Blankenship the above kind of records will send your rear-end back to….
High School Football!
Now at 1 – 6 on the season after a close loss to a struggling South Florida team on Saturday the Hurricane has left in 2014:
That’s a pretty tough schedule and it looks like that would add up to a second straight losing season for Blankenship at Tulsa BUT would a second straight losing season at Tulsa add up to Blankenship getting fired come December?
We don’t have a clue but even Bill Blankenship would agree two straight losing seasons ISN’T GOOD!
Coach ‘em up Bill!
13. Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech – After starting the season at 5 – 0 and two close losses to Duke and North Carolina Paul Johnson has landed back on the Hot Seat and is needing a strong finish to the 2014 season to avoid having lots of very uncomfortable questions being asked of when when December rolls around and with these games left to be played….
At NC State
……it is our opinion that Paul Johnson will have to lead his Yellow Jackets to EIGHT Wins in 2014 to return to coach Tech in 2015 which means Tech better find THREE more wins in their last FIVE games! Just our opinion.
We would recommend Paul Johnson and Georgia Tech win their next three games against….
Pitt, Virginia, and NC State
…before finishing the season against…
Clemson and Georgia!
14. Paul Petrino, Idaho – Congratulations are in order for Paul Petrino and the Idaho Vandals who got their first win of the season over New Mexico State on Saturday and now at 1 – 6 on the season Idaho has left to play this season…
At San Diego State
At Appalachian State
…..and the Vandals should be able to get ONE maybe TWO more wins in 2014…..right?
Coach ‘em up Paul!
15. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – Pretty Boy Kliff Kingsbury got his MUST WIN on Saturday against a suddenly stabilized Kansas team in the post Charlie Weis era in Lawrence….NOT A SURPRISE…..BUT with Pretty Boy and Texas Tech now….
3 – 4
….on the season and with these games still left to be played…
At Iowa State
….will the Red Raiders win another game in 2014?
We rather doubt it!
It looks like Pretty Boy Kingsbury is on the Hot Seat for the duration and into the 2015 season!
16. Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – With the 56 – 28 loss to USC on Saturday Mike MacIntyre’s CU Buffs dropped to…
2 – 5
….on the season with those two wins coming over…
….which is….NOT that impressive!
Here is what Colorado has left to play in 2014:
Will Colorado win another game this season?
More than likely not!
Coach ‘em up Mike!
17. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Paul Rhoads and Iowa State gave Charlie Strong and Texas all they wanted on Saturday night BUT another loss and the Cyclones dropped to….
2 – 5
…on the season and they have these games left to be played:
Can Iowa State win a few games down the stretch to save Paul Rhoads job for the 2015 season?
Well, Iowa State is still playing hard so THREE or maybe even TWO more wins might just do that BUT Rhoads would be on a Helluva HOT SEAT entering the 2015 season!
18. Trent Miles, Georgia State – What we know about the Georgia State football program we could write on a napkin and last year we actually tried and failed to find the Georgia State campus in downtown Atlanta BUT we do know that if you put up a record of…
1 – 18
….in two seasons on the job ANYWHERE you will usually find your rear-end on the Hot Seat and that where Trent Miles is on this Monday morning!
At 1 – 6 on the season and with these games left for Georgia State…
At Appalachian State
……there is at least ONE more win left on the schedule….right?
Let’s sure the Hell hope so!
19. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – A hearty congratulations are in order for Todd Monken and the Southern Miss football team that got a BIG win over a decent North Texas team on Saturday and now at…
3 – 4
…on the season and with these games still left to be played…
At Texas San Antonio
…..believe it or not the Golden Eagles could get to…
….in 2014 which would have to be a Coach of the Year like performance for Todd Monken BUT…..
You have to win the games!
Keep Coaching them up Todd!
20. Al Golden, Miami – Miami had a BYE in Week 8 and now at…
4 – 3
….on the season and with these games left….
At Virginia Tech
…..IF Miami can’t win at least THREE of their last FIVE games then….
Al Golden SHOULD BE FIRED…..right?
With all this talk about the Great State of Texas we have ONE song on our minds this Monday morning!
Let’s go to Luckenbach, Texas!