Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Thursday, May 17, 2012 – Lewis Grizzard
“I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. “
And
“I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. “
And
“Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”
And
“It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. “
And
“Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it. “
And
“The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity. “
And
“The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.”
And
“You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’ “
And
“The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life’s most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put rum or bourbon in it.”
And
“Being a newspaper columnist is like being married to a nymphomaniac. It’s great for the first two weeks.”
And
“Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.”
And
“I have three ex-wives. I can’t remember any of their names, so I just call ‘em Plaintiff.”
And
“I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.”
And
“In the south there’s a difference between ‘Naked’ and ‘Nekkid.’ ‘Naked’ means you don’t have any clothes on. ‘Nekkid’ means you don’t have any clothes on … and you’re up to somethin’.”
And
“Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.”
And
“Real estate agents are God’s plague on mankind when locusts are out of season.”
And
“Women who drink white wine either want to get married, sell you a piece of real estate, or redecorate your house. Either way, it’s expensive.”
And
“Lewis’ advice to Atlantans in case of nuclear war: “If you live on the South side of Atlanta, get on I-75 and go south. If you live of the North side of Atlanta get on I-75 and go north. If you are a Yankee get on 285.” (Note to all you Yankees — I-285 is a continuous loop around the city)”
And
“I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.”
Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Wednesday, May 16, 2012 – Ayn Rand
“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.”
And
“A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.”
And
“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.”
And
“Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”
And
“From the smallest necessity to the highest religious abstraction, from the wheel to the skyscraper, everything we are and everything we have comes from one attribute of man – the function of his reasoning mind.”
And
“Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.”
And
“I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
And
“Man’s unique reward, however, is that while animals survive by adjusting themselves to their background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself.”
And
“Money demands that you sell, not your weakness to men’s stupidity, but your talent to their reason.”
And
“Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.”
And
“People create their own questions because they are afraid to look straight. All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don’t sit looking at it – walk.”
And
“The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.”
And
“The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live.”
And
“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
And
“The truth is not for all men, but only for those who seek it.”
And
“There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil.”
And
“Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision.”
And
“To achieve, you need thought. You have to know what you are doing and that’s real power.”
And
“To say “I love you” one must first be able to say the “I.”"
And
“Wealth is the product of man’s capacity to think.”
And
“When man learns to understand and control his own behavior as well as he is learning to understand and control the behavior of crop plants and domestic animals, he may be justified in believing that he has become civilized.”
And
“You seek escape from pain. We seek the achievement of happiness. You exist for the sake of avoiding punishment. We exist for the sake of earning rewards. Threats will not make us function; fear is not our incentive. It is not death we wish to avoid, but life that we wish to live.” John Galt in Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
One of our favorite things for Coaches Hot Seat members to do when traveling is to pick up the REAL newspapers that we read all of the time online because for those of us older than 35 or so it was the newspaper that brought the news and more importantly the sports news and stats into our homes when we were growing up and that great feel of a newspaper in our hands as we scan from one story to another while lingering over the ads will probably always be our favorite way to consume news stories and columns.
Although we would not trade the Internet for almost anything and that is because we can at the touch of a mouse read newspapers, columns, blogs and stories from around the globe like the column in the Chicago Tribune this morning by Teddy Greenstein:
“Last we left college football’s decision-makers, they were metaphorically high-fiving each other in Hollywood, Fla., for doing something that will make them popular with the vast majority of fans.
Yes, a four-team playoff will replace the BCS system in 2014.
“Inevitable,” is how one Big Ten athletic director put it Sunday.
Now for the hard part — determining where to play the games, how to choose the teams and how to keep the Rose Bowl happy.
Big Ten athletic directors and Commissioner Jim Delany will meet Tuesday and Wednesday in Chicago to kick around those issues.”
Wow!
Even after the “playoff” stories coming out of the meeting of the college conferences commissioners in Hollywood, Florida a few weeks back the above headline and story by Teddy Greenstein in Chicago Tribune is still almost beyond comprehension for those fans of the great game of college football that have been pushing for some kind of a postseason playoff for years now and here we are on the front door step of bringing a legitimate postseason playoff format to Major College Football and the buzz around Coaches Hot Seat Central of that great reality is still just beginning to sink in.
Teddy Greenstein’s column goes on to address the Bogus idea of a Plus-One format that would play two teams in a game AFTER the bowls were played and the home sites for the semifinal games issue…
“Two ideas that will be discussed but seem destined for the chopping block:
A true Plus-One, which calls for the top two teams to square off after the bowls. That quasi-playoff would satisfy the public for the time it takes to flip a coin.
Home sites for the semifinal games. Great in theory, and a potential edge for Big Ten teams. But there’s the threat of playing in smallish stadiums without luxury suites and adequate press boxes. And coaches want players who have reached the final four to get a true bowl experience, rather than getting stuck practicing on campus.”
…which is music to our ears on the Bogus Plus-One since the entire reason to pick FOUR teams to play in TWO games in a Postseason Playoff Final Four is for those teams to play for and EARN the right to play for the National Championship in the National Title Game which is THE THING that will bring some incredible excitement to the Major College Football Postseason because for the first time EVER there will be postseason games that will actually matter beyond the old Bogus BCS title game which was little more than a beauty contest that often turned on its head the idea that the “regular season matters” which was buried in 2011 when LSU beat Alabama and the game ended up meaning Absolutely Damn Nothing because if the “regular season matters” then the LSU – Alabama game would have already been played and thus there would have been no reason for a rematch in the title game in New Orleans.
THE REASON to have a Four Team Playoff in the Postseason is because the TWO Semifinal Games would then be THE GAMES that would determine which teams would play or the National Title and that Final Four of College Football Teams would quickly turn into one of the Biggest Sporting Events in America with hopefully those games being played back-to-back on a SATURDAY a week (or two?) before the National Championship Game with everything on the line in those games just as it should be in the United States of America.
One of the GREAT things about Teddy Greenstein’s column is that since Greenstein is about as connected as one can be to the powers-that-be in Big Ten Country the Bogus idea that surfaced last week in the Wall Street Journal which was proposed by Rachel Bachman….
….is that such a plan is now buried forever because the leadership of the Big Ten and Pac-12 Conferences rightly see that a Final Four for Major College Football would not only generate lots of additional revenues for OUR colleges and universities and it would go a long ways in settling a TRUE National Champion on the Field of Play it would most importantly turn a boring and almost meaningless current college football postseason into a HUGE American Sporting Event with the Final Four and National Championship Game of Major College Football being the centerpiece that the other bowl games both major and minor would be built around to create a compelling postseason that will fundamentally change the game of Major College Football for the better.
As for the other issue that Teddy Greenstein wrote about…
“Home sites for semifinal games”
…if the powers-that-be in Major College Football would adapt the “Coaches Hot Seat Postseason Playoff Plan” that we detailed back in March of this year which would need to be changed from 8 to 4 teams in the Postseason Playoff which would on the issue of playing the Semifinal Games at the home stadium of the higher ranked team ALL four teams in the Final Four would play in TWO more games with the two winners of the Semifinal Games played at the campus stadium of the higher seeded team advancing to the National Championship Game and the losers of the TWO Final Four games playing in BIG bowl games.
…where they would play games at the home field campus stadium of the higher seeded team which in 2011 would have set-up a Final Four of:
Oregon at Alabama Oklahoma State at LSU
The TWO winners of the above two games would then have advanced to the…
National Championship Game
…and the losers of the above two games would play in a BIG bowl game that was close to their home city such as…
The Rose Bowl or Fiesta Bowl for Oregon
AND
The Cotton Bowl, Fiesta Bowl or Sugar Bowl for Oklahoma State
Will the powers-that-be in Major College Football decide to play the TWO Semifinal Games of the Final Four at the home stadiums of the higher seeded teams and have the losers of those two games advance to play in a BIG bowl game while the winners head to the National Championship Game?
Probably not because there is money to be made by playing those Final Four games in places like the Jerry Dome in Dallas, in Phoenix, Tampa, Indianapolis, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Miami, etc., and since 99.99999999999999999 plus percent of the people watching these Final Four Semifinal College Football Games will be watching them on TV it will not matter much to most fans since a….
Final Four in Major College Football will be a HUGE American Sporting Event and Spectacle
….no matter where it is played!
One thing that we are very confident about and that is the BIG gain that the NFL has achieved popularity wise in America over College Football during the BCS era over the past 14 years which saw the popularity of ALL football in America surge will begin to narrow dramatically in the coming years once this new 4-Team Postseason Playoff Final Four plan is put into place because just as the NFL has grown by leaps and bounds with both the NFL regular season and postseason games being more popular than ever the same will be TRUE for Major College Football as well because a 4-Team Postseason Playoff will just make the entire game of College Football much bigger and more popular than it is now and that can only be a net positive for Major College Football and for America’s colleges and universities that will receive even more attention from the American Public as the game of College Football grows even larger and better in the coming years.
(and there goes the Bogus argument made by people that claim college football would go the way of college basketball if Major College Football instituted a postseason playoff because the TRUTH is that the popularity of basketball in America on both the pro and college level has leveled off in recent years and ALL football has surged and the NFL has especially surged in popularity and the NFL has a very popular regular season AND postseason playoff which should end the Idiocy of people saying a playoff in college football would hurt the college football regular season when the TRUTH is it would only make it MORE POPULAR among the American public!)
Believe it….
Major College Football in America is moving to a 4-Team Playoff Final Four format after the contract for the current Bogus and Un-American BCS ends and that reality means that we are approaching a day that when the announcement for this new 4-Team Playoff Final Four is announced it will be a…
Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Tuesday, May 15, 2012 – Johnny Carson
“Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.”
And
“Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.”
And
“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.”
And
“I know you’ve been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.”
And
“I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.”
And
“My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.”
And
“Never continue in a job you don’t enjoy. If you’re happy in what you’re doing, you’ll like yourself, you’ll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.”
And
“Talent alone won’t make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: “Are your ready?”"
And
“The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money”
Before we get to the insanity of FSU heading to the Big 12 we must first say that our observation after watching Tiger Woods play golf the last 4 days at the Players Championship is that Tiger Woods needs the one thing that the sycophants that surround him cannot, could not and would not give him because of course they have their lips planted firmly on Woods’ precious ass.
Tiger Woods’ golf swing is fine….what Tiger Woods needs is either a…
An Old Fashioned Ass Chewing
Or actually a….
An Old Fashioned Ass Whipping
Tiger Woods seems to be trying hard enough to get his new golf swing in shape, but the answers to Woods’ problems will not be found on a golf driving range but rather in someone doing the kind of things that were done to us when we were struggling in sports or life that usually would go something like this….
“Now listen up and listen up good. I don’t know what kind of BS is swirling in that mind of yours, but your precious ass just isn’t that Damn important anymore and if you don’t get off that precious ass of yours and quit feeling sorry for yourself you can kiss that Jack Nicklaus Total Majors record goodbye!”
Memo to Tiger Woods: Get over yourself. The TRUTH is that you are just not that good of a GOLFER anymore with an emphasis on GOLFER because a GOLFER plays the GAME OF GOLF while precious Candy Ass play the game of SWING. Bring that game of SWING of yours to the Olympic Club in San Francisco for the US Open in June and you may not finish your first two rounds and if you do they will probably have an “8” number on them as in OVER 80!
As for Matt Kuchar winning the Players Championship AMERICAN Golf is on a nice upswing lately with youngsters Johnson Wagner, Brandt Snedeker, Kyle Stanley, Bill Haas, Hunter Mahan, Bubba Watson, Jason Dufner, Rickie Fowler and now Kuchar winning in 2012 and if we can keep this going the old guard of Michelson and Woods might just wake-up one day soon and realize that their era is over although it was quite a run for that now “older” crowd!
FSU to the Big 12 Conference? Please are the people in Tallahassee that Damn STUPID?
We have gotten a nice laugh out of reports over the weekend that Florida State has been considering a move to the Big 12 Conference…
….but forget for a moment the “money issue” involving the new ACC TV contract and what the Pac-12 recently signed and what TV contracts the SEC and other conferences will be signing in the near future…
$18 to $23 million for each Pac-12, SEC, Big 12, Big Ten schools
….which is a few million dollars a year less for ACC schools which is not chump change (Yes, we could have gotten a slightly better TV deal for the ACC but then who couldn’t have?) but is not the kind of thing that schools should be switching conferences for and in case the FSU Board of Trustees and FSU head coach Jimbo Fisher forgot the summer of 2010 when it was the boys down in Austin that got all of this conference shifting cranked up it was in June 2010 that the below planted and smokescreen story as in they wanted to smoke Nebraska out of the Big 12 Conference suddenly appeared….
Listen up leadership at Florida State since you boys and girls in Tallahassee seem to have a very short Damn memory:
We would not trust the current leadership of the University of Texas to…
WATCH OUR DOGS!’
….and if you are going to leave the safety, security, stability and American Common Sense of the ACC to join the Big 12 which is run by the Boys in Austin which new Big 12 commish Bob Bowlsby will try to control but will not really change until the University of Texas gets some people in positions of power that care about something beyond their own precious asses and their own MASSIVE EGOS then you have LOST YOUR FREAKING MINDS!
Florida State (or Clemson) to the Big 12 Conference?
If that happens then we will have confirmed that there are some Very Damn Stupid and Very Damn Naïve people in Tallahassee, Florida and on the FSU Board of Trustees but then PT Barnum didn’t become rich for no Damn reason right?
Yes, there is a sucker born every minute and if FSU is thinking about heading to Big 12 country then Tallahassee is a place where Barnum could have a made a fortune because the place has to be full of SUCKERS!
Of course, in the background of this possible FSU move to the Big 12 is what else…..
MONEY
…or as the character Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) in the movie Wall Street told Bud Fox (Charley Sheen):
“It’s all about the bucks, kid. The rest is conversation.”
…we here at Coaches Hot Seat have been very interested and perplexed to hear that the Florida State athletics department is running a $2 million dollar plus deficit:
With the tradition of Florida State athletics and the stunning history of its football program under Bobby Bowden that is an OUTRAGE and we cannot help but wonder what the Hell is going on in Tallahassee when we read comments like this one from FSU AD Randy Spetman:
“Randy Spetman told Warchant.com last week that the plan is to “to cut our budget back next year pretty drastically.” If FSU is able to cut over $2 million in expenses from its budget and is still able operate at a high level that doesn’t speak well for how expenses have been handled to date. And that doesn’t even take into account that the department has already cut out nearly $500,000 from last year’s operating budget.”
Is FSU AD Randy Spetman really saying that he and his staff do not have the ability to pick up the phone and raise $2 million dollars from the FSU alumni and boosters which includes dozens if not a couple of hundred people that $2 million dollars would be chump change?
Hell, according to the above WarChant.com story Florida State and other ACC schools will see an increase from around $13 million to over $17 million dollars each year from the new ACC TV contract and forgetting that $4 million dollar increase to the FSU athletic department budget each year we still cannot help but wonder why in the Hell that FSU could not raise $5 million MORE dollars a year just by getting their lazy asses on the phones and putting the hammer down on the FSU alumni and boosters that seem to want a strong football program and have an athletics department compete at a high level but they for some reason cannot find their wallets and purses.
What is it? Are the FSU alumni and booster a bunch of Sorry Ass cheapskates?
If we were running Florida State University we would call FSU AD Randy Spetman into our office and say something like….
“Now Randy, you are doing a nice job but unless you increase the amount of revenues coming into the FSU athletic department then we are going to have to find a new athletic director. What I need to see happen is what I have to do in this office everyday which is get on the phone and call people and ask them for money and it is that money that I and many other raise here at FSU that allows this institution get up and go each day and when the day comes when I quit raising money is the day Florida State University starts going backwards. With that mind beyond running the FSU athletic department I am going to write a number down on this piece of paper in the amount of “X” and that is what I want to see you and your athletics department raise each year above and beyond what the school takes in revenue wise from our sports teams. I am willing to let you hire one professional fundraiser and a couple of assistants to make this new fundraising requirement happen, but it is going to happen either under your watch or under a new athletic director. If you want to know how to get started it is actually very easy…..You pick up the phone and start calling people and asking them for money and if you can’t do that and I mean YOU personally in addition to your staff then you will need to submit your resignation this afternoon because I will need to find a new athletic director for FSU and quick.”
Pick-up the phone FSU AD Randy Spetman….TODAY…and start raising money for FSU athletics and if you cannot wipe out the current and puny $2 million dollar FSU athletic department deficit (puny in relation to the name of FSU athletics) by the end of the current work week, Friday May 18, 2012, then FSU needs to find a new athletic director….and pronto.
Getting back to the subject at hand….FSU possibly heading to the Big 12…we cannot help but…..
