COACHES HOT SEAT BLOG

This past weekend was a GREAT one in the San Francisco Bay area with…

Stanford beating Duke 50 – 13 in a MUCH improved performance over Week 1

The San Francisco Giants taking 2 of 3 games against the Los Angeles Dodgers to go up 5.5 games in West Division of the National League

The San Francisco 49ers put a whipping on the Green Bay Packers in Green Bay

…with ALL of the above setting up for this coming weekend what we here at Coaches Hot Seat are calling:

GRUDGE Weekend by the Bay!

First, we have that piss-ant Lane Kiffin bringing his USC Trojans to The Farm for a Saturday afternoon game against the Stanford Cardinal with this little FACTOID hanging in the air….

Stanford has BEATEN USC THREE STRAIGHT TIMES

AND

Stanford has WON FOUR OF THE LAST FIVE Games against USC

Take that FACTOID and stuff it where the Sun Doesn’t Shine Trojans!

The Stanford football team will be interested to hear that our USC-alum buddies are Very Damn Confident that USC will “WHIP Stanford” next Saturday on The Farm and they already have their victory restaurant reservations for one of the San Francisco’s finest eating establishments made for Saturday night where they invited us to join them in “Celebrating USC’s win over The Cardinal!”

Uhhhhhh, there’s this little matter that the Stanford Cardinal is going to pop the USC Trojans in the mouth and find out if they and their pretty-boy QB want to play FOOTBALL or if they want to continue that ballerina dancing they have been playing under the piss-ant?

Meanwhile in the Undercard for next weekend on Sunday night we have the….

Jim Harbaugh vs. Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz

….GRUDGE Rematch which is a carry-over GRUDGE Match from 2011 which we wrote about in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog HERE and which should provide for some mighty interesting storylines which NBC Sports is already playing up for the Sunday Night telecast from Candlestick Park of the….

San Francisco 49ers vs. the Detroit Lions!

Oh, there is nothing quite like Candlestick Park at night especially with the San Francisco 49ers playing the game of FOOTBALL again! (More on who is and who isn’t playing FOOTBALL below!)

Oh, the salty chilly air, the sound of pads hitting pads, helmets hitting helmets and a football team running a Power Sweep every once in awhile just to remind everyone that we are still playing the game of FOOTBALL!

Can you say……SWEET!

Why yes we can!

No doubt, that 49ers win over the Packers on Sunday was as meaningful for San Francisco head coach Jim Harbaugh as it was for us here at Coaches Hot Seat because of the immense amount of respect that we share for the….

Great Vince Lombardi

YES, Vincent Thomas “Vince” Lombardi would have loved that 49ers – Packers game on Sunday and he would have particularly loved that San Francisco 49ers offense which runs when it can, passes when the opportunity presents itself BUT most of all the 49ers has an offense that plays the game of FOOTBALL!

Let’s have a great week at Stanford and at 49ers headquarters in Santa Clara and get TWO BIG WINS this weekend over those Bastards Trojans and the Detroit Lions!

“The spirit, the will to win and the will to excel – these are the things that endure and these are the qualities that are so much more important than any of the events that occasion them.”  Vince Lombardi

Stanford Cardinal and San Francisco 49ers:

Prepare like Hell and then…..Give ‘em Hell!

Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Oh, we do miss you Johnny Cash! Give ‘em Hell Johnny!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Frank Spaziani, Boston College – In four seasons at Boston College Frank Spaziani has put up an overall record of…

21 – 20

…BUT 4 of those 21 wins (19 percent) are against I-AA (FCS) teams including this year’s win over Maine, (2009) Northeastern, (2010) Weber State, (2011) Massachusetts which means against I-A (FBS) teams Spaziani’s overall record is…

17 – 20

….which really makes the rest of BC’s 2012 season vitally important to Spaziani’s future in Boston and that future starts with a game at Northwestern on Saturday which just beat a tough Vanderbilt football team in Evanston.

With games after Northwestern against Clemson, at Army, at FSU, at Georgia Tech, Maryland, at Wake Forest, Notre Dame, Virginia Tech and at NC State it would probably be hard for Vince Lombardi to lead BC to a winning record if the took over the Eagles this week and last time we checked Frank Spaziani is no Vince Lombardi!

2.  Jeff Tedford, California – San Francisco Chronicle columnist John Crumpacker wrote what we were thinking in his blog on Saturday about Cal football:

Uh, oh, John Crumpacker, San Francisco Chronicle

“If this is the best Cal can do against a lower-division opponent like Southern Utah, what’s in store for the poor old Bears against Ohio State and USC on the road the next two weeks?

I shudder to contemplate the possible scenarios.

Unless coach Jeff Tedford’s team gets a whole lot better in a week’s time, the next two games could be really ugly. I don’t see any way Cal avoids a 1-3 start to the season, which would make a winning record difficult the rest of the way.

Cal’s sluggish starts at their brand new home the last two weeks is troubling to say the least. Why a bunch of young guys with gorgeous new facilities shouldn’t come steaming out of the tunnel ready to do some damage is beyond me.”

You would think so John…….right?

After a win over I-AA Southern Utah and a score after three quarters of…

California – 20
Southern Utah – 17

…we got a call from a Cal-alum friend of ours who was sitting in Cal’s beautiful new Memorial Stadium as we were watching games from around the country and getting ready to head out for the Duke – Stanford game on The Farm and that Cal-alum friend says:

“The players don’t give a Damn if they win or lose this game. They really don’t care at all!”

CHS:  “What does that mean?”

Cal-alum friend:  “They are playing like they have been coached by NOBODY!”

CHS:  “Well, where else can you make almost $3 million dollars a year while having a losing conference record over the past few years?”

Cal-alum friend:  “I don’t know but Mr. Rogers has more fire than this Cal coaching staff!”

CHS:  “Hey, Cal AD Sandy Barbour said Tedford is an Icon!”

Cal-alum friend:  “We will see about that icon stuff the next two weeks at Ohio State and USC and into conference play.”

CHS:  “Hey, if Arizona State beats Illinois tonight (they crushed the Illini later that night) that opening Pac-12 home game in Berkeley against the Sun Devils could be tough!”

Cal-alum friend:  “If Tedford loses to Ohio State, USC, Arizona State and UCLA his head coaching career at Cal is OVER !”

Well, the task is clear enough for Jeff Tedford. Survive against Ohio State and USC on the road if don’t beat them (No chance of that happening!) and for Damn sure don’t lose to Arizona State and UCLA in Berkeley because losses to two Pac-12 teams that have been in the basement that have first-year coaches would make Sandy Barbour’s “icon” comment look like the stupidest thing uttered since “W” put on the flight suit to act like some kind of tough man and land on an aircraft carrier (remember George W. Bush supported the war in Vietnam but for some reason thought hiding his precious ass in a Air National Guard unit in Texas 10,000 miles from the fighting was the best way he could help America win the war over the Viet Cong!) and put up a banner that said and then he claimed that as for the war in Iraq…

“Mission Accomplished!”

Oh, the Freaking Damn Stupidity!

Uhhhhh, “W” there are several folks here at Coaches Hot Seat that fought a short conflict in the Middle East called Operation Desert Storm in 1991 and before we claimed “Mission Accomplished” we made Damn sure that the Freaking Damn Mission was accomplished! Ditto to Sandy Barbour on the “Icon” comment on Jeff Tedford who is rapidly turning into a mediocre coach who it seems can’t even get his football team fired up to play well in the opening of a stadium that cost Hundreds of Millions of Dollars to renovate that was paid for by the same people that are paying Jeff Tedford’s salary….THE CAL ALUMNI AND FANS!

3.  Robb Akey, Idaho – The BIG problem for Robb Akey and his Idaho Vandals isn’t their 0 – 2 start to the 2012 season BUT rather who is up next….

LSU in Baton Rouge!

Got 0 – 3 start to the 2012 season Robb Akey? Thought so!

While LSU is playing their THIRD Cupcake of the 2012 season, North Texas already with Idaho and mighty I-AA Towson still on the Cupcake plate, Robb Akey has a very Damn serious problem on his hands because there is at least a 50 – 50 chance that Idaho doesn’t win a game the rest of the year with…

At LSU
Wyoming
At North Carolina
New Mexico State
At Texas State
At La. Tech
San Jose State
At BYU
Texas – San Antonio
At Utah State

…left on the schedule.

OK, we give Idaho a shot at beating New Mexico State, San Jose State and Texas San Antonio at home BUT that would add up to 3 wins and 9 losses and that is after a 2 – 10 record by the Vandals in 2011!

Yes, even the tough I-AA Big Sky Conference is looking mighty Damn attractive for Idaho from where we sit which Idaho might just be able to dominate with their experience in I-A football OR the folks in Moscow can just continue to get their heads banged in at the Major College Football Big Boy Table!

4.  John L. Smith, Arkansas – As that La. Tech QB ran the ball towards the endzone for the winning touchdown over Arkansas in overtime on Saturday Arkansas fans everywhere must have been thinking something like….

“This is happening because Bobby Freaking Petrino was fooling around with a blonde and even riding around the Arkansas countryside without a helmet on with her on the back of the Damn bike!”

We have to agree. Before the season we here at CHS picked Arkansas to go 6 – 6 (2-6 in SEC play) and those 6 wins INCLUDED a win over La. Monroe at home which means either we are crazy or all of America is about to see the best team talent wise in college football history that ended up with a losing record and all because Bobby Freaking Petrino was riding around the Arkansas countryside with a blond on the back of his Damn bike!

Well, that’s not quite EVERYTHING….but you get our drift!

The past few weeks have been very tough for John L. Smith with the bankruptcy and now losing to lowly La. Monroe (even playing in the Sun Belt La. Monroe has had a losing record in conference play over the past two years under Todd Berry) and wouldn’t you know it Smith’s bad luck continues because the Alabama Crimson Tide is coming to town and why do we get the feeling that anything less than a 30 point win over the Hogs is going to piss off Nick Saban? Because it is so!

Of course, John L. Smith has a card to play now with the loss to La. Monroe and that card is that Bama probably doesn’t respect the Hogs anymore and Arkansas can go 1 – 0 in SEC play if they win on Saturday over Saban’s Boys…..BUT…..it is in our opinion take a superhuman effort by Arkansas to beat Alabama mainly because the flat-out truth is that….

John L. Smith is NO Bobby Petrino

…and since the Bear knew well that “Football is a coach’s game and always has been,” Arkansas is just not “coached-up” like they used to be and that is why we see the Arkansas football season turning into a Complete Freaking Disaster that started with La. Monroe beating the Hogs last Saturday and Alabama BEATING the Hogs this Saturday so badly that when you call those pigs…

….those pigs will not come-a-running because they will be in hiding!

Hey, we just found this very entertaining video on YouTube.com titled…

Bobby Petrino: Behind the Coach

Oh, that’s funny and WE KNOW who Bobby Petrino is!

Hey, that’s a cute blonde in the above report as well……Makes you go Hmmmmmmm…doesn’t it?

5.  Dan Enos, Central Michigan – After beating I-AA Southeast Missouri State in Week 1 Dan Enos and his Central Michigan team got whipped by Enos former coach and team Mark Dantonio and Michigan State 41 – 7 on Saturday to run CMU’s season record to 1 – 1….BUT….here’s the bad news which is CMU’s upcoming schedule:

At Iowa
At Northern Illinois
At Toledo

Ouch!

Dan Enos is now 7 – 19 overall and 4 – 12 in MAC play in three seasons at Central Michigan and the biggest thing working against Enos are the records of the two head coaches that preceded him at CMU:

Butch Jones – 2 MAC Conference Titles
Overall: 27 – 13
MAC: 20 – 3

Brian Kelly – 1 MAC Conference Title
Overall: 19 – 16
MAC: 15 – 9

Yes, there is a very good reason that Dan Enos is on the Hot Seat and that REASON is that the CMU football program is going backwards under Enos and either Enos will stop that backwards slide or the folks at CMU will be forced to go out and find a new head coach that can bring the program back to where it was under Jones and Kelly and those are just the cold, hard facts about being a head football coach in Major College Football in 2012.

PERIOD.

6.  Randy Edsall, Maryland – Maryland got a nice win for Randy Edsall against a pretty tough Temple team on Saturday that should end up winning 9 or 10 games in 2012….BUT….things only get tougher for Edsall and the Terrapins as Connecticut comes calling to College Park this coming Saturday and you and we just know that UConn is a team that Edsall really wants to beat!

OK, let’s say that Maryland beats UConn on Saturday in another close game that would give Edsall a 3 – 0 start to the 2012 season and we still believe that if the Terrapins can get to 6 wins a bowl game it will be a minor miracle after the disaster that was last year and the remaining games are:

At West Virginia
Wake Forest
At Virginia
NC State
At Boston College
Georgia Tech
At Clemson
Florida State
At North Carolina

YES, if Randy Edsall gets Maryland to 6 wins in 2012 he will NOT be on the Hot Seat going into the 2013 season

BUT

If Maryland falls to pieces on Saturday against UConn and stumbles to a 3 or 4 wins this season NASA might as well strap some instruments to Randy’s rear-end because his ass will be the closest thing to the Sun on Earth and that will be phenomenon that NASA just cannot pass up doing plenty of research on while saving Billions of Dollars on satellites to the Sun in the process!

7.  Mike Riley, Oregon State – Mike Riley and his Beavers got a big win over hapless Big Ten conference member Wisconsin on Saturday and we say hapless because if Bret Bielema and the Badgers didn’t know it Pac-12 and lots of other teams have RUN ALL OVER Oregon State’s defense in recent years and the Badgers can only get….

35 Rushing Yards on 23 attempts?

Uhhhh, forget about that Wisconsin “being tough” BS because like Nebraska in the Rose Bowl on Saturday against UCLA the Badgers (and the Cornhuskers) would have had a tough time getting many yards on the ground against the Coaches Hot Seat flag-football team which will pop you in the mouth which automatically means that the Wisconsin and Nebraska offensive lines would go to the sidelines and start crying for their Mammas!

How about this other statistic for Wisconsin?

2 – 14 on third downs!

Geez, if a blind, drunken stumblebum had been calling Wisconsin’s offensive plays on Saturday against Oregon State would he had done worse or better than the current UW coaches?

BETTER!

Here’s the REALLY scary thing for college football fans everywhere…

Wisconsin plays at Nebraska on September 29 which should be one Helluva pillow fight with the first team that actually hits the other team with a pillow being declared the winner!

Oh, while we are on the Big Ten the word from our buddies from Nebraska who were enjoying a few drinks in Malibu on Saturday night after their Huskers got whipped by UCLA is that there is more hitting at the Coaches Hot Seat flag football games than at Bo Pelini’s practices and that they would be shocked if anyone ever left a Nebraska practice for an injury with anything more than a hang-nail in recent years!

Here’s a thought for Bo Pelini and Bret Bielema:  This is the game of FOOTBALL and if you going to practice tiddlywinks then why in the Hell do you think your teams would actually play FOOTBALL on Saturday?

Silence from the land of the tiddlywinks!

Back to Oregon State and Mike Riley the Beavers play a rejuvenated UCLA team under Jim Mora in two weeks which means that unlike the Wisconsin game the Beavers will actually play a team that will cross the line of scrimmage and hit them as if they are playing the game of FOOTBALL!

After UCLA the Beavers travel to Arizona and if Mike Riley’s team can go 1 – 1 in those two games we will just have to take Mike off the Hot Seat!

Oh, by the way….

Mike Pereira of FoxSports.com thinks Wisconsin got ripped off on their attempted, recovered and overturned on-side kick-off at the end of the Oregon State game:

Badgers’ final shot ripped by refs, FoxSports.com

Looks like Mike has a good point there but that doesn’t change the FACT that Wisconsin gained….

35 Rushing Yards on 23 attempts!

8.  Tommy Tuberville, Texas Tech – Tommy Tuberville avoided the disaster that would have been losing to Texas State on Saturday and now Tubbs is at 2 – 0 just as we predicted before the year and we expect the Red Raiders to move to 3 – 0 against New Mexico and their new head coach Bob Davie in Week 3. After the Lobos Texas Tech has…

At Iowa State
Oklahoma
West Virginia
At TCU
At Kansas State
Texas
Kansas
At Oklahoma State
Baylor

Oh, that’s a tough slate of games and our friends in West Texas that are still so enamored with Pirate Mike Leach that they are going to join us on The Farm (Stanford University campus) on October 27 for the Washington State – Stanford game tell us that….

“Tuberville needs 7 wins this season to return for 2013. Six wins or less and we see if Sonny Dykes wants to come home and if not there is that kid at Clemson….what’s his name…”

CHS:  “Chad Morris, the OC at Clemson?”

Texas Tech alum:  “Yea, Chad Morris. Now we know he would take the Tech job!”

Uhhhhh, Tommy, we would recommend you get Little Debbie Boy on the phone in Memphis and see if he can get something lined-up with ESPN for the 2013 football season….OR….win 5 of the next 10 games!

9.  Derek Dooley, Tennessee – Do you want to know what kind of credit you get at Coaches Hot Seat for beating a team like Georgia State otherwise known as a Big-Time Cupcake….

NONE, ZILCH, ZERO, NADA!

…which means that Derek Dooley is still on the Hot Seat as the Florida Gators get ready for a trip to Knoxville which will also see the ESPN GameDay crew show-up with their traveling road circus and why do we have the sneaking suspicion that Coach Corso is going to be working with another dog this week when he does his pick of the Florida – Tennessee game?

Florida and Will Muschamp got a nice win over Texas A&M on Saturday as the Aggies offense went into hibernation in the second half at Kyle Field (is there something in the water there in College Station because this is becoming a real trend of second-half collapses in Aggieland!) and now the Gators can make another statement with another big road win and don’t you just know that former Saban coaches Muschamp and Dooley both REALLY want this win?

If Derek Dooley and his Vols beat the Gators Dooley will be off the Hot Seat and more than likely 4 – 0 (after beating Akron in Week 4) heading to playing Georgia in Athens in Week 5 which should be a most entertaining game with Vince Dooley no doubt sitting at his palatial house a few miles from Sanford Stadium decked out in Orange and White and looking a Helluva lot like General Robert Neyland when he roamed the sidelines of…..Neyland Stadium! As for what Derek’s mom Barbara Dooley will be wearing we are guessing Orange and White as well only that Barbara will be roaming around the luxury booths at Sanford Stadium telling anyone that will listen that…

“My baby is taking the Vols to the SEC Championship Game!  Go Vols!”

Now let’s see if we can get this straight…

Vince and Barbara Dooley went to Auburn

Vince Dooley was the head coach at Georgia

Derek Dooley went to Georgia (and Virginia Law School Barbara won’t let you forget!)

Derek Dooley is the head coach at Tennessee

Geez, this is more Damn confusing than the movie Deliverance which many of us west coasters here at Coaches Hot Seat are still trying to figure out….

Now what exactly happened to the character played by Ned Beatty in Deliverance? Were the characters that “interacted” with Ned Beatty just Arkansas fans and they were just calling the Hogs?

Geez, this is all just very Damn confusing!

The best lines in the movie Deliverance was at the end when the Sheriff looked into the car and told the characters played by Jon Voight and Ned Beatty:

SHERIFF
“Don’t ever do anything like this again. Don’t come back up here.”

Jon Voight’s character:
“You don’t have to worry about that. You act like you’re telling a hired gun to get out of town. But we’re all bow and arrow men.”

NO, don’t think we would be going back there again!

By the way…

Doesn’t Nick Saban have a house on Lake Burton near where Deliverance was filmed?

Now that could explain a few things like why Saban is so ornery all the time!

Deliverance Trailer

Deliverance Dueling Banjos

Oh, and getting back to Derek Dooley….

Dooley and the Vols REALLY need to beat the Gators and Will Muschamp on Saturday!

10.  Joker Phillips, Kentucky – Joker Phillips and his Wildcats got their MUST Win over Kent State on Saturday (47 – 14) and now Phillips and UK have a CANNOT LOSE game this week against Western Kentucky which just got whipped by Alabama and will probably be looking for a place to redeem themselves and just in time is the team they would like to beat most of all the…

Kentucky Wildcats!

We have lots of ties to Western Kentucky head coach Willie Taggart who played QB at WKU and later coached for Jack Harbaugh at WKU and for Jim Harbaugh at Stanford before taking over the Hilltoppers head coaching job himself so we will be pulling for Willie on Saturday which doesn’t mean BUMPKIS relative to Joker Phillips being on the Hot Seat but it does provide us some perspective on just how much WKU would like to beat the Wildcats.

Beating WKU is MUST for Kentucky because of what they have remaining on the schedule…

At Florida
South Carolina
Mississippi State
At Arkansas
Georgia
At Missouri
Vanderbilt
Samford
At Tennessee

….and since we think Kentucky will beat Samford how exactly they are going to find 3 or 4 more wins (depending on the WKU – UK game results) and get the Wildcats to a bowl game is a mystery to us because that is one Damn tough schedule that Kentucky has lined-up and a second straight season without a bowl game when Phillips took over a team from Rich Brooks that went to 4 straight bowl games would be mighty disappointing to the folks in Lexington….until basketball season starts that is!

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