COACHES HOT SEAT BLOG

2012 Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Tell them like it is Johnny!

1.  Frank Spaziani, Boston College – In the 12 seasons before Frank Spaziani took over as the head coach at BC in 2009 the Eagles WON…

95 Games

….under former head coaches Tom O’Brien and Jeff Jagodzinski which is an average of…

7.92 wins a season

After the third game of his fourth season Frank Spaziani’s overall record at BC is…

21 – 21

….and if BC did find a way to get to .500 in 2012 that means Spaziani would be averaging…

6.5 wins a season

….and if that isn’t taking Boston College in the WRONG direction then what the Hell is?

Oh, by the way Boston College has played two REAL football teams in 2012, Miami and Northwestern, and they lost both of those games and the Eagles now have left…

Clemson
At Army
At Florida State
At Georgia Tech
Maryland
At Wake Forest
Notre Dame
Virginia Tech
At NC State

Uhhhhh, if Frank Spaziani does find 5 wins out of the remaining 9 games maybe BC should keep him around because that is one Helluva tough schedule!

Oh, a BC-alum friend of ours is on Line 2 and he just said that its time for Boston College to get Oregon head coach Chip Kelly’s agent on the phone and offer Kelly $4 Million a year to return to New England and revitalize the Boston College football program?

Better make that $5 Million a year and expect Nike founder Phil Knight to offer $6 Million a year to Kelly to stay in Eugene BUT Boston is a very nice town especially when you are making $5 Million a year!

2.  John L. Smith, Arkansas – If there was justice in this world some enterprising attorney in the state of Arkansas would figure out a way to sue Bobby Petrino’s Sorry Ass for the Destruction of the Arkansas football program for a cute but not that great-of-a-looking blonde floozy and Hell after that Alabama beatdown there might just be a judge in Arkansas that would consider putting case on the docket!

A few weeks ago when we predicted that the mighty Arkansas Razorbacks under John L. Smith to go 6 – 6 in 2012 (counting beating La. Monroe!) a few Arkansas fans emailed us here at Coaches Hot Seat and said we were “out of our Freaking minds” because “a monkey could coach Arkansas to 10 wins in 2012!”

Yes, if Arkansas AD Jeff Long had hired a monkey to coach Arkansas in 2012 he might indeed have coached Arkansas to 10 wins….BUT…Arkansas AD Jeff Long hired not the monkey BUT…

John L. Smith!

Luckily for a lot of reasons a few of us here at Coaches Hot Seat have some great friends in Ft. Smith, Arkansas….

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…that are not only some of the best people we know alive on this Earth right now BUT they are also lifelong University of Arkansas football and basketball fans and when we say these folks…

Live and Die

….with what happens on the football field and basketball court with Arkansas sports we mean they…

Live and Freaking Die!

In late April of this year right after Bobby Petrino was sent packing and Arkansas AD Jeff Long hired John L. Smith to take over what has to be one of the Top 10 Most Talented football programs in Major College Football in 2012 one of our good Ft. Smith, Arkansas friends was up near Fayetteville on business and he had lunch with some of his longtime “contacts” at the University of Arkansas and after that lunch meeting he called a CHS member that night and said:

“This season under John L. Smith is going to be a Freaking disaster!” (Freaking changed from another common word in the English language!)

CHS:  “Why do you say that?”

Ft. Smith, Arkansas friend:  “Because there is NO ONE running the Arkansas football program! This is going to be a Freaking disaster! Man, if I could just talk with Bobby Petrino for five minutes I would give him a piece of my mind, but they would have to have me tied down with ropes to do that because if my hands and legs were not tied down….Oh, I shudder to think about that….”

CHS:  “So no one is running the Arkansas football program?”

Ft. Smith, Arkansas friend:  “NO ONE! And it gets worse…..there are several Arkansas coaches that believe they are going to run the table this season! Man, I need a drink!”

CHS:  “Sounds like you have already had a few drinks!”

Ft. Smith, Arkansas friend:  “Well, Hell, we have one head coach who has us going good and then we come to find out he is exchanging hundreds of text messages to some broad that is NOT his wife and now we have another head coach that is doing even better and he is riding around the Arkansas countrywide on an Arkansas-themed Harley-Davidson not wearing a helmet with a blonde on the back who is also NOT his wife! Come on Man! Now we have a head coach that is a strange combination of Rodney Dangerfield, PT Barnum and Pee Wee Herman and I have some serious concerns that if he went into to see a doctor for a check-up that he would be immediately committed to the local loony bin!

CHS:  “Why do I get the feeling that a bottle of Maker’s Mark is about to meet its untimely demise?”

Ft. Smith, Arkansas friend:  “Maker’s Mark? Hell, I drink that when I am happy! After that trip to Fayetteville today it will Old No. 7….Jack Daniels… is what I will be drinking!”

CHS:  “Well, good luck with that and Alabama will be in town on September 15!”

Ft. Smith, Arkansas friend:  “Don’t remind me. That Damn Saban will beat the mental patient and the Hogs like a drum!”

Well, there you have it and why we picked Arkansas to go 6 – 6 this year and with the Hogs now sitting at 1 – 2 after a loss to La. Monroe and getting the Holy Crap beat out of them by Alabama in a game where the Arkansas football team just…

FLAT OUT QUIT

….and thanks to Tyler Wilson for telling the TRUTH of what happened to Arkansas against Bama the Hogs have left…

Rutgers
At Texas A&M
AT Auburn
Kentucky
Ole Miss
Tulsa
At South Carolina
At Mississippi State
LSU

….and we here at Coaches Hot Seat are doing an in-season revision of the Arkansas win/loss record in 2012.

We used to think that Arkansas would go 6 – 6 in 2012

NOW….we believe Arkansas will finish at…

4 – 8

Come on Arkansas fans. Can we get a little….

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
“PIG!”
“SOOIE!”
“RAZORBACKS!”

Oh, there is an attorney on Line 3 calling from Little Rock that wants to thank us for giving him the idea of suing that Piss-Ant Bobby Petrino on the behalf of the People of Arkansas for the Millions of Dollars in lost revenue because the Arkansas football program IS imploding and the Hogs will NOT be going to a big-time bowl game or even the national title game in 2012 because Bobby liked riding around on Arkansas-themed Harley-Davidsons without a helmet on with a kinda hot blonde on the back?

Ask that attorney if he is working pro-bono on this suing of Bobby Petrino case?

Oh, he wants his usual 33 percent cut on any monies won in the case?

That’s the ONLY thing that makes any sense in the state of Arkansas right now!

3.  Robb Akey, Idaho – After the 63 – 14 loss to LSU on Saturday Robb Akey’s record at Idaho is now..

Overall:  19 – 46
WAC:  9 – 30

….and we rather doubt that Idaho could win the Big Sky Conference title in 2012 forget about competing on the Major College Football level.

Hell, Idaho is a tough place to win at and with Wyoming, at North Carolina, New Mexico State, at Texas State, at La. Tech, San Jose State, at BYU, Texas-San Antonio and at Utah State left on the schedule we don’t see the Vandals winning many more games in 2012.

4.  Jeff Tedford, California – Before USC – Stanford kicked-off on Saturday we were watching the Cal – Ohio State game with great interest as the Golden Bears played the Buckeyes tough (as we predicted since we didn’t expect Urban Meyer to press things against his good friend Jeff Tedford) and late in the 4 th quarter with Cal having the ball at the Ohio State 25 yard line on 4 th down and 1 yard to go with 4:20 left to go in the game Cal head coach Jeff Tedford decided to try for a field goal even though the Bears placekicker Vincenzo D’Amato has already missed two field goals BADLY earlier in the day and guess what?

Vincenzo D’Amato MISSED his third-field goal try of the day from 42 yard out BADLY!

Sorry, on the road at Ohio State as a heavy underdog, with an iffy field-goal kicker that had already missed two field-goals, with 4:20 left to go in the game and the ball on the Ohio State 25 yard line and 4 th down and 1 yard to go doesn’t ANY coach with a lick of sense….

GO FOR THE FIRST DOWN?

Hell, even if Cal had made the field goal does anyone with a lick of sense believe the Cal defense would have been able to keep Ohio State from scoring a touchdown on the next possession with Urban Meyer going crazy on the sidelines as he suddenly realizes that a loss to Cal would end his honeymoon in Columbus and the local press was going to light his rear-end up for losing to a team that loss to Nevada at home?

Please, there is a Very Damn Good Reason that Jeff Tedford is on the HOT SEAT and Saturday in Columbus, Ohio was another example of why Tedford’s rear-end is on fire BUT as a Cal-alumnus said after seeing Cal lose to Ohio State while tailgating with us before the USC – Stanford game:

“I don’t know if Sandy Barbour (Cal AD) really cares about winning…..anything….forget about Cal football being expected to win games and to compete for the Pac-12 title every year.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….is all we will say to that.

As for Jeff Tedford and Cal the Golden Bears have left…

At USC
Arizona State
UCLA
At Washington State
Stanford
At Utah
Washington
Oregon
At Oregon State

(Uhhhhh, is there someone at the Pac-12 Conference offices that could explain to us why the Big Game is being played in the middle of October? Geez, now that is STUPID!)

YES, Cal now at 1 – 2 on the year has some very tough games left and if Tedford can get to 6 – 6 in 2012 that just might make at least some of the Cal alums and fans happy and according to our Cal-alum friend that will make Cal AD Sandy Barbour ecstatic!

5.  Randy Edsall, Maryland – The results of the game between UConn and Maryland on Saturday…

UConn – 24
Maryland – 21

…confirms to us that there is a Powerful All-Seeing Force in the Universe that believes in KARMA with a capital K and there was no better example of Bad KARMA than Randy Edsall losing to his former team that he left in the middle of the night at the home-field of the team that Randy Edsall left in the middle of the night to take over.

Yes, Randy Edsall, KARMA IS A BITCH!

Here’s the REAL problem though…

Maryland is now 2 – 1 on the season and they have left…

At West Virginia
Wake Forest
At Virginia
NC State
At Boston College
Georgia Tech
At Clemson
Florida State
At North Carolina

…and although the Terrapins have enough talent to win 4 of the remaining 9 games and get to a bowl game what Maryland’s 2012 football season is going to come down to is IF Randy Edsall can rally his football team to play hard each and every week for HIM or as the Great Eddie Robinson characterized what being a head football coach was all about:

“Leadership, like coaching, is fighting for the hearts and souls of men and getting them to believe in you.”

The BAD KARMA has bitten YOUR ass Randy Edsall and now the rest of Maryland’s football season is up to….YOU. PERIOD.

As a former well-known Major College Football coach told us a few years ago about the being on the Hot Seat at Coaches Hot Seat:

“Coaches are the ones that get their asses on the Hot Seat and they are the ONLY ones that can get their asses off of it!”

Amen to that!

6.  Derek Dooley, Tennessee – As the Great baseball player and manager Frank Robinson once rightly observed…

“Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

….which MOST certainly applies to the Tennessee Vols and their head coach Derek Dooley on Saturday night as the Vols played…GOOD….but not GOOD ENOUGH to beat the Gators and why do we think that loss to Florida might end up being a very painful loss come December for the Vols?

Let’s go to what Tennessee has left on the schedule:

Akron

At Georgia – Probably a loss even with Barbara Dooley wearing Orange and White and roaming through Sanford Stadium and telling anyone that will listen that…

“My baby is taking Tennessee to the SEC Championship Game! Go Vols!”

Memo to Barbara Dooley:  Have you seen Tennessee’s and “Your baby’s” schedule for the rest of the year?

At Mississippi State
Alabama
At South Carolina
Troy
Missouri
At Vanderbilt
Kentucky

Memo to No. 2 to Barbara Dooley:  “Baby” is more than likely going to get his ass whipped by a few teams this year and the last time we checked a team with a losing record in conference play hasn’t ever gone to the SEC Championship Game!

Hey, Tennessee has a nice team BUT please can someone explain to us this why everyone thinks Tyler Bray is a good quarterback?

Yes, Tyler Bray can throw beer bottles and a football a long way but could he hit the side of a barn with a beer bottle or football from 30 feet away?

In our opinion: Not very Damn likely!

Here’s a thought for Tyler Bray: Receivers with 3 or 4 people around them are NOT OPEN and should not have the ball thrown to them and ANY MORON could just throw the ball up for grabs every down. QUARTERBACKS throw the ball to their teammates that are OPEN!

7.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson is in his second season at Indiana and his Overall Record is…

3 – 12

…and the three teams that the Hoosiers have beaten under Wilson are:

2011
I-AA South Carolina State

2012
I-AA Indiana State
First Year I-A team Massachusetts

On Saturday the Hoosiers lost to one of the two teams that we thought Indiana would beat in 2012, Ball State, and now head coach Wilson and the Hoosiers are now staring at:

At Northwestern
Michigan State
Ohio State
At Navy
At Illinois
Iowa
Wisconsin
At Penn State
At Purdue

Ouch! This looks like this going to be a long season for Indiana football fans…BUT….keep your head up! Basketball season is just around the corner!

8.  Dan Enos, Central Michigan – Dan Enos and his Central Michigan team had this past Saturday off BUT at 1 – 1 on the season CMU has coming up next….

At Iowa
At Northern Illinois
At Toledo
Navy
Ball State
Akron
Western Michigan
At Eastern Michigan
Miami (Ohio)
At Massachusetts

Oh, this could get very Damn Freaking ugly for Dan Enos and Central Michigan UNLESS they start playing a Helluva lot better football!

9.  Joker Phillips, Kentucky – To say we here at Coaches Hot Seat were THRILLED to see Willie Taggart’s Western Kentucky team beat Kentucky on Saturday would be a BIG understatement because of Willie’s time on Jim Harbaugh’s staff at Stanford BUT what made Kentucky’s loss to Western Kentucky significant for UK head coach Joker Phillips was that SEC Conference member Kentucky football CANNOT LOSE to Western Kentucky especially in Lexington and unfortunately after losing that CANNOT LOSE game to the Hilltoppers up next for the Wildcats is…..

The Florida Gators in Gainesville!

Oh, that hurts us 2,000 miles away from Lexington!

After Florida it doesn’t get any easier for the Wildcats…

South Carolina
Mississippi State
At Arkansas
Georgia
At Missouri
Vanderbilt
Samford
At Tennessee

After looking at those remaining games we have a recommendation for Joker Phillips: You better get your Wildcats playing some MUCH BETTER football because 8 of your remaining 9 games are against teams that are MUCH BETTER than Western Kentucky!

10.  Mike Riley, Oregon State – Sitting at the very nice 1 – 0 on the season Mike Riley and his Oregon State football team travel to Los Angeles this week to play UCLA which is off to a nice 3 – 0 start under first year coach Jim Mora.

Can Oregon State beat UCLA in the Rose Bowl?

Well, that is a hard question to answer BUT Oregon State will be the FIRST FOOTBALL TEAM that UCLA will play in 2012 since Rice, Nebraska and Houston were all playing Tiddlywinks against the Bruins!

Here’s a thought for Oregon State for the UCLA game:  Go out and POP the Bruins in the mouth and see if they really want to play FOOTBALL or if they are only interested in playing and beating teams that are playing Tiddlywinks!

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