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Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat MUST Win Games for Coaches and Teams – USC Athletic Director Pat Haden and Larry David’s Therapist!

Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat MUST Win Games for Coaches and Teams

Mack Brown, Texas vs. TCU – Texas is now on a four game winning streak with wins over…

Baylor, Kansas, Texas Tech and Iowa State

….but with the ‘Horns record now at 8 – 2 Texas needs to finish strong because 8 wins at Texas is just flat-out NOT GOOD ENOUGH for Texas football.

Mack Brown and Texas host new Big 12 member TCU on Thanksgiving Day in Austin and if there is a game that Brown and the ‘Horns CANNOT afford to lose it is against “little brother” TCU especially since the Horned Frogs are 6 – 4 on the season and without their starting QB so in TRUTH this should be a….

Slam Dunk WIN

….for Texas on Turkey Day and with Kansas State still on the schedule to finish the season a loss to TCU in this spot would be very painful to fans of Texas football and to Mack Brown as well.

Steve Addazio, Temple vs. Syracuse – Steve Addazio is now…

Overall:  13 – 10
MAC and Big East:  7 – 7

…in two seasons at Temple and if Addazio wants to stay off the Hot Seat throughout 2013 then beating Syracuse on Saturday is a MUST Win Game.

Syracuse is coming off a big but tough win against Missouri and the Orangemen may be beat-up as they head into this game against Temple and thus why the Owls and Addazio need to jump all over Syracuse and end the 2012 season on an UP note instead of a loss which would be a BIG DOWN note!

Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Nebraska – A few of us here at Coaches Hot Seat were watching a tape of the Iowa – Michigan game from this past Saturday and it looked to us that the Iowa Hawkeyes football team…


…in the second half against the Wolverines and one would think a head coach at Iowa making over $3.5 Million Dollars a year could at least field a football team that would NOT…


…against Michigan…..right?

YES, it seems so but then it is our opinion that Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz has…


…coaching the Iowa Hawkeyes so why in the Hell wouldn’t the Iowa football team quit as well?

Iowa is now at 4 – 7 on the season and 2 – 5 in Big Ten play and they play at Nebraska on Saturday and Bo Pelini and the Cornhuskers shouldn’t have too much trouble in this game since it isn’t hard to beat a football team where BOTH the players AND head coach have…


Les Miles, LSU vs. Arkansas – After a tough win over a surging Mississippi football program under Hugh Freeze Tigers head coach Les Miles and his LSU football team have put up a another solid season at 9 – 2 overall and 5 – 2 in SEC play….BUT….a loss in the last game of the season at Arkansas which has a lame-duck head coach would be a Complete Disaster and would just piss off the Crocodile Hunters and Coon Asses in Louisiana again and Miles doesn’t want that especially since Les just went through an entire offseason with the Crocodile Hunters and Coon Asses pissed off at him which means…

DON’T LOSE to Arkansas on Saturday Les Miles!

Kyle Whittingham, Utah vs. Colorado – In two seasons of playing in the Pac-12 Conference Kyle Whittingham and his Utes have put up a record of…

Overall:  12 – 112
Pac-12:  6 – 10

….and the above are the kind of records that will land your ass on the Hot Seat and thus why Kyle Whittingham and his Utes REALLY need to beat a hapless, confused and disoriented Colorado football team on Saturday in Boulder.

IF Utah loses to Colorado on Saturday which would the second straight year that the Utes would have lost to the Buffs we will have to decide which is the WORST football team in the Pac-12….

Utah or Washington State

…and if that thought doesn’t focus Kyle Whittingham’s mind then nothing will!

Jon Embree, Colorado vs. Utah – Kyle Ringo of the Boulder Daily Camera wrote a very revealing column about the current state of Colorado football right now this week…

CU Buffs officials face difficult decision on Jon Embree, Boulder Daily Camera

…..and we certainly don’t envy the “leadership” at the University of Colorado because they do face a tough decision on the future of Colorado football because the athletic director, school president and top alumni and boosters at CU have no opportunity to have an impact on the success of the Colorado football program because it is ONLY head coach Jon Embree that can either figure out in a hurry how to make Buffs football better OR Colorado football will have another tough season in 2013 which is no cakewalk with the Buffs having to play…

Colorado State, Central Arkansas and Fresno State out-of-conference


Arizona, California, Oregon and USC at home in Boulder


Arizona State, Oregon State, UCLA, Utah and Washington on the road

In two seasons at Colorado the Buffs under Jon Embree have won…

4 Games

…and in order for Jon Embree and Colorado to make a dramatic jump in WINS in 2013 meaning 6 wins or better to get to a postseason bowl the CU football program would have to make one of the BIGGER turnarounds in post-World War II college football history and from our study of college football teams that have had that kind of BIG turnaround the first few months of the new head coach taking over were very unpleasant for the players on the team because of how much the new head coach challenged the team to improve with the players that did not want to take on that challenge being thrown-off or run-off from the football program by that new head coach and staff.

The problem is that Jon Embree will be entering his THIRD season at Colorado in 2013 and from our perspective standing behind the Colorado bench a few weeks ago in Boulder during the Stanford – Colorado game (Stanford 48 – Colorado 0) we saw a Buffs football squad that hasn’t been challenged in years in any kind of meaningful way and the FACT that Jon Embree is entering his THIRD season will only making challenging the Buffs in a meaningful way right now all that more difficult because the Colorado football players would now be shocked that a head coach that they thought they knew would become a “heavy” that would be asking for things from his players that he has never asked for from his players in the past.

The Colorado game against Utah on Saturday will be Jon Embree’s 24 th CU football game and if the Buffs end us losing by the average they have lost games this season…

30 Points or more

…..then one has to ask the question….

“Is Colorado football WORSE right now than it was when Jon Embree arrived in December 2010?”

By almost any measure we look at the answer to that question is…


….Colorado football is WORSE right now than it was when Jon Embree arrived two years ago which really makes Utah a MUST WIN Game because whether Jon Embree realizes it or not the clock is running out on his time at Colorado and the days of coaches being given YEARS to turnaround football programs are OVER because a REAL turnaround will start showing up on Day One of the new head coach’s arrival as thing begin to happen behind the scenes of a football program and most certainly will show-up in the First Game of the new head coach’s tenure.

One vibe we here at Coaches Hot Seat did pick-up on when we were in Boulder for the Stanford – Colorado game a few weeks back was that there seems to be…


….by the folks in Colorado athletics and the coaches on the Colorado football team to get things turned around and a comment that we heard one time if we heard it 100 times from people at or around the Colorado football program went something like….

“Bill McCartney turned around the Buffs so Jon Embree will as well.”

….and to that comment we can only….

Keep Freaking Dreaming

…if you like because 2012 is NOT 1985 and from what we saw in Boulder Jon Embree is NO Bill McCartney because one of the first things that Bill McCartney required of his Buffs football teams was that they BE IN SHAPE and we just don’t think the Colorado football team is in very good shape at least for 18 – 22 year olds who should be in the best shape of their lives and doing things like this….

….to get ready to play and win in the Pac-12 Conference.

IF the “leadership” of the University of Colorado called us here at Coaches Hot Seat to takeover the Colorado football program one thing for Damn sure the Buffs football team would be filled with players that would HATE US COACHES WITH A PASSION as soon as winter conditioning started and they would DISLIKE US COACHES EVEN MORE during Fall camp but for Damn sure when that first game against Colorado State rolled around on August 31, 2013 the fans of Colorado football would first of all NOT recognize one of the best conditioned teams in the country when it ran on the field for the game against the Rams and they certainly the Hell would not recognize the Buffs when they started popping Colorado State in the mouth from the first play of the game and ALL game long.

Can Jon Embree deliver that kind of Colorado football team to the field for the Colorado State game on August 31, 2013?

IF HE CAN’T then the University of Colorado needs to find themselves a new….



Dan Enos, Central Michigan vs. Massachusetts – Dan Enos took over a very good football program at Central Michigan from the previous two coaches in Brian Kelly and Butch Jones but in three seasons at CMU Enos has put up records of…

2010:  3 – 9
2011:  3 – 9
2012:  5 – 6

….and now Enos and CMU need a win on Saturday against Massachusetts just to get .500 on the year and a loss in this spot to a UMass football program that is in its first year in I-A (FBS) could spell the end for Dan Enos at Central Michigan thus why this is a MUST Win Game for the Chippewas.

Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia vs. Iowa State – In one of the ugliest football games we have seen in years that included NEXT TO NO defense West Virginia lost to Oklahoma in the last few minutes of the game on Saturday night and now the Mountaineers are at 5 – 5 overall and 2 – 5 in Big 12 play with games left against…

At Iowa State

…..and if West Virginia loses this weekend to the Cyclones Dana Holgorsen might want to check on the prices of fireproof pants because his ass is going to be on the HOT SEAT!

YES, West Virginia plays Kansas in the last game of the season so even if the Mountaineers lose to Iowa State they should still get to .500 and go to a bowl game BUT the Jayhawks almost beat Texas and Texas Tech and there is no reason they couldn’t play West Virginia tough as well and thus why this Saturday’s game against Iowa State is a MUST WIN Game for Holgorsen and WVU.

Skip Holtz, USF vs. Cincinnati – We are not exactly sure WHAT is going on with South Florida football BUT over USF’s last…

20 Games

….the Bulls under Skip Holtz have…


…and now at 3 – 7 overall and 1 – 4 in Big East play South Florida desperately needs to win their last two games against…

At Cincinnati

…..to stop the 2012 season from turning into a Complete Disaster.

YES, Cincinnati is a MUST Win Game for South Florida and Skip Holtz.

Paul Johnson, Georgia Tech vs. Georgia – With a potent offensive attack Paul Johnson has somewhat righted the ship at Georgia Tech and after three straight wins to run Tech’s record to 6 – 5 overall and 5 – 3 in ACC play IF there is one win that Johnson and Yellow Jacket fans everywhere want and need desperately it is a WIN over Georgia in Athens on Saturday.

A loss to the Bulldogs and Tech’s record will drop to 6 – 6 overall and then another loss to Florida State in the ACC Championship Game would drop the Yellow Jackets to 6 – 7 and another loss in a bowl game would drop Tech’s record…..well, you get the drift….and thus why beating Georgia is so Damn important for the Ramblin’ Wreck From Georgia Tech and the Hell of a Engineers!

Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech vs. Virginia – Spotty QB play and a defense that is giving up an average of 24.8 points a game (over a touchdown more than the Va. Tech defense gave up in 2011) has turned Frank Beamer’s Hokies into just another average football team and if Va. Tech loses to Virginia on Saturday which would drop their record to 5 – 7 on the season the Virginia Tech football program will officially be….


No, this is not how Frank Beamer wants to see his College Football Hall of Fame coaching career come to an end with a loss in late November to cross-state rival Virginia which would deny the Hokies even a .500 record and a trip to a bowl game BUT unless the Virginia Tech players start playing like they actually give a Damn about their head coach and school that is exactly what might happen this Saturday.

YES, Virginia is a MUST WIN Game for Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech.

Tommy Tuberville, Texas Tech vs. Baylor – Tommy Tuberville has kind of turned things around at Texas Tech this season after the Red Raiders went 5 – 7 in 2011 and missed going to a bowl game for the first time since Spike Dykes last season at Tech in 1999 BUT a 7 – 4 record when your three out-of-conference games were against…

I-AA Northwestern State, Texas State and New Mexico

….and only a 4 – 4 record in Big 12 play is AVERAGE AT BEST and means that IF Texas Tech should lose to Baylor on Saturday Tommy Tuberville will find himself right back where he was when the season started…..on the…


Coach Hard Tubbs!

Tom O’Brien, NC State vs. Boston College – COULD NC State head coach Tom O’Brien lose his job if Boston College beats the Wolfpack in Raleigh on Saturday?

YES is the answer to that question and thus why O’Brien and NC State better not fool around and lose to a Boston College football team that is on the verge of losing their head coach who has been on the Hot Seat for two plus seasons now which is where O’Brien will find himself if the Wolfpack end up at 6 – 6 in 2012 especially since a whole lot of people picked NC State to battle for the ACC title this year.

YES, Boston College is a MUST WIN Game for Tom O’Brien….and for NC State football as well.

Gene Chizik, Auburn vs. Alabama – YES, it was less than 2 Years ago when the Auburn Tigers led by Gene Chizik WON the 2010 Bogus BCS National Title and here we are in late November 2012 and Auburn is a…

30 Point Plus UNDERDOG to Alabama in the Iron Bowl?

Please, is there ANYONE out there that can tell us what went wrong for Gene Chizik and Auburn football?

Well, on Tuesday on the ESPN program The Experts ESPN the Magazine writer and blogger Ryan McGee said: (We were only told what McGee said since we were at work so we will paraphrase what McGee said)…

“The Auburn job is tough because of all the outside noise including (Birmingham, Alabama radio talk show host) Paul Finebaum according to the administrators and coaches.”

…that Ryan McGee had polled on coaching jobs across the country.

What the Hell?

The Auburn head coaching job is tough because of the “outside noise and Paul Finebaum?”

Funny, it seems that the “outside noise and Paul Finebaum” were around in 2010 and YET….

Auburn WON the Bogus BCS National Championship!

Geez, what will the excuse be tomorrow for Gene Chizik who is about to go 0 – 8 in SEC Conference play in 2012 at Auburn Freaking University?

Two old ladies at their knitting club in ANYTOWN, Alabama agreeing that Chizik isn’t getting the job done and he needs to go?

We are going to let Ryan McGee and EVERYONE ELSE in on a little secret which is of course just our humble opinion:

Capitan Kangaroo COULD HAVE WON SIX GAMES coaching Auburn in 2012 even IF he had been forced to listen to Paul Finebaum 24 Hours A Day!

The so-called “outside noise and Paul Finebaum” excuse tossed out by administrators and coaches as a reason why the Auburn job “might not be attractive” is Complete Hogwash and just shows how many…

Candy Ass Pussies

….there are in America today that…


….to take on tough jobs and most certainly ANY Head Coaching Job in the SEC is TOUGH and if you can’t deal with working in a TOUGH Job when you are being paid Several Million Dollars to do that job then could someone explain to us how in the Hell you would have had the courage to deploy to Europe or the Pacific in World War II to defeat the Germans and Japanese?

Please, we here at Coaches Hot Seat will take the Auburn job right now and if we were such….

Candy Ass Pussies

….that would be affected by “outside noise and Paul Finebaum” that it would make it tough for us to do our job which would be to WIN Football Games at Auburn, Build Great Young Men at Auburn and Graduate Our Football Players at Auburn then you could put a BIG FAT….

Candy Ass Pussy Label

….right on our foreheads because that is what ALL of those people that told Ryan McGee that “outside noise and Paul Finebaum” made the Auburn job tough REALLY are!

Hell, you want tough?

How about we drop your Candy Ass in Afghanistan so you could fight the Taliban which are living in the 6 th century and have 21 st century weapons that will blow your ass away quicker than Bo Jackson can get into the Freaking End Zone?

Bottom-Line:  If you can’t handle “outside noise and Paul Finebaum” as the head coach of the Auburn football team then not only are you a….

Candy Ass Pussy

….you are a Sorry Ass excuse for a….

American Citizen

….as well.

As for the current state of the Auburn football program and how it got that way it is OUR opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat that Gene Chizik got…


…on those Millions of Dollars that Auburn has already paid him and has guaranteed to pay him in the future and Gene Chizik has….



“Outside noise and Paul Finebaum?”


Geez, the American Republic is doomed and marching at the head of the line are the Candy Ass Pussies otherwise known as the “administrators and coaches” that told Ryan McGee the Auburn job is “tough” because of what a few people might be saying on a Freaking talk radio show!

Someone take down the American flag because the American Republic is finished if Ryan McGee’s “sources” EVER become the majority in OUR country!

Ellis Johnson, Southern Miss vs. Memphis – We hear that things are getting mighty ugly in Hattiesburg for Ellis Johnson and that his performance in Year 1 at Southern Miss…

0 – 11

…with a game left against Memphis might indeed lead to Southern Miss making a head coaching change after only 1 Year of Ellis being on the job and when one realizes that the Golden Eagles have NOT won less than 6 in a season since 1993 we can certainly understand why the USM fans are so pissed-off right now.

Hell, Southern Miss fired Jeff Bower in 2007 after he has put up records over the previous five seasons of…

2003:  9 – 4
2004:  7 – 5
2005:  7 – 6
2006:  9 – 5
2007:  7 – 6

…..so it would not surprise us at all if “Powers That Be” at Southern Miss decided after the Memphis game to thank Ellis Johnson for his efforts and then fire his ass and then go out and hire themselves a new head football coach.

Gary Pinkel, Missouri vs. Texas A&M – Missouri has been to…

7 Straight Bowl Games

…under head coach Gary Pinkel and the Tigers won 10 games or more in 3 of their last 5 seasons BUT…..

That was in the Big 12 Conference

….and Missouri is now in the…

SEC Conference

…and Missouri is now 5 – 6 overall and 2 – 5 in SEC play as they head to College Station to play Texas A&M and Johnny Football in a game that the Tigers and Pinkel desperately need to win.

Memo to Gary Pinkel:  Get a tape of the Stanford – Oregon game from last Saturday and you will find out how to stop Johnny Football and the Texas A&M offense.

IF Missouri doesn’t stop Johnny Football and the Aggies offense then not only will Johnny Football probably win the Heisman Trophy but Gary Pinkel will probably find himself on the Hot Seat entering the 2013 football season and certainly Gary Pinkel does not want any of those things to happen!

Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. USC – After getting Notre Dame to 11 – 0 in 2012 Brian Kelly and the Irish face a mediocre USC Trojans football team on Saturday that in our opinion is one of the WORST coached teams in I-A (FBS) football so this is a game that the Irish CANNOT LOSE….right?


USC has MORE talent than Notre Dame.

USC is playing at home in the LA Coliseum against Notre Dame

USC should be embarrassed and pissed-off after losing to UCLA last Saturday

YES, USC could and probably SHOULD beat Notre Dame on Saturday and with the Irish on the brink of playing for the Bogus BCS title that makes this a MUST WIN Game for both coaches which brings us to….

Lane Kiffin, USC vs. Notre Dame – Los Angeles Times columnist T.J. Simers was at his ever-loving best in his latest column about USC football, USC AD Pat Haden and USC head coach Lane Kiffin…

Stand-up guy Pat Haden stands behind Lane Kiffin, T. J. Simers, LA Times

…and T.J. saves his best for the last few paragraph of the column when he writes…

“It’s time to allow his kid to prove Haden correct in his assessment.

“I hope Lane and I are together for a long time,” said Haden.

And speaking on behalf of my fellow Bruins fans, who undoubtedly will agree wholeheartedly with Page 2 for the first time, I hope Kiffin remains coaching at USC for a long time.”

Oh, that’s FUNNY T.J. and it reminds us of a call that came into Coaches Hot Seat Central on Sunday night from a very fine fellow and “name” who asked to be put on the speakerphone and who then said….

Fine Fellow and “Name”:  “Listen up you guys, as it pertains to Lane Kiffin….


CHS Member:  “What the Hell does that mean?”

Fine Fellow and “Name”:  “It means SHUT THE HELL UP about Lane Kiffin because we want Lane to be at USC for years to come!”

CHS Member (pointing to the phone):  “No Damn wonder this SOB is so much richer than all of us!”

CHS Member No. 2:  “Yes, this guy is a Freaking Genius!”

Fine Fellow and “Name”:  “I’m happy my message got through and I will see a few of you at Tiger’s tournament in SoCal next week.”

CHS Member:  “Hey, do you have any extra rooms in that house you rented for us to stay in?”

Fine Fellow and “Name”:  “Yes, but I don’t think your wives would look kindly on you staying at a house where there will be dozens of half-naked women walking around and lying around the pool all week.”

CHS Member:  “And just who in the Hell is going to tell our wives about those half-naked women walking around the house and lying by the pool all week?”

Fine Fellow and “Name”:  “Hey, I have met your wives and THEY WILL KNOW!”

CHS Member:  “That’s the Damn truth! We will just swing by for drinks and dinner each night and stay away from the half-naked women.”

Fine Fellow and “Name”:  “Sounds good. See you next week and….


….on Kiffin!”

Speakerphone goes dead.

YES, T. J. Simers and the Fine Fellow and “Name” are right which means that USC athletic director Pat Haden should sign Lane Kiffin to a…


..for $5 Million Dollars a Year that goes up $250K a Year over the 25 Years of the GUARANTEED CONTRACT which will of course have NO BUY OUT!

On a more serious note IF Lane Kiffin and the USC Trojans LOSE to Notre Dame on Saturday night at the Los Angeles Coliseum which about a half-dozen Coaches Hot Seat members will be at then Pat Haden and Lane Kiffin are going to have a…

Helluva LONG Offseason

….between the meaningless bowl game that the Trojans will play in and the kickoff against Hawaii on August 29, 2013!

Coach Hard Lane and remember…

Pat Haden backs you up 150%!

Oh, you say that Larry David’s therapist from Curb Your Enthusiasm has an opening next Tuesday at 3:00 PM and he can fit Pat Haden in who has clearly….

Lost His Freaking Mind!

Make the appointment Pat Haden because YOU NEED HELP BADLY!

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