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Post Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Why It Might Be A Good Idea For USC AD Pat Haden To Stop By U-Haul and Pick-Up Some Moving Boxes To Keep In His Office in the John McKay Center at USC

Post Week 13 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

The 2012 College Football Season is almost over Johnny BUT you can still tell them like it is!

1.  Randy Edsall, Maryland – Randy Edsall took over a Maryland football program that had won NINE Games in 2010 in the season before his arrival under previous head coach Ralph Friedgen and in two seasons in College Park Edsall has put up records of….

2011:  2 – 10
2012:  4 – 8

Overall:  6 – 18
ACC:  3 – 13

…..and Randy Edsall is looking forward to the Terps playing in the Big Ten Conference?

Randy Edsall looking forward to Big Ten, Heather Dinich, ESPN CFN Blog

What the Hell?

Memo to Randy Edsall:  The Big Ten Conference is BETTER than the ACC Conference when it comes to college football!

Of course, there is NO ONE here at Coaches Hot Seat that believes Randy Edsall will be the head coach at the Terps when Maryland joins the Big Ten in 2014 especially if Edsall keeps winning less than TWO conference games a season and thus it looks like 2013 could very well be the “Waterloo” for Randy Edsall at Maryland and the Terps will enter Big Ten play in 2014 with a…

New Head Football Coach!

2.  Ellis Johnson, Southern Miss – THE record is almost too unbearable to look at…

0 – 12

….but there is no getting around the FACT that in his first year as the head coach of Southern Miss that Ellis Johnson led the Golden Eagles……well, “led” may not be the right word…..to a record of….

0 – 12

….and now one has to think that the folks at USM are trying to decide if firing Ellis Johnson is the right decision or not and that is a decision that we here at Coaches Hot Seat would NOT be interested in being in a position to make although one has to wonder how many season ticket packages for next year will NOT be sold and how many fans will actually show up to Southern Miss games in 2013 if Johnson is kept on for another season.

0 and Freaking 12!

Oh, that is NOT pretty!

3.  Lane Kiffin, USC – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were at the Notre Dame – USC game at the LA Coliseum on Saturday night and as they joined us at the bar in a restaurant in Santa Monica about an hour after the Irish took down the Trojans the first words out of one of their mouths was….

“That may have been the worst coached game in the history of college football!”

CHS Member No. 2:  “Kiffin you mean?”

CHS Member No. 1:  “Hell, yes Kiffin. Brian Kelly and Notre Dame did everything possible to keep USC in the game by kicking field goals all night and still Kiffin couldn’t find a way to beat the Irish even with much superior talent.”

CHS Member No. 2:  “What would have been the score of the game if Gilligan was coaching the Trojans tonight?”

CHS Member No. 1:  “USC 40 – Notre Dame 22!”

CHS Member No. 2:  “Lane Kiffin, the Idiot that keeps on giving!”

CHS Member No. 1:  “Careful there. There could be an Idiot at the bar that might take offense to be compared to Kiffin!”

And so it went with laughs all around and don’t forget….

USC AD Pat Haden backs Lane Kiffin “150 Percent!”

OK Pat….

YOU now have Lane Kiffin….

….hanging around YOUR NECK and if something goes wrong as in the way that things went wrong at Tennessee…

Lane Kiffin fiasco lowest note of a low time for Tennessee football, Steve Ahillen, Knoxville News

…..don’t come crying to us because…

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED and not only warned by Coaches Hot Seat but by a few other people that have USC diplomas on their walls and are starting to think that Pat Haden has…

Lost His Freaking Mind!

The Coaches Hot Seat Recommendation to USC AD Pat Haden AND USC Senior Associate AD for Football J. K. McKay:

You two fellows might want to stop by the nearest U-Haul on the way into work at USC this week to pick up some sturdy U-Haul moving boxes….

…..which you should keep in your office at USC just in case something pops up in the media that leads to….

Pat Haden
J. K. McKay
Lane Kiffin

…..ALL getting fired on the same day for “something in the future” because of course as we ALL know now Pat Haden backs Lane Kiffin “150 Percent” which means that if ANYTHING negative or embarrassing happens from this point forward with USC football Lane Kiffin will be the third man fired after Haden and McKay are run off the USC campus with U-Haul filled boxes in hand and banned from attending USC football games and athletic events forever because remember….

Pat Haden backs Lane Kiffin “150 Percent!”

OK, Pat…

IT’S YOUR NECK you are choosing to stick it out for Freaking Lane Kiffin and it will be YOUR ASS that will be fired and your reputation ruined FOREVER (Same for J. K. McKay) if “something” goes wrong with USC football as long as Lane Kiffin is in charge and of course that could….


….so Pat Haden and J. K. McKay should be sleeping very well at night!

Oh, you say someone overheard someone else in the Jamba Juice in Santa Monica who said that…

“Haden wakes up at night in a panic and sweating profusely after having dreams that Kiffin did something wrong that caused USC football to get the death penalty from the NCAA which ruined Haden’s name in the process?”

Oh, Pat, we hope that’s not the case but then IF Lane Kiffin was the head football coach at Stanford right now…..Heaven forbid!……we would have already disowned the school and be trying to get the President, AD and entire Board of Trustees at Stanford fired….

But that’s just us Pat and Pat Haden needs to be TRUE to Pat Haden and evidently Pat Haden is willing to put the integrity and future of USC football into the hands of this Sorry Bastard?

YES, we agree with our USC-alum friends….

YOU have lost YOUR Freaking Mind Pat Haden!

As for what Lane Kiffin has actually done on the field of play Kiffin’s records at USC are….

Overall:  25 – 12 (.676)
Pac-12:  17 – 10 (.630)

…with yearly records of…

2010:  8 – 5
2011:  10 – 2
2012:  7 – 5  (YES, Lane Kiffin voted USC Number FREAKING ONE before the season in the Coaches Poll!  Oh that is funny!)

…..and we note that Pete Carroll only won less than NINE Games ONCE in NINE Years at USC and only won less than ELEVEN Games TWICE in putting up records of…

Overall:  83 – 19 (.814)
Pac-12:  53 – 14 (.791)

…..and we hasten to add that Kiffin has lost 10 Pac-12 games in TWO seasons at USC when Carroll lost only 14 Pac-10 games in NINE seasons at USC.

Not that any of the above matters since USC AD Pat Haden backs Lane Kiffin “150 Percent!’

Don’t forget those U-Haul moving boxes Pat because having to go out and buy moving boxes on the day you get fired is No Damn Fun at All!

Maybe a real news person can tell Pat Haden LIKE IT IS when it comes to Lane Kiffin and Arash Markazi of ESPN Los Angeles is out with a compelling column on the current state of USC football in which he asks…

Does USC deserve better?, Arash Markazi, ESPN Los Angeles

Check-out these FACTS about Lane Kiffin and USC in 2012 from Arash’s above column:

“That’s essentially what this season devolved into for USC: trying to spoil other teams’ seasons. They couldn’t even do that well, losing to every ranked team they played and failing every big challenge with which they were faced.

Every team USC defeated this season had at least five losses, three had at least nine losses and the combined record of the teams they beat was 32-51.

It doesn’t take a great coach to beat up on inferior competition and rack up seven wins. It takes a great coach to win the other five games in tangling with top-ranked Oregon and Notre Dame at home and facing Stanford, UCLA and Arizona on the road.

Kiffin has shown time and time again this season that he is not a great coach.

The numbers certainly bear that out over the course of his career as a head coach. He is now 37-32 as a head coach with the Oakland Raiders, Tennessee Volunteers and USC. He is the first USC coach since Paul Hackett to lose at least five games in two of his first three seasons and the first since Larry Smith 20 years ago to lose his first two home games against Notre Dame.

It’s one thing to fall short of the national championship at USC, but it’s quite another to lose to UCLA and Notre Dame. USC hasn’t done that in the same season since 1995.”

Oh, but Arash…

Pat Haden has Lane Kiffin’s back….”150 Percent!”

Memo to Pat Haden and J. K. McKay:  IF we hear anything from anyone about USC football doing ANYTHING in recruiting that breaks NCAA rules while Kiffin is the head coach at USC and we hear about EVERYTHING that happens around the top high schools in the country the call will be made to Indianapolis in a nanosecond and with that thought in mind we hope you sleep soundly Pat Haden and J. K. McKay and remember….

Don’t come crying to us.


4.  Charlie Weis, Kansas – Life must be a bitch when the school that you were coaching in 2009, Notre Dame, is now only three years later undefeated and headed to play in the Bogus BCS National Championship Game and after coaching a year in the NFL and a year at Florida (which also got a lot better after you left!) you are coaching a team, Kansas, that is…

Overall:  1 – 10
Big 12:  0 – 8

….and you still have to play West Virginia on the road to finish the season!

YES, that just Flat-Out SUCKS and such is the fabulous life of Charlie Weis who we must admit was able to get the folks at the University of Kansas to pay him…

$2.5 Million Dollars a Year

….and if Kansas loses their last game that ONE WIN that Kansas will have in 2012 will evidently be worth…

$2.5 Million Dollars!

Oh, the Freaking Damn Stupidity!

The fans of Kansas football can look on the bright side of things though….

The University of Kansas still OWES Charlie Weis….

$10 Million Dollars

….over the next four seasons whether Kansas wins another game or not!

How is that the bright side of things you ask?

Kansas could have agreed to pay Charlie Weis $3 Million Dollars a year GUARANTEED over five years!

Oh, the Freaking Damn Stupidity!

5.  Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – On February 12, 2009 Iowa signed their head football coach to a contract extension which will pay Kirk Ferentz Tens of Millions of Dollars over the next decade whether Kirk Ferentz wins another game at Iowa or NOT…

Kirk Ferentz Has the Worst Contract in All of College Football, Adam Jacobi, Bleacher Report

….and since signing that contract extension in February 2009 which GUARANTEED to pay Ferentz whether Iowa football wins or NOT Kirk Ferentz’s record at Iowa has been…

Overall: 1 9 – 19
Big Ten:  10 – 14

…and if the above is the kind of record that a man making almost $4 Million Dollars a year should be putting up then there are some people running the University of Iowa that are not Americans but rather are….


YES, ONLY Communists would agree to pay someone whether he is…

Winning or NOT

Working for the school or NOT

Actually doing his Damn job of NOT

…..and unfortunately it looks like to us that Communists have infiltrated I-A (FBS) college athletic departments all over America that in addition to being Communists they also can be rolled by any flunky agent that drops out of a tree that says he is representing a head coach and then claims that “market conditions” demand that “X” school pay “X” coach Millions of Dollars in GUARANTEED MONEY whether the coach is actually winning games or even coach at the school or NOT!

(We heard Auburn AD Jay Jacobs make the comment that Auburn gave Gene Chizik his lucrative contract extension with Millions of Dollars in GUARANTEED MONEY because of “the market” which was given to Chizik whether Chizik won or NOT, whether Chizik was doing his job or NOT or whether Chizik was even working at Auburn or not and to that Jay Jacobs we can only say NO ONE after the 2010 season wanted to hire Gene Chizik away from Auburn because anyone with a working brain knew then and knows today that is you take Cam Newton off the 2010 Auburn football team the Tigers would have been lucky to win 7 games! Bottom-Line: Jay Jacobs and other folks at Auburn University got rolled by Gene Chizik’s agent who was only doing his job in representing his client BUT still the folks at Auburn got rolled and now Gene Chizik is laughing all the way to the bank and Auburn is going to allow Jay Jacobs to hire their next head coach? Geez, how is it possible that Auburn football fans are not right now on the Auburn campus and demanding the resignations of Jay Jacobs, the Auburn president and the Auburn trustees that gave Gene Chizik that lucrative contract? No, there is NO Damn explaining this Stupidity!)

Hey, we wouldn’t hire Kirk Ferentz to coach our kids’ Pee Wee football team and that is because we would want a head coach for our kids that actually gave a Damn about our kids and if their team actually won or NOT which in our opinion is not the case with Kirk Ferentz who we believe has a bad case of…

Chizik’s Disease!

What is Chizik’s Disease you ask?

When you have Chizik’s Disease some Communist that can be rolled easily by any flunky coach’s agent that drops out a tree promises to pay you Millions of Dollars whether you actually do your Damn job or not and because someone is giving you Millions of Dollars you become a Lazy Ass and Sorry Excuse for an American and thus your football team starts losing because it NO LONGER has a head coaching leading it!

That is Chizik’s Disease!

And in our humble opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat Iowa head coach Kirk Ferentz has…

Chizik’s Disease

…..and he has it BAD!

How about the following for ALL fans of Iowa football:

Kirk Ferentz is on Top of the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings


Kirk Ferentz is on Top of the Highest Paid I-A (FBS) Head Coaches!

At the $3.9 Million Dollars that Kirk Ferentz is being paid in 2012 that totaled up to…

$975,000 PER WIN!

Be proud Iowa football fans…..Be Mighty Damn Proud!

6.  Skip Holtz, South Florida – As we have said in this blog recently we don’t know exactly what is going on at South Florida with Skip Holtz but below is a trend that is NOT GOOD….

Skip Holtz’s records at South Florida

2010:  8 – 5
2011:  5 – 7
2012:  3 – 8

…which makes Holtz’s records at USF now…

Overall:  16 – 20
Big East:  5 – 15

…..which by any measure we can think of is NOT VERY DAMN GOOD!

South Florida is 3 – 8 overall and 1 – 5 in Big East play with a game left against Pitt on Saturday and the Panthers will be very motivated in this game since Pitt needs 1 more win to be able to do the “Call of the Candy Asses”….

“We’re bowl eligible…..we’re bowl eligible!”

….and unless Holtz’s USF Bulls play better than they have this season so far South Florida will lose to Pitt and finish the year at…

3 – 9

….and just think when Skip Holtz took over South Florida three years ago the USF football program was one of the top programs in the Big East Conference and was even making noise nationally in some seasons which forces us to ask the question again…

Just what in the Hell is going on with Skip Holtz at South Florida?

Let’s hope that Skip doesn’t have a bad case of Chizik’s Disease because if he does not only will his ass be on the Hot Seat for the foreseeable future Skip Holtz will be out of a job very Damn soon!

7.  DeWayne Walker, New Mexico State – We have always believed that DeWayne Walker was one of the better defensive coordinators in college football during his time with UCLA under Karl Dorrell and Rick Neuheisel and we thought that DeWayne had at least a shot at turning around the dormant New Mexico State football program BUT in four seasons at the school Walker’s records are…

Overall:  10 – 39
WAC:  4 – 24

….and New Mexico State in 2012 is 1 – 10 overall and 0 – 5 in WAC Conference play and the Aggies have not won a game since the opening win of the season against….

I-AA (FCS) Sacramento State

Will New Mexico State keep DeWayne Walker on for another year?

We don’t have a clue to the answer to that question but we do know that New Mexico State is a tough job that will only get tougher in future years if NMSU doesn’t have a football conference to play in and thus why the folks at NMSU might consider dropping down to the I-AA (FCS) level and joining the Big Sky Conference.

Just a thought unless of course Boise State, BYU and San Diego State come to their senses and rejoin the Mountain West Conference and then the MWC can add Idaho and New Mexico State which would give them a membership of…

Fresno State
San Diego State
Boise State
Air Force
Colorado State
New Mexico
New Mexico State
San Jose State
Utah State

….which could be divided into two divisions and would create a great Western United States Conference which could be called the…

The American West Conference or AWC for short.

Oh, but that would make just too much FREAKING sense!

8.  Bobby Hauck, UNLV – Bobby Hauck had a great SEVEN year run at I-AA (FCS) Montana putting up records of…

Overall:  80 – 17
Big Sky:  47 – 6

….and in 2010 Hauck left Montana for a job at UNLV that we would have probably advised Bobby not to take unless he had an interest in beating his head against the wall and that is exactly what Hauck has done over the past three seasons putting up records of…

2010:  2 – 11
2011:  2 – 10
2012:  2 – 11

Overall:  6 – 32
MWC:  5 – 17

…..and if UNLV decides to go in a different direction then Montana would certainly take Bobby back since the Grizzlies have fallen on hard times in recent years and no doubt if Hauck returned to Missoula he would have Montana football winning again in short order.

As for the UNLV head coaching job it is just flat-out a TOUGH JOB that we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy OR Charlie Weis and as we expected Bobby Hauck has struggled mightily at UNLV and if any head coach in the future including Hauck is going to turn around the Rebels they will probably have to put into place an attacking spread-type of offense that will try to just score more points than the opponent while getting a lot of people to the games at UNLV that would no doubt would love to see the scoreboards spinning in the City where What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas!

9.  Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson has tried valiantly to turn around the Indiana football program from his first season with the Hoosiers when IU put up records of 1 – 11 overall and 0 – 8 in Big Ten play and in 2012 the Hoosiers did improve with records of…

Overall:  4 – 8
Big Ten:  2 – 6

….BUT after back-to-back losses to Penn State and rival Purdue to end the season Wilson is now faced with the task of doing better than 4 wins overall in 2013 while simultaneously having his rear-end on fire!

Good Luck to you Kevin Wilson and to Indiana football!

10.  Tommy Tuberville, Texas Tech – Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Tommy….

Just when one thought that Tubbs had things turned around at Texas Tech the Red Raiders up and lost their last two games of the season to…

Oklahoma State and Baylor

….and with an overall record of 7 – 5 and a 4 – 5 record in Big 12 play Tommy Tuberville finds himself back on the Hot Seat!

Sorry Tommy…..BUT…..your football team had no business losing to Baylor on Saturday at Jerry-Dome in Arlington and now Tommy and the Red Raiders will have to wait and see what kind of bowl game they will get after putting up a mediocre season which saw Tuberville’s records at Texas Tech move to…

Overall:  20 – 17
Big 12:  9 – 17

….and keep in mind that of Tuberville’s 20 wins at Texas Tech over the past three seasons there are NINE wins over these teams…

I-AA Northwestern State
Texas State – two times
New Mexico – three times
I-AA Weber State

….which means that NINE of Tommy’s 20 Wins are over teams that anyone reading this blog could have rung-up as the head coach at Texas Tech!

Coach Hard in that bowl game Tommy because a WIN could get you off the HOT SEAT…..maybe!

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