"Covering College Football Coaching from Miami to Honolulu"

 

 

Brent Musburger, ONE HOT WOMAN and A BOGUS Apology From the Folks at ESPN/Disney – Brian Kelly to the Philadelphia Eagles? – Good Luck to You Brian Kelly and Save Your Money! – Chip Kelly Stays At Oregon and the Useless and Pitiful Lives of Oregon Boosters

ESPN issued an apology for what Brent Musburger said during the Alabama – Notre Dame game about ONE HOT WOMAN?

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All we can say to the Wacko Liberal Nuts, the Politically-Correct Police and the Candy Ass Pussies that are trying to Complete Pussify America is that if you really do believe that ESPN or Brent Musburger should have apologized about this….

…then you really are a Sorry Excuse for an American and you need to…

GET A FREAKING LIFE!

All Brent Musburger did was point out that Alabama QB A J McCarron had a beautiful girlfriend and that if a healthy, red-blooded American male wants to have a beautiful girlfriend as well when he grows up that being the quarterback at the University of Alabama would be a good spot to be which is almost like Brent Musburger saying that…

The Sun Comes Up in the East Every Morning!

Unfortunately there are lots of Very Sorry Excuses for Americans that live their lives in a Politically-Correct Fantasy World where even the slightest thing that is said off-key…..

In their Confused, Dazes and Wacked-Out Minds

….that doesn’t sound right and how Politically-Correct Candy Ass Pussies should talk is something to be criticized and to those Very Sorry Excuses for Americans (including the executives at ESPN and Disney that issued their Bogus apology) we can only say….

Why do you want to destroy the American Republic?

We here at Coaches Hot Seat are going to give everyone a “Cliff Notes” history lesson on the Roman Empire and more specifically on English historian Edward Gibbon’s six volume…

Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

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….which was first published in 1776 which of course was a treatise on why and how the Roman Empire fell at the end of its 500 year reign which lasted from 27 BC to 476 AD.

From the Wikipedia webpage on Gibbon’s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire:

“According to Gibbon, the Roman Empire succumbed to barbarian invasions in large part due to the gradual loss of civic virtue among its citizens. They had become weak, outsourcing their duties to defend their Empire to barbarian mercenaries, who then became so numerous and ingrained that they were able to take over the Empire. Romans, he believed, had become effeminate, unwilling to live a tougher, “manly” military lifestyle.”

Coaches Hot Seat Translation:  The Roman Empire fell because the Romans became a bunch of…

Politically-Correct Candy Ass Pussies

Guess what?

All of the Very Sorry Excuses for American Citizens that were calling for or making apologies for what Brent Musburger said about A J McCarron’s very attractive girlfriend are…

Politically-Correct Candy Ass Pussies

…and it is YOU that are destroying the American Republic along with the…

SCUM OF THE EARTH

…otherwise known as the “Elected and Appointed Leaders” of the United States of America in both political parties in Washington DC!

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YES, we at Coaches Hot Seat are proud to join Brent Musburger in saying….

A J McCarron is dating ONE HOT WOMAN in Katherine Webb…

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….and luckily we here at Coaches Hot Seat are very fortunate to be married to secure and confident women that can see a HOT WOMAN for what she is (and Katherine Webb is ONE HOT WOMAN!) and fully understand why a man like Brent Musburger or any healthy, red-blooded American male would look at Katherine Webb and say something like….

Woo-La-La!

Memo to Brent Musburger:  Just keep being Brent Musburger and if those execs at the Mothership give you a hard time just drop us a note and next time we are in Los Angeles we will take a trip out to the Mouse House in Burbank and see if we can kick some of the Politically-Correct BS out of the Disney Corporation that for some reason has lost its sense of humor the last few years in its never-ending quest to “monetize” anything and everything in sight while at the same time going overboard to make sure that NO ONE is offended including in this case the very tiny turtleneck, cardigan sweater and plaid-sports coast with patches on the elbows crowd in New York, Los Angeles, Washington DC and on university campuses across America which is pretty much Ground Zero for the….

Politically-Correct Candy Ass Pussies

…that are now destroying the American Republic!

Bravo to Brent Musburger and keep those shots of HOT WOMAN during ESPN/ABC football telecasts coming!

 

Notre Dame Head Coach Brian Kelly to the Philadelphia Eagles?

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That was quite a report that Chris Mortensen and Adam Schefter of ESPN had on Wednesday night that said…

Brian Kelly interviews with the Philadelphia Eagles, ESPN

….which was a very shocking report as well because of the 124 Head Coaches in Division I-A (FBS) football Brian Kelly would be one of the last coaches that we in the position of an NFL owner of general manager would interview or hire from the college coaching ranks because Kelly would never be on any list we would draw up as a current college head football coach who would have the potential to be successful in the NFL.

Looking at the 124 I-A (FBS) Head Football Coaches at the current….

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

….we here at Coaches Hot Seat only count…

18 College Head Coaches

….that would be Very Good or Great Head Coaches in the NFL and Brian Kelly is NOT among those 18 current College Head Coaches.

Hell, if Brian Kelly is STUPID enough to think that coaching the Philadelphia Eagles is a better job than being the Head Football Coach at Notre Dame then Irish AD Jack Swarbrick should wish Brian Kelly GOOD LUCK and send him on his way because we know there are 4 or 5 very good football coaches that would walk to South Bend for the Notre Dame job right now and would be there before Brian Kelly could even get his office cleared out!

Of course, this just could be another Notre Dame head coach attempting to ROLL the Notre Dame administration as Charlie Weis ROLLED Notre Dame many years ago (in our opinion) after only ONE successful year and if Brian Kelly is doing that then he doesn’t deserve to be the head football coach at Notre Dame although Kelly does deserve to be among the Top 10 Highest Paid Head Coaches in Major College Football and checking the Coaches Hot Seat…

Salaries and Contracts webpage

…by our estimation Brian Kelly is now the 23 rd Highest Paid Head Coach in the country and is in our opinion underpaid by about…

$1 Million Dollars A Year

Hey, if Brian Kelly takes the Philadelphia Eagles head coaching job we will wish Brian Kelly GOOD LUCK and we would recommend you…

SAVE YOUR MONEY Brian Kelly

….because in our opinion you are not suited for the NFL and will be fired by the Eagles and back in college coaching at a job a lot worse and Helluva lot less prestigious place than Notre Dame within 5 years.

 

Chip Kelly Returns to Coach the Oregon Ducks in 2013

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Before Alabama destroyed Notre Dame on Monday night and proved again how Incredibly Stupid the current college football postseason is it was good on Chip Kelly checking out the opportunities now available to him in the NFL and there is probably a good chance that Kelly sees the same thing we see when sitting across from the vast majority of the….

NFL Owners

NFL General Managers

…in “the League” today and that is….

These Are Just Some Very Damn Stupid People!

Oh, what a surprise that Chip Kelly didn’t take the Cleveland Browns or Philadelphia Eagles jobs…..NOT!

We wouldn’t work for the owners of the Cleveland Browns or Philadelphia Eagles for…

ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY!

….and no one should be under working under the illusion that because you can sell sodas for $1.59 at truck stops across America that cost you about .10 cents that you can turn around a floundering NFL football team just as someone that knows something about the oil business…

Think Jerry Jones

….would know ANYTHING AT ALL about the game of football and if there is a Poster Child for how…

Very Damn Stupid the Vast Majority of NFL Owners REALLY ARE

…look no further than Dallas Cowboys owners Jerry Jones who may indeed by the…

Stupidest Man Alive on Planet Earth Today!

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Is it really possible that the Dallas Cowboys have NOT WON a Postseason Playoff Game since 1995?

And who has been in COMPLETE CHARGE of the Dallas Cowboys since 1995?

Yes, you guess right! Jerry Jones!

As for the current Dallas Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett we would not hire Jason Garrett to coach the Coaches Hot Seat flag-football team because it is our firm conviction that Jason would make the Coaches Hot Seat flag-football team…

WORSE

…just by his presence on the sidelines just as Garrett has made the Dallas Cowboys…

MUCH WORSE

….by him being the head coach the last three seasons when he put up a…

21 – 19 record

…while finishing THIRD in the NFC East for three consecutive seasons which of course leads to Jerry Jones wanting to keep Jason Garrett around for another season because Jerry Jones is one of the…

Stupidest Human Beings Alive on Planet Earth Today!

Oh, but that’s not REALLY what drives Jerry Jones…in our opinion of course:

Jerry Jones LOVES to have his ass kissed EVEN MORE than he loves to see the Dallas Cowboys win football games and championships and in our opinion in Jason Garrett he has someone that will plant his Candy Ass Pussy Lips on Jerry Jones ass and if the Dallas Cowboys have to be destroyed in the process of Jerry Jones making sure he has a head coach of the Cowboys that will…

Kiss Jerry Jones Ass

…then the Dallas Cowboys football team will be destroyed and Jones will not lose a minute of sleep over it except when Jason Garrett wakes him up at night Kissing his ass all night long!

And you REALLY wonder why Chip Kelly decided to remain at Oregon?

The TRUTH: 75 Percent of the NFL Teams are run by….

Complete Morons

…that are lucky to get themselves dressed in the morning forget about knowing how to run a professional football team and with only 25 percent of “The League” being run by Sane and Rational Human Beings it is no surprise that every year (like this year) that some of the teams run by…

Complete Morons

….get into the postseason playoffs and even win a game or two BUT then again we have the case of Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys who have…

NOT WON A PLAYOFF GAME SINCE 1995!

Oh, Jerry Jones you are an IDIOT!

Getting back to Chip Kelly staying at Oregon John Canzano of The Oregonian who had Kelly with his bags already packed a week ago now writes that Kelly will only leave the New England Patriots job…

Chip Kelly’s NFL dance becomes clear as he returns to Oregon, John Canzano, The Oregon

….which is probably true because with Kelly being from New England if was offered the Patriots job that he would take it in about 5 seconds BUT we offer up another explanation for John on why Chip is coming back to Eugene for another season:

Chip Kelly has yet to sit across from the owner and general manager of an NFL team that…

Knows His Ass From the Side of a Barn

…and when Kelly does talk to someone in the NFL that knows Night from Day then he might just take that NFL head coaching job BUT not likely before and who can blame Chip Kelly for not wanting to work for…

Complete Morons?

We can’t blame him!

Just to finish this NFL stuff up…

Memo to Jerry Jones

RE: Your Complete Stupidity

Jerry: You don’t know your ass from the side of a barn and thus you should turn over the Dallas Cowboys to a competent general manager (not your boy who also in our opinion doesn’t know his ass from the side of a barn and would be in West Texas right now shoveling shit with George W. Bush IF your boy’s last name wasn’t Jones!) and…

GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!

…and if that new GM has a clue the first thing he will do is..

FIRE Jason Garrett

…and hire a REAL football coach instead of a Candy Ass Pussy that….in our opinion of course….spends most of waking time on this Earth kissing YOUR ASS!

End of Memo to Jerry Jones

Does Jerry Jones give two rips what we or anyone else has to say about the pitiful state of the Dallas Cowboys?

NO, because Jerry Jones is an egomaniac that cares about only ONE THING:

Jerry Jones!

Going again back to Chip Kelly and Oregon in what has to be one of the most pitiful and absurd news articles we have read in years John Locanthi of Willamette Week wrote the following back in December:

Chip Kelly’s Secret Offense, John Locanthi, Willamette Week

….which included the following on Kelly:

“The Oregon football coach brings money to the athletic department, and his obligations extend far beyond the field.

Rich Brooks, Oregon’s head coach from 1977 to 1994, was a legendary schmoozer. As was Brooks’ successor, Bellotti.

Kelly—not so much.

“As revolutionary as Chip has been on the field with the no-huddle offense, he’s been more revolutionary in how he acts toward social functions,” says an Oregon booster who requested anonymity. The source said the relationship between Kelly and boosters is strained.

When Kelly began at Oregon as offensive coordinator, his contract included a $50,000 incentive—a third of his $150,000 base salary—to make specific public appearances, which he dutifully made. His current contract makes no mention of any similarly required appearances.

“He’s good at talking to people,” says Jack Roberts, “but he’s not a glad-handing guy.”

Dan Dutton, a booster and former walk-on player at Oregon under Rich Brooks, says: “Fundraising and socializing are not his favorite activities.”

One of the longtime traditions of being the Oregon football coach is making a weekly trip to Portland during the season to speak to members of the Oregon Club of Portland at the Multnomah Athletic Club. At the luncheon, members watch Ducks highlights and meet with the head coach.

For years, Brooks and then Bellotti made the trek up Interstate 5 every Thursday. The three-hour round trip ate up valuable time in the hectic schedule of a major-college coach. But maintaining a relationship with donors was important.

“I enjoyed selling the program,” Bellotti says. “Thankfully, I had a driver take me so I could watch film in the back of the van.”

“Mike and Rich used to come every week,” Dutton says.

Kelly? Since he’s been head coach, he phones it in, appearing on a projector screen and videoconferencing with every Oregon Club across the state simultaneously.

“People prefer to see [the Oregon coach] in person,” says Brian Vik, a 30-year Ducks season-ticket holder and member of the Oregon Club. “It comes back to the human element. They got used to something: access to the coach. It changed.””

Oh, Geez, one has to wonder about some of the fans of college football today who worry about such trivial things as having….

Access to a Head Coach

….as if that Access to a Head Coach connotes on them some kind of special status and no doubt some of these boosters at Oregon and other big-time programs around the country who spend countless hours of their precious time on the Earth worrying about if they were able to get in a couple of words with Chip Kelly, Nick Saban, Mack Brown, Bob Stoops, Les Miles, etc.. is in TRUTH no different than teenage girls swooning over the last pop or TV star who they caught a glimpse of and who then run home and call their girlfriends and brag about seeing that star.

Please, that the Oregon boosters are mad because Chip Kelly is not wasting his valuable time which should be tasked to…

Coaching the Oregon Football Team

….glad-handing, back-slapping and smoozing with Oregon boosters and alumni says a lot for what….

Pitiful and Useless Lives

…those Oregon boosters and alumni worrying about such stupid things as…

Spending Time With Chip Kelly

….really leads us to the point where we here at Coaches Hot Seat can only wonder:

Don’t these Oregon boosters have better things to do with their lives than worrying about…..

Spending Time With Chip Kelly?

Evidently Freaking NOT!

Here is the Coaches Hot Seat opinion on the head football coach at “our” school whether that is David Shaw at Stanford or a head coach at another school:

OUR first job and position as alumni and boosters is to…

SUPPORT THE SCHOOL AND HEAD COACH

….which in most cases is to donate money and other things that will help the football team and athletic department to achieve its goals each year and our second job and position as alumni and boosters is to…

STAY THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY

…of the head football coach, athletic director and other coaches so they can…

DO THEIR DAMN JOBS

…which they were hired to do by the school AND if any or all of the above need to reach us for some reason then…..

They know how to contact us

…and they know they can call at ANYTIME even if they just want one of us to stroke a check for something.

The Very Last Damn Thing that alumni and boosters at Oregon or any other school should be worried about is…

Access to a Head Coach

….because the TRUTH is if the head coach has the time to speak with the alumni and boosters including us here at Coaches Hot Seat then…

He has way too Damn much free time on his hands!

Hey, if a head football coach, athletic director or anyone else at school wants to….

Have drinks, shoot the shit, play golf, go fishing or just hang around and do nothing

….then MORE power to those coaches and alumni/boosters that have both decided they really want to do that with their free time but boosters and alumni at Oregon crying about not having enough time around Chip Kelly we can only label you pitiful people for what you really are…

LOSERS!

…that need to…

GET A LIFE!

Autzen

….because whether the Oregon alumni and boosters know it or they have one of the best football coaches in America leading their program who has put up the following records in four seasons as the head football coach at Oregon:

Overall:  46 – 7 (.868)

Pac-10/12:  33 – 3 (.917)

3 Pac-10/12 Championships

4 BCS Bowl Games

4 Ten Plus Win Seasons

3 Twelve Plus Win Seasons

Maybe what we can do is go back to the Mike Bellotti and Rich Brooks days for the Oregon boosters and alumni when Bellotti and Brooks would glad-hand and kiss the Precious Asses of the boosters and alumni and in the…

32 Seasons

…that Bellotti and Brooks were running the Ducks program Oregon won…

3 Pac-10 Championships

Played in ONE Rose Bowl in 1994 which Oregon lost!

Played in ONE Fiesta Bowl in 2001 which Oregon won!

Let’s see here…

3 Pac-10 Championships in 32 seasons

OR

3 Pac-10/12 Championships in 4 seasons

Which one should the Oregon boosters and alumni take?

Well, if you believe the Oregon boosters and alumni that were quoted in that Willamette Week story at least those IDIOTS would go back to the days of winning Pac-12 titles ONCE every decade!

YES, there are some Very Damn Stupid People in the state of Oregon that are boosters and alumni of Oregon football!

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