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Post Week 6 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking – The Moon Pie and RC Cola Edition

Presenting the Great Johnny Cash…..

Thanks, Johnny.

Post Week 6 Coaches Hot Seat Ranking

1.  Neil Callaway, UAB – Neil Callaway’s record in his 5 th season at UAB:

Overall – 15 – 38 (.283)
Conference USA – 11 – 23 (.324)

The only question: Is there even ONE UAB fan that gives a Damn about the current state of the Blazers football program?

We rather doubt it.

The more disturbing number, at least from Mississippi State fans point of view, from Saturday’s Mississippi State – UAB game was the final score:

Mississippi State 21 – UAB 3

Is that all Mississippi State has? If so the rest of the 2011 season may not be very pleasant for the Dogs in Starkville.

2.  Mike Stoops, Arizona – Mike Stoops and his Arizona football team have a bye week after losing a Hot Seat Coaches Matchup game over the weekend to Mike Riley and Oregon State Beavers but on Thursday October 20 Arizona will play UCLA in Tucson in what will be another Hot Seat Coaches Matchup game because Rick Neuheisel and the Bruins also have a bye this week and yes…Neuheisel is still on the Hot Seat. In the Thursday night October 20 game in Tucson, which for the moment will be known as the “Hot Seat Matchup in the Hot Desert” the winner will still on the Hot Seat and the loser will be calling U-Haul to check on moving rates. (Mike Stoops to Norman, Oklahoma and Rick Neuheisel to anywhere but LA because if you don’t HAVE TO live in LA for a job then why the Hell would you live there exactly?). Yes, that Thursday night October 20 game between Mike Stoops and Rick Neuheisel will be the great smackdown…

“Stoops and Neuheisel on a Hot Tin Roof without a fire extinguisher in sight!”

Please take a note to make sure there is some extra Red Bull in the broadcast booth for Davis, James and Palmer for the Stoops and Neuheisel on a Hot Tin Roof game please.

3.  Frank Spaziani, Boston College – One of our long-time friends in Boston and someone that holds a degree from Boston College summed up current BC AD Gene DeFilippo to us a few years ago when we asked about DeFilippo after he fired then BC head coach Jeff Jagodzinski after Jagodzinski had decided to interview for the New York Jets head coaching jobs after putting up records of 11 – 3 and 9 – 5 and winning the ACC Atlantic Division in both of his only two years on the job:

Our Long-Time Boston Friend (his opinion) on Gene DeFilippo: “Here’s the thing you need to understand about DeFilippo. He is a pompous, arrogant ass that believes he is God’s gift to planet Earth. No, that’s not quite right. DeFilippo believes he is God’s personal emissary on Planet Earth and if it comes out of Gene’s mouth then everyone in Boston should get down on their hands and knees to think the “Great One” for speaking to the unwashed masses and then we would then all stand up and go out and put Gene’s words into action.”

CHS: “Sounds like Moses has come back to live in Boston.”

Our Long-Time Boston Friend: “Oh, Moses thought he was the servant of God. DeFilippo believes he helped the Lord create the Earth, the Heavens and all that Man can see and then sent DeFilippo to live with the peons to lead us to the promised-land.”

CHS: “Yes…that again kind of sounds like Moses.”

Our Long-Time Boston Friend: “Well, Moses actually accomplished something in his life….Gene…..well he has achieved noteworthiness as the biggest pompous arrogant ass in the New England region…so I guess that’s something.”

CHS: “So you are not very high on DeFilippo?”

Our Long-Time Boston Friend: “Any random person picked from the Faneuil Hall Marketplace this afternoon could have achieved what DeFilippo’s done at BC and more than likely wouldn’t be a pompous, arrogant ass to boot….unless that person worked at Harvard where there are some people in the running that could give Gene run for his money as it pertains to being a pompous, arrogant ass. Yes, no doubt on that one and that is from someone that has a degree from Harvard, all be it from across the River from the Real Nuts.”

Wow! Sounds like our long-time Boston friend is not real high on Gene DeFilippo!

On Friday Mark Blaudschun of the Boston Globe did what Boston newspapers have been doing for about a century now by coming up for excuses for someone in a position of power in Boston….

A rough patch for Eagles

…with BC AD DeFilippo saying…

“Athletic director Gene DeFilippo made it again clear this week that coach Frank Spaziani’s job is safe for this season.

“We’ve had so many injuries and are so young,’’ said DeFilippo. “I’m around Spaz every day. He’s a great coach.”

While we could argue with that “great coach” comment about Spaziani since we put Paul Bryant, Woody Hayes, Joe Paterno, Bobby Bowden, Bud Wilkinson, etc., etc., along with many other former and current head coaches in the “great” category which would not include Frank Spaziani on the very best day of Frank Spaziani’s life…..what makes Gene DeFilippo really a Complete and Absolute Moron is that going back to his firing of Jeff Jagodzinski after the 2008 season because Jagodzinski interviewed for the New York Jets head coaching jobs puts DeFilippo in a very special Moron category because if every boss in America was like DeFilippo that fired his employees when they decided to interview for a better job then there would be no America for all of us to live in today.

The one thing that has been told to us here at Coaches Hot Seat over the years by our employers once we started to perform well in our jobs and they knew we might start getting calls from competing companies was something along the lines of…

“I just want to say that we value your achievements here at “X” company and that you will probably be recruited by other companies in the future and we would request that before you take another job that you give us an opportunity to match their offer and keep you with this firm.”

Yes, in the REAL world when you have a successful employee they WILL BE recruited by other companies and here’s a newsflash for people in positions of management out there that don’t seem to know how to subtract 2 from 3:

IF your employees are not getting recruited by other companies then they aren’t that good!

The above should especially be paid very close attention to by athletic directors because it seems that some ADs don’t seem to understand that it is normal and the regular course of business in the REAL world for their coaches that are performing well to be recruited and pursued by other schools (and even NFL teams) and ADs should welcome that pursuit of their coaches because that means the ADs HIRED THE RIGHT COACHES!

Gene DeFilippo turns that entire REALITY on its head after he hires a head coach in Jeff Jagodzinski that in his first two seasons takes Boston College to the ACC Championship Game and then does what any other rational American would do if given the opportunity….

Interview for a better job

…and then Gene DeFilippo fired his head coach for interviewing for a better job which in the United States of America is the stupidest thing we have ever heard of, but then our long-time friend in Boston identified the kind of person that would do something like that…

“A Pompous, Arrogant Ass that believes he is God’s gift to Planet Earth.”

Yes, that makes perfect Damn sense!

After taking over for Jagodzinski at Boston College Frank Spaziani’s record at BC is:

2006 – 1 – 0 – Bowl Game
2009 – 8 – 5
2010 – 7 – 6
2011 – 1 – 5

Overall – 17 – 16
ACC Record – 9 – 10

So, let’s get this straight:

At Boston College you CAN get fired for interviewing for a better job

BUT

You CANNOT get fired at Boston College for actually losing football games!

Yes, that makes perfect sense but looking over Frank Spaziani’s above listed record at BC what we notice is that BC football is…

GETTING WORSE

…the longer he is the head coach….not better….

Oh, that’s right in the “DeFilippo World” the important thing for a head football coach at BC is not winning football games

BUT

Kissing Gene DeFilippo’s ass!

Keep kissing Gene DeFilippo’s pompous, arrogant ass Spaziani and you will have a job for life whether you win or not!

After the loss to Clemson the BC Eagles are now 1 – 5 on the season and their only win is over I-AA UMass. BC now has left:

at Virginia Tech
at Maryland
Florida State
NC State
at Notre Dame
at Miami

Looking over the remaining games for BC we would recommend that Frank Spaziani spend at least as much time kissing Gene DeFilippo’s pompous, arrogant ass as he does coaching the BC football team because we don’t see many more wins for the Eagles in 2011 and that means that the best route for “Spaz” (DeFilippo’s term for Spaziani) to hang onto his job is to stay close to DeFilippo and most certainly don’t interview for any high schools that call in the next few weeks that are interested in you being their head coach….because Gene doesn’t think much of coaches that don’t have their lips planted squarely on DeFilippo’s pompous, arrogant ass on pretty much a 24-hour around-the-clock basis.

On a related note a couple of years ago two of us here at Coaches Hot Seat were having lunch with a college president and the college president says to us:

“What you guys need is an athletic directors Hot Seat.”

CHS Member – “We have given that some thought, but with an ADs Hot Seat would naturally come…..a College Presidents Hot Seat.”

College President – “Good point….forget what I just said.”

We don’t have an Athletic Directors Hot Seat list here at Coaches Hot Seat….but if we did….

Top 10 Athletic Directors Hot Seat

1. Gene Smith, Ohio State
2. Gene DeFilippo, Boston College
3. Pete Boone, Ole Miss
4. RC Johnson, Memphis
5. Mitch Barnhart, Kentucky
6. DeLoss Dodds, Texas
7. Brian Mackin, UAB
8. Rick Dickson, Tulane
9. Sandy Barbour, California
10. Dan Guerrero, UCLA

4.  Jeff Tedford, California – During Fleet Week in San Francisco over the weekend a Cal alum friend of ours dropped by our dinner table at Mamacita in the Marina District and says….

“Tedford has taken us full circle. Almost to the top of the Pac-10…I mean Pac 12…and now we are right back in the basement again.”

CHS Member – “And USC is coming to town this Thursday.”

Cal alum – “If Tedford loses to Kiffin then I will need someone to explain to me exactly what is the point of having Jeff as the head coach because we could hire anyone to lose to Kiffin.”

CHS Member – “If Tedford loses to Kiffin at AT&T Park on Thursday he will have to swim back across the Bay to Berkley just to cool his ass off.”

Cal alum – “We gave Tedford a plaque for beating Presbyterian and getting his 75 th win. I am thinking of having a plaque made up that will celebrate his 45 th loss if Cal loses to USC to give to Jeff after the game on Thursday.”

CHS Member – “Don’t count on Jeff and Sandy Barbour (Cal AD) taking the time to take pictures with that plaque!”

Jeff Tedford’s record at Cal is now:

Overall – 75 – 44 (.630)
Pac-10/12 – 44 – 35 (.557)

And Cal has left in 2011:

USC
Utah
At UCLA
Washington State
Oregon State
At Stanford
At Arizona State

Ouch!

Can the head football coach at Cal really go two straight seasons with losing records AND also losing the Stanford Axe for two straight years?

Well….this is Cal….right?

5.  Paul Wulff, Washington State – Washington State is playing better football in 2011 than his the Cougs played in his first three seasons on the job but “playing better” is not what Paul Wulff needs….Paul Wulff needs WINS!

Paul Wullf’s record at Washington State is…

Overall: 8 – 34 (.190)
Pac-10/12 – 3 – 26 (.103)

…and if that record is acceptable at Washington State then Washington State football is dead.

Still, even after the loss to UCLA the Cougs are 3 – 2 on the 2011 season and they have left…

Stanford
Oregon State
at Oregon
at California
Arizona State
Utah
at Washington

…and if Wulff wants any chance to get his Cougs team to 6 wins in 2011 then they need to beat the Stanford Cardinal in Pullman on Saturday.

Can Washington State beat Stanford in Pullman? If Stanford keeps playing sloppy and unfocused football the Cougs could but we don’t expect Stanford to keep playing sloppy and unfocused football because if they do then they are going to toss away the chance to have another great season in 2011 and that means the Cardinal’s future is fully in the hands of the coaches and players at Stanford.

6.  Rick Neuheisel, UCLA – Rick Neuheisel and the Bruins got a much needed win late on a Saturday night over Washington State, but then they got that much needed win against Washington State. That win over the Cougs now sets up the….

“Stoops and Neuheisel on a Hot Tin Roof without a fire extinguisher in sight!”

….game on Thursday October 20 in Tucson with the winner coming out of the game still on the Hot Seat and the winner calling his agent on Monday morning to see how much his buyout is and in the case of Neuheisel see if ESPN is still hiring.

7.  Houston Nutt, Ole Miss – After the win over Fresno State a week ago Houston Nutt’s record at Ole Miss is…

Overall – 24 – 19
SEC – 10 – 16

…and the Rebels never needed a win more than they do this week against Alabama…

Check the above record…Houston Nutt’s record at Ole Miss AFTER the Alabama will be….

Overall – 24 – 20
SEC – 10 – 17

After the loss to Alabama on Saturday Houston Nutt and the Rebels never needed a win more with Arkansas coming to Oxford and how Damn ironic is it that it may just be the Hogs that beat the Rebels, no doubt ending Houston Nutt’s coaching career and sending the “Right Reverend” into TV Land with ESPN willing to give-in on the $10K yearly clothing allowance but still standing firm on not agreeing to the Moon Pies and RC Cola in Nutt’s dressing room before he goes on the air because ESPN is worried about finding Moon Pies and RC Cola in the community when they do ESPN GameDay from places like Eugene, Oregon.

Memo to ESPN – There is a 7-Eleven in Springfield, Oregon that sells chocolate and vanilla Moon Pies and if you whisper to the clerk at the register the following word…

“Bocephus”

…and the clerk will go in the back and bring back out a six-pack of RC Cola.

After Alabama and Florida the Rebels have…

at Kentucky
La. Tech
LSU
Mississippi State

Uhhhh…we would recommend that “Little Debbie” Boy up in Memphis go ahead and cave-in on the Moon Pie and RC Cola requests and get that contract for the Right Reverend done so Houston can join the Worldwide Leader for their “Bowl-Lapooza” in December otherwise known as….

“I don’t give a Damn if two losing teams have to play each other in a bowl game! We have lots of empty blocks of primetime TV in December that we have to put something on and Podunk U playing Popcorn U is better than re-running Mike and Mike in the Morning! Someone get the company that makes The Chopper on the phone and see if they are willing to be the title sponsor on this crap bowl game we are trying to put together. Tell them we will give out free Choppers or whatever the Hell you call those things to first 10,000 people through the gates and that Moron that does those Chopper commercials can perform his commercial at halftime at the 50-yard line and that for anyone that buys a Chopper at the game we will throw in a subscription to ESPN the Magazine and give them a tour of ESPN headquarters led by Chris Fowler. Yes, I know Fowler won’t be thrilled with that but tell Chris that handling the Right Reverend next season isn’t going to be a bed of roses either!”

8.  Bob Toledo, Tulane – In his 5 th season at Tulane Bob Toledo’s record is…

Overall – 15 – 39
C-USA – 8 – 26

…and for all those people that say that NO ONE can win at Tulane we offer up Tommy Bowden’s record at Tulane:

1997 – 7 – 4
1998 – 11 – 0

Overall – 18 – 4
C-USA – 11 – 1

Clearly, the RIGHT coach can win at Tulane and if Tulane is going to fire Bob Toledo later this year they better Damn find the RIGHT coach this time around.

Who is the RIGHT coach for Tulane University football?

We can think of three names that could win at Tulane….next year.

9.  Luke Fickell, Ohio State – Saturday night’s game in Lincoln, Nebraska was a great example of a coach that has a lot of talent that has that talent play very well for almost three quarters and then one play (a ripped out fumble) happens and without an experienced head coach on the sidelines to keep the momentum from changing dramatically and going straight downhill the Ohio State Buckeyes had a 1 st year coach that would have never been hired to be the head coach at Ohio State under normal circumstances in Luke Fickell and that inexperience turned what could have been a big win into a stunning loss.

Clearly, Nebraska was completely lost in the first-half against Ohio State and the talent level between the Huskers and the Buckeyes is very even and when the talent level is about even the importance of coaching is magnified even more and instead of Fickell reacting in a dramatic way to the big change of momentum he did what most inexperienced coaches do and let things get totally out-of-control and now Luke Fickell is on the Hot Seat.

Now at 3 – 3 Ohio State has left…

at Illinois
Wisconsin
Indiana
at Purdue
Penn State
at Michigan

…and Ohio State has plenty of talent to win EVERY game left on their schedule and over those 6 remaining games either Luck Fickell will either get Ohio State playing Ohio State football or the Buckeyes will be looking for a new head coach come December.

10.  Mike Riley, Oregon State – Mike Riley and the Beavers got a much needed win over Arizona in Corvallis on Saturday and now they need to keep the ball rolling with BYU coming to town on Saturday and with games at Washington State and at Utah after the Cougars…..Oregon State actually has a chance to get on a roll here, but they could also emerge after the next 3 games with a disaster on their hands and with Stanford, at Cal, Washington and at Oregon left on the schedule. First things first….to keep thing rolling Mike Riley and Oregon State must beat BYU at home on Saturday and if they lose to the Cougs then things could unravel in Corvallis.

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