In order to show the utter absurdity of the BCS (Bowl Championship Series) as a way to determine a National Champion in college football, Coaches Hot Seat introduces the GCS, the Game Championship Series for college basketball! Yes, it is not enough that college football has the most asinine way that could ever be conceived by a mammal with a working brain for a way to determine a champion, but we believe that college basketball should not be left out of this insanity. The GCS, Game Championship Series is thus inaugurated on February 27, 2008, with the first ever GCS Rankings. Yes, we have a ranking too! No, Coaches Hot Seat does not use a formula created by a dozen attorneys that combined one poll that has been around for 50 or more years, and then getting together a group of morons, most who watch no more than one college football game each Saturday, to vote in another poll. That second poll is combined with the first poll, and then a bunch of computers (computers for God’s sake who have never seen a down of football!) are thrown into the mix to spit out the BCS Rankings. Can you say, “Stupid is as stupid does?” No, we are not idiots at Coaches Hot Seat, but rather Americans that believe championships can only be won on the field of play. Imagine that, Americans acting like Americans, instead of this communist/socialist/elitist crapola that the BCS Boys have dreamed up, which exists only to keep a very small group of people employed and which also allows them to keep a stranglehold on the game of college football. Americans believe in fair play, and the BCS is anything but that, but we digress…..
So here we are, with the first ever GCS Rankings, which will be used at the end of the basketball season to set up 5 games with 10 teams, with only the top 2 teams in the final GCS Rankings having the right to play for the National Championship. Sounds stupid you say? That is exactly the point. Below you will find the first ever GCS Rankings, but before we do our witchcraft (we learned well from the BCS Boys) to create these new rankings, first let us explain what the 10 teams that are lucky enough to be part of the great Game Championship Series will be doing. Strike up the band and send the women and children to bed, because this is hype at its worst, and so we move on to the actual GCS Games.
1. The Moron Game- This game will be played in Los Angeles, California (and will be preceded by a parade! Yes, stop the presses! A parade!) on Saturday March 22, 2008 and will match up two teams that are randomly pulled from a hat, from the GCS Rankings! We are sooooo smart!
2. The Idiot Game – This game will be played in Phoenix, Arizona on Saturday March 22, 2008 and will match up two teams that are randomly pulled from a hat, from the GCS Rankings! What genius!
3. The Really Stupid Game – This game will be played in New Orleans, Louisiana on Sunday March 23, 2008 and will match up two teams that are randomly pulled from a hat, from the GCC Rankings! Somebody make me a Hurricane!
4. The Asinine Game - This game will be played in Miami, Florida on Sunday March 23, 2008 and will match up two teams that are randomly pulled from a hat, from the GCS Rankings! Let’s hit South Beach!
5. The GCS Championship (This is dumbest idea since man stood up on his two hind legs, which was about 4 million years ago!) Game- This game will be played in Los Angeles, California (no parade for this one, but we can all go to the Kodak Theater together!) on Sunday March 30 and will match up the two top teams in the Final GCS Rankings! The idiot that thought this up would do well to run for Congress, because as Mark Twain said, “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
Now that we have the basic outlines of this incredibly stupid way to determine a National Champion, we introduce the First Annual GCS, Game Championship Series Rankings! We will use the GCS Rankings to pick the teams to play in the above games, and since this whole things makes absolutely no sense, I think we all know how very stupid the BCS really is…… Now on to the GCS Rankings:
1. North Carolina
There you have it, the first ever GCS (Game Championship Series) Rankings! What joy and how smart we are to come up with this stupidity! Now, we all know how this foolishness ends, but just to recap, at the end of the regular season the 2 top teams in the Final GCS Rankings will play in the GCS Championship Game. No other teams in college basketball will be eligible to play for the National Championship, but rather the people running the individual GCS Games will pick 8 teams to play in the other GCS Games. Pure genius you may say, but no you are wrong. A first grader could come up with this idea, but then that same first grader would come to the conclusion that his idea for the GCS was really stupid, and then that same first grader would draw up a series of brackets to determine the National Champion on the field of play. That would be a sure mark of an American!
Right now (Imagine I am saying this breathlessly!) if the season was over, North Carolina would play Tennessee for the National Championship in the GCS Championship Game! The other 8 teams the GCS Games would pick would be playing in meaningless exhibition games, but we never told you there was any logic to this insanity. Just for the sake of stupidity, below are how the games would shake out if the college basketball season ended right now:
GCS Championship Game – North Carolina vs. Tennessee
The Moron Game – Memphis vs. Texas
The Idiot Game – UCLA vs. Duke
The Really Stupid Game – Stanford vs. Xavier
The Asinine Game – Wisconsin vs. Georgetown
There you have it, the GCS, Game Championship Series! 2 teams get to play for the National Championship and the rest play in meaningless exhibition games. If this seems very stupid then you realize how so very stupid the BCS is, and how it is abhorrent to everything that America stands for. Are there really living, breathing people that can defend the BCS with a straight face? Yes, and some of those very people will be gathered in Indianapolis in a little over two weeks to pick the teams for…….hold on…….can you believe it?……..don’t say it is so……yes, the very evil……A PLAYOFF TOURNAMENT. What a bunch of hypocrites!
We will be updating the GCS Rankings every week until the end of the season, and we will end up with two teams and two teams only out of all of the great college basketball teams in the country of ours, that will be able to play for the National Championship. Everyone else can…., well, you know what they can do when an abhorrent system like the GCS is used to determine a champion. Those other teams can go to HELL! How so very stupid…….