Coaches Hot Seat Quotes of the Day – Monday, October 24, 2011 – George Washington Carver
“Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.”
“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.”
“When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.”
“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.”
“No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving something behind.”
“Since new developments are the products of a creative mind, we must therefore stimulate and encourage that type of mind in every way possible.”
“There is no short cut to achievement. Life requires thorough preparation – veneer isn’t worth anything.”
Sitting around a TV in Palo Alto on Saturday night after witnessing in-person the Stanford Cardinal obliterate the Washington Huskies and then watching the storm-delayed Texas Tech – Oklahoma game while drinking some extremely cold beer (beer is Very Damn Good when Very Damn Cold…but why?)….
Yes, that Texas Tech win over Oklahoma sure threw a chink into all those Morons in the national media that were talking about a “Final Four” in college football’s regular season….but calling the “Final Four” folks Morons does a disservice to Morons everywhere so an even better name for these Idiots that prop up the Bogus and American BCS is…
Real Men of Genius
Yes, those were some Real Men of Genius in the national college football who almost all say the Same Damn Thing as if someone has pre-programmed them to all be alike and to have the same opinions and no doubt if someone (especially some BCS PR Hack) shows up at the press box at the LSU – Alabama game in two weeks at Bryant-Denny Stadium and tells the national college football media that the Sun comes up in the West no doubt there will be stories flying out of Tuscaloosa that we have been wrong about the Sun for centuries and it actually comes up in the West…because some BCS PR Hack told us so! Makes one wonder if any of these news folks read 1984 because they ARE what George Orwell wrote about…..come to life!
…getting back to Palo Alto on Saturday around that TV drinking extremely cold beer and watching Tommy Tuberville’s Texas Tech team beat those mighty Oklahoma Sooners that so many thought were the best team in the land (see above and the Real Men of Genius) we were passing around the recent column by ESPN’s Rick Reilly on the Bogus and Un-American BCS and Reilly reminded us again why he is paid so much money to write and not paid all that money to make pithy statements on TV for the Worldwide Leader:
“College football has more ways to hose you than Home Depot.
There are 10 undefeated teams right now. Thanks to the prehistoric and Mr. Magoo-sighted BCS one-game playoff system, only two teams will get a chance to prove they’re champions.
Compared to the BCS, North Korean dictators are chosen in a richly satisfying process.
So let’s play … Who Will the BCS Crucify This Time?
Will it be … Oklahoma?
The Sooners (6-0) started the season No. 1 in the coaches’ poll and have done nothing but sledgehammer every team since. And yet they’re No. 3 in the inexplicable BCS standings — behind LSU (No. 1 BCS and FBI) and Alabama (No. 2). The BCS is so SEC-bent that even if the Sooners beat undefeated and fourth-ranked Oklahoma State in the Bedlam Bowl, there’s insane talk that if the LSU-Bama game is close those two would play again in the title game.
The SEC. We don’t have to prove anything.
If you’re Sooners coach Bob Stoops, what do you do: weep like Sally Fields? Kick a hole in a window? Egg BCS chairman Bill Hancock’s house?”
Oh, “That’s Gold, Rick! Gold,” as Bania told Jerry Seinfeld on what else.…Seinfeld when Jerry was good enough to write Bania some comedy material…
Yes, Rick your latest on the Bogus and Un-American BCS is “Gold,” but it took an incredibly absurd and unfortunately probably true column about the Bogus and Un-American BCS which was written by Tom Oates of the Wisconsin State Journal after Wisconsin lost to Michigan State on a last second fluke “throw it up and hope” play that had to be changed by the instant replay booth to really bring home the Sheer Stupidity of the BCS. Yes, if you are stupid enough to support the Bogus and Un-American BCS read the following and weep for the Idiocy….
Wisconsin loses on the last play of the game on a “Hail Mary and Hope” play that had to be overturned by instant replay which dropped the Badgers record to…
6 – 1 overall
2 – 1 in the Big Ten
…and they still have 5 games to play and they play the only team ahead of them in the Big Ten Leaders Division in Penn State in the last game of the season and if they go undefeated and beat the Nittany Lions they will play in the Big Ten Championship Game against a team from the Big Ten Legends Division (these Big Ten divisions are just crazy!) and thus they can still win the Big Ten title but they are somehow out of the race to win a national championship?
What the Hell?
Did some kind of crazy combination of the Stupidest Person on Planet Earth, the Biggest Moron you know and the Real Men of Genius come together to create a postseason for Major College Football where the above could actually happen to Wisconsin that they could finish at 12 – 1 and be Big Ten Champions and NOT have a chance to win a National Championship? (Ditto for Oklahoma by the way…but then one could say that ever year about the Bogus and Un-American BCS)
Yes, the above is TRUE and that postseason system is the Bogus and Un-American BCS and anyone stupid enough to support such a system must have been raised by some very sorry Communists because even the Communists we used to run across back in college wouldn’t have supported the Bogus BCS because those Crazy Communists at least had an IQ over room temperature which is not what the people in the news media have that have been talking about a “Final Four” for the college football’s regular season this year….but then hey if you shout “Free Chili Hot Dogs” in a press box watch out because you will next see a stampede of college football writers running over everyone to get at those Dogs and if you then tell the press that they can have a second Chili Dog if they write a column blowing blue smoke up Bill Hancock’s ass then you will then shortly see hands flying to laptops and news stories pouring out blowing blue smoke up Bill Hancock’s ass and of course there goes those second-helpings of Free Chili Dogs!
Meanwhile in South Bend, Indiana a once proud football program…that would be Notre Dame for the people that forgot they played big-time college football in Indiana and who the Hell can blame anyone for coming to that obvious conclusion…the University of Notre Dame football program has been reduced to “hoping” to get into a Bogus BCS game which according to Matt Fortuna of ESPN.com has now been dashed after the loss to those mighty USC Trojans…
…which is another shining example of the Absolute Idiocy of the Bogus and Un-American BCS when one has the Notre Dame football team “hoping” and no doubt “praying” that they would get into a BCS game which in the REAL world is nothing more than a…
Meaningless Exhibition Game….That Means NOTHING!
Yes, we know America is filled with lots of Candy Asses but when there are major college football programs “hoping” and sometimes “praying” to get into a Bogus and Meaningless Exhibition Game so they will have the right and requirement don’t forget to buy Millions of Dollars of tickets and hotel rooms from the “hosts” of s Meaningless Exhibition Game that means NOTHING AT ALL then you can be assured you are entering not the….
Candy Ass Land
The only way out is get an extremely cold beer in your hands and start acting like an American again which means you call BS….BS and the BCS is….
Getting back to Palo Alto if you didn’t see the Washington – Stanford game on Saturday evening the final score was…
Stanford 65 – Washington 21
..and the game wasn’t even that close!
Which sets up the Coaches Hot Seat semi-annual trip to Los Angeles for the Stanford – USC game next Saturday (Yes, we will be checking into our hotel in Santa Monica with several large coolers that are filled with…sodas….what else?) where The Cardinal will get to play those mighty USC Trojans who beat-up on those Catholics in Indiana that for some reason can’t seem to learn how to hang onto the football.
Memo to Brian Kelly (Notre Dame head coach): If your team doesn’t quit fumbling the ball your rear-end is going to end up on the Hot Seat!
The Coaches Hot Seat recommendation you ask?
Fumbling drills until those Irish hands bleed
Extremely cold beer!
Someone tell Lane Kiffin and the Trojan fans that The Cardinal is coming to La-La Land and believe it or not Stanford is going for its THIRD straight win over USC and with a win next Saturday that would make it FOUR of the last FIVE for Stanford over USC!
Hell, someone should check if the Sun is coming up in the West or not because these are strange…and exciting as Hell times on The Farm!
With USC in mind and plenty of that extremely cold beer consumed the question of the night was as we watched Texas Tech clinch the win over those mighty Sooners was…
“Can Stanford hang 50 points on USC in the LA Coliseum?”