Before we get to our Week 5 Observations a few notes about the Stanford – Washington game after seeing a taped replay of the game on TV and non-Stanford fans can feel free to skip over this section of the Coaches Hot Seat Blog BUT you might get a laugh or two if you read it!
We didn’t think it was possible BUT the Stanford football team looked WORSE watching at taped replay on television than it did in person at CenturyLink field in Seattle against Washington on Thursday night!
One of the wives of a CHS member when picking him up at the airport on Friday asked in reference to Stanford’s loss to Washington:
“What kind of hokum pee-wee offense was Stanford running exactly?”
CHS Member: “Oh, you thought the Stanford offense was even on the pee-wee level?”
CHS Member’s wife: “Good point.”
The FACTS are very simple after watching a TV replay of the Stanford – Washington game from last Thursday night:
The Stanford football team especially on offense played like they were…
NOT PREPARED
…to play against Washington and The Cardinal offense looked like it was…
NOT EVEN COACHED UP
…for the game against Washington and let’s not even get into the play-calling because it was…
BEYOND BAD
…and it really did seem like that if the calls had been made by blind and deaf men the Stanford offense would have performed better!
As for the play of Stanford QB Josh Nunes against Washington we had two different Coaches Hot Seat members grade Nunes play against the Huskies and both came back with the same rating which is the WORST grade you can get here at Coaches Hot Seat:
CAP
What does CAP mean exactly?
Candy Ass Pussy!
We have a question for Stanford QB Josh Nunes:
We know you were raised in the Land of the Candy Asses, California, but Son, do you want to be known as a Candy Ass Pussy that didn’t have the Guts and the Courage to play the position of quarterback for Stanford University in the Pac-12 Conference?
ESPN’s Gen Wojciechowski told college football fans everywhere in Week 1 of the season that Josh Nunes speaks the French language fluently which is GREAT but we have another question for Josh Nunes:
Josh, do you know why the French planted trees along the Champs Elysees?
Answer: So the Germans could march in the shade!
There is ONLY one thing worse than being a California Candy Ass Pussy and that is being a California Candy Ass Pussy that speaks French!
Since Josh Nunes does speech French fluently we are going to ask the next question in Josh’s second language:
Question in French: Josh, voulez-vous être connu comme un Pussy Ass Candy qui parle couramment le français ou voulez-vous être connu comme un stratège américain qui a le courage et le courage de jouer au football dans la Conférence Pac-12?
What does the above mean in the language of the Colonists that defeated the British in the Revolutionary War and saved the Precious Asses of the French twice in the last century otherwise known as the language of ENGLISH?
Question in English: Josh, do you want to be known as a Candy Ass Pussy that speaks French fluently or do you want to be known as an American quarterback that has the courage and the guts to play football in the Pac-12 Conference?
There is ONLY ONE right answer to the above question Josh Nunes and that ONLY ONE right answer is:
I want to be known as an American quarterback that played the game of football with courage and guts!
As for those that think Josh Nunes is somehow a “kid” that shouldn’t be criticized we would like to remind everyone that OUR country has young and brave men and women stationed all over the world right now including in war zones like Afghanistan where there are..
70,000 US Military Personnel
….and the vast majority of those you and brave Americans are YOUNGER than Josh Nunes!
Here’s a thought for Josh Nunes: At least show the courage and guts when playing football of the young and brave Americans that are serving in Afghanistan and who are putting their very existence on the line everyday so you can sit on that beautiful Stanford University campus and not worry about anything but going to class and practicing/playing football.
Is that really too much to ask?
We don’t think so.
Now if Josh Nunes DOESN’T have the Guts and Courage to play quarterback at Stanford and in the Pac-12 Conference then his rear-end should be on the bench and The Cardinal should keep putting in people until they find someone with Guts and Courage to LEAD Stanford football!
As for the Stanford football team in 2012 The Cardinal is now…
3 – 1
…on the season after a close win over San Jose State, an obliteration of Duke, a BIG win over USC and a pitiful and disgraceful loss to a Washington team that got crushed by LSU only a couple of weeks before and now Stanford has left:
Arizona
At Notre Dame
At California
Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon State
At Oregon
At UCLA
ONLY two teams left on Stanford’s schedule have MORE or EQUAL talent with The Cardinal…
Notre Dame and Oregon
…and no doubt those will be tough road games BUT Stanford has the talent win EVER game left on their schedule IF…
The Cardinal is COACHED UP by the Stanford coaching staff starting with head coach David Shaw
The next game at home on The Farm against Arizona is especially important for Stanford head coach David Shaw because Arizona has been a very mediocre football program for over a decade now and is trying to get things going under new head coach Rich Rodriguez BUT there would be..
NO EXCUSE
…for Stanford to lose to Arizona at home on October 6.
Here’s the problem: If Stanford plays like they did against Washington
THEY WILL GET BEAT BY ARIZONA
AND
Stanford head coach David Shaw will find his rear-end on the Hot Seat on Monday October 8.
The alumni, fans and boosters of Stanford Football ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW Stanford football to go back to being a mediocre, average and an embarrassment to the school program especially with the current Stanford football coach staff putting in only about half of the effort that it took for Jim Harbaugh and his staff (which includes some of the current Stanford staff including head coach David Shaw) to rebuild and raise the Stanford football program from NOTHING.
We expect the Stanford football coach staff to work AT LEAST as hard as the alumni, fans and booster of Stanford football who work their asses off all week long and have very little time for goofing off and joking around especially when the David Shaw and the Stanford coaches…
DID NOT HAVE Stanford PREPARED TO PLAY against Washington last Thursday night.
PERIOD.
Memo to Stanford head coach David Shaw: Besides your wife and children there is NO ONE on this Earth that is in your corner and pulling for you more to be a successful head coach of the Stanford football program than us here at Coaches Hot Seat and that is TRUE of lots of reasons BUT Stanford football is…
NOT GOING BACK TO MEDIOCRITY
….and either you and your coaching staff will start working harder than us and getting your team to play EVER GAME HARD or you David Shaw will find yourself back as an assistant coach and a Helluva lot sooner than you could ever expect and for Damn sure the Stanford football heading coaching job does not “belong” to you David Shaw OR ANYONE ELSE on this Earth.
As for the Stanford football team IF you don’t have any respect for your coaches and school then go ahead and come out against Arizona and slop around and play like you don’t give a Damn if you WIN or LOSE but IF you do care then play against Arizona the way you should play EVERY GAME:
Like it is the LAST football game you will EVER play.
See you on The Farm on Saturday October 6 for Arizona vs. Stanford!
Some Quick Observations About Week 5 in Major College Football
That was one GREAT day of Major College Football!
Georgia Tech LOSES to Middle Tennessee
Middle Tennessee – 49
Georgia Tech – 28
What the Hell?
But ESPN’s Sean McDonough told EVERYONE a few weeks back that Georgia Tech defensive coordinator Al Groh was one of the “best defensive coordinators in the business!”
YES, Al Groh knows a LOT about defense and we here at Coaches Hot Seat know a LOT about politics BUT rest assured you probably don’t want us in the White House!
Here’s a thought for the Georgia Tech defense: TACKLE SOMEONE!
West Virginia BEATS Baylor
West Virginia – 70
Baylor – 63
You score 70 points and ONLY win by a touchdown?
This coming week we will all get to see if Texas can stop the Mountaineers!
Missouri BARELY BEATS UCF
Oh, that was too Damn close and if Missouri had lost to UCF with the slate of SEC games they have left you could have kissed the 2012 season goodbye for the Tigers!
Texas A&M CRUSHES Arkansas
Texas A&M – 58
Arkansas – 10
With basically the same team in 2011 Arkansas BEAT Texas A&M…
42 – 38
…and with basically the same team in 2010 Arkansas BEAT Texas A&M…
24 – 17
….and in 2012 Arkansas LOSES to Texas A&M by 48 points?
What the Hell?
Don’t tell us that coaching isn’t EVERYTHING in college football….BECAUSE IT IS!
It’s just too bad that the former head coach of the Hogs was riding around the Arkansas countryside on his Arkansas Razorback-themed Harley-Davidson without wearing a helmet on the first of April with a decent looking blonde on the back that WAS NOT his wife….OR RATHER in the words of our good buddy from Ft. Smith, Arkansas tonight after he had returned home from the Arkansas – Texas A&M game…
“That Son of a Bitch Bobby Petrino riding around on his Harley with some blonde floozy…if I could only get my hands……”
We will leave the rest of our Ft. Smith, Arkansas buddy’s comments to your imagination but needless to say we would recommend that Bobby Petrino not go riding around the Ft. Smith, Arkansas area on a Harley without his helmet!
Georgia BEATS Tennessee
Georgia gave up 44 points to……Tennessee?
Hell, West Virginia would have hung 100 on the Dawgs easy on Saturday!
Ohio State BEATS Michigan State
Did Urban Meyer recently say that Braxton Miller was BETTER than Tim Tebow?
Uhhh….did Urban take one too many of his blood pressure pills or something before he said that OR has Urban Meyer lost his Freaking Mind?
La. Tech BEATS Virginia
Sonny Dykes’ La. Tech team is now 4 – 0 and we CANNOT WAIT for that October 13 game against Texas A&M which is being played on the La. Tech campus in beautiful Ruston, LA!
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Our prediction on the score of that La. Tech – Texas A&M game:
La. Tech – 101
Texas A&M – 100
Cincinnati BEATS Virginia Tech
Didn’t we see in a game earlier this year that Virginia Tech has an empty trophy case in their athletics building on campus that has a little note in it that says something like…
“Reserved for National Championship Trophy”
Uhhhhh….we sure the Hell hope you are planning on seeing that empty trophy case and note card in there for a LONNNNNNNNNNNNNG TIME because the Hokies ain’t winning no National Championship anytime soon!
Arizona State BEATS California
Arizona State – 27
California – 17
A Cal-alum friend of ours called from a bar in San Francisco a couple of hours and several drinks after the Golden Bears fell to the Aztecs and says…
Cal football is going to win ONE FOOTBALL GAME this season and that ONE WIN is going to be over Southern Utah!
No, these are not happy times in the Land of the Wackos otherwise known as Berkeley, California!
South Carolina BEATS Kentucky
Yes, South Carolina BEAT Kentucky after starting slow on Saturday BUT also on Saturday a high-ranking academic at a well-known university called us and asked in reference to Steve Spurrier saying he had the backing of the administration at the University of South Carolina to help him get a columnist that works for The State newspaper fired for criticizing the GREAT Steve Spurrier who is evidently above criticism since as we all know….
Steve Spurrier is the SECOND PERFECT MAN in human history!
And being the son of a preacher Steve must know who the FIRST PERFECT MAN was!
Getting back to that high-ranking academic he asked us on Saturday:
“If Coach Spurrier has the backing of the administration at the University of South Carolina including the President of the school (that would be Harris Pastides who got his Masters degree and PhD from Yale University) to help get that local columnist fired then I am guessing that the South Carolina Board of Trustees will be firing the President next since he would be participating in a scheme to muzzle free speech in his local community there on the basis that one of his top employees doesn’t like what someone in the press said about him.”
YES, that high-ranking academic would be right that if the President of the University of South Carolina Harris Pastides is working with Steve Spurrier to get The State columnist Ron Morris fired then Harris Pastides will need to have his rear-end throttled out of higher education next because he would be a Helluva sorry excuse for an university president!
Meanwhile ‘Ol Steve “Lenin and Stalin weren’t that bad in running the Soviet Union. Hell, they only killed 30 plus million people AND they made Damn sure the USSR press didn’t criticize them which is the way it should be since the media criticizing people in power is just plain wrong even if Lenin and Stalin were slaughtering millions the USSR press was right to be shut-up and say nothing” Spurrier got a win over Kentucky and sets-up what should be a very entertaining game against Georgia next Saturday night!
Oh, but remember you in the news media in South Carolina….
When you see the Great Steve Spurrier get down on your knees and call out “Oh, Great One can I kiss your ass please your Highness?”
AND
Maybe if you are lucky the Great Steve Spurrier will give you a few moments of his very valuable time because remember Spurrier is a FOOTBALL COACH and is of course more important than ANY other living human being on the Earth including the several Million members of the US Military that are fighting and serving OUR country all over the world right now!
We always pulled for Steve Spurrier here at Coaches Hot Seat….
BUT NOT ANYMORE!
YES, ALL of the above and in FACT EVERYTHING you read in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog is….
OUR OPINION!
….Steve Spurrier otherwise known as “His Highness the Great One” to lackeys in the news media that have forgotten they are American Citizens!
Texas BEATS Oklahoma State
That was one GREAT football game between Texas and Oklahoma State on Saturday night….just one Helluva game!
Nebraska BEATS Wisconsin
If Nebraska had played with the same passion and fire they brought against the Badgers against UCLA earlier this year the Cornhuskers would be 5 – 0 right now.
Louisville BEATS Southern Miss
Charlie Strong’s Louisville team just keeps finding a way to WIN!
Oregon State BEATS Arizona
Mike Riley and the Oregon State Beavers are…..3 and Freaking 0!
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