Daily Archive: November 13, 2023

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – These Prima Donna Million $$$ Head Coaches Need To Get Off Their Worthless Asses and Show Up and Work!

 

Post Week 11 of the 2023 CFB Season is done and that’s just Not Believable but onto Week 12 we go!

The Coaches Hot Seat Member who normally writes the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis each week during the season is traveling in Europe on business so wasn’t here last week to do the Post Week 10 write-up and he’s not back yet as he is still working to drum-up more business on the Continent so we have a pinch-hitter at the plate and believe this is usually the spot we bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell so come on out Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Tom Allen, Indiana – Tom Allen is a Good Man who has done a decent job at Indiana but with 3 Straight Losing Seasons now locked-in we doubt Tom will survive to coach the Hoosiers in 2024 but what in Hell do we know?

With the loss to the Illini on Saturday the Hoosiers are now 3 – 7 with games left against…

Michigan State
At Purdue

Hell…both those games are Winnable so let’s see if you can win the them Tom and Good Luck to You Coach!

2.  Sam Pittman, Arkansas – Sam Pittman also a Good Man who has gotten behind the 8-Ball at Arkansas and we not are not quite sure why the Hogs weren’t ready to play Auburn at home after a Big Win over the Gators on the road but a devastating and disastrous loss to Florida leaves Arkansas at 3 – 7 with games left against…

FIU
Missouri

Hell….Arkansas can win both those games and finish at 5 – 7 and maybe Sam can get this thing straightened-out in the offseason but what in the Hell do we know?

3.  Billy Napier, Florida – It’s hard to know what to make of Billy Napier at Florida who has Severely Underperformed with the Gators compared to recent Florida Head Coaches and here’s how recent UF Coaches done in their first 2 years on the job realizing Billy Boy now sitting on record of…

11 – 12

Gators HCs after 2 seasons >

Dan Mullen:  21 – 5
Jim McElwain:  19 – 8
Will Muschamp:  15 – 11
Urban Meyer:  22 – 4
Ron Zook:  16 – 10
Steve Spurrier:  19 – 4
Galen Hall:  17 – 1 – 1

That’s why Billy has been nothing short of a Total Disaster and we haven’t a clue what we would do if we hired as AD at Florida tomorrow besides sitting down with Napier and finding out…

Just what in the Hell is going on here Son?

Florida is now at 5 – 5 on the season has left in 2023…

At Mizzou
Florida State

That looks like 5 – 7 to us and that would leave Napier’s 2-year record at Florida at…

11 – 14

What in the Hell is going on in Gainesville exactly to cause that and for the life of us and we cannot think of 1 Damn Reason why this could possibly happen but then what in the Hell do we know?

4.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico – In 4 seasons at New Mexico Danny Gonzales records are >

Overall:   10 – 31
MWC:  4 – 25

Enough said on that.

5.  Dave Aranda, Baylor – In Dave Aranda’s last 14 games his record is…

3 – 11

3 and Freaking 11!

What in the Hell is going on in Waco exactly?

Aranda’s Records at Baylor >

Overall:  23 – 23
Big 12:  15 – 19

That’s just Damn Pitiful and 3 – 7 Bears have left in 2023 >

At TCU
West Virginia

That looks like 3 – 9 to us and that’s just Damn Pitiful and is driven by an Arrogance that Dave Aranda believes he knows more about the Game of Football than anyone else on Earth, in our humble opinion, and not surprisingly the Baylor Bears are getting their asses handed to them which is not surprising to us at all!

6.  Ken Wilson, Nevada – With the loss to Utah State on Saturday Nevada’s record in 2023 dropped to 2 – 8 and Head Coach Ken Wilson’s Records at UNR now stand at >

Overall:   4 – 18
MWC:  2 – 12

Nevada has left this season games against…

At Colorado State
Wyoming

That looks like 2 – 10 to us and enough said on that!

7.  Dana Holgorsen, Houston – Saturday’s home loss to a Hapless Cincinnati team was Holgorsen’s 57 th game as the Head Coach at Houston and if that’s what your ass is going to put on the field in your 57 th game at a job like Houston paying your ass $3M+ a season then your ass should be fired on the field right after the game!

Now at 4 – 6 on the season for Houston with games left against…

Oklahoma State
At UCF

…Holgorsen may very well end up with Another Losing Season at Houston which be…

3 Losing Seasons in 5 Years on the job!

What in the Hell?

Hell, that’s worse than Jimbo Fisher and Fisher’s ass just got run out of College Station even though he had a $77M buyout!

8.  Zach Arnett, Mississippi State – What we don’t get about Zach Arnett’s tenure at Mississippi State is just why in the Hell with a returning QB who is very Damn good QB running The Pirate’s system why change to an offense different from the one that Mike Leach had such great success with in Starkville?

It Just Makes No Damn Sense At All!

With the destruction of the Bulldogs by Texas A&M that leaves Miss State at 4 – 6 on the year with games left against…

Southern Miss
Ole Miss

We would Highly Recommend Zach winning both of these games if he wants to hold onto his job and for Damn sure if we were hiring a Head Coach at Mississippi State we would find a Coach that could run an up-tempo offense that was the same or something similar to what The Pirate ran in Starkville because that’s the…

Only Damn Way at MSU Your Ass Is Winning in the SEC Conference folks!

9.  Lincoln Riley, USC – You have to wonder…

Is Lincoln Riley just a Damn Moron, is he just Very Stubborn, or is the Boy just a Damn Moron because Everyone with a 2+ IQ saw that the Trojans Defense cost USC a shot at a National Title last season but Ole Lincoln Boy comes back with…

Same DC with Same Crapola Defense and has to run that DC in the middle of the season because of that Same Crapola Defense!

What exactly is your ass thinking Riley or does your ass even know 2 + 2 and/or that your ass has to play Some Kind of Damn Defense to Win Something Son?

USC has now lost 4 of their last 5 games and shoulda have lost at Cal and could have easily lost to Arizona and Colorado too because of that…

Same Crapola Defense

…and now the 7 – 4 Trojans who Bozo the Clown could have coached to 10 Wins Minimum have left in 2023…

UCLA

…at the Coliseum and the Bruins are playing Crapola Football too as well so this should be a Humdinger of a Game with the Losing Head Coach having his ass launched onto the…

Face of the Sun Hot Seat!

10.  Mario Cristobal, Miami – In 2 seasons at Miami Mario Cristobal is now sitting on a record of…

11 – 11

…and the 6 – 4 Canes have games left against…

Louisville
At Boston College

…this season and Hell Miami could easily lose both of those games and here are Miami HCs records after 2 seasons on the job >

Manny Diaz:  14 – 10
Mark Richt:  19 – 7
Al Golden:  13 – 11
Randy Shannon:  12 – 13
Larry Coker:  24 – 1
Butch Davis:  17 – 6
Dennis Erickson:  21 – 3
Jimmy Johnson:  18 – 7
Howard Schnellenberger:  14 – 9

Hell….Mario Cristobal could end up with the Worst Damn First 2 Years of a Head Coach in Modern Miami Football History and save us the Horseshit that Mario took over a worse situation than some of the above Coaches!

That’s Absolute Crapola and for Mario to claim that is Total Horseshit and how a Damn Loser talks!

It’s Miami Son! Quit Crying and Coach Your Damn Team and Earn that $10M a season or resign but whichever….Quit Your Damn Crying and Excuse-Making your Prima Donna Piece of Crapola who hasn’t done…

1 Damn Thing In Your Entire Life to have EARNED the Right to Coach Miami and you get the job anyway and cry to anyone and everyone that your ass took over a disaster!

That’s Horseshit!

11.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State – Butch Jones in 3 seasons at Arkansas State >

Overall:  10 – 24
Sun Belt:  5 – 17

Oh the 5 – 5 Red Wolves have left in 2023…

Texas State
At Marshall

We Highly Recommend Butch beat Texas State on Saturday and Marshall on November 25!

12.  Matt Rhule, Nebraska – Tell you what we are Damn Tired Of here at Coaches Hot Seat >

Coaches making $9M+ a year and putting teams on the field that perform like Total Crapola as if…

Their Asses Are Not Even Coached at All

…which is the way that Nebraska played against Maryland at home on Saturday!

Just what in the Hell is your ass doing all week Matt because if you are going to claim that You and the Nebraska Coaches were actually Coaching the Huskers last week in the run-up to the Terps game…

All Your Damn Asses should be fired Right Damn Now!

Memo to Matt Rhule >  Get off Your Lazy Damn Ass and Start Coaching Nebraska and if your ass isn’t interested in Coaching the Huskers then your ass needs to be run out of Lincoln as well and this time the folks at Nebraska can hire…

Bozo the Clown because at least Bozo’s ass would show up and Do His Damn Job which your ass is not doing Son!

$9M+ a year and your ass loses at home to a Pitiful Maryland team….Geez…

Matt Rhule’s ass should be fired tonight and put on Greyhound Bus to Loserville USA where his ass would be right at Damn Home!

The now 5 – 5 Huskers have left this season…

At Wisconsin
Iowa

Got 5 – 7?

You gonna have it Nebraska fans because Matt Rhule’s ass ain’t gonna do Damn anything because if his ass actually showed up and worked the Nebraska team would…wait for it…

Show Up and Play Football!

Matt Rhule = Just Another Overpaid Worthless Excuse for a Head Coach who needs to get his Worthless Ass run and run out of football FOREVER!

Let’s Play Football!

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