Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – We Miss You Mr. Johnny Cash…But That Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Still Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!


Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

We Miss You Mr. Johnny Cash…But That Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Still Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell!

Post Week 11 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings


1.  Mark Helfrich, Oregon – On Sunday a Coaches Hot Seat member who had traveled to Eugene, Oregon for the Stanford – Oregon game was asked about the current state of the Ducks football program after nosing around a bit in Eugene and watching a very average Stanford team whip Oregon and his response was all Jed Clampett…

“Pitiful…Just Damn Pitiful!”


As any coach worth a Damn knows the one thing he or she cannot afford to lose is…

Their players belief and trust in the head coach

….and it seems to us that the Oregon players for whatever reason have lost their belief and trust in Mark Helfrich and that is a FATAL moment in an organization’s future chance for success.

A handful of Coaches Hot Seat members have been involved in situations in the US Navy where first the crew, then the officers, and then the local squadron commander lost belief and trust in a commanding officer of an US Navy warship which is a FATAL issue that must be corrected quickly and in most instances that IS corrected quickly with many times…

A Commanding Officer being relieved of command at sea or wherever the ship may be at the time including a change of command that three Coaches Hot Seat members were involved in on a US Navy warship in the Persian Gulf right in the middle of Desert Storm in 1991!


With Oregon now at 3 – 7 and Mark Helfrich sitting on a record of…

9 – 11

….in his last 20 games against teams from Power 5 Conferences it seems that the Mark Helfrich era at Oregon will end between now and December 1 especially since there are calls being made from airplanes…

View of Oregon Ducks from high above gets serious after loss, John Canzano, The Oregonian

…and it will be fascinating to see who Oregon hires to lead the Ducks program now after two straight…

Vanilla and Boring As Hell Coaches off-the-field and in press conferences

…who are both probably going to be fired in 2016 meaning Mark Helfrich and Chip Kelly who combined have won…

82 Football Games

…at Oregon over the 8 seasons and yet…

Does anyone have a Damn clue who Mark Helfrich and Chip Kelly are as coaches and men?

We sure the Hell don’t!

Here’s to hoping that Oregon Football this time hires a head coach that Oh Maybe…

Actually has a Damn Pulse!


2.  Steve Addazio, Boston College – Boston College got whipped 45 – 7 on Friday night in a game that was as predictable in being a BIG loss for the Eagles as…

Nick Saban getting pissed-off this week with the fans and the media taking Chattanooga too lightly

…and now in FOUR seasons at Boston College Steve Addazio is sitting on records of…

Overall:  21 – 27

ACC:  9 – 22

….and has lost…

16 of his last 23 games coaching the Boston College football team!

If that doesn’t equal YOUR ASS IS FIRED then please….

What the Hell does?


3.  David Beaty, Kansas – With the Kansas loss to Iowa State on Saturday head coach David Beaty’s records at KU now stand at…

Overall:  1 – 21

Big 12:  0 – 16

….and the last two head football coaches at Kansas..

David Beaty and Charlie Weis


…have combined records over the past FIVE seasons of…

Overall:  7 – 43

Big 12:  1 – 34

Send in the Freaking Clowns to Lawrence, Kansas…Just Send The Damn Clowns In Already!


4.  Rich Rodriguez, Arizona – Nothing says your football program is headed into the toilet like coaching in your 63 rd game at a school on your home field and getting beat by a score of…

49 – 24

…in front of a stadium filled with about 10,000 people at most!

We don’t have a clue what is going on at Arizona with Rich Rodriguez but for Damn Sure…Something Is Going On and it Ain’t Damn Good!

What’s Going On RichRod?


5.  Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – With the loss to Oklahoma Sate on the road on Saturday by one point the Texas Tech Red Raiders record in 2016 fell to 4 – 6 with games left against…

At Iowa State

….and at least there is a chance that Tech can get to a bowl game in 2016 but really now…should Texas Tech be struggling to get to a bowl game in Kliff Kingsbury’s FOURTH season at the school?

Not really and that is why it’s important to put Kliff Kingsbury’s record at Texas Tech in a perspective relative to the other THREE head coaches that have coached at Tech since 1986 and those coaches are with their win/loss records…

Spike Dykes (1986 – 1999): 82 – 67 – 1 (.550)

Mike Leach (2000 – 2009): 84 – 43 (.661)

Tommy Tuberville (2010 – 2012): 20 – 17 (.541)


Kliff Kingsbury (2013 – 2016): 23 – 25 (.479)

Sorry…but there’s just No Damn Reason to not have a plus .500 record at Texas Tech and when one looks deeper at Kingsbury’s record at Tech one finds the following troubling record…

Record Against Power 5 Conference Schools with .500+ Records = 7 – 25

Geez….if you have a 7 – 25 record against Power 5 Conference Schools with .500+ records in FOUR years at Texas Tech you have to be on a Flaming Hot Seat….right?


6.  Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Notre Dame beat Army on Saturday by the score of…

44 – 6

…which is about the score ANY Notre Dame team should be an Army team that does not have even ONE player that would get a scholarship offer from the Irish and with that win Notre Dame is now….

4 – 6

…on the season with games left against….

Virginia Tech

Please forgive us but in our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat who has some members that have been watching Notre Dame football since the 1970s….Any Notre Dame head coach that isn’t able to post a .500 or better record in ANY season SHOULD BE FIRED but especially a Notre Dame coach in his…

7 th

….season in South Bend and we have some news for fans of Irish football….

There’s not a Chance in Hell that Notre Dame beats USC in Los Angeles on November 26!


Hell….if Virginia Tech actually shows-up ready to play unlike they did against Georgia Tech the Hokies might just beat the Irish in South Bend this coming Saturday!

So let’s say Notre Dame beats Virginia Tech and loses to USC to end the season at…

5 – 7

….that would mean that in 7 seasons in South Bend Brian Kelly has lost FOUR or more games in…

5 of his 7 seasons coaching the Irish

….and if losing FOUR or more games a season on a regular basis is Okey-Dokey with fans of Notre Dame football….who are we to argue with Complete Morons and Losers?

Oh…how many times did the below Notre Dame head coaches lose FOUR or more games in a season?

Knute Rockne: ONE in 13 seasons

Frank Leahy: ONE in 11 seasons

Ara Parseghian: ZERO in 11 seasons

Dan Devine: ONE in 6 seasons

Lou Holtz: THREE in 11 seasons


Brian Kelly: FIVE in 7 seasons

Fighting Irish under Brian Kelly?

Try Losing A Helluva Lot of Games Irish under Brian Kelly!


7.  Tommy Tuberville, Cincinnati – After UCF beat Cincinnati on Saturday a Coaches Hot Seat members says…

“Guess the semi-retirement that Tubs is in right now at Cincinnati is about to come to an end…Hell, maybe Tubs can go back into the chicken restaurant business!”

Sorry…but in 2016 Cincinnati has FOUR wins over…

UT Martin
Miami, Ohio
East Carolina

….which means Cincinnati has beaten NO ONE in 2016 and the Bearcats still have to play games against…

At Tulsa

Got 4 – 8 for Tommy Tuberville in his FOURTH year at Cincinnati?

Yep Tubs….it looks like your Semi-Retirement is over Son and you will have to go back to work for a living probably as a TV color analyst for college football games which is not that bad of a job since Tubs would probably move to lake somewhere with a decent-sized airport nearby with Tubs fishing when he wasn’t flying to and from his latest TV color analyst gig!

Cheer up Tubs…your Semi-Retirement at Cincinnati is coming to an end and you will get paid good money to hardly do any Damn work at all!


8.  Bret Bielema, Arkansas – Fans of Arkansas Football let the next win/loss record sink in for a minute or two….

Bret Bielema’s win/loss record in SEC Conference play:  9 – 21

Yes….that is correct…in FOUR seasons at the head coach at Arkansas Bret Bielema has won..

9 SEC Conference Games!

Relax Razorback fans….put down your musket….let’s not do something rash like drive up to Fayetteville and tell Bret Bielema that he better start winning some SEC Conference games or you might go Jed Clampett on his ass or something….after all…Arkansas still has 2 SEC Conference games to play against…

At Mississippi State
At Missouri

…left on the schedule and the Razorbacks should win those 2 games…right?


Oh…if Arkansas should lose their last 2 games and finish at 6 – 6 on the season we have some news for Bret Bielema and his enabling AD Jeff Long who seems to love AVERAGE AS HELL…going into the 2017 college football season…

Bret Bielema will be sitting on the #1 Hot Seat in College Football!

Oh…just by comparison below are the win/loss records of the last few head coaches at Arkansas that Bielema should be compared to….

Bobby Petrino (2008 – 2011): 34 – 17 (.666) = .666 for Bobby makes sense!

Houston Nutt (1998 – 2007): 75 – 48 (.610)

Ken Hatfield (1984 – 1989): 55 – 17 – 1 (.760)

Lou Holtz (1977 – 1983): 60 – 21 – 2 (.735)

Frank Broyles (1958 – 1976) 144 – 58 – 5 (.708)


Bret Bielema (2013 – 2016): 24 – 24 (.500)

Yep…if you like AVERAGE AS HELL as fan of Arkansas Football you have should Happy As Hell right now!


9.  Charlie Strong, Texas – Tell us where to send a reference letter for Charlie Strong and we will have it typed up and faxed-over in an hour because there is not a better man coaching college football today BUT the reality is Charlie’s win/loss records at Texas…

Overall:  16 – 19

Big 12:  12 – 13

….which are AVERAGE at best and really look bad when one considers that in Mack Brown’s last THREE years at Texas when folks like us here at Coaches Hot Seat were all over Mack’s ass Coach Brown posted records of…

2011:  8 – 4
2012:  9 – 4
2013:  8 – 5


So…in Mack Brown’s last THREE years at Texas he posted a winning percentage of…


…and in THREE years at Texas Charlie Strong has posted a winning percentage of…


Sorry…but this is TEXAS which has everything a coach could ask for and with only…

At Kansas

..left on the schedule the question really is…

“Will one game…such as a win over TCU to end the season..make anyone at Texas feel better about 2017?”

If the answer to the above question is YES and Texas does beat Kansas and TCU to get to 7 wins then keep Charlie Strong around BUT if no one at Texas can see the Longhorns competing for a Big 12 Conference and National Title in 2017 which Texas SHOULD be competing for in a coach’s FOURTH season at the school then Charlie Strong must go.


10.  Todd Graham, Arizona State – In case you weren’t keeping up that is now…

FOUR Straight Losses

…for Arizona State after their loss to Utah on Thursday and that leaves the Sun Devils record at….

5 – 5

…on the season in Todd Graham’s FIFTH year at the school which makes us wonder….

Just what in the Hell is Todd Graham doing at Arizona State anyway?

Oh…the Sun Devils still have to play…

At Washington
At Arizona

….to finish the season so they should get one more win over the Total Disaster that is Arizona and get bowl eligible but is winning…

6 Games

….what the fans of Arizona State football expected in Todd Graham’s FIFTH year coaching in Tempe?

Here’s a thought…maybe Todd Graham needs to hire a dozen or so Arizona State students to just focus on stealing signs of the opposing team in the next two games against Washington and Arizona and maybe that will turn things around for the Sun Devils!

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