Keep Giving These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Mr. Cash!
Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
21. David Shaw, Stanford – As a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members sat in Stanford Stadium on Saturday night watching Stanford whip Hapless and it seemed almost Coachless UCF an interesting observation was made by one CHS member:
“Is it just me or do the Stanford football players seem to going back to the size physically they were (which was puny) when Walt Harris was run off The Farm and replaced with Jim Harbaugh in 2007?”
This idea that the Stanford football players are getting increasingly smaller under head coach David Shaw compared to the size they were under Jim Harbaugh and in the first couple of years of the Shaw reign has been a topic of hushed discussion for over a year now among a small group of Coaches Hot Seat members which blew-up into a wide ranging discussion on Saturday night with lots of comments thrown in from the peanut gallery like…..
“How small the Stanford football players seemed at fan day in August. Hell, my boy in the ninth grade was bigger than half the Stanford team!”
“How it seems the Stanford football players are losing rather than gaining weight year-over year under David Shaw.”
“Doesn’t it seem like the Stanford football players are less cut, less in shape looking and overall not in the condition they were in during the Jim Harbaugh years?”
What was the final conclusion to this discussion you ask among the participating Coaches Hot Seat members which included a couple of CHS Members chiming-in from their hotel room in Knoxville, Tennessee?
Stanford football IS GETTING SMALLER and LESS PHYSICAL overall under David Shaw and all it takes for one to understand this FACT is for anyone to watch a tape of the Northwestern game from this season to see a smaller team in Northwestern push Stanford around all over the field on the way to a 16 – 6 win over the Cardinal.
Of course, the proof is ALWAYS in the pudding as someone once said and this week Stanford plays at USC which has ALWAYS had larger and stronger players across the board than Stanford but for a few seasons during the Jim Harbaugh years there was a time when USC was flat-out…
Intimidated by Stanford Football
….which culminated in 2009 Stanford – USC game at the LA Coliseum when the Cardinal led Jim Harbaugh team CRUSHED the Trojans by the score of…
55 – 21!
Unfortunately USC has won the last two games in the Stanford – USC series and it will be fascinating to see what the Trojans are able to do with Stanford at the LA Coliseum on Saturday in Steve Sarkisian’s second year as the head coach at USC after narrowly beating the Cardinal 13 – 10 last season on The Farm.
Will Stanford get pushed around by a team in USC that has five to six times as much talent as Northwestern which thoroughly dominated Stanford in the first game of the season or is there something…..anything….that David Shaw can do to get the Cardinal offense on track before the Pac-12 schedule really cranks up with several teams on the schedule that can easily score 30 or more points a game which would leave the pitiful Stanford offense in the dust?
We shall all see on Saturday night with a decent amount of Coaches Hot Seat members traveling to Los Angeles for the Stanford – USC game at one of our favorite venues to watch football games the LA Coliseum which a few Coaches Hot Seat members have been watching football games at for almost 40 years now. Needless to say with the remaining games on Stanford’s schedule as listed below…
At USC
At Oregon State
Arizona
UCLA
Washington
At Washington State
At Colorado
Oregon
California
Notre Dame
….there is a REAL chance that Stanford does NOT win 6 games in 2015 if they play like they did against Northwestern and of course if Stanford doesn’t win 6 games in 2015 Stanford WILL be looking for a new head football coach come December for Damn sure!
22. Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson is now in his fourth season coaching the Tulane Green Wave and has posted win/loss records of…
Overall: 12 – 27
CUSA: 9 – 15
….with ONE winning season and bowl game in the books in his first three seasons.
Is Tulane the kind of place that should expect to be playing .500 or better football on a regular basis?
We sure the Hell don’t know why not and after Tulane started the 2015 season with losses to Duke and Georgia Tech the Green Wave has these games left on the schedule:
Maine
UCF
At Temple
Houston
At Navy
At Memphis
UConn
At Army
At SMU
Tulsa
Hmmm…..with the above games remaining is there anyone that believes Tulane will win at least 6 games in 2015?
Didn’t think so which takes us to…
Coach up your team Curtis Johnson or the Hot Seat will just get HOTTER!
23. Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech – What a PERFECT opportunity Saturday is for…
Pretty Boy Kingsbury
….to both get Coaches Hot Seat off his back, have us drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER, and get a win for Texas Tech football when the Red Raiders travel to Fayetteville on Saturday to play an Arkansas team that is coming off a loss to Toledo and is according to our buddies in Ft. Smith, Arkansas…
In Total and Complete Disarray Right Now
….with people in Fayetteville pointing fingers at who was responsible for the Toledo loss and therein lies the…
PERFECT opportunity for Pretty Boy Kingsbury and his Red Raiders!
Can Texas Tech really go into Fayetteville and beat an Arkansas team coached by someone (Bret “Ohio State LOVES THEIR CUPCAKES” Bielema) who it seems is more interested in who Ohio State is playing each week (Northern Illinois) than in getting his team ready to play football games?
YES is that answer to that question and a loss in this spot for Bret Bielema to Texas Tech would not only get Pretty Boy Kingsbury OFF the Hot Seat it would send Bret “Anyone seen Urban Meyer eating CUPCAKES today” Bielema into a close orbit around the Sun for the foreseeable future with the SEC Conference schedule still ahead!
Memo to Pretty Boy Kingsbury: If you score 35 points in this game you will beat Arkansas and YES if you beat Arkansas on Saturday we will drop the Pretty Boy Kingsbury moniker FOREVER! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat
Good Luck Pretty Boy!
24. Les Miles, LSU – With wins over Mississippi State AND Auburn Les Miles has an opportunity to go from the frying pan to the catbird seat if LSU can get a win over a Totally Hapless Auburn team in Baton Rouge on Saturday and consider this for a moment that IF LSU can beat Auburn the Tigers will then have the below games left on their schedule before they play at Alabama on November 7:
At Syracuse
Eastern Michigan
At South Carolina
Florida
Western Kentucky
Hell, if LSU can beat Mississippi State and Auburn we see no reason why LSU can’t roll through their next FIVE games and show up in Tuscaloosa on November 7 at….
7 – 0
….to play the Crimson Tide BUT hold it just a second…after Alabama the Tigers still have to play…
Arkansas
At Ole Miss
Texas A&M
….so even if LSU was 7 – 0 on November 7 Les Miles could still lose his last 4 games and end the 2015 season at…
7 – 4
….and rightfully get his ass run out of Baton Rouge come December!
Up first though before Les Miles possibly gets his ass run out of Baton Rouge in December is the Auburn Tigers in Tiger Stadium and don’t tell anyone Les because what we are about to tell you is just between you Les and us here at Coaches Hot Seat:
Coaches Hot Seat whispering through the computer to Les Miles: “Our contact at Auburn tells us the Auburn coaching staff is in full-on panic mode right now because they know and Gus Malzahn knows that if Auburn loses to LSU on Saturday and Malzahn drops to 10 – 7 in his last 17 games that Malzahn’s ass will be on fire and on the Hot Seat!”
Good Luck Mad Hatter and OH…if you lose to Auburn at home in Tiger Stadium when Auburn is in “full-on panic mode” your precious ass will be climbing back up the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!
25. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over Liberty University which is where that Total Nutcake Bernie Sanders was speaking on Monday but we will say about Bernie Sanders that even though he is a Total Nutcake at least he is a Total Nutcake with personal principles that he sticks to whether you disagree with him or not!
Getting back to Dana Holgorsen and West Virginia Crazy Boy Holgorsen has a chance to get his ass off the Hot Seat next week with a win against Maryland at home on September 26 which would be nice since WVU travels to play at Oklahoma in their fourth game of the season after the Terps come to Morgantown.
For now though with West Virginia having an off-week Crazy Boy Dana Holgorsen remains on the Hot Seat right where Crazy Boy belongs!
26. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa – Kirk Ferentz and Iowa got a nice win at Iowa State on Saturday but then…
Iowa State has LOST 21 of their last 26 games
…so beating Iowa State is akin to beating a Ladies Senior Citizen Bridge Club’s auxiliary football team that meets on every Tuesday night in a suburb of Des Moines, Iowa so we hope that fans of Iowa football aren’t getting too confident after a win over the Cyclones especially with Pitt coming to town on Saturday.
We will tell everyone why a loss to Pitt on Saturday would be especially devastating to Kirk Ferentz and Iowa:
Pat Narduzzi is in his first year as a head coach at Pitt or as a head coach anywhere and if Pat Narduzzi can in his third game as a head coach roll into Iowa and beat the Hawkeyes on the road where exactly does that leave Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz?
Right in the septic tank on the farm is where that leaves Iowa football under Kirk Ferentz!
27. Mike Riley, Nebraska – Several Coaches Hot Seat members have been traveling to the Great State of Nebraska for over two decades on business and thus we have had a long love affair going with Nebraska and the Good People of that state and even when we put Mike Riley on the Hot Seat we have done so reluctantly since Mike Riley is a lot like the Good People of Nebraska in that Riley is almost…
Impossible NOT to like
….but this is Coaches Hot Seat and when you are the head coach at Nebraska you have to win “X” number of games to stay OFF the Hot Seat and thus why this Saturday’s game at Miami is so Damn important for Mike Riley and Nebraska football as they head towards Big Ten Conference play.
Of course, this Nebraska – Miami game is also very important for Hurricanes head coach Al Golden and thus we have set-up here in South Florida a..
Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaching Match-Up
….with the winning coach getting his ass off the Hot Seat for now and the losing coaching getting the heat turned up on his ass Come Monday….
….and no doubt many times in the future during the rest of this college football season as well.
Good Luck to Mike Riley and Al Golden in this Hot Seat vs. Hot Seat Coaches game!
28. Mike MacIntyre, Colorado – Mike MacIntyre and Colorado got a nice win over UMass at home in Boulder on Saturday and now the Buffs face a CRITICAL game against Colorado State on Saturday which is a match-up that Colorado MUST WIN with the Pac-12 conference schedule looming over their shoulders and with the first Pac-12 game against Oregon in Boulder on October 3.
Can Colorado beat Colorado State on Saturday to get Mike MacIntyre off to a 2 – 1 start with Nicholls State up next which should be 3 – 1 before the Buffs start Pac-12 play against Oregon on October 3?
We don’t see why the Hell not!
29. Larry Fedora, North Carolina – Larry Fedora and North Carolina got a win over CUPCAKE North Carolina A&T on Saturday and now getting back to Big Boy College Football UNC will host Illinois on Saturday in Chapel Hill which is being coached by interim head coach Bill Cubit.
Yep…North Carolina CANNOT lose to this Illinois team that was in Complete and Total Disarray just a few weeks ago because a loss in this spot to drop to 1 – 2 with the below schedule still looming…
Delaware
At Georgia Tech
Wake Forest
Virginia
At Pitt
Duke
Miami
At Virginia Tech
NC State
…would put both Fedora and the Tar Heels in a precarious position as ACC Conference play gets underway on October 3 with a game at Georgia Tech.
Memo to SPF which is short for Six Pack Fedora here at Coaches Hot Seat: DO NOT LOSE TO Illinois! Signed: Coaches Hot Seat
30. Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech – Frank Beamer and the Hokies loaded-up on a CUPCAKE this past Saturday with a win over Furman and now it is back to reality for Virginia Tech with a game at Purdue in Week 3 in what is for Damn sure…
A MUST WIN Game for Frank Beamer and Virginia Tech
….because a loss in this spot to a Purdue football team that has won FIVE total football games the past three seasons would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and fully reveal the current….
Hapless State of Virginia Tech Football
….which in what may be Frank Beamer’s last season in Blacksburg is certainly something that Coach Beamer does not want to be fully revealed for all the world to see.
With a game at East Carolina in Week 4 a loss to Purdue might just lead to the Hokies starting the 2015 season at…
1 – 3
….and fighting for their lives just to get to a pitiful bowl game and is a mediocre season and pitiful bowl game really how Frank Beamer wants to go out at Virginia Tech after a legendary coaching career?
NO is the answer to that question and thus YES Virginia Tech had better Damn beat Purdue!