It was ten years ago this week that Coaches Hot Seat first went live on the Internet in January 2007, and it has been a Helluva lot of fun following the great game of college football and Coaches on the Hot Seat over the last decade. After much discussion over the past month or so on the future of CHS and considering a few offers from folks to buy the Coaches Hot Seat website we the members of CHS have decided like Americans have always done and…
Press On Forward Into the Future Out That Way —–>
…and who knows maybe do another ten years of having way Damn too much fun lighting up the asses of college football head coaches from coast to coast across the Great American Republic!
With the above in mind we have a few members of Coaches Hot Seat that are putting together a new sports-related Internet venture that they will tell the world about soon enough, but with that move it means the CHS bench needs to be re-filled and just like Don Shula calling on Johnny Unitas to spark the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III we have asked the person that…
Thought Up, Conceived Totally, Bought the Domain Name, and Pushed Many Folks to do Coaches Hot Seat in the Fall of 2006
….and then did 99% of the writing for CHS from 2007 to 2012 or so to return to the playing field, and after much prodding and the promise of unlimited cold New Belgium beer he has decided to accept our challenge beginning with the…
Post 2016 – 2017 CFB Season Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
….and everything written after this….
Hot Damn It Feels Good To Have the Veteran Back in the Saddle!
…is his with total control AGAIN of Coaches Hot Seat
The Disaster That Is The College Football Playoff
It would not be easy to find anyone that could mess up matching the best teams in FBS College Football to play in a postseason college football playoff, but that’s just what the Pooh-Bah Commissioners and their Chief Lackey Bill Hancock of paper-shuffling fame who “runs” the College Football Playoff have done by making a series of Totally Damn Absurd moves that unbelievably have undermined the college football postseason mainly because most everyone in the “leadership” of CFB has their lips firmly planted on the asses of the bowl game executives!
It took Bill Hancock and his handlers otherwise known as the conference commissioners to realize that playing the National Semi-Final Games on New Year’s Eve which is a work day for the vast majority of Americans that have Real Jobs….meaning not Bill Hancock and the Conference Commissioners that wouldn’t known an honest day’s work if it hit them in their asses….but then Hancock and his Handlers don’t seem to be able to get it through their thick and bowl executive ass kissing heads that…
College Football Is Played on Saturdays!
Let’s repeat that for those slow on the uptake > Bill Hancock and his Handlers who spend most of each calendar year kissing the Precious Asses of Bowl Game Executives!
College Football Is Played on Saturdays!
OK…anyone with a working brain knows that it’s beyond absurd for FBS College Football to not like EVERY OTHER LEVEL of football in America to have a Real Postseason Playoff which would certainly involve the Conference Champions of the Five Power Conferences and the Next Three Best Teams in as Wild Cards…notice no automatic spot for the best Group of Five Team since we are talking about the Next Three Best Teams in FBS…..that would then play a…
Three Round College Football 8-Team Postseason Playoff
…that would have ALL the games being played on….wait for it for those slow on the uptake = Bill Hancock and the Morons running the Conferences = the Conference Commissioners…
ALL the Playoff Games being played on….Saturdays!
How exactly would have worked in 2016 – 2017 you ask?
Simple….Oh So Damn Simple!
The 8-Team College Football Playoff after the 2016 FBS Regular Season would have been made up the following teams…
…and the 8 above teams would have played the below First Round Games On Campus on SATURDAY December 17:
Oklahoma at Alabama
Michigan at Clemson
USC at Ohio State
Penn State at Washington
Yes…FOUR First Round Games in the College Football Playoff would have been played on a SATURDAY on College Campuses at the home field of the higher seed and would have looked like….
Oklahoma at Alabama
Michigan at Clemson
USC at Ohio State
Penn State at Washington
Of course, if you don’t have the Damn Common Sense to play ALL the College Football Playoff Games on Saturdays you for Damn sure don’t have the Damn Common Sense to implement the above, but then these Morons = Bill Hancock and the Conference Commissioners that wouldn’t know an honest day’s work if it hit them in their asses….could easily make sure that the THREE games that are now part or the 4-Team College Football Playoff are played on SATURDAYS and certainly not have the crowing game of the FBS College Football Season on a Monday Night…A School Night…being played late into the night and ending after Midnight = Just Damn Idiocy!
OK…the 8-Team College Football Playoff would be the same way that EVERY OTHER LEVEL of football in America from Pee Wee to the NFL decides their champion…
On the Field of Play
…but let’s just stick to the current hokum system with a 4-Team Playoff and see how ALL of those games could have been played on a SATURDAY this year and in future years as well.
In an 8-Team College Football Playoff in 2016 – 2017 the First Round Games would have been played on-campus on SATURDAY December 17 and the Semi-Final Games would have been played just as they were this year on…
SATURDAY December 31
….and the National Championship Game would and should have been played one…
SATURDAY January 7
Oh…you say that the NFL played two Wild Card games on Saturday January 7? Yes, you would be right about that, but this is where…
Vision and Old-Fashioned Simple Common Sense
….comes into play because College Football and the NFL have an amazing opportunity to work together….we here at Coaches Hot Seat would say have an OBLIGATION to work together since FBS football is a FREE minor league system for the NFL that would cost Hundreds of Millions of Dollars a year to replace if it went away…and with that in mind the Clueless Damn Grand-Pooh-Bahs of college football should sit down with NFL executives and figure out a way that the following games could be played each year on the NFL’s current Wild Card Saturday:
Wild Card Game #1 – 10:00 AM EST
CFB National Title Game – 2:30 PM EST or just after Wild Card Game #1 ends
Wild Card Game #2 – 7:15 PM EST or just after CFB National Title Game ends
Call it….Football Day in America…with the networks working together to send the audience from Wild Card Game #1 when it was over to the CFB National Title Game and then that network then sending folks to the Wild Card Game #2!
Talk about one of the great sporting events on the calendar each year in America…
Wild Card Saturday and CFB National Championship Game
….would be an amazing SATURDAY of football that would put the game of football front-and-center for all to see but then the above would take something that college football is totally lacking right now since ALL of that leadership in CFB spends all their Damn time kissing the asses of the bowl game executives!
The above…the Football Day in America…of two NFL Wild Card Games with the CFB National Title Game sandwiched in between could easily happen…if someone would actually get off their lazy Damn asses and do some Damn work!
After all….College Football is played on SATURDAYS!
2016 – 2017 Final Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
It’s Good To See You Again Old Friend…Mr. Johnny Cash…It’s Been Too Long But Then Can You Do That Song I Loved So…You Know The One We Included in the First Coaches Hot Seat Rankings in August 2007….Yep…That’s the One Mr. Cash…Give ‘Em Hell Johnny!
1. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – There are two rankings that interest us here at Coaches Hot Seat about Brian Kelly’s tenure at Notre Dame. One of those rankings is historical in that in Brian Kelly’s seven seasons at Notre Dame the Non-Fighting Irish have finished unranked at the end of the season….
Four of Kelly’s Seven Seasons!
Let’s write that here again….in Four of Brian Kelly’s Seven Seasons at Notre Dame the Non-Fighting Irish have finished….wait for it…UNRANKED!
When you are talking about Notre Dame where almost any bum could fall off the Chicago Limited train from New York City to Chicago as it was passing north of South Bend, Indiana and then coach Notre Dame to a ranked season EVERY season as a the head coach of the Non-Fighting Irish but Brian Kelly has NOT done that….
57% of the time!
The second ranking that interests us here at Coaches Hot Seat is that heading into Brian Kelly’s eighth season at Notre Dame the Non-Fighting Irish now have the….
16 th best recruiting class in the country
What the Hell? Brian Kelly’s EIGHTH recruiting class at Notre Dame is ranked…
16 th in the country?
Hell….the same bum that fell off the Chicago Limited train just north of South Bend could EVERY YEAR have the Notre Dame recruiting class ranked in the Top 10 and yet….16 th Brian Kelly…really Son?
Just what in the Hell is going on at Notre Dame was the question we asked to a prominent Irish alum friend of ours recently and his response was classic:
“Have you seen…and I mean really watched Notre Dame play in recent years? Even when they are winning some games the effort is inconsistent, the play is sometimes great and sometimes mediocre…and sometimes awful…but in 2016 it was just generally mediocre and/or awful.”
Absolutely True and if not for Notre Dame having a ton of money in the bank and plenty of money coming in Brian Kelly who has over the last four seasons lost…
….would have already been fired after posting a 4 – 8 record in 2016 but then when you have a Notre Dame alum + fan base that are willing to tolerate “mediocrity and awful” why spend $20 Million Dollars to buyout an average football coach when you can get away with letting him hang around for another year?
There it is….the problem with Notre Dame Football….Notre Dame is OK with being “mediocre and awful” or rather straight to the point…the folks at Notre Dame are just happy as Hell with being….
Anything less than 9 wins in 2017 and Brian Kelly is DONE at Notre Dame….in our always humble opinion.
2. Todd Graham, Arizona State – Maybe it’s just us…but if you have the signs of all the opposing teams shouldn’t your defense be giving up less than…
39.8 points per game?
Yep….Arizona State led by Good Ole Todd “I have your offensive signs” Graham has a defense that was ranked…
124 out of 128 teams in 2016
…and gave up that just amazing…
39.8 points per game!
Memo to Todd Graham: Son…maybe in 2017 don’t worry so much about stealing the opposing teams signs and maybe….
Coach Your Damn Football Team Up Son!
Over the last two seasons at Arizona State Todd Graham has posted records of…
Overall: 11 – 14
Pac-12: 6 – 12
….and look at the below headline from the 2015 season…
“Do we steal signals? Yeah, we do,” Graham said on the Pac-12 coaches’ conference call. “Do people steal our signals? Yeah they do. Do you see our signs and all the things we do? It’s our responsibility to make sure our signals are safe. There’s nothing illegal about (stealing signs).”
Hmmm….coach is focused on stealing signs instead of coaching his own Damn football team and has posted records since admitting to being focused on stealing signs of…
Overall: 11 – 14
Pac-12: 6 – 12
…and one would have to think that in 2017 Todd Graham won’t be worried about the other teams’ signs but instead will be….
Coaching His Damn Football Team Up…and Oh Yea…maybe tackling someone on the opposing team also wouldn’t hurt either Todd…Son!
3. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – Kevin Sumlin has coached the Texas A&M Aggies for FIVE seasons now and has posted a record in SEC Conference play of…
21 – 19
…and over the last FOUR seasons has posted a record in SEC Conference play of…
15 – 17
…and yet Sumlin is getting paid $5 million-plus dollars a year and has a buyout today in the neighborhood of $15 million dollars!
15 – 17 record in SEC Conference play last FOUR seasons….$5 million dollars a year…$15 million dollar buyout…anyone got:
Texas A&M Aggies Are Dumb As Hell?
4. Jim Mora, UCLA – Many moons ago meaning like 20+ years ago a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were having dinner with a well-known corporate executive who today is worth in excess of $1 billion dollars and he said something very interesting to us about compensating employees:
“I never want someone to be making so much money that they can just say the Hell with it because I still owe them a ton of money on their contract.”
Of course, there are dozens of FBS college head football coaches that if fired today wouldn’t have to work another day of their lives forget about putting in 80-plus hours a week which brings us to Jim Mora who is making a TON of money at UCLA and in his FIFTH season on the job posted records in 2016 of…
Overall: 4 – 8
Pac-12: 2 – 7
What was it that Bill Dooley who was the head football coach at North Carolina, Virginia Tech and Wake Forest and brother of the Great Vince Dooley said about being a college head coach? Oh…here it is…
“You have to resist the temptation to let up…you just can never let up.”
In our opinion….Jim Mora let-up…just a little…and also made a number of mistakes in how he handled his players and coaches at UCLA and who went from winning 29 games in his first three seasons at UCLA to winning 12 games the last two seasons and now finds himself on the one of the Hottest Seats in FBS football.
What does 2017 hold for Jim Mora and the UCLA Bruins?
Well…UCLA opens with…
…in 2017 and if the Bruins play like they did at the tail-end of this past season to open up next season they might very well be 0 – 3 on the evening of Saturday September 16!
5. Paul Haynes, Kent State – In FOUR seasons as the head coach at Kent State Paul Haynes has posted records of…
4 – 8
2 – 9
3 – 9
3 – 9
….and amazingly as we sit here in early January 2017 he is still the head football coach at Kent State!
Isn’t America a wonderful country? You can be Below Average As Hell and keep your job….if you work in FBS College Football!
6. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – We are not saying that Bret Bielema in the middle of a Total Disaster of season that was the Arkansas Razorbacks in 2016 that finished at…
Overall: 7 – 6
SEC: 3 – 5
…that also finished with a Total Meltdown against Virginia Tech in the bowl game that Bielema sometime during last season said something to the effect of…
“I better Damn get these Arkansas fans minds off what a pitiful Damn job I am doing and onto something else.”
…and then suddenly Bielema’s wife is pregnant and is due around the beginning of next season which would gain Bielema lots of good karma from pissed-off Arkansas football fans….but now….that is exactly what happened now isn’t it?
OK…forget about the baby which we wish the Bielemas great luck with…the bottom-line or rather the facts are that in FOUR seasons at Arkansas Bret Bielema has posted records of…
Overall: 25 – 26
SEC: 10 – 22
…and if that is OK with the fans of Arkansas Football then we have to ask…
What in the Hell is wrong with the fans of Arkansas Football?
We again called our old Arkansas alum buddy who lives in beautiful Ft. Smith, Arkansas last week to get his opinion on Bret Bielema and his response was….
“Baby or no baby if Chubby Boy doesn’t have a winning record in SEC Conference play in 2017 his ass will be gone from Fayetteville faster than you can spell Pampers!”
OK….let’s look at the Arkansas 2017 SEC Conference Schedule:
At South Carolina
At Ole Miss
Oh….that would be P – A – M – P – E – R – S!
7. Hugh Freeze, Ole Miss – As many folks in Mississippi tend to be literary in nature a good Mississippi buddy of ours that we first met fishing in Alabama over a decade ago now said to us recently about the current state of Ole Miss football….
“Hugh Freeze lost the plot….he just lost the plot.”
What does “losing the plot” mean exactly?
Yep…that’s right…Hugh Freeze just Lost the Freaking Plot at Ole Miss mainly because he let the worry about an NCAA investigation corrode his football program from the inside-out and now either Freeze will find the plot or his FBS head coaching career could come to crashing end in Oxford before next Christmas!
Let’s look at the Ole Miss 2017 schedule:
At Mississippi State
Hmmmmm…that looks like a 6 or 7 win season for Ole Miss in 2017…at best…and if the Rebels only win 6 games in 2017 that includes another loss to Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl the plot loser Hugh Freeze will be looking for a job come early December 2017!
8. Mark Whipple, UMass – Mark Whipple returned to UMass to coach the football team in 2014 after coaching the team from 1998 to 2003 when they were playing on the FCS level and a member of the Atlantic 10 Conference and in three seasons back Whipple has posted an overall record of…
8 – 28
Sorry….but even at UMass 8 – 28 is Just Damn Pitiful and if UMass gave a Damn about their football program they would have fired Whipple and hired someone…anyone…to get the Minutemen moving in the right direction again….and yet Whipple is still there.
Yes…UMass is a tough job…but 8 – 28 is Just Damn Pitiful and in our opinion UMass can play better football than that….Period!
9. Lance Leipold, Buffalo – Clearly Lance Leipold can coach the game of football on the…
Division III level
….winning SIX National Championships in EIGHT seasons as the head coach at Wisconsin-Whitewater but can Lance Leipold coach on the FBS level in the MAC Conference?
Not yet at least in TWO years at Buffalo posting records of…
Overall: 7 – 17
MAC: 4 – 12
….and needing a .500 plus season in 2017 to probably hang onto his job come December.
10. David Beaty, Kansas – We haven’t a clue what Kansas football is doing right now with David Beaty as its head coach who in TWO seasons on the job has posted records of…
Overall: 2 – 22
Big 12: 1 – 17
….which is a program in Kansas Football that played in the Orange Bowl in the 2007 – 2008 season!
Call us crazy but if we had been the AD at Kansas in December of last year we would have fired David Beaty and hired current Tulsa head coach Philip Montgomery who has the kind of offense that Kansas MUST have….an up-tempo attacking offense…if the Jayhawks are going to become a winning football program again but then….Kansas has an AD that hired…
…who together have posted an overall record…with interim head coach Clint Bowen included…over the last FIVE years of…
9 – 51
Geez….don’t tell us there aren’t Total Damn Morons in the very upper reaches of FBS football because the TRUTH is….THERE ARE MANY!
Great Luck to you David Beaty!