Coaches Hot Seat was first dreamed up in October 2006 as a way to help force out then Stanford head football coach Walt Harris among a group of close friends who were having drinks at the Balboa Café in the Marina District of San Francisco, and here we are in September 2017 with Coaches Hot Seat now entering its 11 th college football season…a second decade now begins…with that same group of close friends tossing out their opinions from the peanut gallery about the relative status of college football head coaches job status vis-à-vis the warmth of their asses!
Coaches Hot Seat has been great fun from the start and has grown from a few close friends to over 170 members of Coaches Hot Seat now that mainly are members it seems to attend the annual Coaches Hot Seat Summer Clambake at Lake Tahoe each August where we have one Helluva great time talking football and the upcoming college football season and CHS members also help to shape the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings each week.
With that in mind let’s get to the business at hand which is the….
2017 Post Week One Coaches Hot Seat Rankings
…which means let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give the coaches on the Hot Seat a wake-up call!
Thank You Mr. Cash and away we go on the 11 th season of Coaches Hot Seat
1. Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M – If you thought watching the Total Meltdown of Kevin Sumlin and the Texas A&M coaching staff in the Rose Bowl on Sunday night was nothing short of a Total Disaster then watching a replay of the game only makes things worse because one could take a look at each play and see mistake….after mistake….after mistake…after mistake by Sumlin and the Aggies Coaches that flat-out….
Robbed the A&M players of what should have been a win over UCLA!
It’s easy to look at the second-half of the A&M – UCLA game and point to many Beyond Stupid mistakes made by Kevin Sumlin and the A&M coaching staff, but the Idiocy actually began in the first quarter with the Aggies up 7 – 3 and the Bruins fumbling the ball and an A&M player returning it to the 3 yard line which was followed by A&M OC Noel Mazzone calling the following plays:
Fade to Left-Side of the End Zone
Fade to Right-Side of the End Zone
2 Yard Run to 1 Yard Line
Followed by a field goal putting the Aggies up 10 – 3 over UCLA.
Why didn’t Aggies OC Noel Mazzone just run the Damn ball right down the Bruins throat from the 3 yard line you ask when A&M was gashing the Bruins for over 7 yards a carry in the game?
Damn Good Question but this is just the beginning of the Damn Idiocy that was capped off in the second-half by what we hear at Coaches Hot Seat believe to be…
A Series of the Stupidest Coaching Decisions in the History of College Football in America
…which at Texas A&M dates back to 1894!
By now everyone that follows college football closely must know that Texas A&M went up by the score of….
Aggies – 44
Bruins – 10
…after a field goal with 4:08 left in the 3 rd quarter of the game. At this point there should have been NO CHANCE IN HELL of UCLA winning this football game unless Kevin Sumlin and the A&M coaches committed a series of blunders that would make the Stupidest Human Beings on the Earth look like Mensa members and guess what….that is exactly what happened!
Following the Aggies field goal to pt them up 44 – 10 over UCLA the Bruins then scored in 2 minutes to make the score 44 – 17 with 2:06 left in the 3 rd Quarter and this is what Kevin Sumlin and his offensive coaches did the rest of the game leading to one of the great meltdowns in college football history:
Aggies Remaining Offensive Plays in the Game after up 44 – 17:
1. Run for no gain
2. Run for 6 yards
3. Incomplete Pass
UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 24
5. Run for 1 yard
6. Incomplete Pas
7. Run for 14 yards
8. Run for 3 yards
9. Run for 8 yards
10. Complete Pass
11. Sack loss of 10 yards
12. Run for 1 yard
UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 31
14. Pass Complete
15. Run for 6 yards
16. Incomplete Pass
17. Run for 12 yards
18. Run for 7 yards
19. Run for loss 1 yard
With ball on 16 yard line and a made field goal making the score 47 – 31 or a two TD and two 2-point conversion game Aggies OC Noel Mazzone calls a pass play and….
20. Sack for loss of 9 yards
…which leads to a 43 yard field goal miss by the Aggies kicker instead of what should have been at most a 32 yard field goal if not shorter if Noel Mazzone had just RUN THE DAMN BALL on third down!
UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 38
21. Run for 2 yards
22. Incomplete Pass
23. Sack for loss of 5 yards
UCLA Touchdown and score is A&M 44 – UCLA 45
The four plays in the last A&M series when the Aggies failed to get a first down are not that important because it was desperation time, but look the other plays above and see the Total Damn Idiocy especially when one realizes that at halftime A&M was averaging over….
6 Yards-Plus Per Run
….and in the second-half when the Aggies could have Stuff the Ball down the Bruins throats with their run game they not only called way Damn too many pass plays they also at the most critical time of the game when a made field goal would have at worst gotten the Aggies into overtime against UCLA a pass play was called with a true freshman QB on the field who not surprisingly took a big loss on a sack which led to a critical missed field goal and in our opinion….
This was level of Stupid Coaching that has not been seen in FBS Football since Charlie Weis was the head coach at Notre Dame!
In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat Kevin Sumlin did nothing less than GUT his own players by allowing his coaches to make one Stupid Damn Decision after another and for that he should have already been fired and the Aggies could have hired ANY high school coach on ANY level from ANYWHERE in the State of Texas and be the Aggies players would be getting better coaching today!
Let’s look at Kevin Sumlin’s records in six seasons at Texas A&M:
Overall: 44 – 22
SEC: 21 – 19
Against FBS Teams: 26 – 22
Against Group of 6 Teams: 12 – 0
Against FCS Teams: 6 – 0
Yep…take away the 18 Cupcakes that Keivn Sumlin has played and beat at A&M and we are talking about winning percentages of…
Against FBS Teams: .542
…and for the above Very Average Records Kevin Sumlin has already been paid north of….
$25 Million Dollars
….and Texas A&M still owes Sumlin over $11 Million Dollars if they fired him today!
$35+ Million Dollars for a .542 record against FBS teams and .525 record in SEC play?
What kind of Damn Idiots are running Texas A&M University exactly?
Let’s not forget something else in this spot….
Last November at Kyle Field in College Station A&M led Ole Miss by 15 points entering the 4 th quarter before losing 29 – 28 and more to the point in Texas A&M last SIX games against FBS teams Kevin Sumlin’s record is…
0 – 6!
That’s right…Texas A&M has not beaten an FBS team since last October 8 when the Aggies beat Tennessee in double-overtime in College Station!
Luckily for Kevin Sumlin he is working at place….
Texas A&M University
…that embraces and celebrates AVERAGE and thus he can get away with winning percentages like…
.542 and .525
….and A&M has Nicholls and La. Lafayette to play at home in their next two games before playing Arkansas in Dallas on September 23 but then from Arkansas on it’s….
At Ole Miss
…which to us looks like 7 or 8 wins for the Aggies in 2017 and based upon what the folks running Texas A&M have been willing to accept in the past maybe they will continue to accept…
…now tied to the Complete Damn Stupidity of the UCLA game and the beat in College Station will go on for another year!
Be Proud Aggies…YOU are Average As Hell!
2. Todd Graham, Arizona State – In the last two seasons at Arizona State Todd Graham has posted combined records of…
Overall: 11 – 14
Pac-12: 6 – 12
….and it seems clear from the noise coming out of Tempe that it’s going to probably take 8 wins plus in 2017 for Graham to be coaching the Sun Devils in 2018 and it wasn’t exactly a rousing start to this season in beating a very weak New Mexico State team 37 – 31, and if ASU plays like that the rest of the year there’s not a chance in Hell that Graham will be the head coach come December. Now at 1 – 0 on the year here is what ASU has left to play:
San Diego State
At Texas Tech
At Oregon State
Can Todd Graham find 7 wins+ out of the Sun Devils remaining 11 games?
We don’t see it which means a very good job in Arizona State could be opening up come late November.
3. Tony Sanchez, UNLV – The first time that anyone at Coaches Hot Seat ran into Tony Sanchez he was the head football coach at California High School in San Ramon, California which is in the East Bay of San Francisco and where Tony coached for five years before taking over and having a very successful run at Bishop Gorman High School in Las Vegas which led to him getting the UNLV job in 2015 which has led to the following records at UNLV after the disastrous opening season loss to the Howard University football team on Saturday night:
Overall: 7 – 18
MWC: 5 – 11
Those are not so great records for Tony Sanchez and the Rebels have left play this season….
At Ohio State
San Jose State
San Diego State
At Air Force
At Fresno State
At New Mexico
…and it’s just a guess on our part with a new AD at UNLV on the job in Desiree Reed-Francois on the job who came over from Virginia Tech Sanchez is going to need 6-plus wins in 2017 to be the head coach of the Rebels in 2018, and if Sanchez can find 6 wins out of the above 11 remaining games he should return as the head coach at UNLV and get an extension on his contract as well!
4. Mark Whipple, UMass – Since returning to coach at UMass in 2014 after an earlier stint coaching the Minutemen on the FCS level between 1998 – 2003 Mark Whipple has posted a record of…
Overall: 8 – 30
…over the last four seasons and an 0 – 2 start to 2017 with losses to Hawaii and Coastal Carolina doesn’t exactly give us confidence that Whipple will be the head coach at UMass when Santa shows up in late December!
What’s left for UMass this season:
Old Dominion – Loss
At Temple – Loss
At Tennessee – Loss
Ohio – Loss
At USF – Loss
Georgia Southern – Maybe Win
Appalachian State – Loss
At Mississippi State – Loss
Maine – Maybe Win
At BYU – Loss
That’s a 2 – 10 record at best in our minds for UMass in 2017 and more than likely a new head football coach for the Minutemen in 2018….in our humble opinion.
5. Lance Leipold, Buffalo – Buffalo looked decent against Minnesota in the opening game of the season BUT in his third year on the job coaching the Bulls head coach Lance Leipold now has records of…
Overall: 7 – 18
MAC: 4 – 12
….on the board and we rather doubt that Leipold will be able to survive another losing season….but then this is Buffalo we are talking about and maybe Leipold can survive another sub .500 record and return to coach the Bulls again in 2018 which would be fine with us here at Coaches Hot Seat since we don’t have a dog in this fight or in any fight for that matter when it comes to Buffalo!
6. Tom Herman, Texas – Earlier this year a couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were down in Austin for business plus fishing with our Texas-alum buddies and over a BBQ dinner we asked how the Tom Herman-era was going and one of those UT-alums said….
“You mean the Cult of Tom Herman?”
Coaches Hot Seat: “The Cult of Tom Herman? What the Hell does that mean?”
UT Alum: “It means that everything within the Texas Athletic Department is set-up to promote Tom Herman in the public instead of the Texas Football Team.”
Coaches Hot Seat: “That’s a change from the past?”
UT Alum: “You kidding? Mack Brown and Charlie Strong put the focus on the players….Tom Herman seems interested in only one thing…Tom Herman’s Precious Ass!”
Coaches Hot Seat: “Now that’s Damn interesting.”
UT Alum: “It is and there’s no explaining it even in Texas which is full of people with big egos….but I cannot recall running into or seeing anyone operate with a bigger ego than Tom Herman who seems to believe he invented the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars!”
Coaches Hot Seat: “It will be interesting to see how that will play out during the season.”
UT Alum: “Well right now with everything focused on kissing Tom Herman’s ass I fully expect Texas to lose the opening game to Maryland!”
Memo to Tom Herman: Get Over Yourself Son or your head coaching tenure at Texas or anywhere else will be over before it really gets going. Oh…welcome to the Hot Seat Son!
Texas has PLENTY OF TALENT to win 8 games in 2017 with the below schedule remaining….
San Jose State
At Iowa State
At West Virginia
…and if Tom Herman expects to get his ass off the Hot Seat he better Damn win 8 games-plus this season!
7. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Brian Kelly and the Irish got a nice win over a decent Temple team in Week 1 and now the 2017 season actually begins with a pretty good and very talented Georgia team coming to South Bend on Saturday evening. There’s a very good reason why Brian Kelly is on the Hot Seat and that is Kelly’s record over the past 5 seasons since Alabama BLASTED the Irish in the 2012-13 BCS National Title Game and that record is…
32 – 20 .615
…while averaging 7.75 wins per season and ANYTHING below 9 wins a season as head coach of Notre Dame your ass is AVERAGE and will place your ass on the…Yep…you got it…
We asked around with a few of our Notre Dame alum friends in the last few weeks how many wins that Brian Kelly needs to return to coach the Irish in 2018 and the consensus is…
….and we don’t think there is ANY chance of all of Notre Dame winning 10 games if the Irish lose to Georgia so Coach Hard Brian Kelly against the Dawgs!
8. Chris Ash, Rutgers – Chris Ash’s Rutgers team played better against Washington they than the team played in almost any game in 2016 and now Ash will need to keep the improvement going in a HUGE and MUST WIN GAMES against Eastern Michigan at home on Saturday and then Morgan State on September 16 which would send the Scarlet Knights to Nebraska with a 2 – 1 record which would at least give Ash’s team some momentum and maybe his ass off the Hot Seat…or maybe not!
9. Jim Mora, UCLA – We are not quite sure why the Hell the UCLA Bruins didn’t show up ready to play against Texas A&M on Sunday at the Rose Bowl but a Total Collapse by the Aggies plus a Bruins team that wouldn’t quit saved Mora from having the Hottest Seat in the America after Week 1 of the season and at least Jim Mora has that going for him!
Now at 1 – 0 on the season UCLA has left to play in 2017….
Damn…that’s a tough schedule and with Jim Mora needing at least 6 wins in 2017 to keep his job even with a MASSIVE buyout if fired it’s not going to be easy for UCLA to get to 6 wins unless they win their next 2 games to start at 3 – 0 before they head to The Farm to play Stanford on September 23.
10. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – In 5 seasons at Arkansas Bret Bielema has the following records on the board…
Overall: 26 – 26
SEC: 10 – 22
…and that is what we would call Below Average for ANY Head Football Coach at Arkansas and we would recommend to both Bret Bielema and Arkansas AD Jeff Long that Bielema win at least 6 games in 2017 or both of them might find themselves out of a job come December which is why the next two games…
Texas A&M (Dallas)
…are MUST WIN GAMES before playing Cupcake New Mexico State on September 30 and then heading into the rest of the SEC schedule with a game at South Carolina.
If Arkansas does lose to TCU and Texas A&M to be at 2 – 2 at the end of September it’s not going to be easy to find 4 more wins among these last 8 games….
At South Carolina
At Ole Miss
….with 6 wins total needed if Bielema wants to be employed in the State of Arkansas after December 2017!