No One Will Believe What Happened in 2020 In 10 Years! – Whatever the Hell It is Week Coaches Hot Seat Rankings! – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny Cash!
In the 50+ years that the 7 people that founded Coaches Hot Seat in the Fall of 2006 been on Earth we cannot recall anything like what has happened in 2020, and even as we are more connected than ever on the Internet it’s our opinion the American People today collectively know less, read less, ask questions less, and ponder big questions less than anytime in American history. We have no idea what’s coming in the next 25 years, but if we are around to see it we are confident people will not believe what we will tell them about what happened in….2020!
One of the things no one will believe in 10 years is that so much time was spent testing College Age Kids for Corona Virus when it has a Fatality Rate lower than the Seasonal Flu for those under 30, but especially that lots of college football games have been cancelled and moved around for Positive Corona Virus Tests that if it was the Flu would mean nothing at all. Corona Virus primarily kills people over the age of 65 and America instead of Protecting Older Americans + Those Pre-Existing Conditions until a Corona Virus Vaccine was available the US + State + Local Governments have taken a Sledgehammer to the entire American Society and if they just done the former there be 200,000+ less dead Americans today.
Indeed, We Are Damn Morons and that will come be well-known in future years once everyone understands what Was and Wasn’t Done to stop a Corona Virus that can be stopped with a combination of Protecting the Vulnerable and a Few Simple Health Rules for the rest. Yes….We Are Damn Morons!
On to College Football in Whatever the Hell Week we just wrapped up it was another fascinating week of football that did have some impact on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings including launching Louisville Head Coach Scott Satterfield onto the Hot Seat for taking an interview with South Carolina when Scott should have known doing such things at a place like Louisville is Very Damn Stupid Indeed! 3 – 7 Louisville hosts Wake Forest this coming Saturday and we would recommend Scott Satterfield win that game or he may just find his ass launched onto a Hot Seat that could end his Head Coaching career and all for what…
So your ass could turn down a job that went to a Tight-Ends Coach?
Very Dumb Scott Satterfield….Very Damn Dumb Son!
Speaking of Dumb when Will Muschamp was hired as the South Carolina Head Coach by AD Ray Tanner 5 years ago we wrote in this Coaches Hot Seat Blog why in the Hell someone would hire a coach that got his ass fired a Florida where it’s almost impossible to get your ass fired since Captain Kangaroo would win 8 games a year at Florida?
5 Years Later Will Muschamp is now gone leaving behind records of..
Overall: 28 – 30
SEC: 17 – 22
…which was as predictable as the Sun coming up in the East but as Batshit Crazy as the hiring of Will Muschamp was the hiring of Shane Beamer who at 43 years of ago has NEVER even held a Coordinator Position on Any Level of Football is a Total Damn Lunacy not of this Earth or of Any Known Planet in the Universe!
In 2019 we were talking to a College Football Coach about Shane Beamer and asked him why Beamer had not gotten a Coordinator Position and his response was >
“He will never get a Coordinator Position, but I would bet he will get a Head Coaching Job because of his last name and only because of his last name.”
We happen to agree and if you change Shane Beamer’s last name to Smith there’s not a Chance In Hell he would have even gotten an interview for the South Carolina Head Coaching Job since there are at least 500 Coaches in College Football more accomplished than Smith….make that Beamer!
Shane Beamer spent 4 years at South Carolina and he’s a Bright Kid…but what in the Hell does that have to do with South Carolina hiring…
The Very Best Damn Coach it Can = A Winner That Has Proven He Can Win on the FBS Level as A Head Coach!
South Carolina just hired a Tight-Ends Coach from Oklahoma because his last name is Beamer and in our opinion…..
Ray Tanner should be fired today but he won’t be because Ray Tanner could Totally Destroy South Carolina Football and Burn Down the University of South Carolina and Stupid Shits in South Carolina be lined-up for miles in Columbia to tell you about how great Ray Tanner is….in our humble opinion!
Please…this Shane Beamer hiring is Total Damn Lunacy after the Batshit Crazy hiring of Will Muschamp and in a Sane World Ray Tanner would be in an Insane Asylum….in our humble opinion!
On to the Whatever the Hell It is Week Coaches Hot Seat Rankings!
Mr. Johnny Cash could you please give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell?
Thank You Johnny!
1. Jim Harbaugh, Michigan – Jim Harbaugh is the same age as many folks at Coaches Hot Seat so we grew up watching Jim, playing College Football the same time as Jim, knowing Jim’s Father Jack Harbaugh, and generally we were very supportive of Jim getting the Stanford job in 2006 and we pushed as much as we could for Stanford to hire Jim over the other finalist who will remain nameless in this blog.
People you give a Damn about you will give the hardest time when they are slacking off and it’s our opinion since Ohio State boat-raced Michigan at the end of the 2018 season the Michigan Football Team has been on a continuous spiral downwards with Little to No Damn Leadership from Jim Harbaugh which led to these records since that OSU game >
Overall: 11 – 9
Big Ten: 8 – 7
We know some folks in Ann Arbor and have a suspicion on what is going on with Jim Harbaugh and why he has lost a lot of his fire the last couple of seasons which has led to a…
Dramatic Decline in Michigan Defensive Play
A Michigan Offense That Has No Rhyme, No Reason, No Heart, No Style, Hell…It Has Nothing At All!
Jim Harbaugh drove Stanford Football, the San Francisco 49rs, and even Michigan Football until the 2018 season like Vince Lombardi drove the Green Bay Packers, but that Jim Harbaugh is gone and it’s our opinion if Jim is not going to give his all to Michigan then he should go find something else to do whether it’s coaching in the NFL or something else…
Just go find something you have a Passion for Jim because Michigan Football right now is a…
A buddy ours who works for an NFL team asked us recently…
“Would we hire Jim Harbaugh right now to coach an NFL team?”
Our response was….
“We would have to talk to Jim in person before we could answer that question because something’s wrong with Jim now and maybe a change of scenery would give Jim new energy…or maybe it wouldn’t. For Damn Sure though we would know after talking to Jim for 10 minutes if we would hire him or not and anyone that knows how to interview people the right way would know it too.”
2 – 4 Michigan has Ohio State left on their schedule and the Buckeyes have been established as 30-point favorites in what would be Jim Harbaugh’s….
72 nd game at Michigan
Sorry but if your ass is the Head Football Coach at Michigan and you are 30 point underdogs to Ohio State in your 6 th season on the job…
Your Ass Should Be Fired!
And Bo Schembechler if alive and Michigan AD would have already fired Jim Harbaugh’s ass….in our humble opinion!
2. Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – We are confident that Kevin Sumlin never saw coming where he is now in his Head Coaching Career and what a great lesson Sumlin is if you don’t care about money and no Real Football Coach cares about money because they are too worried about Winning Football Games.
After Kevin Sumlin got fired at Texas A&M and got a Shit-Load-Ton Potful of Money on the way out the door he should have taken a year or 2 off from coaching but for some reason Arizona came calling to hire a coach who just got fired at Texas A&M which is a Helluva Lot Easier Place to Win Football Games than Arizona!
Why Arizona ever considered Kevin Sumlin for their head coaching job or why Sumlin took the job is a mystery to us but 3 seasons in Sumlin is sitting on records of..
Overall: 9 – 19
Pac-12: 6 – 16
…which is nothing less than a Total and Complete Disaster!
0 – 4 Arizona hosts 0 – 2 Arizona Sate this coming Friday in what can only be described as…
A Total Disaster in Tucson!
3. Jeremy Pruitt, Tennessee – Tennessee playing a Freshman Quarterback #15 against Florida seemed to keep things pretty simple on Offense to try and get the kid some experience and the Sophomore QB #12 that came in looked even better with him being able to handle some more aggressive plays but really now…
In your 33 rd game as the Head Coach at Tennessee you are not competitive at all against Florida….at home in Neyland Stadium?
Jeremy Pruitt’s records are bad enough…
Overall: 15 – 18
SEC: 9 – 15
…but even worse is Pruitt’s record against FBS Teams with .500+ records…
7 – 14
Really….at the University of Tennessee you have a 33% winning percentage against FBS Teams with .500+ records?
Phil Fulmer can do whatever he wants with Jeremy Pruitt job status as long as he’s the AD at Tennessee but there’s Not A Chance In Hell if we had taken over the Vols AD job 3 years ago we interviewed any of the 3 Candidates that Fulmer had as his finalists…
Really….that’s the best Tennessee Football can do?
Sorry but that’s Damn Pitiful and the now 2 – 6 Vols have left in 2020…
…and if Tennessee loses to Vanderbilt this coming Saturday we have been told by our friends in Knoxville that there’s better than a 50 – 50 chance that both Phil Fulmer and Jeremy Pruitt will be fired before the Texas A&M game and Tennessee will go after Hugh Freeze as their next Head Coach….before Auburn does it as well!
4. Justin Fuente, Virginia Tech – A Virginia Tech alum buddy of ours that works on Wall Street called on Sunday and says….
“In the last 3 seasons Fuente’s records are 18 – 18 overall and 13 – 12 in ACC play and for the life of me I cannot imagine Fuente coaching the Hokies in 2021.”
With the 4 – 6 Hokies only having Virginia at home left on the schedule we cannot imagine it either!
5. Tom Herman, Texas – With that 69 – 31 win over Kansas State to move to 6 – 3 on the season and only Pitiful Kansas left Tom Herman will have a 7 – 3 record on the board in 2020 which would leave Herman’s records in 4 seasons at Texas at….
Overall: 32 – 18 .644
Big 12: 22 – 14 .611
If the above records are acceptable to the folks at Texas fine, but they sure the Hell NOT would be acceptable to us nor our Texas-alum buddies who we missed fishing with in South Texas this Summer because of this Damn Corona Virus!
With Urban Meyer reportedly turning down the Texas job that leaves the folks in Austin in an interesting spot with an open engagement with Urban Meyer on the table and no other obvious coach out there that would get Texas Fans and Big Boosters excited.
Now if we were the Athletic Director at Texas understanding the Critical Role that the Head Football Coach at Texas plays in not only winning football games but raising money, talking-up boosters, engaging with fans, and generally being someone who isn’t a Total Damn Ass like Tom Herman who believes his Ass was put on Earth for everyone else to kiss…in our humble opinion….we would fire Tom Herman and hire Any Random Person off the streets of Austin and be assured it be a step-up just on the Human Being scale and yet who should Texas hire to replace Herman then?
Well…if Urban Meyer is out below are the Coaches we would talk to in order to see if they were interested in the Texas Head Coaching Job >
One of the above Coaches would take the Texas job…in our humble opinion and ALL be better than Tom Herman!
6. Jeff Brohm, Purdue – Someone that is making $5M+ Dollars shouldn’t be posting records that look like this at Purdue or anywhere else…
2017: 7 – 6
2018: 6 – 7
2019: 4 – 8
2020: 2 – 4
That 2 – 4 Purdue team has a game left at Indiana so that’s 2 – 5 more than likely in Jeff Brohm’s 4 th year at Purdue and a team that in Brohm’s 44 th game just flat-out…
Got Its Ass Whipped by Nebraska Team that had only 2 Wins coming into the game!
Please…can someone tell us what Jeff Brohm is doing because in our opinion you could fire the Entire Damn Purdue Coaching Staff today and just roll the footballs out onto the practice field and the Boilermakers play a Lot Better and a Helluva Lot Harder!
7. Scott Frost, Nebraska – Scott Frost has now entered the “Mike Shula” era of his career where if Frost can just get his ass dressed in the morning and get his ass into work and beat Pitiful Damn Teams like Penn State and Purdue it’s a…
Famously many Alabama Football Fans were Fighting Like Dogs to keep Mike Shula as the Head Coach at Alabama when after 4 seasons on the job Shula had posted a record of…
26 – 23
..and it is our humble opinion that Scott Frost could Burn Down the Nebraska Football Program and Entire State of Nebraska and a majority of Nebraska Football fans would be cheering him on hoping he could burn down something else!
In the Real World this is called Mass Delusional and it’s a real problem at Nebraska now where people are able to justify Scott Frost sitting on a record of…..
11 – 19
…after 3 years on the job and if the Huskers beat Minnesota to end the season that be..
12 – 19
…and here are the records of the 2 Previous Head Coaches at Nebraska after 3 seasons on the job…
Bill Callahan: 22 – 15
Mike Riley: 19 – 19
As we said….Mass Delusion + Lots of Stupid Shit!
Today most fans of Alabama Football will readily admit that accepting the Mike Shula Years at Alabama was a form of Total Damn Lunacy and eventually if Scott Frost continues on his current trend it will be seen as Total Damn Lunacy as well.
8. Dino Babers, Syracuse – With the loss to Notre Dame on Saturday the Orange finished at 1 – 10 in 2020 and Dino Babers records after 5 seasons on the job now stand at…
Overall: 24 – 36
SEC: 13 – 29
…with only ONE Winning Season on the board and if that’s OK for the folks that run and cheer for Syracuse Football then Fine and Dandy and immediately turn in your American Citizen Cards because your ass should be living in a Communist Country that is willing to accept Total Mediocrity!
9. Les Miles, Kansas – With only Texas left on the schedule for 0 – 9 Kansas Les Miles is headed for a Winless Record in his 2nd Season on the job which has left Miles’ records at…
Overall: 3 – 17
Big 12: 1 – 15
Please…Someone…Anyone…can you tell us why Les Miles was hired at Kansas?
Looking for some Damn Moron to speak-up and we don’t even see or hear that!
10. Gus Malzahn, Auburn – If Gus Malzahn is succeeding at Auburn then Auburn Fans must be willing to accept 4+ Losses A Season for…wait for it…
7 Straight Seasons Now
….which is what you got with Gus Malzahn and that would be FIVE losses in 2020 if the SEC Conference actually employed Refs that knew their ass from the side of a barn…the Bogus Arkansas Game ending of course!
What it really comes down to Auburn is…
Are you willing to accept Total Damn Mediocrity?
If you are….GREAT….then keep Gus Malzahn but understand that you…meaning Auburn….
Is Totally Damn Mediocre….and You Love It!
Embrace that Truth and Love It!