Tag Archive: Jeff Hafley

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 12 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > When you are sitting on a record of 37 – 21 in 5 seasons at Texas A&M which ain’t good at all if anyone’s asking one starts to wonder just what in the Hell is inside that Very Average Record and so we took at look it and Jimbo Fisher’s…

Record against FBS Teams with .500+ Records in Year the Aggies played them is…wait for it…

17 – 20

The $86 Million Buyout Man has a record of 17 – 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ records!

If that doesn’t say it all then what the Hell does exactly?

Geez…Texas A&M has paid Jimbo Fisher around $40 Million Dollars and his ass is sitting on a record of…

17 and Freaking 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ Records!

Yep…this will all be corrected by continuing this Damn Nonsense for another year!

2.  Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald whose ass have a hard time getting a job Shoveling Shit if not on the Northwestern campus in our humble opinion not that Pretty Boy Patty Boy have the Guts to take a job in the Real World where your ass actually has got to perform to get paid lost another game on Saturday which drops the Non-Fighting Candy Ass Wildcats to 1 – 10 on the season with only a game against Illinois left on the docket…the High Tea + Crumpets Docket that is!

What happens to a football program when you go Total Candy Ass?

Northwestern Football right now is the answer to that question so any coaches out there thinking of following Pretty Boy Patty Boy down the Yellow Lollipop Non-Brick Road of Total Candy Ass don’t do it…Just Don’t Do It!

3.  David Shaw, Stanford > Only David Shaw down by 10 points at the end of a football game would run a field goal kicker onto the field to try a meaningless field goal in the Candy Ass Game between Stanford and Cal and what a Perfect Summary for Stanford Football the last 4 seasons…

Kicking A Meaningless Field Goal for what reason exactly?

To sooth the egos of Worthless Candy Asses that wouldn’t know how to play the Game of Football on the best day of their lives?

The Last 4 Seasons David Shaw’s record at Stanford is now…wait for it…

14 – 27

Stanford coulda have hired Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown who fell off the Cal Train at the Palo Alto Station and made him Head Football Coach at Stanford and done better than that but then Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown wouldn’t have turned Stanford Football into Total Candy Asses who don’t know how to…

Block, Tackle, Hit, Run, Do Damn Anything that has Anything To Do With the Game of Football in America!

To say that Stanford Football is a Damn Disgrace to Stanford, to College Football, and to the American Republic and its People is Self-Evident but what may not be Self-Evident to folks that don’t follow Stanford Football closely is that in the Spring of 2019 David Shaw and the Stanford Coaching Staff were warned if they turned the Cardinal Football Players into Total Candy Asses it would be a Total Disaster and guess what happened…

Yep…A Total Freaking Damn Disaster!

Shameful….Just Damn Shameful….on Every Damn Imaginable Level!

4.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > We got to see New Mexico play football this past Friday night and now we know why Danny Gonzalez has been a Total Disaster in Albuquerque…

New Mexico is one of the Most Fundamentally Unsound Football Teams we have seen in 40+ years of watching College Football

…and now you know why Gonzales is sitting on a record of….

7 – 23

….in 3 seasons with the Lobos!

Surely this Total Disaster cannot continue!

5.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > West Virginia has a proud football tradition going back for decades now and Neal Brown in 4 seasons at WVU is now sitting on records of…

Overall > 21 – 25

Big 12 > 13 – 21

…and thus it’s Self-Evident why West Virginia will have a New Head Football Coach in 2023!

6.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The folks at Arkansas State are mighty proud of how far they have come with their football program in recent years and rightly so and thus Butch Jones in 2 seasons on the job at ASU sitting on records of….

Overall > 5 – 17

Sun Belt > 3 – 12

…has got to mean that Butch is about to get his ass run out of Jonesboro….Right?

7.  Philip Montgomery, Tulsa > Ole Philip has had a nice…make that Yo-Yo run….at Tulsa in the last 8 seasons posting….

4 Winning Seasons in 8 Years on the job

…and records of…

Overall > 42 – 53

AAC: 27 – 34

Surely this cannot continue at a place that is proud of their football as the folks in Tulsa are of theirs….Right?

Maybe it can…if you willing to Accept Average As Hell!

8.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College > After two seasons of 6 – 5 and 6 – 6 for Jeff Hafley at Boston College which is Average at Best at BC we expected the Eagles to be a little better in 2022 but they have been a Total Disaster and after a blowout loss at the hands of Notre Dame where it looked like the BC players were hardly trying the Eagles are 3 – 8 with only a game at reeling Syracuse left on the schedule.

Will Boston College bother to show up to play against Syracuse in a game they could easily win?

If not then Hafley should be fired right after the game!

9.  Mario Cristobal, Miami > Against a Clemson Team that has given up 20+ points in 6 of its 8 ACC Conference Games in 2022 Miami was only able to score 10 points and couldn’t get even 100 yards of Total Offense and like we said weeks ago in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog…

Either Mario Cristobal will get his hands off the Miami Offense and let the Canes run something above a Pee Wee Level Offense or Mario’s ass will be run right out of Miami!

The Canes are now 5 – 6 on the season with none of those wins coming against FBS teams with .500+ records and they got a game against Pittsburgh at home left to try and get to even Pitiful Bowl Eligible and if Miami cannot find a way to rally and win this game at home then Mario Cristobal will start the 2023 season on one of the Hottest Preseason Hot Seat in recent College Football History and will be at risk of getting his ass run right out of South Florida after only 2 years on the job if he posted another sub .500 record!

Don’t lose to Pitt now Mario!

10.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > Arizona has looked better in Year 2 than Year 1 under Jedd Fisch but Facts Are Stubborn Things is what John Adams is to have reported to have said and in two years on the job Jedd Fisch’s records at Arizona now stand at >

Overall > 5 – 17

Pac-12 > 3 – 13

Recent Head Coaches Records after 2 seasons at Arizona >

Kevin Sumlin > 9 – 15
Rich Rodriguez > 16 – 10
Mike Stoops> 6 – 16

Can Arizona beat Arizona State on Saturday so that Jedd Fisch can at least match Mike Stoops 6 wins in his first two seasons at Arizona?

We sure don’t know the answer to that question but win or lose to the Sun Devils it’s still….

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny! – Thank You Mr. Cash!

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

Give These Hot Seat Coaches Hell Johnny!

Thank You Mr. Cash and….

Post Week 10 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

1.  Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > You gotta feel for the Average Texas A&M Football Fan because…

They got a Head Coach that 95% of Aggies fans would love to fire tomorrow and yet…

They cannot fire Jimbo’s Ass because they would own him $86M Large if they did!

Got Damn Lunacy on Steroids?

Yep and what a Helluva Lesson that no one in College Athletics will learn a Damn Thing from but here’s the Real Kicker and hold onto your sides because your ass is about to breakout laughing like a Hyena drunk on East Tennessee River Moonshine >

If the Aggies fire Jimbo’s Ass after the 2023 season they will owe him…wait for it…

$77M Large!

As one Aggie Buddy of ours in Houston told us on Sunday…

“Desperate Times call for Desperate Measures and since our Aggies asses are in a sling here with Jimbo there are 500,000 Aggies alums in the world today and if each one of them just donated $172 each we could fire Jimbo’s Damn Ass this afternoon! Just for good measure I will throw in $1,720 to really get the ball rolling and Hell if we lose to Auburn this coming Saturday make that $17,200!”

Oh…the Aggies go to Auburn on Saturday to play a fired-up Tigers team under Cadillac Williams and you know what that means…

Aggies and Jimbo about to get their asses handed to them on The Plains by a team with an Interim Head Coach and Roster that has about 50% of the Talent of Texas A&M!

$172 Per Aggie…Time To Pony Up Aggies and end this Damn Stupidity before it gets really bad in Aggieland and you ain’t no where the Rock Bottom that is coming Aggies…trust us on that one!

2.  Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy and his Non-Fighting Wildcats lost another game on Saturday and over the last 4 seasons for Pretty Boy Patty Boy that’s a record of…

14 – 28

….which a Perfect Pretty Boy Patty Boy Winning Percentage of…wait for it…

.333!

Pass the Tea & Crumpets because Mr. .333 Pretty Boy Patty Boy is on a number that rhymes with…

Tea, Tea, Tea

…which his Non-Fighting Wildcats take each day at High Noon instead of practicing and then they have a Fun, Fun, Fun Goose Down Pillow Fight in a warm room inside the Northwestern Athletic Complex because Pretty Boy Patty Boy’s players can’t be getting their little tushes cold now outside….no we can’t have that!

The Non-Fighting Wildcats with a loss on Saturday are now at…

1 – 8

….on the season and have left games against….

At Minnesota
At Purdue
Illinois

Got 14 – 31 the last 4 seasons which would be a Winning Percentage of .311 for Pretty Boy Patty Boy?

Great Thing is .311 Rhymes with….

Tea + One + One = Tea + 1 Crumpet + 1 Goose Down Pillow for All the Non-Fighting Wildcats Players = Oh So Special!

3.  Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The Butch Jones Era at Arkansas State the last 2 seasons summed-up in a movie clip >

That Is All!

4.  David Shaw, Stanford > If you know a Damn Thing about the Game of Football you can Hear a Great Football Practice going on instead of having to See It and the Stanford alums at Coaches Hot Seat noticed something beginning in the 2018 season when they on the Stanford campus that really cranked-up in the Spring and Fall before the 2019 season that they started talking about a lot years ago now >

Stanford Football was no longer practicing Football but were instead what one Coaches Hot Seat Member described as “Glorified Tiddly-Winks!”

Well…since Stanford Football began their Glorified Tiddly-Winks Horseshit their Head Coach David Shaw has posted a record the last 4 seasons of…

14 – 25

As you can see this is very similar to the Win/Loss Record of Pretty Boy Patty Boy Fitzgerald at Northwestern and the Common Theme with both programs >

Their Asses Quit Practicing Football but instead…you got it…just been doing Glorified Tiddly Winks = Total Horseshit!

When your ass practices like Total Candy Asses guess what your ass gonna play like?

Total Damn Candy Asses and the Biggest Candy Asses in America today >

The Stanford Non-Damn Football Team!

It’s Shameful but David Shaw has No Shame, No Pride, Not One Damn Thing beyond…

Total Damn Arrogance that his Ass is God Almighty on Earth and anyone that would dare disagree with him is a Worthless Shit!

Sorry David….Your Damn Idiocy has Totally Destroyed Stanford Football!

Be Proud…Be Damn Proud of the Damn Losers you have created with Damn Idiocy!

Stanford is now 3 – 6 on the season after getting Totally Destroyed by 4 – 4 Washington State team at home on The Farm and the Candy Asses have left >

At Utah = Will Totally Destroy Stanford

At Cal = Who knows in what should be known as the Total Candy Ass Game instead of the Big Game!

BYU = Will Probably Totally Destroy Stanford

5.  Justin Wilcox, California > Somehow the Cal Offense could only score 13 points on Awful Colorado just a few weeks ago and yet they scored 35 points on the USC Defense says all you gotta know about the Damn Idiocy of the Trojans Defense and with that loss to USC Justin Wilcox’s records at Cal in 6 seasons stands at >

Overall:  29 – 34

Pac-12:  16 – 30

We don’t have a clue what Cal expects out of their football program but it’s got to better than the above records…Right?

6.  Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > New Mexico lost at Utah State which has been reeling itself of late and that drops the Lobos record in 2022 to 2 – 7 and Danny Gonzales records at UNM to >

Overall:  7 – 21

MWC:  3 – 17

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

7.  Neal Brown, West Virginia > We are not quite sure what West Virginia expected out of Neal Brown when they hired him 4 seasons ago but it can’t be this >

Overall:  20 – 24

Big 12:  12 – 20

That 20 – 24 is a .455 Winning % and the last WVU Head Coach Dana Holgorsen posted a….

.598 Winning %

Surely this cannot continue…Right?

8.  Jedd Fisch, Arizona > The Winning Percentages of the Last 5 Arizona Head Coaches >

John Mackovic = .357 = Fired
Mike Stoops = .451 = Fired
Rich Rodriguez = .551 = Fired
Kevin Sumlin = .310 = Fired

Jedd Fisch = .190

Arizona is now 3 – 6 on the 2022 season and has left to play >

At UCLA
Washington State
Arizona State

9.  Jeff Hafley, Boston College > In what has got to be the Weakest ACC Football Conference in 2022 that we have seen in a Helluva Long Time it’s really perplexing that Boston College is Weaker than most with BC sitting on a record of…

2 – 7

…in 2022 and their Head Coach Jeff Hafley now having records posted of….

Overall:  14 – 18

ACC:  8 – 16

Boston College at 2 – 7 has left this season >

At NC State
At Notre Dame
Syracuse

That looks like 2 – 10 to us and a Helluva Problem for the folks up on Chestnut Hill…a Helluva Problem!

10.  Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – We didn3t expect Navy to beat Cincinnati on Saturday but they kept the game close before losing 20 – 10 to drop their record to 3 – 6 on the season with these games left >

Notre Dame in Baltimore
At UCF
Army

Geez…with Kenny Boy sitting on record the last 3 seasons of…

10 – 21

…that sure looks like 2 more losses to us and then the Army game against a Very Average Army team and…

Surely this cannot continue…Right?