1. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > When you are sitting on a record of 37 – 21 in 5 seasons at Texas A&M which ain’t good at all if anyone’s asking one starts to wonder just what in the Hell is inside that Very Average Record and so we took at look it and Jimbo Fisher’s…
Record against FBS Teams with .500+ Records in Year the Aggies played them is…wait for it…
17 – 20
The $86 Million Buyout Man has a record of 17 – 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ records!
If that doesn’t say it all then what the Hell does exactly?
Geez…Texas A&M has paid Jimbo Fisher around $40 Million Dollars and his ass is sitting on a record of…
17 and Freaking 20 against FBS Teams with .500+ Records!
Yep…this will all be corrected by continuing this Damn Nonsense for another year!
2. Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern > Ole Pretty Boy Patty Boy Pat Fitzgerald whose ass have a hard time getting a job Shoveling Shit if not on the Northwestern campus in our humble opinion not that Pretty Boy Patty Boy have the Guts to take a job in the Real World where your ass actually has got to perform to get paid lost another game on Saturday which drops the Non-Fighting Candy Ass Wildcats to 1 – 10 on the season with only a game against Illinois left on the docket…the High Tea + Crumpets Docket that is!
What happens to a football program when you go Total Candy Ass?
Northwestern Football right now is the answer to that question so any coaches out there thinking of following Pretty Boy Patty Boy down the Yellow Lollipop Non-Brick Road of Total Candy Ass don’t do it…Just Don’t Do It!
3. David Shaw, Stanford > Only David Shaw down by 10 points at the end of a football game would run a field goal kicker onto the field to try a meaningless field goal in the Candy Ass Game between Stanford and Cal and what a Perfect Summary for Stanford Football the last 4 seasons…
Kicking A Meaningless Field Goal for what reason exactly?
To sooth the egos of Worthless Candy Asses that wouldn’t know how to play the Game of Football on the best day of their lives?
The Last 4 Seasons David Shaw’s record at Stanford is now…wait for it…
14 – 27
Stanford coulda have hired Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown who fell off the Cal Train at the Palo Alto Station and made him Head Football Coach at Stanford and done better than that but then Any Damn Drunken Rodeo Clown wouldn’t have turned Stanford Football into Total Candy Asses who don’t know how to…
Block, Tackle, Hit, Run, Do Damn Anything that has Anything To Do With the Game of Football in America!
To say that Stanford Football is a Damn Disgrace to Stanford, to College Football, and to the American Republic and its People is Self-Evident but what may not be Self-Evident to folks that don’t follow Stanford Football closely is that in the Spring of 2019 David Shaw and the Stanford Coaching Staff were warned if they turned the Cardinal Football Players into Total Candy Asses it would be a Total Disaster and guess what happened…
Yep…A Total Freaking Damn Disaster!
Shameful….Just Damn Shameful….on Every Damn Imaginable Level!
4. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > We got to see New Mexico play football this past Friday night and now we know why Danny Gonzalez has been a Total Disaster in Albuquerque…
New Mexico is one of the Most Fundamentally Unsound Football Teams we have seen in 40+ years of watching College Football
…and now you know why Gonzales is sitting on a record of….
7 – 23
….in 3 seasons with the Lobos!
Surely this Total Disaster cannot continue!
5. Neal Brown, West Virginia > West Virginia has a proud football tradition going back for decades now and Neal Brown in 4 seasons at WVU is now sitting on records of…
Overall > 21 – 25
Big 12 > 13 – 21
…and thus it’s Self-Evident why West Virginia will have a New Head Football Coach in 2023!
6. Butch Jones, Arkansas State > The folks at Arkansas State are mighty proud of how far they have come with their football program in recent years and rightly so and thus Butch Jones in 2 seasons on the job at ASU sitting on records of….
Overall > 5 – 17
Sun Belt > 3 – 12
…has got to mean that Butch is about to get his ass run out of Jonesboro….Right?
7. Philip Montgomery, Tulsa > Ole Philip has had a nice…make that Yo-Yo run….at Tulsa in the last 8 seasons posting….
4 Winning Seasons in 8 Years on the job
…and records of…
Overall > 42 – 53
AAC: 27 – 34
Surely this cannot continue at a place that is proud of their football as the folks in Tulsa are of theirs….Right?
Maybe it can…if you willing to Accept Average As Hell!
8. Jeff Hafley, Boston College > After two seasons of 6 – 5 and 6 – 6 for Jeff Hafley at Boston College which is Average at Best at BC we expected the Eagles to be a little better in 2022 but they have been a Total Disaster and after a blowout loss at the hands of Notre Dame where it looked like the BC players were hardly trying the Eagles are 3 – 8 with only a game at reeling Syracuse left on the schedule.
Will Boston College bother to show up to play against Syracuse in a game they could easily win?
If not then Hafley should be fired right after the game!
9. Mario Cristobal, Miami > Against a Clemson Team that has given up 20+ points in 6 of its 8 ACC Conference Games in 2022 Miami was only able to score 10 points and couldn’t get even 100 yards of Total Offense and like we said weeks ago in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog…
Either Mario Cristobal will get his hands off the Miami Offense and let the Canes run something above a Pee Wee Level Offense or Mario’s ass will be run right out of Miami!
The Canes are now 5 – 6 on the season with none of those wins coming against FBS teams with .500+ records and they got a game against Pittsburgh at home left to try and get to even Pitiful Bowl Eligible and if Miami cannot find a way to rally and win this game at home then Mario Cristobal will start the 2023 season on one of the Hottest Preseason Hot Seat in recent College Football History and will be at risk of getting his ass run right out of South Florida after only 2 years on the job if he posted another sub .500 record!
Don’t lose to Pitt now Mario!
10. Jedd Fisch, Arizona > Arizona has looked better in Year 2 than Year 1 under Jedd Fisch but Facts Are Stubborn Things is what John Adams is to have reported to have said and in two years on the job Jedd Fisch’s records at Arizona now stand at >
Overall > 5 – 17
Pac-12 > 3 – 13
Recent Head Coaches Records after 2 seasons at Arizona >
Kevin Sumlin > 9 – 15 Rich Rodriguez > 16 – 10 Mike Stoops> 6 – 16
Can Arizona beat Arizona State on Saturday so that Jedd Fisch can at least match Mike Stoops 6 wins in his first two seasons at Arizona?
We sure don’t know the answer to that question but win or lose to the Sun Devils it’s still….
1. Jeff Scott, South Florida > South Florida had a bye in Week 8 and Jeff Scott’s records at USF still at >
Overall: 4 – 24 AAC: 1 – 17
The Bulls have left in 2022 >
At Houston At Temple SMU At Tulsa UCF
Now a Coach in his THIRD season at South Florida should do No Damn Worse than >
3 – 2
In the above games!
What will Scott and the Bulls do?
Let’s find out!
2. Bryan Harsin, Auburn > The word we have heard out of Auburn and on a couple of sports talk shows in Alabama is that >
There is no Adequate Coach on the Auburn Staff to be the Interim Auburn Head Coach if Harsin was fired so Harsin is still the Head Coach of the Auburn Tigers!
The 3 – 4 Auburn Tigers have left in 2022 >
Arkansas At Mississippi State Texas A&M Western Kentucky At Alabama
Auburn can win a couple of those games at least if the team plays hard!
Let’s find out!
Don’t want to jinx anyone but the word we are getting out of Auburn is that the Big $$$ Boys around Auburn are debating between below Coaches for their next Head Coach at Auburn >
Jamey Chadwell Kevin Steele Hugh Freeze
Our guess on October 24 who the next Head Coach at Auburn will be >
Hugh Freeze
3. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M > The very first time that a Member of Coaches Hot Seat talked to and met Jimbo Fisher he was the Quarterback at Samford University in Birmingham, Alabama, actually Homewood, Alabama just South of Birmingham, playing for then Samford Head Coach Terry Bowden.
We don’t have any ill will against Jimbo and actually understand both where Jimbo came from, how he worked his ass for Nick Saban and Bobby Bowden and fought his way up to the top of the College Football Coaching World, and what has happened with Jimbo since the Jameis Winston days at Florida State and now to Texas A&M.
Very simply we know what drives Jimbo and what has gone wrong with Jimbo and in a lot of ways for lots of different reasons Jimbo has lost his way the last few years at Texas A&M and has mainly lost sight of what College Football and Coaching are all about and this Aggies team now reflects a Head Coach that is lost and honestly needs a break from the game for at least a year or two and Jimbo probably knows this better than anyone else!
In Year 5 at Texas A&M for Jimbo Fisher, when the Aggies should be a Rolling War Machine of a Football Program, they just lost to an Average South Carolina team with still a Green and Young Head Coach in Shane Beamer who is showing Great Promise like his Legendary Daddy Frank but really now >
There’s no reason that the Aggies didn’t roll in and Totally Dominate South Carolina in Jimbo Fisher’s 55 th game as the Head coach at Texas A&M!
Now at 3 – 4 on the season the Aggies have left >
Ole Miss Florida At Auburn UMass LSU
4 games left at Kyle Field and the Aggies should win all 4 and really should beat Auburn as well to finish at 8 – 4 on the season but if A&M loses to Ole Miss this coming Saturday they probably will only beat UMass!
The sad thing is if this does collapse the A&M folks gonna have to pay around $100M to fire Jimbo Fisher and his staff then commit to another $50M to hire the Next Head Coach of the Aggies and does anyone with a 2+ IQ have Any Damn Confidence that Anyone at or around Texas A&M has 1 Damn Clue what they are doing?
NOPE!
4. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The Total Candy Ass Non-Fighting Baby Cats of Patty Boy Fitzgerald Fame lost another game on Saturday and now that’s a record the last 2 seasons for Patty Boy of >
4 – 15
The Real Lesson Here >
When your ass goes Total Candy Ass when your ass supposed to be Coaching Football expect to Lose A Helluva Lot of Football Games and Northwestern went Total Candy Ass 2 years ago under Patty Boy!
The Total Candy Ass Non-Fighting Baby Cats of Patty Boy now at 1 – 6 on the season have left in 2022 >
At Iowa Ohio State At Minnesota At Purdue Illinois
Got 1 – 11 Patty Boy?
We will be Happy to fly over to Evanston Patty Boy and hold some Real Football Practices and Toughen Up Your Boys Son if you like Patty Boy but we gonna practice them like we do our Coaches Hot Seat Flag Football Practices playing Real Football now so No Damn Crying if any of them get a Boo-Boo or two!
5. Ken Niumatalolo, Navy > With the loss to Houston at home on Saturday Navy Head Coach Kenny Boy’s record since he went Total Candy Ass in Annapolis after the 2019 season is >
9 – 20
Hello!
When your ass goes Total Candy Ass >
See Northwestern and Stanford
Your Ass is going to Lose A Helluva Lot of Football Games!
2 – 5 Navy has left in 2022 >
Temple At Cincinnati Notre Dame At UCF Army
Got 3 – 9 Kenny Boy?
We got 15+ US Navy Combat Vets at Coaches Hot Seat Kenny Boy and the Navy Football Team is very simply >
A Total Embarrassment to the United States Navy!
Shameful! Just Damn Shameful!
6. Butch Jones, Arkansas State > With the loss to Louisiana on Saturday, which drops the Red Wolves record in 2022 to 2 – 6, Butch Jones records at Arkansas State in 2 seasons on the job are now >
Overall 4 – 16 Sun Belt 2 – 11
That’s all we have to say and it’s plenty!
7. Mario Cristobal, Miami > Mario Cristobal took over a Miami team that went 7 – 5 in 2021 and beat Duke 47 – 10 in their last game and got their Head Coach run out of Miami and what has Mario done in Year 1 on the job with the Canes?
Try now at 3 – 4 on the season and just got blasted at home by Duke with a First Year Head Coach and heading towards a Losing Season when Bozo the Clown could have coached the Hurricanes Drunk from a Motel 6 in Sebring, Florida and won 7 games easy!
We had a couple of Members of Coaches Hot Seat up in Eugene this past weekend for the UCLA vs Oregon game and they were talking to “X Person closely associated with Oregon Athletics” and this “X Person” said >
“Greatest thing ever happened to Oregon Football was Mario taking the Miami job!”
Oh?
The 3 – 4 Canes have left in 2022 >
At Virginia Florida State At Georgia Tech At Clemson Pitt
Hell the Canes are not going to win 6 games in 2022!
Mario gonna get his ass run right out of Miami after Year 1?
Maybe!
8. Danny Gonzales, New Mexico > We don’t have a Damn Clue why Danny Gonzales has been a Total Disaster at New Mexico but very simply >
Danny Gonzales has been a Total Disaster at New Mexico!
Just the Facts as Joe Friday used to say >
Overall 7 – 20 MWC 3 – 16
Just A Total Damn Disaster!
9. Steve Sarkisan, Texas > A few of us first met Sark when he was on Pete Carroll’s staff at USC and love Steve but we like our Fathers and All Good Fathers are >
Hardest on those we love because we know their asses can do better!
In 2 seasons at Texas Sark is now >
10 – 10
Lest we remind folks that Tom Herman was fired at Texas for going >
7 – 6 10 – 4 8 – 5 7 – 3
Sark is now >
5 – 7 5 – 3
Longhorns have left in 2022 >
At Kansas State TCU At Kansas Baylor
Hell Texas could easily go 5 – 7 again this year and if that happens >
10. Brent Venables, Oklahoma > Brent Venables in Year 1 at Oklahoma is 4 – 3 and has left on the schedule >
At Iowa State Baylor At West Virginia Oklahoma State At Texas Tech
Oh Geez the Sooners might not get 6 wins in 2022 and if not then >
1. Jeff Scott, South Florida – The Losing Train continues at South Florida under Jeff Scott and maybe the train is starting to get some competitive fire in it with the Bulls keeping the game against Cincinnati close but >
Another Loss is Another Loss!
Scott’s records at USF now stand at >
Overall: 4 – 23 AAC: 1 – 16
South Florida has left in 2022 >
Tulane At Houston At Temple SMU At Tulsa UCF
If South Florida is becoming a better football team
You should win 3 of these last 6 games Son!
2. David Shaw, Stanford – The Great Lesson for Everyone in the Game of Football with what has happened to Stanford Football the last 4 years is >
When your ass Stops Practicing Football You are Going To Lose A Helluva Lot of Football Games!
David Shaw’s Win/Loss Record at Stanford the Last 4 Seasons >
12 – 23
Oh only 4 of those 12 Wins were over Teams with .500+ Records!
The Fall of Stanford Football has been
Intentional On Purpose Designed Done With Happiness
AND
Pure Damn Total Candy Ass Damn Idiocy!
If your ass Practices like Total Damn Candy Asses guess how you Play Football?
Like Total Damn Candy Asses!
We could take a dozen members of Coaches Hot Seat all in their 50s down to Stanford today and >
Whip the Living Hell out of the Total Damn Candy Asses on the Stanford Football Team who are NOT
Real Men Nor Real Stanford Students who are TOUGH!
Cut this Worthless Damn Horseshit before it spreads to other Stanford Sports Teams and the rest of the University!
3. Brent Venables, Oklahoma – We have had what we will call a Very Good Contact within Oklahoma Athletics for a long time now and we have been interested in what this VGC has been telling us about Brent Venables tenure at Oklahoma and last Friday night before the Texas game the OU VGC said to a Coaches Hot Seat Member >
I am still waiting on Brent to start being the Head Coach at Oklahoma. Maybe he will get around to it soon!
That’s the Problem >
Brent Venables isn’t a Head Football Coach
He’s A Damn Cheerleader!
Memo to Brent Venables >Start Coaching Football Son or you are going to keep Losing and your ass is going to get run out of your dream job!
After the Total Disaster against Texas the Sooners are now 3 – 3 and have left in 2022 >
Iowa State At Oklahoma State At Kansas State TCU At Kansas Baylor
Will the Sooners win another game in 2022?
Not if Brent Venables gonna be a Damn Cheerleader instead of a Head Football Coach at Oklahoma!
4. Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern – The Biggest Candy Ass in the Midwestern USA = Pat Fitzgerald keeps on proving he’s the
Biggest Candy Ass in the Midwestern USA
with a 42 – 7 home loss to Wisconsin which just fired it’s Head Coach and the Wildcats now at 1 – 5 and these games left
At Maryland At Iowa Ohio State At Minnesota At Purdue Illinois
will Northwestern win another game in 2022?
Better question for Patty Boy >
Are those Goose Down Feather Pillows your Candy Ass team uses at practices Patty Boy?
5. Bryan Harsin, Auburn – With the loss to Georgia on Saturday that drops Bryan Harsin’s record at Auburn below the Mendoza Line at >
9 – 10
and the Damn Idiocy Train continues to roll on Auburn with >
Damn Idiots on All Sides Hiring Football Coaches and we cannot wait to see who Auburn hires to follow Harsin…Guaranteed to be Hilarious!
6. Jimbo Fisher, Texas A&M – If your ass can play Alabama tough in Tuscaloosa you would think that
Your ass could beat Appy State at Kyle Field!
Right?
Oh Appy State lost to Texas State on Saturday!
There’s a Helluva Lot of Talent in College Station but there’s >
NO Football Team
and as long as Jimbo Fisher focuses on Coaching Players instead of Building A Football Team this Total Disaster will keep unraveling unless things change in the Bye Week because the 3 – 3 Aggies have left
At South Carolina Ole Miss Florida At Auburn UMass LSU
Can the Aggies win 3 of their last 6 games to even get to a .500 record in Jimbo’s 5 the season in Aggieland?
If the Aggies lose at South Carolina NOT LIKELY because these Aggies will probably Flat Out Quit on Jimbo and Everyone Else they lose another game!
What happens when your ass is being paid $8M+ a year and you post a Losing Record in Year 5?
Your Ass Gets Run out of Aggieland and out of the Republic of Texas On A Rail!
7. Mario Cristobal, Miami – We are not quite sure what Mario Cristobal has been doing at Miami in the last 9 months but whatever the Hell it is Mario….
Do Something Different Son!
Lots of folks in College Football been whispering to us for a few years now that…
Mario Cristobal can recruit but he’s not much of a Practice or Gameday Coach
Really?
Hell…based upon the way that Miami has looked so far in Mario’s Year 1…they may be right!
The 2 – 3 Hurricanes with only wins over Southern Miss and Bethune Cookman have left in 2022 >
At Virginia Tech Duke At Virginia Florida State At Georgia Tech At Clemson Pitt
Hell…Miami not get to 6 Wins in 2022 and Manny Diaz NEVER had a losing season in 3 years coaching the Canes!
Get off your Damn Ass Mario…and quick Son!
8. Scot Loeffler, Bowling Green – In 4 seasons at Bowling Green Scot Loeffler’s records >
Overall: 9 – 26 MAC: 5 – 8
Alrighty!
9. Tim Albin, Ohio – Tim Albin 2 season at Ohio >
Overall: 6 – 12 MAC: 4 – 6
The Bobcats now at 3 – 3 have left this season
At Western Michigan Northern Illinois Buffalo At Miami (OH) At Ball State Bowling Green
Ohio should win at least 3 of their remaining games but we have no idea if they can or will!
10. Ken Niumatalolo, Navy – Finally Navy Football is getting a Little Tiny Amount of Fight with a Tough Game against Air Force and a Big Win over Tulsa and now we are interested to see if Navy can keep playing like this or
Will they turn back into the Total Candy Asses they were a few weeks ago?
Now at 2 – 3 on the year Navy has left >
At SMU Houston Temple At Cincinnati Notre Dame At UCF Army
Geez…Navy better be a Lot Tougher Football Team or Kenny Boy will post his 3 rd straight losing season at Navy!
Come on Kenny
You are representing the entire US Navy Son and Your Ass and Your Team Needs to be Toughen the Hell Up even MORE!
We will have a lot more to say about the New FBS Head Coaching Hires in January 2020 but so far….
Appalachian State – Shawn Clark – No Clue About
Arkansas – Sam Pittman – The Worst Head Coaching Hire in College Football History…YES…even worse than Charlie Weis Hired by Kansas…in our humble opinion!
Colorado State – Steve Addazio – We would not hire Steve Addazio to Shovel Shit in Eastern Colorado forget about to coach Colorado State because in our opinion Addazio is a Pompous Arrogant Ass Punk and a Sorry Damn Excuse for a Human Being and top of all that…he’s an Average As Hell Coach!
Florida Atlantic – Willie Taggert – Whatever. Makes No Sense To Us but….Whatever.
Missouri – Eli Drinkwitz – Eli can coach the game of football and we expect him to WIN at Missouri…how much he will WIN is up for debate but the guy can coach and he will WIN at Mizzou!
Old Dominion – Ricky Rahne – No Clue About
Ole Miss – Lane Kiffin – Lane Kiffin is a different + better Human Being and a better Football Coach than the guy who was fired on the tarmac at Los Angeles International Airport and we will be interested to see what Lane can do at Ole Miss. Our expectations is that he will average 7 to 8 wins a season over the first 3 seasons which is Pretty Damn Good at Ole Miss. Whether Lane Kiffin can do better than that is really up to Lane Kiffin!
Rutgers – Greg Schiano – We don’t like Greg Schiano and consider him to be a Pompous Arrogant Ass Jerk and we would never hire the guy to coach any football team we were associated with but maybe he can win at Rutgers….maybe not. It’s a tough place to win sitting in the Big Ten East Division and Rutgers should be a better football program than Maryland but the rest of the teams in that division….those teams will be very hard to pass.
South Florida – Jeff Scott – Jeff Scott has been a solid assistant coach but now he’s got to lead a South Florida football program that should be winning 8+ games a season and let’s see what the kid can do.
UNLV – Marcus Arroyo – Really? What a Crazy Ass Hire!
UTSA – Jeff Traylor – No Clue About
Washington – Jimmy Lake – Jimmy Lake has always impressed us as an assistant coach at Washington and we are interested to see what he can do following Chris Petersen who elevated the Huskies to place where they haven’t been since Rick Neuheisel’s days at UW and now it’s up to Jimmy Lake to do that as well. Good Luck to you Jimmy!
Let’s bring out the Great Johnny Cash to give these Hot Seat Coaches Hell!
1. Tom Herman, Texas – There really is no explanation for what has been going on at Texas since the Longhorns won the National Championship in 2009 and have posted the following records since >
That’s 4+ losses for the Mighty Texas Longhorns for 10 straight seasons now and 5+ losses in 7 of the last 10 seasons!
What exactly is going on at Texas which has plenty of talent but can’t seem to find a Head Coach that can win on any kind of consistent basis is a mystery to us and the current Head Coach Tom Herman is now sitting on records of >
Overall: 24 – 15
Big 12: 17 – 10
An even worse record is Herman’s W/L against FBS Teams with .500+ records…
10 – 8
This is Texas Football we are talking about here where the coaches should be able to roll the footballs out on the practice fields and the team would win 7 games a year with the players coaching themselves….and yet Herman has only won 7 games in 2 of his 3 seasons at the school!
Now with that 7 – 5 record Tom Herman and the Longhorns get to play Utah in the Alamo Bowl a team that just got whipped and embarrassed in the Pac-12 Title Game against Oregon and who will surely be Royally Pissed-Off when they get to San Antonio and will be looking to obliterate a Texas that looks Very Damn Obliteratable!
7 – 6 in Year 3 for Tom Herman would be nothing short of a Complete Disaster and set-up 2020 to be the season that will determine not only Herman’s future at Texas but his head coaching career Period!
2. Kevin Sumlin, Arizona – It’s not just that Kevin Sumlin is now sitting on records at Arizona of…
Overall: 9 – 15
Pac-12: 6 – 12
…but that the Wildcats under Sumlin really haven’t beat many decent teams at all with a record in 2 seasons against FBS Teams with .500+ records of…
2 – 15
….and that is nothing short of a football program on the brink of sinking into Total Oblivion with now very few people in Tucson that really even care about Arizona Football anymore.
Kevin Sumlin in our opinion has turned Arizona Football into an operation that exists for one reason and that is to serve his Massive Ego and if Arizona Football has to be taken down on the cross of the Great Kevin Sumlin then it will be taking down the AD at the school….Dave Heeke….cheering that taking down of the football program that he is supposed to be supervising…in our humble opinion.
In 2020 Arizona Football will be playing…
Hawaii Portland State At Texas Tech Arizona State Colorado Oregon Stanford USC At Oregon State At UCLA At Utah At Washington
That looks like another sub-500 record to us which will probably lead to Arizona AD Dave Heeke giving Kevin Sumlin an extension because if you are willing to tolerate a record of 2 – 15 against FBS Teams with .500+ records then do you even care about you’re the football program?
No…in our humble opinion.
3. Will Muschamp, South Carolina – It really is something that in your 51st game at a school like South Carolina that you can lose a game on your home field against your cross-state rival by…
35 Points
…and keep your job but that is what we have with Will Muschamp at South Carolina who has posted records at the school of…
Overall: 26 – 25
SEC: 15 – 17
….which isn’t very inspiring to us so how in the Hell could it be to anyone else in or around South Carolina and just take a look at what the Gamecocks are facing in 2020 >
Coastal Carolina East Carolina Missouri At Kentucky At Florida Tennessee Texas A&M At Vanderbilt Georgia At LSU Wofford At Clemson
We count at least 6 losses and only 2 for-sure wins and the 4 remaining games who knows and that’s the problem for Will Muschamp at South Carolina as he heads into his 5th at USC….
No one knows what is coming and that by itself is a Complete Disaster for the near and long-term future of South Carolina Football!
Oh….Will Muschamp just hired just fired Colorado State head coach Mike Bobo to be the new offensive coordinator at South Carolina and Bobo’s offense in 2019 finished at…wait for it…
The Bells of Doom just Keep On Ringing at South Carolina and what we need to do is to get someone to quit letting a Damn Fool to pull the ropes in Columbia! Yall folks gonna need to fire the bell ringer before any of this gets better!
4. Mark Dantonio, Michigan State – As they say in the game of golf as it relates to how good of a player you are…
“You are what you shoot!”
…and over the past 4 seasons Mark Dantonio hasn’t been much at all at Michigan State >
Overall: 26 – 24
Big Ten: 17 – 19
This is Michigan State Football we are talking about here where Bozo the Clown could win 7 games a year and over the past 4 seasons Dantonio has averaged….
6.5 Wins A Season
….and the real problem at Michigan State University isn’t so much Dantonio Totally Gutting Spartans Football on the back of his Massive Ego but that the Athletic Director and President at MSU are Gutless Cowards who don’t really care that Dantonio is Gutting Spartans Football and why would they since this is an institution that let Pure Damn Evil go on at their school for years with no one say a word so what’s allowing someone to GUT a football program?
Not really all that much by comparison!
Looking ahead to the 2020 Michigan State Football Schedule….
Northwestern At BYU Toledo Miami (FL) At Iowa Michigan Ohio State At Indiana Minnesota At Penn State Rutgers At Maryland
…that looks like another 7 win or worse season to us so the Bozo the Clown Football will continue in East Lansing for another season it seems and we will be right back here in the same spot a year from today with the Gutless Cowards still running things and accepting…
Total Damn Average and Worse Football!
5. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – We are talking about Vanderbilt when talking about Derek Mason which needs an Extraordinary Head Coach to post .500+ records every season…it can certainly be done…with an Extraordinary Head Coach but even a Good Head Coach can get Vandy to 6 wins in his 6th season on the job and yet Vandy in Mason’s 6th season on the job went…
3 – 9
That’s the problem at Vanderbilt…not so much that they are willing to accept Average Football with Mason’s records now at…
Overall: 27 – 47
SEC: 10 – 38
…but that they are willing to accept Way Damn Below Average Football in Mason’s 6th year on the job when the team should be getting…
Better Not Worse!
As anyone with a 2+ IQ we expect someone as they work in a job to get better at that job and when a coach has a football program going backwards as is the case with Mason at Vanderbilt right now you can either let it keep going backwards….Vandy’s choice…or go find someone who can start moving the thing FORWARD…not Vandy’s choice.
Be Happy Vandy Football Fans…Vanderbilt is choosing Going Backwards and that’s all you really need to know!
6. Scott Frost, Nebraska – To really put into perspective what a Total Damn Disaster Scott Frost’s first two seasons at Nebraska have been just look at the records of past Nebraska Head Football Coaches after two seasons going back to Tom Osborne >
Tom Osborne = 18 – 5 – 1 Frank Solich = 21 – 5 Bill Callahan = 13 – 10 Bo Pelini = 19 – 8 Mike Riley = 15 – 11
Scott Frost = 9 – 15
Really now….does anyone doubt that if Scott Frost’s name was Willie Taggart he would have already had his ass run out of Lincoln?
Didn’t think so and Nebraska AD Bill Moos can say all he wants about “staying the course” with Scott Frost but reality is Frost will coaching for his job in 2020 because if he cannot get it done in 3 full seasons then there’s no point to any of this and with that in mind let’s look at the Huskers 2020 schedule >
Purdue Central Michigan South Dakota State Cincinnati At Northwestern Illinois At Rutgers At Ohio State Penn State At Iowa At Wisconsin Minnesota
Barring a Massive Improvement by Nebraska between now and the 2020 season we see…
No Damn Way the Huskers get to 6 wins in 2020 and if they don’t the Scott Frost era will be OVER in Lincoln…and more than likely the Bill Moos era as well!
7. Randy Edsall, Connecticut – Randy Edsall has now been 3 seasons at UConn, the school he left in the middle of the night without saying goodbye to his players when taking the Maryland job in 2015, and in those 3 seasons Edsall has posted records of….
Overall: 6 – 30
AAC: 2 – 22
….which includes ZERO AAC Conference Wins the last 2 seasons and Edsall still has a job at UConn?
Anyone that can explain the above and mainly that Randy Edsall is still employed at UConn will be doing the Damn Impossible!
8. Manny Diaz, Miami – Manny Diaz took over a pretty decent Miami Football program from Mark Richt and promptly went…
6 – 6
….and….
4 – 4
…against FBS Teams with .500+ Records and this is Miami Football we are talking about here that finished the season with losses to….
Florida International – 6 – 6 record Duke – 5 – 7 record
…and the program reeling and headed to the Independence Bowl to play a La. Tech football team which will whip Miami’s ass if the Hurricanes are not prepared to play the bowl game!
Looking at the 2020 Miami schedule…
Temple Wagner UAB At Michigan State At Georgia Tech Duke Florida State North Carolina Pitt At Virginia At Virginia At Wake Forest
….in our opinion the Canes will have a tough time just getting to 6 wins in 2020 and Manny Diaz will be in the same spot a year from now that he is in today = Roaring Hot Seat!
9. Dana Holgorsen, Houston – We cannot imagine that the folks at Houston who just fired a coach in Major Applewhite who posted records of…
2017 = 7 – 5 2018 = 8 – 5
….and hired a coach in Dana Holgorsen who just posted in his first year on the job of…
4 – 8
…can be very happy but then things been going South for several years at Houston so maybe Holgo imploding in Year 1 wasn’t a surprise to the folks in H-Town!
Oh…Holgorsen’s record in 2019 against FBS Teams with .500 records was….
0 – 8
Yes…you got that right….Houston got it’s 4 wins against….
Prairie View A&M – FCS North Texas – 4 – 8 record UConn – 2 – 10 record Tulsa – 4 – 8 record
….so as bad as you think the 2019 season was for Dana Holgorsen and Houston…it was actually Much Damn Worse!
Looking at the 2020 Houston Football schedule….
Rice At Washington State North Texas At BYU At Cincinnati Tulane Tulsa UCF At Memphis At Navy At MSU USF
….that looks like it’s going to be Very Tough for Houston to get 6 wins in 2020 and will that acceptable at a place where University of Houston President Renu Khator once said….
“We fire coaches that don’t win 10 games!”
Really?
If so why is Dana Holgorsen still employed at the University of Houston Prez?
10. Chip Kelly, UCLA – Chip Kelly has now coached 2 seasons at UCLA and has posted records of….
2018 = 3 – 9 2019 = 4 – 8
Overall: 7 – 17
Pac-12: 7 – 11
…which certainly isn’t optimum but even worse is Kelly’s record against FBS Teams with .500+ records over two seasons….
A couple of Coaches Hot Seat members were in Tuscaloosa from last Thursday afternoon through Tuesday afternoon for the Ole Miss – Alabama football game and to interview a few University of Alabama Culverhouse College of Commerce which they report is a mighty Damn fine school of business and late last night after doing some poking around the Alabama football program also the last few days they filed what they called…
The State of Alabama Football
…report which is Damn fascinating reading that is most certainly NOT for public consumption since many of the conclusions would probably land our asses in court if we published them in the Coaches Hot Seat Blog but we can say in this spot that…
There is something rotten in the state of Tuscaloosa!
What exactly is going on with Alabama football right now and where is the Crimson Tide football program headed into the future?
Well…and these are our opinions here at Coaches Hot Seat mind you….BUT…the bottom-line conclusion of our folks on the ground in Tuscaloosa on The State of Alabama Football is…
Nick Saban overreacted to the “Kick 6” loss to Auburn at the end of the 2013 season which eventually led to Saban firing Bama offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier and to the hiring of Lane Kiffin under what we will call…
“Dubious and Pressured Circumstances and in many ways forced on Nick Saban by “a couple of folks” in the name of “saving Lane Kiffin” precious ass when Kiffin’s coaching career was going into the toilet where it rightly belonged then and belongs today!”
…..and now instead of Nick Saban spending his time as the head coach at Alabama and primarily working on the defensive side of the ball Saban now spends upwards of 50% of his time overseeing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and the Alabama offense.
In the opinion of the two Coaches Hot Seat members that spent several days in Tuscaloosa the once mighty Alabama offense which won three national titles for Nick Saban and was focused on controlling the ball, dominating the opposing team’s defense, and generally destroying the will of their opponents has now been “hollowed-out” by the implementation of Kiffin’s hurry-up spread offense that prizes showcasing Lane Kiffin’s precious ass and Little Damn Else!
In case anyone was wondering below is the definition of “hollowed-out” as an adjective, noun and verb according to dictionary.com:
Hollowed-Out adjective, hollower, hollowest. 1. having a space or cavity inside; not solid; empty: a hollow sphere. 2. having a depression or concavity: a hollow surface. 3. sunken, as the cheeks or eyes. 4. (of sound) not resonant; dull, muffled, or deep: a hollow voice. 5. without real or significant worth; meaningless: a hollow victory. 6. insincere or false: hollow compliments. 7. hungry; having an empty feeling: I feel absolutely hollow, so let’s eat. noun 8. an empty space within anything; a hole, depression, or cavity. 9. a valley: They took the sheep to graze in the hollow. 10. Foundry. a concavity connecting two surfaces otherwise intersecting at an obtuse angle. verb (used with object) 11. to make hollow (often followed by out): to hollow out a log. 12. to form by making something hollow (often followed by out): to hollow a place in the sand; boats hollowed out of logs.
Yep…that’s the Alabama offense under Lane Kiffin…
Freaking Hollowed-Out!
On a related note the two Coaches Hot Seat members got to see Nick Saban close-up and we mean close-up…within 10 feet…before the Ole Miss – Alabama game and they wrote in their report on The State of Alabama Football about the appearance of Nick Saban and the Alabama coaching staff:
“Nick Saban looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks if not months. The area below his eyes were very swollen suggesting severe fatigue and it looked as if Saban had aged 10 years since the last time we saw him close-up at the Oklahoma – Alabama Sugar Bowl game in January 2013.
There is a noticeable tension among the Alabama coaching staff with both the staff and players looking very nervous and not confident at all right before kick-off of the game against Ole Miss. The Alabama sideline and coaches were much more subdued in the game against Ole Miss compared to when we have seen Alabama in-person in the past, and it seems the coaches and players were taking cues from Nick Saban who seemed unhappy before the game, miserable during the game, and in a complete daze as the game ended. It almost seemed like the Alabama coaches and players came into the game expecting to lose to Ole Miss and that is exactly what happened in a real world case of what one feared most becoming reality.
We foresee changes to the Alabama coaching staff in the upcoming offseason with Lane Kiffin leaving soon after the season is over if not before and maybe Nick Saban leaving Alabama if the right head coaching job offer came along because it seems that Saban is miserable having to meet the never-ending expectations at Alabama where winning games and championships isn’t expected but rather a birthright given to Alabama by God himself. Nick Saban needs a new challenge for the last 7 to 10 years of his coaching career and trying to keep winning championships at Alabama where not winning a National Title every year is akin to insulating Bama fans across the globe doesn’t look like much fun which means we believe Nick Saban will either be working in television a year from now or coaching the Texas Longhorns.”
There is a Helluva lot more in the 14 page report including an entertaining section on just what in the Hell is wrong with the Alabama offense which his titled:
“How Lane Kiffin Destroyed A Championship Winning Offense in Two Years While Getting His Ass Kissed by the Media”
OK…enough on Alabama for now….because we will have a Helluva lot more to say about Nick Saban, Lane Kiffin, Paul Finebaum, Jimmy Sexton, and “Y Person” if Alabama loses to Georgia and lands all four of the above Bastards on the Hot Seat with an analysis of the Complete and Total Idiocy that led to Nick Saban hiring Lane Kiffin at Alabama which may just turn-out to be one of the Stupidest Decisions in the history of sports in America as Kiffin brings down one of the Great College Football Dynasties in the history of the game and for what…to save the coaching career of Lane Freaking Kiffin!
Oh, please let Georgia beat Alabama….although in our opinion…
Georgia is NOT MAN ENOUGH to beat Alabama!
Post Week 3 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings – 21 – 30 Hot Seat Coaches – Give ‘Em the Hell Johnny!
Come on down Johnny Cash because we have a few Coaches on the Hot Seat that love to hear you sing Ring of Fire…NOT REALLY!
21. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss Golden Eagles got a nice win over Texas State on the road on Saturday by the score of 56 – 50 which runs the USM record to 2 – 1 in 2015 and gives Monken’s team the opportunity to win a decent amount of games this season AND get Todd Monken off the Hot Seat!
In his third season at Southern Miss Todd Monken now has win/loss records of…
Overall: 6 – 21
CUSA: 2 – 14
….and a game at Nebraska this coming Saturday. Can Southern Miss possibly beat the Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln and in the process further turn up the heat on Mike Riley’s ass in the process?
Probably not…BUT…the goal for Todd Monken and Southern Miss is to get to 6 wins in 2015 and with 2 wins on the board all the Golden Eagles need now is 4 wins and out of their last 9 games and if Monken can’t accomplish that in his third season on the job then his ass deserves to be on the Hot Seat!
22. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and the Miami Hurricanes did their Damndest to give away the game to Nebraska on Saturday but in the end the Canes got the win in overtime and now it is on to Cincinnati for the 3 – 0 “U” which is a game that a Miami head coach in his FIFTH year on the job at Miami just flat-out CANNOT LOSE!
With Florida State up next Miami MUST beat Cincinnati on the road on October 1 as they look for the “9 to 10 wins” that Al Golden MUST have to remain the Hurricanes coach in 2016 and with these games left to play it’s easy to see why Cincinnati is a MUST WIN Game!
At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech Clemson At Duke Virginia At North Carolina Georgia Tech At Pitt
Damn…that’s a pretty tough schedule for Al Golden…but Hell this is “The U” we are talking about here so if the Canes beat Cincinnati we are expecting a….
10 – 2
…final regular season record at the worst!
Coach ‘Em Up Al Golden!
23. Craig Bohl, Wyoming – No one here at Coaches Hot Seat has yet figured out why Craig Bohl left powerhouse FCS program North Dakota State for FBS weakling Wyoming because it was our opinion that Bohl was in line for a BIG FBS job after all his success at NDSU which we thought might be Nebraska once Bo Pelini was run out of Lincoln which was always going to happen eventually….right? RIGHT!
Maybe Craig Bohl who played and coached for Tom Osborne at Nebraska got the word from the folks in Lincoln that he was never going to jump from North Dakota State to his alma mater BUT if we had been the AD at Nebraska we would have fired Bo Pelini a few years ago just to hire Craig Bohl BUT then what the Hell do we know compared to that Real Man of Genius now running Nebraska Athletics Shawn Eichorst who will be run out of Lincoln on a rail with his coaching hire Mike Riley if Riley doesn’t exceed Pelini’s winning ways in Lincoln…right? RIGHT!
Whatever is going on in Lincoln Craig Bohl in his second season at Wyoming is sitting on records of…
Overall: 4 – 11
MWC: 2 – 6
….and has started the 2015 season off at 0 – 3 which has put Bohl into a Helluva spot that he will only get out of by doing one thing…
Winning Football Games!
Here is what Wyoming has left to play this season…
At New Mexico At Appalachian State At Air Force Nevada At Boise State At Utah State Colorado State At San Diego State UNLV
…and if you can find 6 wins for Wyoming out of their remaining 9 games then you are either an Idiot or doing some serious Damn drugs!
Will Craig Bohl’s once promising coaching career end in the wide-open plains of Wyoming after pulling one of the strangest coaching career moves in history that rivals Paul Dietzel’s decision in 1961 to leave LSU for the Army job which also ended up as a Complete Freaking Disaster?
Maybe so.
24. Curtis Johnson, Tulane – Curtis Johnson and Tulane got their CUPCAKE win on Saturday over FCS Maine and now it’ss back to Not Really Big Boy Football after a bye week when Tulane hosts UCF which will probably be 0 – 4 once they get to New Orleans and in a Complete and Total Death Spiral under George O’Leary who it seems wants to be an AD more than he wants to be a Head Coach with his UCF football team reflecting that reality!
Very simply Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 and when we write Curtis Johnson needs some wins in 2015 we mean Curtis Johnson needs…
6 Wins in the Regular Season
….to get Tulane back to a bowl game and somewhat back in the conversation as a legitimate football program and if Tulane doesn’t get 6 wins in 2015 then a pretty decent job for an up-and-coming young football coach who loves eating good food will probably open up in the Great City of New Orleans come December.
Get some wins Curtis Johnson starting with a win over Hapless UCF on October 3 but until then enjoy New Orleans!
25. Dana Holgorsen, West Virginia – After starting 2 – 0 with wins over Georgia Southern and Liberty West Virginia had a bye week and now the football season actually begins with a MUST WIN Game against Maryland at home that Dana Holgorsen and the Mountaineers MUST WIN because they have a trip to Oklahoma on deck and being at 2 – 2 after four games would do nothing but turn the heat up on Holgorsen’s ass and make things very uncomfortable for Dana when Oklahoma State shows up in Morgantown on October 10.
BEAT Maryland and get off the Hot Seat for now Dana Holgorsen.
LOSE to Maryland and the Hot Seat just gets HOTTER Dana Holgorsen!
26. Paul Haynes, Kent State – Here’s the problem for Kent State head coach Paul Haynes:
Paul Haynes took over a Kent State football team that won 11 games in 2012 under Darrell Hazell and here are Kent State’s records the last two-plus seasons…
2013: 4 – 8 2014: 2 – 9 2015: 1 – 2
…and that is either a trend that Paul Haynes will reverse and quick in 2015 or Kent State will be looking for a new head football coach come December.
Now at 1 – 2 on the season after a nice game but yet another loss against Minnesota with the lone win coming over Delaware State…CUPCAKE….this season Kent State has left to play in 2015….
Marshall At Miami, Ohio At Toledo At UMass Bowling Green Buffalo At Ohio Central Michigan At Akron
…and we would recommend the Golden Flashes find 5 more wins out their last 9 games for their head football coach….just a friendly recommendation from the folks at Coaches Hot Seat!
27. Bob Davie, New Mexico – When Bob Davie was working as an analyst for ESPN he always said that he would run the type of offense he is now running at New Mexico which to us is a slight variation of the run option offense that both Davie and Lou Holtz ran at Notre Dame which to us is ugly as Hell but then we tend to favor the West Coast offense as created by the Late Great Bill Walsh which had a huge running component but hands down was and is the most beautiful football offense in the world when called, run and executed correctly.
Whatever type of offense Bob Davie is running at New Mexico the FACTS are Davie’s records in four seasons at the school now stand at…
“Either Bob Davie takes New Mexico to a bowl game this season or it’s over for Bob.”
That was pretty matter of fact and with the Lobos now at 1 – 2 on the season and these games remaining to be played….
At Wyoming New Mexico State At Nevada Hawaii At San Jose State Utah State At Boise State Colorado State Air Force
…if Davie can squeeze out 5 wins out of New Mexico’s last 9 games and get his team to a bowl game for the first time in his four years at UNM then he should get a few more seasons to get things right with the Lobos BUT Bob…that Damn offense son…it just looks like Hell!
28. Bobby Petrino, Louisville – The “What Ifs” on Bobby Petrino’s coaching career are a mile long BUT the one decision that stands out to us was Petrino’s decision to interview for the Auburn head coaching job after only being gone from Auburn for one season where he worked as the offensive coordinator for Tommy Tuberville the very coach that a few Auburn trustees and athletic director were working to run out of town only to be replaced by an assistant in Petrino that had just left the school. Since it was Tommy Tuberville that brought Bobby Petrino to Auburn from the NFL which was a move that in FACT led to Petrino getting the Louisville head coaching job if it had been any of us sitting in Petrino’s shoes and someone from Auburn called us about the Auburn head coaching job before Tommy Tuberville had even been fired the very first thing we would have done is call Tuberville….the man that helped Petrino out….and tell Tubbs that he was being undermined by a few Bastards at Auburn.
Instead Bobby Petrino took that call and met secretly with those Auburn Bastards which of course was leaked out to radio show host Paul Finebaum from the pilot or pilots of the plane that took those Auburn Bastards to Louisville for that secret meeting with Petrino and as they say the rest is history with that history being…
Tommy Tuberville keeping his job at Auburn
Bobby Petrino bolting for the Atlanta Falcons after telling everyone that would listen he would not be leaving Louisville
Bobby Petrino leaving the Atlanta Falcons for the Arkansas job before his first season was even completed
Bobby Petrino having his dalliance and motorcycle crash at Arkansas and then lying about it and getting his ass rightly fired in Fayetteville
Bobby Petrino getting the Western Kentucky job which he held for one season
Bobby Petrino getting re-hired at Louisville 8 years after he told anyone that would listen he would never be leaving Louisville
Hell, you truly could not make the above up but then the ONLY reason Bobby Petrino was re-hired at Louisville is because he wins football games…at least on the college level…but now the Cardinals are off to an 0 – 3 start after losses to Auburn, Houston and Clemson and they have these games still left to be played:
Samford At NC State At Florida State Boston College At Wake Forest Syracuse Virginia At Pitt At Kentucky
Can Bobby Petrino and Louisville find at least 6 wins out of their remaining 9 games and avoid a losing season in 2015 which Petrino has only posted one time before on the college level?
That is a hard question to answer but we can easily recall how much Bobby Petrino loved rubbing it in the faces of Kentucky football fans how much better the Louisville football program was than Kentucky during Petrino’s first Louisville stint and here’s to hoping Louisville is 5 – 6 when they play Kentucky in Lexington on November 28 and the Kentucky Wildcats…
BEAT THE LIVING HELL OUT OF BOBBY PETRINO AND THE LOUISVILLE CARDINALS!
….and Petrino getting a taste of his own Bullshit not that Bobby Petrino would give two rips because something like this would happen —>
Petrino’s agent is on the phone and there is an AD somewhere in America willing to sell out his soul to win a few football games and he is interested in talking to Bobby Petrino!
Our guess….Bobby Petrino would sell-out Louisville again telling anyone that would listen he would never be leaving the school moments before he walked out the door!
No…we don’t HATE Bobby Petrino like we HATED or rather HATE Charlie Weis but for Damn sure Bobby Petrino has a lot of Bullshit to atone for and here’s to hoping that a Helluva lot of that atoning happens to Bobby Petrino in 2015 and if it does we will take Great Joy in lighting up Petrino’s Sorry Ass!
29. Charlie Partridge, Florida Atlantic – Over the years a number of Coaches Hot Seat members have gotten to Boca Raton, Florida for business or vacation and we have met a number of the folks that support FAU athletics which in reality didn’t really exist when we first started going to Boca Raton years ago and it was the opinion of many here at Coaches Hot Seat which we expressed to our Boca Raton friends that Mike Leach who is now at Washington State but then was living Key West would have been an ideal head football coach at FAU. Mike Leach of course took the Washington State job which although a nice head coaching job doesn’t really fit “The Pirate” very well and our thinking was that Mike Leach would do well at FAU and then take one of the bigger jobs in the state of Florida like Miami, USF or UCF after few years at FAU but alas Leach went to the Northwest and FAU hired Charlie Partridge who although a nice guy and good football coach hasn’t done a Helluva lot in Boca Raton while posting records of…
Overall: 3 – 12
CUSA: 2 – 6
….in two years on the job at FAU.
Now with an 0 – 3 start to the 2015 season with losses to Tulsa, Miami and Buffalo (who has a first year head coach) FAU and Partridge face the daunting task of finding 6 wins in their last 9 games to get bowl eligible with this remaining schedule:
At Charlotte Rice Marshall At UTEP FIU At Western Kentucky Middle Tennessee At Florida At Old Dominion
Sorry…we just don’t see FAU winning 6 games in 2015 but then Charlie Partridge could prove us wrong now couldn’t he?
Coach ‘Em Up Charlie and if you don’t…..You Got It….Hot Seat!
30. Jeff Monken, Army – We don’t not like putting the head coaches of the US Military service academies on the Hot Seat but Jeff Monken in his second year at Army after a nice four-year run as the head coach at Georgia Southern has forced our hand by starting the 2015 season out at 0 – 3 in three closes losses to three pretty decent football teams but losses nonetheless.
Yes…playing winning football is not easy at a place like West Point but we are expecting a lot out of Jeff Monken at Army and now at 0 – 3 on the season with these games remaining to be played….
At Eastern Michigan At Penn State Duke Bucknell At Rice At Air Force Tulane Rutgers Navy
….it’s not going to be easy getting to 6 wins for Army this season but then it wasn’t easy on the US Army at the Battle of the Bulge either was it?
OK…let’s get to the Post Week 2 – 10 – 20 Hot Seat Coaches which means bringing in again the Late Great Johnny Cash!
11. Willie Taggart, South Florida – South Florida looked OK at times against Florida State on Saturday BUT the Seminoles didn’t look very motivated in that game in the first half which means it’s hard to judge USF’s effort in Tallahassee BUT that will not be the case this coming Saturday when South Florida plays a very beatable team in Maryland in College Park, MD with the Terps coming off an upset loss to Bowling Green.
With an overall record of…
7 – 19
….on the board in his third season at South Florida Willie Taggart needs some wins and as we look at the rest of USF’s schedule….
At Maryland Memphis Syracuse At UConn SMU At Navy At East Carolina Temple Cincinnati At UCF
…we see NO Damn reason why USF does not win at least 5 of their last 6 games and get bowl eligible in 2015!
We are sick of seeing you on the Hot Seat Willie Taggart so get off your ass and get your team ready to play and beat Maryland Willie!
12. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Todd Monken and his Southern Miss team got their CUPCAKE win over Austin Peay on Saturday by a score of 52 – 6 and now comes a HUGE football game for the future of Monken in Hattiesburg as the Golden Eagles travel on the road to play Texas State which is a game that USM should win based upon the history of both of these football programs. With a game at Nebraska lined-up for Week 4 a win against Texas State is a MUST for Todd Monken and Southern Miss in Week 3 and a loss in this spot will just mean….
The Heat will just get HOTTER for Todd Monken!
13. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and his Miami Hurricanes got the win they had to have over Florida Atlantic last Friday night and now the REAL football season and a very tough schedule begins for the Canes in a run of games that will determine Al Golden’s future in South Florida.
Check-out Miami’s remaining schedule with the Canes now sitting at 2 – 0:
Nebraska At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech Clemson At Duke Virginia At North Carolina Georgia Tech At Pitt
Our contacts in South Florida who admittedly aren’t exactly tied into the Miami football program since they live in West Palm Beach and Jupiter, Florida and play professional golf for a living tell us that anything less than…
9 Wins in 2015
…and Al Golden is DONE at Miami which means Al Golden needs his Miami team to win 7 of their last 10 games and since this is Miami we are talking about here IF Al Golden can’t get that 9 wins he should be DONE in Coral Gables!
14. Trent Miles, Georgia State – In a match-up of two of the worst teams in FBS college football a hearty Congratulations are in order to Trent Miles on the Georgia State football team with a win over a Pitiful New Mexico State team on Saturday! Here’s the BAD news for Trent Miles and Georgia State…..their next game is…
At Oregon!
This is Trent Miles third season at Georgia State and we are looking for a “jump” of some kind over the ONE game that GSU won in Miles first two seasons at GSU and with these games remaining to be played…..
At Oregon Liberty Appalachian State At Ball State2 At Arkansas State La – Lafayette At Texas State South Alabama Troy At Georgia Southern
…we see No Damn Reason at all why Georgia State doesn’t win FOUR-plus games in 2015 and with that we can only say to Trent Miles…
Good Luck against the Ducks!
15. Charlie Strong, Texas – Charlie Strong’s Texas Longhorns beat Rice on Saturday by a score of…
42 – 28
….which in most of the last glorious 100-plus years of Texas football would have meant about as much as a tumble weed blowing through the west Texas plains and now we get back to football for the Horns with a decent Cal team traveling to Austin in what is clearly…
The Biggest Game of Charlie Strong’s Coaching Career!
IF Texas does lose to Cal on Saturday and drops to 1 – 2 in non-conference play with the Big 12 Conference schedule beginning a week later with a game against Oklahoma State there is a very good chance that Texas does NOT get to 6 wins in 2015 and if that happens then about ANYTHING could happen in Austin come December including Charlie Strong being written a BIG check to go find something else to do with his life on this Earth.
On a somewhat related subject Scout.com’s Chip Brown is continuing to do some great reporting on the Complete Freaking Disaster that has been Texas athletic director Steve Patterson’s tenure in Austin….
As for who should be the next AD at Texas we know someone who would be a GREAT and Helluva AD for Texas especially in the Disaster that Steve Patterson has created in Austin and although we are hesitant to nominate this sitting AD for the Texas job because we don’t want to hurt his chances BUT if we were running the University of Texas we would be hiring as new Texas AD….
Arizona AD Greg Byrne
Memo to Univ. of Texas President Gregory Fenves: Fire Steve Patterson’s Sorry Ass already and hire Greg Byrne already to lead the Texas athletic department!
16. Ron Caragher, San Jose State – With a loss to Air Force in Colorado Springs on Saturday Ron Caragher’s San Jose State team dropped to 1 – 1 on the year and Caragher’s win/loss records at SJSU in three years at the school now stand at:
Overall: 10 – 16
MWC: 7 – 10
Sorry…the above win/loss records are NOT going to get the job done even at San Jose State and from what we have heard from the San Jose area Ron Caragher needs 6 wins in 2015 to return as the head coach of the Spartans in 2016 and with this schedule remaining…
At Oregon State Fresno State At Auburn At UNLV San Diego State New Mexico BYU At Nevada At Hawaii Boise State
….we see No Damn Reason at all why San Jose State shouldn’t be able to win….
5 of their last 10 games
…and with that in mind get to work Ron Caragher!
17. Norm Chow, Hawaii – No one thought that Hawaii had any chance to beat Ohio State in Columbus BUT we did expect the Warriors to at least put a few points up on the board instead of a big fat ZERO and now returning home Norm Chow needs to regroup his team and make sure they get win over FCS team UC Davis this coming Saturday.
With NO winning seasons in his first three years on the job at Hawaii Norm Chow REALLY needs to lead the Warriors to a bowl game in 2015 and that means Chow needs to find 6 more wins out of their remaining 11 games:
UC Davis At Wisconsin At Boise State San Diego State At New Mexico At Nevada Air Force At UNLV Fresno State San Jose State La. Monroe
Hell, if Norm Chow and Hawaii can’t win 6 of their last 11 games then why in the Hell would Norm Chow remain the head coach at Hawaii?
There is no good answer to the above question!
18. George O’Leary, UCF – Several Coaches Hot Seat members got to see UCF play Stanford in person on Saturday night on The Farm and their impression of UCF was….
UCF is mediocre at best and hardly even coached at worst!
Oh, but the above makes Perfect Damn Sense with UCF head coach George O’Leary worrying about coming the permanent AD at UCF instead of coaching his football team and No Damn Surprise UCF has started the 2015 season off at…
0 – 2
….with losses to FIU and Stanford and now UCF gets a CUPCAKE game against Furman before playing in a…
Hot Seat Coach vs. Hot Seat Coach
….match-up in Columbia, South Carolina with O’Leary facing off against the increasingly embattled Old Ball Coach…YEP Old Ball Coach….Steve Spurrier!
Who loses when UCF plays South Carolina in two weeks or so?
The poor folks who are the stadium is who loses when UCF plays South Carolina on September 26 in Columbia!
19. Steve Spurrier, South Carolina – South Carolina looked very Damn average against North Carolina in Week 1 and in Week 2 the Gamecocks looked totally out-of-sorts at times against Kentucky and even worse Steve Spurrier…
Looked Old
….which brings to mind The Byrds song from when Steve Spurrier was still a student and football player at the University of Florida…
Turn, Turn, Turn
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
Readers of the Bible…not Donald Trump for Damn sure…will recognize the lyrics of Turn, Turn, Turn which are almost verbatim from the Book of Ecclesiastes verse 3 1 – 8 and the TRUTH is barring a major miracle Steve Spurrier’s legendary coaching career is OVER and that TRUTH could be displayed for everyone to see with South Carolina traveling to Athens on Saturday to play the Georgia Bulldogs.
No doubt Mark Richt will not run-up the score on the Old Ball Coach if things get out-of-hand in Athens on Saturday night and for Damn sure Steve Spurrier will know full-well or not if Mark Richt is taking it easy against his old foe and that reality will kill the Old Ball Coach worse than anything else in the world!
20. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame – Even before starting Notre Dame quarterback Malik Zaire got hurt the Hapless Virginia Cavaliers had the Irish on the ropes and if not for yet another Total Collapse of UVA football under Mike London it would be Brian Kelly sitting on one of the Hottest Seats in the country right now which is truly another episode of the Luck of the Irish with this “Luck” being Totally Incompetent Coaching by Notre Dame’s opponent!
Up next for Notre Dame…
Georgia Tech at home and we await to see what kind of “Luck” the Irish will get this week to beat the Yellow Jackets because no doubt Paul Johnson will do something STUPID as well to give away this game to the Irish!
Let’s take a quick look at Notre Dame’s remaining schedule and guess how many wins the Irish will have in 2015 now sitting at 2 – 0:
Georgia Tech UMass At Clemson Navy USC At Temple At Pitt Wake Forest Boston College At Stanford
Our guess…Notre Dame wins EIGHT games in 2015 and if the Irish only win EIGHT games in 2015 Brian Kelly WILL BE FIRED shortly after the Stanford game on November 28….PERIOD…and a sitting NFL coach who happens to be Catholic will be the next head football coach of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish.
There are just a few reasons why a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and by far the main reason a coach finds his ass on the Hot Seat is…
He did not win enough football games!
But…there are other reasons a college football head coach will end up on the Hot Seat and two of those reasons that we have had to account for in recent years have been…
1. A Head Coach like Charlie Weis who in our opinion did not give a Damn about coaching the Kansas football team in the proper way which also makes Charlie Weis a Sorry Excuse for a Human Being….with that being the opinion of EVERY American here at Coaches Hot Seat
AND
2. Coaching like a Scared Coward which is how four SEC head coaches coached their teams on Saturday….
Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina Gus Malzhan, Auburn
….with three of the above COWARD COACHES now finding their precious and COWARDLY asses on the Hot Seat for their COWARDLY behavior because they lost their games and Auburn head coach Gus Malzhan now just one loss away from finding his ass on the Hot Seat with Auburn playing at LSU this coming Saturday! Besides coaching in a COWARDLY way which clearly in our opinion ALL FOUR of the above SEC head coaches did on Saturday what really pisses us off here at Coaches Hot Seat is when head coaches who have guaranteed contracts that will pay them Millions of Dollars whether they win or lose so they will never have to work a day the rest of their lives…
Still Coach like COWARDS!
It was just Shameful and a Disgrace to the American Republic forget about an embarrassment to the SEC that head coaches…
Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina Gus Malzahn, Auburn
….were on Saturday…just so Damn SHAMEFUL!
We will get more into the COWARDLY behavior of head coaches….
Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina
…in the Post Week 2 Coaches Hot Seat Rankings Analysis BUT is it just us here at Coaches Hot Seat or is everyone else thinking the same thing?
The Southeastern Conference reached its PEAK at the same time that Paul Finebaum was negotiating the contract for his book in New York City in the spring of 2013 for what eventually became this….
….and after the past two college football seasons and especially this past weekend has become what historians will mark as the Beginning of the End of the SEC? Of course, anyone that knows Paul Finebaum knows that Paul has a stellar record of latching onto public figures just before they are sent off to prison so Finebaum signaling the end of the SEC with his Idiotic book would not only be the MOST right thing in the world it would make a Helluva lot of sense also!
Let’s bring out the Man in Black to…
Give These Hot Seat Coaches Holy Hell Johnny Cash!
1. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – Cyclones head coach Paul Rhoads is on a pretty bad run of late and the loss to Iowa over the weekend on Iowa State’s home field by a score of…
31 – 17
….didn’t help matters and just by comparison over Paul Rhoads last 26 games coaching ISU he has posted a record of….
6 – 20
…and the previous head coach at Iowa State Dan McCarney posted a record over his last 26 games at ISU of…
12 – 14
….and also by comparison puts the winning percentages of Rhoads and McCarney at…
.231 for Paul Rhoads in last 26 games at ISU
.462 for Dan McCarney in last 26 games at ISU
Sorry, but Paul Rhoads can be the nicest and hardest working guy in the world and by all accounts we have heard he is both BUT we caught some of the Iowa – Iowa State game on Saturday and to put it bluntly…..
Iowa State DOES NOT look like a very well coached football team right now…PERIOD.
Oh….up next for Iowa State…
At Toledo which just beat Arkansas in Fayetteville!
Good Luck with that Paul and here’s a tip…don’t complain this week like some kind of LOSER about Ohio State’s schedule when you have a team to get ready to play Toledo!
2. Mike London, Virginia – Mike London’s Virginia football team had Notre Dame right where they wanted the Irish on Saturday…
Up by a point with just a few minutes to play with the Irish starting QB out and a back-up QB in for Notre Dame that had hardly played at all in a meaningful live college football game
….and how exactly did Mike London’s Virginia team find a way to lose this time around?
By allowing that back-up QB that had next to no experience throw a ball to a receiver that was allowed to get behind a defensive back for some reason which ended up with a touchdown!
Geez…you really cannot make-up some of the stuff that has happened to Virginia football in recent years BUT this loss to Notre Dame takes the cake, the pie and every Damn dessert in the kitchen and with that loss London’s record at UVA dropped to…
Overall: 23 – 40
ACC: 11 – 29
…over the last six seasons which is bad from whatever direction one looks at those records.
Up next for Virginia…
William & Mary Boise State At Pitt
Our recommendation to Mike London = WIN all three of those games son!
3. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Oh, you thought it was a big deal that the Florida Gators beat New Mexico State 61 – 13 on Week 1?
Uhhhh….NOT….because Georgia State which had won ONE football game the last two seasons just beat New Mexico State on their home field!
This is Doug Martin’s third season as the head coach at New Mexico State and his record at NMSU now stands at:
Overall: 4 – 22
Enough said on the Hot Seat situation at NMSU!
4. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – Darrell Hazell and the Purdue Boilermakers got their first win of the 2015 season over Indiana State on Saturday which means about as much as a grizzly bear crapping in the woods of Yellowstone National Park meaning it means NOTHING AT ALL!
The 2015 college football season begins again for Darrell Hazell and the Boilermakers on Saturday with Virginia Tech coming to town and this is a game in our opinion that….
Purdue Should Win
….IF Purdue plays with the same intensity that they played with against Marshall in Week 1.
In the “Just By Comparison” department Darrell Hazell has now been the head coach at Purdue for 26 games and his win/loss record stands at…
5 – 21
….and the coach he replaced at Purdue who was fired and run out-of-town posted a record in his first 26 games at Purdue of….
10 – 16
….which should tell everyone that is paying attention why exactly Darrell Hazell is on the Hot Seat!
5. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – Vanderbilt looked OK at times against Georgia on Saturday but in the end a loss to the Dawgs by a score of…
31 – 14
…..leaves Derek Mason’s win/loss record in his second season at Vandy now at….
3 – 11
…and let’s hope Mason’s record after this coming Saturday’s game against Austin Peay is…
4 – 11
….or Mason might not make it as head coach at Vandy to the Ole Miss game in Oxford on September 26!
Looking over the rest of Vanderbilt’s 2015 schedule…
Austin Peay At Ole Miss At Middle Tennessee At South Carolina Missouri At Houston At Florida Kentucky Texas A&M At Tennessee
….if Vandy improves just a little bit more as the season progresses MAYBE the Commodores can win…
4 Games in 2015
….which would be an improvement by ONE win over 2014 and would give Mason one more year in Nashville to get Vandy back to their “James Franklin-years” winning ways and with that Derek Mason now has his goal for 2015….
4 Wins!
Coach ‘Em Up Derek!
6. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Kevin Wilson and the Indiana Hoosiers beat Florida International on Saturday by the score of 36 – 22 and when one considers that FIU had won….
6 Games
…the last three seasons combined Indiana beating FIU meant about as much as a wild pig finding an acorn in Alabama which means that win over FIU means NOTHING AT ALL!
Up next for Kevin Wilson and Indiana….a very tough Western Kentucky team that is very simply a…
CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson and the Hoosiers but especially a CANNOT LOSE game for Kevin Wilson!
7. Paul Petrino, Idaho – In Week 2 Paul Petrino’s Idaho team lost to USC in Los Angeles by a score of…
59 – 9
….and with that loss Petrino’s win/loss record at Idaho now stands at….
2 – 23
…..which is a winning percentage of…
.080%
….and the last Idaho head coach Robb Akey got fired at Idaho after posting a winning percentage of…
.286%
…over 6 seasons and thus why Paul Petrino is clearly on the Hot Seat!
Up next for Idaho….
Wofford!
OK…this should be a WIN for sure for Paul Petrino and the Vandals!
8. Ron Turner, Florida International – After seeing in person an average Stanford team made of balsa wood whip UCF on Saturday night we now understand how FIU beat UCF in Week 1 and thus it was no surprise to us that an average Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday.
FIU has won…
6 Games
…in three seasons under Ron Turner and FIU should get its SEVENTH win under Ron Turner on Saturday when they play
NC Central
….not that anyone here at Coaches Hot Seat has a Damn clue who in the Hell NC Central is!
We do know that Ron Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat whether Dave Wannstedt of Fox Sports thinks Turner’s ass is on the Hot Seat or not!
Memo to Dave Wannstedt: Ron Turner’s precious ass is on the Hot Seat and FIU beating UCF in Week 1 was No Damn Big Deal!
9. Butch Jones, Tennessee – The two Coaches Hot Seat members that traveled to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game saw the same thing that the other 100-plus Coaches Hot Seat members saw watching the Sooners – Vols game on TV and that was….
Tennessee head coach Butch Jones had the Sooners on the ropes for much of the game and if not for COACHING LIKE A COWARD and COACHING NOT TO LOSE the Vols could have delivered the knockout punch to Oklahoma many times in the game and when you COACH LIKE A COWARD your precious ass ends up on the Hot Seat and that is where Butch Jones finds his precious ass on this Monday morning!
Oh by the way….below are Butch Jones win/loss records at Tennessee which make a Helluva lot more sense now after seeing him COACH LIKE A COWARD in the Oklahoma game:
Overall: 13 – 14
SEC: 5 – 11
Sorry Butch Jones…we don’t give a Damn if you inherited a wreck of a football program from the combo of Lane Kiffin and Derek Dooley because IF you are going to the head coach at Tennessee and a head coach in the SEC you first and most importantly must…
NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD!
As Coaches Hot Seat members discussed the outcome of the Oklahoma – Tennessee game on Saturday night after watching a day of college football and that Badass Madison Bumgarner almost throw a perfect game against the San Diego Padres two things were mentioned the most about Butch Jones’ coaching performance against Oklahoma:
1. Butch Jones COACHED LIKE A COWARD and in many ways COACHED SCARED against Oklahoma on Saturday
AND
2. Butch Jones clearly DOES NOT trust his quarterback Joshua Dobbs because there were numerous instances in the first and second half of the game against the Sooners where Butch Jones and his new and OLD offensive coordinator could have unleashed Dobbs on OU and put the game out of reach of the Sooners BUT Butch Jones didn’t do that which brings to mind a quote from the Great Bill Walsh on quarterbacks that one of us heard Coach Walsh say a Helluva long time ago:
Bill Walsh: “If you don’t trust your quarterback to make plays and decisions on the field then you don’t have a quarterback and you don’t have a leader. A head coach must prepare his starting quarterback to the best of his ability and then trust his quarterback on gameday. To do anything but that would lead me to believe that a team either has the wrong head coach or wrong quarterback….or both. A head coach must trust his quarterback because that trust is fundamental to playing winning football.”
YES….we miss Coach Walsh and YES there are dozens of college football head coaches across America that DO NOT TRUST their quarterback and SHAME on them for that idiocy!
Sorry Butch Jones BUT it was YOU that cost the Tennessee Vols that game against Oklahoma because very simply Butch Jones you…
COACHED LIKE A COWARD….PERIOD.
Up next for Tennessee…
Western Carolina
…which is a SURE win and then COWARD Butch Jones and the Vols play…
At Florida
…and we would recommend that Butch Jones NOT COACH LIKE A COWARD against the Florida Gators because if the Vols lose to the Gators again….
Your ass Butch Jones and thus YOU will find yourself on the Face of the Sun!
10. Bret Bielema, Arkansas – A few Coaches Hot Seat members had been watching a tape of the Toledo – Arkansas game on Sunday and after watching things for awhile someone said check the box score on the game for Arkansas and after doing that what about these numbers for the Hogs offense?
Arkansas ran the ball 31 times for 103 yards
Arkansas threw the ball 53 times completing 32 for 412 yards
What in the Freaking Hell Bret Bielema?
So the working theory in Fayetteville must be that Arkansas can run the ball against SEC West teams but not a team from the MAC Conference? Is that right Bret Bielema who seemed in the last week very Damn concerned about Ohio State’s schedule and not the Hogs opponent which just whipped your team’s ass in Little Rock Bret and landed your ass back on the Hot Seat in the process!
YES…like Butch Jones…Bret Bielema COACHED LIKE A COWARD on Saturday but it was a different kind of COWARDICE that Bielema brought out against the Toledo Rockets….it was COWARDICE plus STUPIDITY because if Arkansas had not panicked and had just ran the ball down Toledo’s throat instead of throwing the ball all over the lot they could have won by two touchdowns but instead like in Knoxville and in Columbia…
COWARDLY behavior by the head coach won the day
….and with that COWARDICE the SEC now has FIVE head coaches on the Hot Seat….
Derek Mason, Vanderbilt Butch Jones, Tennessee Bret Bielema, Arkansas Steve Spurrier, South Carolina Les Miles, LSU
….and if the COWARDLY coaching continues at least three of the above head coaches will NOT be coaching their teams in 2016!
Memo to Bret Bielema: This week Bret focus on getting your football team ready to play against Texas Tech because in case you didn’t know it your win/loss records at Arkansas of…
Overall: 11 – 16
SEC: 2 – 14
….are NOT the records that should lead to a head coach popping-off about ANYTHING relative to other football teams around the country especially the Defending National Champions in Ohio State which BEAT Alabama in the Semi-Final Playoff Game in case you forgot Bret!
Oh….lose to Texas Tech Bielema and your ass will be like the Persian Gulf region the last time a dozen or so Coaches Hot Seat members were in it during the spring and summer of 1991 for Desert Storm which was….
We are introducing a new feature at Coaches Hot Seat for the 2015 football season and beyond…the….
10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week “X”
…..and to introduce this feature we will use a song from the 1970s Super Band Steely Dan…
Deacon Blues
“They got a name for the winners in the world….I want a name when I lose…they call Alabama the Crimson Tide….call me Deacon Blues…Deacon Blues.”
Enjoy the GREAT Steely Dan singing Deacon Blues!
10 College Football Head Coaches That CANNOT LOSE In Week 2
1. Kevin Wilson, Indiana vs. FIU – After the close 1-point win over FCS team Southern Illinois in Week 1 there is just no way in Hell that Kevin Wilson’s Hoosiers can lose to FIU at home this week because a loss in this spot to a pitiful team from South Florida…
No…not the Miami Hurricanes
…would send Wilson’s ass into a part of the Universe that is Hotter than our Sun and last time we checked the Sun is pretty Damn HOT!
2. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State vs. Iowa – In Paul Rhoads last 25 games at Iowa State his Cyclones have posted the downright startling and depressing win/loss record of…
5 – 20
….and rightly so Paul Rhoads’ ass is now hotter than that coffee that some Idiot spilled on himself and sued McDonald’s about years ago and won BIG which we seem to recall was Pretty, Pretty Hot Coffee which means a loss in this spot to the Iowa Hawkeyes and fellow Hot Seat coach Kirk Ferentz would be nothing short of a…
Complete Freaking Disaster!
3. Kirk Ferentz, Iowa vs. Iowa State – Consider this in the Total Disaster that Iowa Football has become in recent years under the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz:
In Iowa’s last 40 games the $4 Million Dollar Per Year Man Kirk Ferentz has posted a win/loss record of…
20 – 20!
That’s right the University of Iowa….or rather the fans of Iowa Football and in many ways collectively college football fans across America that watch all of these college football games on TV have collectively paid Kirk Ferentz over the past four football seasons something on the order of….
$15 Million Dollars
….for 20 Stinking Wins which works out to the amazing number…
$750,000 Per Freaking Win!
Seriously…you CANNOT make this kind of stuff up and thus why Kirk Ferentz and his Iowa Hawkeyes CANNOT lose to Iowa State on Saturday because if they do the above number goes up to….
$800,000 Per Freaking Win!
Hell, if Kirk Ferentz keeps up this Mediocre Football at Iowa by the end of the 2015 college football season he could be getting paid something on the order of…
$1,000,000 Per Freaking Win!
…and that’s good money IF you can find people STUPID enough to pay that kind of money for MEDIOCRITY which Kirk Ferentz has found in the state of Iowa IN SPADES!
4. Charlie Strong, Texas vs. Rice – Anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog over the past EIGHT college football seasons knows that we have some good fishing and hunting buddies in the Austin, Texas area who are Texas grads and love showing us “City Boys” what life is like in the Republic of Texas while hunting and fishing and every so often we haul those “Texas Boys” up to Montana to show them what life is like when you really go into backcountry where the trout are large and the grizzly bears will eat your ass if you are not careful!
Getting back to the subject at hand which is….
The Rolling and Raging On Fire Wagon Train
…that is now Texas football we asked our Austin fishing and hunting buddies what the temperature was down in Texas relative to Charlie Strong and Texas football and their replay was…
“Let’s just say that if Texas loses to Rice on Saturday night Charlie Strong’s house could be on the market and sold before the Horns play Cal the next Saturday!”
Uhhhhh….we would call that the temperature of some wings we used to eat at a chicken wing place in Jacksonville Beach, Florida when a few of us were serving in the US Navy that were the Hottest Damn Wings we have ever put in our mouths and the very simple one word name for those wings was:
This is very simple….Charlie Strong and Texas CANNOT lose to Rice on Saturday night…PERIOD.
5. Al Golden, Miami vs. FAU – If there is ONE coach in college football that knows he MUST produce in 2015 meaning win a Helluva lot of football games it is Miami’s head coach Al Golden and in Week 2 Golden and his Hurricanes play Florida Atlantic on Friday night and a loss in this spot with these SIX games up next…
Nebraska At Cincinnati At Florida State Virginia Tech At Clemson At Duke
…would be nothing short of a Complete Freaking Disaster and send Al Golden’s ass onto the face of an O Class Star which in case you didn’t know…
Is One Helluva Hot Place for your ass to be sitting on!
6. Les Miles, LSU vs. Mississippi State – We don’t have any fishing and hunting buddies in the state of Louisiana but we have heard that if LSU loses to Mississippi State on Saturday night that Les Miles will not be traveling back to Baton Rouge with the LSU football team but will instead be taken immediately to Cape Kennedy in Florida where several influential LSU boosters have arranged to have Les Miles and his ass launched on a NASA rocket to…
Calvera the closest neutron star to Earth which is approximately 250 to 1000 light-years from Earth
….which it will take The Mad Hatter several million years to reach and we have also heard that in order to really stick-it-to Les Miles during the entire trip to Calvera those LSU boosters have arranged it so Les Miles will be forced watch a continuous loop replay of the January 2011 BCS Title Game loss to Alabama which most agree was the…
Boringest College Football Game of All Time!
Memo to Les Miles: Don’t Lose to Mississippi State!
7. David Shaw, Stanford vs. UCF – A few Coaches Hot Seat members were on a conference call this week with a “non-athletic related contact” of ours on the Stanford campus who keeps his ears to the ground for us on The Farm since we have to work for a living and cannot hang around the Stanford Athletic Complex and whip the football team into shape which this Stanford football team needs desperately and our “non-athletic related contact” at Stanford said something very Damn interesting on our weekly conference call:
“If Stanford loses to UCF on Saturday there is a very good chance that Stanford doesn’t win 6 games this season because of how fragile and weak this team is and how tough the remaining schedule is.”
Hmmmm….this Stanford football team is “fragile and weak?”
Yep…that was our opinion of the Stanford football team we saw in August on The Farm although our term of…
Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses
…for this the 2015 Stanford football team seems to be a little more on the nose to us!
Let’s look at Stanford’s remaining games in 2015
UCF At USC At Oregon State Arizona UCLA Washington At Washington State At Colorado Oregon California Notre Dame
Yep…if Stanford cannot beat UCF which just lost to FIU on their home field then…
There is NO WAY IN HELL that Stanford gets close to 6 wins this season which would further validate what we have seen happen in recent years that has turned the once Very Damn Tough Stanford Football Program into the…
Balsa Wood Stanford Candy Asses
…that will fold-up like a cheap tent bought from Wal-Mart if even the slightest gust of wind hits the campground on The Farm in this case!
YES….UCF is a CANNOT lose game for Stanford head coach David Shaw but then when the cake has already been mixed and baked there isn’t a Helluva lot that one can do to that cake once it is sitting on the counter of the kitchen!
8. Mike Leach, Washington State vs. Rutgers – With Washington State about to look down the pipe of NINE Pac-12 Conference Games that will ALL be very difficult wins for the Cougars if there is a game that Mike Leach and his WSU football team needs to win it is this Saturday’s game against Rutgers because a loss in this spot to fall to 0 – 2 on the season and it will next to impossible for Washington State to get to 6 wins in 2015 and that would make…
Three Out of Four Losing Seasons for Mike Leach at Washington State
YES…beating Rutgers is CRITICAL for Mike Leach and the Cougs!
9. Bob Stoops, Oklahoma vs. Tennessee – There is no doubt in our minds that Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops would like to get the Sooners back into the running for a National Championship before he is politely told that his services are no longer needed in Norman since being just a little better than average is eventually not going to cut it at OU even for Bob Stoops, BUT when you talk to people around Norman and we mean folks that have some insight….not total insight but some insight….into what is going on the feeling that used to pervade Oklahoma football under Stoops….
That Dammit We ARE Going To Win Big 12 Championships and National Titles or Die Trying
….just NO LONGER EXISTS in Norman and there in a nutshell is what is wrong with OU football.
We are always coming up with new ways to rank college football head coaches here at Coaches Hot Seat and one way we came up with this past Summer was the “Hungry Meter” meaning on a 1 to 10 scale how “Hungry” is EVERY college football head coach to win Games, Championships and National Titles either at his current school or a bigger school if a great job opportunity presented itself. We have been tossing around the idea of publishing our opinion on the “Hungry Level” for each college football head coach BUT it is such a subjective opinion based on admitted less-than-perfect information we have held it back….so far.…BUT we will tell you of what “Hungry Level” we have OU head coach Bob Stoops at on a 1 to 10 scale to win Games, Championships and a National Title with the Sooners which is of course just our opinion:
Bob Stoops was a “10” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2001 to 2008
Bob Stoops was a “9” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2009 to 2011
Bob Stoops was an “8” on the “Hungry Meter” from 2012 to 2014
Bob Stoops current rating on the “Hungry Meter” = 7.8
In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat ANY college football head coach who has a rating of less than “9.5” on the Coaches Hot Seat “Hungry Meter” in today’s incredibly Damn competitive college football landscape has NO DAMN CHANCE to win a Conference Championships and National Titles.
Two Coaches Hot Seat members will be traveling up from Atlanta to Knoxville on Saturday for the Oklahoma – Tennessee game and they will report back on what they see from Bob Stoops and the Sooners….and our guess is….OU loses to Tennessee and ends up with 7 or 8 wins on the season and Bob Stoops is DONE at Oklahoma come December either in reality meaning no longer the head coach at OU or just a coach going through the motions hauling down millions of dollars a year for “X” number of years into the future.
Just our opinion.
10. Brian Kelly, Notre Dame vs. Virginia – Of course both Brian Kelly and Virginia head coach Mike London BADLY need a win in this spot BUT this is a game that Brian Kelly CANNOT lose after the Week 1 crushing of the Hapless Texas Longhorns that are still the Texas Longhorns even though they are now Hapless with a Capital “H” under Charlie Strong! With Georgia Tech coming to South Bend a week from Saturday a loss in this spot will not only dash the hopes of Irish faithful all over the country but would set-up the biggest game of Brian Kelly’s career at Notre Dame because a loss to Virginia followed by a loss to the Yellow Jackets at home would more than likely be a irreversible stake into Kelly’s future unless the Irish ran the table the rest of the way and there CANNOT be a Human Being alive on the Earth that believes the Irish could pull that off!
Our guess….Notre Dame whips Virginia just as UCLA did in Week 1….BUT if the Irish flop-around and lose this game to the Cavaliers Brian Kelly might as well travel on down to Cape Kennedy and get on that rocket with Les Miles that is headed to the closest neutron star because South Bend will be a terrible place to be next week even if Kelly will have to watch along with Miles a continuous loop of the 2011 BCS Title Game between LSU and Alabama which thankfully for ALL college football games was So Damn Boring it gave us the College Football Playoff!
If you don’t think time flies this is the NINTH college football season that Coaches Hot Seat will be…what exactly?
Throwing out our opinions from the peanut gallery on the job status of college and now NFL head coaches and generally being the all-around “Shit-Disturbers” that our wives love so much?
Yep…that’s about it and to think this entire Coaches Hot Seat “thing” started with seven guys sitting around a table in the bar the Balboa Café in the Marina section of San Francisco in the Fall of 2006 talking about how in the Hell they were going to get Walt Harris’ sorry ass fired as the head coach of the Stanford football team!
Hell, let’s end this trip down memory lane and get to the subject at hand which is what College Football Head Coaches are on the Hot Seat at the end of Week 1 of the 2015 College Football season! Geez…that felt very Damn good to type that out and with the memories of Week 1 dancing in the heads of Coaches Hot Seat members and college football fans everywhere let’s bring the Late Great Johnny Cash to get things rolling!
1. Darrell Hazell, Purdue – No doubt…Purdue played very hard against a very good Marshall team on Sunday…BUT…is anyone going to argue that a coach in his third season coaching a Big Ten Conference football team…
Darrell Hazell – Purdue
…should lose to a Conference USA team even if that CUSA team is very well coached and a Top 50 team in the country?
NO….no one should argue that it was OK that Purdue lost to Marshall on Sunday with a head coach in his third year on the job and thus that is why Darrell Hazell now sits on the…
No. 1 Hot Seat!
Up next for Hazell and Purdue…
Indiana State
…and then Virginia Tech at home which is a game that in our opinion Purdue can and should win and in a few weeks and thus the Purdue Boilermakers should be….
2 – 1
….when they host Bowling Green on September 26.
Keep coaching these kids up Darrell!
2. Kevin Wilson, Indiana – Really Kevin Wilson? Really?
In Kevin Wilson’s FIFTH season as the head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers football team IU was only able to beat FCB Southern Illinois at home by a score of…
48 – 47
….and that is a Southern Illinois team that put up a record of…
6 – 6
…in 2014!
Really Kevin Wilson?
Here’s the bad news for Kevin Wilson and Indiana…the rest of the Hoosiers non-conference slate after the close win over the Salukis:
FIU – Which just beat UCF
Western Kentucky – Which just beat Vanderbilt
At Wake Forest – Which isn’t that good BUT is sure the Hell better than Southern Illinois!
YES…Kevin Wilson’s head coaching career should be flashing before his eyes right now because it’s on the verge of extinction if the past continues into the future in Bloomington!
YES….we would heartedly recommend your Indiana team beat FIU on Saturday Kevin Wilson!
3. Paul Rhoads, Iowa State – The good news is that Iowa State beat Northern Iowa by a score of 38 – 7 on Saturday and the bad news is that means about as much as…
A Pinto Bean rolling across the heartland of America right now!
…which means the 2015 college football season actually begins for Paul Rhoads and Iowa State this coming Saturday in their home game against the Iowa Hawkeyes!
With both head coaches in Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz coming into this game on the Hot Seat the Winning Coach will…
Have the HEAT turned down a bit
..and the Losing Coach can be assured…
His ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!
Anyone else ever seen a prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland?
It isn’t a pretty sight at all and thus why we recommend to BOTH Paul Rhoads and Kirk Ferentz they BOTH win this game which when one thinks about it pretty much assures that either Rhoads or Ferentz’s…
Ass will be lit-up like prairie of corn on fire in the Iowa heartland!
….come next Monday morning!
Oh…Paul Rhoads record against Iowa in six seasons at Iowa State is…
2 – 4
…which is a winning percentage of .333% which is not all that different than Rhoads overall winning percentage coaching the Cyclones which now sit at .395%!
4. Doug Martin, New Mexico State – Score from Saturday’s game:
Florida – 61 NMSU – 13
Doug Martin’s record at New Mexico State:
4 – 21
Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!
Enough said on New Mexico State!
5. Mike London, Virginia – In the South when Southerners are really feeling sorry for your ass but in reality they really don’t give a Damn about your predicament they will say something like….
“Well, just bless your heart.”
We are not going to say…
“Well, just bless your heart.”
…to Virginia head coach Mike London after his Cavaliers got blasted 34 – 16 by UCLA on Saturday because we truly would like to see Mike London succeed at UVA but then how can anyone look at the following records for Mike and not put London’s ass on the Hot Seat?
Overall: 23 – 29 ACC: 11 – 29
If the above continues in 2015 and thus can keep someone employed at the University of Virginia we will be applying to UVA soon for a job because you evidently can fail like a Sorry Son of a Bitch and make Millions of Dollars a year at the school that Thomas Jefferson founded!
Oh..up next for Virginia….
Notre Dame at home!
“Well, just bless Mike London’s heart,” Notre Dame fans around America are now saying in unison!
6. Trent Miles, Georgia State – Score from Saturday’s game:
Charlotte – 23 Georgia State – 20
Trent Miles record at Georgia State:
1 – 24
Uhhhhh…that equals Hot Seat!
Enough said on Georgia State!
7. Todd Monken, Southern Miss – Southern Miss played a decent game against Mississippi State for about a half BUT we nor anyone else with a working brain gave Todd Monken and his Golden Eagles much of a chance to beat the Bulldogs which means there is yet another loss on the board and that leave Monken’s records in his third season on the job in Hattiesburg at…
Overall: 4 – 21
Conference: 2 – 14
YES…Larry Fedora did win 12 games in the 2011 season at Southern Miss and now over the last three seasons plus Southern Miss has won….
4 Football Games!
Shocking…just Damn Shocking!
8. Charlie Strong, Texas – It’s one thing in your second year on the job at Texas to take your football team to South Bend, Indiana and lose to Notre Dame.
There is no shame in losing to Notre Dame after all BUT in Charlie Strong’s second year on the job at Texas Strong took his Longhorns to South Bend and lost…
38 – 3
….in a performance where…
The Texas Offense did not exist
The Texas Defense did not exist
The Texas Special Teams barely existed
…which makes us wonder here at Coaches Hot Seat:
Just what in the Hell has Charlie Strong and his football coaches been doing since the end of the 2014 football season?
The answer to that question is evidently NOTHING AT ALL!
On top of that Texas has a QB that would be lucky to run SIXTH string on the Coaches Hot Seat Flag-Football team who from where we sit has NO DAMN ABILITY to lead anyone to do anything which really makes us wonder what exactly is going on at Texas right now because it may be the case that…
Charlie Strong and the Texas assistant football coaches…
Don’t Have A Freaking Clue!
Now at 0 – 1 here is what Texas has left on the schedule in 2015:
Rice California Oklahoma State At TCU Oklahoma Kansas State At Iowa State Kansas At West Virginia Texas Tech At Baylor
Hell…there is a REAL chance that Texas….YES Texas…IF the Longhorns play like they did against Notre Dame will…
NOT win another football game in 2015!
Memo to Charlie Strong: If your Texas football team loses to Rice and California and you then lose to Oklahoma State, TCU and Oklahoma you will be fired before the Iowa State game so here’s a thought for you Charlie…
We would recommend your football team actually show-up against a Rice team that checking the Owls roster does not have ONE player on their team that Texas recruited!
YES…this Saturday’s game against Rice at home in Austin is the BIGGEST game of Charlie Strong’s coaching career because with a loss in this spot to the Owls it will only be a matter of WHEN and not IF Charlie Strong will be fired in Austin so we would recommend someone on the Texas coaching staff get the attention of the Texas football players before Saturday!
9. Al Golden, Miami – Al Golden and Miami did what they had to do in Week 1 and beat Bethune-Cookman by a score of 45 – 0 and now the 2015 college football season begins for Al Golden and Miami with a trip to play FAU in Boca Raton in a game that Al Golden and Miami…
CANNOT LOSE!
Lose to FAU with Nebraska and a game at Cincinnati left on the non-conference schedule before starting ACC play at Florida State and Al Golden will be in a Helluva HOT spot for the rest of the 2015 college football season!
10. Derek Mason, Vanderbilt – In a home game against Western Kentucky that Derek Mason and Vanderbilt HAD TO WIN the Commodores lost to WKU and now Derek Mason is really in a Helluva spot with Georgia coming to Nashville this Saturday. We will say that Vanderbilt looked better on defense and better on offense against Western Kentucky than in the 2014 season BUT the margin for error is very small for Derek Mason and he will probably need 4 or maybe 5 wins to return for the 2016 season and with that let’s take a look at what Vanderbilt has left on the schedule in 2015:
Georgia Austin Peay At Ole Miss At Middle Tennessee At South Carolina Missouri At Houston At Florida Kentucky Texas A&M At Tennessee
Geez….can Derek Mason and Vanderbilt really find four or maybe five wins playing the above remaining games?
We would be STUNNED if Vanderbilt wins four or five games in 2015 is our answer to that question!
11 – 30 Post Week 1 Hot Seat Coaches Analysis Coming Soon!
