Tag Archive: SEC

It’s “Fish Or Cut Bait Time” for Will Muschamp at South Carolina…and if Muschamp Doesn’t “Get It Done” in Columbia His Head Coaching Career Will Be Over…Before He Hits the Age of 50! – Happy Birthday to the Head Ball Coach Steve Spurrier! 71 Years Young Today! – The Late Great Lewis Grizzard and An Eternal Truth…You Are Missed Lewis But NEVER Forgotten!

 

In the 16 or so years since Will Muschamp first ran into Nick Saban in Atlanta….which if we remember right was around 2000 at a high school football game or camp at the Georgia Dome….Muschamp has made quite a few stops including at LSU, Miami Dolphins, Auburn, Texas, the Florida head coaching job, and now the South Carolina head coaching job, and as they say in the South it’s now….

Fish or Cut Bait Time for Will Muschamp

….because if Will Muschamp doesn’t get it done at South Carolina NOW his head coaching career will be over before he hits the age of 50!

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What exactly does….

“Get It Done”

….mean in the context of being successful at South Carolina which in recent years has seen some success under Steve Spurrier…who by the way turns 71 years old today on April 20…so Happy Birthday to the Head Ball Coach who is now 71 years young!

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In our opinion here at Coaches Hot Seat if we were hired as the athletic director at South Carolina today we would call Will Muschamp into our office and outline how we would define his time at USC as a “success” or not in the following way:

Running a clean program that did not break ANY NCAA rules

Graduating most if not all of the South Carolina football players

A .500 or plus record and bowl game trip EVERY YEAR

A Top 3 finish in the SEC East EVERY YEAR

Win the SEC East ONCE every THREE YEARS

Win the SEC Conference Championship ONCE every SEVEN YEARS

Can Will Muschamp meet the expectations as described above that Coaches Hot Seat as the AD at South Carolina has set for him going forward?

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Well….let’s see how Steve Spurrier would have done against the above expectations…who in our opinion is one of the Top 5 All-Time Head Coaches in SEC Football history:

YES = Running a clean program that did not break ANY NCAA rules

YES = Graduating most if not all of the South Carolina football players

9 out of 11 years so NO = A .500 or plus record and bowl game trip EVERY YEAR

6 out of 11 years so NO = A Top 3 finish in the SEC East EVERY YEAR

1 out of 11 years so NO = Win the SEC East ONCE every THREE YEARS

0 out of 11 years so NO = Win the SEC Conference Championship ONCE every SEVEN YEARS

So let’s see here…Steve Spurrier…a Top 5 All-Time Head Coach in SEC History did not meet our expectations for South Carolina football and Will Muschamp who is sitting on a head coaching record in four years at Florida of…

Overall:  28 – 21

SEC:  17 – 15

….will meet our expectations in Columbia?

Not Very Damn Likely!

Before we get to what Will Muschamp faces in the 2016 football season at South Carolina, let us first say that Muschamp does have one very Damn good thing going for him and that is…

South Carolina is in the SEC Eastern Division

….which is a division where even a slightly-elevated performance on a consistent basis above the norm by Tennessee, Florida, Georgia, Missouri, or South Carolina who can all get plenty of talent on campus to win lots of football games can lead to an extended run that would lead to many appearances in the SEC Championship Game as the SEC Eastern Division Champ and as Carl Spackler….Bill Murray….said in Caddyshack…..Will Muschamp has….

“That going for him…which is nice!”

Will Muschamp, South Carolina

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1 st season at South Carolina

Overall Head Coaching Record (Florida): 28 – 21

SEC (Florida): 17 – 15

The First and Primary Question for Will Muschamp as of today is: How many games does Will Muschamp need to win at South Carolina in 2016 to get his ass off the Hot Seat and to build some momentum for the future in Columbia?

Let’s go to South Carolina’s 2016 schedule to answer that question:

At Vanderbilt
At Mississippi State
East Carolina
At Kentucky
Texas A&M
Georgia
UMass
Tennessee
Missouri
At Florida
Western Carolina
At Clemson

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OK….Bozo the Clown or ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

2 Football Games

….coaching South Carolina in 2016 BUT as we look at the rest of the Gamecocks schedule this coming season we are beginning to think that…

Will Muschamp will be Very Damn Lucky to coach South Carolina to 6+ wins in 2016!

With that in mind IF Will Muschamp can get SIX wins in 2016 and get the Gamecocks to a bowl game we would call that a significant achievement which would get Muschamp off the Hot Seat heading into the 2017 football season BUT if we had to guess right now how many games the Gamecocks will win in the upcoming season we would guess…

4 Wins!

Memo to Will Muschamp and South Carolina AD Ray Tanner:  If South Carolina only wins FOUR football games in 2016 BOTH of your asses will be roasting come December which we guess would lead to…

Ray Tanner being forced to resign as the AD at South Carolina before Christmas

AND

Will Muschamp entering the 2017 college football season on one of the Hottest Seats in the American Republic!

With all of the above being said we can only wish….

Good Luck to Coach Boom and South Carolina in 2016

….and remind Will Muschamp and everyone else of the wise words of the Late Great Lewis Grizzard:

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“Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

Beware the Ides of April at Coaches Hot Seat After A Bloodless Coup Over the Weekend That Has Put the “Balboa Café Seven” Back In Editorial Control of Coaches Hot Seat! – The “Younger” Crowd At Coaches Hot Seat Got Their Chance…But They Are Out…and For Some Damn Good Reasons It Seems…And With That Let’s Get To the College Football Head Coaches on the Hot Seat Starting With #1 = Texas A&M Head Coach Kevin Sumlin! – Oh…It’s Good To Have the “Balboa Café Seven” Back…And We Are Of Course Assuming the Coaches On the Hot Seat Don’t Like This Development One Damn Bit….But That’s Just Too Damn Bad!

 

It wasn’t the Ides of March, otherwise known as 15 March on the Roman calendar which historically marks the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC outside the Theater of Pompey in Rome…

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….but it was something close and is now being referred to at Coaches Hot Seat as…

Beware the Ides of April

…because over this past weekend a bloodless coup of sorts was undertaken to oust the “younger crowd” from editorial control of Coaches Hot Seat and return to power what we like to call the…

“Balboa Café Seven”

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….in reference to the original seven Mercury astronauts and the original seven members of Coaches Hot Seat, the “Balboa Café Seven”, that hatched the idea behind Coaches Hot Seat at the Balboa Café in the Marina District of San Francisco in the Fall of 2006 in an effort to push the ouster of then Stanford head football coach Walt Harris! Of course, Jim Harbaugh followed Walt Harris as the Stanford head football coach and the last NINE years is some amazing history for Cardinal Football, and we here at Coaches Hot Seat have had a Helluva fun time too!

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As anyone that has followed and read Coaches Hot Seat over the past NINE college football seasons the general approach here has been to…

Light-Up the Asses of Coaches on the Hot Seat

….and let the coaching bodies fall where they may and for Damn sure….

There have been a Helluva lot of Head Coaches bodies fall over the past NINE college football seasons!

A chair on fire... metaphor "In The Hot Seat"

After a mini-rebellion of sorts the “Balboa Café Seven” now have their hands back on the editorial wheel at Coaches Hot Seat after a clear majority of the 147 members at Coaches Hot Seat decided to go ahead with the coup, which was bloodless, but not without a lot of crying, moaning, and begging by the “younger” crowd to give them another chance to make things right….Sorry….you had your chance boys but now step-aside because we have a Helluva lot of work to do before the 2016 College Football Season kicks-off!

What were the primary reasons for ousting the “younger” crowd at Coaches Hot Seat that had the editorial wheel of the website for less than a year now you ask?

To put it simply many at Coaches Hot Seat felt that the “younger” crowd at Coaches Hot Seat was…

Too Damn Easy on the Head Coaches

Too Damn Easy on the Athletic Directors

Too Damn Easy on the Clowns behind the College Football Playoff

Too Damn Easy on the Bastards at the NCAA

Too Damn Easy on the Bastards running the Bowl Games

Too Damn Easy on the Bastards in the Media

Bottom-Line: The majority of Coaches Hot Seat felt that the “younger” crowd which took over running the day-to-day operations of Coaches Hot Seat last Summer were just flat-out…

Too Damn Easy on Everyone!

….which has led to the “Balboa Café Seven” being put back in charge and now back on the job and needless to say they have a Helluva lot to say and why the Hell not get this ship righted right Damn now by getting back in the Damn saddle and get at the….

Current College Football Head on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings

…..starting with the #1 spot and working our way down…and what head coach now sits in the #1 Hot Seat on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings you ask?

Why Texas A&M Head Coach Kevin Sumlin!

Kevin Sumlin, Texas A&M

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5 th season at Texas A&M in 2016

Overall Record:  36 – 16

SEC:  17 – 15

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Anyone that has read the Coaches Hot Seat Blog in recent years knows our affection for all-things Texas A&M and that is reason #1 and the best Damn reason why we are just…

NOT Going To Tolerate Mediocrity at Texas A&M

…and Kevin Sumlin Son….in your 4 th season coaching the Aggies the reality is over the past 3 seasons in SEC Conference play you are sitting on an SEC record of…

11 – 13

….and if you don’t get that changed in a Helluva hurry…even with the HUGE and Totally Damn Idiotic buyout you have at Texas A&M….the Aggies will be looking for a new head football coach come December 2016 which brings us to this critical question:

How many games MUST Kevin Sumlin win in 2016 to be employed by the Aggies when Santa Claus gets in his sleigh in late December of this year?

Well…let’s go to Texas A&M’s 2016 schedule:

UCLA
Prairie View A&M
At Auburn
Arkansas (Dallas)
At South Carolina
Tennessee
Bye Week
At Alabama
New Mexico State
At Mississippi State
Ole Miss
Texas San Antonio
LSU

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OK….Bozo the Clown or actually ANY Damn Clown you can think of could win…

3 Games

….coaching the Aggies in 2016 so let’s start with 3 Wins and work our way through what is a pretty tough schedule for an Aggie football team with a new offensive coordinator and new quarterback under center BUT even with all the uncertainty we see No Damn Reason at all that A&M doesn’t win at least…

8 Football Games in 2016

…and post a record in SEC play of at least…

4 – 4!

Memo to Kevin Sumlin: Son…if you post less than 9 wins overall and less than 5 wins in SEC play in 2016 we would recommend you have a mover on speed-deal BUT then even 9 wins might lead to your firing AND if you lose that opening game to UCLA at Kyle Field….Oh Geez….is there something hotter than your ass sitting on the face of the Sun which is around…

1.8 Million Degrees Fahrenheit?

SunEarthOh!

Well, a supernova explosion is around 7.2 trillion degrees Fahrenheit and that is about what the temperature that Kevin Sumlin’s ass will be if the Texas A&M Fighting Aggies lose to the Very Damn Soft UCLA Bruins on September 3 in College Station!

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Oh….it does feel Oh So Damn Good for the “Balboa Café Seven” to be back in control of Coaches Hot Seat!

Up next the #2 Head Coach on the Coaches Hot Seat Rankings…

Will Muschamp, South Carolina

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Our friends in South Carolina tell us that Will Muschamp is blowing a Helluva lot of Sunshine up the folks in Columbia asses and that he has people believing the Gamecocks are going to be a tough team to beat in Year 1 of the Muschamp-era at USC….Hmmmmmmm….seems like we have heard this song before and we ain’t talking about Louis Armstrong singing It’s A Wonderful World….

….but rather we are thinking of FLORIDA and with that in mind it might just be Cock fans calling the Operator to find out how in the Hell they can get rid of Will Muschamp before the turkey is on the table in late November!

Meanwhile if there is a song that defines Will Muschamp it has to be….

CRAZY!

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…are we right?

Well…of course the Balboa Café Seven are right and with that blog post Coaches Hot Seat is back in business!