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The Coaching Carousel: A Wild Ride of Buyouts, Bargains, and Burnt Biscuits

Mark Haines on October 1, 2024

Hefty Buyouts Await 4 of Our Top 5

Let’s go on a whirlwind tour of the college football coaching carousel, where the stakes are high, the contracts are crazy, and the pressure is hotter than a two-dollar pistol. We’re talkin’ buyouts that could make your head spin, fan bases ready to revolt, and coaches clinging to their jobs like a possum to a persimmon tree.

First Stop: Gainesville, Florida

Picture this: The Swamp, home of the Florida Gators, where the humidity rivals the pressure to win, and the athletic department operates like it’s stuck in a time warp. We’re talkin’ Windows 95 computers, flip phones, and a fax machine that’s practically considered cutting-edge technology.

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The Hot Seat Burns: Purdue Parts Ways with Graham Harrell Amidst Offensive Struggles

Mark Haines on September 30, 2024

In the high-stakes college football world, where every play counts and every game matters, the pressure cooker environment can sometimes boil over. And in West Lafayette, Indiana, the temperature had been rising steadily.

The Fall From Grace

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What We’re Watchin’ Saturday – Week 5 Edition

Mark Haines on September 28, 2024

Early Games

Kentucky at 6 Ole Miss

Game Time: Noon Eastern/9:00 AM Pacific

TV: ABC, ESPN+

Ole Miss is on fire; the Rebels are hotter than a two-dollar pistol. They’re lighting it up, leading the FBS in passing yards, total offense, scoring offense, and scoring defense. Dart’s slinging it like a gunslinger, and the Rebels are putting up video game numbers. But, let’s be honest, they’ve been playing a bunch of cupcakes. That changes this Saturday. Kentucky had Georgia on the ropes, and now they’re coming for Ole Miss. Can Kentucky slow down the Rebels’ high-octane offense? Or will Jaxson Dart and his crew keep this train rolling? This SEC showdown is about to get wild.

20 Oklahoma State at 23 Kansas State

Game Time: Noon Eastern/9:00 AM Pacific

TV: ESPN

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LSU’s Tiger Stadium: A Century of Gridiron Glory

Mark Haines on September 26, 2024

Few venues can match the storied legacy of Louisiana State University’s Tiger Stadium in the annals of college football history. For nearly a century, this hallowed ground has been the stage for some of the sport’s most electrifying moments, a colosseum of the South that has witnessed the rise and fall of football dynasties.

A Monument to American Ingenuity

The year was 1924. Calvin Coolidge was president, George Gershwin’s “Rhapsody in Blue” premiered, and in Baton Rouge, a modest 12,000-seat stadium known as “State Field” rose from the earth. Little did anyone know that this humble beginning would evolve into one of college football’s most iconic landmarks.

But the true stroke of genius came during the Great Depression, a time when American resourcefulness was put to the test. In the 1930s, as the nation grappled with economic turmoil, Louisiana’s larger-than-life Governor Huey P. Long and LSU’s crafty athletics manager Thomas “Skipper” Heard concocted a plan that epitomized the era’s “make do and mend” spirit.

The Dormitory Stadium: A Depression-Era Masterstroke

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The Huddle’s Getting Tense: Week 5’s Hottest Seats Revealed

Mark Haines on September 24, 2024

1. Billy Napier – Florida Gators

First Win, Same Old Problems

Napier finally got a W, but let’s not kid ourselves. Mississippi State was fresh off a loss to Toledo. Florida’s offense looked better, but it was more about Mississippi State’s defensive scheme than Napier’s brilliance.

And the defense? Yikes. Soft zones, missed tackles, and a general sense of panic against an up-tempo offense. If Mississippi State can shred them, imagine what UCF or Tennessee will do.

The 17-point margin is deceptive. This game was a nail-biter until the final minutes.

Nick Saban’s comments on GameDay cut to the heart of the matter. He wasn’t pointing fingers at the coaches but rather at the administration. Florida’s had a revolving door of coaches since the glory days of Spurrier and Meyer. Saban suggested that perhaps the issue lies in the athletic department and the university’s commitment to providing the resources and support necessary for sustained success. It takes more than just hiring a good coach; it takes a culture of winning that permeates the entire program. Gator Nation needs to understand that the solution might lie beyond the sidelines. When this job opens up again, Florida’s administration needs to be ready to demonstrate a real commitment to building a championship program if they want to attract a top-tier coach. Right now, this isn’t a very attractive job.

2. Dave Aranda – Baylor Bears

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Week 5 Flashpoints: Auburn’s Struggles, Mack Brown’s Moment, and Nebraska’s Setback

Mark Haines on September 23, 2024

Week 5 Coaches Hot Seat rankings will be posted on Tuesday morning – stay tuned!

The Auburn Abyss: Hugh Freeze’s Nightmare Continues

Auburn, a once-proud program, now resembles a sinking ship, rudderless and taking on water fast. Hugh Freeze, the captain brought in to right the vessel, seems to be steering it straight into an iceberg. The latest loss, a miserable 24-14 home defeat to Arkansas, marked the fourth in six games at Jordan-Hare. Quarterbacks Hank Brown and Payton Thorne looked more like lost freshmen than seasoned leaders, and the offense sputtered and coughed its way to a humiliating defeat.

The numbers paint a grim picture. Auburn is winless against Power 5 opponents this year, with a dismal 6-19 record in their last 25 matchups. The last time they tasted victory against a winning Power 5 team? Halloween weekend of 2021. It’s a haunting statistic that hangs over Freeze like a specter.

His tenure at Liberty ended with a whimper, as he dropped four straight, including a shocking loss to New Mexico State. Now at Auburn, he’s lost 10 of his first 16 games against FBS competition, with another embarrassing loss to, you guessed it, New Mexico State. It’s a pattern of futility that’s becoming all too familiar.

Mack Brown’s Mea Culpa: A Coach on the Brink

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What We’re Watchin Saturday – Week 4 Edition

Mark Haines on September 20, 2024

Preview of Six Marquee Matchups & Full Viewer Guide

Week 4 in college football isn’t just another Saturday on the calendar. It’s a crucible, a proving ground where pretenders are unmasked, and contenders emerge bloodied but unbowed.

Picture this: Twenty-two young men, their futures hanging in the balance, lined up on a field about to become their battleground. The air crackles with tension. In the stands, thousands hold their breath, their hopes and fears palpable.

This weekend, we’re in for a feast of gridiron drama. Six marquee matchups pit the Top 25 teams against each other in conference showdowns that could reshape the season’s landscape. The anticipation is palpable. These aren’t just games; they’re narrative-defining moments, each with the potential to launch or derail championship dreams.

But here’s the kicker: It’s not just about the rankings. It’s about the stories unfolding on that field—the quarterback fighting for redemption after last week’s crushing interception. The underdog team, written off by pundits, hungry to prove the world wrong. The coach on the hot seat, his career potentially riding on the next four quarters. These are the personal struggles that make college football so compelling.

As we enter Week 4, remember that every snap, decision, and moment of glory or failure in college football isn’t just changing the scoreboard. It’s changing lives.

So, which battles will define this weekend? Which teams will rise to the occasion, and which will crumble under huge expectations? The unpredictability of college football makes it so thrilling—strap in, folks. We’re about to find out.

Early Games

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Finally-A-Friday – Week 4 Featured Friday Game Preview and Schedule

Mark Haines on September 20, 2024

No. 24 Illinois (3-0) at No. 22 Nebraska (3-0): The Big Ten’s Unlikely Prizefight

Television: Fox

Time: 8:00 p.m. Eastern, 5:00 p.m. Pacific

Announcers: Tim Brando, Devin Gardner

Picture this: Once relegated to the footnotes of Big Ten history, two teams are now squaring off in a Top 25 slugfest that has the college football world buzzing. This isn’t just a game; it’s a resurrection story times two.

Illinois and Nebraska. Last year, these names elicited shrugs. This year? They’re the talk of the town, each riding a wave of defensive dominance that would make the ghosts of the ’85 Bears nod in approval.

Let’s break it down:

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The Heat Is On: Decoding the Coaches Hot Seat

Mark Haines on September 19, 2024

In the high-stakes college football world, where millions of dollars and countless dreams hang in the balance, a phrase sends shivers down the spine of even the most seasoned coaches: “the hot seat.” But what does it mean to be on the hot seat? Let’s dive in and dissect this phenomenon that keeps coaches up at night and fans buzzing with speculation.

How We Determine Our Rankings

At Coaches Hot Seat, we don’t just throw around vague notions of who’s in trouble. We quantify it. We rank all 134 FBS coaches, from the scalding hot #1 to the ice-cold #134. And let me tell you, it’s not just about who’s about to get fired. You’ll find names like Kirby Smart, Lane Kiffin, and Steve Sarkisian on our list, and trust me, they’re not packing up their offices anytime soon.

So, what does it mean to be closer to that #1 spot? It’s simple: pressure. Intense, unrelenting, microscopic pressure. Every decision, every word, every damn phone call is scrutinized like it’s the Zapruder film. Our top ten? They’re living in a fishbowl with piranha-like fans and media circling 24/7.

You might wonder, “How do you develop these rankings?” It’s a cocktail of analytics and expert opinions, shaken, not stirred. Is it perfect? Hell no. It’s as subjective as your aunt’s holiday fruitcake recipe. But here’s the kicker – your voice matters. We’ve got a little something in our model called “fan sentiment.” Those heated debates on our message boards? Yeah, they’re part of the equation.

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Coaches Hot Seat Week #4: Sizzling Sidelines and Cooling Cushions!

Mark Haines on September 17, 2024

1. Billy Napier – Florida

The Gator Pit: Billy Napier’s Sinking Ship and Florida’s Rotting Hull

In the swamps of Gainesville, a tragicomedy is unfolding. Billy Napier, once hailed as Florida’s football savior, is watching his career circle the drain faster than a punted football. But this isn’t just a story of a coach out of his depth—it’s a tale of institutional decay that would make even the most ardent Gator fan weep.

Napier’s Nightmare by the Numbers

  • 12-16 overall record (That’s .429 for the math-challenged)
  • 6-11 in the SEC (Where football dreams go to die)
  • 7 straight losses to FBS opponents (A streak that would make even the Vanderbilt of old blush)
  • 0-4 vs. rivals and in bowl games (Goose eggs aren’t just for breakfast anymore)

The A&M Massacre

Saturday’s game against Texas A&M wasn’t just a loss; it was a public execution on turf:

  • Outgained 488-301 (David vs. Goliath, if David forgot his slingshot)
  • Possession time: 37:46 to 22:14 (A&M hogged the ball like a kid with the last cookie)
  • First-half shutout at home (Last seen when Napoleon was still conquering Europe)

The $26 Million Question

Napier’s buyout could fund a small country, but as one insider said, “The Gators can’t afford not to fire him.” When losing a coach costs less than keeping him, you know you’re in the Twilight Zone of college football.

The Rotting Swamp

But wait, there’s more! Florida’s problems run deeper than Napier’s inability to win a game of checkers, let alone football:

  1. Facilities straight out of “That ’70s Show”
  2. An athletic department running on Windows 95
  3. NIL strategy? What’s that?
  4. Transfer portal prowess of a flip phone in an iPhone world

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